non-lucid

Trouble sleeping. Mind going haywire again

Searching

I go to look for Jamie but she's in a different town. I go there and she's in this dream where she's living a different life as some skater teen or something. She's too cool to even acknowledge I'm there. she takes off somewhere and I was going to look for her But I get caught up in other dream characters and their story line.

fortdumb

I keep dreaming of fortnite a lot where I keep getting wins. IRL I really suck at the game.

Not again

A dream audio only. A woman is saying like a newscaster that Jamie took her own life... Please no more dreams like this.

Gonna try to journal daily for a bit maybe. Keep my motivation up.


Dream 1

Walking around in a Building with jamie. Dream was very vague. Just a couple seconds of walking with her.

Dream 2

At mcdonald's with the store manager that left. She made me lean till. Had to deal with this horrible woman customer. Saw her go outside angry, but outside was in a grassy field with trees.

Dream 3

Jesus is with me and Jamie on the hill. Me and Jamie are hugging in reconciliation. Jesus is smiling at us. Don't celebrate yet, I have yet to hear from her.

Dream 4

I'm at home but everything is out of place. I'm with my dog, when I notice and exact living replica of my dog. I pay attention to one dog and the other whines for attention. I realize this sucks. I have to spend twice the food, give double the attention and everything. I wonder if this will ever end when I wake up.

Wow is this site dying?

Time travel?

Me, Jamie, Asuka and Data enter one of those dream movies or something that Me and Asuka watch where we go right into the screen and participate in the scenario. The movie seems to be about Jamie. We apparently travel into Jamie's past to save her from certain things that would cause her to make bad decisions or something. She looks in her teens again like from the lucid where I found her. she's wearing the white shirt she used to wear under her work vest from when i worked with her. Jamie says to me in the middle of this, "You're saving me, are we going to get married?" and smiles. Well yes, if I have to. Might wanna really talk about this to me first.

Strange fight

Just remember I was in some downtown marketplace or something and got into a fight with some guy. He pulled out some circle thing like from doctor strange or something. It was a portal to himself from other dimensions. So if you punched him, he would deflect with the circle thing but himself from another dimension would block the punch or take the hit. He kept saying I was never going to win because I was fighting all of him from all dimensions.

Bus

Dreamed I was on a bus or something. Jamie was in the back with my cousin. they seemed to be ignoring me. I was sitting near the front arguing with some bald woman who was being really mean.

My recall is still pretty low.

Unfortunately. No Jamie dreams.

I had some HH imagery of Bjork smiling at me. Haven't dreamed of her in a while.

Hiding

Me and some woman. (might have been jamie but not sure) Are up against some fortnite player in a game. We are in a giant building. We just go really love in the building where there are hundreds of rooms. We realize he's gone after a while.

night

Vague dream. I was on a hill at night time with someone. We look down the hill and see lights running along a path going up to us. When the lights arrive it turns out they are lions. But friendly lions.

Jamie seems disturbed.

I was walking along some street in a city. I found the gravity was light going up some steps and I started bouncing and floating up. Became lucid here and looked at my hands. The were blurry and so was the rest of the dream. I instinctively wanted to find Jamie. I kept walking around intending for the dream to change to find her but it didn't. I wound up in a market place with a bunch of blue faced people with large heads. "Does anyone know where Jamie is?" I asked. Most people walked by and said nothing. I kept asking and some blue faced guy said he knows her. He held up a picture or a mirror to me and I jumped in.


I found myself in a room. Jamie seemed to be in a corner by a mirror and she was writing something on a paper. She also seemed in her teens. I called her name. She seemed upset that I was there and wasn't saying anything. Oops. I held her shoulders and she transformed into a small animal that seemed to be dying. It was in my arms. I was just petting it saying sweet things. Can't remember what but i was just trying to be very kind. She began to transform into a human again when I woke up.

Other non lucids are too vague to even remember. One, i was just working with my dad.

Jamie Dreams

First one is a flash of Jamie standing in front of me wearing a wedding dress, she is smiling. We're getting married? Okay, these dreams are really out there now.

The next few dreams mainly consisted of me trying to visit Jamie but she wasn't available and/or was avoiding me. Definitely a pattern here. Even when I knew her this was her: Wanting to get closer. I say: yes, okay. She: Backs off. Gets closer next time. Asks for more. I say: okay. She: backs off again. Wash rinse repeat. I think this is to be expected by now.

Next I have a dream where I confront her. I remind her of how she would say things that highly indicated she really liked me/ felt close to me. But then would cover up a moment later and down play it. the most comical being she was suggesting sending me a picture, you know the kind long distance couples might send. Then after a long pause for what must have been a full minute or so. She says, "Well a PG version anyway." Still waiting on that one BTW. And after so long She better send the full version . Kidding.

Anyway what she said back to me in the dream was really disturbing. "Well, I was just messing with you because it was funny." Um wait. What? Is it really necessary to say such a thing? I almost believe her. But then i remember When I spoke to her last in person and said, "I'm really gonna miss you," She looked like she was hit in the stomach, almost fell over and said something quietly that i barely even heard, "I'm gonna miss you too." Followed by a cover up a few seconds later as if she had said nothing at all. Yeah, who does she think She is fooling? That looked like it hit her pretty hard too.

Next day: First, I have dream where she apologizes for saying that. She's almost crying, her face in a weird smile, or more like a grimace of pain. I always forgive of course. Next dream is us just laying in bed cuddling
. Maybe a second one like that.

But how would she know over the span of a few days that she said that? I never posted dreams until now. So how would she know? I remember I once had a dream where she was talking to voices in her head that sounded like me. Does she really do that? I do. And this weekend we argued a lot. I really should have my head checked I think. I mean how deep does this rabbit hole go? I've linked the voice directly to my dreams, and also her doings directly to my dreams. so either it's actually her sometimes, or... Familiar spirits, (demons) that sometimes repeat what she is saying to herself. I dunno. I wish I had answers... If they are demons. They REALLY have her personality down.

Val

I'm working with Val, The lesbian. She asks me if she is the kind of girl I would marry. I say, "Yes." she looks really offended at that. Then why ask? When I said ,"yes," i mean the type of person not their orientation.

Death Squad

I'm in a gymnasium with a crowd of people. Some blond guy in his early 20's is being voted to be put to death. The vote goes through. I go hide in another room somewhere as they take him outside and shoot him because I don't want to see it.

also why am I getting ads for women's lingerie on DV?

Well this week or months. have been bad for recall. Can't recall many of my longer non lucids because they weren't interesting enough to hold in my memory. Should I start taking notes again?

Jamie dreams

First one is: I dream Jamie started her own psychic webpage as a call psychic. While I am a christian and I don't agree with this. Since I probably gave her the ideas please send me royalties!!!

Most of these dreams were like hypnagogic imagery while falling asleep.

second one is she is holding my chin and kisses me.

In one dream I am on the fortnite map and hanging with some blond girl. Her energy completely blocks out Jamie's and overtakes it completely. I am dumbstruck since no one can steal Jamie's thunder.

Then I have one where I am reading the message I sent her... I find I can't send anymore messages. she has me on block or something. But her profile picture changes.. twice. I feel intensely rejected in this dream.

Another where I am trying to find her but she avoids me at every turn.

In the last one she seems to have gotten over her mood or whatever it was. We are in a fortnite game on opposing teams. but we decide to team up anyway. just me and Her. Our energy seems drawn to one another no matter what. We just walk alone on a hill somewhere quietly.

Jesus has been strangely quiet in these past few weeks.

Wrong house

I walk into some youtuber's house. his and his girlfriend are mad that I'm just there. He just yells at me to leave.

Arguing

Had this right after the other dream. Same scenario. But I'm in a house arguing with my distant uncle and his wife. They really hate me and keep asking me to leave. At one point the woman asks, "Tell me about the gospel." but it descends into another argument and I leave.

Jamie dreams are swingy.

Walking.

In this dream we are walking to a 711 or something. the ground is covered in snow. That's all I remember.

Scary

In this dream I just see Jamie talking to herself. Just repeating, "Don't do it. Don't do it." Over and over again. Not sure why or over who or what.

Really?

Just and audio one while I'll falling asleep. I clearly heard, "I love you."

Quiet

I find Jamie in an attic. She won't look at me or talk to me. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. She vanishes somewhere so me and some friends go everywhere trying to look for her. I have an uneasy feeling the whole time.

cruising

another good dream where me and Jamie are just cruising around in her car. wish I remembered more on this one.

H

Walking around with a girl I used to dream about way too many years ago. True story: I had this dream where I was flying up around her, and she asked, "how do you do that?" I said <"Just flap your arms and float up." A fe days later I see her IRL and she goes up to me all excited and says she's been having these silly dreams where she flies by flapping her arms.

In the dream we start at a house. I am trying on some clothes when I realize I have 3 shirts on. And it's hot out. so I go down to one shirt. Me and H leave. We wind up in some jungle. We came across a swamp after all these trails. But we both had different ways to cross it. That's all I remember.

Jamie 1

A dream of Jamie sitting on a couch. Some guy comes from behind her and tries to choke her or something, but she got some moves... She grabs his head and flips him over the couch and does all this kung fu stuff on him.

LOL

Jamie is DTF: down to fortnite . We are in the old retail row are looting and she keeps joking with me. I don't remember her being one to banter but we were doing stuff like that.


Jesus

A dream of Jesus giving Jamie a big hug. Nice.

What

Dreamed I was in some school that was on a hill or something. I had friends waiting outside and they left their beer inside and I was to retrieve it for them. I find the beers and stuff them in my pockets. Some security or professor guy starts yelling at me or something. I just go along with it. I don't want him to see the bulged in my pockets so when his back is turned i place the beers on bookshelves behind books. The guy is ranting for a long long time. When he finally leaves me alone I stuff the beers back in my pockets and run outside.

Stahp it.

Another fortnite dream... Jamie is watching me trying to kill someone who boxed himself up. But the two sisters I used to work with, C and C, are there, and we are also joking around. Jamie looks from afar and seems upset also her energy has gone from blue to a lighter teal. I just wish I could hear from her.

Mainly short dreams.

legs

I'm on my bed and some girl is on it. She's all ready for... um, yeah.

Sushi

I'm at some mall with my brother and I decide to go to the food court and order sushi. that's it.

Jamie 1

This was a quick one I had one the bus. It was a birds eye view of Jamie, but I was also Jamie in this dream. She feels kind of burdened also somber. She is filled with blue energy. Now in the Jesus dream where me and her are on the hill. where Jesus' arm goes through our backs, Blue energy comes from me, and Red energy comes from Jamie. Now she has blue energy. Not sure what this means.

Fortnite.

Okay really. I haven't even played this game much lately. But anyway, Me and my brother are in the backyard of my inner world house. We are by a pond or pool in a back porch area. there's TVs set up with video games. My brother wants to play fortnite for some reason. I try to play with him. I find an old controller but it has mad stick drift, it makes the game unplayable.

Had another fortnite dream. In it I am one of the creators and we are testing out something. In this dream there are things floating in the sky like on Apex. We are all talking about technical shit I don't understand. IRL season 9 drops... and guess what. Now there are floating things in fortnite in the sky. Precog dream? What a useless gift to have. I want precog dreams that predict lottery numbers and cards to play for poker. what the hell is this?

A few months ago I had a dream that Pewdiepie, decided to play fortnite. A week or so later, IRL he plays fortnite once on a livestream to fight T-Series.

Jesus again

Just a dream of Jesus showing me the door out of his office. I guess he's tired of me bugging him about the same thing...

Jamie again.

In this dream Jamie comes to live with me. I get home from work, or we both do. I lay down a bit and can't sleep. I get up and decide to have a quick smoke. I open the sliding closet in my room and get my jacket. Jamie is behind me and she grabs hers as well. I say to her that she doesn't have to go for a smoke everytime I do. I keep saying things like, Honey, and Sweetie, I wonder if this talk annoys her. She says she wants to. I realize I should just let her. suddenly she is replaced by my brother, and it's like it's been him all along. The house is different now. I wonder when he is going to leave since he doesn't have a job.

I have other dreams where my brother is everywhere. He follows me around everywhere. It's like I can't do anything without him. It's so annoying. I wake up and wonder if some strange force is now making me perceive Jamie in dreams as my brother. Like family. Wouldn't be as annoying if it was Jamie.

Semi Lucid

Become lucid wandering in some house. There are some boxes everywhere. they are all white and every size you can imagine. I open one box and it takes me into another room that looks like the same house. The rest of it is foggy but I'm basically finding more hidden rooms which lead to different houses with more hidden rooms etc.

Oh no

I'm flying above drumheller with Jamie. Some force hits me from behind and I launch right into a rocky foothill. My mouth is bloody and full of sand.

Thank you

First as I'm falling asleep, I see Jesus in profile. He looks different in almost every dream. I remember in one he was actually a black man.

suddenly I'm in a dark room sitting on a chair in front of a screen, like a laptop or a TV. There is an electronic device under my hand. It could be a touch screen phone or a mouse. I feel another hand go over that hand I look to my right and it's Jamie. She's smiling and is warm. She nods and we both push the button on the device. She then goes and pulls out a Rolodex or something. My impression is that these are memory files she then has to sort through.

Days later while awake I decided to finish another message to her. Being more thorough this time. I spend hours typing, revising, deleting and rewriting. I fit it down to the 20,000 character limit that facebook messaging allows. Although there is so much more to say. I'm nervous as hell, take my dog for too many walks and smoke like crazy. when I am satisfied with my composition. i paste it all into the message box. go out smoke again go for another walk. go back to it. I have my hand over the mouse almost deciding again not to send. I then remember the dream, Jamie's hand over mine. We were pushing the send button together. Then going through memory files? are we finally going to compare notes? I click: send.

Well, it's been a few days. and I keep not remembering non lucids. So it's time to log some I had today. I had to take 2 melatonin today just to sleep in the afternoon. (I work nights)

netflix and what?

Just a brief micro dream while falling asleep of me and Jamie in my bedroom. we are lying on my bed, which is too small for the both of us but we are trying to manage. We are picking a show on netflix. she is using a remote. IRL I use an xbox controller.

crazy ass Castle.

I'm in some abandoned houses. There seems to be a whole district of them! As a lover of abandoned places I think i've struck gold. After exploring a few I notice some extremely shady homeless people nearby. I remember i'm on a mission or something to find a castle. I go outside and it's right there across the street. It looks really evil, it is really glossy back. It's also surrounded by a black glossy fence that looks like it would cut you if you tried to go over it. I cross the street to try to break in. but then I notice some women with black angel wings guarding the fence They are all dressed in black, and in Gothic sort of makeup. Every 20 ft or so another girl is posted. I avoid a mean looking one to my left and decide to walk on the sidewalk to my right. Another fence materializes on the side by the road, so I am walking between two fences. The blond gaurd comes up to me, She had a clack spear but doesn't threaten me with it. She asks in a friendly way where I am going. I say I am trying to reach someplace else. I was lying. She warns me not to tread further. She seems nice though and we start having some conversation I can't remember.

Suddenly I am back in my neighbourhood talking to Jay, my neighbour telling him about the place I found. He mentions the abandoned district and says That's a very dangerous plave to explore.

Transitions I am in my house in a different bedroom. There is a younger woman there and I have my arm around her. She seems to be my girlfriend in this dream.

Transitions again and I am in a basement with my old co worker Jeff. We are watching UFC or something on a giant 80 inch TV. I ask him when he got an 80 in TV? He laughs and says he doesn't know.

Transitions again, I seem to be back in the town where the castle is. I seem to live close by. Jay asks me to go into his abandoned house or something to retrieve something. I go but can't figure out which house it is. I walk further to catch a glimpse of the abandoned district again. Then I turn back.

Back in my house now and my dad is there. I am supposed to get a screwdriver or something for him. He tells me to look in his bag. I check the one he asks but all I find is clothes. I go to tell him this isn't the right bag, and it's here my alarm wakes me.

Random dreams

Lots of dreams of just wandering abandoned places. Thought I could recall more may post more of these later.

Jamie Dreams

Despite there seemingly being a lot. the periods between them are getting longer.

In one dream I see a single HH image of Jamie with something around her neck. A crucifix chain? or a charm? she kisses it.

In another dream we are watching Jesus get persecuted in Jerusalem and get hung on the cross. Jamie is crying about it as are some others in the crowd.

In one dream We are in her car at night. I'm living in some apartment building. We start kissing. IT's nice, but after a while she stops me. "That first part was REALLY good," she says. She then tells me that she wasn't feeling the later part. I ask her to elaborate. She wasn't clear on the instructions. and I was getting frustrated. We get into an argument about it and she leaves. I go into my apartment and look at the spot where we were just parked. I replay the scene over in my mind something like a hundred times. Trying to pinpoint where I went wrong. If I did anything wrong.

Dream I am on the hill with Jamie again. Jesus has his hands in our backs. We are closer to the top of the hill now. He is trying to make us face one another. We are both connected through him it feels. He earnestly tells us both. "Now I want you two to come together." Not later or soon. He wants us to do something NOW. But I'm not sure because I don't like messaging her or reaching out to her and she doesn't respond. She made it clear in other dreams that there wasn't anything I could do. That she might try and reach out when she is right with herself or something. I have to try and respect that.

The same day: Checkers again.. This time she says to me, "I love you." I believe it this time. It's not like when she told me this before floating in the dybbuk and seemed drunk on something. This seems more sincere.

another dream I had of Jamie. There was a long week or so where i didn't recall her at all. I was getting a little frustrated so she showed up in a dream where we were just exploring an abandoned building. Don't recall what we did. but it's like she sensed my frustration and showed up to show me she is still around.

strange.

Longish dream. Begins where I am walking my dog at night through a park. I am with someone who is maybe xereniak. I see an angry looking kangaroo down the hill. I don't want my dog to go after it so I keep walking and holding onto my dog's leash. We wind up in an abandoned building. My dog is gone now but I don't seem to notice. I say this place is cool I would love to film it for a youtube video. Xer says that's not possible as this place will be torn down soon. We go down some steps when we hear other people in the building. Xer says the ritual is starting soon so we have to hide in and change clothes in order to fit in. We hide in a closet and quickly change our clothes. I have to get into the strange mormon underwear that its your entire body. I think this is silly. We finish changing and enter a chamber with a bunch of mormon kids. I forget the rest.


Jamie sends a message

I dream I get a really long facebook message from Jamie. she explains what she's been doing the past few years. she lived in various places and was in various relationships. But there's no mention of if we are on good terms again or not. She doesn't say whether she would like to continue with me or not. I wander a city landscape wondering if I should reply back. Should I say, "I'm always here for you no matter what."? I decide against it. She seems in that frame of mind where we are not good with eachother. Me doing anything will not work. And if there is anything I really hate it is the feeling of sending her a message and not getting one back. I hate dealing with that so I don't send a message back.

Bjork...

so in waking life. I get a sudden facebook notification that I am apparently a Bjork top fan. I can now leave comments she can see. Then the next night when I sleep bjork is screaming at me, "Why aren't you doing anything?" Maybe because it could be just a coincidence? Am I supposed to leave creepy comments like, "Hey it's me, that weird dream guy? Please, lets talk about it?". Still really skeptical If I was ever sharing dreams with her. Not sure what I am supposed to do here.

Jamie in jail.

A dream where I see jamie being locked in a jail cell.

more jamie dreams

I had one dream where we were kissing, and another... more checkers.

One dream that made me laugh: I ran into a blond haired co worker. Jamie was in the distance and seemed jealous. Jamie ran up to me and hit me really hard on the arm. Just because I found it funny doesn't mean I ever condone hitting.

Other various dreams where I am looking for Jamie but can't find her. She is tapering off again.

These few weeks have been pretty boring in the dream department.


Building.

Vague dream of walking in some large building with Jamie. She suddenly vanishes before my eyes as if she woke up from the dream.


The Dork Tower

I become Semi lucid while on a western style landscape. The entire dream is of a blue hue. I'm semi lucid. Don't know it's a dream but I know That I'm in a story. I fly up to a few people walking along a path. With them is a tall Gunslinger. He doesn't quite look like roland but I seem to think he is anyway. I get excited and say, "Are we looking for the Dark tower?" the man doesn't answer but suddenly looks frightened, as if the Idea of the Dark Tower and seeking it, is insane. The others look at me in terror. The dream speeds up and suddenly we are in a living room. but also entering a cave that will transport us to the dark tower. As I enter the cave with the others I am also in the living room with Asuka and others and we are try to fit behind an entertainment center. Maybe this was one of the movies that Me and Asuka jump into?

Talkers

I am in a scenario like in the latest season of ,"Z Nation." I am in a settling with some people. Half of them are Zombies. But these Zombies are self aware and can talk. Everyone calls them: Talkers. I am extremely paranoid of the talkers. They seem nice and well meaning but it feels like they will try to kill me and make me one of them. I am wandering alone in a house when I run into... Robyn? The girl who hosts karaoke in lethbridge. She tells me she saw my movie about her? Her voice sounds like Jamie. Robyn looks nothing like Jamie so I am extremely confused. I go, "yeah I know you're subscribed to my channel." Which I know robyn is. That's all I remember.

A week or so goes by. Can't recall Jamie at all. It concerns me a little. I guess I am too use to them by now.

Chase.

Me, Asuka and Data, chase Jamie all over different dreamscapes. She never looks like herself. She also seems a bit crazy like in the previous entry. In one dream She is a giant black guy and we chase her all over a nightclub. In another she's a mad scientist and we chase her all over some big underground lab. This may explain why she was so hard to recall.


Jesus again

In this dream it is night time. I am alone in a park. I am really young in this dream like a child. Jesus comes over a hill with a little girl holding his hand. the girl is Jamie and she is also a child in this dream. It's like Jesus is her father and He is bringing Her to me. I say to him like an excited kid on Christmas or something, "Is this the girl you chose for me?" Reminds me of when Jamie would hang out and sometimes and at times it's like we would regress to children. Her voice would even sound like a child's and that's when you knew that things were going really well.

Building again.

Another dream of just exploring some building with jamie. We don't really talk but just seem more interested in exploring the place. We eventually split up.