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Something about... a museum... or some kind of exhibit... there were menacing punk rockers... or really like a combination of that and 50s greasers...

Me being upset because they turned my sculpture into some sort of weird hanging chandelier piece and it wasn't accurate to the concept drawing at all...

Something about... I don't know, Broadway opera singers in weird pink fluffy costumes and big fake wigs floating through a giant cotton candy machine.

Then I was fighting with Mom about plane tickets, she'd bought tickets home for everyone but me...

Had a creepy dream that I was in a house in the middle of nowhere. It had belonged to long-dead relatives, one in particular a woman, who had left behind a quilt and some other odds and ends, but all were relics from the 1800s. In any case, the house had little ghost-children who wandered around outside and on the porch, even during daylight. They wanted me to come outside and play. I was understandably reluctant.

Then dreamed I was swinging, only I couldnt get the swing going, and when I did, I kept falling off.

Dream starts off with my dad and myself at a giant church which is also a busy tourist destination, though the denomination is not clear. The building is square and seems identical on each side, and it five several stories tall. The outside of the church has bricked pathways that encircle the building and each each side (compass direction) of the building is painted different bright, solid colours. I cannot remember all of them but recall that the south side of the building was painted dark blues and either dark purples or greens. The crowds are made up of many people of different backgrounds, as well as non-humans. There are alien like creature that look like they just stepped out of a science fiction film like Star Wars, while others are antropormorpic animals, dressed in human clothing. No one is bothered by the wide range of non-human creatures, as this is quite normal in this dream world and though I am not bothered by it, I do take note of it because in the dream I have never encountered non-human civilians before.

There is a a small castle or fortress to the north of the church, that is much bigger and made of plain grey bricks. The whole place is set upon a cliff and a tan brick wall keeps people from falling off the edge into a churning ocean. Between the pathways and buildings are elaborate and beautiful gardens filled with many fragrant flowers. It is forbidden by law to touch or damage the flowers and benches are provided all along the cobbled pathways so that people can sit and admire them.

Along the pathways themselves are many sculptures, both abstract and figurative, that seem to have nothing to do with religion, made in a variety of different media. My dad and I are between the north end of the church and the fortress, looking at a brown (bronze?) sculpture. My dad asks me "Do you see him?" and points up. There is a little figure of a burly, bearded man dressed as a lumber jack and carrying a large axe over his shoulder. The rest of the statue itself looks like a crude replica of the Eiffel Tower. My dad is reading a plaque on the side of the statue about what it represents. I leave him to have a quick look around and encircle the church (and thus discover its different coloured sides) before I find my dad on the east side looking at some plastic, light blue and white triangular peices that are slightly curled, that I think are supposed to represent waves of water or something.

I am feeling impatient because I want to leave the crowded pathways and look inside the church, for that is I thought we had come there for. Eventually we do made our way inside, through the south entrance (as that is the only one open, the others are sealed). The inside seems warm and inviting, everything is made of wood and it looks like a simple cottage with a long hall down the middle. To the immediate right there is a small dining room where several (Christian) nuns sit around a dining table in front of empty plates and glasses made of fine porceline. They are dressed casually (wool sweaters, cotton skirts, slippers) and their nun headresses are grey, not black. They at first ignore us and the stready flow of people coming in and out of the entrance. I notice, and point out to my dad, burning embers on the dark brown wooded floor of the dining room, which the nuns have not seen or simply ignore.

We begin to stamp the embers out, as some of them are quite large and could possibly cause a fire, and only then does one elderly nun take notice of what we are doing and joins us in our stamping. When the embers are out she provides no possible explaination of what could have caused it but takes us on a personal tour which ends at a cramped but homely kitchen at the end of the hall. Many of the rooms along the way are sealed with heavy wooden doors and I cannot see inside them, while others are open, though windowless and dark and look mearly like the inside of a chapel with rows of pews and alters filled with candles, some burning and some not. Despite this there are not religious icons or statues anywhere and the only indictation that the building is a church so far is the casually dressed nuns walking the halls.

The elderly nun (who looks like the mother from James Cameron's Titanic) takes us to the second floor which is a special priviledge that the rest of the tourists are not afforded apparently, and it is much different in style the the main floor. Monks in brown cloaks wander the halls silently and avoid making eye contact with anyone and go out of their way to walk around. The walls and floors are made of plain grey bricks and there are many twisting passageways along the hall that go either up or down, yet do not contain stairs and hare been paved smooth and flat.

I ask the nun why this is so and she merely responds that it is to accomadate the many tourists in wheelchairs or those pushing strollers. She also mentions that the basement levels can only be reached by these twisting passages. At the end of one hall there is a large bay window and to the left of that there is a large red curtain from which silent monks enter and leave. A black man with a white turban, dressed in a dark blue robe decorated with silver five pointed stars and crescent moons, stares silently out of the window with a very sad expression on his face. He glances over his shoulder briefly and makes eye contact with me, before quickly looking away and returning his sad gaze out the window. I have a strong desire to speak with him, as I sense he holds much wisdom, but I do not because he seems so sad and unapproachable.

To the right of the bay window, there are two of the twisting passages, one going up and one going down. From the windowless passage going down an eerie green glow eminates. The passage going up has a single wooden frame window with a vase of daisies and seems more welcoming.

As I sit there and contemplate which passage I would like to take, the one going up (consciousness, the easy path) or the one going down (unconsciousness, the harder path) a tour group emerges from the passage going down. It seems to be a group of children lead by a middle aged man but they are all wearing radioactive protective suits that cover there whole bodies and trudge with great weariness as if their trek has been long and arduous. The sight of them needed such protection to explore the lower realm kind of scares me into impulsively running for the passage leading up. I quickly look over my shoulder and notice that dad is gone, as is the man at the window, and the hall is empty of monks, but the nun remains and smiles warmly at me, but she says nothing. Despite her reassuring glance, I scramble up the ascending path with no thoughts or expectations in my mind, like a scared animal being chased by something unseen.

The dream changes. I am suddenly in the castle north of the church, in a grand passageway that while still twisting upwards, is decorated with artworks and elegance befitting of a royal building. It is also much wider, does not slant so steeply and is lighted by large windows bordered by elaborate tapestries. People still wander the halls, but instead of nuns and monks, are woman and men dressed richly in Renaissance fashions of courtiers and aristocrats. A few of them saunter by me and sneer as they do so. I am not dressed as finely as they and instead have on a simple brown dress with a grey undershirt and light grey apron. I have read hair and know immediately that I have transformed into my deam incarnet, Kalima. I look out one of the large windows and can see the square, multicoloured church still surrounded by gardens and sculpures, though the cobblestone pathways are empty of modern-looking tourists and filled with merchants and vendors, peasants and aristocrats, human and non-human alike, bustling around in a budy medieval townscape.

I cannot consciously recall the previous part of the dream now and though I can sense that I do not belong here, and feel out of place, the farmiliarity of everything I am seeing makes me think that I have always been here. I unconsciously grasp at something hidden underneath my collar: a small silk bag containing a polished peice of jade hangs around my neck on a thin strap of leather. I keep it hidden because I feel that if anyone saw it, they would believe that I had stolen it, as it would seem too expensive for a mere peasant as myself to own such a thing. Beyound sentimental and material value, this peice of jade is magical and allows me to see beyond the constraints of the physical world, as well as grant me some minor magical powers. Through the Jade I can see the Truth at all times, and if someone were to discover it and take it away, I fear that I would be rendered powerless and blind.

Touching the Jade, I can feel its power, which pulsates with a warm but sharp electrical current, even through the rough cotton of my shirt and the thick silk bag that contains it. It jars my consciousness and I suddenly remember what I am supposed to be doing, though the sudden awareness is fragmented: Meeting friends. Finding and freeing a captive lion. Saving a King. I cannot compel the peice of Jade which, while still apart of me, is like an entity all unto its own, to show me more and I know that it reveals only what I need to know and it is up to me to figure out the rest.

I decend the winding passageway down to the main floor of the castle and meet a group of people whom I know are my friends. We came here out of curiousity at first, to see the castle, though later for an important task revealed to me through the Jade. My friends, who are all older than me by a few years, know of my power, and trust and protect me with great care. They are all humans except for one, who is a small antropormorphic ant like creature (about two inches tall) who is very wise and acts as our teacher and guide. He usually rides on someone's shoulder, since he is much too small to keep up with us walking on his own, and he greatly fears being crushed to death by being stepped on. All of us are orphans and outcasts and we have no one else in the world save for each other.

We find a lion in a cage and release it before the guards and discover us. We make are way through the lower parts of the castle and it is confusing and maze like. We are captured by some guards and brought before the King. My peice of Jade suddenly sends me a message about the King's life being in danger. I try to tell him so but he doesn't believe me. The lion captors have some how recaptured the lion and now use it as a weapon, making the poor creature attack and kill anyone it comes across, and beating it severely if it does not comply. The captors are just outside of the throne room when a soldier comes and tells the king what is happening. He finally believes me that his life is in danger and I use my magic peice of Jade to create and illusion so that my friends, the King and I can escape. We follow a secret passage revealed by the King behind the throne and it leads to the outside of the castle, but over the ocean and we have to jump into the water.

When I get out of the water I am seperated from my friends in the crowds of people outside the castle and for some reason my peice of Jade transformed me into a lion. I am immediately captured by the cruel lion tamers, who take my peice of Jade without which I cannot revert back. The King meanwhile regroups what soldiers he has left and surrounds and captures the would be assassins. I discover that I am able to revert back to human form under my own power and so not need the Jade. My friends and I are rewarded and we are no longer poor peasants. My friends take up residence in the castle, but I feel out of place because I vaguely remember my dad looking at the art outside of the castle and I leave to "find my way back home."


The dream ends there.

Had a dream, something about needing to get away from my house ASAP because a demon had been there, we had tricked it but it was going to return once it figured ir out. I was a pre-teen and had two pre-teen/teen friends, and I think I was a guy. Anyway, we packed stuff really quickly and took off in a station wagon. We got to this city full of bright lights and decided to go into a massive toy store. It was huge, several stories tall and the walls were made of glass. We played with a lot of the toys and I found a pile of stuffed horses, each as big as myself. I spent some time hugging one of them and decided I liked them, and wanted to buy one, but I wanted to buy a stuffed unicorn and they didn't have any unicorns.

Finally, the demon caught up with us, and we had to battle it. One of my friends somehow became a party member who was a man with blond hair, in his mid-twenties, and he was one of my best allies and a good fighter. We thought we were winning, but it turned out that the thing was just toying with me - before it took off, it turned my friend into a stone statue of a gargoyle. So not only did I now lack my best party member, but he was also my friend and he was dead.

I teleported into an alternate dimension which was an island, with three stone statues that had glowing blue gems in them, and this was where I fought the demon. However, I think I may have lost. In any case, I woke up.

Oct. 15, 2008:
Dreamed that I was going to school, I think it may have been middle school. There was a flood of cats, and all of us got carried away. The culprit was a very, very large cat.

I am Rosso the Crimson and I am in some sort of army. For some reason a small group of soldiers including Shelke Rui, Vincent Valentine and I, defect and flee from the main army, which is situated in a sparse and barren, temperate forest. The rest of the soldiers in our group seem to be young adults and children.

Vincent and I have the responsibility to lead the children away from that place but our ideas and ways of doing things are often at odds and we fall into verbal conflict, though most of the time I conceed to Vincent's way of doing things. I am kind of annoyed at first, but ultimately trust that he will not lead us astray. As we leave the main camp, and out of the forest, it begins to snow and our first night is tryng to find shelter where we can sleep. There are several large gaps underneath logs or holes in the ground large enough for humans to crawl into, but Vincent says to stay away from them because dangerous wild animals, like bears and foxes, might live there.

We crest a hill and come across a children's playground where someone has thrown a blue tarp over some of the equipment, and while we could all easily fit under it, Vincent insists that we are not far enough away from the main army yet and we must continue. At this point in the dream, Vincent suddenly disappears and in his place is my brother Ryan.

We do not have to walk far to discover that we are on an island or something and must turn back. We return to the playground and I lay down on the ground to sleep, with Shelke beside me, and hope the man who I still expect to be Vincent to lay down on my other side. Instead the man lays down on the other side of Shelke and I am shocked and angry to see that it is Ryan not Vincent.

Despite being very tired I refuse to sleep and insist that Shelke switches spots with me because I am afraid that Ryan is going to sexually molest her. One of the other children soldiers cannot sleep and wanders around and finds a radio which he immediately turns on very loudly. I want the young boy to turn the radio off because I think it will give our position away but Ryan says it is fine and mocks my obvious apprehension. I convince the boy to turn the music down and everyone goes to sleep eventually, except for me.

Suddenly I sit up because I have an overwhelming urge to find Vincent, without whom I do not feel secure. I walk around the playground area and see that while it is still cold, most of the snow has disappeared. I turn off the radio as I pass it by. All of the defected soldiers except for Shelke and Ryan follow me.

One little girl freaks out because there is a tiny brown snake in the sand. I pick it up and throw it as far away as I can but quickly find another, and another and then many more. There is a reddish brown snake with a yellow rattle on its tail near the playground and the children flee because I positively identify it as a rattlesnake. Suddenly all of the snakes I can see are of the poisionous variety and as I walk back to my sleeping bag I am bitten several times, though I do not seem immediately affected by the poison, which feels hot and firely, almost electrical, coursing through my veins.

I cannot wake Shelke and since I refused to leave her there I lay back down on my roll to sleep. More and more snakes appear, each is bigger than the last and they are increasingly a variety of bright colours. Soon there are so many of them that I cannot move without touching several of them and they turn and bite me, again with that fiery, electrical feeling shooting through my body. I feel myself becoming increasingly weak and disoriented, but I do not know if it is because I am exhausted or because of the poison.

I sit up and notice that Shelke and Ryan are gone. Still hoping for Vincent to return I cry out to him to save me. When Ryan appears instead I am very upset, still wanting/expecting Vincent, and fall silent in anger and frustration. I sit crosslegged and completely still and the hundreds of snakes surround me and almost bury me in their mass and I find that I would rather be crushed or poisioned to death (though at this point I notice they have stopped biting me) by the snakes than to have Ryan come near me or save me, the very thought of which makes me feel sick.

The last image of the dream is looking at the mass of snakes in my lap and taking note of a rather large, bright red one with intricate oriental inspired patterns down its back that are coloured a bright yellow or gold.

Dreamed about students at a graduation, but not a run of the mill one. This one was in the woods, for some reason. There were two teachers - an older man, and a younger man who looked kinda like that one-eyed dude from "Sparta". Anyway, both were wearing heavy cloaks. It was very, very early, so it was very misty. Another student approached them, who'd be in their class next year, and wanted to discuss what they thought of her poetry, but their answer was that "not until you rise to study with the morning mists, when the world is white ,will you be a poet". She left, upset and angry.


Dream cut to the student shivering and alone way out in the woods very early in the morning, the morning fog was pretty solid, so it looked like the trees were rising out of a sea of white. She was kneeling and trying to recite poetry. At one point, she managed to avoid a poisonous snake, although she had no idea. Finally, she wasn't able to deal with the cold any more, so she tried to lie down in some very tall grass to sleep, only to land next to the snake, which bit her in the neck. This caused a series of hallucinations, where she blacked out.


However, at some point, she had a revelation when the sight of a black wolf caused her to realize that the memory of the snake biting and poisoning her was false - there had never been a snake at all. The second teacher had attacked her in the woods and cast a spell on her.


There was then something about beaches, and the sea, and the dream shifted. It was the same character, but she was playing PS3. The house they were all in was like my aunt's old house on Day Ave. Her uncle complained that she hadn't produced any artwork and was irritated by this shortcoming, which she would not explain. At some point, we all went out on the screened patio to look at some seeds we had planted but never watered, only to find that it had been so humid that water was condensing and nourishing the plants anyway, which had grown and were getting ready to flower.

This is the second dream I had on October 7th, 2008.


It is sometime in future. Starts off with young students excavating remains of ancient school and many small bones of children are found. The remains of only one adult is found and not only is the body completely intact, but it is Vincent Valentine. He wakes up with little prodding and flies outside where he tries to jump straight up a very tall brick wall (or side of building) to escape the curiousty of the children, (and his own confusion at where he is).

He is able to jump dozens of feet in the air but despite several attempts he falls just short of reaching the top. Exausted he collapses in a pool of blood which has formed below him. He wakes up in a vat of thick milky/clear liquid in a futuristic looking room. The group of children who initially discovered him surround the vat and stare intently. Vincent is uncomfortable because he is still confused about what is going on and also completely naked and his golden claw is gone.

He tries to escape using speed and agility, and finds that he can partially air- and water- bend, which is useful when demons show up and try to capture him. He also discovers that he can temporarily make himself invisible as well as strong enough to smash through concrete and tear through metal. Somewhere along the way he acquires a pair of black pants which he aquires from a particularily difficult red and black horned demon after he defeats it.

Vincent escapes but ends up in a room filled with creatures that are half demonic and half machine. He cannot hide through invisibility from them but they also do not attack. It is like a giant business office but disorganized and hellish, and covering everything are tiny multicoloured entities called nanoites that are the workhorse of this operation. They outnumber the robodemons but are enslaved to them and at first seem non-sentient and complacent.

A few robodemons are just chillin' and ask say Vincent his name, and ask that he be inspected/processed by some nanos. He doesn't tell them his real name and instead tells them that his name is "Chaos," which impresses the robodemons. Millions of tiny nanos inspect his body and report that he is an advanced machine. Vincent is confused, but says nothing. At this point Vincent notices that on the wrist of his left arm is a tattoo with multipul triangles and/or a diamond shape. As the nanos run over his body his mind briefly connects with their collective consciousness and for the first time he realizes that they are a sentient entity entirely on their own.

Being briefly connected with the nanos Vincent sees the fabric of existence that makes up this future and sees a gargantuan machine creature that asserts and protects the robodemon's domination of the world by devouring anything the robodemons comand it to. Its body capacity is unaffected by normal physics and it can go between physical reality (consciousness) and digital reality (unconsciousness) at will. While the nanos exist within most things in this world, they cannot overcome such a formitable foe and are thus forced into servitude by those that command the digital beast.

In the same futuristic demonic office Vincent meets some fellow organic humans (slaves to the robodemons) and complains about the lack of shoes (he keeps stepping on tiny nanoites that look like humans) and the robodemons agree to let a few of their human slaves take Vincent into the human world to buy some footwear. There are three burly looking men covered in scars and tattoos and two women. One is a platnium blond who eyes Vincent suspiciously and the other is a pretty and thin brunette woman who attaches herself to Vincent's arm and leads him down and out of the robodemon's futuristic world.

While the buildings and things in the robodemon's world are advanced technologically, most of the human settlements and technologies are primitive and many of the objects that people use and wear were dug up in excavations of the "old world," which the pretty brunette explains was the time before "the Reckoning" when most of the world was organic, before the robodemons appeared and enslaved the organic world to their futuristic technologies. One of the men mention something about it being 1.5 million years since that time but Vincent has trouble believing that he has slept for that long and the the world he once knew and the people in it are completely gone.

The shoes that he is shown are silly and retro, one pair being ridiculously oversized. He finds a decent pair of black leather boots which he is given for free because the human slaves believe he is a robodemon and regard him with great fear induced respect.

At some point the platnum blond talks to Vincent and reveals that her name is Lucretia. Vincent is shocked but she explains that she was named after St. Lucretia, the Lady of the Crystal, who is secretly a hero for the humans because she fought valiantly against the robodemons and allowed some humans to initially fight back and remain free from the demons for a time. There was a religion centered around St. Lucretia but the robodemons stamp out any external signs of it and thus the reverence for her sacrifice are often carried out in secret. It brings Vincent much peace to know that his former lover ended her life in an act of bravery and not suffering.

The blond Lucretia eventually reveals that she wants a perfect and immortal machine body like the robodemons and that it is she who has been betraying the hidden settlements of rebel humans to the technological oppressors. In exchange she has been promised a machine body for her loyalty. Vincent is infuriated not only at the desecration of his former love's name, but also when the blond tries to kill the brunette, with whom he was starting to develop feelings for. They fight and though the details are fuzzy, the blond dies, not by Vincent's hand, but because she is betrayed by the robodemons, who mock her inferior organic body to her death. Vincent now knows that his awakening and is new powers are needed. He makes it his goal to defeat the robodemons and free the organic world from their technological oppression.

He rallies the organic humans to fight and distract the robodemons while he forces his way into their central stronghold. Vincent starts battling the giant digital monster that allows the robodemons to control the world. Between Vincent's new god-like powers, and the giant digital monster's devouring of the physical and etheral deimensions, holes are ripped open through space and time. Vincent uses his powers to blast parts of the creature (and the essence that it is feeding on/being powered by) to bits.

Through his physical body does not change, Vincent can feel the entity Chaos, the harbinger of doom of the old world, working through him once again. After a long and epic battle, which lays waste to most of the world, he defeats the demon, then destroys the robodemon's strongholds on the world and thus frees the nanoites and remaining humans alike.

The collective consciousness of the nanoites explain that his purely organic yet immortal body was necessary to fight the robodemons since there are no nanoites in his body for them to control, (since all of the other "organics" of the world, plant or animal, have nanoites embedded in their genetic make up). Now that the oppressors were gone the organic world could flourish again since the nanoites could not grow or reproduce themselves and relied on their organic hosts to do that for them. In return the nanoites gather memories and feelings of the lives experienced by the individual organic humans and add that knowledge to their collective consciousness. There would be a balance between organic and technological, with not one being better or dominant over the other, but working together to create and sustain life in perfect harmony.

After telling Vincent what became of his friends in the world he once knew in the past (and revealing that his new brunette lover is actually the reincarnation of Rosso the Crimson) the nanoites offer to release his consciousness to the lifestream, or allow him to live on in this new world, where his immense god like powers will remain intact. Vincent chooses to live in the new world and while uncomfortable with the new religion which has begun centered around him by the greatful humans, he looks forward to watching, with the reincarnated Rosso and new human friends, the newly freed technorganic world recover and develop.


Whoa, dude! I think I've been playing way too much Dirge of Cerberus!

I had two dreams on October 7th, 2008. This is the first one, but it is fragmented.


I am in my own apartment and it is a Victorian style building. I am smoking pot and trying to avoid detection from a police officer who is across the street. I start Spongebob Squarepants and forget about the police.

Grandma is living with me, but she is senile and it is easy to trick her into giving me twenty dollar bills all the time. There is an entity living in an alarm clock but it has satalite capabilities and lots of wires and connectors coming out of it. I frequently have deep intellectual conversations with this alarm clock. There are other people/entities moving around the house but they are vague and hard to define, like ghosts.

The dream changes and I am in a school that is half destroyed and students rioting. I meet an intriguing young man who is interested in UFC and later he starts a UFC fight club in the basement of the school which has somehow merged with the basement of grandma's place.

That's all I remember from this dream.

Morning of September 28, 2008. Sunday.



I am back in one of my old apartments at the King Street boarding house, this one being the larger middle room on the eastern side of the hall (on the second floor). I am involved in some sort of unusual semi-lucid “ride” which takes up much of the central area of my room, which is being in the second train-car of a small black train, which at one point is more like being inside a larger solid box that tips and moves - and with me being unsure of my destination - there is a very vague awareness (but not a fear or stronger concern) that it is coffin-like. At one point, the miniature train (about the size of one at a park for children) moves out beyond the east wall, seemingly out into the night or very early morning, yet not falling. At one point, there does not even seem to be a wall. There is a vague awareness of how the little black train is “death” in reference to the Woody Guthrie song which I had listened to a lot in the recent past. However, the unusual orientation does not seem that eerie or ominous in-dream. It does seem unusually familiar at one point. There is no one else in the dream. The movement of my train seems automatic.

---

On one level, this is probably just a metaphor for the dreaming and waking process itself as many dream events are in addition to just being a song association.

(There is a "trigger warning" on the content of this dream.)

It is the mid or late eighteen hundreds. I live on the edge of a crowded city in grey brick house at the end of an small street or alleyway where there is a laundry pool, beyond which is a forest. In the dream I am an only child and live with my mother and a few of her friends. We are not wealthy but have enough to live comfortably.

There are several men courting me. The first man is someone I have never met, which was set up by my mother and her friends. I am not comfortable with the arrangement, even though he is an established doctor, because I will not be able to meet him until the wedding. I know nothing of what he is like, let alone what he looks like. I have not said no to the proposal, but I have not said yes either, and I try to stall my answer as long as possible. The second man is homeless and in rags with scraggly hair and beard and unkept hair, but I talk with him by the laundry pool and he is very kind. Everyone opposes interaction with him and "polite society" all but shuns him.

The third man appears on day when I am in the forest on the otherside of the laundry pool, sitting on a tree stump, reading my tarot cards. He comes and sits on a tree stump behind me and strikes up a conversation. He is handsome though I thought he had a kind of shifty look to him. The man's manner of speaking is very well, he is suave and magnetic and I find myself beoming drawn to him. While we are sitting and talking I pull either the Six of Cups or Six of Swords from my tarot deck (I cannot remember which) and say that is the card which represents him. The man scoffs dismissively, not believing in such trivalities as tarot cards, but also not disturbed that I do.

The man asks me to marry him and I say yes. I take him home to meet my mother, who is not enthralled at first but is quickly charmed by my new fiance. There is something about him that makes me uneasy, but I figure that I can't do much better with anyone else so I ignore my nagging doubts. He is eager to move in with mother and I. He has little in the way of worly possessions and it is clear to me from the onset that he is the one to benefit from this union financially much more than I. I am overcome with the dreadful thought that he is interested in me only for my money.

A week passes and the day of the wedding comes and takes place in a clearing in the forest beyond the laundry pool. The other residents of our household vacate for the night so that my new husband and I will have the place to ourselves. Almost immediately he takes me into his room and strips off my wedding dress. I am afraid and trembling because I have no idea what is about to happen. He roughly pushes me onto the bed and climbs on top of me, not bothering to remove any of this clothes, not even his shoes. He begins having sex with me but I am uncomfortable and in pain but he ignores my protests and continues until he is completely spent. As soon as he is done he climbs off of me, pulls up his pants and demands that I return to my own room. His tone is cold and flat and he does not even look at me as I leave his room, very unlike the warm, magnetic man who initially drew me in.

I am in my room on the second floor of the house, laying on the bed and looking up at a dream catcher in the window that is made with pink beads and white feathers onto which I have apparently stuck a tarot card. I cannot identify the card but I stare at it for a while. I don't know how much time passes but my feelings of being used and violated prevent me from falling asleep. I am just drifting off to sleep when I hear a door slam downstairs. Putting on a robe and going downstairs I find all of my valuables gone. I rush to the window and see my husband climbing into a horse-drawn wagon which has all of my possessions in the back. He sees my shocked and horrified face in the window and arrogantly laughs and waves as he drives away. His mocking is the last I can bear it and I collapse to the floor admist tears and despair.

My mother and her friends return and learned what happened and we are all infuriated but can do nothing, since we do not know where my husband has gone and cannot do anything anyway, since all of my worldly possessions become the property of the man upon marriage (an actual 19th century law). To avoid utter poverty I am now forced to accept the first man my mother arranged for me, the established doctor who I have not yet met. It turns out that he is more than twice my age and has children from a previous marriage, some of whom are actually older than I. We do not tell him that I was just married and robbed of all my possessions.

The marriage date is set and while everyone else scurries around making preperations or caught up in the excitement of the coming union, I feel shamed, betrayed and depressed. I resolve to drown myself in the laundry pool so one morning I sneak out of the house just after dawn. I am surprised to discover some of my stolen possessions sitting on a wooden deck next to the laundry pool. The objects where peices of pottery and soapstone carvings, some of which I have actually made in in real life, though in the dream I merely recognized them as possessions and not peices of art that I made. One particular peice that stood out was a small White Tara carved in soapstone and placed on a tree stump in the middle of the laundry pool. There were also some roughly carved faces and my pack of tarot cards wrapped in green silk.

My mother comes up behind me as I am looking at these things and is just as perplexed as I as to why some of my things have been returned. I tell her that I believe that my con-man first husband is mocking me from afar and only returned the things that he could not sell and would thus be worthless to him. I also believe though that it is an ironic twist of fate that the things he considered worthless are the things most treasured by me because of their sentimental value. The dream ends there.

This is the second dream I had on September 25th, 2008.


I am floating above a large inland sea surrounded by high cliffs and thick forests. There is a long winding railroad track that runs along the circumferance of the sea by I do not know if it is used because some parts of it dip down and are sumberged. There are two islands near the center of the sea where tiny humans live. Or at least they seem tiny compared to me and everything appears in minature. I am invisible and no one can see me. There are two groups of people that identify themselves by colour; the red people on the eastern island and the blue people on the westen island. The people have different cultures and beliefs and though they have everything to survive independantly of each other, they constantly war with each other because of their differing spiritual beliefs or something.

I suddenly find myself at the same scale as everything else and walking along the train tracks along the northern edge of the sea. After a while the track dips down into the water and heads towards the center of the sea. I keep walking and find that I can continue walking along the track without drowning or becoming bouyant. I follow the track down to the center where a submerged but seemingly abandoned city exists. Some of the buildings look modern, even futuristic, while others are made of a slightly glowing coral. There are many colourful lights around the city and they illuminate a giant bearded merman sleeping in the very center. He looks a lot like the classical sea god image but he makes me think of the father from Disney's The Little Mermaid, King Triton. There is a mighty golden trident at his side which is almost as large as he.

The is suddenly a great deal of tension coming from up above and I can sense this telepathically. The energy of the tension is so strong that it wakes the giant Sea King, who sighs wearily. He sits up and grabs me with his massive right hand (though very gently, and I know somehow that he isn't going to hurt me) and grabs his trident with his left hand before surfacing quite rapidly. On the surface nighttime has come and the Sea King and I can see that the two islands of people have amassed great armies on their respective islands, seemingly to destroy the other once and for all. The giant merman quietly tells me that he is the god of these people and protects them, and that they fight each other because each believes that they are more favoured by the god over the other, which they believe makes them superior and that the 'lesser' island should submit. Thus the fighting never stops.

The Sea King tells me he is tired of the fighting because he cares for the red and blue people equally and though he wishes neither any harm he is considering letting them destroy each other so that the constant warring will finally stop. He places me on a giant clam shell and sends me towards the islands, to warn the warring sides of the god's growing apathy. I am visible again and I talk first to the red people but most ignore me while others threaten me. I then go over the the western island where the blue people live. They are suspicious because they saw me come from their enemy's island, but are more willing to listen to my warning. In the end though, the blue people say they will still fight, partly because they know the red army is going to attack anyway.

I return to the Sea King and tell him what happened at which point he becomes very angry. He swims between the two islands and raises himself up out of the water as far as he can and towers over the tiny islands, whose people cover is fear. The Sea King declares loudly that neither island is favoured over the other, that they are both equal and that the fighting has to stop. He also says that their unique and seperate cultures should be celebrated as complements to each other, not as opposites.

The red army suddenly lunges forward and makes its way over to the blue island. They continue from their little boats and charge forward as if to attack. They reach the blue army and it looks as if the two sides are going to violently clash with each other, but instead the armies merge and walk through each other as if they were transparent. As this happens the blue and red peoples become different shades of purple. The armies and people mingle together and laugh and hug and dance. There is a drunken reverie to celebrate their coming together as the Sea King returns to his place at the bottom of the sea and goes back to sleep. I watch the partying from afar, feeling like an outsider and do not participate in the celebration because I seem to have become invisible again. My last feelings in this dream were of isolation and loneliness, then I woke up.

This is the first dream I had on September 25th, 2008


The dream takes place on a fabulously luxious cruise ship, like the Titanic, but more modern. The ship is sailing on a narrow ocean channel that has tall cliffs on either side. I am my dream incarnate Chun-li, a young Chinese woman. I have a young girl with me named Sari (who looks kind of like Sari Sumdak) and in the dream she is my daughter. I have the gift of forsight and know that the cruise ship is going to sink for some reason. I am there to try and prevent the tragedy, I think.

I have to stay on the upper decks of the ship (which also happens to be the upper class section) to avoid running into a previous incarnation of myself who is running around the lower class part of the ship. The rich and the poor are divided on this ship like they were on the Titanic, the poor being restricted to the lower decks. There are always parties going on in the upper class as the vain, rich and influencial show off to, and consort with, each other.

To pass the time Sari is practicing for a French play being put on by the children of the wealthy passengers, so that she is occupied while I look for something (though I cannot remember what now. Something to do with preventing the ship from sinking anyway). As I walk around the ship I note that most of the upper class lounges and dining halls are void of any furniture, or have only a few chairs scattered about. These rooms have massive, enlongated vertical windows with long, flowing translucient sheers. The proportions of the windows were impossible because they were radically larger when seen on the inside of the ship, than from the outside.

The passengers in the upper class all dressed stylishly and expensively. Gold, silks, and jewels were everywhere. I was dressed nice but not as elaborate and I did not have any jewelry. All of the women passengers have skirts but I am wearing pants and for some reason that makes the upper class passengers not want to engage with me, even outright avoid me, which is fine for me because I'm still looking for that something.

The dream skips a bit and it is the next day (or a few days later) and somehow I got Sari off the cruise ship during one of the nights. When I become conscious of this is the dream I am suddenly in the channel underneath the ship and looking up. An Orca swims above me at the same time as the ship passes overhead. This killer whale is the same as any other except that it has a patch of black on its underside on which I can see unique symbols that are glowing white, but I do not know what they mean.

The night of the sinking comes and I am looking for a way out because there are suddenly no doors from the upper class rooms to the outside deck. The only way out is the climb the curtains of the vertically massive windows to a small opening at the top. (The windows on the outside now match the extremely enlongated proportions on the inside.) I struggle for a bit up a curtain and make it outside, though the ship develops a terrible lean as it goes down, and the part of the deck I was trying to reach is half underwater. There are no ropes or cables to climb down so jumping is the only way to the water, but the distance from me to the water is too much and I am too scared. Most of the people in the first class section of the ship are unable to climb the curtains because they are too physically weak or are weighted down by their extravagant outfits and jewelry.

I wait for the ship to sink a little more, so that the distance between me and the water is not so great, before I jump. I feared the water would be ice cold and though it was not for some reason I am paralyzed when I hit the water and sink as slowly as the ship. I am conscious and I do not drown, but I cannot move any part of my body. When I am at the bottom of the ocean channel a large white whale (a sperm whale?) swims over me and when I look up at it I can see the same symbols on the white whale's belly that were on the Orca's, but these symbols are black.

This technically isn't my first memory, but it was the first memory that I remembered. For whatever reason, my memories happened out of order. My actual first memory was the Christmas party of 2006.

I remember being on a car trip with my mom. After that happened, I saw me and my mom in my house in the doorway to the kitchen. I was depicted as a generic baby. You know, the kind that has one hair on it's head, one tooth, and a generic blue one piece pajama outfit. My mom said something to my grandma, and then my grandma replied with something. I then woke up to my grandma telling me about how awesome I am.

I can only remember this dream in fragments.

- A male co-worker and I are running around a warhouse complex trying to avoid being seen. The ocean side city we are in has been invaded by large transforming robots and most of the people who live their have been killed or have fled.

- a robot shaped like a white stretch hummer hunts me, but I do not know why, though it is continualy foiled by a robot shaped like a red transport truck cab. I can usually escape because the two giant machines are too busy fighting each other.

- I try to get the attention of a group of police officers or evacuation officials but ay first they do not see me. When they finally do they make a big ruckus and attract the attention of some jet shaped robots who then annihilate the officers. I go back into hiding.

- a female friend of mine has replaced the male co-worker but she runs around in a panic and is almost captured several times.

- group of surviviors or people left behind in the city gather underneath a bridge and plot against the invading robots. At some point it is determined that I have gained telekenetic powers (and that is what the white hummer is after me for) and it is decided that it is up to me to defend what left of the city people from invaders.

- The group of survivors lay low for a while and most of the invading robots leave the city, with only a few patrolling overhead as aircraft every now and then.

- At a nearby beach a group of fellow human survivors have banded together and formed a milita. Their clothing and weapons are of a mixture of thai and mongol influence. They decide to march on what is left of our city with the intention of taking over. Despite their dispay of bravado I make short work of them with my psychic powers and lift the soldiers and their large banners into the air like toys. They wisely retreat.

- I feel bad about hurting some of the sodiers and send them peace offerings and they join us in our struggle against the robotic oppressors but I cannot remember if they agreed before the dream ended.