Recent DJ Posts

Pulling trees out of the ground, I magically turn them into boards and make a huge pile of them several hundred feet behind me. I plan to build a bunch of things, so I need lots of them. Still leaving some trees in the forest, I quickly gather more than I need just in case I get carried away with construction. Just moving my awareness around, I don't have a visible body, but still manage to physically interact with the world, and rip trees out of the ground just fine. It's easy to float to and fro as I do this.

Okay, this is my first time posting here so bare with me thank you n_n

I'd like to say that I've had this nightmare every day for over ten years, always the same, nothing ever changing.

In my dream I'm running down a long white hallway with many doors, none are open. As I run I cast a glance back over my shoulder I notice a massive black shadow shaped like a man. He makes no noise, there are no footsteps he just silently pursues me through the hall. I run faster and slam against a door, fumbling I manage to open it and stumble onto a black metal platform.

I'm outside, the sky is a sickly grey and I'm atleast 50 stories up. The metal platform leads to a old metal spiraling fire escape. I run down, no noise still nothing the just a blistering silence the man pursuing me the whole way down. Once at the bottom I find myself standing on smooth small white pebbles. I pause and look up to see the man still coming. I run again, there is no stopping or pausing. I run aimlessly until I come to a hedge maze. The hedges were black and only came up to my chest.

I weave my way through hitting deadends at almost every turn my panic increases. The maze let out at a a steep ledge with a forest lining it. I run along the ledge and slip sliding down. I slide for what seems like hours until I land in dirt and leafs. I look up to see the looming man moving towards me. Stumbling I get up and run again, branches hitting me as I move.

I run aimlessly til I come to a white stone wall, I climb up and jump inside. It was a small fully enclosed courtyard. With broken white and grey statues everywhere. I'm trapped, I run towards a pond that was enclosed with a black iron fence warped and broken. I lose my footing in the water and fall. Disoriented I get up and turn only to be grabbed by the man and lifted out of the water by my neck.

I always wake up screaming at this point, my body is hurt and sometimes I wake up with bruises and marks. Might I mention that this dream is in complete black and white. I don't know what to do...It gets hard to sleep because every time I do...all I dream about is this dream nothing more.

WAKING LIFE DREAMING LUCID UNDERLINED IF IT FEELS PARTICULARLY SIGNIFICANT

Spoiler for Past Related Dreams and History:

History

A new experience dreaming the other night. It gave me hope even though I woke in fear. It also prompted me to get off my butt and finally join a forum that discusses such things. First, a little history.

In the past I’ve had a reoccurring dream of family members and others trying to kill me. One repeated every year it seemed, starting at the age of about 8 and ending (at least consciously) around 18. In this dream a calm and intense voice announced to me that my family was turning into monsters. I ran from them. My father chased me (the chase scenes varied significantly, thought it seems that they were always outside of my grandmother’s house, where the dream started). Sometimes I got away, sometimes I fell, and there was one time I thought I experienced death before I woke up. The dreams filled me with terror.

Other similar dreams have often occurred, the main theme being that someone is stalking me and I am aware that they wanted to kill me. Sometimes I’d confront them. Most times it would be an endless hiding and running deep fear experience. Sometimes it was a combination of both. I’ve experienced other variations of this type of terror dream, often including sharks (in college), tornadoes, and tidal waves.
Usually when I wake the consuming fear and sadness and loneliness from these dreams is so very present, infusing me to some extent throughout the day no matter how much I process and release it. It can be exhausting. Ok, pretty much done with the history.


Recent History

A couple nights ago a terror dream was different than other experiences. I haven’t been remembering my dreams as often in the recent past (I started to type recent future, lol). I had meditated right before sleeping with binaural audio that also incorporates other meditation-inducing aspects. It was a pretty deep meditation and a lot more emotional pain than usual came up, but I was largely able to hold the discomfort in a larger awareness and release happened as well. I fell asleep.

Nightmare with Lucid Meditation

The terror dream was a series of people trying to kill me. Each chapter seemed to occur in my current home or a similar one.

One instance was a psychological death of sorts, where someone wanted me to admit something I’d done that hurt them but I knew that if they knew it would hurt them more than if I didn’t tell them. I felt ashamed. As they tried to dig it out of me tears ran down my face and I avoided looking into their eyes. I think I explained to them at one point that I couldn’t tell them or they would be more hurt. I was conflicted and I’m not sure I held my ground (I think the dream changed at that point).

The dream continued, one person trying to kill me, the dream morphing, then another person trying to kill me, and so on. They were sneaky, some trying to lull me into feeling comfortable with them. It didn’t work. I knew. I resisted. After a few chapters in the dream, I became aware that I was dreaming. In this lucid state I tried different tactics.

1. Dream Control

I tried what I now know to be called dream control. Tried to turn my stalker away, tried to make them friendly, tried to make it not be about being stalked. That wasn’t as “successful” as the tactic has been in other lucid dreams I've had.

2. Wake

I tried to wake myself. In the dream I had access to my real memories: I recalled that I’d woken myself from a nightmare as a young child, maybe 5 years old, after frantically trying to wake in the dream and having no success. This is how I remember it. I became aware of my physical body in my bed. I tried to open my eyes. Felt my eyebrows raising, my lids stretching, but they stayed together. I tried to move my arms. They were heavy, they wouldn’t move. Then my shoulders responded. Finally my arms moved. I reached up and opened my eyes with my hands and woke like that…my fingers on my eyelids, having pulled them apart manually.

Remembering the success of this childhood experience, I attempted this tactic in my dream last night while lucid. It failed. Throughout using these wake-myself-up-please tactics,

I would think I had awakened only to find out I was still in the dream. I became identified with the dream and then lucid and aware I was dreaming (usually because I had a new stalker or less often because something else wouldn't be the same as in my home) again over and over after each failed attempt.

First I tried to wake myself by simply willing it, then throwing a large amount of the energy of my desire to wake into it.

Then I tried to feel my body in my bed, to establish a connection like I thought I had in childhood. It seemed that I could feel my body and that I woke. This was the first time I thought I'd woken up but after I “woke” myself I soon discovered I was being stalked again and had not escaped the dream.

Then I tried to not only feel my body but to move my body, however, I found I wasn’t very coordinated and I was flailing. I became afraid of hurting myself or spilling my water on my nightstand, etc.

The cycle of thinking I had awoken and then realizing I was still in the dream (I think called false awakenings?) came full circle at least 3 times, though in my not completely clear recollection it feels like it was more like 4 to 6 times.

3. Lucid Meditation

At one point I tried to meditate in the dream, hold the dream and the fear of the dream in the arms of my awareness so that I wasn’t so self-identified with it and terrified. This was the new accomplishment. A big one. I don’t think it lasted long, maybe a couple minutes.

I’ve been in different meditative states in many dreams, but this one was intentionally, lucidly, induced. Even though it was a meditation initially infused with the desire to escape from the emotions, I'm still goanna break out with a yay! I came to a place where I wasn’t hiding or trying to wake up. I was confronting in an accepting way while still trying to protect myself.

The meditation did not relieve the fear but I felt more me, more whole. At first the fear was very present and perhaps more so. It seems that the fear ebbed to some degree after a time. I remember looking down on my body during the meditation. The dream also may have gone to black and white during the meditation and got a static quality to it, like white noise. I don't remember ever dreaming in black and white, though now that I look back I don't recall any color in the dream at any point. I am skeptical of it not being in color, however, because now it is days since the dream occurred and I only remember snippets. After the short meditation is when I fuzzily think I woke.

I don't remember the sequence of the following parts of the dream. I'm about 90% sure I wasn’t lucid at the time:

I felt physical pain when one stalker was biting my lips. The physical pain felt so…well…physical. It hurt in a sharp way, just as if my dream body was a physical one. That realization is unsettling and also wondrous. Now I realize that both of the times I have been aware of physical pain in dreams was when I was being bitten. Both dreams were at some point lucid dreams, but not lucid at the time that I was being bitten. The other time was a dog biting my fingertips. Now I’m interested in this…why biting? Perhaps this similarity is connected to a pattern, perhaps not. Worth keeping an eye on it and a thought hanging around.

I tried to manipulate the people out of trying to kill me. I plotted quickly as they advanced. One of the people I offered myself to sexually to try to avoid being killed, to distract him. It worked. It was boring and rather ineffectual sex and I ended up feeling frustrated because I wanted more pleasure, even though I was creeped out and scared.

Well, that was long. I doubt I'll want to use the energy to write so much in the future (or try to refine the clarity of my writing so much, gah), but this dream absolutely fascinated me and I felt reconnected to past dreaming experiences after dry spells and inattention. It woke the inspiration.

I think a big part of why it waned was nobody I shared these types of dreams with had similar experiences or seemed to want to dive in. But after reading some of the forum, wow, some of you not only have had similar but extensive experiences. Thanks for reading, I'm interested in learning from others on this site if you want to respond! That said, I also have a very skeptical side and enjoy critical and insightful discussion, though it is tempered by many other sides.

So in this dream, like many other dreams i have had, i tried to get in the abandoned mall in Green bay. me and my girlfriend Christie were walking around to every door trying to see if it was open. because my brother told me one time he got into the mall cuz adoor was open in one of the stores. so we tried to find that door but couldn't. but even at one poitn we were in the mall but were still trying to get in. weird i know. We then were going to walk around the outside of the mall around the block to enter int o a store on the other side and when we got to the other side, it was a street full of stores. we entered into an antique store and i remember specifically looking at a tv of a show that looked like little house on the prarie and i pushed a button to make it black and white. so i could watch it like an old show in black and white. it first turned some weird colors then finally turned black and white.

I believe The show on the tv was little house or something because my girlfriend the day before had asked me if some woman on tv was from little house