• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

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    1. 2020-10-07 scooters again, parking, traffic, quests, unpleasant relationships

      by , 10-07-2020 at 07:47 AM
      late bedtime, ~midnight or later. Fall asleep slowly, L reading on phone, takes a while to fall asleep

      no early recall first couple of wakings
      2nd/3rd waking set stronger intention for dreaming/lucidity
      took longer to get back to sleep after this
      a lot of wakings, shoulder bothering

      up out of bed ~08:00

      later, lots of scenes/fragments

      + in apartment, some old g/f (wife?) has returned, at first I'm happy, but the she starts nit-picking me endlessly and I'm crestfallen, and think being alone may have been better

      + romantically together with an older, unattractive woman, she mentions "we need to talk" (about our relationship), and I think about responding "well, one option is not talking" but I don't say anything because that will probably not be received well.

      Sitting close (holding her in my arms, we're sitting on a couch/bench, her back is to me), she makes a pun/joke, I get it, I laugh, and say was a good one, she laughs to and is proud of her clever pun


      + (f) I need to satisfy some quest or set of requirements, I think I have time, but others say no I have to finish all the tasks today

      + (f) at some point I'm wearing shorts, and I wonder about how approprite this is?

      + parking scooter [DS!] on a curving curb, I'm looking closely at the curb painting, there's a red zone there, a crosswalk just ahead, and I'm trying to remember the parking rules. There's a car in a spot ahead that looks like it's not marked, and there is enough room for the scooter to park so I want to move ahead to that spot. Where I'm looking at parking right now is just in front of a crosswalk, and is too close to be legal, I know.

      Walking on (back along the sidewalk the other way from how I approached on the scooter) is a building (and an outdoor mailbox where I pick up the mail?), it is dark/twilight outside, and I see lights inside the building in a basement complex. I "recognize" the building and the apartment within (think it's where students live, or where I lived?).

      I'm in a room, and suddenly I see Rb. Mlls (company R) leaning in from an open window to the outside, and I jump with shock at seeing him because he wasn't there before. He comes in an gives me tasks to do? With some fat young woman whom I don't like?

      + maneuvering in traffic at an intersection, I join a flow with some cars to my left, I realize I'm cutting off one of the cars but keep merging left, we're turning left, then I enter some storefront. Inside is a gaming parlor and the view switches to a video game screen . I'm using a joystick as the game control. The joystick has a yaw input (twisting the stick instead of just rotating it) and I'm experimenting with this as well. The game is played on a circular "board" with different icons/images and the point is to make a full circle of your chosen icon, while others are trying to do the same. No matter how fast I manipulate the controls and replace my icons, the other players keep placing theirs, and I can't make any progress.
    2. 2020-10-06 football (lots), store/yogurt, uni, walk with D

      by , 10-06-2020 at 08:33 AM
      warm milk with honey, 500mg GABA, 1g tryptophan
      Bed time about midnight
      final waking ~07:30
      no insomnia throughout the night (didn't look at clock)
      one waking pitch black, one with more outside light


      + party in arcade basement beer glasses dirty searching for clean one hey let's have a tournament I'm thinking Donkey Kong or asteroids there's billiards as well, lots of tables what an awesome arcade room, the guys there are drinking beer, I want some beer too, I look for a glass, there are swoopy beer shaped glasses (narrower at base and curving up to wider at the top), and there are tall wine glasses, they're all dirty to some extent.


      + in grocery store, examining shelves, cookies up high, many packages opened and some cookies eaten, the higher shelves (for stocking purposes) have the cookies but the lower ones don't. So they're not really out of cookies I'm really examining the aisle closely Girl there, I'm recommending to her the strawberry yogurt, she's a bit hostile. I return to her later and ask her if she bought the strawberry yogurt, she's friendlier. I see containers of opened/eaten yogurt. As we leave the store and she's going to her car (a very tall, i.e., monster truck with several young people seated in the cab), I reach back with my right arm and we "shake hands" by brushing our fingertips together and I call to her friends "("Kim"?) has yogurt for you!"

      + uni football team, I'm on team, I'm QB?, even though I'm old (current age), my dad was on the football team, too. I'm pumping my fist into the air, so proud of my history on the team. The young people think what is up with that weird old guy, I think they must respect me because I was on the team! I'm walking on some raised path and look down on to a cafeteria scene near a beverage machine.

      + I go into a room reserved for the team, there are ushers standing guard (?), and thre are tables of snacks, I'm looking for something to eat but pretty much everything has been consumed. There are huge piles of wooden chopstick sets all over. I find something to eat but there's not much left, and a woman (and her daughter?) are also approaching that place and (we're going to have to compete for the snacks?)

      + I'm entering the football stadium, looking for my seat, it's dark, since I've been on the team, I think I get to sit with the team? There are a bunch of really big black guys sitting there, I'm looking at them trying to figure out if I can sit here. I do sit and I realize these are TERRIBLE seats -- you can't even see the field, which is way around some distant corner. You can barely even hear the action or the crowd.

      + walking in to (uni) sports facility through tall thick doors, leading someone through corridor, giving directions, [aware of my path]


      + walking with DB (uni g/f) around B, on Oxf st. along Uni border we pass the gym building on our left, I'm planning to set up a racquetball session in the gym for her and her friends and I say I'll join them. Then we're farther from campus on the downtown side, she wants to go to the buildings there, but I don't, I look up the hill and see the clock tower, realize how far we are from it, and say "I don't want to spend the time to go there," (I was thinking of a particular building with a lecture hall, "Wh?"), "I'll take you there later.". She's walking ahead of me, I call to her, "D, " and gesture with my hand for her to return to me. I lead us back towards the gym, we're walking up a hill, there is traffic / cars and we're weaving our way through them, and I ask her, "So, what's your schedule?" (pronounced in the English way, "SHED-YULE"), and she answers that she and (some guy? says name?) are travelling and bumming stays at friends houses. I want to ask her about this guy, if he's a serious boyfriend. I want to take her hand, but I don't want to spoil our friendship, and she may no longer feel that way about me. We reach the back door of the gym and she head up the stairs (very colorful, lots of bright primary colors), and I ask her "How's the nuclear ionics going?" She responds s.l. "oh! You've been following me!" and I know this to be true, I googled her and found out her research topics included the physical of nuclear particles.
    3. 2020-10-04 computer lab, rest stop gun guy, parking receipt, joker on screen

      by , 10-04-2020 at 04:47 PM
      Finally some decent sleep

      + Come up to a work lab station/area, I know they're working on our latest chip which is back from the foundry. They are testing various aspects of it, I wonder if the whole thing works or not. I ask for them to hand me a whole board, they hand me one. It's fairly large for a board, square, typical green base material, and our chip is about 1/2 square right in the middle and is black.

      + driving in car, I want to throw some piece of garbage away [recent recurring DS!], we pull into some sort of rest stop under an overpass, I see a garbage can, but there are two menacing men there, one of them brandishing a long barrel machine gun, I get nervous and we pull out quickly. Cut to driving, and it appears that the gun guy grabbed on to the back of our vechile (which is a truck), and is climbing along the back, I (or someone, I think I've [DO] from outside) is struggling with the guy, getting him tied up to the canvas-covered back of the truck? Wrapping him around with clear plastic wrap?

      + group party, table, beers. Hanging out with people at tall tables sitting on stools (at a bar?) [DREAM SIGN]

      + something about BF MR [DS]

      + Driving in a parking lot, need to exit. Go up curving ramp to top level, need to get a receipt to get through the automatic gate (to exit?), enter office area, I'm waiting for my receipt, but there's a line of people there to my right waiting for service, I'm not sure if I can just go up and get it, I think I can but I'm not sure.
      Conversation Steve [plane guy] from company D [first company]

      + fiddling with a video game or screen, there is an image (the joker from batman?) that sort of jumps around, it's like the monitor settings are off or the computer is trying to change resolution, the image is not settling properly.
    4. 2020-10-02 doorway, event, cafe table, kitchen, monster, empire

      by , 10-02-2020 at 11:43 AM
      bed-time: late, about midnight.
      watched video, ate muffin
      no alcohol

      earlier (4 hrs)

      Initially no recall, but reached for recall, associated, and these eventually came through:

      + sitting at cafe table (s) (tall, [round?] seated on stools) with people, new people come, I suggest ordering (tuna?), the table is cluttered with bottles & dishes, I want to drink, there are many partially-finished beer bottles. I do not want to drink from the partially-finished bottles. The bottles are classical transparent dark brown, I see the level of liquid in them. I find one which looks to be full, and I pop the top off with my finger/thumb (it's not hard, like it was already opened).

      + dark place narrow doorways, light switches, touch person (bandid?) hair, fear (Mex?). I feel for the light swtich just inside the narrow and slightly elevated (bottom higher than ground) door, find them, flip them (one works, one doesn't in the next entry way?) Feeling for the light switch in the 3rd(?) entry, my hand strays to below and beyond the hanging-open door which is to my right, and I touch a person's body/hair, it is soft/warm/living, and I'm frightened, I think this may be a bad person or part of a gang of criminals

      + outside, daytime, slightly curving small street, buses come, people come suddently streaming moving from right/uphill to left/downhill , there is some big event, I want to attend, I want to get on bus, I want preferred / privelege location, carrying something, think of carrying it with me, I may be carrying it for a long time in my arms, think about getting a bag then it would be more convenient to carry it, visualize myself walking with the bag containing the [unknown] item

      long BTS 4am - 7am+

      start doing total "release" - "I give up" and fell myself falling deeper, hold especially my face and eyes totally relaxed, eyes unfocused, hold body totally still, everything still and continually release tension over and over and over, face, eyes, tongue, body, and mind, release all thoughts, no visualization at all (no "river running by my head and my thoughts are draining out", no "breath in energy breath out tension"), just continual total release of everything. It took maybe 10-15 minutes (felt closer to 10) of conscious release effort to the point beyond consciousness.


      + I find myself in my CH kitchen, visuals are hazy a bit, it is lit but dark like it is night time, I feel immediately strange, light headed/weak, body feels light, I think this is because I am ill or having a stroke or some sort of sudden health issue, I sink down into a crouch to prevent a fall from fainting, and I'm holding on (with both arms?) to the sink counter for stability, [dream ends, I wake up?]

      final waking:

      + with g/f L inside, we are discussing meeting the monster which lives in our closet, right now. I'm quite nervous about this.

      + [DO] Playing CDC Plato empire. Flying around Kaz? There are Romulan and Orion ships. I fire torpedoes, I see that the enemy detonates them. One (orion or federation) ship flies close by, so I engage phasers which are effective at short range. They don't seem to activate, I'm reaching for the "f" key on the keyboard? I start to see some milky white substance heading towards the enemy ship?
    5. 2020-09-28 one dream, quickly forgotten

      by , 09-28-2020 at 07:31 AM
      bed-time: around midnight
      final out of bed: 8:50
      movie before bed
      ice cream, apple-cake, no alcohol
      200mg L-theanine before bed (maybe don't take this any more? Seemed to really wreck dream recall)

      around 06:00

      + vague impressions only. Elevator? DD from college house? Scraping little beans on the ground while talking to/thinking about Suz.Bu.? It was a fairly active dream and fairly long, but it faded really quickly.
    6. 2020-09-27 distant hills, go-kart, escape, video game scenes

      by , 09-27-2020 at 09:19 AM
      1/2 of a 100mg B6 at bedtime. Probably a bad idea for sleep.

      bedtime, ~00:00


      + with guy moving towards mountains. The mountains are in the distance and are our destination (or our path leads through them). I can see (vaguely) the rising foothills ahead. Unsure of the path, other than we need to go through/via the mountains. We get to a street where there are people (Chinese tourists?) the street is straight and gets steep quickly.

      + riding with Jr. High best friend DD on a city street in a go-cart-like car. I'm concerned about my hand/legs hanging out the side wacking in to a parked car as we whiz by. I have a piece of trash that I need to throw away but I don't want to throw it just anywhere, I want to make sure there's a garbage can where I can be sure of getting it in.

      + I'm planning an escape, I'm preparing a bug-out pack, I gather my wallet, and a pile of apples. I'm going to exit the country? In a room of a building (bedroom?) I have an accomplice who is helping me prepare. I manage to avoid detection from the large groups of assailants who are pursuing me, I'm not sure how they don't see me. I get away, to the coast, and sail away at night.

      up 5am, 6am still can't sleep, out of bed, 1-1.5 hours, back to bed, long to sleep, start seeing some images and get excited about a WILD possibility, get too alert, eventually fall asleep

      + playing RPG video game. I find a big pile of treasure, I see the list of items on the screen. These are very powerful items. I type the "l" command to look at the area and get the list again. They look to be permanent power-ups at first, and there items that suit particular members of the party. I specifically note one for the thief, there is a question of whether it is better than what he already has. Then I realize that the effects of the objects are temporary, I see a "time reamining" meter on one of the boosts, and it only has one bar left (out of 4/5), so that means that whoever finds this has to hurry and get about having more encounters to get the benefits of the boost.

      Then I'm seeing a sort of overhead map of the world. There is a mixture of text and image/graphics. It is a world that people can build on to themselves, adding entrypoints for quests. I see strange beasts, mixtures of things like trees with animal feet, emerge from a portal. A big group of them are emerging and dancing/moving around. Then there is singing, like it's a giant flash mob of these fantasy game creatures.
    7. 2020-09-26 mini-vampire girl, bathtub, infiltrating the mob

      by , 09-26-2020 at 10:06 AM
      Light recall, probably too much wine, too late bed-time, too much sugar before bed....oof!
      Moderately upsetting tiff with g/f really threw off my whole attitude before bed time, colored the whole night negatively.


      + I'm hanging out (lying on something?) with a little mini-vampire girl. She is doll-sized (cat-sized?), I feel a lot of affection towards her. I let her bit my finger. The pain is sharp, her teeth are REALLY sharp. She has a cat's teeth: two prominent fangs, and a row of tiny sharp little short teeth between them. I look at my finger, and there is a prominent spot of blood welling up from the bite. I let her drink. We're not supposed to do this, feeding our vampires is not allowed I recall. I think this means I will become a vampire. The scene changes and 3-4 guys who are all wearing black and white mime-style makeup on their faces are walking about outside.

      + (continuation?) we're entering/infiltrating a school. It's a multi-story building, fairly tall, lockers are on the walls, and we're climbing up scaffolding (which is falling as we climb?) to get to the classrooms on the top floors.

      + In an apartment, multi-level layout, I get into a fairly large tile bathtub full of hot water and sink down in until just my head is left above the water. I feel myself floating in the water and it is a luxurious feeling. A guy who's there (Larry from high school) also gets in the tub?


      + (dozing dream) we're infiltrating a mob spot, the entrance is in a building down a flight of stairs below street level. There is a watch guy inside? A mob guy on the stairs (muscle-y) sees us and goes up the stairs to notify the rest of the gangsters that we're there.
    8. 2020-09-25 restful night, fair bit of dreaming, but little recall

      by , 09-25-2020 at 12:41 PM
      Caught up on sleep.

      Bedtime -- 00:00, out of bed: 09:30, most of that I think was spent sleeping!

      + .... I've given my car keys to somebody, and now how am I going to use my car?

      + ... speaking with the construction foreman about lack of progress, asking him why things are going so slowly
    9. 2020-09-24 bad sleep, 3 very obvious and ignored dream scenes: lost car, g/f shorter, wasp nest

      by , 09-24-2020 at 09:49 AM
      terrible sleep, didn't sleep most of the night. shocking event at 3.5 hrs waking kept me up. didn't get back to bed/sleep until 7.5 hours.

      + can't find my car, I'm with (g/f L?), it's dark outside, in the driveway of some place like a hotel where the car can't be left, maybe it's been towed and that's why I can't fine it? I'm looking at the cars and none of them are right. Some are very small, size of child's toy car that they can sit and ride in. The color I'm looking for is wine/brown (saw a WL car that color yesterday), the one that keeps presenting itself is partly silver? Keep walking around, looking for my car. Get in one eventually, but it's so small, go-cart sized, no roof, and is moved about by rolling your hands over rollers on each side of the door, the "car" is just one person wide.

      + indoors, in a store, my g/f L has put on an old-time colorful summer dress that is really beautiful, bright blues, some reds, but it makes her 1-2 feet shorter, and I notice this and mention it

      + I discover a hive of wasps in my CH bathroom, and I'm swatting at them with a towel (knowing this is probably a bad idea), back out of the room closing the door, continue to swat at the ones that made it out with me, get a good look at one, it's like a long thing wax pepper, a weak yellowy color with a long dark stinger, I see its head and I think I'll just squish it's head and quickly kill it, but it flies at my neck, lands, and proceeds to sting me, I anticipate the pain and jerk away, and this jerks me awake in bed

      + (f) around a table people are sitting, and someone says "jui jitsu is for <xxxx>"
    10. 2020-09-23 wife, in laws, chess, paving area with nude ladies, balloon, breath awareness

      by , 09-23-2020 at 12:04 PM
      + in bed with [deceased] wife E, she sits up, facing me, I tell her in her native language "I miss you ... I missed you" over and over. I'm rubbing her left leg with my right hand while I say this She sits up, I look at her, she is young and beautiful, really radiant, her black hair super deep shiny black. I examine her face closely, her eyes, it seems to be her, I get a close up on one of her eyes, then we're lying in bed togther I'm holding her close, I'm on my right side, she's shaking uncontrollably and very strongly, she calls (or she just comes in) her mom who comes in to try to calm her down

      + talk to wife E's [deceased] parents in their room through a screen door on a porch [I'm outside], they're lying on the bed, father B asks me where I've been all day (in foreigng lang?) I answer [in foreign lang] I've been doing my "doings". he's lying on his stomach [watching a TV?] with his head on the foot of the bed and his feet back towards the head. He's closer to the door to me. Then there's suddenly a young woman sitting in a chair close to me betweed bed and outer wall of room, her name is something like Nina, she says something, and pulls up her shirt with two hands cross-wise revealing her tan colored bra and her light skin, holding it up for a second then putting it back down and I say "Well, NOW you have my attention!"

      + picking up son S2 (young) at kindergarten, ask how was his day, he answers "really great!" and crawls on the floor, has no shirt(?) and has water dripping from an armpit(?), he tells me how he's been playing (shooting spit wads?) all day with this friend, I think what kind of school is this, and how I need to be reading to my kids at night, this will teach them to read

      + riding on back of car facing backwards driving through city streets inflating a very long (red or blue) balloon, I'm using my breath and blowing hard to do it [first breath awareness!]. It's getting longer and longer, there 's a guy following me who's also blowing a balloon (the other color, blue or red) that's getting longer, but mine is longer. I'm blowing up mine towards him, and he's blowing up his towards me. Then the balloon turns to the side (perpendicular to the direction of travel) and pops and I'm thinking about how the material might get inbetween the cars [of the train?] and gum up the machinery.

      + walk into neighbor's yard, observe differences [false], they've paved it to remove sand/gravel. The paving paths are made up of paving stones and bricks of different colors, mostly brick red/brown. It looks neat in the yard, I look close up and see that they have nonetheless not removed all of the sand, there is sand in between gaps in the paved areas.
      but I see they didn't get it all, it's very ruffled and textured and I think this means it will be nearly impossible to sweep or keep clean, new people move in, someone's (new lady owner?) on the 2nd floor, then on the ground floor are a lot of young women, one of them is in her room, which is openly visible (no walls?) getting undressed, they are taking showers, a view into a kitchen with more young women, lots of nudity upper and lower body, I'm looking on with interest as I walk through the scene.

      + thinking how I'm going to meet my wife E at the airport, the intl flights from [country] usually arrive around 12pm or 1pm, and I left my [local make La. Lar.] car at the long-term parking lot at the airport. I look through several keychains and the piles of keys there, look closely at one of them, and stuff them all into my pocket

      + playing a chess position, thinking about possible pawn push discovered attacks on my king, think my king is much less safe, and that king safety is all about whether the opponent's pieces can successfully mount an attack. I see the pieces on an overhead representation of the board, then I see letters instead of piece figures on the board, then I'm at an outdoor professional chess tournament, one player makes a move, then going to examine a huge computer screen showing the analysis for the move he just made, lots of moving video on the screen of pieces shuffling while he's watching it, and I'm wondering how he could be looking at the analysis while the game is still in play because it will give him a good next move. One player loses, there is a close - up of his solumn face (beard?), he gathers his things and goes without congratulating his opponent. [just like a scene at the end of a tennis match in a stadium]

      later after WBTB

      + [DO] overhead view of toy-scale race-track, a testing ground for medium sized (trucks / toy trains?). Sound effects of racing engines. After one train makes a circuit, the engineers get busy making modifications to the track course and they start runing a different trian/truck

      + with two guys, we want to (test out?) some sort of large vehicle (train, tractor?) in some sort of testing/maintenance station, but a locamotive whch is right in front of us pulls in to the station right in front of us, and puts on its right turn signal to indicate that it will be staying a while. we go talk to the station attendants and we determine the price of getting out vehicle outfitted to use the station, like $400. My companions indicate they want to come back tomorrow. Go out into street and I try to blow to inflate a (bicycle?) tire? with my mouth.
    11. 2020-09-22 tons of scenes, something remembered of most

      by , 09-22-2020 at 09:00 AM
      bedtime 23:15-30?
      final waking: 09:00?
      out of bed: 09:20
      wine at dinner
      watched some video before bed

      first waking 01:50?
      didn't look at clock for intermediate wakings
      waking 05:50
      some trouble getting back to sleep -- performed TMI meditation prep steps (motivation, golals, expectations, diligence, distractions, posture) and relaxed and fell asleep eventually

      + Son S2 taunts guy on bike right to left girl in middle, guy gets mad chases S2 left to right, I go there. He's hitting S2 with some large sack. I'm trying to defuse some contraption with live 220V thick wires, I take one wire out and am trying to put it carefully to the side, I'm concerned about being electrocuted. Later we're riding in the back of a vehicle on a highway, the back is open and I'm fumbling with a bag, and I see my favorite blue&yellow (University) shorts fall aout onto the road, they're gone and I can't get them back

      + walk by the windows of an indoor facility, I think it's early morning, there are a number of people inside, point at guy "you've been here all night!?" looks grizzled. There are 3 service windows, as I approach the left one the man there closes it, I get upset and complain that he did this just as I approached, he asks me what I want to do, and I'm surprised, I don't know at first! I "remember" that I want to send three things/letters that I'm holding in my hand, I look at them and try to decide what they are.

      + pizza restaurant, earlier, we're all glad that they're opening a ("Pizza Hut?" "Pizza World?") restaurant right across the street from us, I'm thinking "we can drop in there any time we want for a fresh slice!". Then I'm thinking "I (we?) could become the (manager? owner?) of this place. <discontinuity, more dream content> I'm back again at the pizza place, this time on the inside of the complex in the hallway, at first it appears like there's only counter service, but I eventually see some inside high table/counter seating. I think what I want, at first I think sausage, but then I decide to ask for Pepperoni with extra cheese.


      + weird vending machine: I want to buy something, put in money, and push a bunch of buttons. I think I need to push all the buttons leading to the item I want. But instead, this buys *all* the items at each of the buttons that I've pushed. I'm thinking what to do with all this stuff I don't want. There is a small pack of bread, and containers/baggies of various pills. There are people around me. I offer to sell these unwated things to them, and somewhat to my surprise, they're all interested. First I sell the bread to a guy, I'm inspecting the package to look for the price, and eventually I see it is "45 <local currency>". I see that peopple have bought and taken a lot of my stuff but not with interacting with me, I say "hey, wheres' my money?!" they point out that it is on a counter, I look there and see a pile of coins, so it's OK.

      + [DO] I'm on a list of people giving a presentation at graduate school. I see my name about 3/4 of the way on the right, Since I've finished grad school I'm not sure what the point is of me being on this list.

      + in car outside (steep driveways?) talking with (former colleague?) about a conference?

      + on bus, stand up and get off, thinking about clothing, there are other people there, I exit at the back

      + outdoor large parking lot, huge van shows up, older man is cajoling his (son?) for not giving him enough money for his business: "$6,000, is that all?! I need more!" he says. His business is apparently buying & selling large bags of dog food. I see one of the bags on top of the truck and it is spilling a bit of the kibble around. It is a long large truck, he has a ton of inventory I think. There is a car in the parking lot farther on with two women, one middle-aged and one younger (wife & daughter?). They get out of the car. I'm focusing on the younger one. She has very attractive and shapely breasts apparent through her top. I'm watching her intently and she turns from side to side and I continue to try make out the shape of her breasts, and I'm definitely enjoying this and appreciating the view.

      + at my laptop at home, I'm looking at some pictures of females, they're not terribly risque, but my wife is there and I become self conscious, and so when she comes by I close the lid of my laptop. I hope she won't notice but she does, and insists that I show them to her. I open it to show one and briefly close it, hoping that will resolve the matter and she'll move on, but she won't drop it. I start getting a sinking feeling that I'm really in for it.

      + (vague) something about friends from our student's house at college. I see CL (guy) there, he's among people speaking a different language? I'm also with DD, and we have some goal, using a mobile phone, to block or interfere with something that we don't want to happen.
    12. 2020-09-19 bunch of scenes over two wakings.

      by , 09-19-2020 at 12:58 PM
      bedtime 00:30?

      wakings: 02:00 , 04:14 (bathroom), 04:35 can't fall asleep get up sit chair telescope/stars, 04:55 back to bed, relaxation techniques, fall asleep


      + In some (University?) setting, I'm offering a friend to play (handball?), there is a vague (transparent? grapefruit-sized malleable "ball" in my hands, we're walking (to the court?) and talk about a volleyball team, I think I should join because that's a good way to meet young people (girls?) , we enter a dinner/cafe and sit at tall long table in the middle of the room, the tables/counters all around are strewn with leftovers, it's dark-ish in here, I think we're going to drink beer (and wonder if we'll be OK to drive after that) and eat (pizza?), look on counter next to kitchen see piles of food (pizza with melted cheese) covered with newspapers all along the counter, I approach the counter and think about hot links sausages go to look and see vague wrapper on counter, can't see anything not sure if it's a hot links package or not.

      + [DO?] (younger) dad in garden pulled up by his collar (instant replay) with a look of pain on his face

      + keys to the boy scout troops equipment rooms, the rooms are spread out across different towns

      + standing in line approaching service counter, crowd of people, line is unruly, some women in line jump in front of me I believe

      + scary corridor the room is lost hear friend but can't reach, there is no path any more, I'm scared/panicked, pacing back and forth in the elevator landing looking for the door to the room I remember being there before where my friend is, hear voice but can't get to her, to prove that she's there, I (put?) a mirror on the wall and she wacks the wall with her hand from her side and breaks the mirror, she's yelling/screaming for me

      + [DO] sleeping bags dual entry I think for serious cold camping but g/f L thinks its for animals, I wonder about washing them, g/f L says you need to wash them after (30?) days. They look like two smaller sleeping bags that are sewn together at the foot, sort of a "sleeping bag for two." One side (the left side) of each pair is a bit shorter than the right side. They look too short for me.

      + how to get out of the garage? Lots of debris, get out, pile of construction garbage nearby, workers comment on the driveway of neighbor we're standing in, owner won't like it that we're there.


      (weaker recall)

      + (f) lion? (new d/s) in distance / riding bicycle old time handles

      + (f) crossing intersection at busy road, waiting for light

      + football play (instant replay?) View from on-field sidelines I'm standing on the right hand side of the offensive team's direction, there is a wide receiver set up on the right side, the play starts, he runs out after a delay, the defending side I think holds/pushes him too much, he gets out and runs his route but the play goes to the left side of the field, it's a short pass, and after a little maneuver to avoid a tackle the receiver doesn't make much yardage.

      + wife on vacation? in Paris?, I want to returnr immediately stay a day or two more I think, she offers a whole month

      + scene indoors with my old dog L, he is standing there and snapping at flies as they pass by his face. I think this is amusing. He keeps snapping at them but never seems to catch any of them.
    13. 2020-09-18 enemy garage, restaurant, cube, car

      by , 09-18-2020 at 08:47 AM
      bedtime: ~1am? (celebration yesterday, and generally messed up day running errands, my schedule was thrown off)
      First noticed waking:
      out of bed: 9:45am

      I have grogginess sufficient to fall back asleep and eventually do, try body scan, mouth & eye relax, visualize quiet scene, river with sounds, lake scene, and start floating in/out of wakefulness


      + A garage area roll-down door is closing, there is a guard stationed there, I block the door at the last minute and crawl underneath. There is a whole gang of bad guys in there and I've infiltrated. I have a key and mess with the floor-locking mechanism on the door. I get up and start walking resolutely. Bad guys are all around me but are going about there business, ignoring me because they assume I belong. I walk through different rooms & areas (washing machines in one?) and keep walking ahead, not making eye contact, wondering how long this can go on before they discover me.

      + restaurant table woman arrives drops something, should I pick it up as a gentleman would? I dither on the decision

      + moving restaurant table, I go from a multi-person table to a smaller table so as to make room for a larger party at my first table.

      + work setting, woman hears man talking thinks it's bad about her throws a cup of water at him through a hole in the cubical walls, scene shifts to see that guy in his cube, angry and raging about that he just uses that whole to talk to his cube neighbor, he starts ranting about "pubes" and shows his pubes (big bush) to his cube neighbor, keeps ranting "pubes! pubes!"


      + I'm on the downhill slope of FL (neighborhood CH to the left and down) approaching the corner at AV, rolling (ball?) with a friend who is ahead of me, the ball rolls down and to the left on to AV. A bright turquoise blue car (Mercedes?) (the color is really striking and gets my attention, the rest of the dream seems greyscale, it is dark-ish, evening time) drives by me closely on the left, stops, and now comes almost directly at me, I wonder if he's trying to hit me, it seems like it, should I get out of the way? I stand in place and the car's left side (heading up hill now) brushes my left leg. I think the driver is just going to keep coming at me. I see the driver inside the car (light, white/cream colored upholstery) seems to be lying down in the front seat, I see a bottle, I assume he's drunk.

      + (f, vague) feeding the cat? water bowl is dirty with bits of food in it?

      + in PTL, move from MB to S1's room, one guy there, I'm naked, being a bit of an exhibitionist, the other guy pulls his pants down, I toss a wad of paper into the top of his pants like a basketball hoop, want to show it to those around, another guy comes (relative of the first) and first guy mentioned what I did, I think I should get dressed, I pull a pair of rainbow underwear out, rainbow striped shaped like women's bikini bottom, put it on, the size is a bit off, I say "this is a large"
    14. 2020-09-16 random short scenes

      by , 09-16-2020 at 06:39 AM
      bed-time 12:15

      wakings: ~02:00, ~04:00 [long BTS despite still being groggy, g/f very noisy, some 4-7-8 breathing and breath focus, quick tense/release, "don't think", exhale all tension on exhale] 07:30
      out of bed: 08:00

      early wakings:
      + (f, vague) chess position thoughts

      final waking:

      + baby blue, tank-like garbage truck lunges out of the parking lot into the street, I hop out of the way, it has a "cow catcher" front, totally closed, no windows

      + pulling off the highway (to exit?) to the shoulder, the shoulder quickly becomes loose wet sand with ditches, we'll get stuck if we go farther, I call to the driver to stop

      + naked (and excited [clearly visible]) male wrestlers trying to hide the fact from the (coach? ref?) that one of them has climaxed during the bout. One of the wrestlers is smaller and weaker than the other and has thin arms

      +(f) walking along some ledge in a cave

      + time to board an airplane, the counter agents are calling out the boarding order, I'm not in the first class but I'm towards the front of the line, so I'm wondering if it's my turn yet, we go forwards towards the plane, and [DJ-time recall:] through a large concessions area there there are a lot of gooey and tasty looking pastries, and I'm thinking that people will buy these and take them on the plane. Other tourists are talking about / thinking of buying fur (mink?) stoles (?)

      + [fairly vivid] clearing snow from the streets (in Seattle?). There's a crew with a lawn-mower sized snow/ice breaker/plow, and they're moving it along a long, straight (waterfront) area with cars parked on the right. An older man is running the snow breaker, he puts it over a chunk of snow and it has grinders inside that chew up the ice/snow (and spit it out?)

      + getting our tickets punched by the conductor, the location of the punch on a large red and white card indicates somehow the location of the seat? He says "oh so you're all together?" I'm standing and looking at the large laminated red/white seat map and wondering about the meaning of the punch location. One of the punches is made on the border

      + discussion with a young woman about the weather properties of "some burrough of New York?" and I keep making incorrect statements like "it is located along a large body of water, that's why the weather is moderate" that she contradicts and corrects; ) overhead, [DO] scene of a map of street arterials between regions, then the scene shows a foot-path moving into a building (fast food restaurant?) where people walk to stand in line to buy tickets, brief impression of a ticket buying transaction at the counter
    15. 2020-09-11 another overflow night over several wakings :)

      by , 09-11-2020 at 09:10 AM
      Meta: bedtime before midnight, 100mg of sweet dessert wine around 9pm, didn't watch any videos before bedtime (yay).
      Took my zinc, magnesium, and multi (1) about 8pm. Took 1/2 of a 100mg B6 tablet at bedtime. No relaxants (valerian, melatonin) or nootropics (Hyp-A, galantamine, AlphaGPC).

      Final waking: 7am, consolidated recall, tried for some continued relaxation, visualization (V-WILD), got up about 8:45am

      Real Reflection making an appearance! I acknowledged a DC as speaking in English, and I asked my DC son S2 "what's up with your head!?"


      + with son S2 in present day home, earwax buildup on his mobile, he's making a massive pile of noodles in a bowl in the kitchen (I want some), back in my room facing him I notice his swollen, misshapen, balding head, and way "What's up with your head!?"

      + outside food truck (sausages with lots of toppings) on the street, the vendor woman I notice is speaking in English [DS!], she has weird teeth [DS], the sausages are tightly rolls of thinly sliced lunch meat, around front with son S1 to order, there are vats of toppings like guacamole, and various sweets to order

      + lots of activity with a Boy Scout group on a dark (snowy?) hill, there is a luxurious looking clubhouse with lights on inside and a round dome roof

      + (f=fragment), faces, (mother?) saying something about some woman living in "Eckerly" or something like that.

      + at a traffic light, pull up to left lane to turn left beside cool car, some guy from the other direction (right?) pulls in front of me in a giant cool car, I decide not to mess with him, light turns green, but I realize too late while in the intersection that the light is green only for straight not turning left, and I'm going to run into problems with cross-traffic


      + in a canoe on a large body of water, my mobile is out and I'm filming, find a nice spot to land but have trouble and get advice from the guys already landed, I make several attempts, get out, want to get naked and swim (I'm wearing a swimsuit?), the others want to go but I say "give me time to swim!"

      + woman pushing a hotel luggage trolley, another woman is riding, they make out (?), I take over, get to the destination where the woman's husband is, woman and I quickly kiss, and I start discussing their travel plans, they're from the south and only flying to a neighboring state, a map of the south comes up and I'm eyeing it closely trying to make sense of it and name the states

      + (f) in some indoor location with tubes, some man makes some comment (he's a celebrity?), I think about the air flowing through the tubes

      + [vivid, present] in a pharmacy, I see (and narrate?) indian spices, the store clerks pop their heads around the aisle corners a few times and make random comments, I get really fascinated with the stevia, and try to decide what to buy: large size pellets, medium size, tiny size, there are so many different options I'm overwhelmed; I also look at the tooth flossers because I should bring some home for my kids, I pick up a few and carry them with me
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