• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

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    Memorable Dreams

    1. 2023-08-05 LUCIDD LD#292 camo cars, huge grp of ppl, cruise, taxi/bus ride, DJ, FA

      by , 08-05-2023 at 11:45 AM

      Colors: Lucid, Semi-lucid, Non-lucid
      [comment from waking] in angle brackets
      (comment / clarification from dreaming) in parentheses
      Abbreviations: DS = dream sign, CH = childhood home, S1/S2 = sons, S/O = someone, S/A = something about, [f] = fragment, b/r = bathroom trip, Wn = waking #n, BT = bedtime, OOB = final out of bed time in morning, DO = Disembodied Observer

      Summary of the Night
      • BT: ~23:35, OOB: ~07:39, fitbit score: 86 (7:05 asleep, 0:47 awake, 1:14 deep, 1:15 REM), med right before bed
      • Wakings:
        1. 01:59 b/r, no recall
        2. 05:05, b/r, recall, Super long BTS. Probably 1-1.5 hours. Possible light sleep, but felt awake. Took off blanket, cooled off, put it back on later. Physical relaxation pretty simple, but mental relaxation harder. SSILD cycles to direct the relaxation help somewhat. Need to find a way to release the mind faster.
        3. 07:27 final waking, excellent recall

      W2: Camouflage Cars
      Outdoors, I see what I think are army cars driving by me. I notice that they have white and black spotted camouflage. I think they blend in well to winter. I watch them drive by me. Then I see a large field of people walking towards me, hundreds of people. Many are carrying a Ukrainian flag. They walk towards me and past me as I stand in their midst.

      W2: Political rally
      Observing a political rally. They're talking about their plans? They're rallying against a new law? [Vague/forgotten]

      W3: Boat cruise [vivid, fun, interesting, decent presence]
      Inspecting the naval vessels
      I'm outside on the water (on some ship?) observing a large vessel sailing from my right to my left, I'm quite close by. It is colored naval green/gray, and I think this is a naval / military ship. There are others. Then I see that they are moored all together, I'm looking at them all from the stern, they are sort of knocking up against each other. Then I have a close up view of the stern of one of the vessels. It is covered in military equipment. I'm looking for gun emplacements but don't see any, what I do see are very intricate guidance systems (that are used for aiming missiles/guns?). There are a lot of wires leading all over the place. The guidance system looks sort of like a gun emplacement but there is no barrel, but what seems to be two long telescopes or microphones set in parallel about 2 feet apart upon a swiveling stand. I imagine (see/hear?) that there is a female black navy guard who's job is to say "don't touch things" or "get off the boat", and that she is located in a high place so she can see everything going on at ship level.

      Cruise Begins
      I'm standing on the back of a medium sized boat. It is a boat taking people on a cruise to nearby sights on the bay/ocean. I am a sort of stowaway, I don't have a ticket. I'm standing on the rear left corner of the ship on the "bumper" that is right at water level. There are other people (official passengers) standing to my right on the bumper. I look down as the ship is moving, and I see the churning water from the propellers right there next to me. I think it's quite dangerous, and that anything that falls into that water would be sucked in to the propellers from the (Bernoulli) forces and chopped up. A girl wants to go by me around the perimeter of this bumper so I step aside, and she goes around and there is a bar there and she makes a drink (?), then comes back?

      White Sand Lagoon
      Then I'm observing the water: we're now motoring through a narrow channel, just a few yards wider on each side of the ship, and it's very choppy, like a rushing river, I have some thoughts about this scene. Then we're located in a large, calm lagoon, the water is still and clear. The bottom of the lagoon, about 20-30 feet deep, is shining bright white sand. I didn't know that there was any white sand like this in this part of the world. A girl (same one from earlier?) says: "Let's jump in" ("Let's do a cannon ball?"). I'm a bit hesitant, but I decide what the heck, and I jump in. I think, this is ocean water, so it will be salty. I open my eyes to look around, I see a small sea creature (like a jellyfish) and I again admire the bright white sand on the bottom of the lagoon. I surface and spend about half a minute trying to brush my bangs out of my eyes. No matter what I do they keep falling back immediately, obscuring my sight. After this goes on for a while I sort of laugh, I think the situation is amusing. The girl is still there.

      Buffet Party
      Inside the ship in a large party room, there is a party going on. A lot of people. There is a buffet of various food dishes there. I go to one with the girl and look at it, it is something like chunks of turkey meat with a lot of toothpicks on top. I'm studying this for a while, I'm trying to decide which toothpicks are new and which ones have been used and placed back. I say it's always hard to figure out which ones are new. The girl says it's easy: the ones lying horizontally are used, the ones standing vertically are new. I pick up a vertical one and take up a piece of meat and eat it. A (small boy?) criticizes the dish as being non-vegan (?), and I answer by saying "it is excellent protein!"

      W3: Taxi ride [fairly vivid, present]
      Start the ride
      I've just gotten in to the taxi (at the airport?). I'm sitting in the back seat. I see a small (like 2-seat) propeller airplane taking off on the runway, heading right for us. At the last moment it pulls up and takes off flying over us. I expect the driver will eventually ask me where we're going, but he doesn't. I have a lot of trouble speaking, I feel like I can't communicate my thoughts. I say "Can you go to Pe...ky?" He says "sure!". I know that that is not my final destination, that I have to go further. I'm wondering why I need to take two different taxis/modes of transportation, can't this guy just take me to my final destination? I ask and he says yes, of course. I was wondering if it would be too far out of his way. Might as well go with just one trip. Then we're driving through the intersection next to my CH, I recognize it, but don't say anything. I feel like I should get off here but I don't want the driver to know where I live.

      Lovely trees/flowers
      We're driving on a street, up ahead in the distance I see a huge rhododendron plant/tree. On either side of us are flowering trees/vines, there are many colorful flowers. I comment on how lovely they are. I think they grow so well because of the warm weather here.

      End of trip
      The taxi is now a mini-bus and we're pulling in to a courtyard that is the front yard (vastly expanded) of my CH. (Roundabout?) Some people get off, and I'm a bit slow in getting off and the driver closes the door and is about to drive away, I call out "Wait! I'm getting off here." My taxi driver is a middle-aged white man seated behind me and to my left. I ask him "Do you have a <business card, in foreign language>?" I also think, hey I have to pay this guy, and ask "how much do I owe you?" He says "no, don't pay me, you'll pay next time". Instead of a business card he hands be a small piece of paper with some scribbles on it. His name is "Mihu."

      DJ Critics
      I'm seated at a table outside (indescript location), and I'm shuffling through papers looking for a fresh sheet with room on it for me to dream journal. I can't find any places on any of the sheets. The pieces of paper are all separate. Then I find a place and write a few words (?). There are two guys there, they are critiquing the phrases I've written in the DJ. One guy says the words have "No grammar." I am a bit offended but I know that I'm writing just key words/phrases and that they are not grammatical, but I do not want them to know it's a DJ so I keep quiet.

      LUCIDD LD#292 False Awakening
      I find myself lying on my side in (a) bed. I do a nose pinch and I can breathe!, I'm lucid. I feel myself lying there. Then in a second I feel a "wake up buzz" (REM Atonia ending) and I'm in the same position awake in my waking bed. [very short, but it's lucid! I'm counting it. Lucid is lucid!]
    2. 2023-08-04 LUCIDD LD #291 Chinese rest., avoid shooter, lost the dogs/memory wipe, cost of tacos

      by , 08-04-2023 at 06:29 PM

      Colors: Lucid, Semi-lucid, Non-lucid
      [comment from waking] in angle brackets
      (comment / clarification from dreaming) in parentheses
      Abbreviations: DS = dream sign, CH = childhood home, S1/S2 = sons, S/O = someone, S/A = something about, [f] = fragment, b/r = bathroom trip, Wn = waking #n, BT = bedtime, OOB = final out of bed time in morning, DO = Disembodied Observer

      Summary of the Night
      • BT: ~23:19, OOB: ~09:41, fitbit score: 81 (8:41 asleep, 1:41 awake, 1:45 deep, 1:23 REM), med right before bed
      • Wakings:
        1. 00:58 b/r, no recall
        2. 03:25, b/r, no recall, basically awake until about 06:00?
        3. 06:30(?) woke from LD #191! brief but fairly clear and a bit amusing
        4. 09:41 final waking
      • Drank a glass of wine in the evening with dinner. Definitely impacted sleep negatively. Long waking period, several hours, maybe dozed a bit here and there.
      • all content from memory, no notes taken during the night or morning, written 20:00 the evening. Some of the details of the long near-epic have faded.

      W3: LUCIDD LD #191 Chinese Restaurant
      I'm outside on a city sidewalk with a small group of colleagues, we're going to lunch, and several of them enter in to a restaurant. I follow them. Inside is a medium/large room filled with tables and people sitting at the tables eating. It is a Chinese restaurant. I'm looking for evidence that they have my favorite dishes. I'm looking at the plates on the tables, I see my colleagues sitting and eating. The food is all chopped sauteed meat with various sauces, notably red sauces. I'm walking among the tables, and I decide that the cuisine is not to my taste and I want to leave back to outside. I turn around, but there are people sitting at tables all around me, and there is no path back through the room. I'm blocked [DS!]. I try several times to squeeze past in between the chairs but there's just not room. I try several different paths and I can't find a way out. I move to the side of the room (left side with back to street entrance) along the wall where there's a couch. (I ask the staff to help me clear a path?). I half climb on the couch and I see on the ground where have to step next, two bathroom scales on top of each other. I think then that people will be able to see how much I weight and I'm a bit hesitant. I step on them and look down, one of them shows nothing notable, but the other one displays my correct waking name (slightly misspelled with graphics and rectangles in place of some letters), and I'm really surprised by this, how could this scale know my name? I get the idea it may be a dream, I do a nose pinch, and get lucid.
      I'm very amused that the scale knew my name!
      and then I fade to awake in the same pose I fell asleep, with my arms around my wife. [Short lucid period, but I'm very strict about counting my lucids, there must be an explicit affirmation or firm knowledge of recognizing the dream state, so, "lucid is lucid!", and I'm counting it]

      W4: Long near epic
      Escape from shooter
      Outdoors, it's some sort of adventure/thriller plot, there are (3?) of us rushing through a city park-like walkway with some trees on it, we're in a rush, I feel semi-lucid, but I decide to go along with the plot. Half-realizing it's a dream, and hearing the sound of a helicopter flying nearby, I tell one of my cohorts to "call <some guy> in the helicopter to meet us and pick us up!". Then I'm alone and trying to dodge/avoid providing a free shot from a shooter who's stationed on about the 6th floor of a large/long ~10 story building. I move quickly to the base of a large building opposite his position, all the while hoping he won't shoot me. I make my way around the back of the building on the site away from the shooter, and am on a higher level now, on sort of a platform. I do the Clark Kent action "pull open your shirt with two hands to show the Superman Logo" and decide to take off flying and attack the shooter (?).

      Ordering Food in the Stadium
      [these mini-scenes may be out of dream order]. I'm in a steep stadium seating area, open rows are all around with people sitting down, with a central stairway leading down. At some point I place an order for food: tacos, pad thai, and something else [This is from an incubated plan to eat these things when lucid!]. Then later, I'm walking down the stairway, and I have the order in hand in a brown paper bag. I open the bag and look down into it: I see what looks like an order of nachos (tortilla chips with melted cheese), and some blob of food that I think is the pad thai. (I'm surprised they were able to fulfill the order?). Back down at our seating area, I think something may be missing from the order that I've already paid for. I ask a waiter to explain the bill to me. He mumbles something incoherently and walks away from me. I'm still confused about the order and follow him, calling out "Hey! Answer my question. HEY, WAITER!!!" he is not responding to me and I'm getting very upset. He doesn't want to deal with me, being a "problem customer." Then, I'm wanting to walk back up the stairway, but I have to first enter through a kind of turnstyle and take a different path.

      Lose the dogs, memory wipe
      I'm meeting my wife L, (she asks?) where are the dogs? I was walking them, and they're not here! I have absolutely no memory whatsoever of having walked them, and I'm very upset that I've both lost the dogs and have a totally blank memory about the situation. This goes on for a while with me being totally astounded and concerned at the blank period of memory. Then somebody holds up a mobile phone for me to see, it's playing a video that shows a man bouncing crazily out of control off of walls on buildings, and I can see that this is me! I have no memory of doing this. I'm very concerned. In another scene (?), I'm indoors and there's something about a game console (?). I think perhaps that there were people who used a device against me to wipe a portion of my memory? And got me to do something?

      Pulling up to CD on the street
      I'm driving in a car with a guy in the front passenger seat, and I see that ChrDw (company 3) is standing on the side of the road, at a point where parking is allowed again, but his car is in the way, and so I'm waiting for him to move his car so I can park there. But my passenger then gets out of the car and moves to CD and starts talking with him. I think that CD doesn't want to talk to me [hasn't for many years in waking], so I'm hesitant about this course of action. (I think CD may be involved in the plot that wiped a portion of my memory?
      lucid , memorable
    3. 2023-08-02 LUCIDD LD #290, call from Nazi Germany, girl/couch/wine,

      by , 08-02-2023 at 05:27 PM

      Colors: Lucid, Semi-lucid, Non-lucid
      [comment from waking] in angle brackets
      (comment / clarification from dreaming) in parentheses
      Abbreviations: DS = dream sign, CH = childhood home, S1/S2 = sons, S/O = someone, S/A = something about, [f] = fragment, b/r = bathroom trip, Wn = waking #n, BT = bedtime, OOB = final out of bed time in morning, DO = Disembodied Observer

      Summary of the Night
      • BT: ~23:55, OOB: ~07:37, fitbit score: 83 (6:39 asleep, 1:03 awake, 0:41 deep, 1:25 REM), med right before bed
      • Wakings:
        1. 01:16 b/r, no recall
        2. 05:18, b/r, recall, brief MILD. << check it out, 4 hours of sleep in a row! Look maw, no wakings/pee trips!
        3. 07:37 OOB
      • Long time initially falling asleep at BT as wife was reading on her phone and then settled down to sleep, sort of keeping me awake
      • After a bit of recall and quick recording at waking #2, I felt drowsy enough still to fall asleep quickly. I focused quickly on relaxing completely. Did just a bit of MILD. Fell asleep pretty quickly! Fitbit shows awake only 17 min (including b/r, and summary recording in journal)
      • wrote two dreams on top of each other! One is completely illegible/lost it looks like... ah, a later phrase brought one back. I remember thinking there were 3 dreams.

      W2: Call Center
      I'm in a phone call center. Banks of operators on phones arrange in several wide parallel rows. I take a call from Nazi Germany. I do not speak German, but I am pretending to know how. There are a couple of women observing me, (one is my manager?) I'm saying and thinking words, trying to make sense, but the only thing I can think of are words in <foreign language not German>.

      W2: Business meeting
      I'm sitting in a large room, a man (our manager?) is standing at the front berating us (me?) for not getting out changes in on time. This goes on for a while, it's hard to get a word in, I'm finally able to blurt out "I got everything checked in yesterday!" (They say, "why not earlier"?)

      W2: Girl on the couch
      I'm lying on a couch with a girl who's apparently my girlfriend. The couch is located on an external corner (it "turns" around the corner) between two rooms. I want to have some private "fun" with my g/f, I grab her (ahem) from outside her clothing, and pull us both around the corner so we're out of view from the first room. She tells me she doesn't want any more wine (as a gift) because she has too much of it already. I say "yes, me too, but I was planning to share it with you!"

      W3: Animals at night
      I'm on my deck outside my house outside the city. I'm walking towards the door into the house, when I catch a glimpse of two little dots of light in the yard of the house across the path from the deck. I do a double take and bob my head around to get a bearing on them, and I decide they are animal eyes reflecting the light. I shine a spotlight and I see a large, orange cat standing there. The longer I look, the more animals appear, all dogs and cats. I think they're all local, not wild. Then a dog jumps the fence of that yard and easily sails over my fence to land in my own yard.

      W3: LUCIDD LD #290 Massive LD
      Flying at LHS
      I'm outside on the path to the LHS parking lot from to gate spot where the asphalt ends and the dirt trail begins. I'm standing there looking down into the valley. There are now a lot out houses there, they are very colorful. They're arranged in a nice little neighborhood. I really want a closer look, so I lean out over the hill and take off flying/gliding. There's a guy, ClnCse (company 3, previously at company I) there on my left as I take off, he's walking towards the LHS parking lot. I know he doesn't approve of me flying, so I mischievously say S/L "Hey C, don't look at me!" while I fly out over the valley and look down to appreciate the view of the houses from above.

      Get Lucid
      [I forgot the part in between Flying at LHS and my first strong notion of lucidity]
      I'm quite sure I'm dreaming, but I nose pinch to be sure, and while there is some resistance, the air is definitely moving, woohoo I'm dreaming!

      Reflecting on vividness
      In in the upper hallway of CH, facing the b/r, my room is to my right. There is a table with colorful objects on top of it there in the hallway, they look like pieces of art glass, with bright orange, red, brown colors. I decide to take a moment and really reflect/take a reading on the level of vividness of the dream, since there was discussion about this recently on reddit /r/LucidDreaming. I look closely at the art glass objects, and at the scene around me. I quickly conclude that yes, this dream has vividness and clarity easily equal to (or greater than) waking experiences. (I think I touch them as well, and the sense of touch is waking-like as well?).

      Checking out "my package"
      I move in to my sister's room, and recall that I sometimes like to checkout what I'm packing in my pants in the dream. I pull down my pants and take my (ahem) into my hand and look at it. It looks non-waking, not familiar shape. MEO. "Time for some goals!" I think. I feel like the dream has been really long, like an hour at least, and I look at a clock on the wall to confirm this.

      Fun with the fairy, mom & dad tease
      I move in to my room, and I am having a sexy time encounter with a little fairly (MEO). We're on the bed that is closer to the door.
      Spoiler for sexy time:
      Then I hear my parents coming up the stairs. I think that this is waking life sound manifesting into the dream, that my parents are coming up the stairs in waking life [false, impossible, don't live in CH, mom passed away], and that this is an interesting phenomenon. I don't want to be discovered so I turn away from the door with the fairy underneath me. Mom & dad both come into the room, dad (standing? getting on to?) the foot of the bed (don't see him), and my mom right in front of me, leaning over, getting right down in my face. I'm trying to fake sleeping. My mom finds the fairy and is teasing me about her, I'm trying to push my mom away from me and hoping she'll go away. My dad says "You're squishing her!" (the fairy).

      FA, fly through window
      I wake up in the same bed in the same room from the last scene. I suspect I'm still dreaming. I do a nose pinch and I'm still dreaming, woohoo. I see my window in front of me, the blinds are closed and the room is dark-ish, but a lot of white light is coming through the window. I decide to fly / phase out through the window. I take a few steps back (do another nose pinch to confirm I'm dreaming?) then run at the window and launch myself at it horizontally arms out in front of me. I move through the window, but very slowly, like it's made of some think liquid. I come out the other side...

      "FryingMan" bus, Red River Valley w/girl
      ... and I'm outside in daylight, there is a long white bus just in front of me, perpendicular to me, right its front to my right. There is blue/green-ish text along the side of the bus. It says "FryingMan <something something>", several times, and each time "FryingMan" is misspelled slightly, in a way that I find highly amusing and laugh out loud. Like, "FryingMauk" or "FryiAuMan", incorrect letters inserted into the middle of the word. I decide to board the bus. There are a couple of girls walking by and I take them along with me. We all sit down right next to the driver. I start singing "Red River Valley" with the girl closest to me. She's following my lead, as she doesn't know the words. I sing the raunchy "boy scout" version: "Then come sit on my face if you love me.....do not hasten to give me a screw....but remember the Red River Valley...and the cowboy who loved you so true." I'm watching her face while we're singing. I notice she has sharp little teeth, like a puppy. I'm "interacting" with the girl while we're singing (hand), there is a woman back behind us a bit to my left, she looks disapprovingly at the scene. I don't care and keep singing and "interacting".
      The scene fades and I'm really happy that I've had a great, long LD, first like that in a long time.
      lucid , memorable
    4. 2023-07-27 LUCIDD LD#289 return to company "R", redux, toilet scandal, falsifying name at airline

      by , 07-27-2023 at 01:14 PM

      Colors: Lucid, Semi-lucid, Non-lucid
      [comment from waking] in angle brackets
      (comment / clarification from dreaming) in parentheses
      Abbreviations: DS = dream sign, CH = childhood home, S1/S2 = sons, S/O = someone, S/A = something about, [f] = fragment, b/r = bathroom trip, Wn = waking #n, BT = bedtime, OOB = final out of bed time in morning

      Summary of the Night
      • Wakings:
        1. 01:07 b/r, no recall, (maybe chess position?)
        2. 03:38, b/r, recall
        3. 05:57 b/r, BTS challenge, recall. BTS: removed blanket, got ultra relaxed, had to totally blank mind. Felt a transition into sleep, a sort of "deepening" of mind and body, remained calm, kept my mind empty instead of trying for a separation/WILD, where I often wake up. LD, good recall, Increased vividness and presence. Make it back to sleep, want to sleep at least until 07:30, usual planned wake time
        4. 07:57
      • BT: ~22:45, OOB: ~07:57

      W1: Vague Chess Positions
      I'm analyzing a chess position.

      W2: Island Drama
      [Came back to me in delving, originally forgotten, pursued weak vague feelings/flashes of content ] Backyard of CH, dark, evening, there is a quadracycle there. I move past it and then I'm scaling a barren, open rock hill, long, not that steep. I look behind me (?) and the guy from the quadracycle (Quadracycle Man, QM) is following me (?). In a house with some guy and the QM comes to the door. I'm dressed as QM's long lost girlfriend. I go out to greet him, and I seriously wonder if he will be fooled with my disguise, even if it's been a very long time since he saw her, I'm sure I'm a different height.

      W3: Return To Company "R"
      The Initial Gift
      I'm in an office with my manager RbMls from company "R". He's offering me a gift of one of our graphics cards that I worked on. It is a single board computer, really just a circuit board, slightly bendy and flexible. As he hands it to me he clips a couple jumpers on the upper left corner of the board in order to put it into a working configuration. I want to ask him what all the different jumpers do, but I don't. I'm looking at it and wondering how to use it, looking for familiar connectors (USB, HDMI), and I end up finding a couple. I'm talking with them and while I 'm talking I'm nervously plucking whiskers out of my beard and dropping them to the floor. I explain that this is a nervous habit of mine.

      Bathroom Scandal and Escape
      I pick up all my pulled beard pickings, which has become a rather large pile in the middle of the room, little short black slightly curly whiskers, and scooped them up and held them to my chest, I couldn't get them all in one scoop so I had to lean back down and try to get the rest with my free hand. I don't want to leave a mess of these, it's embarrassing. I take these to the bathroom to throw away, which is just off a hallway just outside of this office. I enter the very small bathroom, which is just a toilet stall and a sink with just enough room for one person to stand, and while I reach for the trash can to throw away the whiskers, I hear the unmistakable sound of someone peeing (sounds like a woman) in the stall, and then the woman comes out and confronts me and I feel embarrassed to be in there. She gets very upset and accuses me of being inappropriate for being in there with her while she was peeing, and I get defensive and say that the door wasn't locked or anything, there was no way for me to know that anybody was in there. She continues ranting and I make a hasty exit back to the office I started in. I feel like I need to get out of here, fast. I make my way back out into the hallway, trying to avoid attention from an adjacent break room (where I think the woman may be now), I don't want her to see me again, and see the main central staircase, a wide rectangular-winding staircase leading (up?) and down. I start down the stairs. At the top of the stairs, I'm in a large open area with dark/twilight lighting, I see all the way to the external wall of the building, where there is a large long red horizontal line light that is part of the decoration of the building and the brand of the company, and I have a sense of deja vu of being here before. I'm hurrying down the stairs, and my feet are moving amazingly fast, and I remember [false] being here before and quickly skittling down the stairs like I am now. The stairway is now a long straight (not winding any more) stairway.

      With the StfPdl Twins
      At the next to the last landing before the ground floor, I come across StfPdl (my company "R" office mate and "spam" cohort) and his twin [false] standing at the top of the escalator leading to the ground floor. [I don't remember what we talked about]. SP points out how this area has really grown, he points out all the new offices/businesses, I'm looking down a long corridor still here on the 2nd floor level, which is a huge open high-ceilinged atrium [DS], and I don't really remember much about it, but I'm not really impressed, the walls of the business corridor are all plywood, doesn't look all that interesting, I say "I only really remember being in the president's office" which I know is located at the near corner of this business hallway. I look around and notice things in this area [as a sort of floating DO], workspaces with tools?

      Following the Woman (LD #289)
      [New location, transition not noticed]. I'm in a lobby area of a building on a city street with glass walls [DS]. There's a woman here that I find attractive, she's heading out a door among a throng of other people. I walk out after her. Daylight, city urban environment. (I "will" people to disappear leaving me alone with her?). I come up behind her and start to feel bold, and I'm pretty sure I'm dreaming, and I do a few nose pinches to be sure. The air is moving but there is resistance so I repeat a few times. Since air is moving I conclude I'm dreaming, and I direct the woman into a nearby office building on to a stairway, turn her to face me, and I wake up/transition and lose lucidity.

      Back to the Office
      I'm back in the room where I started in "The Initial Gift", a woman comes up to me, and gets right in my face and says "Yeah, this is the guy that walked in on the woman in the bathroom, what were you thinking!?" I immediately get very defensive [DS] and raise my voice, and with a raise voice exclaim, "Well WHAT WOULD YOU DO? The door wasn't locked, there was NO WAY TO KNOW anybody was in there!!" I feel like I am being treated extremely unfairly. Someone says "you're being put on the <???> list". Then the manager (president) is dealing with me and reading something and seems to be approving, like because I wrote this (my resignation letter for the last time I worked there?), he is going to forgive me the bathroom scandal. He's nodding his head in agreement to what he's reading. Then he takes out a pen and starts correcting/editing my resignation letter. I look at it, I see some handwriting, but don't really make anything out clearly. Then he launches into a speech about the benefits of the company, typical business blah blah blah "we're leveraging out innovation" or crap like that, then I realize he's making a pitch for me to rejoin the company! I look at him and recognize him [false?]. He's someone I knew from before at the company, like an engineer, but now he's dressed up in a suit and has gained weight. He's not making eye contact with me but looking off to my right.

      W4: Lying to the Airlines
      [something earlier? Definitely more content, forgotten]
      Sitting in a chair waiting for my turn, inside some office, my back is against the door and I think about reaching back and sliding the lock shut so no one else can come in. I think I'm glad that I made it in, and that this door (which has a wrought iron decorative grill?) will be closed and locked by a guard at any moment, meaning I'll be the last one to get service today.

      At the counter registering for a flight with my female companion. A female travel agent is sitting ahead and to the right at a desk. She is an acquaintance of ours and she will be getting the commission for our flight. I tell the ticketing agent, "My name is Thomas. T-H-O-M-A-S." I know this is not my real name. Then I realize .. oops, this is an airline flight , so they will be checking passports and that they match the name on the ticket, so I can't give them a fake name. I'm at a loss for words of how to explain this without getting in trouble. I rehearse several different possibilities but end up just saying "uh, no, actually, my name is <name>." I'm very glad we've chosen the proper form of travel for the first leg of our journey, or else it would have been 5-6 hours longer.
      lucid , memorable
    5. 2023-06-07 comp night #6, LDs #281-#286 (DILD + 4 DEILD chain)

      by , 06-07-2023 at 07:47 AM
      First LD in about 6 months, and first DEILD chain in about 8 years, the DV comp has worked its magic yet once more!

      A terrible night of sleep, bedtime around 00:00, woke several times, and about 04:30 I was just up, so I decided to use this as a time for relaxation and perhaps to get a WILD/DILD

      WBTB: [2]

      At some point around 06:30 my wife & dog left the room and I was able to more fully relax. It took a lot of diligence to keep relaxing. as I was very alert.

      After a while, I started seeing images coming in to focus, very bright clear focus, like a room or a corridor. I could see my blankets through my closed eyes. I started thinking about how I might enter the dream more fully. Images of objects came in to bright, clear focus, like a bowl or a teapot/flowerpot, and it was rotating around its axes so I could get a clear look at it. It came into super sharp focus, and I just enjoyed the visualization, things like that are rare for me. I manipulated it a bit, adding flowers. Later after it vanished it occurred to me that it may have been a dream, a "light WILD," but then again it could have just been super vivid hypnogogic imagery. But I don't think so, my hypnogogic images are all just vague colorful blobs, and this was a fully realized visual scene.

      + NLD [1]: in BIL's house. There I am in a room in a house, a guy is sitting at a piano, it is my Brother-In-Law M. I see the notes appear on a piece of paper in front of me as he plays, and I hear them together with seeing them appear on the paper. Then I realize it's M, and he's playing on an electronic piano, some sort of cool digital piano where the notes appear on a remote screen as you play them on the keyboard. The sound is very electronic and imitation, not like a digital piano at all, and I think this is odd because he and my sister are both musically inclined. I say "hey you changed your piano," the used to have an upright analog piano, and again I think this is weird that they replaced that awesome piano with for this tinny sounding electronic thing. He crosses the room and vigorously pours himself a glass of wine, sloshing it messily into the glass and some spills to the floor.

      Things fade and I realize I'm looking at a computer screen with characters on it. Scene changes to a library (?) looking at a computer.

      + I am outside a building on a 2nd floor balcony/landing with an external entrance door, and I open a door and look in to a short, empty hallway. This is my place, I realize, [false], where my renter lives, and I realize that I shouldn't just barge in on him without prior notice, so I close the hallway door and turn around. I'm standing on a high balcony over a bare courtyard below, get the urge to lean out and fly, realize this means

      I'm dreaming [10], and I lean out, spread my arms and begin to fly [5]. I'm moving slowly, and I will myself to move faster, I reach behind me with my right arm, and imagine I have an "Iron Man" flight gauntlet on and will it to propel me forwards faster. I fly around a corner still with tall buildings around me, zig zagging right then left, and I see a large open area in front of me with a bunch of people walking around on the ground. I land and the scene fades and I feel myself awake in bed...

      I remain clam and quiet and a scene returns (DEILD #1 [2]). I'm standing outdoors in daylight in an area similar to where I was before, and there is a sign of some sort, like an advertising banner, a couple of yards square, in front of me, and I will my dream arms to appear and reach out and pound my hands on the sign as a form of stabilization [1]. I feel my arms are a bit heavy/unresponsive and not "real" but pounding on this sign helps bring me more fully into the dream scene.

      A woman walks by, and I "interact" with her [2]. Scene fades....

      I figure I'm on a roll, and that the dream will soon return if I'm patient, and it does...

      I'm back in the large outdoor area with people walking by [(DEILD #2 [2]). There is a particularly hot, built, middle-Eastern looking woman approaching me, wearing a white evening dress, I think she's perhaps a waitress at a fancy restaurant, and I walk up to her, and "interact" with her for a moment , but not giving her much attention, making up some BS talking points like I'm asking her to get some order in order to "fit in" to the scene, and quickly leave her and move forwards. It is sort of like an outdoor restaurant, there is a tall counter with a female and male bartender standing there, I grab a flute of champagne and drink it [5]. There is not much flavor and the glass itself seems really light like it's empty. I walk a bit further along the bar and reach for another glass while saying "fix me a drink!" and it also, too, feels weightless. A bit further on towards the right-end of the counter/bar is a really tall barman, looking very dour/serious, and I ask him if his name wasn't "xxx" (forgot). "No," he answers, and mutters "Robin." "Ah, sorry" I say, and tell him he's really tall (he is) [DS] and I do a RC (score?) nose pinch and of course can breathe. I sit at the bar there is a group of women sitting there all clumped close together, I reach out and "interact" with one for a while, who turns out to be older but hey it's all good, and ask her to "interact" with me a bit, she starts and the scene fades...

      Figuring this is one of those once-every-many-years massive awesome DEILD chain, all I have to do is wait and think about the scene and it will continue, and sure enough....it does.

      I'm standing in a small office / hallway. [(DEILD #3 [2]), I move forwards. There is a low/narrow door / gate in front of me and with a gesture and a thought I blow it open with TK. [5]. I move forwards past this and the office opens into a room with a lot of comforters and chais and sofas to the left. I turn to the left into the area looking for more DCs, and as I turn and move, the area extends further and further into the distance right in front of my eyes. It is now a sort of outdoor area with a bunch of DCs milling around, and I move forwards into this area. There are a number of DCs here and I'm trying to figure out which one to "interact" with and decide on one woman. We move to an area with a bunch of doors that lead to "privacy" areas, and we enter the last one and close the door. The door has a glass window on it so I want to move farther back for more privacy, it's a narrow corridor that opens into a tiny bathroom with a toilet. I remove some of her clothing, get a quick peek, but the scene then fades...

      Being somewhat displeased at the loss of the dream, I resolve to remain still and return and continue. In a moment, I'm back in the toilet area in the "privacy hall" [(DEILD #4 [2]) but the woman has transformed into a man who is "ready for action" and some other dirty, sort of shifty looking guy is approaching down the corridor, asking "What are you doing with that guy?!". Thankfully, the scene quickly fades....

      Figuring that I want to quickly jot down some notes about these dreams before I forgot them, I opened my eyes, got up, and did so, and started the day.

      One of the night things about being a LD practitioner, is that those unpleasant long bouts of insomnia can sometimes have a silver lining!
      lucid , memorable
    6. 2022-12-24 The Quest For Round Table King Arthur's Supreme, epic non-lucid

      by , 01-01-2023 at 09:13 AM
      BT ~ 00:50

      + boy scouts, there is going to be only 3 of us for pre-week including me. I think this won't be enough people to get all the required work done

      05:20, or 06:20?

      + [epic, long, vivid] The Quest for Round Table (RT) King Arthur Supreme Pizza (KAS)

      [This is the best commercial chain pizza I've ever had, it's amazingly good, and even better than most specialty restaurant pizzas.]

      Enter club, tons of people, bouncer intercepts me (not open to public? not serving drinks?) directs me to back room.
      Back room, seated at desks and handcuffed to them (feet? day residue "Catch Me If You Can")
      There is a (promotional?) presentation under way and the promise is that there will be pizza (RTKAS)
      The pizza arrives and it's crap: it looks like a large souffle very doughy with large chunks of ham, I think "bait and switch!", someone gets keys and several of us take off the cuffs and leave.
      "I am the Christ, I am the ...., I am the ..." large wheel super heavy wooden doors kung-fu trap? Cult with leader? Only the leader can solve the puzzle and leave, it involves manipulating some controls and running to the very heavy doors and making it out in time, only the leader is strong enough to open the doors? I open them anyway and go out
      I approach a building, like a store/restaurant in a mall, I see the Round Table sign so I go in. There are pinball tables and guys playing and I think about playing too. The place has glass walls/windows [DS]. There are people sitting around at tables, I approach the counter there is a horizontal line of people waiting at the counter. I wait for my turn. As I'm waiting I notice that there are chicken satay skewers for sale displayed on the counter, I think about getting some. As I'm waiting I see them serving a spinach salad, the spinach is green and leafy, as the woman carries the plate to the counter a leaf falls off the plate, and she picks it up from the ground (ugh) and puts it back on the plate. When my turn comes I order the KAS, they say they don't have it. I complain and say they should have it. The woman to my right in line produces a menu and speaks (gibberish? Something in Indian?) and is showing that they do not have pizza it is an Indian restaurant. I'm angry and I take the manager outside with me to show him the "Round Table" sign to prove that it's a pizza place. I'm walking around the store from all sides but I can no longer see the sign.
      I'm indoors, inside a green cement bunker/dungeon-like labyrinth of corridors hallways and stairways, I think this is an underground university campus. There are women (nuns?) walking through the corridors. I come to an area that opens to the outside and there is a line of slate there in a part of the structure, I think they're using slate because it has a property of keeping in the heat.
      Walking through a mall I arrive to the large open indoor food court at the other side. It takes a long time to walk there I think. It's very fancy with high ceilings and glass ceiling/walls [DS], very open and airy and light, there are food counters all around and featuring a lot of Mexican food: tacos, etc. I move towards the pizza ordering counter, and I see in the hallway beyond the room I'm going through a very large, muscle-y man, no shirt on, big bumpy muscles, he's very aggressive and he's attacking people there in the hallway, bothering people who want to order. I don't want to deal with him. I get to the counter and place my order but I look at the receipt and it's going to take at least 2 hours and I don't want to wait that long
      Outdoors, driving in a car? I think about ordering RT KAS for delivery to my hotel. I wonder what will happen if the pizza arrives to the hotel before I get there, that may be an issue. I call and am placing the order but I can't remember the address of my hotel. I think I say it's name.
      Sitting in a restaurant with sons S1, S2. We're at a table, behind my back is the fairly large, open kitchen/service area behind a square counter that runs around the length of the area separating it from the seating area. I'm turning around and glancing at the workers there, they are very odd looking, and I mention this to S1, S2. "They're all weird, just look at them!" Some are small, some have strangely sized heads. [Like the back room post office scene in MIB 2]. A group of young punks with rainbow colored clown hair sit at our table, I think my sons will be making racial remarks about them, the guy across from me is sweating, and I feel that he is anticipating some bad remark
      non-lucid , memorable
    7. 2022-11-21 [morning of] LUCIDD #274 galantamine WILD/DILD/FA, epic long stable vivid kick ass dream!

      by , 11-21-2022 at 06:32 PM
      Attempt #2 -- long, vivid, stable, super high res, "more real than waking," epic LD.

      Wow. Wow wow wow. 4mg galantamine and 600mg Alpha GPC taken at the 3hrs waking....led to a WILD (in every sense of the world) lucid romp through FAs, more vivid than waking, ultra-stable, high-res, super-realistic, multi-scene, long LD (felt like an hour, definitely 30 minutes or more), and follow-on vivid non-lucids in later sleep cycles. This is the 2nd time I've tried it this year (the first being Nov 2, about 3 weeks ago).
      After taking the supps, it took me somewhere around 30-60 minutes to fall asleep again. I spent the time relaxing body and mind with the idea of falling asleep unconsciously and having a DILD in subsequent sleep cycles. I took it early because of past issues with falling back asleep and I wanted to make sure I fell asleep again quickly after taking the supps. Instead, after that timeframe mentioned, I felt the familiar deepening feeling of sleep, and then WHAM! I was hit with a wave of vibrations the like of which I've never experienced before. I'm not unfamiliar with REM atonia sensations, I've felt vibrations many times before. But these were massive, strong, and accompanied by a sensation like my heart was stopping. I even sort of (maybe in a dream) half-raised up in bed to shake off the vibrations because they were so unpleasant. But I lay back down, they continued for a bit, then subsided, and I tried to imagine entering a scene. I detected slight movement in the visual field, and I tried to imagine a scene on a vehicle, and I shortly appeared in a bus or train moving past a moving landscape. It faded in a few seconds and I thought "wow that sucks, all that time and such a short dream", ... and then woke in a FA on a bus non-lucid, and the dream continued non-lucid for a while, then after failing to fly, I did a nose pinch state test, and got fully lucid, and began the lucid adventure!

      Dream contents, and following non-lucids TBD (20 minutes of voice recording recall, it's going to take 2 hours to transcribe!)

      + LUCIDD #274 after WILD entry (noted above), I feel myself awake lying on a seat on a bus. I feel that I'm pressing up against a person seated to the left of me. I sit up and I'm seated in the 2nd row on the right side of a traditional bus layout against the window. There are sections of a newspaper around me, looks like a Sunday paper, there are colorful sections including a comics section, I move them section by section to the now empty left side of the seat. I create quite a tall pile of these papers, trying to keep them in order (I wonder if this is the newspaper of the two guys sitting in front of me?). My group (2-3 people, including [1st] wife?) get up and it's time for us to get off, I stand up and try to shoulder a backpack, it's heavy with lumpy objects making it uncomfortable on the back, as I stand up some cards/papers fall out and I see that they are very important family sentimental papers, like kid's birthday cards to me, I'm concerned that if I get off the bus I will lose some of them. I pick them up and as I move past the 1st row or seats on the right a guy seated there says "that's what you get for having kids." I respond "just wait, it'll be your turn soon." We get off the bus.

      Sort of a vague scene with a woman and man, both of which have a cloudy left eye (like glaucoma), the idea is that they're from the moon?

      With the group who got off the bus, standing near a busy urban/suburban road, I recognize this as "Stevens Creek" or Santa Clara and say so. We're then in a mall parking lot, very large, there's a car ahead, a woman and kids are moving to it, and the kids run circles around the car. The car is parked back up against a drop off of about 3 feet, I move to it and stand over it looking out over the lower level of the parking lot. I have the urge to fly/glide [DS], but I think I won't fly in this case. I decide to try anyway, and sort of launch myself off the edge, and fall directly down and hit the pavement, getting a bit scratched up on the asphalt. I stand up, and do a nose pinch, and I can breathe. I'm really astonished by this and check a few more times. Yes, I can breathe, I'm dreaming! I'm amazed, it is so vivid, clear, bright, high-res, so waking like, nothing to indicate dream in the quality of the experience.

      I notice a young woman clerk entering a store ahead of me. Brunette, attractive. I move in to the store and see displays of lingerie. She is continuing to the back of the store and I follow her with the idea of getting a fashion show from her in a back dressing room. I lead her in, it is a tiny closet space just barely big enough for one person to stand in, not even move, with us there together it's incredibly crowded. I tell her I want to see her undressed. She resists and says that she can't today. I then counter that "now, it's tomorrow, so you can." I keep trying to close the curtains but can't (someone outside keeps opening them?). I give up and we leave the room, as I walk past her colleagues seated at desks I sense disapproval, and I defend myself by saying "I didn't force her, I just invited her, she came in on her own." A male colleague seated at a desk, with a bread/mustache comments "you're a real piece of work: <accusation #1, 'A">, <something about a backpack>, <some third thing>". I feel these are unfustified charges and a bit confused by them, I'm trying to determine if accusation #1 is true or not, I think not. I didn't understand about the backpack, I asked to repeat that, he repeated again something about a backpack (with the idea of murder?), and says "this information comes straight from heaven." I look at him for a second then leave the store.

      I enter the neighboring store, it is a small front office, with the sign "Steak and (soda?)" on the wall and a door to enter further inside, I don't want steak so I leave again.

      I enter the next store, it is a Vietnamese/Asian (massage? beauty salon?), it is packed with people, mostly young pretty Asian women, some plain, (dressed in white?), I think there is a beauty/modeling contest going on here today. I'm looking at their faces, most have brown eyes. I try to enter deeper into the store through the crowd, but a manager blocks the entrance saying no one can go in. I turn back to the entrance and try to push my way out through the crowd, there's a petite woman in jeans in front of me and I give her a push on her butt to clear a space to leave, she doesn't complain just moves forwards. A security guy blocks the door and says there's no access out that way, I ignore him and leave saying my car is parked right outside. Outside, I don't see my car, I'm looking around for it. A bit farther away I see a car that may have once been mine but has been heavily modified, I hear a group of young guys sniggering behind me, I turn and look at them, I think they probably pranked me by transforming my car and moving it to a new parking spot.

      I move back into the open area of the parking lot, between a couple of taller buildings to the left and right, 3-4 stories, past a group of young men who are hanging out talking. I look at their faces, some are slightly distorted, they ignore me. I decide to fly, try a quick superman take-off, it doesn't work. The dream is super vivid and waking realistic and stable the entire time. I try a frog swim and gain a bit of altitude, but it's slow going.

      I fly past (on my right) a restaurant lounge, with a sign that reads "Beef Wellerman", and I see through the glass walls [DS] that inside are people wrapped in human-side "blankets" made of giant cooked steaks, all throughout the restaurant, 10-20 people wrapped in beef blankets.

      I wake in my bed, it's dark, I'm lying on my left side (the side I went to sleep on after taking the galantamine), I suspect a FA, nose pinch, I can breathe, I'm still dreaming. I stand up quickly, throwing off the covers. I get a glimpse of my [1st?] wife lying in bed on my right, I immediately turn towards the window, which is closed by curtains. I see on the floor a pair of eyeglasses, and wonder if these are mine. I pick them up. They have a bright thing brass wire frame and on the right earpiece is a 2-inch length in the shape of a corkscrew. I think these are not mine. I part open the curtains with two hands and look at the window: it is made up of small (6 inch by 8 inch rectangular) blocks of glass held by thin, 1-inch wide strips of dark brown painted wood. The windows are locked with padlocks. I want to go out and so I pull open the left pane, it opens, and I look outside into an open courtyard, like a motel swimming pool courtyard. There are people there, a group of kids. I go down and interact with the people there. A mother there offers to bring another of her kids to me, one that can generate cinnamon (bread?) if you touch her in a certain way. I do this (wanting the cinnamon), and wake up slightly in bed doing that movement. A nose pinch shows
      I'm awake.

      Several vivid non-lucids follow, will record later.
    8. 2022-08-01 [vivid] very emotional mtg deceased wife; visiting the hood; garden; pillows; insomnia

      by , 08-01-2022 at 07:55 AM
      bedtime: 22:20

      Probably my most emotional, direct, confrontational encounter with my deceased wife these many years after her passing.
      I've had many dreams where she "returns" as if from a business trip, and I'm already with my new wife (usually before we were married), and I have a huge dilemma about whom I will stay with. But this time I remembered...

      ~ 03:555

      + [vivid] I'm driving in a car with my 1st [deceased] wife. She's in the driver's seat driving the car, I'm sitting in the right hand side of the back seat. We are not in good relations, she's upset with me, like our relationship is ruined. Music is playing, and a Billy Joel song begins (seems like "Rosalinda's eyes", the musical climax portion of the chorus), it was "our song" [false, that was Natalie Cole songs], and my wife becomes emotional and says she still loves me. (She cries? I cry?) I reach out and stroke her shoulder to comfort her.

      I'm standing outside in the sunlight in an open area. I look at my hands [I've been working on "I find/see my hands in dreams and realize I'm dreaming"], both of my [true in waking] rings are in place [First time that's happened!], the silver one and the wedding ring, one each on their proper hands ring fingers. I realize I'm married to my new wife now. It's the [familiar] dilemma -- what shall I do? I have no intention of leaving my new wife. I decide to remove my wedding ring for the meanwhile to hide it from my 1st wife. I'm a bit concerned about losing it rolling around loose in my pocket. I notice that the ring has left very noticeable impressions on my ring finger, from the protrusions it has on the inside face [false, this is day residue from viewing pictures of the Oura sleep tracking ring in the day, which has electronics on the inner side of the ring]. I think she still may see these markings and suspect something, I rub my finger where the ring sat in hopes that they'll smooth out and become not so visible.

      My first wife is consulting a lawyer about a divorce. She is reviewing some papers and reading some excerpts from them.

      I'm thinking about what I can do -- I'm married to two women at the same time. This is bigamy and I know it's against the law. I could end up in prison for 10 years. This has me very upset. I'm thinking and thinking what to do. I get the feeling that the marriage to my 1st wife should be annullable for some reason. This thought sticks with me. Then I get the notion that the first marriage ended because she died, so we're not married any more.

      Inside our home. I walk into the boys's room and I see that on their computer screen they're looking at with some colorful image (some game) instead of working on the assignment they're supposed to be working on.

      Inside our CA home, we're there with our two young sons (5-7 yrs aged in the dream). I tell her the truth: "You're dead, you died from cancer several years ago." She moves (sort of aggressively/possessively) towards my two sons (me and my sons are standing with our backs against a wall?), and I intervene myself between them to keep her from scaring them. She seems to realize the truth and she backs off. She knows she has to go.

      In any amazingly touching moment, my younger son reaches up to a bulletin board on the wall in front of us where some of their children's artwork are displayed, and takes down one of his works, and gives it to her so she can have it with her for comfort for all eternity.

      In our final confrontation, my wife and I we are standing facing each other, close, looking in to each other's eyes. She asks me: "Do you think there is life after death? Or do we just disappear into the Chaos?" I say "oh, you can still come and visit from time to time," trying to comfort her. She seems very doubtful, and (maybe says) "really?" (in a very doubtful voice). Then her eyes begin to change: there are (spirals? Like little galaxies) in the center, then they start to flash to pure white (no pupil no irirs) back and forth to the spiral eyes, and eventually remain all white, very freaky/dead looking.

      I wake up, I'm really shaken and have all-body goose bumps. I get the feeling this was a really significant dream and perhaps a real visitation.
      I spend some time fixing the key moments from the dream to memory.

      It takes a long time to calm down, eventually I sleep more and dream some more....

      + in the hood: I'm visiting some people inside their house. Outside the window across the street a large force of (police?) are gathering, they are all armed and I can see the pistols in their hands. They're preparing to storm the house directly across the street. There is a window in that house across, it is dark but with some blue and red lights (like neon lights or LED lights). I think this is not a safe place for us to be, I say "hey everybody, let's move farther inside the house," I don't want us to be hit by any stray bullets.

      (This family I'm visiting is African American?)

      One of the family members (a woman) is sitting in a doorway and is holding a small pistol in her hand. I move a bit back from her.

      +[f] some short scenes:

      I pick up my two arm support pillows and am walking with them to some other room, I'm looking at them and asking someone, "are these my pillows?"

      Some woman is talking to me about what I need to do at work. I'm taking a business trip? I know I need to be up at 7, I think the jet lag from the trip will really mess up my new sleep timing and I'll miss more sleep.

      There are some people outside, there is a corridor/walking below me. On the left are some gym-style exercise machines (some people are using them?). I think there is a lat training machine there, and that I should use it.

      Some woman is inside a large indoor area like a greenhouse, she is tending to things embedded in the floor. It's some sort of (sexual?) performance art / entertainment area, where customers will come later. The woman then prepares to be a customer (?), and along the edge is a bunch of "living" greenery that transforms, and part of it becomes adult male genitalia with curly pubic hair.

      Drifting in an out of sleep, trying to rest, alarm goes off at 07:00
      nightmare , memorable , non-lucid
    9. 2022-07-31 better sleep, later REM, finally some vivid-ish dreams

      by , 08-01-2022 at 07:14 AM
      bedtime 22:45

      waking with recall: 05:20
      didn't fall asleep again, but got close
      got up 07:20 (missed 07:00 alarm)

      + (newly back to) work at company "N" [DS! DS! DS! Need to catch these! VERY common!] office #1
      Long meandering dull rows of work stations, not even cubes, "cubelets" or just rows of computers all next to each other. Everybody is at their desk, nobody is anywhere else. It's very strict here. I go to the kitchen / common area, want to check it out, and a very fat large security woman comes and scolds me (and others there?) that we need to get back to work. Nobody here moves from their seats during the day, apparently.

      In the kitchen area I see a video game arcade area, 5-6 machines (cabinet size) are there and some people are mulling around there playing them. I see pinball! I love pinball. I look more hoping to see an "old-time" pinball, without all the modern stuff, and I see on there on the right! Just a few bumpers and trap holes on the playing field. The machine is standing perpendicular to my view, I'm on its right side, I walk up to it, it's right up against other machines and there's a guy standing right there so I have to push through the gap to get in front of the machine. As I walk by, I slap the right bumper button a few times to see if it works, and I notice that it does. I get to the front of the machine, and start playing, a ball is in play, and I start manipulating the bumpers. I follow the ball around and skillfully trap and hit the ball with the bumpers, aiming for key features. I do pretty well and keep the ball in play for a while. Once I get the ball through a chute all the way back up to the top, I love it when I can manage that happening. It really feels like I'm playing the game! [no sound I think?]

      + Interlude dream in between office #1 and office #2?
      [forgotten details] there's a guy jumping from one tall building to another, as he jumps to the other building he catches on a hanging wire (sideways, like draped between two windows far apart, sagging from gravity in the middle). Then the view changes to me watching him from inside a room in the other building. The man is manipulating two electrical wires to generate a high-voltage electrical attack against the (thieves?) inside the room, it will happen when he brings the wires together.

      (I'm inside the room? People are inside? I walk from one room to another?)

      + office #2
      I'm back in the office. This time the cubes are laid out differently and are more like cube with semi-high walls around them. I'm at the end of (or standing outside in the corridor) my cube looking into my cube. I notice the amount of space, it's not too small, I see the carpet on the floor, I look at it and think there's enough room to lie down there (and do yoga?).

      Then my cube seems like a large closet or enclosed bed with clothes hung all around the walls. I'm sitting on the bed on the ground (perhaps elevated?) Very small, meter square perhaps. I see jeans and other clothes (socks? shirts) hanging up, I move some of them around? I think the employer will not like to see these clothes hanging here if they open the door and look inside.

      I'm standing in my cube and looking out past the far "door" (opening) to the neighboring cubes across the hallway. There are two, one immediately to the left and one immediately to the right, their mutual wall is centered in the center of my view and centered on my cube opening. I look for the name plates and read the names, they are both female names. I notice office equipment in each: printers, desks, etc. In the right cube there is a young woman employee working. She is sitting at her desk with her right side facing me. An HR representative (also female) is sitting behind her talking to her. The discussion is about the company's coverage for various anti-viral, anti-bacterial medications, the HR rep is going on for a while about the possible coverage. The employee eventually says, exasperated, "I don't want to take any (stupid?) anti-viral medication!". She stands up. I recognize her as a former colleague from my 2nd job many years ago. She has slimmed down (much slimmer than in waking) a lot and is very attractive. She looks at me and our eyes meet, we recognize each other, I raise my right hand and "wave" at her using a "wave to a baby" motion by bending only the upper half of all my fingers (sort of a "finger wave"), the same wave I used to young children in waking. (She says "let's meet later"?). I notice her clothing is very loose and flowing about her body, with a large arm opening allowing a generous view of her breasts and torso, I expect to see her naked underneath the clothing but while I see the form of her breasts they seem to be covered in some thin material.

      +[f] motorcycle guy? Some guy is riding a motorcycle, and mentions getting some expensive champagne?
      lucid , memorable
    10. 2022-07-17 lucidd #269

      by , 07-17-2022 at 10:38 AM
      key summaries, detail later

      Tortuous night of not being able to fall asleep after an early (3.5 - 5 hr?) waking.
      Got up moved to other room sat quietly. Slowly got a bit more sleepy. Back to bed. Relaxed and comfortable, but can't make the transition to sleep, remain in a light sleep or very relaxed awake phase. Every time the transition to deeper sleep approaches I can't make it over to the other side. This happens repeatedly for probably 1.5 - 2 hours. At one point get a (REM atonia probably) all-body buzz. Get some weak images that I interact with a bit but don't solidify. Then the following happens...

      + [WILD entry?] tumbling / sliding down a rectangular staircase [DS], thinking "this is an innovative dream entry method," and thought it was quite fun at that!

      + table with food colleagues after party: first cheese, then chips, then, (sushi?) fish, then see container with noodle dish and grab that

      + JH (president company "N") has a skin condition, the doctor is lifting large scales of skin off of JH's hands and forearms, while JH is talking to himself wondering if he can get $860 million for his home. I think it's ridiculous for him to be worrying about that, he's rich enough already.

      + Approach outside-of-city home. I see the green fence has been tampered with and some parts moved aside. I think this means thieves have entered. With this thought I see more evidence of fence tampering. Look into house, see computer devices inside, try to see if anything's missing. Old printer, what's that doing there? Looks like stuff's been stolen, perhaps including my laptop. I'm stumbling through the backyard wallowing in emotions about how horrible this is. Unless.... <RC: nose pinch>... AH! This is a dream!

      (Try to remember TOTS tasks, can't remember anything but elevator and I don't want to try that one again before the others)

      (Many "adult" interactions....goes on for quite a while)

      Toy on the table, ask the "owner" to do some DC magic and summon what I want. He doesn't. I imagine touching a part of a small object farther back on the desk will work. It doesn't. I then turn and walk back into the room searching for what I want.

      Young, elegant, beautiful woman in 18th century dress. She's a bit reluctant, says ("I have a flight to catch" (?) ... "we had that time on the mountainside.." (like, that was it, we're finished). I dare her to get frisky with me right here on the table in front of everyone in the room. This gets her interested, things get going, and ...

      ... fade to awake. Stunning LD. Super vivid, stable, clear, long, immersive. Definitely top 10 of all time, and a candidate for best ever!
    11. 2022-07-07 LUCIDD #267 deceased ex-wife, apartment, vivid garden, can I fly?, dog peed inside

      by , 07-11-2022 at 09:15 AM
      + earliest dream working out in the gym there was a strange exercise device a cable that runs around the floor up to the ceiling at an angle a slope the idea is that you run really hard maybe with a harness on up this cable forwards and then you run hard backwards so it's a leg exercise done after at some typical gym benches with dumbbells and there are some women and there's a discussion about the difference between people who are experienced in the gym and people who are novices and I think I'm saying

      ... that the experienced people are able to basically do more with less space around them

      + a theme with a woman, maybe Lena, whom I'm inviting for coffee and a little pastry I'm inviting her to a place that's not far away it shouldn't take too long and it's not the same as I'm going for a full pastry

      + there is a scene of looking at a building across the street on in a cityscape, it's a several story building I'm talking to somebody maybe about [country] and saying then one of the things I wish that I had done was learned to smoke and I think there are cigarettes large like several meter long cigarettes placed vertically at distances around the top of the building and maybe I'm saying "or you would have to jump ?" the next thing I see is that people jumping from like a windows those and going towards the pavement I can see them there's a group's large groups of people 5, 10, 15 all falling vertically down towards the ground, and I'm thinking about how their legs would break when they hit the ground and I could see that their legs were catching on the window sills I'm being sort of tossed around

      + another scene I am looking at 2 black tubes Seems to be outside and these tubes are held together perpendicularly by a clamp and they have to do with a computer coding problem or a solution to a problem like one of them is the code and the 2nd tube represents the input or output stream and I start investigating I'm looking at the objects that are coming out of the output stream and I'm supposed to use this to I guest reverse engineer what the program is doing and it's a little tricky because it's basically water and bits of rope and other things that can come out of a fairly narrow typical garden hose like tube I'm sense not making out any of it I'm thinking about where is the documentation and there is a piece of paper On the ground to the left which is from the operating manual for this program and then there's a man I guess who wrote this manual I may a see him at this time I have a visual of him in his younger days and he had curly tight curly hair and which was already graying at that time so well that makes me think he was older . He says that he can print out the manual and he says the number of the manual like 177 something like that the number is not clear in my mind and I'm following maybe this guy Now across in irrigation ditch or frozen river, maybe a marsh with flattened grasses he goes across 1st and I'm thinking about following him but I'm wondering if it's frozen I wonder if this footing is solid or I'll fall in. I go across and don't fall and climb up the bank of the other side and then climb up to a building to a room that's what I guess the top of this building I think it's supposed to be the documentation center for this company and there are various manuals, the room is a horrible mess it's like it's an abandoned crack house, that level of mess and there may be some people in the distances sort of a cubicle white room , darkish, but I think the manual is not gonna be found here either -- I'm gonna have to go to that guy and print it out

      + Conversation, guess it's outdoors, it's words like: is it better to have a room with a view, or a room near the beach? This repeats a few times. I say it's better to have both: a room with a view of the beach by the beach. I think there is a pathway up ahead that runs perpendicular to where I am standing that may lead to a beach

      + LD DILD #267
      I was walking down a long pathway outside, there was someone behind me who is one particular person that I hear like a loud sound and turn around a bit surprised, and there is a EW by deceased wife sitting there. She was angry. I am amazed to see her I stand up and we stand closer to each other her face is so realistic it is very vivid it looks just like her. I talking to her and 1st of all I said well of course I'm dreaming, I wanted to first make this affirmation I realize it's her, and then I can't possibly see her. I do a nose pinch to confirm and I can breath. And then I get very emotional with her, I say "Oh I miss you so much!" And she says "Oh, I miss you." At first she was like arguing with me and being angry with me. I see her , it was really her in later life not young but a little older and a little portly. I take her into my arms and say "oh I miss you so much my [nickname for her, -ochka] And she says "You're at a strange address" and I think this means she couldn't find me at our last home together, and i said "yes I've moved" (I remembered that I had remarried and moved to a different place. i feel her scratchy pit with my right arm is under her left armpit. I'm crying and balling emotionally

      + at the parking garage I'm arriving like I guess by car I'm parked outside and the entrance to the parking garage is gated and I'm surprised by this and there's a notice posted and I think oh yes of course it's a holiday weekend so they've locked the garage and if you don't have the right key access you won't be able to get or to get out. I'm naked I have no clothes on little bit self conscious about this but there was some body awareness. I managed to partially open this gate and I think I could go inside but then I may not be able to get out. Then I'm thinking normally these places are such that if you get in you're going to be able to get out from the inside but I wasn't sure about that so I didn't dedicate to that.

      + the pool looking for the pool,
      the stone slots on the room with S1
      walking through the garden thinking yeah don't have to water it
      asking those guys at the top of the tower Hey where's the pool
      gathering up the food to bring back to the refrigerator

      +In an apartment kitchen, L-shaped. I see food in the apartment, stacks of food all very healthy I guess it's also in the refrigerator it's a small half-sized refrigerator (back along the long leg of the L). I see a short corner-standing shelf, about half the height of the ceiling, I think it would be more efficient to have a full-height shelf.

      + I'm looking through this apartment/home that's very detailed very vivid. I noticed the floor is tiled with a number (10-15) of very long narrow rounded ellipse shaped stone "tiles." These stones cover the floor of the room, and are several inches high and spaced an inch or two apart to the floor if very uneven, making it very hard to walk on it on the one hand but on the other it's hard (for others to come in and take over?) I wanted to take these pieces of stone out and store these things outside in the garden. Son S1 is outside, a younger version of him.
      I'm walking outside and storing some pieces of these stones outside, I see the garden, very detailed. [Thank you day practice!] There are (looking back towards the original stone slat room inside) two chaise lounges on either side of the path, with plants around them.

      I'm walking through the garden thinking yeah I don't have for water or wondering if I have to water it and where's the watering system thinking well because this is a hotel they must certainly take care of that. At first I think I had bought this house but then I realized oh yeah, this is a hotel (or some managed property). There is a wall of the building ahead visible through the plants and I'm looking for the automatic sprinkler system devices, and wondering where the controls for the watering system are.
      At one point I'm sort of leaning off a wall and I see the address of the place, it is one of those branded "stay at home" places. It has a sort of funny address: 22435. I see the main entrance, it has an illuminated sign, white background with red lettering, it says "Extended Stay America: Stay At Home" or something like that.

      I continue further through the garden, and notice a row of chaise lounges (with umbrellas?) laid out on a curving path, I think this would be a nice place to relax. Very realistic, very alternate life-level feeling. [Did some SSILD cycles, did some "I will be lucid in my dreams" affirmations].

      Then I'm on top of a high platform like a diving board, It's very confusing and I'm afraid of flying, it's a platform very high Above the ground. I had the sense that I wanted to fly and I hold an internal discussion with myself, On the one hand, I knew that the feeling that you want to fly generally means you can fly, but I'm afraid that if I can't fly that I'll fall and get hurt. I didn't do it nose pinch or think of dreaming. I turned around and there are like 2 young men approaching, I have to go around carefully so I don't fall from this high place in the middle and (they?) point an imperfection, "be careful," in the Sidewalk that I'm walking on. There are people down below. I wanted to ask them where's the way to the pool I wanted to find the pool.

      I'm walking back the way I'd come earlier through the garden, and I see packages of food outside on the ground along the path I'm walking. I'm picking up the (only the perishable ones because they need the refrigerator?) packages and stacking them in my arms and heading back to the apartment.

      I see her (EW deceased wife) again (she was very angry and I could not calm her down....she said something was a waste of money and I answered "well yeah, lots of people waste money on lots of useless things" I got back to the room I spill water on the floor h I think "Oh, God," I've got I have to clean this up and the water starts spiraling out from the room and down and down and around the stairs and then on to different landings and I also dog pee, puddles of yellow pee in the rooms And then I think my dog has peed here and we're going to have to clean it up. I'm going to go find something to clean up all those water or the maids are going to come in and be pissed.

      I was also returning to the room with the idea that we have to save for a farewell to this imaginary family we have a bunch of kids that at 1 point I'm thinking it's like The Brady Bunch they've been with us. we're gonna have to go back to the room we're going to have to say goodbyes as they're gonna have to leave and it's gonna be very sad, but I have to do it and then they're coming back and they say "oh do we have to?" There is EW again, she is very angry different in face slightly. I'm trying to reason with her but she just wno't calm down.
      lucid , memorable
    12. 2022-06-17 LDD #266 dancing stars, Losing L, glass house, fire room/vodka perv, bus/music

      by , 06-17-2022 at 06:12 AM
      + losing L
      Some sort of business proposition (with L?) about ambulances, I don't understand and ask for clarification.
      There is a business meeting on an open field outside in twilight with a large group of women. They're all very positive about it, and I'm impressed at the swift level of approval of our idea. To my right on the grass I see some lines of what I believe is wiped/scuffed dog crap (it's brown and the right texture).

      I have a new romantic object and I'm really torn about what to do about L. I'm planning to leave L for the risky new romance. I think it's not fair to L. I speak with her and tell her that I need to move on. I think I'm taking a huge risk, I really love L and don't want to lose her. In a large auditorium [DS] for a talk/presentation/show, standing among the seats in the center, then I move (with L) to and aisle on the left hand central side, and an usher comes up and tells us to clear the aisle. I get annoyed and point back to where I was and say that I already had a seat. I look around and see that the seats have filled up where we previously were and all through the auditorium, and the only free spots are in the extreme corners/edges. I see a string of free seats near me and head into them with L, moving from the left central aisle towards the center of the auditorium. I see that JaCon (T5) is seated there, so I go up to him and L and I sit down, JC is on my right and L is to my left. I wonder about how to introduce L: my former love? my friend? I decide to say "JC, this is Lena, Lena, this is JC, my friend from T5. She externs her hand across me under my ams on the arm rests to shake JC's hand. I take her hand in mine after that, and I'm deeply saddened by the fact that I won't be able to take her hand in the future.

      I'm adjusting some written materials now that L and I are breaking up. I'm looking at my signature close up on paper. I recognize the first letter of my first name written in cursive but it is still strange and not quite from the alphabet. It's written in blue/green. I read then my last name in a stylized script font, very clear and regular shapes like on a computer. This is not my handwriting. I realize that it was written this way specifically to be highly legible.

      + glass house
      There is a glass house on a hill, someone breaks in there is tons of broken glass everywhere, there is a (glass?) dog lying on the ground a bit away from the house, covered with sequins that gets covered by the sharp shards of glass. I start to clear away the glass from the dog, it's owner (woman?) approaches

      + bus/music
      Seated on a bus (left-hand side near the front, where I used to site in Jr High) with a girl putting together a [my instrument]. I'm using a bottom piece from a professional player, mixing and matching pieces to build up an instrument. The player and an older woman (organizer?) are there, standing in the aisle to my right. The (woman?) recognizes me as a (normal and bass version of my instrument) player, and I acknowledge that yes, I play both. The player takes back his borrowed bottom piece saying I don't need it, I think I do but then realize I don't and say I could just play the bass version while the girl could play the normal version.

      + LDD #266 LD DILD DDILD
      stairway stars lucid man hat take me to group goose girl take her hand continue walking dream fades
      repeat non-lucid ask man take me to group, enter auditorium [DS], from right side (facing stage), go to left side (or am just there), undress girl (many layers of pants!), ushers come and kick us both out, heavy makeup, I remove her makeup and we sneak back inside the auditorium

      Climbing a stairway outside evening softer light, looking up into the sky above bare trees at the top of the staircase. Around the moon I notice a shifting / dancing pattern of bright little solid yellow "pentagram" 5-point shaped stars. They're fading in and out, becoming fuzzy/vague, then returning to clarity. Especially when they rotate in a circle that really gets my attention, I recognize that as a dream sign, and do a nose pinch, I can breathe, now I'm lucid. I walk up to the top of the stairs, there are people walking buy, I grab the arm of a man with a straw hat and tell him to take me to a large group of people, and I add that I know that they are nearby (so as not to waste time). I begin walking on a path to the right. An attractive young woman (short brunette hair) comes along and I reach out and give her a squeeze but don't want to get too engrossed, so I just take her right hand and turn to the right and continue walking along the path with her, happy, looking around at the detail, and the dream fades...

      I then repeat this plot non-lucidly (not a pure replay the visuals are different): I find a man and task him to take me to a large group of people. I enter an auditorium [DS] from the back right (facing stage). I find a young woman and begin pulling down her pants: there is layer after layer of pants and when I think I finally have reached the last one and expect to see her [ahem], there is nothing really to see. An usher comes and shoo's us out of the auditorium out of a left-side exit. The young woman's face is very heavily made up with colorful makeup. I clean off her face and then want to sneak back in to the auditorium past a security turnstyle, hoping that we won't be recognized.

      + fire room
      In a medium-sized room in a house, combined bedroom (left) living room (right). In the living room there is a fireplace with an automated fire system. I'm watching it mesmerized by its changing form and function. It has wheels and gears and metal bars/lines that move and shape change. There is fire spewing out of the open pipes. It's shaped in rectangles and a spinning circle in the middle. I think that this could be dangerous for us in the room. The fireplace changes into a flamethrower shooting a stream/column of fire into the room, sweeping the room from corner to corner, I think there's no way to escape.

      SphGrv is there lying on the bed on the left side, with her brother(?). She is lying in an provocative post and I think I catch a glimpse of a portion of her [ahem]. I wonder if she would like it if I went over there and engaged with her?

      Then she and others are on a central bed. There is an old fat perv guy trying to get her and the women drunk on vodka. He is pouring them huge glasses of the stuff, I can't believe the amount, it must be like 100ml or more, even for SG. SG takes the glass but does not drink, I can see she clearly does not want to. The man himself has poured and is drinking bourbon. He's encouraging her to drink. I'm talking to him, asking him about what kind of bourbon he has. He responds gruffly not wanting to share, (that it would spoil his taste?), I reply I don't want to drink it, I just wanted to know what it was. Later I get SG aside and tell her I'm really glad she avoided drinking the vodka.

      +[f] Someone at my pepper! It was growing on a plant [waking life true!] I was nursing along, and someone picked it without my permission!

      By the way this is my 800th DJ entry on DV!
      non-lucid , memorable
    13. 2021-08-31 Epic! Neighbor woman saga, firepit outside CH window, hamsters, coal train car, concert

      by , 08-31-2021 at 08:51 AM
      One of those fabulous "overflow" dreaming nights -- hard to remember it all, including a long, vivid, epic non-lucid! My first since my return to full-on practice, and a really big motivation boost!

      ~100ml champagne brut before bed
      2 ice cream bars (1 of them an it's-it style cookie ice cream sandwich)
      No supplements, sniffed some lavender essential oil

      bedtime ~23:00
      final waking: 09:23

      + giving a shot to my (fiance?)

      [mid ]
      + in my bedroom in CH at night, standing at the windows, there is a fire burning in a "fire pit" placed outside the windows on the side of the house, I see the flames, the smoke is entering the room though cracks in the old wooden window frames. My mother is lying on the bed closer to the door, I ask her about the cost of installing the fire pit, she answers "1 12." I say that "I don't know what that means, does that mean 1/12th the cost of a 'normal installation?' Did it cost $100,000? $50,000? $20,000?"

      + [epic, long, vivid] Saga of the neighbor woman:
      I'm lying on (my?) lawn outdoors on a suburban street with my head facing the sidewalk which runs left to right (with a friend to the left?). Daytime (not very bright but not night). A woman with a small child/boy walk from left to right by us. Then (I think) the same woman with the boy walks from right to left heading in front of us again, and I mention to my friend, "Oh, there's that boy again." Right away, the woman gets down right in front of my face and asks very aggressively, "What do you mean, 'there's that boy...again'!?!?" I'm a bit flustered by her aggression and try to explain I just meant that I recognized the boy from earlier.

      We're walking with this woman to her house which is up the street a little ways. As we approach the entrance, I study the architecture of the house, note the dark stained wooden shingles lining the walls, and recognize this as a feature of many houses in B, and mention this. I'm describing all the feature of the house as we enter. There seems to be a party going on, the house is full of people. I say that this is another typical feature, that these houses are full of hippies smoking marijuana. The guys look very hippy-ish with long bushy beards, they're all young, in their early 20's. I see the guy who I think is the husband of the woman.

      We're in a room with the husband, his friends, and we're playing music. I'm thinking about singing something [details forgotten].

      Wandering around the house, I notice a guy entering a room from a small courtyard, and I think this is a bathroom and the house has the bathroom entrance from the outside.

      Inside a large living room of the house, it's night, and everyone is preparing to go to sleep. The room is fully of the young hippy people, men and women. There are no real beds, but everybody is gathering blankets (plaid?) and pillows and settling down on the ground and on couches for the night. The woman is one of the people on the bed, and (the protagonist, who is no longer me?) is shuffling the people trying to get in to position to lie next to her. Everybody on that long couch is lying parallel to each other, packed really tightly.

      I'm up on the roof of the house. All the roofs of neighboring houses are all located back to back next to each other, heading off into the horizon. They are colored light pastels: pinks, blues. People are in hot tubs on the top of the house, and they're talking very aggressively towards me [DS, I guess!]. I threaten them that I will pour the hot tub water down into their houses if they don't back off. This doesn't work and the kids from the hot tubs pursue me. I get back to the ground level and the kids are ganging up on me, throwing what looks like large Pop-Tarts at me. I am wondering if I should pick these things up and eat them!

      I'm on the street corner down at the end of the street. I'm doing tricks on a long skateboard with multiple trucks on it. It's raining. There's another guy on the other corner also doing tricks, and he sort of gets in my way.

      In a courtyard amongst buildings outside the woman's house, there is a big show, a young man is unveiling a massive (cubic meter sized) drone/robot/missile/thing made out of legos. He takes the thing take off and it looks like a missile, but it rapidly is transforming its shape as it swoops up and down and flies all around us at high speed, it is very impressive. Then the guy, since he's "against me" [DS], as a grand finale, flies the drone right at me and it hits me square in the face, since it's made of lego it doesn't hurt, it all falls to the ground in pieces around me. To show my disdain for this attack, I stomp on the pieces of the drone, completely breaking it so it can never fly again.

      In a pool outside the house, like a community pool. It is packed with people, and it is night/dark outside. In the distance, up a hill, I see the neighbor woman sitting on a chair. I sense and see that there are some guards (female) who are looking at me suspiciously from around a corner. I'm trying to avoid them seeing me [DS], I think they know that I'm not allowed to be here since I'm not a resident. There is a small boy pressing closely up against me from the right. His face is right up against mine, the view of his face is a bit out of focus, he's saying something (which I didn't understand?) and I detect the strong smell of alcohol coming from his mouth. The pool if very shallow (like a wading pool) and I'm moving about trying to stay out of view of the guards.

      Back in the hippy/woman house, the woman is there, me, and a few guys. I'm looking intently at the walls and ceiling of the house, which in almost every room has been stripped to the wall boards. I think that this is a tradition in this house: since the levels between the floors are so thick with so much material, the residents periodically strip down the walls /ceilings to the boards then add their decorations. In this case, the protagonist (not me, not here with us now) is planning to make a massive mural of the Great Wall of China all throughout the house (as a tribute to the woman?). I'm wondering and say, this will probably take many years, and you guys here with me, and the woman, may have already long graduated and left by the time the mural is finished. I can see the details of the wall boards and ceiling, and am studying these intently from room to room.

      [after recalling for about 10-15 minutes, time is 05:23]


      + Standing with others (late wife? PaZi?) observing the hamsters (guinea pigs?) in their cage. The animals themselves are not seen. I notice the galvanized colored wire fencing that runs floor to ceiling around the cage. The openings in the fencing are about 1/2-inch squares. I notice the grey concrete floor of the cage, and notice that the poops have been neatly swept to one corner. The owner goes to throw in the food to feed the animals, using a long pole. I'm disappointed because I was hoping she'd open the fencing and we'd be able to interact with the animals. But I see they're very aggressive, they are a dark blur as they vigorously attack the pile of food.

      I notice that I've feeling something in my pants. I realized I've pooped in my pants, and I'm in a panic about this. I don't understand how this could have happened without me knowing. I wonder if the others can smell it (I don't)? I quickly move down the hallways on my way to the bathroom. I'm going to have to strip and wash everything and put it back on.

      I'm turning corners at right angles, always turning left. I enter a large-ish room there there is an Audi car parked. The driver is in the car and is moving to exit the room out of the entrance from which I entered. There is a wall/divider in the middle of the room, and I am moving to keep myself on the other side of the divider from the car and the driver, so he does not see me [DS]. As the car moves forwards, I change my position to remain unseen across the divider. I enter a long corridor on the way to the bathroom, and encounter a lot of (my? ours) clothes strewn about the floor very messily. I'm picking up pants, shirts, etc. as I go. I think about the notion of always wanting your kids to return home at any time to do laundry, etc. even when they're grown up.


      + Outside, near a train, out group is getting ready for a trip. I move to the back of the train but the way is blocked because the train is backed up completely against (a car?) behind it. I push the train, hoping to get it to move enough to let me get past, and am a bit surprised that it moves, I think there must have been some "slack" between the cars of the train or I never would have been able to move it. I open the high back window of the end of the train car to check the coal levels -- I discover that the coal compartment is not fully loaded up to the ceiling, like it should be. A group gathers to discuss this situation. I'm wondering how we're going to get this compartment filled -- will we have to order a coal cart to some here and shovel it in ourselves? I reach in and pick up a piece of the hard, black, rough-edged coal, about the size of a BBQ charcoal briquette, and put it back in.


      + arrive to pick up my instrument from the storage locker while the concert is beginning, the storage area has a clear door [DS](?). I think I've picked up a delivery just previously to this one from a storage container. I reach in and pick up my instrument case, and take it out, showing it to the people around. I look down and see a red-colored case through the case cover, and then I see that the case is opened and what I'm seeing is the red wood coloring of my instrument. I put the case carefully down on the ground and make sure that all the pieces are there and not falling out. I wonder if I am going to need to grab a fold-up music stand as well to use for the concert. The orchestra is already playing while I'm still setting up.

      I move to a closet (with white pillows/linens?) with a percussionist. He's talking about how he's going to know where his entrances are. I try repeatedly to say "you just need to learn the *context* of your entrances from the rehearsals", but every time I try to say something he keeps butting in and interrupting me. He eventually says what I wanted to say all along.

      Back in the chamber (darkened) with the musicians, they're announcing recognition awards. They announce my name, badly mispronouncing the final syllable of my last name. I say "What!?" and think the conductor very well knows the proper pronunciation of my name. I go to sit among the musicians, and sit there a while where more musicians are recognized. The ones called move through a curtain behind the orchestra. I'm sitting there a while then someone says I should go there, too, to be with the other recognized musicians. I move through the curtain. A group of the young musicians are mulling around, I'm wondering what we're supposed to do next. Some of them are lying on the ground at my feet to my right. A young lying (woman?) reaches up and takes my right hand in hers. I keep the contact, holding her hand, and looking down at her as I move a few steps forwards.
      memorable , non-lucid
    14. 2020-10-14 nearly lucid, ultra vivid & present dream: cloud, flying, superman suit, clay people

      by , 10-14-2020 at 09:19 AM
      I have no idea where the asterisks are all coming from below. RC.

      + company parking lot [DS], thinking about parking. There is a path up and to the right.
      Later (different dream?) I'm standing at the top of a steep set of stairs, looking down into the parking area below. I realize I'm standing on the other side of the area where I was earlier (from my car) looking at and up the hill. I'm very careful selecting my footing as I begin to descend the stairway.

      + at work, with JoWei [company 3, B and N colleague], we're going to have lunch. At the counter, there is a choice between different colored aspics. The "chef" brings out different trays containing these aspics, colored brightly: purple, red, blue. They do not look very appetizing.

      + with [deceased] wife, we're walking in a mall (?) outside in the parking area, she says how, since I'm not around any more and don't visit her, she has had to ask BrZim (old lawyer friend who loved her) to come visit her. This makes me really sad. I think I should not be close to her or try to caress or kiss her since this would be inappropriate since we're not together any more [This led to dozing/waking? thoughts of sadness about our sometimes troubled relationship, and how I should have perhaps done more to be better]

      + (ultra-vivid/present, nearly lucid)
      It may have started within an office setting, I'm not sure of that.* *
      But where it really picked up, was: I'm sitting on a bench in a courtyard outside.* Bright sunshine, balmy California day.* * This area is the yard for a company where I do not work and where I do not know the people, yet I'm still hanging out with them.* *Across from me in a shady circle clearing two people (gender unclear) are playing pickup-jacks.* I watch the little ball bounce, I count along with them: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.* I don't see any jacks, though.* *One of them has a string attached to their hand.* * I am very content and comfortable.* I think I would really like to work here, because*it is so close to where I live, I would have a trivial commute.* *I'm looking around the fringe of the courtyard to the*surrounding buildings in the area as I think this.* There are people sitting to my left and right, I sense their heads in my peripheral vision, but don't look at them closely.* *I have* a feeling of serene happiness.* *I look up at the sky, it is bright and blue without a cloud.**

      Then entering from the left, an inky black roiling cloud blotting out the entire sky is moving rapidly towards us, from left to right.* *I stand up and make some comment (or it's a thought), about how I have to go now and don't want to stick around for that cloud, and with a thought about wondering what they think about my flying away, I do a superman take off and start flying to the right, to stay ahead of the cloud.

      I'm flying right* on the wavefront of the cloud, I'm partially within it, I look at it and see bits of things swirling about violently, wisps of cloud, rain perhaps.* *I will myself to fly faster to stay ahead of it.* I really focus on flying faster and faster to stay ahead of it.* I want to fly 2x, 3x faster.* * I turn around and continue flying away from the cloud (back-first) while I'm looking at it.* *I think if superman's suit was made to be water-repellant (meaning it reacts like a magnet to water, pushing the wearer away from the water), he could be able to effortlessly fly faster than any persuing*cloud, because the water vapor in the cloud would repel him away.

      Then I'm standing in a long featureless corridor.* I think (or someone says?) that if this were true, people could then manipulate and control superman by moving water around him to repel him into a place of their choosing.* I look down on the floor and there is a flat image of a smashed-up superman, presumably who suffered from this feature of his water-repelling suit.

      I move into an adjoining room.* *The visual quality sharpens and is super vivid.* *There are two (female-like) characters here.* *The substance of the room (walls & floors) and the people themselves are like clay models.* *But they're moving.* * Very sharp and vivid.* *The colors are: black, brown, deep red.* They both have black hair, but their bodies seem to be sculpted out of clay as well.* *Strange faces.* * I have a fleeting thought about sexual engagement with them since I detected their female-ness but did not pursue this.* I hear a man's voice from an adjoining room.* I enter the room (wondering if the* women are guards and will follow me), and there is another clay man there with similar features to the women, black hair, he's (training a young person?).* *There's a (clay?) bear?* *

      That's all I remember, I think I woke at that point.
    15. 2020-10-05

      by , 10-05-2020 at 12:20 PM
      Big dreaming night, and pretty good sleep. No extended insomnia.

      Got very tipsy, two large-ish glasses of wine.
      Ate fresh apple cake, two ice creams, bowl of chips.
      Had a happy attitude all evening.
      Watched videos before bed.
      Read a little bit before bed.
      bedtime ~23:30

      Taking a more relaxed attitude is everything.


      + floating in ocean, attacked by giant whale shark fish like thing, roll around to avoid its mouth getting eaten, it swims off eventually

      + guard at the doorway, I present my key to prove my right to be here, enter apt. see son S1? guard follows, the apartment has colorful but peeling walls, I'm a bit ashamed of the apartment


      + attending some big conference, (outside, preparing to go in)

      + playing wilderness golf?

      + car broken into and emptied. (after a meeting?) I go out to my car parked on the street. It's in the middle of an intersection? The blue ford fiesta? I see that it has been broken into, and completely stripped. It looks like there is nothing left inside. I am panicked and upset, I walk around the car looking for anything, but it's completely stripped. Even my registration is gone, totally empty. Even the jack has been stolen. Looking more, I see there is a door pocket/panel opened on the left side passenger door with some stuff left inside it, I wonder why they didn't take it. There's a police patrol car right next to me, and I'm blocking them and they're trying to get by, I stop them and tell them my car's been broken into.

      + scooter turned donkey ride! [very vivid, feelings of acceleration and gravity!]
      The best/most vivid dream of the night is probably the scooter-donkey ride. I was very closely inspecting [inspecting objects, thinking about them and how they work, especially with a close up view, is a sure DREAM SIGN for me. Very often this is door knob/gate locking mechanisms, and sink faucets] "my" scooter. I very clearly saw the gas in the trasparent gas tank sloshing around, interestingly, it seemed to be getting *fuller* rather than leaking out. I looked around back and found that it was leaking, and so I manipulated some things to close the container to stop the leak. I move around to the back of the scooter and inspect the various components that are hanging by their wires attached to the main corpus of the scooter. I line up one on the right hand side and attach it, using guide arrows, and do the same for another component, but on the left side of the scooter. Now a circular grey-scale display lights up with a control and gague system for the scooter and I start touching things to configure it. (There is some woman nearby who comments on something? Forgot...). My attention moves to the handlebars, and the left handlebar front brake control, which seems non-functional. It seems not attached to anything and just flapping there, I try manipulating it buy I get the sense it's not attached to anything. I look down to the front wheel as I'm doing this. I wonder about the maximum speed of this scooter, and the figure 35 MPH pops into my head. I imagine riding it and pushing on the handles to turn (like on a motorcycle, push left to go left, push right to go right). I mount the scooter, which now inexplicably has transformed into a small donkey! There is still a central circular display/handle and I now hold on to this and we take off. It is outside in daylight on a hilly country road setting with no trees. I "turn" the donkey to a side road that heads upwards, fairly rough gravelly/rocky terrain, and wonder if this thing has the strength to go long with me on it, and how well it will go uphill. The response is that it energetically sprints up the hill, very quickly, and *accelerates*! I feel the gravity and the acceleration as I strengthen my grip to hold on! We lurch forwards up the hill, turning towards the right. Now it seems that we are in some multi-townhouse division with a paved roadway/driveway, still hilly, still heading uphill. There are two men working in the road ahead, and I'm somewhat concerned about encountering them. As I pass them they do not seem threatening but are amused at my passage. Then something about turning downhill and giving a little girl a flower, but that is less clear.

      + walking through office with g/f L, we're in the printer room, there are large printer/copier devices there, they have colorful declas on the side, we kiss briefly in printer room, look at oddly colored and logoed printer/copiers, walk to cube, lots of people in close space close cubes, drinks cooler on ice on desk full of bottles of cold beverages, many of them motel-sized small drink bottles, many of them alcoholic, the manager there warns that some of those are very potent, I enter my cube, there's a team of young IT guys dismantaling routers there, wires are everywhere, they're asking me questions
      non-lucid , memorable
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