Recent DJ Posts

PART 1 - STUCK LIVING WITH CEE

Cee is living at my current location...

She is outside, at the end of the driveway. I go up and say "hi," in a confident charming way, even though I'm only at my current level of fitness... but then I change my mind, think it was a mistake and that I should wait until I'm more prepared, and run off down street (opposite of work direction.)

At night, I watch from outside as Herm (internet fitness personality) breaks in through a window...

I realize I have no choice and have to go back home, since I live there too and need a place to stay. I return but try to avoid Cee as much as possible, try to keep interactions "short and sweet."

She asks how I got there, I say public transport (lie.) She asks if the driver checked out my teeth for some reason, which throws me off slightly. I laugh and say, "not that I know of."

ANALYSIS

Gah. I finally went a day yesterday managing not to think of them that much, and then I have a big dream about them.

Her living here - possibly a metaphor for how she is so deeply ingrained as to be fundamentally a part of myself.

Watching from outside - kind of like, uh, stalking.

Herm break in - possibly the archetype for "douchebag" in my mind, reflection of jealousy, worry over other guy "breaking in."

Forced return - possibly represents the idea that there's nowhere else I can go, she is home. No matter how nice anywhere else is, it's just not the same, it's not "home."

Keep distance, short and sweet - sort of the pattern that always was... I didn't feel like I was up to my own standards, so I have to carefully edit her impression of me in a positive light.

Lie trip up - possibly a reflection of my guilt at not being completely honest.

PART 1 - MIK HILARITY

At work. My friend Mik goes through a checkout. As they do, they say something absolutely hilarious, in a casual way where they don't laugh at their own joke, offhand as they're passing through. I think it's like the funniest thing ever.

ANALYSIS

Mik has randomly dropped into my work places before, so it would fit with that pattern.

The main element here seems to be how nonchalant they were.

- - -

PART 2 - COLB WC3

Playing an old friend I haven't seen in years at WC3. He is Orc, I think I'm human? It's both of us against the computer.

At one point I use chain lightening and he likes the ability. I say we should start over both as a race with chain lightening so we could both do it (which is odd as IRL orc actually has it and humans don't.) He decides against this.

ANALYSIS

This felt like an expression of their "polarity responder" nature. They're the type of person who, whatever you say, will tend to take the opposite position.

- - -

PART 3 - BINGE LIMITED FUNDS

I'm back and forth between the grocery store and current home, trying to make the money I have last for 3 days of junk food.

I decide against 3 pizzas and go with 2, use the extra money for other things, for "variety."

ANALYSIS

I haven't eaten anything unhealthy in almost 4 months now. I think the idea did surface in my mind yesterday, which may have been the trigger, but was quickly negated as it's an impossibility due my ailment anyway.

I tend to take thoughts of binging as a sign that I'm not managing my emotional state well enough, not keeping occupied enough.

- - -

PART 4 - CEE

Something about talking to Cee...

ANALYSIS

Still an "open loop" in my life, undoubtedly they will continue to surface in dreams periodically until some form of resolution is achieved.

- - -

PART 5 - MISSED SC2 PARTY

I find out that there was a big SC2 party held at the local theatre, but I've missed it. For some reason this is quite devastating.

I think Jo from work may have been there.

ANALYSIS

I plan on gradually phasing out my SC2 playing time (which isn't that much to begin with) in favor of other pursuits (drawing), perhaps this is a metaphor for that, the sense of loss.

- - -

PART 6 - DANCING AND 9/9/09

In a room full of people (one is Melinda, an acquaintance from Jr High), all the chairs and tables have been cleared away to free space for dancing. I "dance" (stepping along in small circles) along with everyone, which I remember finding surprising even in the moment, as I wouldn't normally expect myself to go along with something like that.

Later, the room is filled with tables, each having a computer. I look at mine, and notice a pattern in the time and date - it's 9/9/09, 9:09:09.

I remark about this to the person next to me (Borges?), they simply say "no it's not" because by then the time has passed.

ANALYSIS

The first part could be looked at one of two ways: surprising myself by following along with others, or surprising myself by going outside my comfort zone. It definitely feels like the latter.

The main idea of the last bit seems to be, remarking about something amazing to someone, and them not appreciating it. Borges may represent superficiality, which would also be congruent with the theme.

PART 1 - CONTACTING C

I contact someone important from my past over MSN who I've been out of contact for a while IRL, C. We have a brief conversation as if everything is normal, then they block me. In the dream there was no other possible way to contact them, I felt helpless and depressed.

ANALYSIS

I did try to contact C yesterday (not over MSN... long story), so obviously this was primed in my mind.

I felt oddly kind of down as I was going to sleep, and wondered if I might have an unpleasant dream as a consequence.

-----

PART 2 - TIME TRAVEL

Time travel... at a table with a team discussing a mission... girl on team, neck length brown hair, black suit, says it's better that humanity not know certain things/have access to certain technology they're not mature enough to handle...

ANALYSIS

I don't think this was an entirely separate dream, but was related to the one above... somehow. Can't remember the details or context, why time travel was being used or anything.

Upon waking I actually had too many dreams floating in my head at once, most of it was lost.

Particularly in the 10-15 minutes before the alarm went off, I was already half-awake, and basically simply laying there waiting for it to go off. This is probably because I've been waking up at the same time for several months now, and my body has come to expect it.

I'm definitely going to need to keep a notepad by my bed from now on, and record notes about dreams as they come, in the half-awake state at any and all points through the night.

Good sign!