im in this upstairs flat apartment i've never seen before. I think me and my sister just moved in. There's this guy who i know was a spy, and lied about who he was and faked getting close to me because it was his assignment. I stopped associating with him but i can see through a cloud foggy thought that he's over at some agency looking at us on a computer and some grey haired guy telling him he needs to get into our place and wedge himself back into our life. The boss guy is pissed and scolding but then the guy who i got away from who had black curly hair smugly tells him he knows what to do. He says that he just needs to befriend my sister and that she's gullible. Next thing i know my sister is letting him in our apartment and i become furious and tell her about who he really is and that he needs to get out of our place immediately and i go and throw him down the stairs towards the exit. But then my sister says he needs to get his stuff first and he goes back up and i hear through the door my sister is eating pizza with him and offering him pizza and i realize she lied to keep him there longer and that she fell for his lies. i go and shove the pizza in his face and destroy his stuff then throw it out over the balcony while the guy pretends to be innocent and a victim then i finally force him out and chase him away with a bat, it felt like trying to explain no longer works and the only thing that works is violence and force. (reflecting on what the dream means, these are feelings i have about my grandma and mom having willing ignorance about how horrible of people my niece and half sister are and force subject everyone to them and no matter how much evidence showing how much of monsters they are they will prioritize them above themselves and others mental well-being)
Watching Gumball and football At my parents' house, I'm watching TV, there's an episode of Gumball : an adventure of Gumball and Darwin in the jungle, carried away by the waterfall, they encounter a T. Rex and shout out of fear. I'm zapping channels, there's a cartoon on channel 18, soccer on several channels, I watch a soccer match : one player had a brilliant idea : he lets the ball go out near the goal, while the goalkeeper catches a second ball. They do the touch at the same time, and the player scores with the official ball (he nearly missed). That poopoo spray guy I'm with Craygar, he does his 626 effect saying "Poopoo spray", I do it too but not as easily, he does the 626 + throat bass at the same time. Island choices, T. rex chases I'm on an island with a guy. We have two scripted choices available each time, said by the narrator. There's a T. rex, so we run towards the beach, but the dinosaur followed us. The guy makes the choice to stay and face him, I choose to escape (the narrator is disappointed). Passing through the jungle, the dino is chasing me. I arrive at a large playground, the floor is sand. I choose to escape again. Angry, the T. rex shouts and chases me, when suddenly a volcano erupts. While the T. rex is distracted, I hide behind a wooden wall.
I've been severely anemic and ill for the past three years. My iron and oxygen levels seem to be improved to the point I can work around the house. I have privilege of being able to nap when I want. I found my password my DV account. I'm so excited at the idea that maybe if I reread my earlier journal entries I could regain the ability to re-enter lucid dreaming. I found some of my gold and lung dreaming powder. It's about 3 years old so not sure if it's going to work. Here's to hoping. I miss going to the deep down but further than that I think there must be other worlds that are open to me where I can find deeper answers. I'm missing quite a few journal entries from another app I hope to recover soon to be able to integrate into these. The tea tastes bitter... But I hope that it awakens something in my mind that has been drifting in the fog during my illness.
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