non-lucid

At the store and someone complains. It makes the cashier lady cry. The cashier is really passive but she has to write down the interaction and it shows on a screen I can see. She writes that she basically told the customer that she was the boss and he had to listen. I was going to take a picture and show D because I thought it was funny but I remembered I only had an old fashioned flip phone. Everyone started calling their S.O’s so I called mine even though we were in the same store. We had to be secretive about it. I felt very in love with him. I saw a certain man twice in two roles, I figured he was a filler like in movies.
Hailey called and there was a lot of silence on the phone. She was upset. She told me she talked to a psychic who told her that the toilet is a symbol for how she looks down on other women and it’s true. I told her some people do that to make themselves feel better. I’m walking through a building. I say goodbye in my head and hang up. I forget to say it out loud so she texts me “ok?” I go to text her back but never finish.
D and I stay at a hotel. Our room has only double beds. Every room has stickers of football mascots. I see the back of a dolphin one on someone’s door. We have a partial ocean view, but the weather is wild and we basically have a raging waterfall and river right outside our door. I go to the shower and my mom is there, she starts talking about Alesia while I’m trying to use a homemade product.

Al.W. drew a funny picture.

A male and female are captured and trying to escape. They take a chance because they’ve had enough. They slide down a hill and the guy complains because he gets rug burn from his shirt. The girl thinks he’s whiny. At the bottom the girl sees a detached train car that says “resources” when she goes in it blows up because it was a trap. That was sneaky of the enemy. A little dog runs toward the guy, it’s badly burnt but it survives.

I dreamed of being lucid and playing Mario with team members on DV. Someone posted in response to a criticism : “excuse us while we try to figure out our ass from our head.”

I tried to pee like a man but couldn’t, and it ended up getting everywhere.

In the woods and it’s very crowded. There are tents everywhere and lot of people. I see a big grizzly bear walking around and I’m really stressed out about it. I want to warn people but I’m not sure of the bear’s intentions and I don’t want to aggravate it. Why isn’t it hibernating anyway? I also see a moose and the moose comes toward me, it gets very close and it kinda makes me nervous because i’m not sure if it’s aggravated or not.

Danielle was complaining about a headache

FA/hypnagogic imagery. I was frustrated that I was tired but couldn't fall asleep and then woke up and realized I had been asleep

I’m leaving a store and on my way out I see one of those stuffed animal game grabby machines and it’s really large. All that’s in it are two black body suits with cutouts for the eyes and mouth. On one suit the holes are outlined in lime green, and the other is outlined in orange. There’s a man leaving the store behind me and I turn back as I’m walking and tell him, “those are really creepy.” And laugh. He kinda chuckles and I wonder what he thinks of me. That was bold on my part and not usually something I would do. I get outside and have to wait for a car to pass before I can walk to my car at the very end of the parking lot. There’s a woman sitting on the car that passed and someone runs up to her as the car is driving. Once at my car there is a starbucks across the way but they have updated their logo and it’s now a triangle. People have to mix up their own drinks now by shaking them. I drive away and swerve in and out of obstacles in the parking lot. I start speeding down a curved road where there is traffic and there are cars passing each other by swerving into my lane. I hope nobody hits me. My husband is stressed out by my driving. Out of nowhere tons of police cars fly past me and stop right in front of me. I stop and see them approach another car with guns out. They open the trunk and there are two girls in the trunk in body bags, but they’re alive and they were just having fun.

My husband and I are in the kitchen channeling Native American spirits that live in our house. My husband becomes a spirit animal of a bear and I become an eagle. We’re still in human form, but acting and feeling like those animals. A shaman appears and thanks us, telling us that the spirits won’t have to come back for at least 3 more years. So I give them 3 spoons. Afterwards on my bed I tell my husband that I had fun because I haven’t played fun, intuitive role games like that since I was a kid.

I’m at D&B’s and we’re getting dinner ready. All I have is leftover potatoes cut into squares and covered with sauce and mango or egg chunks. There’s not much so I try to divide it as evenly as possible. A.W. asks me to scoop up some grease and hand it to her with a slotted spatula. I try but all the grease falls out. She gets annoyed and says something snarky about my ability to do a simple task. I get really angry and vent to my husband about her ridiculous request and expectations.

In a class feeling closed off like in highschool. My friend Molly (brunette and to my right) tells me I’m dreaming and I need to trust her. I don’t believe her. I can’t be dreaming. She keeps insisting. I tell her I can’t be dreaming because I’m…here…doing something…I can’t really remember. But I’m not dreaming. Then I wake up and realize I was dreaming. -_-

My friend has a pet tiger/lion. It sleeps in her bed and everything. She saved it from being injured in the wild. I want to get a picture of myself with it because we’re living together. I’m kinda scared of it. I have a little dog that is jealous.

D and I are moving to another town 20 minutes away. I have to tell my family I’m not coming back. It feel like a big deal. I’m trying to get rid of some of my food. I have a costco bag of romaine that nobody wants. I open up a jar of herbs and flies and gnats come out at me. Gross. I set the jar aside to return to the store for my money back.

Ohio family playing bocce ball on apartment roofs. Jeremy’s new gf is prettier than his last ones but she still looks like a druggie. She is protective of her neighbor’s clunker car that they’re borrowing.

Mom is looking for a new house bc she’s pregnant. We look at one and it’s a standard 4 bedroom. We look at another and it’s an 8 bedroom. I want it. It’s a little outdated but it’s big, probably expensive. There’s a sink and countertop in the living room. And a cool room for my stepdad to sleep in when mom is up with the baby. In that area there are three rooms within one room. I plan to use the other rooms as my office and gym, but I'm not sure how my sister and I will share.

Graduated but still in nursing school. I have to take care of a guy on enhanced isolation. He’s a little annoyed but I plead with him and tell him I’m learning so much. A lot of people crowd into my room, even Mo. I tell him I tested his lat strength earlier by myself on a lat machine. Mo tells me they have to do that at home. I knew but forgot. People start talking story with each other and I can’t remember what I was supposed to do with him. I'm looking through a notebook full of dates and then remember I had a list in my pocket. I pull it out and it's incomplete anyways. Someone shouts “quiet!” and we get scolded for not doing our job and wasting our patient’s time. A baby says something moving about just wanting to love her mom so much it will make her cry (I think her mom is Jen P.) and it makes everyone “aw” and some people cry. Everyone leaves.

Going skiing with D but I’m nervous and we can’t agree on which skis to use. He thinks if we use cross country skis it will be too easy, but I’ve never used them so I don’t know.

Spoiler for NSFW:

In the midst of that stressful decision we have to decide what to do about a young man who presented to the hospital with testicular cancer evidenced by a scab. I can’t tell if he’s developmentally challenged or not. We get a sheet that lists our different options and the risks involved. Among our options are telling him he has cancer, skinning his balls, cutting them off, and a few others. I feel really torn, indecisive, and upset about this situation and decision. Initially I really think that skinning them is the best idea because there are more tallies marked next to that option, but later I realize that the tallies mean potential adverse effects. So more tallies means a higher risk involved. I try and get D’s opinion but he tells me I have to decide. Eventually I realize the obvious choice is to tell him he has cancer and let him decide on treatment options. Hindsight is 20/20. I don’t want to be the one to tell him, though.

Doing a ritual with some kind of Native American priest. I’m the priest. I’m on a mattress in a cave on the water, covered with special blankets. I have to dive down and allow myself to have whatever spiritual experience that comes to me. I worry about my ear, but trust the process. I go into the water with my mattress and have a heard time swimming down but eventually make some headway and feel the mattress float back up. In my minds eye I start to see an image of two swinging industrial doors with a light shining behind its windows. I allow myself to enter into that image like a dream. The location I find myself in is an old, creepy, abandoned hospital. I see a menacing looking man running around, chasing a girl. It’s a scary image but I’m not scared because I’m a Native American shaman and I’m only on the astral plane. I chase them in a similarly menacing and scary way. They lead me into a dark part of the hospital with no lights and I am still not scared. An idea dawns on me, and I after some struggle I am able to grab the man. I pick him up, hold him, and bring him towards the girl until their faces are very close. I tell them, “love each other”. They kiss and are reminded that they were romantically involved and have unfinished business together, which is why they got trapped in some sort of limbo. That action immediately transcends us to a different plane where it is night and a healing orgy is occurring. It is outside and there are people in hot tubs. A fight breaks out and a man is chased into a steel, green building and into a jail cell filled with water. He realized his captors are of a fish-type species. They are hoping to either kill him in this jail cell or imprison him like a fish in a fish tank. They laugh about it until they realize he has someway broken free. They chase him through the hallways all the way to an opening, where he jumps and they follow. The building was in space and now all of us are falling toward the earth. In the fall I wonder if the fish people are the inspiration behind the Ninja Turtles. The rate at which I’m falling is putting a lot of pressure on my abdomen and making it hard to breathe, I try to straighten out. I realize that I’m falling into London. I don’t know where the others are falling. Once the man and I land we go to rent a car which comes with a rented kitten. We choose the cat that’s already outside and is meowing at us. We could go into a room to search for a cat but it seems too sad. We get in our little white car and drive out of the parking lot, but on our way we see an Asian man talking into a walkie talkie, looking for foreigners. He sees us and immediately knows we’re the ones. I tell my partner about it and he seems unconcerned. I remind him that the Ninja Turtles are asian. They follow us and try to block us from leaving the parking lot. But the police get involved and we get cleared to leave while the Asians do not. Yet they follow us illegally anyways to a hotel. We get into a big elevator and I refuse to push the button of the floor we’re going to. They start posturing and getting really close to my partner. I step in between them and my partner pushes me out of the way, he seems to think it’s degrading that I would assume I could/need to protect him. The Asians start talking about a train ride they can take to get from China to California in 4 hours. I’m impressed. But how can they take a train between continents? My partner tell me they completed an intercontinental roadway between Europe and New York. How did I not know about that?

I’m in New Zealand mountain biking by myself. I’m catching tons of air and biking on very narrow and uneven passages but I’m not scared at all. Something happens that keeps me for a long time and when I go to return the bikes it’s night time and the gates are closed. I don't know what I’m going to do. Then I realized that the blue gate is motion sensored, so i get in. The workers take my bike and I get ushered to the front of the line.

I’m playing a game with a group of people. We are listening to a recording and watching a screen of random images and we have to come up with a good catchphrase in under 1.5 minutes. My recorder isn’t working at first. I see an aerial view of the flight paths to and from New Zealand and think of saying something about a plane but I don’t know enough about them. There is an underwater mountain range to the north east of NZ and an island called New Delhi.. Then I see an image of a woman in the ocean and one her breasts is sticking out of the water. I decide on “Tits: Because everything in the ocean is naked anyway” and I think it is so hilarious. All of a sudden I’m in the ocean swimming with B&A. There’s a koi fish following me and I try to bop it away because it grosses me out. A looks scared and tells me to swim fast. I assume it’s a shark and know that I’m not fast enough to out-swim a shark. I swim toward the boat and am amazed how fast I am. Turns out it was a massive group of koi fish chasing us. I wake up within another dream and tell my husband about my hilarious catchphrase.

I see a series of small children doing a funny hobbit dance in hobbit style clothes. It is so cute. I find out that they belong to attractive, young, trendy lesbians. All of them adopted except for one girl who claims to be the only one with both of her mothers’ genes. I’m not sure how that’s possible. Perhaps a three way mixture of both eggs and the donor sperm. I’m in the dining room and one of the lesbians who looks a bit asian american is painting henna free-hand on the wall. She tells me I need to unleash the intense creative power within me.
I’m renting out a duplex with my older sister. There’s a couple that live next door, but our places are also connected from the inside. Sometimes we use their bathroom. Once the man knocked on our door, asking to hang out. My sister is uncomfortable but I feel like we owe him so I allow him in. I go to sleep at some point and wake up in the middle of the night with him next to me. He’s pinning me down. He tries to tickle me a little bit. I scream at him but can't make any sound. I weakly realize it's because I'm dreaming. I try to get away. I finally break free and he follows me. I get my sister and tell that we need to leave now. She’s paralyzed with fear so I carry her out to the side of the road that looks like my parent’s street. There are a lot of white cars and I don’t know which one is ours. I unlock one and he gets in the driver seat and drives away, thinking I’m in there with him. I unlock my mom’s van and we frantically get inside and peel out. We’re taking an alternate route to my mom’s work. When I get to her work I write what happened with a quill and ink on a belt and in a black and white fashion magazine. Then I go to work, which happens to be a high end fashion show. He’s there and part of the show. Everyone loves him and thinks he’s so sweet and innocent. It makes me sick. My husband is there. After the show he goes to work an Asian breakfast restaurant and ignores us when my husband gently confronts him. I go home. I turn on the light in my bedroom and he’s laying in my bed with sunglasses. This is the second time he’s done that. “I told you you have to stop doing that!” I yell at him. At this point I decide that my best strategy is manipulating him, since resisting hasn’t worked. I get in bed and ask him why he’s doing this. We have an argument about dolphin swimming and water depth. He tries to impress me by showing me the millions of “stickies” he has under the covers for his cell phone. We go together to a different room that looks like my mom’s room. We’re playing baseball with a bunch of older kids in there. He’s the coach. Everything is disorganized. I bide my time and then after a while, say I have to go to the bathroom. I grab my phone that I left the previous night and I go into my bedroom. I contemplate that it’s a lot like Becky’s old bedroom. I try and think of a solution to my predicament. I think of asking people on dream views how to get rid of a stalker. But I realize it would be a dream stalker, following me and assaulting me in all of my dreams.

I’m on a date with my previous step dad. We’re eating dinner on a balcony across from a hospital. It’s night so I can see inside some of the rooms with lights on. My previous step dad has a double who is working at the hospital. I see him in the room opening up chlorhexidine wipes. The one I’m on a date with asks what I do for a living. I point to his nursing double at the hospital but he refuses to look. I don’t like him and I’m totally over the date. I’m eating a snack bag of potato chips. A girl and her mom come over to my table (both overweight) and ask to have the chips. I tell them absolutely not! They then offer to pay for them. Once they get up to the $20 range I let them have it, it’s half eaten anyway and I start to feel like I’m cheating them. In the process, some other guy gets involved and I ditch my date for him. “Are you sure? I don’t have that much money.” He asks. “You have more money than him.” I say while rolling my eyes. We end up getting married and buying a house together. It’s a pretty old house on a farm. I feel like I’m settling a little bit but this is good for now. I like the surrounding open spaces with horses. He is excited about the view on the roof from the hot tub. We end up having 6 kids. 3 of them are now teenagers and 3 are toddlers. My husband gets into the wrong crowd and starts dealing drugs. From third person I watch a car and motorcycle chase he’s involved in. I shake my head in disappointment as he drives by the house and he looks surprised to see me. At this point it’s as though I’m in a movie and I know what’s going to happen next. I call a hitman on my husband who sits outside my house in a yellow minivan. I don’t know when he’s going to shoot so I’m trying to hide. I expect to hear gunshots but he must have used a silencer. When I come out to look, he’s shot all of my children except my teenage daughter who got away with an unwashed keepsake jacket from her brother. Each of my toddlers are sitting in their highchairs with bullets in the heads, surrounded by blood. I’m devastated but because this was like a movie I’d seen before, I expected it. The van was still there and they were watching me. I was hiding behind an ottoman and eventually they lost me so they started raiding the house. I ran out the front door with an overweight female friend. She was shot on the way out and dropped. I didn’t have time to save her. I ran faster than I ever have. I almost ran into a tree so I jumped off of it, which set me back a couple of feet. At this point the man was following me and gaining on me, yet he was walking calmly. I’m not sure why he didn’t just shoot me. He catches up to me and I jump on his back to attack him. He gives me a marker to write a specific derogatory term on his chin. I rebel by writing different derogatory things elsewhere and trying to choke him. He gets some kind of sexual pleasure out of it. I wonder if he’s someone from my past that I wasn’t nice to. Perhaps I bullied him in school. He takes me to a motel who shelters abusive evil people. Through the windows I can see men who have skinned their own faces, raping women. I know I will find no refuge here. I leap into some bushes across the street and stay still. My captor is pissed off and asks a female from the hotel to help find me. I suddenly feel him start touching and grabbing my body but he’s not sure if it’s me. “I think this could be a hoodie.” He said as he touched the hood on my jacket. The lady made them tea from an apartment right next to me and turned on the pool lights. They started swimming and I figured they were distracted enough for me to run for it. But I had nowhere to go but in the pool with them. I tried to push them underwater and drown them. They stopped following me but I still didn’t feel safe without knowing if he was dead or not. I called 911 but they didn’t help. I went to my aunt’s old house and ate purple flowers. They tasted very perfume-y. My sister and some of her friends were there and they were sharing recipes. I was just drawing in a notebook with wooden pages. I was supposed to do my hair in a specific way in three low buns and I insisted I knew how because I wanted to be left alone, but I didn’t know how and people had to come back and help me. They told me my bobby pins suck. I went back home, exhausted of running for my life. I thought I had to do it more but I remembered that the rest of the running was on Breaking Bad and not part of my personal story. Although now I do have all those precious plastic beads I have to hide. Everyone knows that drug dealers (like my deceased husband) are great at making jewelry and their enemies want to steal the plastic beads. I went upstairs and grabbed some boxes of beads trying to decide where I could put them. There was a whole room full of them. I took them to a window overlooking a football field hosting a game and threw some out of the window. I was worried it would hurt the players. I didn’t want to be involved anymore so I went to the party room. It was nicer than I remembered. The floor was a nice hardwood but it was messy. I went in there and relaxed with the college kids who were playing drinking games during daylight.

Got pulled into an area where a super creepy witch wouldn’t let go of a girl. She had really long arms that were wrapped around a semi, holding the girl and she had red reflective eyes. She kept cackling. Then she started coming at me. She got me and smothered me. I was scared. But then she started telling me nice things. She let me go. She tried to drive positive things home out of fear. But I was still disturbed. Later I saw her in the hallway by the ER laying in a bed covered in blood and wounds. She looked more like a normal blonde now. She reached out to me like she needed help and I tried to avoid her. I didn’t want to play her games. She kept doing things like that. I thought about stabbing her or cutting her throat. I told a cop she should arrest her and sarcastically she said, “approved” reminding me I didn’t have that authority. I was walking by a pond contemplating that it’s good I didn’t kill her without talking to police first because I would have gone to prison. It seemed like I was destined to go to prison. It started raining in slow motion and I laid on the grass and enjoyed it. Then she came out and decided she wanted to be my girlfriend and date me. I agreed for some reason. I started going through checks and told her I’ve been friends with lesbians but never in that way. I was reminded of a lesbian friend whom I had wanted that didn’t want me back and it hurt. She told me we would start with an event planner. We got to up to leave and I woke up sudden and anxiously.

Got called into work on a Sunday but it was Friday night at the same time. D was working. I hung out with him a while and he just stood there. I mentioned how easy his job is on the weekends. Kevin came in and I was surprised. I pretended not to see him. Surgery got really busy. I helped over there. There was a patient whose temp wasn’t reading and I told Amy. She said he was too hot and going to get heat rash. I took his blankets off. He started waking up. He was agitated. He tried to get out of bed and take his IV and foley out. I convinced him not to. Amy told me I need to wear a hair cap. I was so irritated that she told me that with no thanks after I just saved her patient. I tried to tell others but they wouldn’t listen. There were a lot of workers that didn’t get along. Surveyors were at the hospital. In the locker room we decided we should all get along so people passed around party invitations but they were mostly to Christmas events and child bdays. A doctor put in an order for a procedure (last one of that room). I didn’t know how to put it through so I asked if I push enter and then I pushed it. The screen went gray and static. Everyone was annoyed. We had to restart the computer. I was so annoyed that I had been working all day I almost cried. I had three missed calls from D hours ago. He must have gone already. I left without asking anybody.

Becky in the bathrub with her two babies. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t see the older girl behind the baby boy.

Two women in a shower sudsing each other. They had a taboo relationship like mother and daughter or something. One was saying something to the other as she bent her over and then realized she was alone and it was all an illusion.

With grandparents. They showed us the Scottish castle they inherited that they were turning into a water park. They put all their grandkids in a cage to take them there. The Scottish side of the family is very proper. The other side is annoying and intrusive.

I have a bf. He is a young, maybe 18 or so. He keeps calling me and smooth talking. He has a gentle voice but I can tell he wants me. He tells me to come over right now and keep calling me words of endearment. I start to go over but I really want to wear makeup. I find Erica in Becky's old room and we start doing our makeup. I can't find my foundation so I use her cream one. It dries really fast on my face. I remember that it takes an hour or so to do my makeup and I was going to be really late.

Rachel was creating cocaine in a lab. She spent a couple weeks camping with her family. I thought it was to reconnect. Turns out it was bc there are old, abandoned labs in those woods and she was making cocaine (synthetic?). She ends up taking us there. It is a big group of my nursing class (except the only person from real life is Holly). It is the day before graduation. There are black and white tiled floors to the lab and the lab is dark, blue, and falling apart. I was surprised they never blew up the lab bc it promotes people to make drugs. But then again, if they don’t know what’s in the lab, blowing it up is dangerous. Idk what they are doing in the lab this time but a few of us are in uniform, acting like belong there, and standing guard. After a while it starts to get dark and seem sketchy. Some people had enough and were ditching out, but there was a very specific way out. One of the guards took me and another and showed us the way out. This was too dangerous for them. They want out. We get to a little pond that could turn you into a frog if you drank or touched the water wrong. I tell them to stop. We need to go back for the others. The one that showed us out keeps going but the other waits with me. I go back around the corner and there is someone I didn’t recognize staring at me from the other corner. It kinda freaks me out. I tell my partner. They don't want to go back. I tell them “I can’t just sit here and do nothing.” I feel like action is the best response to my fear and discomfort. If I lead, the partner may follow. So I go back despite the creeper and turns out it is no one significant. But it makes me feel like people are out looking for us. We have been gone for a couple hours by now. I go into the lab and the front part looks like a grocery store check area. I tell them we have to go. This has gone on long enough. It’s getting dangerous and people are looking for us. They listen and I show them the proper way out. They blow up the lab as they leave. We all run and have to swim out as the final leg. Holly makes sure everyone gets out and was thrown into the water from the explosion impact. I am her for a minute and can barely breathe. I am aware, but suffered a bit of drowning. I thought she was going to die. But she didn’t. We are all excited as we come out of the woods. It is finally graduation. But what are we going to tell our families? What is our cover? That we were just partying in the woods before graduation. There are spirits watching over us. Their tradition was to wear a strange, protruding sash. They chose one of the girls and put a regular modern sash in her room. She notices it and tries it on. She doesn't want to wear it but she hears voices that tell her it is necessary to reclaim her wholesomeness and show it to the world. She cries and agrees. I choose to a wear a pink dress with black polka dots for graduation.

I was a boy and I had a brother. His name was Wes. Somehow we had joined a cult like group. It was evil. The pentagram was everywhere, being carved into people’s skin. It was dark and there were evil ogres everywhere. There were some male humans, they looked depressed and malnourished. There were rows of human heads, there was a hand with the fingers cut off nailed to the wall. Wes and I sat down trying to go unnoticed. We wanted out. I knew our father wouldn’t want us there. All this was Wes’s idea and he was realizing just how bad it was. I somehow got us out. Our father was an ogre, but of a nicer kind. At this point I was just an observer. The father was driving a van and Wes was sitting in the back. The other brother was out chopping weeds. He called for Wes but Wes didn’t want to go. The father said, “Maybe you’re more like me than you realize.” The father realized that he did belong in the cult, just not with his other brother. The father is a diplomat for the cult. He goes there and talks in front of the others on a podium in the day time. He’s trying to advocate for the women’s rights. They have an equal right to kill and torture. Some of them start complaining that his sons haven’t been contributing.

I’m on a boat in the day time. I’m going out with a group and several other boats for commercial fishing. The water is clear and a captain is explaining stuff to us. He explains that when the rudders break he has to call an expert who knows what he’s talking about. The boats start going and one almost collides with a couple of people on a raft, which the captain is annoyed about. On our boat the captain sees a note from one of the crew members that they had an appointment and won’t be on the boat until later in the day. That simply means they got left behind for good. We go to clean out their room and there are a lot of protein shakes of a specific brand. It’s chocolate milk flavored. It’s supposed to last for 15 years and we all discuss how gross that is. There’s a room filled with animals. There’s a little poodle and several cats and kittens. We have fun playing with the animals and petting them. We set up a little area for the cats to keep them from escaping and give them access to food and water. At some point I jump off the boat and I keep going down, down, down. I never stop going down until I start forcing myself up. I’m worried about my ears. My ear drum is perforated in real life and I’m not supposed to get water in my ears. I realize I can breathe, albeit I still feel oxygen depleted and I realize that I’m sleeping so it doesn’t matter. But I start to worry that I can still get water in them while I sleep.

D driving me somewhere and my mom posting Instagram pictures of her 3 yorkies lined up.

Sarah’s son plays games like chitty chitty bang bang and has a british accent. Hailey occupies my old room at my mom’s house and I tell her to get dressed by throwing two shirts at her. “Oops, that one was supposed to be underwear.” She’s laying in the bed and I need her for something. I’m shopping for astrological books online and they’re all hundreds of dollars. I decide to go with the cheapest version, which is paperback. The amazon fire version was cheapest at $70 but I don’t have a fire. Then I realize the “cheap” paperback is way overpriced anyways so I don’t buy any at all. I want to see a show about a certain historical site turned into a museum but that’s also expensive. I go for the cheapest show which is in a small, curtained dressing room. The guy is doing some illusory tricks but he’s not very good at them. I steal his wallet, tip him $5 from it, and leave. I start feeling bad and turn around to return it. I feel like Nicki Minaj or something. I realize that D and I have more money than him anyway so there’s no point in stealing. I’m very resistant to returning it, though.

My husband (D) agrees to go to a Mormon church with me every week. I encourage him to do it to help him emotionally detach from his negative childhood with Mormonism. Because the sermons are so long, they have a restaurant that serves breakfast and lunch. I meet some girls there. I wonder if I should be friends with them since they're Mormon, but then decide that if they don’t push Mormonism on me it shouldn't matter. I am worried D won’t come. I walk down a large, winding outdoor hallway surrounded by beige stone. It's a long walk to the chapel but it's important not to be late bc they shame you if you are. I get there five minutes before eleven and luckily D is there. Afterwards, D buys spaghetti and other carb loaded foods at the food court. I think it's a bad food choice but don’t say anything. My mom goes with us a few times.

I am reading a destiny book in a classroom environment. Someone (Quen?) tells me that the next step I need to take is learning how to be assertive in dealing with people and conversing. I need to direct conversations towards positivism, speak my mind, and not allow others to constantly complain to me.

I am rehearsing for a play. I am the villain. They want me to make some sounds I'm not good at making so they change my role to one of the guy’s sisters. He is black, though. I consider making a joke on stage that one of our parents is black but I'm not sure it would be well received. I feel this role fits me much better and wonder why they wanted me to be a villain in the first place. Was it because of my eyebrows? My mom comes to the play the next day. It is at the Mormon church. Mostly Mormons are there. They start out making people sing solo. I wasn’t expecting this and am hoping they don't want me to do that. The people who sing are nervous and singing really quietly. My mom yells at them that she can't hear them. I think about what would happen if I were made to sing. I would be too nervous and shaky I wouldn’t be able to finish and that would be shameful and embarrassing for me and my mom. So I decide that if they try to make me sing I will tell them, “No. That’s not what I agreed to do.” But it never comes to that. I realize there was a projection on the screen with lyrical themes and the soloists have to improvise their songs accordingly. Ultimately, the play never takes place and I don't have to act. I am relieved but think it is weird. There is a mini store in the corner. I borrow someone’s electronics from that corner and give it to my mom, who somehow messes up someone’s period style dress with it. I give it back. There are good chips that I want and vendors sampling homemade cookies. I get a pink animal cookie but people keep eating all the sugar cookies. I get a chocolate cookie that has a cookie cream filling. I grab a twix type cookie and put in my pocket, then it broke in half.

The one Kardashian sister with the babies tells her family she is travelling to Lihue for the day. They all scoff bc they think it is a crappy place. Somebody takes an HD film of all the places that a certain male celebrity has been spotted there. They interview some residents bc he mingles with the locals. I wonder how they got such nice, unobstructed video while driving in the car. They pass my grandparents' house and run into 4 car traffic at the stop sign. They do only a rolling stop passing through. I keep seeing signs and buildings that say Moho. I am suddenly the one in the car with Alesia, Erica, and maybe my dad. There is a building that says Mtn. Home and I thought it had been transplanted there but everyone disagrees. I see a sign on the back of a Walmart loading area that says “George Bushes” and I laugh.

There is a fat, blonde, female child. I have to help her stretch her jaw with a piece of paper. Her jaw and cheeks hinge open all the way to the back of her head and I have to place a piece of paper in between. She is crying and wants to be hugged so I hug her. I take her to my mom’s house on the front walkway. We sit down and I talk to her about presence. “Do you know what presence is? It’s when you don’t think about the future and you don’t think about the past, you just think about this very moment. Sometimes we know we’re not being present when we feel things like fear. When we’re fearful we’re thinking about the future. Do you get afraid? What are you afraid of?” She looks at me dumbfounded and then it starts raining, we are getting wet even through the roof. I pick her up and take her inside.

Vague memory of packing boxes with my cousins and moving somewhere together.

Baby orcas and dolphins are swimming everywhere by the shore. I want to get in and swim with the dolphins but I am scared of the orcas, which outnumber the dolphins. There's a dog the size of a rat following me and I want to return it to its owner. They're already on a plane preparing for take off. There is already "caution" tape wrapped over the door. But the owner sees me and reaches her hands out for the dog.
I am Walter White from Breaking Bad (recently finished that series, so I dream about it) and I'm at my mom's house. In an attempt to evade police I got some kind of substance sprayed all over me. They catch me and I say "You caught me." The wife from the show or my mom tells me to change clothes and shower. They talk about how they sang a celebratory song on the public bus.

I'm on my bed ordering subway sandwiches for an event. An instructor and some classmates are there. I order turkey sandwiches with lettuce and tomato. The instructor says, "I don't like lettuce." I say, "Well...we have to put something on them. I think other people will like lettuce." I look around and everyone else agrees. A young boy comes up to me and reads the paper I have that has feedback on him from his teachers. The last sentence reads, "He is weird." He starts telling me that he's not weird because what people don't know is that "I'm actually one of the last powerful beings on earth." I think he's crazy and making up that story to inflate his own ego.

My husband and I go to a hotel with a nice garden. We request room 333. That room is not available but room 233 is. D is annoyed because he thinks they lied to us. I go around trying to get free candy from the old quarter operated machines. One of them requires you to wash the quarter away with milk.

Walk through the rain to get into the hospital. I am in the ER and I have to initiate administering blood but I don't know how. D is there telling his coworkers how great I am. He gives a speech in the lobby but I leave because it makes me nervous.
Friend has a baby boy named Opie. I always mistake it for a different baby girl. It's customary to send the babies to a nursery for a couple days while the mother sleeps and recovers from labor. Her baby is inconsolable until she walks in the room and then it instantly falls asleep. Later the baby waves to me in a store.
At the Wailua stoplight turning right onto the highway. I look at the ocean and start thinking that maybe I do want kids. I remember the feelings I used to get when I had baby dreams. It scares me to think about. The logistics of it makes me decide I don't want them.

Meat shopping with my mom. We buy pork back/spine from an Asian man (funny we both dreamed of Asians and food). Went across the street and there was raw ground turkey all over the street. More things involving a man in a truck and the park from my hometown. Also a group of people wanting to explore a haunted basement.

Bed @ 10pm. WBTB @ 3am.

I realize I'm dreaming as soon as it starts. I'm face to face with an older, overweight woman with short black hair. I am excited I'm lucid but then I hear my phone ring. It's the ringtone of my work. Since I'm on call IRL I can't tell if it's my real phone ringing or if it's part of the dream. It reminds me of the hypnagogic noises I hear while having an OBE. The mental connection to my waking life wakes me up. I have strong vibrations.

At a dinner party A.F. is making balls out of mashed potatoes and serving them with gravy. "This will take patience. I like that." She says. She doesn't really like them and says they need something else. D says he knows just the thing. He adds lemon juice to the mix. I think she's pretending to not like them in order to stick with her diet easier. I have to drive out but can't really leave the area because there are puddles everywhere and really steep pitches of sand. I am worried I will get stuck in the puddles or tip over on the steep sand. Some vague things happen I can't really recall. I sense a mexican lady, shopping bags, and a bathroom. Back at the party the teen moms from the show are there. There's also a hot but immature UFC fighter staring at me. I'm in my hipster crop top and jeans, lying on my side and I want to impress him. Also most of my coworkers are there.

Spoiler for sexual content:

They showed me a video of them in the forest pretending to have an orgy, they were all naked and the men were erect. I thought, "that must have been really awkward to film...or they actually did have an orgy." My cousin B and her husband are there, except they're Heidi and Spencer from MTV. She complains she hasn't climaxed and asks if she can try. "Sure. I don't care." I respond. They go into a tent on a lawn right next to our table. I see her step out with a brown rubber glove on her hand, lubricating her fingers. I think, "maybe he's into that." Then an S+M coach emerges. B texts me and asks if these things are necessary for climax. I text her back that I've never needed those things, but some people like it.

As we leave the party we pass a wall with pictures of the party attendees organized by age. There's a picture of a man tinted in Gold. B.F. keeps talking about "Tom" who's 39 years old and a fantastic fighter who recently started fighting again. We drive out in Q's suburban. There's old, stale popcorn in the backseat. D and q try to clean it out. @ FF's A.F walks around in belly shirt and brags about her fitness level. She does look slightly slimmer than usual. She's getting rid of food scraps. I tell her to give it to the dog and she does.

I was responding to a DV post by my new dream partner. She tells me she will be a little slow with responses because she has so many obligations, like weekly workout classes. Her pic changed to a mirror selfie with a white shirt on, standing behind a little brother. I told her I have a lot of obligations too, like finishing up the school semester and workout classes. Then I remember I'm almost done with school and that I'm only going to one workout class one time, so I'm not really that busy.

A lady talks about how she brings her small, long haired, black/white dog with her to truck stops at night to murder people. I saw her murder a woman eating a sandwich outside of the truck stop. Then she gave her dog a bath and feeds it. Then I see a PSA where a young man at a party headlocks a young girl and shoots her in the head twice.

Went to sleep around 10pm. WBTB at 0300.

Driving a van at night with J.G. He is sleeping and I am very tired. I pull over into a ditch and make him switch with me. He is pissed. The music auxiliary cord gets disconnected and I have to redo it.

3rd person: teenage girl is with her older boyfriend feeling in love and vulnerable. They are in a dimly lit, empty warehouse. To distract herself from her fears she begs him to have sex with her. "I've been practicing! The last guy I was with T-boned me and I've been doing yoga!" I assume T-boning refers to a perpendicular type of angle. They have sex and their genital anatomy is a little strange. She starts bleeding because of the hard angle.

I am at a baby shower of an overweight woman who has already given birth. It takes place in a small garden room. She is laying on a couch with her baby. A young man by a plastic picnic table is rubbing his girlfriend's chest in between her small breasts as some kind of PDA. She is really pretty and her body type reminds me of E.J.T.

At my gma's with E.J.T and my sister. Sister and gma are arguing about religion. I have a mini notebook of E's that has a commandment written on the back. I say, "Yeah but the bible says a lot of stuff that's..." she nods in agreement. Gma is very curt with sister and they continue to argue. I yell, "Just get a long already. Jesus Christ!" I start cracking up and everyone but gma starts laughing about the irony of using god's name in vain while promoting religious tolerance. I feel a little bad for offending my gma.

I am admitted to SMMH psych ward along with another older man. A male worker is giving us a simple orientation. I laugh at something he says about the room numbers being common sense. Then he comes up to me and says, "I mean, look at her. She hasn't even been here for a couple of hours and she's already flirting with everyone. She's just like the rest of them." An expression of astonishment and disbelief comes across my face. Did he assume my giggling was flirting? I realize that he's just taunting me, trying to get a rise out of me and thus non-responsiveness is the best response. I put on my poker face and contemplate about how I'm going to put all of this in my dream journal when I wake up. I go to the common area where we will do a group activity. There's a young man there doing art in his notebook. He wants to show me. It looks like a talented drawing of the earth but he's doing it by drawing random "Potagee Pizzas" (AKA - random, colored-in blobs). I say, "Portuguese pizza?" "Why do you say it like that?" He asks. "Because I'm haole." I respond. He points to himself, letting me know that he's white as well. "I wasn't raised speaking pidgin so it's weird of me to try and speak it now. It's just weird." I say. A local girl in front of me looks at me and nods her head in agreement. I ask for a pen because I want to get started on my dream journal right away so I don't forget anything. I accidentally grab a red one. I get up to the bathroom and the male worker says, "Did I hear a bathroom door?" He comes up to me and leads me to a more isolated bathroom. He enters with me, clearly with the intention of having sex with me. I continue to stare at him emotionless. He gets flustered and says, "Maybe she isn't like all the others. You know what, I forgot my badge in here somewhere." He then stands in the corner and talks to himself about what to do next. I sneak out and make hand gestures to the older, new admission to come with me. I see my husband in the nurses station and gesture to him, too, but he's confused. I yell for him but it's difficult to yell and I feel short of breath. Eventually he comes. My plan is to go back into the bathroom alone and play along with the worker until my posse comes in and catches him in the act.
Later I get transferred to a facility where the sexes are separated. I pass the male side and there are two big, scary looking local guys making sexual gestures at me. One of them is doing so with a shake-weight. I enter the woman's area and there is only one young woman there. She's sitting in the dark at a table smoking a cigarette. "Who the fuck are you?" She asks. "I'm a worker, student, intern or something. Actually, I think I'm a resident but I get special priveliges because my husband works here." I respond. "That's why you get the new room. Isn't it smaller, though?" She asks. "I'm not actually sure." I answer. Her room was large and the bed was so big that the foot of it actually wrapped around a wall corner. I went into my room and it was smaller. I only had a twin sized bed and an unmade sleeper sofa.

+I am with "my family" that isn't my IRL family. I have parents, a little sister, and an older brother (one of the men is Bryan Cranston). We are eating dinner in a dimly lit room around a rectangular table. My brother and dad are across from me, my mom is next to me, and my sister is talking to us from a window opening to the kitchen. She shows us a piece of dark meat on a plate drenched in seeds. She says, "It's time for another ritual." My brother is jaundiced and his skin took on a dark orange hue, so we are referring to him as "The Bear". He became intubated and we assist him with some sort of ritualistic bathing process. Afterwards, when we get back to the table, he is very angry. My mother is frantically trying to change his behavior by doing a series of spells. She blesses the Mexican food on the table and we feed it to him. I am feeding him guacamole and potatoes.
+I am in a nail salon run by white, middle aged men. They brag about their environmentalism. Supposedly they have schutes to properly dispose of old nail polish and other chemicals. Their preferred payment method is in sex.
+I am getting ready for a class but I can't remember what time it starts. My classmates are there and my instructor M. was there. A classmate is complaining that my ziploc bags are difficult to close, unlike hers. I pack chicken for lunch and can't decide what shirt to wear.
+My sister gives birth, though she is standing and dressed. They hand the baby to her and she sobs, clutching it close. My mom yells at me to take the baby from her and do something. I grab the baby and am not sure what to do. I start cleaning the vernix off of it with its blankets but I run out of blankets. The baby is cold, naked, and crying. My mom tells me to swaddle it so I start to. My sister is now laying down properly and Dr. W says that the placenta won't come out and my sister is hemorrhaging. I open a 500 mL bag of Pitocin for her, handed to me by someone. I start cleaning up her work area for her.
+I'm shopping at the mall with a foreign lady. I keep seeing a Wet'n'Wild eyeshadow palette with a complete spectrum of colors for $50-60. Aunt L. asks if it's worth it and I tell her that it is. I want to shop but the foreign lady only wants to ride the escalators because she's never seen one before. I want to go up to the next floor and there is an escalator in sight but she heads towards the escalators on the other end of the building that are far away and out of sight. This happens twice. The escalators are unusually wide and very fast. As I'm going down one I experience a moment of bliss as I am able to appreciate the escalator from her point of view - new, exciting, mysterious, thrilling.