Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

This week will mark the start of my exams. Eeeek! It's sooo scary! I feel like I'm unprepared when I apparently know everything I have to know.

My right Jaw is SWOLLEEEEEN! it doesn't hurt but i have been adding ice to it and it feels soooo great!! AHH!
I look at the mirror and see my right cheek/jaw is puffy than the right...this will go away, now i'm trying Aspirin! I need to eat more again! I haven't ate normally since 2 days ago i might lose more weight!
I feel like sleeping all fuckin day! But i won't complain my dreams will post it now in my dj. Btw i don't want to get used to medicine induced dreams but i have been having positive ones recently.

Originally Posted by SnowyCat

It's interesting that happened to you, because I seem to remember my brother having a very similar experience. Last year him and some friends were smoking out in a park somewhere, and after a cop noticed them he just took their weed and let them off with a warning. No ticket, no nothing.

Maybe the police force is starting to take notice of how smoking marijuana isn't really looked down upon as a crime as much these days. Or maybe there are just more smokers in the police force. Weird, eh?

That's awesome! Either one of those works for me lol. I know a police offer who smokes. Well, she's more of a family friend, but I've met her before. I really hope that it's trending more that way, that would be great!

Originally Posted by SnowyCat

And about the manga; if you can find it, you should definitely read Mushi-shi. It's a masterpiece! You might have to dig around a little at some used book stores or something, though.

I looked for it today after I read your post on my phone and didn't find it! I haven't checked my main store yet though. My last post wasn't quite the whole truth, hehe. I was actually at A-Kon today. I checked a bunch of different stands for Mushi-shi, but I couldn't find it. It was already the last day though, so even if it was there it might have been gone by then. I'll look for it at my main place soon though!

Don't know why I can never be satisfied with what I have. I'm not talking about material possessions, for which I couldn't care less. I'm as happy with one shirt as I am with 100. I'm talking about people, life circumstance. I mean, I'm happy with Myself and where I live. I think the world I live in is a beautiful one with beautiful people all around me. BUT, in the back of my mind, behind all the contentment and inner peace I carefully craft for myself upon waking up, I always want someone or some place just out of reach. To date someone else or to live somewhere else. To resurrect the dead. I'm pretty sure it is boredom. I get want I want, and I'm very happy to have it, but then I get bored and want something else. This isn't bad in and of itself, but it does make circumstances more difficult. I guess it is kind of like cake. You want a chocolate cake, so you go and get the chocolate cake. It's good. It's rich and moist and everything you wanted it to be. Hell, as far as chocolate cake goes, you've never had better. And while you ARE loving on this cake and having food orgasms, you have the chocolate cake. It's there. It's yours. The ice cream cake, however, is just as good in its own way, and it is not yet in your possession. It doesn't mean the chocolate cake is any less chocolate-y, or that you enjoy it less, it IS just as good, but it isn't ice cream cake. And while you're happy to eat it, part of you wants to get rid of it for other cakes. This is my entire life: People, places, friends. They are all fucking great, but I've tasted them (so to speak) and now I want the other kind of cake. Then, to make matters worse, I know as soon as I ditch them for different life circumstance, I'll want the old ones back, because I'm an asshole who gets stuck in the past every other week. It's frustrating as all hell. I have a vision as to what my life should be like, but is it really worth going for? God knows I can find something different and easier that is just as good. Especially if I'm not going to be satisfied with ANY life plan.

Fuck this shit! I'm going to a walk-in and get anti-biotic! This thing isn't settling down, might be infection! Tylenol not working like yesterday, now sleeping is a bitch!
8e5.jpg

Originally Posted by hathor28

Fuck this shit! I'm going to a walk-in and get anti-biotic! This thing isn't settling down, might be infection! Tylenol not working like yesterday, now sleeping is a bitch!
8e5.jpg

Yeah, I was gonna say from the posts on the last page it sounds like an infection in your jaw or something, not pain from weather changes, definitely go to a dentist.
That shit can kill you if you let it go too far. They'll prob have to drain fluid which will smell like death.

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

*scrolls back through pages*

Huh, so you were. Great minds think alike, I guess.

Lol yeah, it was weird, thought you may have read it, but then you said you hadn't read anything for the week or whatever.
Shit like that makes me seriously wonder if this is some sort of simulation or minds connect somehow.
I mean I've never ever heard anyone mention low latent inhibition besides in Prison Break when I first heard about it.

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

Latent inhibition is one of the subjects I really like more than others because it's something you can fairly easily measure yourself if you know what to look for. The first time I ever read what it was, I took a bong hit of a synthetic cannabinoid immediately afterward. It was a bigger one than I anticipated, and less than a minute later my perception of the space around me was already becoming much wider and deeper, and colors were getting almost sickeningly vibrant and I was starting to get overloaded by everything because I was taking in so much detail at once. I just thought, oh look... there it is lol.

I've noticed that effect, but never thought about it being lowered latent inhibition. Also had that extreme effect when smoking way too much of a strong bud once, colours almost hurt my eyes.

Definitely makes sense. If only there were some way to do this long term, even a day would be good.
I'd like to see how much my brain can handle. Unfortunately I think it is not much more than I already take in
as I have become overwhelmed a few times while smoking and I just want to retreat and not take in anything.
But that may be more to do with anxiety and not being open enough, I think.

Originally Posted by hathor28

Fuck this shit! I'm going to a walk-in and get anti-biotic! This thing isn't settling down, might be infection! Tylenol not working like yesterday, now sleeping is a bitch!
8e5.jpg

Yeah, I was gonna say from the posts on the last page it sounds like an infection in your jaw or something, not pain from weather changes, definitely go to a dentist.
That shit can kill you if you let it go too far. They'll prob have to drain fluid which will smell like death.

OH HELL YES!!!!

Just decided to check my e-mail coz for some reason I didn't today, I got an offer for a job!!!!
Damn, so happy right now.

F double posts, this is worth it

Originally Posted by tommo

Yeah, I was gonna say from the posts on the last page it sounds like an infection in your jaw or something, not pain from weather changes, definitely go to a dentist.
That shit can kill you if you let it go too far. They'll prob have to drain fluid which will smell like death.

Well what do you know? my swollen gum from behind my upper molar just exploded/drained itself!! First it was blood....then eeeeew that taste of blood and cyst! It was a Cyst in my gum! Thank God now i can sleep better, after all that water and salt gargle/tylenol now its finally paid off and only 3 days! Now i got to scope my mouth out!
Now for my swollen cheek to die down! It's not hurting anymore my gums! Thank you crystal gemstone bracelet! lol i know but i'm actually believing it now ;P

Yeah, keep gargling salt water for a few days morning and night, coz it will get infected again if you don't.

That happened to me once as well, no idea why, must have cut the gum while brushing or something. I just had this pocket of puss and I was feeling the bump, not knowing what it was and suddenly.....
Horrible taste....

Just lucky it's not a jaw thing, coz that would be way worse.

Pro tip: It's not the crystal, it was the salt water for sure.

I'm not really sure what I'm doing anymore. I feel only slightly better after leaving. I still feel controlled and dependent on every one else. I don't want to be, but there is no other way right now. I still feel incredibly alone, too. I am surrounded by my family constantly, but I am the black sheep still--that will never change. I am the "liberal" of a family of conservative Christians. I don't call myself liberal, but they do... so... I just don't know if I can deal with how they think of me sometimes... They don't hide it very well, either. They "accept" who I am on the outside, but I know they're fighting it on the inside. They can't stand my beliefs and my values, even though they in no way affect them or change anything about how I am living here. I don't know.

I just don't want to feel alone anymore... And I wish someone could give me answers.. I need answers.

Originally Posted by Suena

I'm not really sure what I'm doing anymore. I feel only slightly better after leaving. I still feel controlled and dependent on every one else. I don't want to be, but there is no other way right now. I still feel incredibly alone, too. I am surrounded by my family constantly, but I am the black sheep still--that will never change. I am the "liberal" of a family of conservative Christians. I don't call myself liberal, but they do... so... I just don't know if I can deal with how they think of me sometimes... They don't hide it very well, either. They "accept" who I am on the outside, but I know they're fighting it on the inside. They can't stand my beliefs and my values, even though they in no way affect them or change anything about how I am living here. I don't know.

I just don't want to feel alone anymore... And I wish someone could give me answers.. I need answers.

The best answers come from searching within yourself. Sure it sounds hokey and cliché but it's true just the same.

Believe in who you are, know that your feelings and beliefs are right for you, understand that you are worthy of all good things, and everything else that follows will be true.

Give yourself permission to feel good about you.

Advice, religion and politics don't go good together!

That sounded like advice related to religion and politics to me.

Good job Captain Obvious.

One day, OP's sarcasm will get so intense DV will fail to support its mass and collapse into a black hole

I just find the statement that advice, religion and politics don't belong together to be seriously hypocritical

Fat people who need a wheelchair in order to move about the place, Im like...ffs lose weight, what is wrong with these people. I just want to hit them really hard.
I would rather stay disabled than be so fat that I cant walk.

Originally Posted by jackc45

Fat people who need a wheelchair in order to move about the place, Im like...ffs lose weight, what is wrong with these people. I just want to hit them really hard.
I would rather stay disabled than be so fat that I cant walk.

What's wrong with them is that they are mentally ill. They started over eating and over time it grew into something they can't control. You can wish that they would have the initiative to lose weight themselves, but after years of torment and self shame it becomes quite hard to change yourself. People who are so morbidly obese that they require a wheelchair to move around obviously are not doing so just because they are lazy, it might have been the starting cause but their current food intake is caused by something much more complex.

I feel sympathy for them, not because they are being physically or mentally hurt but because an addiction got the best of them.

Originally Posted by dutchraptor

What's wrong with them is that they are mentally ill. They started over eating and over time it grew into something they can't control. You can wish that they would have the initiative to lose weight themselves, but after years of torment and self shame it becomes quite hard to change yourself. People who are so morbidly obese that they require a wheelchair to move around obviously are not doing so just because they are lazy, it might have been the starting cause but their current food intake is caused by something much more complex.

I feel sympathy for them, not because they are being physically or mentally hurt but because an addiction got the best of them.

I havent looked at it that way before...you raise a very good point there, I suppose I am ignorant to some situations. Thanks for opening my closed eyes, I'm going to go and think now . Your right, change is very hard.
But people being lazy really bug me, specially people who can walk but dont, they take it for granted.

Crap, I *triple* posted? How did that happen, sorry Auron

Turns out I'm not so happy anyway, I was excited last night but now it's worn off already, so it didn't deserve its own post anyway....

Originally Posted by Suena

I'm not really sure what I'm doing anymore. I feel only slightly better after leaving. I still feel controlled and dependent on every one else. I don't want to be, but there is no other way right now. I still feel incredibly alone, too. I am surrounded by my family constantly, but I am the black sheep still--that will never change. I am the "liberal" of a family of conservative Christians. I don't call myself liberal, but they do... so... I just don't know if I can deal with how they think of me sometimes... They don't hide it very well, either. They "accept" who I am on the outside, but I know they're fighting it on the inside. They can't stand my beliefs and my values, even though they in no way affect them or change anything about how I am living here. I don't know.

I just don't want to feel alone anymore... And I wish someone could give me answers.. I need answers.

I've been feeling like that too, the last bit. I've just been realising constantly that I do not understand my emotions.
I can never figure out what the real reason is for the way I feel about someone, or some situation. And sometimes I think I get it, but then,
like recently, I eventually realise it is just complete bullshit I rationalised up. I would very much love some answers.

Ok that's probably different to what you are talking about, but I was coming on to write basically this and thought there were similarities.

I disagree with melanie for the above reason ^. Our own answers are sometimes completely wrong and irrational.
It's the same reason people take psychedelics to find answers, because what our conscious brain decides is the right answer,
is very often muddied and distorted by a thousand different things, right down to the food you eat and how much sleep you get, and sometimes just plain wrong.

You don't have any friends, right? That's probably what you need. Your bf filled that part of your life, so you need other people to fill it now. (Hint: Not another bf)

However, I may be wrong about all this

Originally Posted by dutchraptor

What's wrong with them is that they are mentally ill. They started over eating and over time it grew into something they can't control. You can wish that they would have the initiative to lose weight themselves, but after years of torment and self shame it becomes quite hard to change yourself. People who are so morbidly obese that they require a wheelchair to move around obviously are not doing so just because they are lazy, it might have been the starting cause but their current food intake is caused by something much more complex.

I feel sympathy for them, not because they are being physically or mentally hurt but because an addiction got the best of them.

++++

I used to feel pure hatred for fat people for some reason. I try not to do that these days.
It is far better to accept people whatever they look like or however they act.
Okay obviously there are exceptions, but generally people are worthy of acceptance.

The way I see it, we are just collections of genes and chemicals and electrical connections etc. that we have little control over.
And the thing we call "we" only has as much control over itself as those genes and chemical allow it to have.
So hate is really irrelevant and pointless. You're spending so much energy hating a particular configuration of genes.

Originally Posted by jackc45

Fat people who need a wheelchair in order to move about the place, Im like...ffs lose weight, what is wrong with these people. I just want to hit them really hard.
I would rather stay disabled than be so fat that I cant walk.

OMG this made me laugh! Not agreeing with it but it made me laugh !

And Btw OP....what i said was a known fact...you can't deny it >_>

I was just playing on the possible grammatical misinterpretation of the statement

(but if you want to debate about it, religion is politics)

Originally Posted by Original Poster

I was just playing on the possible grammatical misinterpretation of the statement

(but if you want to debate about it, religion is politics)

Oh no i'm not debating about it, i'm saying what ever and how ever you say it will just lead back to my post (Those 2 don't mix well) which we all know this.
If you don't understand where i'm coming from then i won't explain any further.

He was just making a joke. You said "don't give advice about shit" he said "that sounds like advice about shit".
Telling people to not give advice, is advice.

________


Rant: I have resigned myself to a life of loneliness and depression. There's simply nothing I can do about it.
This sucks.

Originally Posted by tommo

He was just making a joke. You said "don't give advice about shit" he said "that sounds like advice about shit".
Telling people to not give advice, is advice.

________


Rant: I have resigned myself to a life of loneliness and depression. There's simply nothing I can do about it.
This sucks.

I'm lost now O_o