lucid

* 2024-07-17 00:00 Weds comp night #12
* Includes 2024-07-17 #312, 313 DILDs (LD #17,18 reboot '24) [13, 18, 16 [2], 0, 5, 9, 1, 9, 1, 5, 8, 10, 9, 8[2], 4[2] ]
* (f) [hypnopompic] "Machetes -- nobody can use except $1 people from the bargain store"
* Demo for family in (computer?) store
* (f) girl playing music on a blow keyboard ("hot cross buns"), see a large array of instruments in a room
* 2024-07-17 LD #312
* I come to consciousness sitting on the edge of a bed in a corner of a bedroom, and I hear the sound of rain falling on to the roof and the side of the house. I'm looking at something (magazine, tablet) with the picture of a man dressed in red. I notice I'm wearing a watch on my right wrist and see that the face and part of the red color is visible also filling the face of the clock, which I think is odd, so I nose pinch, and become lucid. I stand up and go to the door of the room, I want to enter the main house. Things get hazy and blurry, I move through doors and find myself in a large living room. I look to the left, and see wife E sitting at a long table on a laptop. She looks young and healthy with that thick, luxurious brown/black hair. I'm really happy to see her, and come up to her and offer a warm greeting and a hug, but she's very stern and is all business. "I have an important message for you [from heaven", and I feel fear, I think they know about some of my secrets, and I think that's stupid, of course they know, but I'm still waiting in trepidation to listen to what she says. She says that she overhead others talking about this. Then she tells me that of our two children (me and wife L), one will die, and one will have very hard times. I'm confused by this message because both L and I are too old to have kids, and we don't have any now. I think it doesn't apply to me. Wife L enters the room and moves to a corner and fiddles with a cabinet, she's wearing a white outfit made up of criss-crossing straps. She doesn't really look like her waking self. I think this is probably the first time they've ever been in a dream together, so why not introduce them. I ask L "what's your name?" And she answers "L" accurately. I go over to her and touch her briefly. She leaves the room and the house through the front door. A standing stove over by the fireplace catches my eye and I go to it and tell E that hey it looks like an old Soviet model. I also see a green Christmas tree. I want to go after wife L I want to talk to her some more, I run out the front door and there is a night-time suburban hilly neighborhood stretching out before me. L is in a car and taking off, "come back!" I call but she drives off. I fly after her but I'm too slow, I will myself to fly faster and I get a big "turbo boost" at high speed but she still drives away. I forget here and notice a convenience store just up ahead, and a young woman standing outside it. Then I notice a convertible car driving from right to left up a hill, top down, 4 people driving in it, some girls in the back seat, I fly after them, slow at first then again will high speed and shoot forwards at high speed, land in the car in the back seat. I decide I want to return to the house and score some comp points, maybe teleport there, I wake up.
* 2024-07-17 LD #313
* Get lucid in a room in a house, full of clutter and objects, and a ton of kids hanging around. There are some people sitting at a table including an attracting young woman, I go up to her, stand behind her, and massage a part of her. I decide I want to see her skin and her body under and around becomes visible. I remember the competition and want to store some points so I look around and with all the kids around decide to do mass DC control. First will them all to become cats, and most of them do! Then I gesture and TK them all to the couch in the middle of the room, and this works as well. I go to the couch and then see that I missed one who was hiding behind some piece of furniture and so avoided my TK. I walk away from the couch and turn around to face it and call out to them, "What does a cat say?" They answer in a group, unison voice "WOOF!". I chuckle and then ask them again, this time applying control so that they'll answer "meow", and they do answer "meow." The kids want to watch TV so I take off flying around the room, looking for a TV. The room has a very high ceiling and there is a wide ledge running around the perimeter of the room at the level of a 2nd floor. It's full of objects, furniture, I notice a pool table. I return to the couch and there's a TV, I switch it on and notice a brief image appear. I move to the kitchen and as I pass a refrigerator on my left, an unseen DC behind me asks, "is it worth it to sell your soul?" I stop and say "absolutely not, no pleasure is worth an eternity of pain and suffering". I turn around back towards the couch and notice a container of chocolate ice cream on the counter, I take off the lid and see the partially melted brown ice cream, pick up a small spoon and eat a spoon of the ice cream, there is no flavor or texture, I wake up.

* 2024-07-18 00:00 Thurs comp night #13
* Some fragments/recall weaker several scenarios, recovery night
* (f) Run after fat woman up stairs
* (f) delivery/receipt of box/shipment
* (f) S1, S2 and a car outside

* 2024-07-19 00:00 Thurs comp night #14
* DannyD in StP, explain my house
* his dad ND (offer shake hands, refuses, see odd growths on his hands, ND will sleep in a bed which is behind a curtain, lock on the door,
* pool/billiards explaining side English
* 2-level bathroom see under stall doors
* Procession outside including girl w/super bulging eyes

* Includes 2024-07-12 #310, 311 DILDs (LD #15,16 reboot '24) [13, 18, 16 [2], 0, 5, 9, 1, 9, 1, 5, 8, 10, 9, 8[2] ]
* Night-time, dark outside, Riding in car back right seat, the windshield frosted over I'm very nervous that driver can't see, (I do a nose pinch? Not clear result?). I'm trying to look through the windshield to see how the driver's driving. It seems he's driving on the left side of the street, and it seems he's driving really fast based on the conditions. I wonder if the frost/fog on the windshield will melt to give a better view. We arrive to a (checkpoint?) and I see a lot of large animals outside the right window, walking. Horses, zebras, etc.
* LD #310. I'm walking around an indoor dark/twilight-lit [DS] area, enter a rest area to the right off of the main corridor with a lot of couches, I think I'll sit down, I turn around and look back towards the hallway, studying the people there. All the couches are occupied by identical older women with huge tall white hairdos, they're sleeping, and each is holding a child in their arms. The fact that they look identical is amusing/interesting to me, I want to call Lena to see this. I think this is the place that the babushkas come to rest while the mothers are doing something. I see there is nowhere to sit down, so I decide to leave, but now there are even more, younger teen girls, blocking the exit path[DS] that I entered on, I move to leave and perhaps having to climb slowly over them, but they get out of my way, and I leave the area back into the hallway. Suddenly I stop, suspect I'm dreaming, nose pinch, get lucid, feel joy, immediately turn and walk quickly the other way. I rub my hands vigorously as I walk, and I feel the dream move from a bit unstable into stable, I enter a huge, bright super-high-ceiling atrium/area. There are people walking and standing around. The walls are white(?) [DS]. To my left is a tall work table with computer monitors on it, and a middle-aged woman is just leaving the table, I go over to her, say "Hi, my name's <>, what's your name?" She answers "Carol". I think she's teaching something to students at this table. I ask "what are you teaching here" but she walks by without answering. I move forwards into the center of the room, walk up to someone [forgot], state my name, ask theirs, don't recall answer. I move to the right towards a wall and there is a holographic display, rectangular, set atop a pedestal a few feet away from the wall, the screen is about 4 feet off the ground, translucent, showing some image, I stick my arm through the screen and feel a sort of electric current in my arm, laugh, and keep on walking. I come across a really tall big man [DS], and ask him to give me his light saber. He just walks by. I turn towards the wall and there is an opening, a corridor leading to a (loading dock?) in the distance, and call out to the guys there, "Hey, give me a light saber!" When I speak I hear that there is an echo in the area and think that it's cool that dreams can recreate that as well. I smack my hand on the wall of the corridor a few times to listen to the echo, as I'm doing this, I see a large troupe of people enter into view perpendicular to the hallway, moving from my right to my left, as if there is a perpendicular hallway there, and I notice that they all (10-20 or more of them, walking quickly) dressed entirely, head to foot, in bright white clothing (shirts, pants, shoes, hats, all white). I have a tug of interest in following them but don't. I turn around and I'm at a place where there's a rectangular monolith in the large area, and I see that people are jumping and flying from my area up to the 2nd floor. I want to do this, too. But I feel like someone has latched on to me on my left side, I push/shove that person away, then I bend my legs and jump up to fly, I float easily high up almost to the ceiling, above the level of the 2nd floor balcony, and think that this is an area of anti-gravity. I land on the 2nd floor balcony and sit at a table that's outside of a food stand/burger joint. I'm sitting across from a picnic table [DS] from Andy [colleague from company 3] and say "Hi, Andy, welcome to my lucid dream!" He answers something [forgot]. I'm eating something like a hot dog, and I'm telling the guy across from me at the table (now an unknown Indian guy) "nobody will give me their light saber!". He says "you need to call (the support hotline at) 10354", I repeat the digits to make sure I understand them, he confirms, and then a girl arrives with a 4-foot long burrito/gyros/food thing, it looks really good, but I have a feeling it's not quite what I wanted. The thing that I'm trying to eat, a hot dog, is as tough as leather, I can barely chew it, I can't tear off a new piece, I have to reach up and grab the hot dog with one hand and pull it out of my mouth to cut off a piece to eat, fade to awake.

* Smashing dishes in kitchen. I'm in an industrial kitchen like in a large restaurant. I have the urge to pick up piles of plates and smash them, I pick them up and throw them against the wall and they shatter with an incredibly satisfying sound, and pieces fall to the floor. I turn around and there is a small larder behind me, open (no door), and I pick up another pile of plates and throw it strongly into this area, there is more smashing/breaking sounds, and I watch in satisfaction as other things, like a smoke stack, in the corner of the larder, slowly topple over and also fall to the floor with a crashing sound.

* LD #311 Glove guys squeeze door pizza spaghetti Suzanne closet. I'm examining a computer board, there are 3 (middle eastern?) guys standing around me, it's their board, there is a built-in keyboard, and a number of components, I'm looking at and the guys are explaining the components, the one on the far left-hand side of the board, the owner explains is something like a geiger-counter. Then we're sliding on a smooth concrete path with slightly raised edges like on a slide, with a rounded lip, the path goes through several curves and ends up in a room like a large kitchen, we stand up and high-five each other. I was sitting on the computer board while sliding, I wonder if this might damage it. Inside this kitchen I see some pizza (combo like RT KAS) that I have brought. The guy offers his, and I take a look at it, it is in a bag, and I think it's not as good as mine but I see it does have some interesting meats, like sausage, and probably would be good.
* I'm standing in a room with the board/sliding guy. He mentions that there are some guys in a glove/bag that want something. I see a bag by the wall with something light shining out from it, I go over and look inside, it's like a stairway or tunnel inside, and at the bottom of the glove/bag there is a very bright light, I can't fit though, but I put my face into the top of the bag and look down, and it's like a small bright screen is in the bag on the bottom, but it's not a screen, but a "real" scene. There are about 3 guys in there, sort of like gang thugs, and they want something from me. I feel like I don't have the time or inclination to deal with them, so I tell them I have to go do something. I stand up and turn around towards the guy, while still viewing the scene in the bottom of the glove, fascinated, and say "hey, do you know you have little guys living in this bag?". He answers: "Yeah, and I have some others in my baseball catcher's mitt". I visualize a catcher's mitt then, and think that would be easier to communicate with them than the bag because the mitt is more open. Then the craziness of the situation hits me, I think I'm probably dreaming, and a nose pinch confirms I'm dreaming. Woohoo, a second lucid dream in one night! I'm facing a door to the kitchen we ended up in earlier after sliding, and I move through this door. I know there is a small access door on the bottom (like a doggy door) but it's too small for me, but I imagine that I go through it and fit anyway, and make it into the kitchen. I'm with Suzanne B. I want to eat my pizza, I think of having a slice, but I know that SB has prepared spaghetti for us, and she's leading us to a table, there is a round plate on it and I see some red sauce. I'm wearing a heavy coat and SB asks if I want to take it off, I say yes, she leads us to the first room and to a coat closet, I imagine it's a regular closet in an entryway, I take off the jacket (it's very fluffy like a down parka), and hand it to her. Then I notice that the closet is a door built in to the wall, low, and very narrow. The door is blocked by a small table (with a lamp on it)? As I'm looking at and thinking about this closet, I wake up.

* [04:12 am] basketball, playing vs. <my uni> team, they're all black and super tall, I think how I'll play against them. Coming on to the court someone says "you realize the basket is higher [in college ball] than normal? I look at it and it seems higher, I decide to impress them with my layup abilities and try a reverse layup and miss quite badly. Later in a room with a (coach?) who's very fat and I get a strong whiff of body odor [first time in a dream]. There is a long line of store-processed turkeys leading off into the distance and there is something about this being a refrigerator room. On the court an older guy is lying on the ground, passed out and barfed, I say/think he over exerted
* [???] a team of us is doing industrial espionage [?] I realize I've left some of my things with my name <my name> written on them, including my backpack, they may be able to find me out from this. We leave through a major door and I look back at it and it is multi-part including a swinging metal frame, and someone says something like "Suz Hash [grad] is pregnant".
* <forgot>hanging out with a group of people.
* [LD #297] It was after I had been riding around in the park in my childhood home's neighborhood TVP on an electric motorbike, I was trying to figure out how to flip on the engine, eventually I did, when I had flicked the right switch I saw a battery level indicator light up, then I started up the engine and revved the throttle and rode up to the street level , I get to the top and I see a car that is like my old car parked in front of me with the rear end facing me I see the license plate it is standard CA blue background and gold lettering and even "recognize" it (6SUB...?) . I know I need to get my motorbike into the back of this car but I'm not sure it will fit, I go up to the trunk and look in and there is a small person (child?) hunched there in the back storage area on the left, which is I can see far too small for my bike because the back seat of the car is right there practically against the window. And I get the strong impression this is my old (first) car. I go around the left side and I see there are some pretty girls in the back seat. As I walk around I notice some curly strands of black pit hair hanging out the sleeves. So I lean through the window, and kiss the girl seated there. I see her face and eyes briefly and kiss her again. I realize I'm dreaming and I decide not to get pulled in to "girl stuff" and want to go about some dream goals, so I decide to declare out loud "I'm dreaming!" and stand up and go somewhere else and do some things for the current dreamviews LD competition, and instead I find that I've half-sat up in bed and said "I'm dreaming" out loud! Oops. I felt sort of dreamy after that and only later realized I had not done a state test to see if it wasn't a false awakening/transition. It was instant and not a fade, so it may have been a FA!

Legend

Colors: Lucid, Semi-lucid, Non-lucid
[comment from waking] in angle brackets
(comment / clarification from dreaming) in parentheses
Abbreviations: DS = dream sign, CH = childhood home, S1/S2 = sons, S/O = someone, S/A = something about, [f] = fragment, b/r = bathroom trip, Wn = waking #n, BT = bedtime, OOB = final out of bed time in morning, DO = Disembodied Observer

Summary of the Night

• BT: ~23:35, OOB: ~07:39, fitbit score: 86 (7:05 asleep, 0:47 awake, 1:14 deep, 1:15 REM), med right before bed
• Wakings:
  
  1. 01:59 b/r, no recall
  2. 05:05, b/r, recall, Super long BTS. Probably 1-1.5 hours. Possible light sleep, but felt awake. Took off blanket, cooled off, put it back on later. Physical relaxation pretty simple, but mental relaxation harder. SSILD cycles to direct the relaxation help somewhat. Need to find a way to release the mind faster.
  3. 07:27 final waking, excellent recall

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W2: Camouflage Cars
Outdoors, I see what I think are army cars driving by me. I notice that they have white and black spotted camouflage. I think they blend in well to winter. I watch them drive by me. Then I see a large field of people walking towards me, hundreds of people. Many are carrying a Ukrainian flag. They walk towards me and past me as I stand in their midst.

W2: Political rally
Observing a political rally. They're talking about their plans? They're rallying against a new law? [Vague/forgotten]

W3: Boat cruise [vivid, fun, interesting, decent presence]
Inspecting the naval vessels

I'm outside on the water (on some ship?) observing a large vessel sailing from my right to my left, I'm quite close by. It is colored naval green/gray, and I think this is a naval / military ship. There are others. Then I see that they are moored all together, I'm looking at them all from the stern, they are sort of knocking up against each other. Then I have a close up view of the stern of one of the vessels. It is covered in military equipment. I'm looking for gun emplacements but don't see any, what I do see are very intricate guidance systems (that are used for aiming missiles/guns?). There are a lot of wires leading all over the place. The guidance system looks sort of like a gun emplacement but there is no barrel, but what seems to be two long telescopes or microphones set in parallel about 2 feet apart upon a swiveling stand. I imagine (see/hear?) that there is a female black navy guard who's job is to say "don't touch things" or "get off the boat", and that she is located in a high place so she can see everything going on at ship level.

Cruise Begins

I'm standing on the back of a medium sized boat. It is a boat taking people on a cruise to nearby sights on the bay/ocean. I am a sort of stowaway, I don't have a ticket. I'm standing on the rear left corner of the ship on the "bumper" that is right at water level. There are other people (official passengers) standing to my right on the bumper. I look down as the ship is moving, and I see the churning water from the propellers right there next to me. I think it's quite dangerous, and that anything that falls into that water would be sucked in to the propellers from the (Bernoulli) forces and chopped up. A girl wants to go by me around the perimeter of this bumper so I step aside, and she goes around and there is a bar there and she makes a drink (?), then comes back?

White Sand Lagoon

Then I'm observing the water: we're now motoring through a narrow channel, just a few yards wider on each side of the ship, and it's very choppy, like a rushing river, I have some thoughts about this scene. Then we're located in a large, calm lagoon, the water is still and clear. The bottom of the lagoon, about 20-30 feet deep, is shining bright white sand. I didn't know that there was any white sand like this in this part of the world. A girl (same one from earlier?) says: "Let's jump in" ("Let's do a cannon ball?"). I'm a bit hesitant, but I decide what the heck, and I jump in. I think, this is ocean water, so it will be salty. I open my eyes to look around, I see a small sea creature (like a jellyfish) and I again admire the bright white sand on the bottom of the lagoon. I surface and spend about half a minute trying to brush my bangs out of my eyes. No matter what I do they keep falling back immediately, obscuring my sight. After this goes on for a while I sort of laugh, I think the situation is amusing. The girl is still there.

Buffet Party

Inside the ship in a large party room, there is a party going on. A lot of people. There is a buffet of various food dishes there. I go to one with the girl and look at it, it is something like chunks of turkey meat with a lot of toothpicks on top. I'm studying this for a while, I'm trying to decide which toothpicks are new and which ones have been used and placed back. I say it's always hard to figure out which ones are new. The girl says it's easy: the ones lying horizontally are used, the ones standing vertically are new. I pick up a vertical one and take up a piece of meat and eat it. A (small boy?) criticizes the dish as being non-vegan (?), and I answer by saying "it is excellent protein!"

W3: Taxi ride [fairly vivid, present]
Start the ride

I've just gotten in to the taxi (at the airport?). I'm sitting in the back seat. I see a small (like 2-seat) propeller airplane taking off on the runway, heading right for us. At the last moment it pulls up and takes off flying over us. I expect the driver will eventually ask me where we're going, but he doesn't. I have a lot of trouble speaking, I feel like I can't communicate my thoughts. I say "Can you go to Pe...ky?" He says "sure!". I know that that is not my final destination, that I have to go further. I'm wondering why I need to take two different taxis/modes of transportation, can't this guy just take me to my final destination? I ask and he says yes, of course. I was wondering if it would be too far out of his way. Might as well go with just one trip. Then we're driving through the intersection next to my CH, I recognize it, but don't say anything. I feel like I should get off here but I don't want the driver to know where I live.

Lovely trees/flowers

We're driving on a street, up ahead in the distance I see a huge rhododendron plant/tree. On either side of us are flowering trees/vines, there are many colorful flowers. I comment on how lovely they are. I think they grow so well because of the warm weather here.

End of trip

The taxi is now a mini-bus and we're pulling in to a courtyard that is the front yard (vastly expanded) of my CH. (Roundabout?) Some people get off, and I'm a bit slow in getting off and the driver closes the door and is about to drive away, I call out "Wait! I'm getting off here." My taxi driver is a middle-aged white man seated behind me and to my left. I ask him "Do you have a <business card, in foreign language>?" I also think, hey I have to pay this guy, and ask "how much do I owe you?" He says "no, don't pay me, you'll pay next time". Instead of a business card he hands be a small piece of paper with some scribbles on it. His name is "Mihu."

DJ Critics

I'm seated at a table outside (indescript location), and I'm shuffling through papers looking for a fresh sheet with room on it for me to dream journal. I can't find any places on any of the sheets. The pieces of paper are all separate. Then I find a place and write a few words (?). There are two guys there, they are critiquing the phrases I've written in the DJ. One guy says the words have "No grammar." I am a bit offended but I know that I'm writing just key words/phrases and that they are not grammatical, but I do not want them to know it's a DJ so I keep quiet.

LUCIDD LD#292 False Awakening

I find myself lying on my side in (a) bed. I do a nose pinch and I can breathe!, I'm lucid. I feel myself lying there. Then in a second I feel a "wake up buzz" (REM Atonia ending) and I'm in the same position awake in my waking bed. [very short, but it's lucid! I'm counting it. Lucid is lucid!]

Legend

Colors: Lucid, Semi-lucid, Non-lucid
[comment from waking] in angle brackets
(comment / clarification from dreaming) in parentheses
Abbreviations: DS = dream sign, CH = childhood home, S1/S2 = sons, S/O = someone, S/A = something about, [f] = fragment, b/r = bathroom trip, Wn = waking #n, BT = bedtime, OOB = final out of bed time in morning, DO = Disembodied Observer

Summary of the Night

• BT: ~23:19, OOB: ~09:41, fitbit score: 81 (8:41 asleep, 1:41 awake, 1:45 deep, 1:23 REM), med right before bed
• Wakings:
  
  1. 00:58 b/r, no recall
  2. 03:25, b/r, no recall, basically awake until about 06:00?
  3. 06:30(?) woke from LD #191! brief but fairly clear and a bit amusing
  4. 09:41 final waking
• Drank a glass of wine in the evening with dinner. Definitely impacted sleep negatively. Long waking period, several hours, maybe dozed a bit here and there.
• all content from memory, no notes taken during the night or morning, written 20:00 the evening. Some of the details of the long near-epic have faded.

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W3: LUCIDD LD #191 Chinese Restaurant
I'm outside on a city sidewalk with a small group of colleagues, we're going to lunch, and several of them enter in to a restaurant. I follow them. Inside is a medium/large room filled with tables and people sitting at the tables eating. It is a Chinese restaurant. I'm looking for evidence that they have my favorite dishes. I'm looking at the plates on the tables, I see my colleagues sitting and eating. The food is all chopped sauteed meat with various sauces, notably red sauces. I'm walking among the tables, and I decide that the cuisine is not to my taste and I want to leave back to outside. I turn around, but there are people sitting at tables all around me, and there is no path back through the room. I'm blocked [DS!]. I try several times to squeeze past in between the chairs but there's just not room. I try several different paths and I can't find a way out. I move to the side of the room (left side with back to street entrance) along the wall where there's a couch. (I ask the staff to help me clear a path?). I half climb on the couch and I see on the ground where have to step next, two bathroom scales on top of each other. I think then that people will be able to see how much I weight and I'm a bit hesitant. I step on them and look down, one of them shows nothing notable, but the other one displays my correct waking name (slightly misspelled with graphics and rectangles in place of some letters), and I'm really surprised by this, how could this scale know my name? I get the idea it may be a dream, I do a nose pinch, and get lucid.
I'm very amused that the scale knew my name! and then I fade to awake in the same pose I fell asleep, with my arms around my wife. [Short lucid period, but I'm very strict about counting my lucids, there must be an explicit affirmation or firm knowledge of recognizing the dream state, so, "lucid is lucid!", and I'm counting it]

W4: Long near epic
Escape from shooter

Outdoors, it's some sort of adventure/thriller plot, there are (3?) of us rushing through a city park-like walkway with some trees on it, we're in a rush, I feel semi-lucid, but I decide to go along with the plot. Half-realizing it's a dream, and hearing the sound of a helicopter flying nearby, I tell one of my cohorts to "call <some guy> in the helicopter to meet us and pick us up!". Then I'm alone and trying to dodge/avoid providing a free shot from a shooter who's stationed on about the 6th floor of a large/long ~10 story building. I move quickly to the base of a large building opposite his position, all the while hoping he won't shoot me. I make my way around the back of the building on the site away from the shooter, and am on a higher level now, on sort of a platform. I do the Clark Kent action "pull open your shirt with two hands to show the Superman Logo" and decide to take off flying and attack the shooter (?).

Ordering Food in the Stadium

[these mini-scenes may be out of dream order]. I'm in a steep stadium seating area, open rows are all around with people sitting down, with a central stairway leading down. At some point I place an order for food: tacos, pad thai, and something else [This is from an incubated plan to eat these things when lucid!]. Then later, I'm walking down the stairway, and I have the order in hand in a brown paper bag. I open the bag and look down into it: I see what looks like an order of nachos (tortilla chips with melted cheese), and some blob of food that I think is the pad thai. (I'm surprised they were able to fulfill the order?). Back down at our seating area, I think something may be missing from the order that I've already paid for. I ask a waiter to explain the bill to me. He mumbles something incoherently and walks away from me. I'm still confused about the order and follow him, calling out "Hey! Answer my question. HEY, WAITER!!!" he is not responding to me and I'm getting very upset. He doesn't want to deal with me, being a "problem customer." Then, I'm wanting to walk back up the stairway, but I have to first enter through a kind of turnstyle and take a different path.

Lose the dogs, memory wipe

I'm meeting my wife L, (she asks?) where are the dogs? I was walking them, and they're not here! I have absolutely no memory whatsoever of having walked them, and I'm very upset that I've both lost the dogs and have a totally blank memory about the situation. This goes on for a while with me being totally astounded and concerned at the blank period of memory. Then somebody holds up a mobile phone for me to see, it's playing a video that shows a man bouncing crazily out of control off of walls on buildings, and I can see that this is me! I have no memory of doing this. I'm very concerned. In another scene (?), I'm indoors and there's something about a game console (?). I think perhaps that there were people who used a device against me to wipe a portion of my memory? And got me to do something?

Pulling up to CD on the street

I'm driving in a car with a guy in the front passenger seat, and I see that ChrDw (company 3) is standing on the side of the road, at a point where parking is allowed again, but his car is in the way, and so I'm waiting for him to move his car so I can park there. But my passenger then gets out of the car and moves to CD and starts talking with him. I think that CD doesn't want to talk to me [hasn't for many years in waking], so I'm hesitant about this course of action. (I think CD may be involved in the plot that wiped a portion of my memory?

Legend

Colors: Lucid, Semi-lucid, Non-lucid
[comment from waking] in angle brackets
(comment / clarification from dreaming) in parentheses
Abbreviations: DS = dream sign, CH = childhood home, S1/S2 = sons, S/O = someone, S/A = something about, [f] = fragment, b/r = bathroom trip, Wn = waking #n, BT = bedtime, OOB = final out of bed time in morning, DO = Disembodied Observer

Summary of the Night

• BT: ~23:55, OOB: ~07:37, fitbit score: 83 (6:39 asleep, 1:03 awake, 0:41 deep, 1:25 REM), med right before bed
• Wakings:
  
  1. 01:16 b/r, no recall
  2. 05:18, b/r, recall, brief MILD. << check it out, 4 hours of sleep in a row! Look maw, no wakings/pee trips!
  3. 07:37 OOB
• Long time initially falling asleep at BT as wife was reading on her phone and then settled down to sleep, sort of keeping me awake
• After a bit of recall and quick recording at waking #2, I felt drowsy enough still to fall asleep quickly. I focused quickly on relaxing completely. Did just a bit of MILD. Fell asleep pretty quickly! Fitbit shows awake only 17 min (including b/r, and summary recording in journal)
• wrote two dreams on top of each other! One is completely illegible/lost it looks like... ah, a later phrase brought one back. I remember thinking there were 3 dreams.

---

W2: Call Center
I'm in a phone call center. Banks of operators on phones arrange in several wide parallel rows. I take a call from Nazi Germany. I do not speak German, but I am pretending to know how. There are a couple of women observing me, (one is my manager?) I'm saying and thinking words, trying to make sense, but the only thing I can think of are words in <foreign language not German>.

W2: Business meeting
I'm sitting in a large room, a man (our manager?) is standing at the front berating us (me?) for not getting out changes in on time. This goes on for a while, it's hard to get a word in, I'm finally able to blurt out "I got everything checked in yesterday!" (They say, "why not earlier"?)

W2: Girl on the couch
I'm lying on a couch with a girl who's apparently my girlfriend. The couch is located on an external corner (it "turns" around the corner) between two rooms. I want to have some private "fun" with my g/f, I grab her (ahem) from outside her clothing, and pull us both around the corner so we're out of view from the first room. She tells me she doesn't want any more wine (as a gift) because she has too much of it already. I say "yes, me too, but I was planning to share it with you!"

W3: Animals at night
I'm on my deck outside my house outside the city. I'm walking towards the door into the house, when I catch a glimpse of two little dots of light in the yard of the house across the path from the deck. I do a double take and bob my head around to get a bearing on them, and I decide they are animal eyes reflecting the light. I shine a spotlight and I see a large, orange cat standing there. The longer I look, the more animals appear, all dogs and cats. I think they're all local, not wild. Then a dog jumps the fence of that yard and easily sails over my fence to land in my own yard.

W3: LUCIDD LD #290 Massive LD
Flying at LHS

I'm outside on the path to the LHS parking lot from to gate spot where the asphalt ends and the dirt trail begins. I'm standing there looking down into the valley. There are now a lot out houses there, they are very colorful. They're arranged in a nice little neighborhood. I really want a closer look, so I lean out over the hill and take off flying/gliding. There's a guy, ClnCse (company 3, previously at company I) there on my left as I take off, he's walking towards the LHS parking lot. I know he doesn't approve of me flying, so I mischievously say S/L "Hey C, don't look at me!" while I fly out over the valley and look down to appreciate the view of the houses from above.

Get Lucid

[I forgot the part in between Flying at LHS and my first strong notion of lucidity]
I'm quite sure I'm dreaming, but I nose pinch to be sure, and while there is some resistance, the air is definitely moving, woohoo I'm dreaming!

Reflecting on vividness

In in the upper hallway of CH, facing the b/r, my room is to my right. There is a table with colorful objects on top of it there in the hallway, they look like pieces of art glass, with bright orange, red, brown colors. I decide to take a moment and really reflect/take a reading on the level of vividness of the dream, since there was discussion about this recently on reddit /r/LucidDreaming. I look closely at the art glass objects, and at the scene around me. I quickly conclude that yes, this dream has vividness and clarity easily equal to (or greater than) waking experiences. (I think I touch them as well, and the sense of touch is waking-like as well?).

Checking out "my package"

I move in to my sister's room, and recall that I sometimes like to checkout what I'm packing in my pants in the dream. I pull down my pants and take my (ahem) into my hand and look at it. It looks non-waking, not familiar shape. MEO. "Time for some goals!" I think. I feel like the dream has been really long, like an hour at least, and I look at a clock on the wall to confirm this.

Fun with the fairy, mom & dad tease

I move in to my room, and I am having a sexy time encounter with a little fairly (MEO). We're on the bed that is closer to the door.

Spoiler for sexy time:

it starts with oral on me and I move to intercourse with her.

Then I hear my parents coming up the stairs. I think that this is waking life sound manifesting into the dream, that my parents are coming up the stairs in waking life [false, impossible, don't live in CH, mom passed away], and that this is an interesting phenomenon. I don't want to be discovered so I turn away from the door with the fairy underneath me. Mom & dad both come into the room, dad (standing? getting on to?) the foot of the bed (don't see him), and my mom right in front of me, leaning over, getting right down in my face. I'm trying to fake sleeping. My mom finds the fairy and is teasing me about her, I'm trying to push my mom away from me and hoping she'll go away. My dad says "You're squishing her!" (the fairy).

FA, fly through window

I wake up in the same bed in the same room from the last scene. I suspect I'm still dreaming. I do a nose pinch and I'm still dreaming, woohoo. I see my window in front of me, the blinds are closed and the room is dark-ish, but a lot of white light is coming through the window. I decide to fly / phase out through the window. I take a few steps back (do another nose pinch to confirm I'm dreaming?) then run at the window and launch myself at it horizontally arms out in front of me. I move through the window, but very slowly, like it's made of some think liquid. I come out the other side...

"FryingMan" bus, Red River Valley w/girl

... and I'm outside in daylight, there is a long white bus just in front of me, perpendicular to me, right its front to my right. There is blue/green-ish text along the side of the bus. It says "FryingMan <something something>", several times, and each time "FryingMan" is misspelled slightly, in a way that I find highly amusing and laugh out loud. Like, "FryingMauk" or "FryiAuMan", incorrect letters inserted into the middle of the word. I decide to board the bus. There are a couple of girls walking by and I take them along with me. We all sit down right next to the driver. I start singing "Red River Valley" with the girl closest to me. She's following my lead, as she doesn't know the words. I sing the raunchy "boy scout" version: "Then come sit on my face if you love me.....do not hasten to give me a screw....but remember the Red River Valley...and the cowboy who loved you so true." I'm watching her face while we're singing. I notice she has sharp little teeth, like a puppy. I'm "interacting" with the girl while we're singing (hand), there is a woman back behind us a bit to my left, she looks disapprovingly at the scene. I don't care and keep singing and "interacting".

The scene fades and I'm really happy that I've had a great, long LD, first like that in a long time.

Legend

Colors: Lucid, Semi-lucid, Non-lucid
[comment from waking] in angle brackets
(comment / clarification from dreaming) in parentheses
Abbreviations: DS = dream sign, CH = childhood home, S1/S2 = sons, S/O = someone, S/A = something about, [f] = fragment, b/r = bathroom trip, Wn = waking #n, BT = bedtime, OOB = final out of bed time in morning

Summary of the Night

• Wakings:
  
  1. 01:07 b/r, no recall, (maybe chess position?)
  2. 03:38, b/r, recall
  3. 05:57 b/r, BTS challenge, recall. BTS: removed blanket, got ultra relaxed, had to totally blank mind. Felt a transition into sleep, a sort of "deepening" of mind and body, remained calm, kept my mind empty instead of trying for a separation/WILD, where I often wake up. LD, good recall, Increased vividness and presence. Make it back to sleep, want to sleep at least until 07:30, usual planned wake time
  4. 07:57
• BT: ~22:45, OOB: ~07:57

---

W1: Vague Chess Positions
I'm analyzing a chess position.

W2: Island Drama
[Came back to me in delving, originally forgotten, pursued weak vague feelings/flashes of content ] Backyard of CH, dark, evening, there is a quadracycle there. I move past it and then I'm scaling a barren, open rock hill, long, not that steep. I look behind me (?) and the guy from the quadracycle (Quadracycle Man, QM) is following me (?). In a house with some guy and the QM comes to the door. I'm dressed as QM's long lost girlfriend. I go out to greet him, and I seriously wonder if he will be fooled with my disguise, even if it's been a very long time since he saw her, I'm sure I'm a different height.

W3: Return To Company "R"
The Initial Gift

I'm in an office with my manager RbMls from company "R". He's offering me a gift of one of our graphics cards that I worked on. It is a single board computer, really just a circuit board, slightly bendy and flexible. As he hands it to me he clips a couple jumpers on the upper left corner of the board in order to put it into a working configuration. I want to ask him what all the different jumpers do, but I don't. I'm looking at it and wondering how to use it, looking for familiar connectors (USB, HDMI), and I end up finding a couple. I'm talking with them and while I 'm talking I'm nervously plucking whiskers out of my beard and dropping them to the floor. I explain that this is a nervous habit of mine.

Bathroom Scandal and Escape

I pick up all my pulled beard pickings, which has become a rather large pile in the middle of the room, little short black slightly curly whiskers, and scooped them up and held them to my chest, I couldn't get them all in one scoop so I had to lean back down and try to get the rest with my free hand. I don't want to leave a mess of these, it's embarrassing. I take these to the bathroom to throw away, which is just off a hallway just outside of this office. I enter the very small bathroom, which is just a toilet stall and a sink with just enough room for one person to stand, and while I reach for the trash can to throw away the whiskers, I hear the unmistakable sound of someone peeing (sounds like a woman) in the stall, and then the woman comes out and confronts me and I feel embarrassed to be in there. She gets very upset and accuses me of being inappropriate for being in there with her while she was peeing, and I get defensive and say that the door wasn't locked or anything, there was no way for me to know that anybody was in there. She continues ranting and I make a hasty exit back to the office I started in. I feel like I need to get out of here, fast. I make my way back out into the hallway, trying to avoid attention from an adjacent break room (where I think the woman may be now), I don't want her to see me again, and see the main central staircase, a wide rectangular-winding staircase leading (up?) and down. I start down the stairs. At the top of the stairs, I'm in a large open area with dark/twilight lighting, I see all the way to the external wall of the building, where there is a large long red horizontal line light that is part of the decoration of the building and the brand of the company, and I have a sense of deja vu of being here before. I'm hurrying down the stairs, and my feet are moving amazingly fast, and I remember [false] being here before and quickly skittling down the stairs like I am now. The stairway is now a long straight (not winding any more) stairway.

With the StfPdl Twins

At the next to the last landing before the ground floor, I come across StfPdl (my company "R" office mate and "spam" cohort) and his twin [false] standing at the top of the escalator leading to the ground floor. [I don't remember what we talked about]. SP points out how this area has really grown, he points out all the new offices/businesses, I'm looking down a long corridor still here on the 2nd floor level, which is a huge open high-ceilinged atrium [DS], and I don't really remember much about it, but I'm not really impressed, the walls of the business corridor are all plywood, doesn't look all that interesting, I say "I only really remember being in the president's office" which I know is located at the near corner of this business hallway. I look around and notice things in this area [as a sort of floating DO], workspaces with tools?

Following the Woman (LD #289)

[New location, transition not noticed]. I'm in a lobby area of a building on a city street with glass walls [DS]. There's a woman here that I find attractive, she's heading out a door among a throng of other people. I walk out after her. Daylight, city urban environment. (I "will" people to disappear leaving me alone with her?). I come up behind her and start to feel bold, and I'm pretty sure I'm dreaming, and I do a few nose pinches to be sure. The air is moving but there is resistance so I repeat a few times. Since air is moving I conclude I'm dreaming, and I direct the woman into a nearby office building on to a stairway, turn her to face me, and I wake up/transition and lose lucidity.

Back to the Office

I'm back in the room where I started in "The Initial Gift", a woman comes up to me, and gets right in my face and says "Yeah, this is the guy that walked in on the woman in the bathroom, what were you thinking!?" I immediately get very defensive [DS] and raise my voice, and with a raise voice exclaim, "Well WHAT WOULD YOU DO? The door wasn't locked, there was NO WAY TO KNOW anybody was in there!!" I feel like I am being treated extremely unfairly. Someone says "you're being put on the <???> list". Then the manager (president) is dealing with me and reading something and seems to be approving, like because I wrote this (my resignation letter for the last time I worked there?), he is going to forgive me the bathroom scandal. He's nodding his head in agreement to what he's reading. Then he takes out a pen and starts correcting/editing my resignation letter. I look at it, I see some handwriting, but don't really make anything out clearly. Then he launches into a speech about the benefits of the company, typical business blah blah blah "we're leveraging out innovation" or crap like that, then I realize he's making a pitch for me to rejoin the company! I look at him and recognize him [false?]. He's someone I knew from before at the company, like an engineer, but now he's dressed up in a suit and has gained weight. He's not making eye contact with me but looking off to my right.

W4: Lying to the Airlines
[something earlier? Definitely more content, forgotten]
Sitting in a chair waiting for my turn, inside some office, my back is against the door and I think about reaching back and sliding the lock shut so no one else can come in. I think I'm glad that I made it in, and that this door (which has a wrought iron decorative grill?) will be closed and locked by a guard at any moment, meaning I'll be the last one to get service today.

At the counter registering for a flight with my female companion. A female travel agent is sitting ahead and to the right at a desk. She is an acquaintance of ours and she will be getting the commission for our flight. I tell the ticketing agent, "My name is Thomas. T-H-O-M-A-S." I know this is not my real name. Then I realize .. oops, this is an airline flight , so they will be checking passports and that they match the name on the ticket, so I can't give them a fake name. I'm at a loss for words of how to explain this without getting in trouble. I rehearse several different possibilities but end up just saying "uh, no, actually, my name is <name>." I'm very glad we've chosen the proper form of travel for the first leg of our journey, or else it would have been 5-6 hours longer.

First LD in about 6 months, and first DEILD chain in about 8 years, the DV comp has worked its magic yet once more!

A terrible night of sleep, bedtime around 00:00, woke several times, and about 04:30 I was just up, so I decided to use this as a time for relaxation and perhaps to get a WILD/DILD

WBTB: [2]

At some point around 06:30 my wife & dog left the room and I was able to more fully relax. It took a lot of diligence to keep relaxing. as I was very alert.

After a while, I started seeing images coming in to focus, very bright clear focus, like a room or a corridor. I could see my blankets through my closed eyes. I started thinking about how I might enter the dream more fully. Images of objects came in to bright, clear focus, like a bowl or a teapot/flowerpot, and it was rotating around its axes so I could get a clear look at it. It came into super sharp focus, and I just enjoyed the visualization, things like that are rare for me. I manipulated it a bit, adding flowers. Later after it vanished it occurred to me that it may have been a dream, a "light WILD," but then again it could have just been super vivid hypnogogic imagery. But I don't think so, my hypnogogic images are all just vague colorful blobs, and this was a fully realized visual scene.

+ NLD [1]: in BIL's house. There I am in a room in a house, a guy is sitting at a piano, it is my Brother-In-Law M. I see the notes appear on a piece of paper in front of me as he plays, and I hear them together with seeing them appear on the paper. Then I realize it's M, and he's playing on an electronic piano, some sort of cool digital piano where the notes appear on a remote screen as you play them on the keyboard. The sound is very electronic and imitation, not like a digital piano at all, and I think this is odd because he and my sister are both musically inclined. I say "hey you changed your piano," the used to have an upright analog piano, and again I think this is weird that they replaced that awesome piano with for this tinny sounding electronic thing. He crosses the room and vigorously pours himself a glass of wine, sloshing it messily into the glass and some spills to the floor.

Things fade and I realize I'm looking at a computer screen with characters on it. Scene changes to a library (?) looking at a computer.

+ I am outside a building on a 2nd floor balcony/landing with an external entrance door, and I open a door and look in to a short, empty hallway. This is my place, I realize, [false], where my renter lives, and I realize that I shouldn't just barge in on him without prior notice, so I close the hallway door and turn around. I'm standing on a high balcony over a bare courtyard below, get the urge to lean out and fly, realize this means

I'm dreaming [10], and I lean out, spread my arms and begin to fly [5]. I'm moving slowly, and I will myself to move faster, I reach behind me with my right arm, and imagine I have an "Iron Man" flight gauntlet on and will it to propel me forwards faster. I fly around a corner still with tall buildings around me, zig zagging right then left, and I see a large open area in front of me with a bunch of people walking around on the ground. I land and the scene fades and I feel myself awake in bed...

I remain clam and quiet and a scene returns (DEILD #1 [2]). I'm standing outdoors in daylight in an area similar to where I was before, and there is a sign of some sort, like an advertising banner, a couple of yards square, in front of me, and I will my dream arms to appear and reach out and pound my hands on the sign as a form of stabilization [1]. I feel my arms are a bit heavy/unresponsive and not "real" but pounding on this sign helps bring me more fully into the dream scene.

A woman walks by, and I "interact" with her [2]. Scene fades....

I figure I'm on a roll, and that the dream will soon return if I'm patient, and it does...

I'm back in the large outdoor area with people walking by [(DEILD #2 [2]). There is a particularly hot, built, middle-Eastern looking woman approaching me, wearing a white evening dress, I think she's perhaps a waitress at a fancy restaurant, and I walk up to her, and "interact" with her for a moment , but not giving her much attention, making up some BS talking points like I'm asking her to get some order in order to "fit in" to the scene, and quickly leave her and move forwards. It is sort of like an outdoor restaurant, there is a tall counter with a female and male bartender standing there, I grab a flute of champagne and drink it [5]. There is not much flavor and the glass itself seems really light like it's empty. I walk a bit further along the bar and reach for another glass while saying "fix me a drink!" and it also, too, feels weightless. A bit further on towards the right-end of the counter/bar is a really tall barman, looking very dour/serious, and I ask him if his name wasn't "xxx" (forgot). "No," he answers, and mutters "Robin." "Ah, sorry" I say, and tell him he's really tall (he is) [DS] and I do a RC (score?) nose pinch and of course can breathe. I sit at the bar there is a group of women sitting there all clumped close together, I reach out and "interact" with one for a while, who turns out to be older but hey it's all good, and ask her to "interact" with me a bit, she starts and the scene fades...

Figuring this is one of those once-every-many-years massive awesome DEILD chain, all I have to do is wait and think about the scene and it will continue, and sure enough....it does.

I'm standing in a small office / hallway. [(DEILD #3 [2]), I move forwards. There is a low/narrow door / gate in front of me and with a gesture and a thought I blow it open with TK. [5]. I move forwards past this and the office opens into a room with a lot of comforters and chais and sofas to the left. I turn to the left into the area looking for more DCs, and as I turn and move, the area extends further and further into the distance right in front of my eyes. It is now a sort of outdoor area with a bunch of DCs milling around, and I move forwards into this area. There are a number of DCs here and I'm trying to figure out which one to "interact" with and decide on one woman. We move to an area with a bunch of doors that lead to "privacy" areas, and we enter the last one and close the door. The door has a glass window on it so I want to move farther back for more privacy, it's a narrow corridor that opens into a tiny bathroom with a toilet. I remove some of her clothing, get a quick peek, but the scene then fades...

Being somewhat displeased at the loss of the dream, I resolve to remain still and return and continue. In a moment, I'm back in the toilet area in the "privacy hall" [(DEILD #4 [2]) but the woman has transformed into a man who is "ready for action" and some other dirty, sort of shifty looking guy is approaching down the corridor, asking "What are you doing with that guy?!". Thankfully, the scene quickly fades....


Figuring that I want to quickly jot down some notes about these dreams before I forgot them, I opened my eyes, got up, and did so, and started the day.

One of the night things about being a LD practitioner, is that those unpleasant long bouts of insomnia can sometimes have a silver lining!

bedtime 01:30 Super fun night with wife

Pretty good recall and YAY a lucid, for such a late bedtime. Quite vivid first dream. The DILD was low awareness, no thought of doing comp task/goal.

+ beach shorts, clear ocean water [DS], CrLee [DS], band/instrument long scene

[waking, time unknown]

+ LUCIDD #278 DILD in corridor with CrLee [DS], know I'm dreaming, talk with DCs about the dream? Scene begins fading, I move to stabilize, look through window of door into dark room, the flat black color I see promotes the fade so I start moving again to stimulate connection to the dream, the fade continues and I move back to the original part of the corridor and do a spin to try to save the LD, but the fade continues, I think I may end up in a new place... and I "wake" and lift up my sleep mask to see where I am, still dreaming but non-lucid
--------
In room with kids, they are arranged in a strict hierarchy like a church, a group of kids with an adult are visible walking past outside through windows, I move on and in a dark/twilight [DS] area, talk to people about the color coded boards with numbers, which mean which group of kids is in which location/activity, the group I was asking about the answer came that they were doing Tai Chi. I ask about another group and the answer came "drone field." I ask "oh you mean that large field over in that direction?" "Yes." Move on to very large room, party, people playing with a bouncy/floating large object balloon made up of many concentric objects, a red part was in the middle and we're wondering what it is, get closer and it's made from red rubber that kid's playground balls are made of but in an irregular shape, not sure if we should take it out, put it back in the structure, move on. Group of people sitting at table, come across old boy scout friends, I think the Gre. family will the first one to have grandkids in our troop. Move on to next room, someone says "they like to drink pea juice," young people are sitting at long picnic style cafeteria tables [DS], room mostly empty, someone says it's not really pea juice but pea soup, "Lingemans," I see briefly a white box carton with Lingeman's pea soup on the label. I want to get to a cabinet but two girls are sitting at the table right in front of it so blocking access, move on to the right of them past a table with food, there's a container with animal cookies, I take one, small piece, bite/eat it, moving circling to the right back towards entrance, wake up.



08:34

WBTB

OOB 09:30

early:
+ hideaway by the sea: transforming door locks, secretary, no office equipment (file folders, trash can liners), she says don't bother with the liners and I imagine people just emptying the cans and crumpled up papers

+ lunch in cafeteria, big bread, long fries, sauce with beige colored ants crawling all over it

WBTB
[7th-hour waking]

+ ST by trailer

+ car broken into, driving with no shoes; ST in hallway

+ mirror room that doesn't reflect (was removed?); ST

+ CH bathroom w/strange door and no toilet but hole in floor that flushes itself

+ plane diving towards sea

+ ST at pool


+ [LUCIDD #275] in room with "teammates" talking about this being a shared lucid dream and flying over blue ocean water, we take off and land in a number of different places


+ [LUCIDD #276] in mall sitting on automated toy horse and group of young people come by who also want on the horse, I say "I'm lucid again, you know!" interact with one DC [frisky time], then decide to do hand through wall, "WHOA!" they say when I stick my hand into the white wall halfway up the forearm, I take it out and tap the wall showing that it's still solid, then more frisky time with another one from the group who shrinks, and I transform her back up to human size, scene fades

+ [LUCIDD #277] [DEILD] I maintain dreamy mind and I return to a dream scene in CH home sister's room, I cause some roses to grow on a bare plant in a vase in front of my eyes, 3-4 flowers of different types and shapes and colors appear, walk in hallway to find place where can do walk through big solid object, reject bathroom, reject hall wall leading to my old bedroom, decide on closed door to parents' room, try to walk through, "there is no door", but instead as my legs power forwards they knock into the door, opening it (but as two halves of a 2-sided door, each side opening to their side, like the swinging double doors in an old Western saloon), people are in the room talking, there's a painting of a "live" girl there, ST with the painting [LOL], I hear my mom's voice and think I should turn and talk to her but keep going at it with the painting until I wake up

Attempt #2 -- long, vivid, stable, super high res, "more real than waking," epic LD.



Wow. Wow wow wow. 4mg galantamine and 600mg Alpha GPC taken at the 3hrs waking....led to a WILD (in every sense of the world) lucid romp through FAs, more vivid than waking, ultra-stable, high-res, super-realistic, multi-scene, long LD (felt like an hour, definitely 30 minutes or more), and follow-on vivid non-lucids in later sleep cycles. This is the 2nd time I've tried it this year (the first being Nov 2, about 3 weeks ago).
After taking the supps, it took me somewhere around 30-60 minutes to fall asleep again. I spent the time relaxing body and mind with the idea of falling asleep unconsciously and having a DILD in subsequent sleep cycles. I took it early because of past issues with falling back asleep and I wanted to make sure I fell asleep again quickly after taking the supps. Instead, after that timeframe mentioned, I felt the familiar deepening feeling of sleep, and then WHAM! I was hit with a wave of vibrations the like of which I've never experienced before. I'm not unfamiliar with REM atonia sensations, I've felt vibrations many times before. But these were massive, strong, and accompanied by a sensation like my heart was stopping. I even sort of (maybe in a dream) half-raised up in bed to shake off the vibrations because they were so unpleasant. But I lay back down, they continued for a bit, then subsided, and I tried to imagine entering a scene. I detected slight movement in the visual field, and I tried to imagine a scene on a vehicle, and I shortly appeared in a bus or train moving past a moving landscape. It faded in a few seconds and I thought "wow that sucks, all that time and such a short dream", ... and then woke in a FA on a bus non-lucid, and the dream continued non-lucid for a while, then after failing to fly, I did a nose pinch state test, and got fully lucid, and began the lucid adventure!

Dream contents, and following non-lucids TBD (20 minutes of voice recording recall, it's going to take 2 hours to transcribe!)

+ LUCIDD #274 after WILD entry (noted above), I feel myself awake lying on a seat on a bus. I feel that I'm pressing up against a person seated to the left of me. I sit up and I'm seated in the 2nd row on the right side of a traditional bus layout against the window. There are sections of a newspaper around me, looks like a Sunday paper, there are colorful sections including a comics section, I move them section by section to the now empty left side of the seat. I create quite a tall pile of these papers, trying to keep them in order (I wonder if this is the newspaper of the two guys sitting in front of me?). My group (2-3 people, including [1st] wife?) get up and it's time for us to get off, I stand up and try to shoulder a backpack, it's heavy with lumpy objects making it uncomfortable on the back, as I stand up some cards/papers fall out and I see that they are very important family sentimental papers, like kid's birthday cards to me, I'm concerned that if I get off the bus I will lose some of them. I pick them up and as I move past the 1st row or seats on the right a guy seated there says "that's what you get for having kids." I respond "just wait, it'll be your turn soon." We get off the bus.

Sort of a vague scene with a woman and man, both of which have a cloudy left eye (like glaucoma), the idea is that they're from the moon?

With the group who got off the bus, standing near a busy urban/suburban road, I recognize this as "Stevens Creek" or Santa Clara and say so. We're then in a mall parking lot, very large, there's a car ahead, a woman and kids are moving to it, and the kids run circles around the car. The car is parked back up against a drop off of about 3 feet, I move to it and stand over it looking out over the lower level of the parking lot. I have the urge to fly/glide [DS], but I think I won't fly in this case. I decide to try anyway, and sort of launch myself off the edge, and fall directly down and hit the pavement, getting a bit scratched up on the asphalt. I stand up, and do a nose pinch, and I can breathe. I'm really astonished by this and check a few more times. Yes, I can breathe, I'm dreaming! I'm amazed, it is so vivid, clear, bright, high-res, so waking like, nothing to indicate dream in the quality of the experience.

I notice a young woman clerk entering a store ahead of me. Brunette, attractive. I move in to the store and see displays of lingerie. She is continuing to the back of the store and I follow her with the idea of getting a fashion show from her in a back dressing room. I lead her in, it is a tiny closet space just barely big enough for one person to stand in, not even move, with us there together it's incredibly crowded. I tell her I want to see her undressed. She resists and says that she can't today. I then counter that "now, it's tomorrow, so you can." I keep trying to close the curtains but can't (someone outside keeps opening them?). I give up and we leave the room, as I walk past her colleagues seated at desks I sense disapproval, and I defend myself by saying "I didn't force her, I just invited her, she came in on her own." A male colleague seated at a desk, with a bread/mustache comments "you're a real piece of work: <accusation #1, 'A">, <something about a backpack>, <some third thing>". I feel these are unfustified charges and a bit confused by them, I'm trying to determine if accusation #1 is true or not, I think not. I didn't understand about the backpack, I asked to repeat that, he repeated again something about a backpack (with the idea of murder?), and says "this information comes straight from heaven." I look at him for a second then leave the store.

I enter the neighboring store, it is a small front office, with the sign "Steak and (soda?)" on the wall and a door to enter further inside, I don't want steak so I leave again.

I enter the next store, it is a Vietnamese/Asian (massage? beauty salon?), it is packed with people, mostly young pretty Asian women, some plain, (dressed in white?), I think there is a beauty/modeling contest going on here today. I'm looking at their faces, most have brown eyes. I try to enter deeper into the store through the crowd, but a manager blocks the entrance saying no one can go in. I turn back to the entrance and try to push my way out through the crowd, there's a petite woman in jeans in front of me and I give her a push on her butt to clear a space to leave, she doesn't complain just moves forwards. A security guy blocks the door and says there's no access out that way, I ignore him and leave saying my car is parked right outside. Outside, I don't see my car, I'm looking around for it. A bit farther away I see a car that may have once been mine but has been heavily modified, I hear a group of young guys sniggering behind me, I turn and look at them, I think they probably pranked me by transforming my car and moving it to a new parking spot.

I move back into the open area of the parking lot, between a couple of taller buildings to the left and right, 3-4 stories, past a group of young men who are hanging out talking. I look at their faces, some are slightly distorted, they ignore me. I decide to fly, try a quick superman take-off, it doesn't work. The dream is super vivid and waking realistic and stable the entire time. I try a frog swim and gain a bit of altitude, but it's slow going.

I fly past (on my right) a restaurant lounge, with a sign that reads "Beef Wellerman", and I see through the glass walls [DS] that inside are people wrapped in human-side "blankets" made of giant cooked steaks, all throughout the restaurant, 10-20 people wrapped in beef blankets.

I wake in my bed, it's dark, I'm lying on my left side (the side I went to sleep on after taking the galantamine), I suspect a FA, nose pinch, I can breathe, I'm still dreaming. I stand up quickly, throwing off the covers. I get a glimpse of my [1st?] wife lying in bed on my right, I immediately turn towards the window, which is closed by curtains. I see on the floor a pair of eyeglasses, and wonder if these are mine. I pick them up. They have a bright thing brass wire frame and on the right earpiece is a 2-inch length in the shape of a corkscrew. I think these are not mine. I part open the curtains with two hands and look at the window: it is made up of small (6 inch by 8 inch rectangular) blocks of glass held by thin, 1-inch wide strips of dark brown painted wood. The windows are locked with padlocks. I want to go out and so I pull open the left pane, it opens, and I look outside into an open courtyard, like a motel swimming pool courtyard. There are people there, a group of kids. I go down and interact with the people there. A mother there offers to bring another of her kids to me, one that can generate cinnamon (bread?) if you touch her in a certain way. I do this (wanting the cinnamon), and wake up slightly in bed doing that movement. A nose pinch shows
I'm awake.

Several vivid non-lucids follow, will record later.

LD #273 last night, 3 weeks since last LD. That's a lot better than the 2 months since the prior one!

I've begun in earnest the Four Foundational Practices as taught in the new 2022 edition of The Tibetan Yogas of Dream and Sleep. Frequently all throughout the day I "wake myself from the dream of distraction," increase clarity and presence, and (1) recognize the dream-like nature of all experience, and (2) reaction to experience, trying as best I can to make this recognition right when the experience/reaction arises. Before bed I (3) review the day, giving another chance to realize the dream-like nature of experience, for those that I may have missed during the day, and set strong intent for recalling dreams and having lucid dreams. (4) in the morning I review the dreams of the night, and if not lucid, recognize that I did dream, but did not recognize the dream as dream while within it, and set intent to notice (get lucid) in future dreams, and set strong intent to continue the practice throughout the day.

I'm also dabbling a bit in the beginnings of the night practices, placing awareness in the throat chakra of the central channel, promoting strong peacefulness.

earliest:
+ I'm putting on a pair of keds, white with a red swoop stripe, lower, flat sole, and the socks are very very low, just to the level of the top of the shoe, I'm wondering if these are good for running even though they are flat soled

mid:
+ gym loading a bar with two red 5kg weights

+ big long dream multiple scenes and FORGOT. Delved and Delved and Delved but just couldn't get it back. Sucks because I spent a lot of time reviewing it during the waking in order to burn it into memory. Lesson: RECORD KEYWORDS DURING WAKINGS!

later:

+ TV park playing ball game over fence far low corner, throws back squash ball but too big heavy for squash, turns into a large (baseball sized) blueberry, I take a bite and see the purple/green color inside, then talking with two other groups about competing access to cook Thanksgiving turkeys there in the cooker on that level, only one can cook at a time, walk to mid level and join a group at a table, this is the table where the pelple have come to avoid those from the other group, in front of a young woman I see my pack of SF Cable car playing cards, I gather them up and take them back to the lower level. Back on the mid-level a group of kids are playing a prank on their friend: they're soaking his mask in Visine. I wonder if this will hurt the eyes of the pranked guy when he puts this on.

+ outdoors, (in vicinity of CH?) narrow roads packed with parked cars, some large/long trucks have driven there and are trying to back up out of there. It's hard because the streets are so narrow. I'm standing then at an intersection with the street running from my right and turning the corner to the right in front of me, about a 110 - degree turn. The truck is backing up pretty quickly, there's a git in a pickup truck sitting right at the corner, as the large truck backs up around the corner, I hear a small sound of impact. After the truck passes I move to stand in the intersection looking at the pickup truck and I see that it has lost its front passenger side external side view mirror, the truck must have clipped it when it passed. The driver of the pickup is there hovering around his truck (don't really see him)?

(I see on the left side of the intersection my dog F and wife L? Tell them to look out for the truck?)

(Walk down the street and turn to the left?), then I'm indoors with son S1, we're walking through musem-like displays, it's low lighting, there are large paintings/posters of attractive women (in punk rock outfits?), (then this transitions to...), I'm remembering a show in New Orleans?

+ LD flying over ocean coast, taco shack
I'm standing in a (musem?) room looking at a (painting/window?) over an outdoor scene and I decide to fly through the window/wall into the scene and it works, I'm flying, and I repeat with exhilaration "I'm DREAMING! I'M DREAMING!", so happy to be lucid again. I'm fairly high (50 -100 feet) above the ground flying along an uneven colorful coastline that bends to the right (water on the left), at first the scene is clear but cartoony, then it sort of restarts and I see the water and it is bright, sunlit, green, and totally crisply vivid and waking realistic. I'm ecstatic at the beautiful view and so happy to be flying again in a dream. I look ahead over the land and notice a small building/shack, I decide this is a taco restaurant and I fly towards it and land in front of it. I try to enter but the entrance has shrunk in size and is like turning the pages of a book like curtains, I keep turning them but can't get a clear entrance. I announce "OK, then, just give me tacos!" and instantly I see a plate of two large hard-shell tacos in front of me, with a good portion of a brown taco meat mixture. I take them to a neighboring round table and sit at about 5 o'clock near the wall of the taco shack, and begin to eat. They are crunch and delicious. The waitress comes by and says "it's lucky for you that you knew to ask for the 2-taco cola special," and I'm sort of amazed because I didn't know about any such thing. Some more plates of tacos appear but they are sort of abstract looking. I see that some people, a young woman, and maybe another young woman, have joined me across the table, sitting at about 12-o'clock and 9-o' clock. I think this must mean that it's a public table open to anybody. As I eat the tacos and feel the crunchiness in my mouth, the scene fades...

...and I reappear at the table, but non-lucid. The table is now fully packed with young college students all around, and we're chatting about where's the best tacos, this place being a good one. (I think I'm in Austin?)

bedtime 22:45

waking with recall: 05:20
didn't fall asleep again, but got close
got up 07:20 (missed 07:00 alarm)

+ (newly back to) work at company "N" [DS! DS! DS! Need to catch these! VERY common!] office #1
Long meandering dull rows of work stations, not even cubes, "cubelets" or just rows of computers all next to each other. Everybody is at their desk, nobody is anywhere else. It's very strict here. I go to the kitchen / common area, want to check it out, and a very fat large security woman comes and scolds me (and others there?) that we need to get back to work. Nobody here moves from their seats during the day, apparently.

In the kitchen area I see a video game arcade area, 5-6 machines (cabinet size) are there and some people are mulling around there playing them. I see pinball! I love pinball. I look more hoping to see an "old-time" pinball, without all the modern stuff, and I see on there on the right! Just a few bumpers and trap holes on the playing field. The machine is standing perpendicular to my view, I'm on its right side, I walk up to it, it's right up against other machines and there's a guy standing right there so I have to push through the gap to get in front of the machine. As I walk by, I slap the right bumper button a few times to see if it works, and I notice that it does. I get to the front of the machine, and start playing, a ball is in play, and I start manipulating the bumpers. I follow the ball around and skillfully trap and hit the ball with the bumpers, aiming for key features. I do pretty well and keep the ball in play for a while. Once I get the ball through a chute all the way back up to the top, I love it when I can manage that happening. It really feels like I'm playing the game! [no sound I think?]

+ Interlude dream in between office #1 and office #2?
[forgotten details] there's a guy jumping from one tall building to another, as he jumps to the other building he catches on a hanging wire (sideways, like draped between two windows far apart, sagging from gravity in the middle). Then the view changes to me watching him from inside a room in the other building. The man is manipulating two electrical wires to generate a high-voltage electrical attack against the (thieves?) inside the room, it will happen when he brings the wires together.

(I'm inside the room? People are inside? I walk from one room to another?)

+ office #2
I'm back in the office. This time the cubes are laid out differently and are more like cube with semi-high walls around them. I'm at the end of (or standing outside in the corridor) my cube looking into my cube. I notice the amount of space, it's not too small, I see the carpet on the floor, I look at it and think there's enough room to lie down there (and do yoga?).

Then my cube seems like a large closet or enclosed bed with clothes hung all around the walls. I'm sitting on the bed on the ground (perhaps elevated?) Very small, meter square perhaps. I see jeans and other clothes (socks? shirts) hanging up, I move some of them around? I think the employer will not like to see these clothes hanging here if they open the door and look inside.

I'm standing in my cube and looking out past the far "door" (opening) to the neighboring cubes across the hallway. There are two, one immediately to the left and one immediately to the right, their mutual wall is centered in the center of my view and centered on my cube opening. I look for the name plates and read the names, they are both female names. I notice office equipment in each: printers, desks, etc. In the right cube there is a young woman employee working. She is sitting at her desk with her right side facing me. An HR representative (also female) is sitting behind her talking to her. The discussion is about the company's coverage for various anti-viral, anti-bacterial medications, the HR rep is going on for a while about the possible coverage. The employee eventually says, exasperated, "I don't want to take any (stupid?) anti-viral medication!". She stands up. I recognize her as a former colleague from my 2nd job many years ago. She has slimmed down (much slimmer than in waking) a lot and is very attractive. She looks at me and our eyes meet, we recognize each other, I raise my right hand and "wave" at her using a "wave to a baby" motion by bending only the upper half of all my fingers (sort of a "finger wave"), the same wave I used to young children in waking. (She says "let's meet later"?). I notice her clothing is very loose and flowing about her body, with a large arm opening allowing a generous view of her breasts and torso, I expect to see her naked underneath the clothing but while I see the form of her breasts they seem to be covered in some thin material.

+[f] motorcycle guy? Some guy is riding a motorcycle, and mentions getting some expensive champagne?

key summaries, detail later

Tortuous night of not being able to fall asleep after an early (3.5 - 5 hr?) waking.
Got up moved to other room sat quietly. Slowly got a bit more sleepy. Back to bed. Relaxed and comfortable, but can't make the transition to sleep, remain in a light sleep or very relaxed awake phase. Every time the transition to deeper sleep approaches I can't make it over to the other side. This happens repeatedly for probably 1.5 - 2 hours. At one point get a (REM atonia probably) all-body buzz. Get some weak images that I interact with a bit but don't solidify. Then the following happens...

+ [WILD entry?] tumbling / sliding down a rectangular staircase [DS], thinking "this is an innovative dream entry method," and thought it was quite fun at that!

+ table with food colleagues after party: first cheese, then chips, then, (sushi?) fish, then see container with noodle dish and grab that

+ JH (president company "N") has a skin condition, the doctor is lifting large scales of skin off of JH's hands and forearms, while JH is talking to himself wondering if he can get $860 million for his home. I think it's ridiculous for him to be worrying about that, he's rich enough already.

+ Approach outside-of-city home. I see the green fence has been tampered with and some parts moved aside. I think this means thieves have entered. With this thought I see more evidence of fence tampering. Look into house, see computer devices inside, try to see if anything's missing. Old printer, what's that doing there? Looks like stuff's been stolen, perhaps including my laptop. I'm stumbling through the backyard wallowing in emotions about how horrible this is. Unless.... <RC: nose pinch>... AH! This is a dream!

(Try to remember TOTS tasks, can't remember anything but elevator and I don't want to try that one again before the others)

(Many "adult" interactions....goes on for quite a while)

Toy on the table, ask the "owner" to do some DC magic and summon what I want. He doesn't. I imagine touching a part of a small object farther back on the desk will work. It doesn't. I then turn and walk back into the room searching for what I want.

Young, elegant, beautiful woman in 18th century dress. She's a bit reluctant, says ("I have a flight to catch" (?) ... "we had that time on the mountainside.." (like, that was it, we're finished). I dare her to get frisky with me right here on the table in front of everyone in the room. This gets her interested, things get going, and ...


... fade to awake. Stunning LD. Super vivid, stable, clear, long, immersive. Definitely top 10 of all time, and a candidate for best ever!

+ earliest dream working out in the gym there was a strange exercise device a cable that runs around the floor up to the ceiling at an angle a slope the idea is that you run really hard maybe with a harness on up this cable forwards and then you run hard backwards so it's a leg exercise done after at some typical gym benches with dumbbells and there are some women and there's a discussion about the difference between people who are experienced in the gym and people who are novices and I think I'm saying


... that the experienced people are able to basically do more with less space around them

+ a theme with a woman, maybe Lena, whom I'm inviting for coffee and a little pastry I'm inviting her to a place that's not far away it shouldn't take too long and it's not the same as I'm going for a full pastry

+ there is a scene of looking at a building across the street on in a cityscape, it's a several story building I'm talking to somebody maybe about [country] and saying then one of the things I wish that I had done was learned to smoke and I think there are cigarettes large like several meter long cigarettes placed vertically at distances around the top of the building and maybe I'm saying "or you would have to jump ?" the next thing I see is that people jumping from like a windows those and going towards the pavement I can see them there's a group's large groups of people 5, 10, 15 all falling vertically down towards the ground, and I'm thinking about how their legs would break when they hit the ground and I could see that their legs were catching on the window sills I'm being sort of tossed around

+ another scene I am looking at 2 black tubes Seems to be outside and these tubes are held together perpendicularly by a clamp and they have to do with a computer coding problem or a solution to a problem like one of them is the code and the 2nd tube represents the input or output stream and I start investigating I'm looking at the objects that are coming out of the output stream and I'm supposed to use this to I guest reverse engineer what the program is doing and it's a little tricky because it's basically water and bits of rope and other things that can come out of a fairly narrow typical garden hose like tube I'm sense not making out any of it I'm thinking about where is the documentation and there is a piece of paper On the ground to the left which is from the operating manual for this program and then there's a man I guess who wrote this manual I may a see him at this time I have a visual of him in his younger days and he had curly tight curly hair and which was already graying at that time so well that makes me think he was older . He says that he can print out the manual and he says the number of the manual like 177 something like that the number is not clear in my mind and I'm following maybe this guy Now across in irrigation ditch or frozen river, maybe a marsh with flattened grasses he goes across 1st and I'm thinking about following him but I'm wondering if it's frozen I wonder if this footing is solid or I'll fall in. I go across and don't fall and climb up the bank of the other side and then climb up to a building to a room that's what I guess the top of this building I think it's supposed to be the documentation center for this company and there are various manuals, the room is a horrible mess it's like it's an abandoned crack house, that level of mess and there may be some people in the distances sort of a cubicle white room , darkish, but I think the manual is not gonna be found here either -- I'm gonna have to go to that guy and print it out

+ Conversation, guess it's outdoors, it's words like: is it better to have a room with a view, or a room near the beach? This repeats a few times. I say it's better to have both: a room with a view of the beach by the beach. I think there is a pathway up ahead that runs perpendicular to where I am standing that may lead to a beach

+ LD DILD #267
I was walking down a long pathway outside, there was someone behind me who is one particular person that I hear like a loud sound and turn around a bit surprised, and there is a EW by deceased wife sitting there. She was angry. I am amazed to see her I stand up and we stand closer to each other her face is so realistic it is very vivid it looks just like her. I talking to her and 1st of all I said well of course I'm dreaming, I wanted to first make this affirmation I realize it's her, and then I can't possibly see her. I do a nose pinch to confirm and I can breath. And then I get very emotional with her, I say "Oh I miss you so much!" And she says "Oh, I miss you." At first she was like arguing with me and being angry with me. I see her , it was really her in later life not young but a little older and a little portly. I take her into my arms and say "oh I miss you so much my [nickname for her, -ochka] And she says "You're at a strange address" and I think this means she couldn't find me at our last home together, and i said "yes I've moved" (I remembered that I had remarried and moved to a different place. i feel her scratchy pit with my right arm is under her left armpit. I'm crying and balling emotionally



+ at the parking garage I'm arriving like I guess by car I'm parked outside and the entrance to the parking garage is gated and I'm surprised by this and there's a notice posted and I think oh yes of course it's a holiday weekend so they've locked the garage and if you don't have the right key access you won't be able to get or to get out. I'm naked I have no clothes on little bit self conscious about this but there was some body awareness. I managed to partially open this gate and I think I could go inside but then I may not be able to get out. Then I'm thinking normally these places are such that if you get in you're going to be able to get out from the inside but I wasn't sure about that so I didn't dedicate to that.


+ the pool looking for the pool,
the stone slots on the room with S1
walking through the garden thinking yeah don't have to water it
asking those guys at the top of the tower Hey where's the pool
gathering up the food to bring back to the refrigerator

+In an apartment kitchen, L-shaped. I see food in the apartment, stacks of food all very healthy I guess it's also in the refrigerator it's a small half-sized refrigerator (back along the long leg of the L). I see a short corner-standing shelf, about half the height of the ceiling, I think it would be more efficient to have a full-height shelf.

+ I'm looking through this apartment/home that's very detailed very vivid. I noticed the floor is tiled with a number (10-15) of very long narrow rounded ellipse shaped stone "tiles." These stones cover the floor of the room, and are several inches high and spaced an inch or two apart to the floor if very uneven, making it very hard to walk on it on the one hand but on the other it's hard (for others to come in and take over?) I wanted to take these pieces of stone out and store these things outside in the garden. Son S1 is outside, a younger version of him.
I'm walking outside and storing some pieces of these stones outside, I see the garden, very detailed. [Thank you day practice!] There are (looking back towards the original stone slat room inside) two chaise lounges on either side of the path, with plants around them.

I'm walking through the garden thinking yeah I don't have for water or wondering if I have to water it and where's the watering system thinking well because this is a hotel they must certainly take care of that. At first I think I had bought this house but then I realized oh yeah, this is a hotel (or some managed property). There is a wall of the building ahead visible through the plants and I'm looking for the automatic sprinkler system devices, and wondering where the controls for the watering system are.
At one point I'm sort of leaning off a wall and I see the address of the place, it is one of those branded "stay at home" places. It has a sort of funny address: 22435. I see the main entrance, it has an illuminated sign, white background with red lettering, it says "Extended Stay America: Stay At Home" or something like that.

I continue further through the garden, and notice a row of chaise lounges (with umbrellas?) laid out on a curving path, I think this would be a nice place to relax. Very realistic, very alternate life-level feeling. [Did some SSILD cycles, did some "I will be lucid in my dreams" affirmations].

Then I'm on top of a high platform like a diving board, It's very confusing and I'm afraid of flying, it's a platform very high Above the ground. I had the sense that I wanted to fly and I hold an internal discussion with myself, On the one hand, I knew that the feeling that you want to fly generally means you can fly, but I'm afraid that if I can't fly that I'll fall and get hurt. I didn't do it nose pinch or think of dreaming. I turned around and there are like 2 young men approaching, I have to go around carefully so I don't fall from this high place in the middle and (they?) point an imperfection, "be careful," in the Sidewalk that I'm walking on. There are people down below. I wanted to ask them where's the way to the pool I wanted to find the pool.

I'm walking back the way I'd come earlier through the garden, and I see packages of food outside on the ground along the path I'm walking. I'm picking up the (only the perishable ones because they need the refrigerator?) packages and stacking them in my arms and heading back to the apartment.


I see her (EW deceased wife) again (she was very angry and I could not calm her down....she said something was a waste of money and I answered "well yeah, lots of people waste money on lots of useless things" I got back to the room I spill water on the floor h I think "Oh, God," I've got I have to clean this up and the water starts spiraling out from the room and down and down and around the stairs and then on to different landings and I also dog pee, puddles of yellow pee in the rooms And then I think my dog has peed here and we're going to have to clean it up. I'm going to go find something to clean up all those water or the maids are going to come in and be pissed.

I was also returning to the room with the idea that we have to save for a farewell to this imaginary family we have a bunch of kids that at 1 point I'm thinking it's like The Brady Bunch they've been with us. we're gonna have to go back to the room we're going to have to say goodbyes as they're gonna have to leave and it's gonna be very sad, but I have to do it and then they're coming back and they say "oh do we have to?" There is EW again, she is very angry different in face slightly. I'm trying to reason with her but she just wno't calm down.