Recent DJ Posts

Preface:
Bed at 11pm. Lots of physical activity to release stress, so my body is sore. Recall of morning dreams are better.
Lots of detoxing and re-organizing going on in my life! Lately, I have been trying to rid my life of negative thinking. Most importantly, this has included removing myself from some of my social circles and false friendships, as I found the individuals to be emotionally and spiritually harmful. I realize that many times, my friends didn't mean to be so toxic, but I have a very high EI, and I'm very sensitive, so it affects me deeply in very different ways. Being around negative people is extremely spiritually exhausting. I need to be around friends who have a genuine interest in my well being and who have the same interest in nurturing the friendship as I do. I don't have many friends, but some of the few I have need to be kept at "arms length"; others have to be let go completely. As a result, I have been spending time with my really close friends and trying to build on the relationships that are most meaningful in my life. I am very excited about this time in my life, as I feel the negative energy is finally being cleared from my path.

DR1

I received a call from a friend in Dallas, telling me that she was coming to visit for the weekend. My mom and I begin an organization project. We are in a huge room, which is apparently my closet. There are racks of clothes neatly organized, but I still have more apparel to put in order. I begin to complain that I have no space. All of a sudden, my mom moves a rack of clothes and reveals tons of unused shelf space. "You have plenty of room", she says. I am excited and begin to use the space. I have conversations with my mom about clothes and I even have the nerve to say I really don't have anything to wear. She laughs, of course.

After cleaning, I am with my two small nieces outside. We live in a house with a doorway that faces a busy street. There is a bus stop on that busy street, half a block from our house. We do not have a front lawn at all. Instead, we have a sort of pavement space. It almost feels like we are living inside of a storefront. Anyway, I am sitting on the ground with my two nieces and we are putting together a puzzle. This is a beautiful puzzle, of a view of buildings. The puzzle pieces are huge, maybe the size of small postcards. However the puzzle itself is pretty big, so its taking awhile and the sidewalk is full of them. There is one part in particular that I want to put together- a gorgeous periwinkle blue building. I am so happy while putting it together and I'm really feeling great. The kids help, and at some point my sister joins us. I start to grab all of the pieces for the framework. The kids get bored and go inside. My sister is helping but she's working on another area, and we're making small talk.

Then, a small boy gets off a city bus not too far away from us. He looks homeless. He's kind of dirty and wearing tattered clothes. He sits down next to me and watches me put the puzzle together. I let him sit there, because I figure he's harmless. He starts to ask questions and talk a lot. At first I am not really paying attention, but then his voice starts to get deeper. My sister notices the boy and becomes uninterested in the puzzle. She goes away (inside our home?). I am a little confused by the boy's presence and exactly what he wants. I don't ask him anything, and it feels hella uncomfortable, but I let him go on sitting there and talking. I get about 4 pieces of the part I really like, so that I can completely see the building. I turn to look at the boy, and I get freaked out because he has turned into a homeless man, sitting there watching me put together this puzzle.

At this point, I become a third person in the dream, and I can see myself sitting on the ground with the puzzle, and I can also see the man not far away. He is still seated, but he has moved closer to me. He has this sore on the inside of his bottom lip; I can see it when he talks. He looks completely neglected. I can see my expression and feel it at the same time..I am weirded out but I try not act weird because I don't want to disrespect him. He starts talking about random things, I am not really sure about what- his problems...I don't know, he's rambling. I am wary of him. I watch myself stand up and move away from him. I appear grossed out. I also go away (inside our home?).

Side Notes:
Experienced memorable, blissful feelings while piecing together the part of the puzzle with the pretty, blue building.
Experienced fear and disgust upon infringement of a stranger.
News of my friend in Dallas is odd. Will have to check on her.

My memory of how this began is kind of sketchy now:
I'm working on a class project with 2 other students. One of them, a girl, gets mad at me for some reason - unjustifiably as I recall. Since I can't stand to be on bad terms with someone IWL, naturally in my dream I seek out this girl later on to straighten things out.

The following I remember vividly:
I'm alone in a house at night. I'm possibly in that girl's house trying to find her. I walk past French double doors that are wide open; beyond them is a dimly lit back patio. There's a homeless-looking man sitting on a covered porch swing outside, and he's glaring at me. Part of his clothing is green, and he has a bushy beard. He looks threatening, he's not supposed to be there, and the doors are open - so now I'm scared. He's watching me, so as quickly as possible, I shut the right side of the double doors, and just as I try to shut the left side, he lunges at me. Holy crap!! I try to shout for help, but I find my throat severely congested and I can barely make a sound. He comes at me reaching with one arm, menacingly. Desperately, I reach out to grab his hand in an effort to stop him from grabbing me... and I wake up in bed, actually grabbing at thin air!

I've added this to my mental list of nightmares to revisit in future lucid dreams. Nothing against homeless people - heck, I give them money IWL - but I'll beat the living piss out of this particular DC the first chance I get. No one lunges at me from dark patios and gets away with it!
***** UPDATE *****
About a week after I dreamed this, a REAL homeless man who VERY CLOSELY RESEMBLED the nightmare DC came into my work IWL and acted very strangely. He had the same bushy gray beard, the same creepy look, and was even wearing green!! He asked about getting a job, hit on me, and started undoing his fly as if he planned to expose himself to an older woman who was getting fitted by our seamstress (I work at a drycleaners). I was about to tell him to get the fuck out, but he decided not to whip out his junk, and finally left.

I am flying home to Czech Rep. I remember my way through the airport. I was very confused about the organization of the airport. It wasn't very busy, but I had to walk for long and through a complex labyrinth of rooms. I fly home to visit my grandmother. There is my friend Ivan sitting next to me. We chat a little, but I cannot really understand what about.
Next, I am in my grandmother's house kitchen. I can clearly see the room with all the details. It's a good size room, all toned to a light green color. I am sitting by the table on a funny, wobbly chair with a thin cushion. I sit towards the living-room, with the white and blue ceramic clock behind me. I see my hands (!!!!!) holding a cup of tea. The tea is so clear, it must be an earl gray (my grand mum uses water from a well. Anything the water is used for taste amazing). I see the cup in incredible details. It is a small, wide, white, ceramic cup with a line of little green leafs around. It is worn off a bit over the years of using. I can feel the warmth of the cup in my hands. I think I am there on my own.
Suddenly, I hear someone knocking on one of the windows by my right hand. It surprises me, because the kitchen is on the first floor. So I look there.There is a homeless man (I assume that from the way he looks). It is not a winter time, but I can feel that it is pretty cold and miserable weather outside. I stand up and open the window, but not the one right in front of him, just one or two aside. I see he is hanging on the parapet of the window. The homeless starts telling me a story.He is saying the usual story,how difficult his life is... I look at him but I don't really listen. (I saw a homeless man begging in the underground the previous day, but I was listening to some music, so I didn't hear what he said. It might be somehow reflected in this dream). As he hangs,he moves towards me. I can see his dirty hands with long and dirty nails. He is missing many teeth and the ones he has left are pretty randomly scattered in the mouth. I notice one massive tooth in the middle of his jaw. It takes quite a lot of space inside his mouth. I am surprised by this and think for a moment how that happened. (I think I was becoming lucid at this point). I am also thinking to myself, "come on spill out the story and tell me how much money you need". (this is certainly connected to the homeless guy in the underground the previous day. Even though I couldn't hear, I saw him carefully counting some coins in his hand and saying something. I thought to myself, he is probably saying how much money he is missing for hostel or something). Nevertheless, I am still wondering how could he hand or stand there.(I think I woke up at this point,and realized it was just a dream.Then I fell asleep with the intention of continuing in the dream lucidly).
I am in my grand mum's kitchen again. I look at the homeless still hanging there. I think for a moment, and then I tell him to climb in and to tell me his life story. He starts telling me the usual story. (I don't remember details of the conversation, but I was being pretty tough).
I keep asking him very direct questions about his situation, breaking through his excuses to show him that the causes of his problems is no effort to change them, that he is just feeling sorry for himself. In his story, he describes that he was held by Japanese soldiers(:-D) who wanted to pull out the big tooth. He is saying that he cannot learn anything. I am getting annoyed quite a bit. I look him straight in the eye and tell him. "Look, I am not going to give you any money, but I will give you the opportunity to make them". At the back of my mind I am hoping that no one will come in, as that would be quite difficult to explain what does homeless man doing in the house. Then suddenly someone is knocking on the window again. I look there and I see Ivan with his friend 'Filak, Fifka Fiala'. They ask me whether I go out with them, or if I go running. So I show them the homeless man. They say ok, with understanding. (what do they understand to??). I ask them if they want to go running with me as I am going between 3-4pm. The homeless man says "I fuck it", I look at him, thinking that he probably assumed he was invited too.
Then my grand mum comes in. So I start explaining the whole story, they just stand and listen. Suddenly, I feel a little bit anxious whether I catch my flight back to UK today. I am thinking, how do I get to the airport? I am looking for some brochure, but I cannot find any. I must take a coach, but what time does it go? Does it go today at all? I think it's Sunday! I must have an email with all the details about the flight, and maybe there will be details about the coaches too. I feel even more anxious.(I believe I have lost my lucidity around here).
Its 3:30, I am standing in the lobby of my grand mum's house. It is a large cold room,with stone staircase up to the second floor and down to the basement. It always smells a little bit funny in there, thought I have never been able to identify the smell,its just the smell of my grand mum's cold lobby.
I have to leave, so I excuse myself and tell everybody that the homeless guy goes with me. But I cannot see him anywhere. I look around. I am surprised. Then he walks in from the kitchen. I tell him something (I don't know what it was) and his face just all brightens up, with a real happiness. I stand there, staring at him, thinking, what the hell have I said that made him so happy? He also stares at me, realizing that what he heard was not what I said. (I don't know how I know this. It's just a feeling). Then he gets all upset, his body posture weakens. I ask him what happened. He looks at me, and says "I thought, you said you were going to make me a cup of coffee". I can see the disappointment in his eyes. Then, everything stops. I just realize how much it meant to him, that someone would care enough to make him a cup of coffee,that someone would even offer him,in my eyes such trivial thing. I am starting to feel bad. Not for not making him the coffee, but for being so hard on him before... (this must come from the interaction with my friend the night before. We talked about life goals and directions, and as I often do, I was being a little bit hard on her, just to push her to realize what it is she wants to do and not what she is expected to do. I does work in most of the cases, but it may not be necessarily pleasant experience. She told me that even though it was helpful, I should be more supportive. I think she has a point. So I thought about it quite a bit before I went to bed).