• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    Memorable Dreams

    1. 2022-08-01 [vivid] very emotional mtg deceased wife; visiting the hood; garden; pillows; insomnia

      by , 08-01-2022 at 07:55 AM
      bedtime: 22:20

      Probably my most emotional, direct, confrontational encounter with my deceased wife these many years after her passing.
      I've had many dreams where she "returns" as if from a business trip, and I'm already with my new wife (usually before we were married), and I have a huge dilemma about whom I will stay with. But this time I remembered...

      ~ 03:555

      + [vivid] I'm driving in a car with my 1st [deceased] wife. She's in the driver's seat driving the car, I'm sitting in the right hand side of the back seat. We are not in good relations, she's upset with me, like our relationship is ruined. Music is playing, and a Billy Joel song begins (seems like "Rosalinda's eyes", the musical climax portion of the chorus), it was "our song" [false, that was Natalie Cole songs], and my wife becomes emotional and says she still loves me. (She cries? I cry?) I reach out and stroke her shoulder to comfort her.

      I'm standing outside in the sunlight in an open area. I look at my hands [I've been working on "I find/see my hands in dreams and realize I'm dreaming"], both of my [true in waking] rings are in place [First time that's happened!], the silver one and the wedding ring, one each on their proper hands ring fingers. I realize I'm married to my new wife now. It's the [familiar] dilemma -- what shall I do? I have no intention of leaving my new wife. I decide to remove my wedding ring for the meanwhile to hide it from my 1st wife. I'm a bit concerned about losing it rolling around loose in my pocket. I notice that the ring has left very noticeable impressions on my ring finger, from the protrusions it has on the inside face [false, this is day residue from viewing pictures of the Oura sleep tracking ring in the day, which has electronics on the inner side of the ring]. I think she still may see these markings and suspect something, I rub my finger where the ring sat in hopes that they'll smooth out and become not so visible.

      My first wife is consulting a lawyer about a divorce. She is reviewing some papers and reading some excerpts from them.

      I'm thinking about what I can do -- I'm married to two women at the same time. This is bigamy and I know it's against the law. I could end up in prison for 10 years. This has me very upset. I'm thinking and thinking what to do. I get the feeling that the marriage to my 1st wife should be annullable for some reason. This thought sticks with me. Then I get the notion that the first marriage ended because she died, so we're not married any more.

      Inside our home. I walk into the boys's room and I see that on their computer screen they're looking at with some colorful image (some game) instead of working on the assignment they're supposed to be working on.

      Inside our CA home, we're there with our two young sons (5-7 yrs aged in the dream). I tell her the truth: "You're dead, you died from cancer several years ago." She moves (sort of aggressively/possessively) towards my two sons (me and my sons are standing with our backs against a wall?), and I intervene myself between them to keep her from scaring them. She seems to realize the truth and she backs off. She knows she has to go.

      In any amazingly touching moment, my younger son reaches up to a bulletin board on the wall in front of us where some of their children's artwork are displayed, and takes down one of his works, and gives it to her so she can have it with her for comfort for all eternity.

      In our final confrontation, my wife and I we are standing facing each other, close, looking in to each other's eyes. She asks me: "Do you think there is life after death? Or do we just disappear into the Chaos?" I say "oh, you can still come and visit from time to time," trying to comfort her. She seems very doubtful, and (maybe says) "really?" (in a very doubtful voice). Then her eyes begin to change: there are (spirals? Like little galaxies) in the center, then they start to flash to pure white (no pupil no irirs) back and forth to the spiral eyes, and eventually remain all white, very freaky/dead looking.

      I wake up, I'm really shaken and have all-body goose bumps. I get the feeling this was a really significant dream and perhaps a real visitation.
      I spend some time fixing the key moments from the dream to memory.

      It takes a long time to calm down, eventually I sleep more and dream some more....

      + in the hood: I'm visiting some people inside their house. Outside the window across the street a large force of (police?) are gathering, they are all armed and I can see the pistols in their hands. They're preparing to storm the house directly across the street. There is a window in that house across, it is dark but with some blue and red lights (like neon lights or LED lights). I think this is not a safe place for us to be, I say "hey everybody, let's move farther inside the house," I don't want us to be hit by any stray bullets.

      (This family I'm visiting is African American?)

      One of the family members (a woman) is sitting in a doorway and is holding a small pistol in her hand. I move a bit back from her.

      +[f] some short scenes:

      I pick up my two arm support pillows and am walking with them to some other room, I'm looking at them and asking someone, "are these my pillows?"

      Some woman is talking to me about what I need to do at work. I'm taking a business trip? I know I need to be up at 7, I think the jet lag from the trip will really mess up my new sleep timing and I'll miss more sleep.

      There are some people outside, there is a corridor/walking below me. On the left are some gym-style exercise machines (some people are using them?). I think there is a lat training machine there, and that I should use it.

      Some woman is inside a large indoor area like a greenhouse, she is tending to things embedded in the floor. It's some sort of (sexual?) performance art / entertainment area, where customers will come later. The woman then prepares to be a customer (?), and along the edge is a bunch of "living" greenery that transforms, and part of it becomes adult male genitalia with curly pubic hair.

      Drifting in an out of sleep, trying to rest, alarm goes off at 07:00
      Categories
      non-lucid , nightmare , memorable
    2. 2022-07-31 better sleep, later REM, finally some vivid-ish dreams

      by , 08-01-2022 at 07:14 AM
      bedtime 22:45

      waking with recall: 05:20
      didn't fall asleep again, but got close
      got up 07:20 (missed 07:00 alarm)

      + (newly back to) work at company "N" [DS! DS! DS! Need to catch these! VERY common!] office #1
      Long meandering dull rows of work stations, not even cubes, "cubelets" or just rows of computers all next to each other. Everybody is at their desk, nobody is anywhere else. It's very strict here. I go to the kitchen / common area, want to check it out, and a very fat large security woman comes and scolds me (and others there?) that we need to get back to work. Nobody here moves from their seats during the day, apparently.

      In the kitchen area I see a video game arcade area, 5-6 machines (cabinet size) are there and some people are mulling around there playing them. I see pinball! I love pinball. I look more hoping to see an "old-time" pinball, without all the modern stuff, and I see on there on the right! Just a few bumpers and trap holes on the playing field. The machine is standing perpendicular to my view, I'm on its right side, I walk up to it, it's right up against other machines and there's a guy standing right there so I have to push through the gap to get in front of the machine. As I walk by, I slap the right bumper button a few times to see if it works, and I notice that it does. I get to the front of the machine, and start playing, a ball is in play, and I start manipulating the bumpers. I follow the ball around and skillfully trap and hit the ball with the bumpers, aiming for key features. I do pretty well and keep the ball in play for a while. Once I get the ball through a chute all the way back up to the top, I love it when I can manage that happening. It really feels like I'm playing the game! [no sound I think?]

      + Interlude dream in between office #1 and office #2?
      [forgotten details] there's a guy jumping from one tall building to another, as he jumps to the other building he catches on a hanging wire (sideways, like draped between two windows far apart, sagging from gravity in the middle). Then the view changes to me watching him from inside a room in the other building. The man is manipulating two electrical wires to generate a high-voltage electrical attack against the (thieves?) inside the room, it will happen when he brings the wires together.

      (I'm inside the room? People are inside? I walk from one room to another?)

      + office #2
      I'm back in the office. This time the cubes are laid out differently and are more like cube with semi-high walls around them. I'm at the end of (or standing outside in the corridor) my cube looking into my cube. I notice the amount of space, it's not too small, I see the carpet on the floor, I look at it and think there's enough room to lie down there (and do yoga?).

      Then my cube seems like a large closet or enclosed bed with clothes hung all around the walls. I'm sitting on the bed on the ground (perhaps elevated?) Very small, meter square perhaps. I see jeans and other clothes (socks? shirts) hanging up, I move some of them around? I think the employer will not like to see these clothes hanging here if they open the door and look inside.

      I'm standing in my cube and looking out past the far "door" (opening) to the neighboring cubes across the hallway. There are two, one immediately to the left and one immediately to the right, their mutual wall is centered in the center of my view and centered on my cube opening. I look for the name plates and read the names, they are both female names. I notice office equipment in each: printers, desks, etc. In the right cube there is a young woman employee working. She is sitting at her desk with her right side facing me. An HR representative (also female) is sitting behind her talking to her. The discussion is about the company's coverage for various anti-viral, anti-bacterial medications, the HR rep is going on for a while about the possible coverage. The employee eventually says, exasperated, "I don't want to take any (stupid?) anti-viral medication!". She stands up. I recognize her as a former colleague from my 2nd job many years ago. She has slimmed down (much slimmer than in waking) a lot and is very attractive. She looks at me and our eyes meet, we recognize each other, I raise my right hand and "wave" at her using a "wave to a baby" motion by bending only the upper half of all my fingers (sort of a "finger wave"), the same wave I used to young children in waking. (She says "let's meet later"?). I notice her clothing is very loose and flowing about her body, with a large arm opening allowing a generous view of her breasts and torso, I expect to see her naked underneath the clothing but while I see the form of her breasts they seem to be covered in some thin material.

      +[f] motorcycle guy? Some guy is riding a motorcycle, and mentions getting some expensive champagne?
      Categories
      lucid , memorable
    3. 2022-07-17 lucidd #269

      by , 07-17-2022 at 10:38 AM
      key summaries, detail later

      Tortuous night of not being able to fall asleep after an early (3.5 - 5 hr?) waking.
      Got up moved to other room sat quietly. Slowly got a bit more sleepy. Back to bed. Relaxed and comfortable, but can't make the transition to sleep, remain in a light sleep or very relaxed awake phase. Every time the transition to deeper sleep approaches I can't make it over to the other side. This happens repeatedly for probably 1.5 - 2 hours. At one point get a (REM atonia probably) all-body buzz. Get some weak images that I interact with a bit but don't solidify. Then the following happens...

      + [WILD entry?] tumbling / sliding down a rectangular staircase [DS], thinking "this is an innovative dream entry method," and thought it was quite fun at that!

      + table with food colleagues after party: first cheese, then chips, then, (sushi?) fish, then see container with noodle dish and grab that

      + JH (president company "N") has a skin condition, the doctor is lifting large scales of skin off of JH's hands and forearms, while JH is talking to himself wondering if he can get $860 million for his home. I think it's ridiculous for him to be worrying about that, he's rich enough already.

      + Approach outside-of-city home. I see the green fence has been tampered with and some parts moved aside. I think this means thieves have entered. With this thought I see more evidence of fence tampering. Look into house, see computer devices inside, try to see if anything's missing. Old printer, what's that doing there? Looks like stuff's been stolen, perhaps including my laptop. I'm stumbling through the backyard wallowing in emotions about how horrible this is. Unless.... <RC: nose pinch>... AH! This is a dream!

      (Try to remember TOTS tasks, can't remember anything but elevator and I don't want to try that one again before the others)

      (Many "adult" interactions....goes on for quite a while)

      Toy on the table, ask the "owner" to do some DC magic and summon what I want. He doesn't. I imagine touching a part of a small object farther back on the desk will work. It doesn't. I then turn and walk back into the room searching for what I want.

      Young, elegant, beautiful woman in 18th century dress. She's a bit reluctant, says ("I have a flight to catch" (?) ... "we had that time on the mountainside.." (like, that was it, we're finished). I dare her to get frisky with me right here on the table in front of everyone in the room. This gets her interested, things get going, and ...


      ... fade to awake. Stunning LD. Super vivid, stable, clear, long, immersive. Definitely top 10 of all time, and a candidate for best ever!
    4. 2022-07-07 LUCIDD #267 deceased ex-wife, apartment, vivid garden, can I fly?, dog peed inside

      by , 07-11-2022 at 09:15 AM
      + earliest dream working out in the gym there was a strange exercise device a cable that runs around the floor up to the ceiling at an angle a slope the idea is that you run really hard maybe with a harness on up this cable forwards and then you run hard backwards so it's a leg exercise done after at some typical gym benches with dumbbells and there are some women and there's a discussion about the difference between people who are experienced in the gym and people who are novices and I think I'm saying


      ... that the experienced people are able to basically do more with less space around them

      + a theme with a woman, maybe Lena, whom I'm inviting for coffee and a little pastry I'm inviting her to a place that's not far away it shouldn't take too long and it's not the same as I'm going for a full pastry

      + there is a scene of looking at a building across the street on in a cityscape, it's a several story building I'm talking to somebody maybe about [country] and saying then one of the things I wish that I had done was learned to smoke and I think there are cigarettes large like several meter long cigarettes placed vertically at distances around the top of the building and maybe I'm saying "or you would have to jump ?" the next thing I see is that people jumping from like a windows those and going towards the pavement I can see them there's a group's large groups of people 5, 10, 15 all falling vertically down towards the ground, and I'm thinking about how their legs would break when they hit the ground and I could see that their legs were catching on the window sills I'm being sort of tossed around

      + another scene I am looking at 2 black tubes Seems to be outside and these tubes are held together perpendicularly by a clamp and they have to do with a computer coding problem or a solution to a problem like one of them is the code and the 2nd tube represents the input or output stream and I start investigating I'm looking at the objects that are coming out of the output stream and I'm supposed to use this to I guest reverse engineer what the program is doing and it's a little tricky because it's basically water and bits of rope and other things that can come out of a fairly narrow typical garden hose like tube I'm sense not making out any of it I'm thinking about where is the documentation and there is a piece of paper On the ground to the left which is from the operating manual for this program and then there's a man I guess who wrote this manual I may a see him at this time I have a visual of him in his younger days and he had curly tight curly hair and which was already graying at that time so well that makes me think he was older . He says that he can print out the manual and he says the number of the manual like 177 something like that the number is not clear in my mind and I'm following maybe this guy Now across in irrigation ditch or frozen river, maybe a marsh with flattened grasses he goes across 1st and I'm thinking about following him but I'm wondering if it's frozen I wonder if this footing is solid or I'll fall in. I go across and don't fall and climb up the bank of the other side and then climb up to a building to a room that's what I guess the top of this building I think it's supposed to be the documentation center for this company and there are various manuals, the room is a horrible mess it's like it's an abandoned crack house, that level of mess and there may be some people in the distances sort of a cubicle white room , darkish, but I think the manual is not gonna be found here either -- I'm gonna have to go to that guy and print it out

      + Conversation, guess it's outdoors, it's words like: is it better to have a room with a view, or a room near the beach? This repeats a few times. I say it's better to have both: a room with a view of the beach by the beach. I think there is a pathway up ahead that runs perpendicular to where I am standing that may lead to a beach

      + LD DILD #267
      I was walking down a long pathway outside, there was someone behind me who is one particular person that I hear like a loud sound and turn around a bit surprised, and there is a EW by deceased wife sitting there. She was angry. I am amazed to see her I stand up and we stand closer to each other her face is so realistic it is very vivid it looks just like her. I talking to her and 1st of all I said well of course I'm dreaming, I wanted to first make this affirmation I realize it's her, and then I can't possibly see her. I do a nose pinch to confirm and I can breath. And then I get very emotional with her, I say "Oh I miss you so much!" And she says "Oh, I miss you." At first she was like arguing with me and being angry with me. I see her , it was really her in later life not young but a little older and a little portly. I take her into my arms and say "oh I miss you so much my [nickname for her, -ochka] And she says "You're at a strange address" and I think this means she couldn't find me at our last home together, and i said "yes I've moved" (I remembered that I had remarried and moved to a different place. i feel her scratchy pit with my right arm is under her left armpit. I'm crying and balling emotionally



      + at the parking garage I'm arriving like I guess by car I'm parked outside and the entrance to the parking garage is gated and I'm surprised by this and there's a notice posted and I think oh yes of course it's a holiday weekend so they've locked the garage and if you don't have the right key access you won't be able to get or to get out. I'm naked I have no clothes on little bit self conscious about this but there was some body awareness. I managed to partially open this gate and I think I could go inside but then I may not be able to get out. Then I'm thinking normally these places are such that if you get in you're going to be able to get out from the inside but I wasn't sure about that so I didn't dedicate to that.


      + the pool looking for the pool,
      the stone slots on the room with S1
      walking through the garden thinking yeah don't have to water it
      asking those guys at the top of the tower Hey where's the pool
      gathering up the food to bring back to the refrigerator

      +In an apartment kitchen, L-shaped. I see food in the apartment, stacks of food all very healthy I guess it's also in the refrigerator it's a small half-sized refrigerator (back along the long leg of the L). I see a short corner-standing shelf, about half the height of the ceiling, I think it would be more efficient to have a full-height shelf.

      + I'm looking through this apartment/home that's very detailed very vivid. I noticed the floor is tiled with a number (10-15) of very long narrow rounded ellipse shaped stone "tiles." These stones cover the floor of the room, and are several inches high and spaced an inch or two apart to the floor if very uneven, making it very hard to walk on it on the one hand but on the other it's hard (for others to come in and take over?) I wanted to take these pieces of stone out and store these things outside in the garden. Son S1 is outside, a younger version of him.
      I'm walking outside and storing some pieces of these stones outside, I see the garden, very detailed. [Thank you day practice!] There are (looking back towards the original stone slat room inside) two chaise lounges on either side of the path, with plants around them.

      I'm walking through the garden thinking yeah I don't have for water or wondering if I have to water it and where's the watering system thinking well because this is a hotel they must certainly take care of that. At first I think I had bought this house but then I realized oh yeah, this is a hotel (or some managed property). There is a wall of the building ahead visible through the plants and I'm looking for the automatic sprinkler system devices, and wondering where the controls for the watering system are.
      At one point I'm sort of leaning off a wall and I see the address of the place, it is one of those branded "stay at home" places. It has a sort of funny address: 22435. I see the main entrance, it has an illuminated sign, white background with red lettering, it says "Extended Stay America: Stay At Home" or something like that.

      I continue further through the garden, and notice a row of chaise lounges (with umbrellas?) laid out on a curving path, I think this would be a nice place to relax. Very realistic, very alternate life-level feeling. [Did some SSILD cycles, did some "I will be lucid in my dreams" affirmations].

      Then I'm on top of a high platform like a diving board, It's very confusing and I'm afraid of flying, it's a platform very high Above the ground. I had the sense that I wanted to fly and I hold an internal discussion with myself, On the one hand, I knew that the feeling that you want to fly generally means you can fly, but I'm afraid that if I can't fly that I'll fall and get hurt. I didn't do it nose pinch or think of dreaming. I turned around and there are like 2 young men approaching, I have to go around carefully so I don't fall from this high place in the middle and (they?) point an imperfection, "be careful," in the Sidewalk that I'm walking on. There are people down below. I wanted to ask them where's the way to the pool I wanted to find the pool.

      I'm walking back the way I'd come earlier through the garden, and I see packages of food outside on the ground along the path I'm walking. I'm picking up the (only the perishable ones because they need the refrigerator?) packages and stacking them in my arms and heading back to the apartment.


      I see her (EW deceased wife) again (she was very angry and I could not calm her down....she said something was a waste of money and I answered "well yeah, lots of people waste money on lots of useless things" I got back to the room I spill water on the floor h I think "Oh, God," I've got I have to clean this up and the water starts spiraling out from the room and down and down and around the stairs and then on to different landings and I also dog pee, puddles of yellow pee in the rooms And then I think my dog has peed here and we're going to have to clean it up. I'm going to go find something to clean up all those water or the maids are going to come in and be pissed.

      I was also returning to the room with the idea that we have to save for a farewell to this imaginary family we have a bunch of kids that at 1 point I'm thinking it's like The Brady Bunch they've been with us. we're gonna have to go back to the room we're going to have to say goodbyes as they're gonna have to leave and it's gonna be very sad, but I have to do it and then they're coming back and they say "oh do we have to?" There is EW again, she is very angry different in face slightly. I'm trying to reason with her but she just wno't calm down.
      Categories
      lucid , memorable
    5. 2022-06-17 LDD #266 dancing stars, Losing L, glass house, fire room/vodka perv, bus/music

      by , 06-17-2022 at 06:12 AM
      + losing L
      Some sort of business proposition (with L?) about ambulances, I don't understand and ask for clarification.
      There is a business meeting on an open field outside in twilight with a large group of women. They're all very positive about it, and I'm impressed at the swift level of approval of our idea. To my right on the grass I see some lines of what I believe is wiped/scuffed dog crap (it's brown and the right texture).

      I have a new romantic object and I'm really torn about what to do about L. I'm planning to leave L for the risky new romance. I think it's not fair to L. I speak with her and tell her that I need to move on. I think I'm taking a huge risk, I really love L and don't want to lose her. In a large auditorium [DS] for a talk/presentation/show, standing among the seats in the center, then I move (with L) to and aisle on the left hand central side, and an usher comes up and tells us to clear the aisle. I get annoyed and point back to where I was and say that I already had a seat. I look around and see that the seats have filled up where we previously were and all through the auditorium, and the only free spots are in the extreme corners/edges. I see a string of free seats near me and head into them with L, moving from the left central aisle towards the center of the auditorium. I see that JaCon (T5) is seated there, so I go up to him and L and I sit down, JC is on my right and L is to my left. I wonder about how to introduce L: my former love? my friend? I decide to say "JC, this is Lena, Lena, this is JC, my friend from T5. She externs her hand across me under my ams on the arm rests to shake JC's hand. I take her hand in mine after that, and I'm deeply saddened by the fact that I won't be able to take her hand in the future.

      I'm adjusting some written materials now that L and I are breaking up. I'm looking at my signature close up on paper. I recognize the first letter of my first name written in cursive but it is still strange and not quite from the alphabet. It's written in blue/green. I read then my last name in a stylized script font, very clear and regular shapes like on a computer. This is not my handwriting. I realize that it was written this way specifically to be highly legible.

      + glass house
      There is a glass house on a hill, someone breaks in there is tons of broken glass everywhere, there is a (glass?) dog lying on the ground a bit away from the house, covered with sequins that gets covered by the sharp shards of glass. I start to clear away the glass from the dog, it's owner (woman?) approaches

      later:
      + bus/music
      Seated on a bus (left-hand side near the front, where I used to site in Jr High) with a girl putting together a [my instrument]. I'm using a bottom piece from a professional player, mixing and matching pieces to build up an instrument. The player and an older woman (organizer?) are there, standing in the aisle to my right. The (woman?) recognizes me as a (normal and bass version of my instrument) player, and I acknowledge that yes, I play both. The player takes back his borrowed bottom piece saying I don't need it, I think I do but then realize I don't and say I could just play the bass version while the girl could play the normal version.

      + LDD #266 LD DILD DDILD
      stairway stars lucid man hat take me to group goose girl take her hand continue walking dream fades
      repeat non-lucid ask man take me to group, enter auditorium [DS], from right side (facing stage), go to left side (or am just there), undress girl (many layers of pants!), ushers come and kick us both out, heavy makeup, I remove her makeup and we sneak back inside the auditorium

      Climbing a stairway outside evening softer light, looking up into the sky above bare trees at the top of the staircase. Around the moon I notice a shifting / dancing pattern of bright little solid yellow "pentagram" 5-point shaped stars. They're fading in and out, becoming fuzzy/vague, then returning to clarity. Especially when they rotate in a circle that really gets my attention, I recognize that as a dream sign, and do a nose pinch, I can breathe, now I'm lucid. I walk up to the top of the stairs, there are people walking buy, I grab the arm of a man with a straw hat and tell him to take me to a large group of people, and I add that I know that they are nearby (so as not to waste time). I begin walking on a path to the right. An attractive young woman (short brunette hair) comes along and I reach out and give her a squeeze but don't want to get too engrossed, so I just take her right hand and turn to the right and continue walking along the path with her, happy, looking around at the detail, and the dream fades...


      I then repeat this plot non-lucidly (not a pure replay the visuals are different): I find a man and task him to take me to a large group of people. I enter an auditorium [DS] from the back right (facing stage). I find a young woman and begin pulling down her pants: there is layer after layer of pants and when I think I finally have reached the last one and expect to see her [ahem], there is nothing really to see. An usher comes and shoo's us out of the auditorium out of a left-side exit. The young woman's face is very heavily made up with colorful makeup. I clean off her face and then want to sneak back in to the auditorium past a security turnstyle, hoping that we won't be recognized.

      + fire room
      In a medium-sized room in a house, combined bedroom (left) living room (right). In the living room there is a fireplace with an automated fire system. I'm watching it mesmerized by its changing form and function. It has wheels and gears and metal bars/lines that move and shape change. There is fire spewing out of the open pipes. It's shaped in rectangles and a spinning circle in the middle. I think that this could be dangerous for us in the room. The fireplace changes into a flamethrower shooting a stream/column of fire into the room, sweeping the room from corner to corner, I think there's no way to escape.

      SphGrv is there lying on the bed on the left side, with her brother(?). She is lying in an provocative post and I think I catch a glimpse of a portion of her [ahem]. I wonder if she would like it if I went over there and engaged with her?

      Then she and others are on a central bed. There is an old fat perv guy trying to get her and the women drunk on vodka. He is pouring them huge glasses of the stuff, I can't believe the amount, it must be like 100ml or more, even for SG. SG takes the glass but does not drink, I can see she clearly does not want to. The man himself has poured and is drinking bourbon. He's encouraging her to drink. I'm talking to him, asking him about what kind of bourbon he has. He responds gruffly not wanting to share, (that it would spoil his taste?), I reply I don't want to drink it, I just wanted to know what it was. Later I get SG aside and tell her I'm really glad she avoided drinking the vodka.

      +[f] Someone at my pepper! It was growing on a plant [waking life true!] I was nursing along, and someone picked it without my permission!

      By the way this is my 800th DJ entry on DV!
      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable
    6. 2021-08-31 Epic! Neighbor woman saga, firepit outside CH window, hamsters, coal train car, concert

      by , 08-31-2021 at 08:51 AM
      One of those fabulous "overflow" dreaming nights -- hard to remember it all, including a long, vivid, epic non-lucid! My first since my return to full-on practice, and a really big motivation boost!

      ~100ml champagne brut before bed
      2 ice cream bars (1 of them an it's-it style cookie ice cream sandwich)
      No supplements, sniffed some lavender essential oil

      bedtime ~23:00
      final waking: 09:23


      [early]
      + giving a shot to my (fiance?)

      [mid ]
      + in my bedroom in CH at night, standing at the windows, there is a fire burning in a "fire pit" placed outside the windows on the side of the house, I see the flames, the smoke is entering the room though cracks in the old wooden window frames. My mother is lying on the bed closer to the door, I ask her about the cost of installing the fire pit, she answers "1 12." I say that "I don't know what that means, does that mean 1/12th the cost of a 'normal installation?' Did it cost $100,000? $50,000? $20,000?"

      + [epic, long, vivid] Saga of the neighbor woman:
      I'm lying on (my?) lawn outdoors on a suburban street with my head facing the sidewalk which runs left to right (with a friend to the left?). Daytime (not very bright but not night). A woman with a small child/boy walk from left to right by us. Then (I think) the same woman with the boy walks from right to left heading in front of us again, and I mention to my friend, "Oh, there's that boy again." Right away, the woman gets down right in front of my face and asks very aggressively, "What do you mean, 'there's that boy...again'!?!?" I'm a bit flustered by her aggression and try to explain I just meant that I recognized the boy from earlier.

      We're walking with this woman to her house which is up the street a little ways. As we approach the entrance, I study the architecture of the house, note the dark stained wooden shingles lining the walls, and recognize this as a feature of many houses in B, and mention this. I'm describing all the feature of the house as we enter. There seems to be a party going on, the house is full of people. I say that this is another typical feature, that these houses are full of hippies smoking marijuana. The guys look very hippy-ish with long bushy beards, they're all young, in their early 20's. I see the guy who I think is the husband of the woman.

      We're in a room with the husband, his friends, and we're playing music. I'm thinking about singing something [details forgotten].

      Wandering around the house, I notice a guy entering a room from a small courtyard, and I think this is a bathroom and the house has the bathroom entrance from the outside.

      Inside a large living room of the house, it's night, and everyone is preparing to go to sleep. The room is fully of the young hippy people, men and women. There are no real beds, but everybody is gathering blankets (plaid?) and pillows and settling down on the ground and on couches for the night. The woman is one of the people on the bed, and (the protagonist, who is no longer me?) is shuffling the people trying to get in to position to lie next to her. Everybody on that long couch is lying parallel to each other, packed really tightly.

      I'm up on the roof of the house. All the roofs of neighboring houses are all located back to back next to each other, heading off into the horizon. They are colored light pastels: pinks, blues. People are in hot tubs on the top of the house, and they're talking very aggressively towards me [DS, I guess!]. I threaten them that I will pour the hot tub water down into their houses if they don't back off. This doesn't work and the kids from the hot tubs pursue me. I get back to the ground level and the kids are ganging up on me, throwing what looks like large Pop-Tarts at me. I am wondering if I should pick these things up and eat them!

      I'm on the street corner down at the end of the street. I'm doing tricks on a long skateboard with multiple trucks on it. It's raining. There's another guy on the other corner also doing tricks, and he sort of gets in my way.

      In a courtyard amongst buildings outside the woman's house, there is a big show, a young man is unveiling a massive (cubic meter sized) drone/robot/missile/thing made out of legos. He takes the thing take off and it looks like a missile, but it rapidly is transforming its shape as it swoops up and down and flies all around us at high speed, it is very impressive. Then the guy, since he's "against me" [DS], as a grand finale, flies the drone right at me and it hits me square in the face, since it's made of lego it doesn't hurt, it all falls to the ground in pieces around me. To show my disdain for this attack, I stomp on the pieces of the drone, completely breaking it so it can never fly again.

      In a pool outside the house, like a community pool. It is packed with people, and it is night/dark outside. In the distance, up a hill, I see the neighbor woman sitting on a chair. I sense and see that there are some guards (female) who are looking at me suspiciously from around a corner. I'm trying to avoid them seeing me [DS], I think they know that I'm not allowed to be here since I'm not a resident. There is a small boy pressing closely up against me from the right. His face is right up against mine, the view of his face is a bit out of focus, he's saying something (which I didn't understand?) and I detect the strong smell of alcohol coming from his mouth. The pool if very shallow (like a wading pool) and I'm moving about trying to stay out of view of the guards.

      Back in the hippy/woman house, the woman is there, me, and a few guys. I'm looking intently at the walls and ceiling of the house, which in almost every room has been stripped to the wall boards. I think that this is a tradition in this house: since the levels between the floors are so thick with so much material, the residents periodically strip down the walls /ceilings to the boards then add their decorations. In this case, the protagonist (not me, not here with us now) is planning to make a massive mural of the Great Wall of China all throughout the house (as a tribute to the woman?). I'm wondering and say, this will probably take many years, and you guys here with me, and the woman, may have already long graduated and left by the time the mural is finished. I can see the details of the wall boards and ceiling, and am studying these intently from room to room.

      [after recalling for about 10-15 minutes, time is 05:23]

      [later]

      + Standing with others (late wife? PaZi?) observing the hamsters (guinea pigs?) in their cage. The animals themselves are not seen. I notice the galvanized colored wire fencing that runs floor to ceiling around the cage. The openings in the fencing are about 1/2-inch squares. I notice the grey concrete floor of the cage, and notice that the poops have been neatly swept to one corner. The owner goes to throw in the food to feed the animals, using a long pole. I'm disappointed because I was hoping she'd open the fencing and we'd be able to interact with the animals. But I see they're very aggressive, they are a dark blur as they vigorously attack the pile of food.

      I notice that I've feeling something in my pants. I realized I've pooped in my pants, and I'm in a panic about this. I don't understand how this could have happened without me knowing. I wonder if the others can smell it (I don't)? I quickly move down the hallways on my way to the bathroom. I'm going to have to strip and wash everything and put it back on.

      I'm turning corners at right angles, always turning left. I enter a large-ish room there there is an Audi car parked. The driver is in the car and is moving to exit the room out of the entrance from which I entered. There is a wall/divider in the middle of the room, and I am moving to keep myself on the other side of the divider from the car and the driver, so he does not see me [DS]. As the car moves forwards, I change my position to remain unseen across the divider. I enter a long corridor on the way to the bathroom, and encounter a lot of (my? ours) clothes strewn about the floor very messily. I'm picking up pants, shirts, etc. as I go. I think about the notion of always wanting your kids to return home at any time to do laundry, etc. even when they're grown up.

      [waking]

      + Outside, near a train, out group is getting ready for a trip. I move to the back of the train but the way is blocked because the train is backed up completely against (a car?) behind it. I push the train, hoping to get it to move enough to let me get past, and am a bit surprised that it moves, I think there must have been some "slack" between the cars of the train or I never would have been able to move it. I open the high back window of the end of the train car to check the coal levels -- I discover that the coal compartment is not fully loaded up to the ceiling, like it should be. A group gathers to discuss this situation. I'm wondering how we're going to get this compartment filled -- will we have to order a coal cart to some here and shovel it in ourselves? I reach in and pick up a piece of the hard, black, rough-edged coal, about the size of a BBQ charcoal briquette, and put it back in.

      [waking]

      + arrive to pick up my instrument from the storage locker while the concert is beginning, the storage area has a clear door [DS](?). I think I've picked up a delivery just previously to this one from a storage container. I reach in and pick up my instrument case, and take it out, showing it to the people around. I look down and see a red-colored case through the case cover, and then I see that the case is opened and what I'm seeing is the red wood coloring of my instrument. I put the case carefully down on the ground and make sure that all the pieces are there and not falling out. I wonder if I am going to need to grab a fold-up music stand as well to use for the concert. The orchestra is already playing while I'm still setting up.

      I move to a closet (with white pillows/linens?) with a percussionist. He's talking about how he's going to know where his entrances are. I try repeatedly to say "you just need to learn the *context* of your entrances from the rehearsals", but every time I try to say something he keeps butting in and interrupting me. He eventually says what I wanted to say all along.

      Back in the chamber (darkened) with the musicians, they're announcing recognition awards. They announce my name, badly mispronouncing the final syllable of my last name. I say "What!?" and think the conductor very well knows the proper pronunciation of my name. I go to sit among the musicians, and sit there a while where more musicians are recognized. The ones called move through a curtain behind the orchestra. I'm sitting there a while then someone says I should go there, too, to be with the other recognized musicians. I move through the curtain. A group of the young musicians are mulling around, I'm wondering what we're supposed to do next. Some of them are lying on the ground at my feet to my right. A young lying (woman?) reaches up and takes my right hand in hers. I keep the contact, holding her hand, and looking down at her as I move a few steps forwards.
      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable
    7. 2020-10-14 nearly lucid, ultra vivid & present dream: cloud, flying, superman suit, clay people

      by , 10-14-2020 at 09:19 AM
      I have no idea where the asterisks are all coming from below. RC.

      early:
      + company parking lot [DS], thinking about parking. There is a path up and to the right.
      Later (different dream?) I'm standing at the top of a steep set of stairs, looking down into the parking area below. I realize I'm standing on the other side of the area where I was earlier (from my car) looking at and up the hill. I'm very careful selecting my footing as I begin to descend the stairway.

      + at work, with JoWei [company 3, B and N colleague], we're going to have lunch. At the counter, there is a choice between different colored aspics. The "chef" brings out different trays containing these aspics, colored brightly: purple, red, blue. They do not look very appetizing.

      + with [deceased] wife, we're walking in a mall (?) outside in the parking area, she says how, since I'm not around any more and don't visit her, she has had to ask BrZim (old lawyer friend who loved her) to come visit her. This makes me really sad. I think I should not be close to her or try to caress or kiss her since this would be inappropriate since we're not together any more [This led to dozing/waking? thoughts of sadness about our sometimes troubled relationship, and how I should have perhaps done more to be better]

      late:
      + (ultra-vivid/present, nearly lucid)
      It may have started within an office setting, I'm not sure of that.* *
      But where it really picked up, was: I'm sitting on a bench in a courtyard outside.* Bright sunshine, balmy California day.* * This area is the yard for a company where I do not work and where I do not know the people, yet I'm still hanging out with them.* *Across from me in a shady circle clearing two people (gender unclear) are playing pickup-jacks.* I watch the little ball bounce, I count along with them: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.* I don't see any jacks, though.* *One of them has a string attached to their hand.* * I am very content and comfortable.* I think I would really like to work here, because*it is so close to where I live, I would have a trivial commute.* *I'm looking around the fringe of the courtyard to the*surrounding buildings in the area as I think this.* There are people sitting to my left and right, I sense their heads in my peripheral vision, but don't look at them closely.* *I have* a feeling of serene happiness.* *I look up at the sky, it is bright and blue without a cloud.**

      Then entering from the left, an inky black roiling cloud blotting out the entire sky is moving rapidly towards us, from left to right.* *I stand up and make some comment (or it's a thought), about how I have to go now and don't want to stick around for that cloud, and with a thought about wondering what they think about my flying away, I do a superman take off and start flying to the right, to stay ahead of the cloud.

      I'm flying right* on the wavefront of the cloud, I'm partially within it, I look at it and see bits of things swirling about violently, wisps of cloud, rain perhaps.* *I will myself to fly faster to stay ahead of it.* I really focus on flying faster and faster to stay ahead of it.* I want to fly 2x, 3x faster.* * I turn around and continue flying away from the cloud (back-first) while I'm looking at it.* *I think if superman's suit was made to be water-repellant (meaning it reacts like a magnet to water, pushing the wearer away from the water), he could be able to effortlessly fly faster than any persuing*cloud, because the water vapor in the cloud would repel him away.

      Then I'm standing in a long featureless corridor.* I think (or someone says?) that if this were true, people could then manipulate and control superman by moving water around him to repel him into a place of their choosing.* I look down on the floor and there is a flat image of a smashed-up superman, presumably who suffered from this feature of his water-repelling suit.

      I move into an adjoining room.* *The visual quality sharpens and is super vivid.* *There are two (female-like) characters here.* *The substance of the room (walls & floors) and the people themselves are like clay models.* *But they're moving.* * Very sharp and vivid.* *The colors are: black, brown, deep red.* They both have black hair, but their bodies seem to be sculpted out of clay as well.* *Strange faces.* * I have a fleeting thought about sexual engagement with them since I detected their female-ness but did not pursue this.* I hear a man's voice from an adjoining room.* I enter the room (wondering if the* women are guards and will follow me), and there is another clay man there with similar features to the women, black hair, he's (training a young person?).* *There's a (clay?) bear?* *

      That's all I remember, I think I woke at that point.
      Categories
      memorable
    8. 2020-10-05

      by , 10-05-2020 at 12:20 PM
      Big dreaming night, and pretty good sleep. No extended insomnia.

      Got very tipsy, two large-ish glasses of wine.
      Ate fresh apple cake, two ice creams, bowl of chips.
      Had a happy attitude all evening.
      Watched videos before bed.
      Read a little bit before bed.
      bedtime ~23:30

      Taking a more relaxed attitude is everything.

      earlier:

      + floating in ocean, attacked by giant whale shark fish like thing, roll around to avoid its mouth getting eaten, it swims off eventually

      + guard at the doorway, I present my key to prove my right to be here, enter apt. see son S1? guard follows, the apartment has colorful but peeling walls, I'm a bit ashamed of the apartment

      later:

      + attending some big conference, (outside, preparing to go in)

      + playing wilderness golf?

      + car broken into and emptied. (after a meeting?) I go out to my car parked on the street. It's in the middle of an intersection? The blue ford fiesta? I see that it has been broken into, and completely stripped. It looks like there is nothing left inside. I am panicked and upset, I walk around the car looking for anything, but it's completely stripped. Even my registration is gone, totally empty. Even the jack has been stolen. Looking more, I see there is a door pocket/panel opened on the left side passenger door with some stuff left inside it, I wonder why they didn't take it. There's a police patrol car right next to me, and I'm blocking them and they're trying to get by, I stop them and tell them my car's been broken into.

      + scooter turned donkey ride! [very vivid, feelings of acceleration and gravity!]
      The best/most vivid dream of the night is probably the scooter-donkey ride. I was very closely inspecting [inspecting objects, thinking about them and how they work, especially with a close up view, is a sure DREAM SIGN for me. Very often this is door knob/gate locking mechanisms, and sink faucets] "my" scooter. I very clearly saw the gas in the trasparent gas tank sloshing around, interestingly, it seemed to be getting *fuller* rather than leaking out. I looked around back and found that it was leaking, and so I manipulated some things to close the container to stop the leak. I move around to the back of the scooter and inspect the various components that are hanging by their wires attached to the main corpus of the scooter. I line up one on the right hand side and attach it, using guide arrows, and do the same for another component, but on the left side of the scooter. Now a circular grey-scale display lights up with a control and gague system for the scooter and I start touching things to configure it. (There is some woman nearby who comments on something? Forgot...). My attention moves to the handlebars, and the left handlebar front brake control, which seems non-functional. It seems not attached to anything and just flapping there, I try manipulating it buy I get the sense it's not attached to anything. I look down to the front wheel as I'm doing this. I wonder about the maximum speed of this scooter, and the figure 35 MPH pops into my head. I imagine riding it and pushing on the handles to turn (like on a motorcycle, push left to go left, push right to go right). I mount the scooter, which now inexplicably has transformed into a small donkey! There is still a central circular display/handle and I now hold on to this and we take off. It is outside in daylight on a hilly country road setting with no trees. I "turn" the donkey to a side road that heads upwards, fairly rough gravelly/rocky terrain, and wonder if this thing has the strength to go long with me on it, and how well it will go uphill. The response is that it energetically sprints up the hill, very quickly, and *accelerates*! I feel the gravity and the acceleration as I strengthen my grip to hold on! We lurch forwards up the hill, turning towards the right. Now it seems that we are in some multi-townhouse division with a paved roadway/driveway, still hilly, still heading uphill. There are two men working in the road ahead, and I'm somewhat concerned about encountering them. As I pass them they do not seem threatening but are amused at my passage. Then something about turning downhill and giving a little girl a flower, but that is less clear.

      + walking through office with g/f L, we're in the printer room, there are large printer/copier devices there, they have colorful declas on the side, we kiss briefly in printer room, look at oddly colored and logoed printer/copiers, walk to cube, lots of people in close space close cubes, drinks cooler on ice on desk full of bottles of cold beverages, many of them motel-sized small drink bottles, many of them alcoholic, the manager there warns that some of those are very potent, I enter my cube, there's a team of young IT guys dismantaling routers there, wires are everywhere, they're asking me questions
      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable
    9. 2020-09-29 LDLD #256 girl at party, tunnel/stormtrooper, gathering, sleepless night

      by , 09-29-2020 at 10:52 AM
      bedtime, ~10:15pm, yay! finally!
      g/f (reading in bed on her phone) woke me mistakenly with sound on phone, boo, this put me off for the whole night. boooo!!!!
      around midnight, fell asleep again?
      2am woke
      awake until 7am!!!!! Up out of bed sitting in other room from 5-6am or so
      Felt like my ability to fall asleep was completely broken. I felt the "jerk" of approaching sleep many times but each time I jerked awake. I think this is hyper-alertness from a lot of day work and strong intent. It felt like the time I tried to WILD for 5 nights in a row and eventually lost the ability to fall asleep, with that same sensation of approaching sleep causing an "AHA! DREAM approaching!" reaction, preventing sleep.

      + girl at party, young for me, but I'm close with her, look at her face closely, odd-ish face, not exactly attractive, but I think I'd kiss her. Then she goes around to my back and hugs me from the back, and whispers into my left ear, "I like you....". I answer, "I like you too!" Her father (?) is in the room so I'm inhibited. She's in front of me again and I place my hands on her torso, feel her ribs, she seems a bit scrawny & overly thin.

      + LD #256 In a large, high-ceilinged, dimly lit, white room (more like an empty building with white walls), I'm lookin over my shoulder to the wall to the left of me, I quickly sense dreaming/dream location, not entirely sure yet, but I get up on top of the low solid white wall (it's like stucco) in front of me (like I'm in a loft or higher area above a lower area in front of me) I feel light and "feel like I can fly" so I lean forwards and glide ahead and to the right, and knew I was dreaming. fly through series of crystal-cave like narrow tunnels (little more than body width in diameter) that keep extending into the distance. Fly through areas that keep extending 3-4 times. The visuals are dark gray-scale coloring. lucidity fairly high. play with colors, I declare the "next area will be green" and colors appear in the distance (blue/green). Visuals fade, I expect them to return, and they quickly do, see something in the distance, and approach an area like in a Star Wars game, a section of dark corridor in front of me opening into a small round-ish brightly lit room with equipment, an automated turret or other machinery on the ceiling, that becomes a droid or a stormtrooper as I approach. I pull my lightsaber from my belt (always works! It's always there) and ignite it, get a good solid lightsaber sound, but no visuals [as always]. I will it to be solid and bright, I say or think "be BRIGHTER!" "be BRIGHTER" several times and I get a weak transparent green cylinder to appear. The robot/ trooper approaches, and I wave the lightsaber about to attack, as if I'm slicing it, but it's like a flashlight, no inertia or weight, and I think it's not doing anything. I'm past the trooper and I'm inspecting the surroundings, very detailed and bright, numerous objects are lying about, I move on through this room into an adjoining room, where 3-4 people are sitting / reclining on low chairs or chaise lounges. Some are female and I get the idea for "a bit of fun" (but I want to keep it short and quickly move on, to avoid waking). Visuals are very clear and crisp.
      Spoiler for light sexy-time:
      and I wake up.

      + [vivid, mostly forgotten due to abrupt awakening] another gathering, fairly long, party book, photos & sheets printed, cousin?
      Categories
      lucid , memorable
    10. 2020-09-20 LDLD #254 #255 -- motorcycle ride, cabbage basketball, first day at work

      by , 09-20-2020 at 10:03 AM
      meta:
      -------
      bedtime: 23:00-30?
      waking: 01?
      waking: 03?
      shocked awake 03:30 neighbor cutting firewood
      Not making progress falling asleep , get up & sit in other room.
      final waking 08?
      Long time recalling dreams
      get up: 09?
      Fairly tipsy at dinner time, several glasses of wine. Steak & salad for dinner, plus remainder of our desserts (cheesecake and a chocolate cake thing), then our apple pie while watching a video
      Watched video before bed

      dreams:
      -----------

      early:
      + motorcycle ride on highway, turn right onto highway, a guy riding a fast (black) motorcycle streaks by me, weaving in and of traffic. I'm riding along and I come up on a guy riding a standard, I like the standard style and think about this. I think it's a Honda, and I'm weaving left and right of him to get a look at the model name on the gas tank but can't quite see it, but I think it's a Honda. The highway veers off to the left and I take the off-ramp to the right, I think I'm heading to city "A" (next to home city of B), the landscape is empty low hills. As I come to a stop sign I try to remember where the breaks are, on the left or the right handle. I remember the right handle, and squeeze the right handle bar break lever and push the right food lever. As I come to a stop I remember at the last minute that I need to downshift to first and quickly push down my left foot on the shift lever and click it a bunch of times to get to first gear. I start again and go slowly, this is not a powerful bike, but I feel like I'm holding up traffic and pull back on the throttle and speed up. The road goes up and to the right, then heads down, these are tight turns, very twisty, and I get the impression this road is not heading to a city but out into the wilderness. I have a feeling that I won't be able to make it back if I continue (I forget I'm on a motorcycle? I'm worried about the uphill portions on the return trip). I stop on a landing and look around, and a guy on a bike zooms approaching from the other direction up the hill, not visible because of the sharp elevation change, and jumps into my vision in the air and continues off, from my right to my left. I look around and see vague collections of orange-ish blurry dots in the distance. All around, spread out among the hills all around me, I think these are camp fires.

      + I'm playing basketball. I can't make a shot, and even layups won't go in. I'm playing with a cabbage instead of a basketball? I can't even make a simple layup. My opponents are goaltending and just blocking all my shots, really dominating me. The cabbate is in a large bucket of water/brine and a big leaf separates from the head and floats in the water.

      later:
      + [epic, long, vivid, fairly present, two lucid moments]: I arrive to a new job at company N, I'm really happy and proud to be here. I'm walking in the corridor between cubicles in a large indoor office space. I show off my new badge on my right hip one of those id badge roller things. It is a sort of brownish mottled looking design without a picture, I think it's just a temporary badge. I soon come to a cubicle where a young guy is, blonde hair, (name of "Claus?"), I have a long technical conversation with him about the C model he's been working on (for 3 years?), he's finishing up this work.

      I walk about some more, I see boyhood best friend MR and my mom approaching me down a corridor between offices (the wall) on the left and cubes on the right, there are people in front of them and I try to catch their eyes from a distance. I feel like MR meets my eyes and that we will have a mutual recognition, but it will be a surprise for him. My mom comforts a woman in front of her, a widower who lost her husband recently, my mom hugs her from the back but the woman doesn't want the comfort and shakes her off, the woman has a very pinched, bird-like face, it's an old, wrinkled face, 80+ years old. Her husband, someones [narrator?] says [or I remember?], was the man who saved Ev.McW.'s father [boy scout friend] [false].

      Walking among the cubes, I see a tray of cookies, and I pick one up and take it with me and eat it. It is a medium size, circular, with a moist chocolate filling center, and surrounded by a ring (about 1/4 inch) of sprinkled seeds like sesame seeds.
      I come across a guy and see his face clearly. At first I think it is RoWh, but Rob was fairly fat and this guy is thin. He's standing facing me, and I'm looking close at his face trying to place him. I say "I'm sure I've worked with you before." He and some other woman comment on the "tatoo" on my lip and this confuses me. They're talking about the cookie crumbles on my face and I'm a bit ashamed of this. Standing among the cubes, these people are now in their cubes and are wearing masks. I say that "I've been away from the workplace so long that I forgot that people wear masks now," and I'm concerned about the fact that I forgot to bring a mask and wonder where I'll get one.

      I'm wondering now about the day's schedule, and if there will be an orientation. I find (or she finds me) my HR person managing my first day and she hands me a schedule. I look at it and see a number of hand written notes, and think the first entry is about 2pm, and I feel relief that I haven't missed anything because it must be far from 2pm still.

      The HR lady brings me to a demonstration that a team is putting on on an open floor area. There are tons of little lego pieces spread evenly out over about a 1-square meter area. I step over this and try to avoid stepping on any of the pieces. The word "minefield" is spoken by somebody behind me. The demonstration begins, and little active "AI" pieces that look like flies, with ltitle moving legs, are gathering all the loose pieces together into a single flat area/pile so that there is no space left. This is using AI technology. That's the whole point: to gather up the pieces and bring them all together into an area with no space between them. The HR lady is also watching, she's wearing a white tank top and shorts, and she squats with with her knees out widely to watch the AI presentation.

      + [different scene?] I'm in mall walking among stores. I'm nose pinching to determine if I'm dreaming. The air seems blocked, but not completely. I can't tell if I'm dreaming or not. I keep repeating the nose pinch 3, 4, 5 times. Each time it seems like some air gets out but it's not flowing easily like it should. I concentrate on the feeling of my fingers on my nose, and it feels completely solid like a waking nose. I know that the nose pinch in a dream should feel like my airway is not connected to my dream body nose, but it seems in this case that it is. Unclear results of the RC [but I'm counting this!]

      + [back to the work dream] It's time for lunch now for the new hires, mingling with the employees. Standing in some corridor among the cubes, leaning up against a wall on a corner between hallways. The cost of lunch is $1.75. I'm not sure if the new hires are supposed to pay or not. I bring out my wallet and prepare three $1 bills. I'm trying to be coy about this and get somebody to say "no no new hires don't need to pay." A very large (tall and wide) screen across the open area on a far wall is displaying the two major lunch groups, with the names of long-time employees [so we can decide which group we want to be in?]. I go in. I see meet a guy I think I may know. He shakes my hand. He makes a gesture like "woah, your hand used to be all the way out here when you shaked before, you've lost a lot of weight." And then Ne.McK. (grad school friend) is there, I recognize him, he pulls up his shirt to show his abdomen, that he's lost weight, too.

      I'm now thinking about someone else I knew, Jo.Sa. from high school. I can imagine his face, but have forgotten his last name. I think he's a colleague here, too. I'm wracking my brains trying to remember his first name, even though I know he worked at company A [true], he works at this company N now I think? I finally "remember" his last name, "PUSHKIN!" I exclaim. I ask the guys "hey, does he have Russian roots?" They say yes, "his family were landholders." I am excited to learn this information, and pump my first in the air and exclaim "Yes!"

      + I'm standing [still at work] at a printer(?) station. There is a young woman there, and a colorful scene/patch of sky across from me even though there's no window, and I'm looking at the quality of the colors and the clarity of her face, because I know it's a dream, and I want to examine how things look and feel in a dream.

      [wake]

      + I'm in a vague indoor area with slanted floors on different levels. I'm carrying something and I put in in a shopping cart to bring it along with me. My old boss from comany P (in NY) is there, riffing on a guitar. He's quite good and the music is interesting. I think he's going to come with me on my walk through these rooms and he'll keep playing his guitar.
      Categories
      lucid , memorable
    11. 2020-02-05 selected dreams from the last weeks

      by , 02-05-2020 at 06:41 PM
      2020-01-21
      + [long, vivid, near epic level] at home with the Gl gaggle in their huge new house, exploring inside, outside, breakfast, meeting with them in different rooms, life in the outdoor pond (fish, crabs, crayfish)

      Outside a home among the pines, I'm with AmGlsn talking to her, (I'm congratulating her on the home purchase?) It's located along a main road (heading to lake Tahoe?). I see the house -- it is very large, maybe two-story building with blue tinted glass windows. I think I recognize the building as being built on the site of a gas station I remembered my family would stop at on the way to Tahoe [false]. I walk up to the building and see what used to be a central gas pumping island (dark army green?). Then I'm inside the home looking around. One of the rooms is a tiny-closet sized barely large enough to walk into and turn around. I think this is strange room. Outside, people are sitting down on a terrace and eating breakfast, there are several groups of people. I look out beyond to the lush vegetation beyond the terrace. [I see an alligator?]

      I go walking through the plants and come to a large pond area surrounded by a tall concrete fence. JsGlsn [father] is there doing some work inside a small door opening into the concrete fence, and I imagine he's going to be crawling through this tunnel. Then JsGlsn and I are standing on a board floating in the pond. I look down through the completely clear/transparent water and see creatures/fish there [DREAM SIGN]. I think I see a crayfish. Then the board moves and reveals a very large collection of crayfish, fish, and other creatures crawling around.

      I'm back in the house sitting at a table with AmGlsn and some of the kids. I see her face, it is quite odd with strange teeth. The kids are playing some games or doing some crafts. Later, I'm sitting at a piano and playing some pieces I know.

      2020-01-24
      + our car is pranked on Ced st. in B by the large groups of Halloween pranksters. We're driving towards Shtk away from the hills. They are throwing water balloons, and a water balloon ends up going through the sunroof and into our car. I'm FURIOUS and yell at the pranksters; friend MkRb sniffs the privates of the knitted animal; cousins on the way back up Ced; our car is driving on high sidewalks on Spr st., heading towards GrzPk, I'm concerned about the car being on the sidewalk. We reach a dead end which is a tiny cul-de-sac with very high (15 feet) concrete walls all around -- we can ago no further. I climb the fence and look over it to see how we can continue. A guard dog races towards me and morphs into an attack woman. I'm walking on the other side of the block moving on and the woman morphs to small girl and we walk in to a Chinese restaurant. We are seated at the table, and the girl across from me finds a fly in her milkshake, the waiter comes by, and she shows it to him, it's fairly larage. The waiter then gives us a demonstration of a freezer at the table, he is messing around with stuff inside it showing it to us.

      2020-01-27
      + The Tale of "Mair Baku" -- a Welsh aristocracy party: inside a super swanky castle environment, I decide to go to the billiards room. There is a large pitcher of a beverage on a table insdie. I watch the game on the odd billiard table: when a ball is struck, it doesn't roll, but instead the entire felt of the table scrolls and pulls the ball along with it, I think this is an interesting way for a pool table to work. The balls themselves are misshapen ceramic lumps (kind of like raw unwashed beets).

      There is a hall where a young woman is dressed in a wedding gown and a photographer is taking her picture. The whole scene is very fancy and I imagine that this is all taking place in a story called "The Tale of Mair Baku" where "Mair" means some Welsh land-holding and "Baku" is its name. I see this text (on the wall? floating in the air?) written in very swoopy ornate cursive.

      Outside there is a large courtyard with farm-like stalls (with animals?) there are various rooms in the building across the courtyard with various diversions but I decide not to get involved in any of them.

      I'm outside the castle moving around and looking at the castle from outside -- it is very large with a high wall with a walkway on top. I imagine that a burglar could move along that walkway and perhaps kidnap a child from within the castle.

      I have a sort of overhead map now of the area and I'm heading for a break in the building and moving towards what looks like a coast/beach with a river. It seems to be a very steep slope up to (down from?) the sand to the water. Walking along the water's edge among tall palm trees, I look back to see a man with a dog is walking behind me, they walk past me without taking notice.

      I decide to take off flying. I want to gain altitude, but I'm hovering and not going very far up. The sky above me is a clear, pure blue. I think of flying iron-man-style (with rocket propulsion coming out of my feet and hands), and eventually this takes root and I gain a lot of altitude quickly. I think "there, it finally worked."

      From the sky, in the distance, I see a public swimming facility. I imagine there may be some nice bikini-watching opportunities so I fly down there. I land in the water and engage briefly with a young woman there, then wake up.

      2020-02-02
      + swamp escape: [Disembodied Observer] following flight of young man through a swampy river. He runs away into the river to get away from somebody/thing, the water is a bright green. He makes some comment [Forgotten] about there being vegetation in the water and I look and see that he's talking about a very large, dense collection of seaweed-like plants there that he must get through. Moving down the waterway, there are living spaces placed on top of huge (several meters in diameter) old ancient tree stumps that are about 15 feet high: I look at one as I drift by and see an informal hut-style home build there. Some people are pounding on large dead logs of fallen trees in the middle of the river, I think they use these for their building materials.

      WBTB
      [super vivid/present, alternate life level immersion]
      Spoiler for some light sexy-time:


      I look around the room and see that there are a lot of people here and think/say this. There are too many and I want privacy. I get up from the bed and walk into the center of the room where most of the people are standing around a tall round-ish table with food on top of it (a buffet). I'm thinking I want to go to a hotel with the girl and will invite her to do so.

      Standing at the table looking at the food I feel something under my right elbow and look down an see a little girl with medium long hair has put her head under my elbow, she is funny/cute and I (muss her hair?) and move my attention back to the table. I see and pick up a small Indian pakora of some kind and eat it, it has a bitter taste.

      I walk around the table clockwise to the left and notice the room has tall windows and bright sunlight is streaming in and lighting up the (women?) who are sitting on chairs right in front of the window and between the table and the window. I'm thinking about a class and a reading assignment, I think I should be doing the reading.

      My attention is squarely on the table now and I'm trying to find the tasty stuff. There are various hot dishes (rice, other unknown things) in covered dishes/trays. I move back to the right and have to walk around a rather fat woman and her large butt, she is leaned over the table also looking for tasty things. I spontaneously start singing Arthur's Theme (Christopher Cross) and hear the piece playing. The woman (and some of the others?) starts to sing along and I find this amusing, then wake up...
      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable
    12. 2020-02-01 vivid, longer dreams: B Burglary, Animal Man, Fired, Peaches, Skiing/Pteradactyl Tree

      by , 02-01-2020 at 05:28 PM
      @~4 hours?
      + B Burglary: I'm walking down my driveway at CH and see the garage door is ajar, I go in and through the door from the garage into the house. Did I leave the doors open? We may have been robbed! On the top of the stairs I look in and my fears are realized: where the washer and dryer used to be in the back porch (before they were moved in WL to the garage), there are only two large vacant squares on the ground. I move through the first floor of the house and all the large items (chests of drawers) are all gone -- some burglar has cleaned us out! I call the police from the hallway intersection between the back porch/dining room/front entry, something about it's pointless? I see a large pitcher of orange juice?

      Then I'm (sitting on the floor) in the dining room (on the deck side of the dining table) facing the kitchen, a portly cop is standing by the entrance to the kitchen, and my BF MkRbk is sitting at the table. I see one of the burglars hiding behind some curtains immediately next to the cop, and a second burglar is behind a chest of drawers on my left. I start frantically miming to the cop and pointing without wanting to say anything to give away the fact that I see the burglars, trying to get him to see them. The burglar to my left is now standing by MR right by the cop, M slowly (too slowly for my taste) grabs him, I yell at him "grab him around the neck!". Both burglars have very large knives (switch-blades?), the left burglar in his hand, and the right one on his belt at his hip. I reach for the knife of the left burglar hoping to grab it before he can use it on the cop. I take it (it's large, about a foot long) and hand it to the cop.

      The burglars have been apprehended and I'm standing looking closely at the face of the right one, he's quite young. I say SL "It's easy to go around looking for houses that have been left open, eh?" He doesn't really answer but makes some sort of grunt in response.

      @~6 hrs
      + (f) Animal man: [part of story forgotten?) There is a guy who raises sheep, chickens, etc. I see the animals, it's an outdoor scene, (the animals are walking around between abandoned cars?)

      @~8 hrs, final waking:
      + Hired&Fired: I'm doing (something?), I'm called in to my manager's office (sort of a tiny little separate house), he's my friend CrgLe from college, and there's some other guy there (his assistant?). C tells me I've been summoned to HR/management.
      I'm then sitting in a chair with HR and management. They're already firing me, after just having recently hired me. They hand me a folder with the severance package in it. I open it and see a dark/black hard-to-read document with some numbers written on it, compensation for the firing. Executive says (something)? [Dialogue forgotten]. This meeting lasts a while.
      I'm wondering if I'll be able to sell all the stock I was promised, or if I'm going to lose it. I think I might be able to still sell it. I'm go back to my manager's little house office. He is alone there. I ask him about the stock. He says "you should get out of here, before [the executive] sees you!" He fired all these people and doesn't want to see any of them.

      + Peaches: outdoor picnic-type table scene with people. I see a group in front of me. RbWhlr has brought a platter piled high (1 foot at least) with thick slices of peaches. These look good and even though I'm not really part of the group, I lean forwards and take a thick slice off of the plate. RW says ST. I look at the slice -- it's not just a peach, it's more an amalgam of dried fruit and chopped nuts.

      + Skiing/Pteradactyl Tree: I'm at the top of a ski run on a snowy mountain, I'm skiing with (EW?). A ski resort employee off to the left says something. We start skiing down the hill. We are carving left and right on a relatively wide, flat slope. EW demonstrates how, if you're not careful, you might accidentally spin 180 and start skiing backwards, out of control, she does this. We're progressing down the slope. It's important (she says, or I think?) not to let your skiis go straight, or you will pick up dangerous speed very rapidly. This happens to me, but I get it under control. There are steep cliffs on either side of us. The slope levels out to a flatter area and I say "Hey it's good that it's more level here". We ski up to drop-offs but avoid them. There is another really big cliff coming up, it is marked with a sign, and there is a resort employee sitting there, too. There is some strange object, like a bunch of iron-man-style ski boots stacked up on the ground with sharp, angular protrusions. I notice a stone stairway leading down the hill, and I imagine that skiiers use this to climb up to the cliff area. The stairway has no snow on it.

      I look around and take notice that the ski resort stone structures on the ground look artificial -- it's like the entirely mountain we're skiing on (which now seems to be mostly lacking in snow) has been modified by man to make it a better skiing mountain. I raise my gaze up and look at the surrounding (natural) mountains in the distance, which have patches of snow on them. I'm looking up at a nearby neighboring really tall peak and am searching for signs of the "Pteradactyl Tree," I see some very large trees, but at the top of that peak I finally see the Pteradactyl tree itself with a large man-made stone foundation at its base.

      My view of the PT is closer, and I see two circling pteradactyls flying in the air -- they are artificial (like stuffed animals) and I think very furry. I'm pointing these out to my mother, (dialogue forgotten). I'm in an elevator with my sister, and she makes a comment about wanting chips and I think about melted nacho cheese. There is a PT staff member man there in the elevator.

      Then there's a scene of a musical performance put on by the staff: that man, and a woman are the star perfomers. The woman is singing (not all that well) a song and doing a dance, moving towards me then away from me, and she is trying to hit a high note in the song that is normally sung by the man, she's trying to give a demonstration of how well she can sing, but I think the has done a pretty bad job of it.

      Then I'm in an after-show-party area, with a variety of long tables set with large cocktail glasses (white tablecloth?). They are starting to serve the cocktails, something fruity with ice in the classes. I surreptitiously drink one cocktail down completely and am thinking how I'm going to get even more from the serving, as if I had not drunk at all. At that point an old work colleague Matt (last name?) comes in and they head to a side table and they've managed to acquire a bunch of the pizza and drinks the staff were going to serve. He comes over to me and he starts to roll up and stuff this very large pizza into my very large cocktail glass. But then he (or a person next to me) says "people who like pizza like it flat, not all rolled up."
      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable
    13. 2019-03-01 night full of vivid & present dreams

      by , 03-01-2019 at 02:01 PM
      early:
      + guy standing under a tree with a car up in the branches which falls and hits the ground near him, and I laugh saying "you have to learn how to pay attention!" and I show him how to pay attention to what's around me and I see lots of little baby owls up on a ledge on a wall nearby

      + standing in home looking outside at the street through a window and I see a brigade of foreign-looking workers arrive and set up what I think is a fake construction project. I think it's a front for burglary. I panic and knew I should have kept the phone number of the security team nearby for exactly such a circumstance, I'm so nervous I can't figure out where it is or how to call them. Later walking outside along a road in between fenced properties.

      later:
      + at the river (with wife), is that a stone sticking up out the water? no, it's a fish fin, large round ball-shaped fish, jumps out, swallows my hand, it deflates like an empty plastic bag. There's another one in the water swimming near the shore. See more fish swimming in the river, like trout. I'm holding a fishing rod and I realize I've caught a beaver! I try to reel it in. Then it's on the bank with me and I call to (my wife?) to say how we could study the beaver's habits like how it builds dams.

      + at dinner (restaurant) table sitting next to Mr. R--d (scoutmaster), who concludes "...and so that's why prison is the best environment for me." The food he orders comes... it's chicken wings and onion rings and I'm disappointed. I want to order something. I'm trying to describe a food I want to order like a chicken pot pie.

      + flying DO (with wife?) over houses, looking down on them, see that the residents are not there and that there are open doors I think we could enter that property. Flying on the way back there's an open refrigerator with food particles strewn all about, "what a mess" I think.

      + a bunch of guys in superman costumes standing on a sort of ledge suffering through an unpleasant outdoor group exercise program led by a hot young woman. They all misunderstood because the title of the exercise class had the word "sex" in it. I save the day and encourage everyone to continue and the instructor's mood picks up and continues the class.

      + There are large/funny groundhogs popping up out of holes. Something about an old car? I see a bow-hunting warrior princess and I try to run away from her down a side road but she comes after and chases me. I pull out a knife on her and she laughs because it's so small. I join in and laugh with her about the knife being really puny. Then I pull out a nice long blade and whack it against her bicycle tires.

      + standing in my home looking out a window at the road, and I realize with surprise that I'm seeing a large school yard across the road full of young students playing. I think that I'm only seeing this for the first time because we just recently cut down all the trees lining my property and now the schoolyard is exposed. There is a particularly well-developed young woman in the group walking from right to left and I'm trying to check her out but something is getting in the way.

      + at a home, with kids and wife, the kids are going somewhere with wife, and wife chastises me saying "you have to help cleaning up". "Of course," I answer, and look forlornly around at the tremendous mess in the house, mostly large piles of Lego pieces strewn all over the place.
      Categories
      memorable , non-lucid
    14. 2017-12-12 some vivid and present dreams!

      by , 12-12-2017 at 06:48 AM
      + pondering fruit (apples in particular), on trees, pear,pick it, need to wash it, outside CH, pull the water hose to me with TK, wash stuff, the big pile of money on the neighbor's fence gets wet and knocked down, I goto mom asking hey can you keep this who's is it?

      + in old CA home, S1's room, S1 small is there, room is rearranged, I take him on my lap and I ask him if he likes his new room and he says yes. There are pencil drawings on the floor near the wall. In hallway bathroom I look around a long time. It is filthy. Dirt and grime everywhere. I say I need to clean it. Head down on the floor, there are piles of dirt everywhere. I see two hamsters who have come to live there, then 4 hamsters, then a couple of hedgehogs. [visually vivid, present]

      + in bed with [deceased] wife, she was just away for the summer. How will I explain this to my g/f? This means I won't ever see g/f again, or it will be very rare, I certainly won't be able to stay overnight. Wife starts yelling at me about something and I get up and leave the room. I try to remember how I met g/f then finally remember [emotionally vivid, present]

      + in some back yard playing with model planes with g/f, she flies it expertly and I take a turn at the controls and it barely moves for me, I'm ecstatic when I get it to the elevation of a table top . The engine sounds like a gas lawnmower. [present](edited)
      + at a flea market, I'm at a table and a man instructs me to purchase the cover to Ronald Reagan's diary. In another moment of deja vu I think this is the 2nd time I'm seeing the cover but the first time was black and white and this time it's in color. I'm searching for his signature on the front of the cover, and finally find it. There are many other signatures on the cover, I think these are from his relatives and teachers, couselors, etc. I note it is indeed an empty hardback cover: there is no diary inside, and that it was taken out because it was much more valuable than the cover. I'm thinking the objects that I've purchased I intend to resell, but I'm not sure how much I can get for them.

      + [DO - disembodied observer] it is a deathmatch race, a huge red truck is coming down the hill and making a turn, and does something so that the surrounding cars all to flips and explode, but a small red race car makes it through the pack and slams into the big truck, I see metal fenders on both vehicles are getting crumpled, then a guy in an "iron man" suit jumps out of the big truck and directly challenges the little car, grabbing it by the front and s
      + at some competition. I'm raiding an enemy team, I forcibly take the (vinly record?) from them, but it turns out to have been a redirection and they have made a move for the record player. I get there in time before they can turn it on to play the record. I keep it in my hand and encounter the referee of the match and he tells me to (throw it down to the ground?) I then float over my team's table where we're assembling intricate electronic components.

      + sitting down at the table of a group dinner party. This is a room separate from the others, everyone at the table is a stranger except my g/f is sitting next to me (to my left). I have a moment of deja vu as I see the woman to her left sitting down and think "that's the time when she sat there," and I think that the people here at the table do want to sit close, so as to be able to join in the conversation . I say to the table about how we have our own private room. Then it comes time to go outside (in our swim suits?), and my g/f appears standing next to me in skimpy underwear, the guys's eyes at the table bug out looking at her. Someone comments "she's naked, she doesn't have a swim suit!" Outside peope are also sitting at tables and a young boy complains to me that he got put at the old folks' table, and he's going to be bored.
      pretty good night, woke a lot
      Categories
      memorable
    15. 2017-04-15 super vivid & present / alternate life, multiple semi-epics

      by , 04-15-2017 at 12:26 PM
      bedtime finally not atrocious: head hit the pillow at 00:40. Some intention setting and affirmations before bed.

      Lots of dreams. Probably more that noted here, no recording until final waking, and epics tend to obliterate earlier dreams. 18 minutes of voice notes!

      early:

      Quick notes:

      + rental car, mustang, white doors closing, keys (could steal), dealer, "not too overpowered", (shakes his head), I think I could gun it later.

      + [semi-epic] at guy's house, dog holding ear, nanny & girl (?), in house alone, semis entering his garage, police come, "he was going to murder you in one hour"

      + police on streets on hill: look down, swanky party busted by cops; indoors, leading regent gives speech, appoints new chancellor of University: JH (boy scouts, frizzy hair): grizzled, old, red eyes, he can barely talk, he makes no sense, I feel sorry for him

      + DO: watching video of ME at (high school graduation?): who filmed me? View fully zoomed and centered on my face: tears are streaming down my eyes. I'm singing along with the other students: (national anthem?) no sound: my eyes are doing weird things, like rolling back in my head, I'm really embarrassed, I didn't know that I was being filmed.

      + football scrimmage, "C vs. C" overhead view: lots of laterals, tackling.

      later:

      + [semi-epic] in my "kitchen": burger meal on plate, big crowd of guests appear, can't eat now, make tea for everyone, boil water, girl talks about helping her learn how to catch balls, back in kitchen burger is still on plate, but fries/side dishes are gone burger is alone, I sneak a quick, big bite of it stuffing it into my mouth, guy friend walks up just then, great I think, just as I bite, I look for tea in the cabinets, open cabinet and many colorful packages, take out two fancy tea packs: one on right has white flakes in it, lots of dried fruit?, pack on left is dark red/brown pieces of tea like roiboos.

      + [semi-epic] at the theater: I'm in balcony, leaning over railing to the right and talking to a girl and a guy on ground floor, discussion of school, I start to say "enjoy your final years of school" but realize I don't know how many years she has left or is graduating, girl says something like "(help me?) and I'll give her to you (girl sitting behind me?) the play begins I decline I lift my left arm and put it around my (date? wife?) on my left she leans in puts her head against mine, attention moves to the stage:

      Guy from former work [N] has thinning hair is acting on stage, he's with another guy, there's a fight, one guy really slugs the other one on the back/shoulder and the hit guy's body tremors. One guy produces bills ($50 / $100 / $200) the $200 one (close up) I know is fake, it has some random guy's picture on it, it's pretty funny though. Then the guy and girl I was talking to earlier are on center stage and the guy produces some blue windex-looking stuff

      + On U lake in boat, wind, calm behind Rt island, I think I haven't been here a long time and want to next time take the boats to the island, study Rt island closely, it is not quite right, too many trees and there are other little rocks in the water
      Categories
      memorable
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