Thread: DCs Say the Darndest Things

Pulled a huge book from the shelf. Written by the Nazis: "Dogs of War: Dachshunds"
It's full of yellow pages advertisements.

I'm hearing a sticky Latin song which chorus stands for: "Live forward and throw it backward"

Justin Timberlake: You're eating that diet tortilla wrong.

My uncle explained to me that we don't see that many motorbikes in the Netherlands because of Colonol (don't remember the name) of the Britisch Empire forced the Dutch to drive left somewhere in the 19th century.

I see the Joker (batman villain)

Me: hey can you tell me a joke? Your jokes are great!
DC Joker: yeah, they are very universal.

He did tell me a joke but I wasn't able to hear it properly =(

another time I listen to a TV commercial:

DC TV: Do you like watching TV? YES! (very enthusiastically, like in spongebob squarepants "are you ready kids...")
DC TV: Do you watch TV? YES!
DC TV: Will you ever stop watching TV? Yes!

My wife passed away and the guy from the funeral home asked me for which part of her would I like to eat for breakfast because of they've cut her in two pieces. I was like "What? That's disgusting! I just want to bury her you idiot!"

Me: Hi Linus!
Linus: Hi!
Me: Hey, tell me a joke!
Linus: How many are there?
Me: Almost an unlimited number.
Linus: Ahhhh!!! (tries to run away)

I see a man dressed as a mechanic and i ask him:
-"What's the meaning of life?"
He says:
-"To do good things and be remembered for that."
I say:
-"Wow. What a cool answer. Yeah. i guess you're right. Thank you."

During a picnic with lots of drinking going on on a sunny grassy hill, someone complains about all the crusty butt-wipe markings on the picnic blankets.

This morning, I dreamed I had found an old letter that I believed I must have written to Santa when I was a child. I semi-lucidly tried my hardest to read through it and take it all in, but I can only remember partial fragments now.
It began "Dear Simon#13". The only other part I remember said something along the lines of: "Please bring my brother the finest German nipples money can buy."

"Friends do not deliver friends into custody at Cocoa-Puffs" [corporation]

Man its crazy to go back to the start of this... 2006, and Ophelia is on the firstt page! A living legend I tell ya...

Anyway, I got a kick out of this from my lucid last night (also completed the April task but a little late :/):

Me: Happy Easter, Dream Character!

DC: My name... is DERYLL.

Me: Well thats not very Easter-ly of you, Deryll!

DC: Whatever... Edmund says God is evil and Salem is good.

Me: Salem? You mean Satan? And I think Edmund is mistaken...

DC:Edmund isnt Mistaken, he has diabetes

The way he proclaimed it like having diabetes gave him credentials made me pee myself practically.

I barely talk to people in my dreams
my all time favorite thing was in a non-lucid dream when I was a kid
a DC has said "Am I even real?"
and I just thought "Of course you're real"
then I woke up and felt like an idiot

Arriving in a bus with people at some sort of Hell mall with scary beings all around.

Me: "Oh man I *hate* this place" (like I've been here before).

I remember once a random DC tried to convince me that he's my real father

Me - "What is my purpose in life, here on Earth?"
DC - "Is to eat bananas. They're very good and healthy."

(Hummm.... ok.... Well, i guess i'm on the right path because i've been eating at least 1 banana a day.)

DC: "Hey, we should have a black person in our group."
Me: "What about my brother?"
DC: "What? No way! I don't want to marry him."

It was some sort of TV spot, which showed a close-up of a penguin (Like Pablo from the Backyardigans) wearing a hat, and it was snowing in a black background. Then the picture moves away to show it's the back window of a train moving in a tropical landscape, then a voice: "Wherever you travel, you will always feel at home with us".

Me-"How does our eyes work? What is happening when we are seeing some object?"
Dream-"You are not seeing it. It looks like you're seeing it but it's not it."
Me-"It's all a lie? An illusion?"
Dream-"Yes."

(Man, what a weird conversation)

Technically, that could be true. As a psychologist, you could say that what we are seeing is a result of our brains processing the visual sensory information making its way in. Therefore, what we see does not exist outside of our minds. Insight of the day.

I was taking a shower when a group of people rushes in and sees me naked. I quickly cover up, but they insist on seeing my boobs.

Disturbed, I say, "You already saw my boobs..."
The group laughs, but I see a man quietly mouth to me, "I didn't get to see your boobs..."
To which I mouthed back, "I thought you already saw them..."

I actually felt bad for him.

The best paper of all is the paperboy!

In a lucid dream, I'd decided to go and find this guy I know. I walked into a random house and started looking for him behind doors and in closets. So I open this one closet expecting to see him and instead I see this annoying other guy I know chilling in there. I tell him to leave and he says no, so I close the closet and say "ok, let's try this again". So I open the closet again and don't see anything I look closer and that annoying guy pops up again and laughs at me and says something like "this closet is my home! I'm not leaving!"

I say this twice to the guy behind me, as I'm observing an open refrigerator door:

"OK, remind me, I'm putting the silver spoon on top of the grapefruit"