Thread: DCs Say the Darndest Things

Me talking to DC: when in a grocery store it doesn't matter how nice you are. All employees see you as an annoyance unless you are good looking.

The next day I went into a grocery store and was a huge pain to all the people working there. They didn't seem to mind though. Haha. Might have just been good.employees though.

I was playing a video game with a DC, then I tried to convince him we needed to pause because I was out of ammo. When he objected, I said, "What do you expect me to do, slap you to death?!"

When asking a tiny man (about 1 inch tall) to say something i need to know or do:
-"You'll be allright. But you have to buy a new house and live with Silvia (my work colleague). Do it before the World Cup."

When I asked the awareness behind the dream or as I was calling it the 'dream maker' what he wanted me to call him. i looked at a tv screen and an image of a Sergeant was shown wearing green army clothes and telling me to call him Sergeant. The screen then changed into a "congratulations! You have been promoted!", followed by "You learned characterising!" then a new image appeared of a Sergeant now dressed in red army clothes and behind him there were flames and it now told me to call him "Charmandiser" (as if that was a Sergeant combined with either Charmander or Charmaleon). I then Shouted out Charmandiser!

I then started to apologize for asking so many things and the screen now changed to a text being written. I didn't pay full attention to what it said but it was something like "how many assholes does it take.... and if they like boobs x3...." and had a number of how many people and the units seemed to be in millions.

Woke up laughing my ass off at Charmandiser ^^

My cousin G is sitting at a restaurant, she looks tired, she is upset because she left her daughter's party and ruined the party, saying "because it's just not a party without me."

At the end of the dream I hear a prophecy: "In the last days of mankind, it will do a jigsaw puzzle made of gemstones and will write on volcanic rocks."

I met this gorgeous, but severely handicapped, woman, who for some reason was gagged with gaffer tape. I carefully removed the tape, and started a conversation with her. Her physical handicap became my immediate focus of attention (she was about the size of a Barbie doll), and I asked her how come she was so little.

With clear signs of exasperation, she then said: "Do you know how much time it takes to grow a full-size body? Four months!!"

Yeah ... I guess I could have been more considerate about that issue.

I was working in a video game store with a coworker when a mom and her pre-teen son walk in.

I hear her whisper, "Which of the two would you have sex with?" Referring to me or my coworker.
"Let me see," he says all cocky.

I turn around, and the boy laughs at me, "Not that one! Definitely not that one!"

I grabbed him around his throat and proceeded to defend my honor by slicing at his jugular with my car keys.

This kitten called her dad her "blather"

One time in the end of one of my lucid dreams, I asked an older version of me what part of my subconscious he was representing.

He replied: "I'm your homosexual part". I was literally baffled, and went out of the lucid dream.

Campaign sign seen a few nights ago at the top of a ski hill: "Americans: we're not as dumb as you think we are!"

Had a dream last night and at one point me and a friend were having his house searched by the police. We came across a not-fully eaten pizza in his room. He looks at me and says "We gotta destroy the evidence."

-I read/hear an ad in the newspaper with the picture of a smiling chimpanzee: "Monkey for sale. It has a macho in one hand".

-I'm walking on a road, getting in a town where its welcome sign literally states: "Welcome to the state of California. Our little DOF things" (DOF is written in overlapped capitals).

I'm on a bus and read a sign saying that everyone should remove their trouser before leaving the bus, you can then choose to hand it in or not. On my way out, I'm the only one that actually does it and I choose to hand over my shorts for some reason. As I hand it in to someone, I ask if they know of any places where I can buy similar shorts. The guy literally laughed at my face, then realized I was serious and begun giving instructions.

Did a front flip whilst lucid and asked a DC that saw it to describe what they saw. DC - "It looked like you jumped, then slipped whilst in the air"

At a table commiserating with a friend over the unfortunate recent events:

Me: "I got paired with a guy instead of a girl."
DC: "I know."
Me: "He wanted me to take him to the DMV!"
DC: "I know!"
Me: "AND I HAD TO WAIT FOR HIM TO FINISH HIS DRIVER'S TEST!!!"
DC: "I KNOW!!!"

A group of people are gathered together sitting closely. One guy is sitting on a horse who is sitting on the ground. The horse has no skin and I see the fibrous muscles, dark and tough, though, like horse jerky, not bloody.

I say: "Them's are good eats!"

A king is telling a woman with magical powers where to go on a scouting mission to survey the surrounding areas:

"Make sure you go South to Dakota. Not South-Dakota, but New Dakota, which is North of Dakota." as he puts his finger on the map; and a green outline of light appears around "New Dakota" with "Dakota" just below it, outlined in blue.

In a non-LD I had once randomly switched perspectives with a DC and could witness my on DC body talking nonsense to me.

DC me: “did you know that all right-handers are left-fuckers?”

Actual me: ”Huh? Is that true?”

DC me: “I dunno. But I´m gonna check it out next time.”

On this dream, i asked a gipsy old woman to read the palms of my hands.
She picked up my left hand and said:
-"This year, you'll get good things regarding Love."
Then she picked up my right hand and said:
-"This year, you'll get good things regarding The System."

Originally Posted by DreamHighlander

On this dream, i asked a gipsy old woman to read the palms of my hands.
She picked up my left hand and said:
-"This year, you'll get good things regarding Love."
Then she picked up my right hand and said:
-"This year, you'll get good things regarding The System."

I'm not a part of your system!
I swear DCs do these things because they think that they are funny.

I am on an adventure with a DC. While running down a hallway, I ask him what is his name.

DC: "Because."
Me: "Your name is Because? Is that your first or last name?"
DC: "It's my third last name."
Me: "Wow."
DC: "I'm just kidding."

Fantastic thread! - keeping me very amused

I can recall two daft DC moments from non lucid dreams;

In real life I run a kilt hire shop - in my dream I was finishing a hire and the woman said -

'So that's £28.00 then?'

Me 'What? - No chance'

DC ' You said over the phone it would be £28.00'

Me 'No, I woudnt have said that'

DC 'Yes you did, you said £28.00 and 75pence for the plastic surgery'

Wish I was lucid at the time coz she was really annoying and I would have loved to take the mickey out of her!

There was the one time my cat spoke as well. Me and my parents were standing around him , they were coaxing him and we were all getting excited because it was obvious he was going to say his first words.. which were-

'Uncle....Out!'

Never spoke again!

So I had my first lucid dream two nights ago. When I realized I was lucid, I walked up to one of the DC's already present in the dream, my co-worker Jason, and said "Holy s***, I'm dreaming! I can control it too!" His response was, "No s***? That's awesome!"

Obviously I was excited about my first LD haha

He then asked me if I had the chance to look in a mirror yet.

Found two more from last year;

Walking in a Moor with my auld man, he says to me 'Son, Nature always grows in a straight line and never down a face'.

Also,

Having a nice wee paddle in the sea with Hitler, he turns to me and says 'I don't really do this anymore...'