FryingMan

+ earliest dream working out in the gym there was a strange exercise device a cable that runs around the floor up to the ceiling at an angle a slope the idea is that you run really hard maybe with a harness on up this cable forwards and then you run hard backwards so it's a leg exercise done after at some typical gym benches with dumbbells and there are some women and there's a discussion about the difference between people who are experienced in the gym and people who are novices and I think I'm saying


... that the experienced people are able to basically do more with less space around them

+ a theme with a woman, maybe Lena, whom I'm inviting for coffee and a little pastry I'm inviting her to a place that's not far away it shouldn't take too long and it's not the same as I'm going for a full pastry

+ there is a scene of looking at a building across the street on in a cityscape, it's a several story building I'm talking to somebody maybe about [country] and saying then one of the things I wish that I had done was learned to smoke and I think there are cigarettes large like several meter long cigarettes placed vertically at distances around the top of the building and maybe I'm saying "or you would have to jump ?" the next thing I see is that people jumping from like a windows those and going towards the pavement I can see them there's a group's large groups of people 5, 10, 15 all falling vertically down towards the ground, and I'm thinking about how their legs would break when they hit the ground and I could see that their legs were catching on the window sills I'm being sort of tossed around

+ another scene I am looking at 2 black tubes Seems to be outside and these tubes are held together perpendicularly by a clamp and they have to do with a computer coding problem or a solution to a problem like one of them is the code and the 2nd tube represents the input or output stream and I start investigating I'm looking at the objects that are coming out of the output stream and I'm supposed to use this to I guest reverse engineer what the program is doing and it's a little tricky because it's basically water and bits of rope and other things that can come out of a fairly narrow typical garden hose like tube I'm sense not making out any of it I'm thinking about where is the documentation and there is a piece of paper On the ground to the left which is from the operating manual for this program and then there's a man I guess who wrote this manual I may a see him at this time I have a visual of him in his younger days and he had curly tight curly hair and which was already graying at that time so well that makes me think he was older . He says that he can print out the manual and he says the number of the manual like 177 something like that the number is not clear in my mind and I'm following maybe this guy Now across in irrigation ditch or frozen river, maybe a marsh with flattened grasses he goes across 1st and I'm thinking about following him but I'm wondering if it's frozen I wonder if this footing is solid or I'll fall in. I go across and don't fall and climb up the bank of the other side and then climb up to a building to a room that's what I guess the top of this building I think it's supposed to be the documentation center for this company and there are various manuals, the room is a horrible mess it's like it's an abandoned crack house, that level of mess and there may be some people in the distances sort of a cubicle white room , darkish, but I think the manual is not gonna be found here either -- I'm gonna have to go to that guy and print it out

+ Conversation, guess it's outdoors, it's words like: is it better to have a room with a view, or a room near the beach? This repeats a few times. I say it's better to have both: a room with a view of the beach by the beach. I think there is a pathway up ahead that runs perpendicular to where I am standing that may lead to a beach

+ LD DILD #267
I was walking down a long pathway outside, there was someone behind me who is one particular person that I hear like a loud sound and turn around a bit surprised, and there is a EW by deceased wife sitting there. She was angry. I am amazed to see her I stand up and we stand closer to each other her face is so realistic it is very vivid it looks just like her. I talking to her and 1st of all I said well of course I'm dreaming, I wanted to first make this affirmation I realize it's her, and then I can't possibly see her. I do a nose pinch to confirm and I can breath. And then I get very emotional with her, I say "Oh I miss you so much!" And she says "Oh, I miss you." At first she was like arguing with me and being angry with me. I see her , it was really her in later life not young but a little older and a little portly. I take her into my arms and say "oh I miss you so much my [nickname for her, -ochka] And she says "You're at a strange address" and I think this means she couldn't find me at our last home together, and i said "yes I've moved" (I remembered that I had remarried and moved to a different place. i feel her scratchy pit with my right arm is under her left armpit. I'm crying and balling emotionally



+ at the parking garage I'm arriving like I guess by car I'm parked outside and the entrance to the parking garage is gated and I'm surprised by this and there's a notice posted and I think oh yes of course it's a holiday weekend so they've locked the garage and if you don't have the right key access you won't be able to get or to get out. I'm naked I have no clothes on little bit self conscious about this but there was some body awareness. I managed to partially open this gate and I think I could go inside but then I may not be able to get out. Then I'm thinking normally these places are such that if you get in you're going to be able to get out from the inside but I wasn't sure about that so I didn't dedicate to that.


+ the pool looking for the pool,
the stone slots on the room with S1
walking through the garden thinking yeah don't have to water it
asking those guys at the top of the tower Hey where's the pool
gathering up the food to bring back to the refrigerator

+In an apartment kitchen, L-shaped. I see food in the apartment, stacks of food all very healthy I guess it's also in the refrigerator it's a small half-sized refrigerator (back along the long leg of the L). I see a short corner-standing shelf, about half the height of the ceiling, I think it would be more efficient to have a full-height shelf.

+ I'm looking through this apartment/home that's very detailed very vivid. I noticed the floor is tiled with a number (10-15) of very long narrow rounded ellipse shaped stone "tiles." These stones cover the floor of the room, and are several inches high and spaced an inch or two apart to the floor if very uneven, making it very hard to walk on it on the one hand but on the other it's hard (for others to come in and take over?) I wanted to take these pieces of stone out and store these things outside in the garden. Son S1 is outside, a younger version of him.
I'm walking outside and storing some pieces of these stones outside, I see the garden, very detailed. [Thank you day practice!] There are (looking back towards the original stone slat room inside) two chaise lounges on either side of the path, with plants around them.

I'm walking through the garden thinking yeah I don't have for water or wondering if I have to water it and where's the watering system thinking well because this is a hotel they must certainly take care of that. At first I think I had bought this house but then I realized oh yeah, this is a hotel (or some managed property). There is a wall of the building ahead visible through the plants and I'm looking for the automatic sprinkler system devices, and wondering where the controls for the watering system are.
At one point I'm sort of leaning off a wall and I see the address of the place, it is one of those branded "stay at home" places. It has a sort of funny address: 22435. I see the main entrance, it has an illuminated sign, white background with red lettering, it says "Extended Stay America: Stay At Home" or something like that.

I continue further through the garden, and notice a row of chaise lounges (with umbrellas?) laid out on a curving path, I think this would be a nice place to relax. Very realistic, very alternate life-level feeling. [Did some SSILD cycles, did some "I will be lucid in my dreams" affirmations].

Then I'm on top of a high platform like a diving board, It's very confusing and I'm afraid of flying, it's a platform very high Above the ground. I had the sense that I wanted to fly and I hold an internal discussion with myself, On the one hand, I knew that the feeling that you want to fly generally means you can fly, but I'm afraid that if I can't fly that I'll fall and get hurt. I didn't do it nose pinch or think of dreaming. I turned around and there are like 2 young men approaching, I have to go around carefully so I don't fall from this high place in the middle and (they?) point an imperfection, "be careful," in the Sidewalk that I'm walking on. There are people down below. I wanted to ask them where's the way to the pool I wanted to find the pool.

I'm walking back the way I'd come earlier through the garden, and I see packages of food outside on the ground along the path I'm walking. I'm picking up the (only the perishable ones because they need the refrigerator?) packages and stacking them in my arms and heading back to the apartment.


I see her (EW deceased wife) again (she was very angry and I could not calm her down....she said something was a waste of money and I answered "well yeah, lots of people waste money on lots of useless things" I got back to the room I spill water on the floor h I think "Oh, God," I've got I have to clean this up and the water starts spiraling out from the room and down and down and around the stairs and then on to different landings and I also dog pee, puddles of yellow pee in the rooms And then I think my dog has peed here and we're going to have to clean it up. I'm going to go find something to clean up all those water or the maids are going to come in and be pissed.

I was also returning to the room with the idea that we have to save for a farewell to this imaginary family we have a bunch of kids that at 1 point I'm thinking it's like The Brady Bunch they've been with us. we're gonna have to go back to the room we're going to have to say goodbyes as they're gonna have to leave and it's gonna be very sad, but I have to do it and then they're coming back and they say "oh do we have to?" There is EW again, she is very angry different in face slightly. I'm trying to reason with her but she just wno't calm down.

+ is 1st dream attack of the bomber. In a place with some people, some go off to a room to the side to fight with an enemy, if he does there is this other guy who will take his place for the next fight, but if he does you'd better run as the attacker will come for you. That happens then I'm in the back yard art of CH the attacker throws a small ball at me, it's a bomb, it lands on the ground, it's slightly lemon shaped and half black and half white with perhaps some symbols on it, It has a message like "Goodbye, you're dead" written on it. I'm standing down by the fish pond facing the lemon tree. I decide to try to escape the explosion I throw this ball back away from me and I'm running up through the flower beds along the right side of the property (right of the lemon tree) I get up to the street and I'm not obliterated yet so I keep going, turn right and head down FrLn. Going down the hill There are a lot of motorcycle carts so that you're driven by black guys and carts I guess they're body collectors it's a gang and moving among them, I get away this way.

+ I'm on a commuter train like a metro train with my luggage arriving at an airport the Train stops and people get off to the left, and I have to go back a few rows to my luggage, there is a backpack with some books that are protruding out of the top and I wonder if people have looked at them. I picked it up and make my way to the exit but the train door closes the train starts going, and I'm panicking. The right side of the train is open (no wall) and the platform is starting to to go by at high speed. I'm thinking of jumping but decide not to because it looks too fast. I get to the next stop and I have to make my way forwards through all of the airport gates to get to where I'm going to my connection. I don't have much time. There are a lot of airport gates check in gates from different companies, from Middle Eastern airlines most of the airlines seem to be named by 3 letter acronyms and I'm looking for a particular one, I think I'm having trouble finding it.

+ I'm arriving to some place in the snow in the car and I pull into a parking space on the right in a spot where the curb opens up to the right in front of a large (pile of snow?) and I noticed that there are also sort of a strip mall of businesses in front of me to the right, about 50 yards farther. I'm thinking about other people parking all around me.

+ (maybe earlier) I'm arriving to someplace I think in (current country) it's like a school or a sports camp I arrived to the building a wooden building and I'm welcomed by a staff greeter who I think is a young woman and she takes me up to the 2nd floor the 2nd floor and the upper floor is for basketball the décor is old dark reddish Brown wood very rich color old looking and we get to the 2nd floor and the ceiling is very low and it's quite low even for a regular room and I'm thinking "there's no way we're gonna be able to play basketball in that space." and the kids start arriving A lot of them are shirtless young men there are some girls but looking at the guys they're all very muscly very young they don't have their shirts on and I'm thinking well if I'm gonna have to take off my shirt they're gonna laugh at me cause make some kind of fat by comparison.

+ tennis dream I'm practicing taking some strokes I think it's in our room in an indoor facility my opponent will be coming soon and I want to look very impressive by taking some very strong ground strokes working on some backhands And some forehands but the ball seems to always go too low or too wide too wide, these would not be legal shots in a real game.

+ [vague] Sort of a combat dream outdoors obstacle course [this one unfortunately has faded] there's also something about having to choose someone as if they're an opponent or a friend and they're all sort of young men 1 of them is very fat I don't know how I've faded a bit unfortunately and there are some tall fences and maybe some tanks and climbing along walls moving between areas

+ (earlier) With S1 and S2. I'm moving through a house like our PTL house with S2 and where arguing about the rhythm or the meter of the opening notes to Beethoven's 5th (da-da-da-duuuummmmmm) and he thinks it's a triplet and I know it's 2/4 signature (eighth notes with a eighth note rest)

another scene S1 is very angry at us I have an impression of city scape S1 is like leaving S2 and me, leaving us forever, because you are the ones who you did something to me or took something for me. (Something about coats?)

a brief scene where S2 is being horribly abused (or it's a dare?) by S1 and some other kid, they're in a public bathroom standing at a row of sinks and S2 has impaled his entire left nostril on a whole faucet, the complete faucet structure is entirely up into his nose and the skin of his nose is horribly stretched and enlarged from this. Then S2 stand up and pulls his nose off the faucet, and the nostril remains horribly enlarged hanging from his face like an empty sack. This repeats a few times I'm thinking this is quite a horrible thing.

The earlier dreams were at 4 AM the later dreams the final waking was about 7:15

transcription of speech-to-text voice recorder notes, cleaned up a bit

Early:
+ [long, fairly vivid & present] CH invader, black brass band spewing brown paint from tubas
My Drive
I'm inside my CH parents bedroom and I am looking and I'm bothered by some people down below they are I'm looking down out on the terrace and I see some bums about 20 years old mulling around the below neighbor's property at the property line right-hand side (sandbox area) in the dark the trees and one of them's going off to the left and like peeing there and thinking about how can I get rid of these guys they're bothering me it was either smoke or noise or something and I have a spray bottle and I think can I reach them with a spray bottle? and I really want to do that?

When I start spraying the group that's kind of to the right and one of them breaks off and starts like coming up moving along the left towards the back lawn to come up to the stairs and I think hes very aggressive and I'm now on the main deck and I'm following his progress and hes coming up he's very aggressive andhe's pratically up to the to the deck and then I pick up a wrench from the deck I'm running along the deck around the corner to the left to try to meet and confront him. And hes charging at me on the on the deck and I've got the squirt bottle I'm squirting him with the with water and I've got the threatening him with the wrench but he comes right at me and you know kind of pushed his crashes up into me and then he moves immediately into the house into the screen door he opens the screen door and I'm screaming at him to get out and he goes through the kitchen and through the back porch

at some point I make a phone call to 911 and I'm screaming about how there's an " emergency! emergency! emergency! fucking emergency!" "like life-or-death! get here immediately!" And somewhere along the line in the back porch I'm able to subdue him and get him to lie on his face and get his arms behind his back and I don't have any restraints or handcuffs but I'm kneeling on the small of his back with my knee on his hands

then someone's ringing at the front door I think it's the police and I'm going and open the door and it's my dad standing on on the front porch 2 old washed up security guards with blue shirts on them and looking at them I'm thiking "are they police?" "do they have weapons?" and I think that it's clear that they're not police and don't have weapons and there's some other person Maybe a woman on the porch And I say "are you fucking kidding me!?" (I think these guys will be entirely insufficient to handle the situation) and the security guys push their way in to the house, they rush in with I don't know something very small either guns or some useless weapon and at that the criminal invader leaps up off the floor and rushes to meet them and now hes got a full sized assault rifle and hes pointing it at them and they're struggling hand to hand and they're trying to not get shot and I joined the struggle this is happening all in the landing by the front door

We're all struggling and at some point my dad says like "For God's sake [my name] shoot him!!!!" and I'm sort of petrified I'm I'm not sure what to do I don't really want or shoot him but I don't have anything to shoot him with anyway and I'm looking on the top of the buffet which is behind the invader hes facing the front door and hes facing the security guys and I see that all the weapons all the guns have all been dismantled and all of their components the rods the Springs leavers triggers everything are all laid out on the buffet and there's no way I'll be able to reassemble these things and in time to be able to do anything

And this point the police come but they've arrived at the back porch and I sort of see them there and I rushed to open the back porch door to let them in at this point the house is full of people and I'm trying to direct the police to the invader and the invader notices that police coming for him and he runs away, going around the other side of the pathway through house he's like going through the living room to the dining room, I see him from the back porch hallway door to the dining room, he's moving towards the kitchen and out to the back porch door while I'm pointing out to the police, "there he is! There he is! That's him!" (as he's moving from room to room) he runs up back steps up to the street.

Up on the street, he's apparently been caught by the police and hes being led up to a Van but a news organization has arrived before on the street and in the Van and there are people like there's a woman with scratches and bloody scratches on her face I don't know how she got those and I think this criminal invader is shaking the hands with somebody like someone he knows ( and there's something about the interacting with these people up on the street).

When I'm back inside The house and my and there's my mom and she's put a little padlock onto the front door lock handle, it doesn't in reality have a way to put a padlock there but she did it because there's something oozing through the locks and it's like a very sticky is like frosting and I open up the front door and I see the whole front door is covered with frosting and then someone is spraying frosting on our front door and I look And this is not real life layout but there's like a fence running the along the property line and on the other side of the fence is an apartment complex and there's something like a woman standing there in the yard very aggressive and spraying holding a big hose and spraying the frosting on our front door and and there's a whole big confrontation with all these social Justice Warriors people on the other side of this fence With me having you know defended my home and and my sister is there and they're accusing me of shooting invaders, and I say, "Yeah, I wish I was on a tower with a sniper rifle!" and these people are I think God now are home is going to be a permanent target for the social Justice Warrior people.

This goes on for a while and then I notice there is a guest(s) walking through the house who has been covered in Brown paint . And I"m thinking "Oh, God, what is this?!" Moving back to the kitchen the back porch side of the house and it turns out that there's like a brass band playing up on the street and the their brass instruments are full of paint and while they're playing them and blowing into them the paint is getting blown onto people so there are lots of people now here are covered with paint and as I'm approaching this there's a young black man very young teen or a tween even and he's wearing a suit, this brass band is made up entirely of black musicians. I sort of shoo him along Pushing on his back going to this group and say something like well "I know you're part of the group because he's black and they're black!" I get up closer and they're all standing on the sidewalk so they're not actually on my property I think "Oh, ho! Very clever! They're not actually violating my property but they're still bothering us. And there's an older man part of this group, more of a director and I'm talking to him and saying "Oh, yeah, very clever, well done."


Then I'm meeting with some people, an older guy and maybe someone else and I want a gun and so I'm asking him if I can take a look at his revolver, because revolvers are very reliable and they won't jam up and I say, "Hey, could I look at it?" He agrees and hands me something made of glass, a glass bowl (with tubes?) and I'm confused, "Where's the metal part?! ... the part where you put the bullets?! It's not the gun I wanted

Then I'm in a sports complex (I go through a security checkopint/turnstyle?) and I'm doing stuff and I turn around a corner and there's a swimming pool and despite I think about my shoulders I still want to swim so I start swimming actually feels pretty good. There are other people around in the water. I reach the end/edge and turn aroundand then go back and swim to the other side and the pool is suddenly packed with people, mostly fairly young kids and I'm kind of I'm thinking the pool is a little bit too short for a decent exercise but still I'm trying to swim through the crowds but I can't do any kind of lap swimming cause there's too many kids And I'm pushing through them and

[MEO 2022-06-22 #1]

and I'm sort of walking through the water towards the side where we can get out and then something happens gets kind of dark and I realize the water is getting deeper and that This is a change from how things were and I well I can't go that way so I have to turn around and go back and it's kind of hard to move and I realized that I've gotten turned around and it was going to the wrong end of the pool into the deep end. I get back to the side where we can get out and so there are some young men there and they're nearby on benches with nearby display cases: vertical display cases, rotating display cases, full of things like pencil erasers and maybe mechanical pencil parts and I'm trying to get this kid off my shoulders and I lean forward and it doesn't really come off and then end up putting him on his head very clumsily and also out of his pockets (he's a boy now) and out of his pockets fall a big pile of pencil erasers and pencil parts.

Later:

+ There is the archery tanline I'm looking at my skin as it is very big black kind of stripes and patterns especially in my right arm I think that's when I was sitting outside like talking to some guy earlier. and there's some geometrical shapes on the untanned withe untanned skin and I think that's why I was wearing a kind of an arm protector, may be for archery and there was one little narrow band that extended up into my inner elbow.

+ earlier There was a meeting at a school registration desk where I was handed a small square electronic tablet with a screen on it I'm supposed to use that for registering or something and I'm talking to the young women which are there at the desk,

+ in an apartment not moving not aware of my body talking with someone just noticing being aware of I was comparing it to things that I saw to another place and also imaginary and false memory which I thought I knew. So I'm standing in a kitchen from the perspective of the kitchen there's a counter at my left with a sort of column and counter/bar dining room. There's an entrance area to in front of me and then a corner sort of a living sitting room area (ahead and to my left behind the counter). I'm noticing the objects around the room: there's a desk with 3 monitors on it displaying some image. They're positioned so that they can be seen from like all the angles of the room: one pointing to the right, 1 sort of oriented the middle, one oriented to the left.

And there were kind of little doodads I don't know stuffed toys or objects sort of colorful. They were located at the floorboards ahead of me in the entryway and to the left of the table with monitors in the living room. And with whovever I was there (also not visible) was I was I was remarking on the striking similarity of this room to the other one the other apartment the other place I knew. and I was thinking there's some kind of a standard template that they must use in these apartments.

+ [vague] In some sort of Service place like a building with service counter some kind of a business where you can get service done and it had something to do with "company N", and I was talking with <president of company N> later, then I mentioned that I wanted to use his service and I said Hey you know you guys could also use ours (a trade).

+ meeting with my cousin sitting at a table with a meal and he was asking me for help in marketing and I was very uncomfortable am really quite terrible at marketing. but he wanted to me to do it. He said, "It is really easy you just need to call people and tell them about the benefits of all these vitamins," and then I guess he handed me some materials that have written information about the health benefits of these various you know standard sort of vitamins.

+ I was at a quiz talking to a woman giving the questions, the are about very specific things of places of names and buildings -- sort of Trivia contest I think it's centered around the University of [my 2nd Uni] and I have a piicture [it's a false memory and not a realistic picture] of the campus North South East West and there were some questions I was asking about North and South I was clarifying some of the questions and there were like 2 questions I got both of them wrong and I was amazed in the dream I was amazed that I got these wrong and thought I really knew this place and I was thinking about like oh I used to walk that path you know to the gym all the time and all the time

+ and there's another little bit about a guy who died sort of related to Maybe the cousin meeting where he's asking me for help. this guy was also signing up to work on various aspects of some important problem and he was signing up to work on "3, 4, and 5." whatever these points were and someone comes up and says he (whatever his name was, forgot), " oh he died!" it looks like he died because his name disappeared from some sort of computer registry and we're all sort of shocked and don't know what to do

+ final scene was sort of with a child's push toy or a push card and I'm outside and [people are] accumulating candies or stuff for kids and there are some also some adults nearby (Indian maybe) and they're reaching across the cart getting in the way of its movement and getting in the way of me doing whatever I'm doing and they're reaching for like these shelves of snacks and chocolates and candies and things to the left.

We decided to try on his 2nd night with us bringing the new puppy (4 months) up to the 2nd floor to see how he does and so he can be closer to us at night. Went OK, but sleep was interrupted at 6am (late bedtime, too, around midnight) when the little feller needed to go outside (didn't make it in time).

No recall. I even was able to sleep more. I definitely dreamed both before and after the 6am event, but my mind moved immediately to doggy upon waking and recall vanished. Recall seems much more fragile recently.

Some early recall forgotten, vague impressions come and go but nothing's sticking

Brought home a new puppy yesterday, life's going to change considerably. Dreaming probably will go (again!) on the back burner. I'll try to keep up mindfulness in the presence of the new chaos. It will probably be a great exercise of lucid awareness under the stress of constant supervision and management of the doggy.

Despite the late bedtime and the crazy day yesterday, did manage some recall at around 5-6 hours.

Clearest dream:

+ with (family?) going to a restaurant. outside, twilight, we approach an area (with a lot of signs? advertising the restaurants?) on a hill, past a gate? We go in to one, and the tables are laid out also going up a hillside. My family (?) goes up to a table up the hill and sits down, and I stand to the side with a waiter (or Maitre D'?) and were talking.

Waiter: You said you'd get here at 7:02 and now it's 7:05. (We're losing money of this? He thinks this is a bad thing and he's berating me)
Me: (something like: It's no big deal, we're here now so all is fine)

I also talk to him about some perhaps illicit activity or purchase that we had previously agreed on carrying out(?)

[Then some fragments, part of the same dream or not, not sure]

+[f] walking outside, on a road, (near a sidewalk?), I see a very deep dirt depression in the road (tire marks)

+[f] There's a young woman, part of the plot, and we're supposed to meet a young man. I see one but he's not the one I expected: he has very hairy and heavily tattoo'd arms

+[f] the process of sitting down around a table with a group

I'm back to voice journaling in bed before getting up. I'm trying out the speech-to-text features as well. There will be a lot of typos and misunderstood words, I'll try to clean them up. Looking to get a lot more detail recorded this way! And spend less time transcribing the voice notes into the DJ.

bedtime: ~23:30?

~ 05:00

Think it's time to try a WILD
But generally go right back to sleep

Summary's 1st dream earlier wake time about 5 AM at the G's (FB friend afro american family) house picking up raisins & things like strips of beef jerky with a vacuum before throwing them away into a bag, and then I realized that there are symbols written on to the jerky, a serious of arrows, I think these are movements video game hints written on the back of the jerky, and these are directional button presses for controls for a game console. I take the jerky out of the bag and put it back. The room I'm in is like my parents room in my CH. My head/eyes are on ground level, and I'm looking at the accumulated junk that I've been picking up.

I'll go down the stairs and I hear screaming/yelling and go down the stairs and Mrs. G is there this is the black family. I move quickly down the stairs, I descend quickly. I glance down and see my legs briefly, I think they don't know that I'm in the house And I get down there and I think oh no they're gonna freak out because of a white man in their house they say oh yeah look there was a white man here but she recognizes me and we hug and she says "It's great to see yo ass!!" with that t I do a little twerking dance don't I just kind of shake my ass I stick back and stick my butt out and kind of shake it left and right.

Later leaving the house, out on the street, and there's an alarm I don't know the like the kids all have to go somewhere and so I guess you might be there and the interesting back into some sort of cabinet or there's an alarm console and I think the police are coming.


final waking ~ 08:30

other dreams OK quickly summaries
+ Comps and launch Vegas leading to menus of complexes including lobster and lobster in lamb another. I've been betting and losing at a table. I come up to a pit boss and say hey how about some comps. He (she?) immediately hands me a number of different pieces of paper with numbers and words written on them. I think I may have to spend more money to be able to get any use out of them at all. I think that they know how much money I've lost and they give me comps for less than the value that I've lost, and that this is the way they make money, even if the give out comps, but you have to ask for the comps in order to get them. They're mostly for restaurants, and the menu involves lamb and lobster in most of the cases.

+ finding my group we got some Piece of paper with the address of where they are and it's a funny little half door at the ground level and you have to get down and crawl through get stuck, pull myself out, shoes are squeaking, I say "sorry about that," I take them off switch them to other shoes (?) and then the group of people (5-6) is stuck in a Box held in by their shoes and it starts to roll back down towards the sort of an outdoor lawn towards the edge of a waterfall in the distance as I say take off your shoes get take them off get out eventually everyone gets out and they play a lot around the waterfall and there's a force field there that prevents them from falling but I think that you shouldn't be playing with that. Then I say OK everybody get your stuff together I guess like your shoes and let's go on farther further and there's another man there who agrees, says yeah he agrees with me.

there's a scene where I'm following a car I guess I'm in <my country> following the car by by foot and I'm it's very detailed that's a very sort of stylistic stylistic flourish design style on the show is the style of the paper the rest I think it's a restaurant And I'm looking at an I'm wondering what's it doing here and look at the license plate at the license plate and then I guess the lesson plate has changed I'm trying to figure out where it's from and 1st I think it's just that's located on <my Petr. region in my city> but then I look at it and that seems to be based in Oakland California and I think wow how did they get that car here that car here they must have shipped it here I'm following it and it's sort of a downtown scene I'm walking by people that arrive at at a restaurant or concert place and there's a
lot of people pushing through or I'm with a group I get to the maitre D' And I see those people I'm meeting with, none of these people I know in waking life it's a work group or something is there we're waiting OK to meet them up and they send us inside and they sa y(maitre d') says yeah but don't let whatever Frank (some name) do uh don't let those guys do their usual thing (some prank) but I think that means that they will cause a big ruckus and uproar and we get inside that's a big large tent arena arena someone says because of the (tubs of) water inside, big open vats of water, the sounds of the music will reverberates and really gets extremely loud and crystal like like and I meet one of the performers up around on the stage area and it's very awkward I wanna shake his hand but somehow I reach out with my left and he reached out but this is left for a right they don't really grasp our hands properly and I say I guess we're not gonna do that Frank guys thing, we won't be making any kind of a big scene. I'm joining my other colleagues whatever on there around the stage.

it's amazing the visual detail fades quickly

bedtime ~ 00:00
final waking ~ 07:30

Recall seems in a bit of a rut. Only late morning recall, and not very detailed.

+ [f] They're serving mint ice cream at a fancy restaurant?

+ with people, going to travel somewhere by car, we're going to have to squeeze about 5 people into a normal passenger car for a multi-hour long trip. I'm really apprehensive about this, I think it will be extremely uncomfortable.

+ outdoor multi-level area with people mulling about above and below. I'm on an upper level and I look over the edge down to the lower level, I want to jump down there but I'm a bit concerned about the landing, it might hurt my legs (it's at least a 20 foot drop, pretty far). I instead climb over the railing and let myself down a bit to lower the distance and let go. There are young people walking around and I think they're talking about me?

+ standing under double horizontal bars (2nd set higher than the first). I do a hands-facing away pullup on the lower bar, it's hard & slow but I make it, then I reach up to the higher bar and do a hands-facing-me chinup and pull myself up to the top of the bar. I think my dad is watching from higher above (on the road?)

There is a ballet audition that involves making a very graceful pullup and raising your legs very slowly up to the ride and up and over the bar. There are two (male?) judges standing above the bar and critiquing the candidates. There is a younger (boy?) currently doing his performance, he does it well. Then it's my turn, I make the pullup, then I try to really artistically and very slowly raise my right leg up over the bar. It's really hard to do it slowly, and my leg gets stalled, but I push through it and get my leg up over the bar. I think I've done OK but I almost failed by not getting my leg up at all. I have a coach there with me standing with me and giving me encouragement. He asks why I moved my leg so slowly, I mention because I was really trying to be highly artistic.

This week I started voice recording in the morning in order to better preserve dreams for journaling. When I have a chance I'll get these added. The voice recorder on my new mobile phone has a speech-to-text function, which should make getting the detailed text into the DJ much easier. I'll still be reviewing and correcting the entries since the conversion has mistakes occasionally.

+ Memory of more dreams and situations with people, in places doing things...but they've faded

+ I'm in the shower, (there's a sudden sound/bang?), I look up, and I see through the ceiling to the roof structure (and a bit of sky?). Something's wrong with the house? I get out and am standing in the hallway, when my Jr High Best friend DD enters the bathroom. I call to him to stop, he turns around and faces me, he's naked. His face is very similar to how he looked in High School. I'm telling him there's something wrong with the shower. My sister is there, too. I think he has no modesty, as he's standing full on facing us through the bathroom door and my sister is probably getting a good look at his (ahem). I'd expect to see his hairy pubic region but with a glance everything is smooth and all the anatomy is missing, like a doll.

+ CD, "we program only in pure m4." I'm thinking about what that would mean, are they using C++ together with m4? The m4 would result in "cleaner" C++, just using simple classes for organizing data and nothing fancier than that?

bedtime 23:20, out of bed 08:10
final waking ~07:30

some dreaming, but memories from earlier in the night faded quickly
emphasized going back to sleep quickly for good, 8 hours of sleep
need to record keywords at each waking.

earlier:
+ see boy scout equipment lying around on ground, see my inflatable ThermaRest pad, I'm picking out/up equipment, choose an [imaginary] saw? Blue colored? large, rounded teeth, like a saw-tooth shark nose

+ following a (plane?car) up a narrow windy hill road, I'm tailgating it, it's (we're?) going to take off?

later:
Some vivid moments but the memories really fade quickly upon waking. Need to work on grabbing recall instantly after waking before even the smallest movement


+ away from home base at some sort of cafe/restaurant/rest stop, I walk by some girls on my right and glance side-long at them, I see one (I know her?) with large breasts, the outline/shape of which are shown by her clothing.

Talking with someone about whether or not we should return, considering it's a 30-minute drive, they encourage me to go on home, so I do.

Arriving near to home I'm laying back and spreading my legs wide and getting everything "aired out", I'mr riding on something without roof or walls.
On the grounds, I see a straight long lower alley (of grass?) (with sloping sides leading down into it) leading far in to the distance, passing under a dark bridge at 90 degrees to the path. In the distance there is a (white? light colored) wall with graffiti written on it in different colors, words, and young people are busy scrubbing it off

Spoiler for sensitive content:

+ Viewing screens of pictures, some racy, I'm looking for the X-rated versions which I recalled I had seen earlier, but now I can't see them, they're of a girl and a guy in bed, the guy is wearing red robes/pajamas. Then I'm looking at a large screen with pictures of girls faces, and there's someone there also with me, I don't like being observed [DS]

earlier:

+ on beach, scuba/ snorkel training to left in the surf, I turn my back to the ocean, am hit by large wave, and dragged back in to the water, I think I'm a great swimmer but I am completely at the mercy of the waves and powerful current. A wave pushes back up to beach (but I can't get out) but on a second wave I get my feet underneath me and run quickly up the beach out of the reach of further waves

+ discussion with group about ski trip plans, some are upset we didn't get going at 1am

later:

+ in (large-ish) room in house, lying on floor, with combo sniper rifle/shotgun. sighting at cork lying on floor along wall curved large radius meeting joint of floor and wall, switching back and forth between rifle mode and shotgun mode (there was a small level to do this about halfway down the barrel of the gun). I'm trying to decide between bullet/rifle mode and shotgun mode. I could try for shotgun mode at first to make sure I hit the cork to make sure my sighting is correct. I think I'm close enough that the blast should be fairly contained and not fan out too much to the surrounding area. I decide to shoot, and squeeeeeeze trigger slowly (as I remember is recommended) and take the shot cork zips all the way down to the far wall, bounces, and returns back to its original location, S1 & S2 come in and I say "hey did you see that?! How it bounced right back?" Then turn around looking at stuff on floor/wall boundary with S2, I think about using (crumpled up newspapers?) to pick it up and take/throw it away, I say to S2 "You can ask S1 to help you with this.'

Looking at toy hokey game, seems like 2 vs 2 players but there are more levers (about 8), I'm looking at the right-side levers, the right-most is missing the rubber twisty handle with ridges. The lever about 3rd or 4th from the right is pretty seriously bent and wrapped around another lever, I untangle them a bit and comment on this bent lever, think about about the play of the game and shooting the puck around.

+ giving a tour of frat row to some (friends?), including young woman. We're riding by vehicle but the view is unobscured. My gaze is fixed on the frat buildings on the right side of the street relative to direction of car. It's dark/twilight. The frat buildings are tall (3-4 stories) and dark (no lights within). I'm trying to look through the windows to see the things I expect to see inside (trophies?).

At the end of the street the group is walking and we encounter a van that drives up and stops near me on a "T" intersection, it approaches from the right. I know I need to arrange a meeting with these guys (they're govt officials?), I "remember" we pre-arranged a meeting at a point on the street back from where we (walking group) came from. I tell the driver we'll met you there. I turn our group around and start walking towards the meeting point. I think we're walking on a street different from where the van is going to park and I wonder if they'll exit their vehicle and walk around to our street to meet us.

With group, there is a requirement for some of us (me and 2 other guys, one an older man) to drink a drink with tea, sugar, and some bright fruit juice. It comes time, but all I can find is tea with a lot of sugar, so I drink it. The man comments about the missing juice, calling it "<something> urine (?)".

+ losing L
Some sort of business proposition (with L?) about ambulances, I don't understand and ask for clarification.
There is a business meeting on an open field outside in twilight with a large group of women. They're all very positive about it, and I'm impressed at the swift level of approval of our idea. To my right on the grass I see some lines of what I believe is wiped/scuffed dog crap (it's brown and the right texture).

I have a new romantic object and I'm really torn about what to do about L. I'm planning to leave L for the risky new romance. I think it's not fair to L. I speak with her and tell her that I need to move on. I think I'm taking a huge risk, I really love L and don't want to lose her. In a large auditorium [DS] for a talk/presentation/show, standing among the seats in the center, then I move (with L) to and aisle on the left hand central side, and an usher comes up and tells us to clear the aisle. I get annoyed and point back to where I was and say that I already had a seat. I look around and see that the seats have filled up where we previously were and all through the auditorium, and the only free spots are in the extreme corners/edges. I see a string of free seats near me and head into them with L, moving from the left central aisle towards the center of the auditorium. I see that JaCon (T5) is seated there, so I go up to him and L and I sit down, JC is on my right and L is to my left. I wonder about how to introduce L: my former love? my friend? I decide to say "JC, this is Lena, Lena, this is JC, my friend from T5. She externs her hand across me under my ams on the arm rests to shake JC's hand. I take her hand in mine after that, and I'm deeply saddened by the fact that I won't be able to take her hand in the future.

I'm adjusting some written materials now that L and I are breaking up. I'm looking at my signature close up on paper. I recognize the first letter of my first name written in cursive but it is still strange and not quite from the alphabet. It's written in blue/green. I read then my last name in a stylized script font, very clear and regular shapes like on a computer. This is not my handwriting. I realize that it was written this way specifically to be highly legible.

+ glass house
There is a glass house on a hill, someone breaks in there is tons of broken glass everywhere, there is a (glass?) dog lying on the ground a bit away from the house, covered with sequins that gets covered by the sharp shards of glass. I start to clear away the glass from the dog, it's owner (woman?) approaches

later:
+ bus/music
Seated on a bus (left-hand side near the front, where I used to site in Jr High) with a girl putting together a [my instrument]. I'm using a bottom piece from a professional player, mixing and matching pieces to build up an instrument. The player and an older woman (organizer?) are there, standing in the aisle to my right. The (woman?) recognizes me as a (normal and bass version of my instrument) player, and I acknowledge that yes, I play both. The player takes back his borrowed bottom piece saying I don't need it, I think I do but then realize I don't and say I could just play the bass version while the girl could play the normal version.

+ LDD #266 LD DILD DDILD
stairway stars lucid man hat take me to group goose girl take her hand continue walking dream fades
repeat non-lucid ask man take me to group, enter auditorium [DS], from right side (facing stage), go to left side (or am just there), undress girl (many layers of pants!), ushers come and kick us both out, heavy makeup, I remove her makeup and we sneak back inside the auditorium

Climbing a stairway outside evening softer light, looking up into the sky above bare trees at the top of the staircase. Around the moon I notice a shifting / dancing pattern of bright little solid yellow "pentagram" 5-point shaped stars. They're fading in and out, becoming fuzzy/vague, then returning to clarity. Especially when they rotate in a circle that really gets my attention, I recognize that as a dream sign, and do a nose pinch, I can breathe, now I'm lucid. I walk up to the top of the stairs, there are people walking buy, I grab the arm of a man with a straw hat and tell him to take me to a large group of people, and I add that I know that they are nearby (so as not to waste time). I begin walking on a path to the right. An attractive young woman (short brunette hair) comes along and I reach out and give her a squeeze but don't want to get too engrossed, so I just take her right hand and turn to the right and continue walking along the path with her, happy, looking around at the detail, and the dream fades...


I then repeat this plot non-lucidly (not a pure replay the visuals are different): I find a man and task him to take me to a large group of people. I enter an auditorium [DS] from the back right (facing stage). I find a young woman and begin pulling down her pants: there is layer after layer of pants and when I think I finally have reached the last one and expect to see her [ahem], there is nothing really to see. An usher comes and shoo's us out of the auditorium out of a left-side exit. The young woman's face is very heavily made up with colorful makeup. I clean off her face and then want to sneak back in to the auditorium past a security turnstyle, hoping that we won't be recognized.

+ fire room
In a medium-sized room in a house, combined bedroom (left) living room (right). In the living room there is a fireplace with an automated fire system. I'm watching it mesmerized by its changing form and function. It has wheels and gears and metal bars/lines that move and shape change. There is fire spewing out of the open pipes. It's shaped in rectangles and a spinning circle in the middle. I think that this could be dangerous for us in the room. The fireplace changes into a flamethrower shooting a stream/column of fire into the room, sweeping the room from corner to corner, I think there's no way to escape.

SphGrv is there lying on the bed on the left side, with her brother(?). She is lying in an provocative post and I think I catch a glimpse of a portion of her [ahem]. I wonder if she would like it if I went over there and engaged with her?

Then she and others are on a central bed. There is an old fat perv guy trying to get her and the women drunk on vodka. He is pouring them huge glasses of the stuff, I can't believe the amount, it must be like 100ml or more, even for SG. SG takes the glass but does not drink, I can see she clearly does not want to. The man himself has poured and is drinking bourbon. He's encouraging her to drink. I'm talking to him, asking him about what kind of bourbon he has. He responds gruffly not wanting to share, (that it would spoil his taste?), I reply I don't want to drink it, I just wanted to know what it was. Later I get SG aside and tell her I'm really glad she avoided drinking the vodka.

+[f] Someone at my pepper! It was growing on a plant [waking life true!] I was nursing along, and someone picked it without my permission!

By the way this is my 800th DJ entry on DV!

+ escape the firestorm from CH, bank cards, passports
I'm in CH and I (hear explosions?) and I see a massive firestorm approaching up the hill towards the house. There is no time to take any belongings, I must escape immediately. I run out of the house and higher up in to the hills, hoping that the higher ground will be safe. Walking far away from CH along GPB

+ See CrLe (WFP)'s workspace with a pile of TTL chip boards

+[f] going somewhere in a large van with a group, I'm in the back seat with tons of room in front of me before the front seats

later:
+ in a group (at work? seems like a relaxed social situation), we're going out to celebrate my and (my sons? colleague?) birthday together. I'm 40 and he's 25. [Deceased] wife EW makes funny comment about what about when I'm 80?

+[f] sitting (at desk?) Indian coworker AS ("S") comes up and leans over my garbage can to my left (near my head), I think he's spitting out my gum

final:
+ sitting along the banks of a river, shallow completely transparent water [DS], some young boy is playing in the water near the shore, he's submerged and holding himself in place against the current with his hands. Then I see a sort of padded construction (like the face rest on a massage table) in front of him that I think allows him to stay in place by letting the current press his face against the pad, this frees his hands. I note my younger son S2 is sitting in the highest position on the steeply sloping bank (eating lunch?), sitting higher up than any other the other people around us. I (write?) a note on white paper and take it in to the river with older son S2, I want to show it to him, I'm closer to the center of the river than the earlier mentioned boy, and position myself alongside him, son S2 is with me and I open up the paper and I want S2 to read it.

Earlier dreams: vague, forgotten, something with my two kids in their younger years, in a place, something to do with their clothing?

next to last waking, tried a brief Raduga-style DEILD entrance disassociation, didn't work so went back to sleep with the intent to get lucid.

+ in St. house (central valley) of cousins, key moments:

my (deceased wife EW?) tells me she wants to show me something (?), if I wanted to follow and see, I say yes, I go and in the next room a guy (who lives there?) presents me with a basket of odd berries. It's a fairly large basket, the color is dark blue almost black like blueberries, and they are shaped like flat triangles or little hat shapes. Some of them are wet, and there are little berry-sized dark blue woolen caps in the basket, I notice this and mention it.

go out front door to entrance area there are two suitcases there I want to bring them in to avoid them being stolen as this covered porch area only has a flimsy screen door protecting it, and I'm wondering about crime in the St. area. It's very hot outside and I don't want to spend a long time outside so as not to let out all the cool air inside the main house from the A/C. In the background I hear the A/C running. Looking at the screen door on the main door to the house, I see it's bent in a number of places with large gaps between the screen and the door frame. It's Sunday and I think my cousin and her husband will probably be going to church, I'm not sure though, I wonder if they'll ask me to come.

inside the house I walk by a door next to a window and I see that a distant laser turret is firing at the door (part of a game I decide?). The laser blast hits the door with a weak "splat" and slightly opens the door by an inch or so. I watch through the window as a couple more laser shots arrive and hit the door. They're orange colored bolts.

I'm explaining to my hosts (young/early middle aged), a woman and man, about the game: that there's a target like a darts target (like the one there hanging on your wall over there, I point out) hanging on the inside of the door, and the turret is firing at it.

The woman is asking me about my (dream?) experiences with those older women, I "remember" them being grandmother aged and completely not a romantic interest and say so. The woman comes up to me (I'm lying on the carpet at this point) and wraps a paper darts target around my feet and binds it to me with tape. I tell her "you realize that by reinforcing my dream subjects like this [with me here being awake], it will likely promote having a lucid dream!" At this point (or just after the nose pinch) Sensei walks by and into the next room and makes a comment like "I'm not going to let positive expectation rule my life." I disagree with him, I think that's not at all what LDing is about. I decide to nose pinch since the subject of dreaming has come up an awful lot in the last few moments, and I get a very firm grasp and still a bit of air leaks, so I keep grasping harder and harder until no air moves at all. I also think that I could try levitating since my legs are bound and I'm lying on the floor.

.... Then I awake and realize I've just missed a chance for an LD!

I'm usually reaching for recall after moving and getting up while walking to the bathroom. Need to set intent and re-train to delve a bit before moving after waking.

+ [f] I'm with a group laying pipes in an underground cement service area

+ in a group of people walking around carrying little kids

+ interrupt Fr. Brown in the middle of a church service, I'm bringing terrible apocalyptic news that can't wait, both he and the parishoners attending are very upset at the interruption

+ in a group of young people in a large U-shaped rectangular padded booth. Some more adults are coming and I don't want to lose my desired spot next to the cute girls so I lunge to the seat very close to them and turn around and sit down

+ [f] something about cucumbers

Some vivid moments last night, last couple dreams especially.

earlier:

+ breaking up into teams to play water polo, views of some (men?) dressed up in women's one-piece swim suits.

+ walking through a house with a woman close to me, I'm trying to plan our path to avoid being detected by a small robot which is tracking us, woman screams "I HATE YOU" at me, I'm stunned and speechless.

mid:
+ in my sister's room in CH, holding at looking at an opened racy magazine, guy comes in I try to hide it under her bed, then move to my room and think to hide it in closet or under my bed

later:
+ my son has rented out one of my properties to a group of party-goers without my permission, I'm outraged and complain loudly to the people I find there, but in the end allow it to continue and wish them to "have a good time"

+ I'm staring in to the eyes of an attractive woman. I feel a twinge of sexual excitement, I may be able to "reach completion" just by continuing this gazing. I look closely at her features, and she is staring back at me, I realize she reminds me of somebody I know.

+ driving in a car on a disintegrating, slightly elevated sandy, narrow country road flanked by a stream on either side, my way is blocked by a huge pile of recently cut fir branches, I try to reverse/go around, the pile vanishes, I walk through a crowd of people mulling around a local dairy vendor