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    Non-Lucid Dreams

    1. 3,139 Words - selected parts in bold

      by , 06-06-2018 at 03:38 PM
      I went to bed pretty early and probably slept by 8:30.
      3139 Words.

      (ZZZZZZZZ)

      Early on I think I dreamed about Nana and other relatives.

      I dreamed one scene with my mom and my sister. Doing some kind of interview thing. I had a sheet that said some differences between right wing and left wing. It said that right wing will make you feel bad about yourself.

      There was a very interesting battle scene that I can barely describe at all. The words are definitely OTTOTT. Maybe something with a light saber?

      There was a part with a woman I was in a relationship with. Something about something I drove. Ah, so vague. Well, I remember being on a bed, and I was hoping she would eat a banana I had provided. (No innuendos, it was just a banana!) But then part of it fell under the bed so she ate some of someone else's. I felt a sense of jealousy or possessiveness that she should only eat the one from me. But when I looked, the banana had rolled halfway under the bed. So it was nothing personal. Still, I couldn't shake it.

      Someone on a sub reddit said that they had 7 tiger dreams where the tiger was doing a specific thing. I thought that was interesting.

      I guess I eventually woke up. This first round dream recall was pretty vague. I would've liked more clarity on it. Well, first round dreams can be like that sometimes. I will go back to bed for now.

      (ZZZZZZZZZ)

      I had some dreams, and recalled them. 'They weren't really enough to justify getting up and typing,' I thought, 'But maybe I will get my voice recorder and make a note or two.' So it was RBFA and I couldn't remember them by the end of the next dreams, which went on and on.

      (ZZZZZZZZ)

      My memory of these dreams begins with me, pulling into the local beach. S beach. I pulled in through the exit place and found that there were all these things that looked like fire trucks or the trailers that they bring on-set for actors to live in. I remember being on line to get food or admission. There was a woman taking payments. I gave her 5 dollars but the price was $1000. I meant to pay with my debit card. "Do you want to pay with $5 cash and the rest on the debit card?" she asked, kind of confused. "No, thanks, I want it all on the card," I said. I'm not sure what happened next.

      There's a big gap in my memory in the middle here. I became lucid and it felt like a lot happened, but it was a really long continuous dream. (Major FSH.)

      Where my memory picks back up is that I was in a bathroom, putting a shirt on. I wanted to go in the bathroom to put the shirt on out of modesty. It was a navy blue long sleeve shirt. I guess I hadn't been wearing one. I closed the door on one side but there was an open door on the other, with a gold handle. I noticed people coming in that way and closed it, asking for a little more time to put my shirt on. There was a fridge in the room, I think. I remember something with a blender.


      After that, I have forgot more things. I remember being lucid though. Where my memory picks up again, I was sitting at a table with 4 other people. I think another guy and 3 women. We were talking, and I asked them, "Are you all lucid, too?" and every one of them said yes. They made no denial that it was a dream, which was very exciting. I realized it had been a really long dream so far and that it would probably start to end soon. Not just for me, but for all of us. 'Wait, maybe they haven't been here as long as I have,' I thought. "Hey, guys, I think my dreaming is going to end soon. Can you all stabilize my dream for me?" I asked. I might have used the words "Can you help me stabilize my dream." I'm not sure which or another variation. I put my hands out, thinking they might some how pull me further into the dream. I started to lose my vision and see only black.

      "You have to do that yourself," they all said, kind of in unison, I think. I understood what they meant. I had to be responsible for my own dream stability, and find my own special way. "I'M STAYIN' IN THIS DREAM!!! YEAH, BUDDY!!!" I exclaimed. I was trying to mimic Ronnie Coleman, from The Cost of Redemption, when he does the 800 pound squats. The others in the dream laughed.

      I regained sight of them for a moment. They seemed to get up to go somewhere. I lost my sight again and couldn't see anything but black. However, I could feel my dream body. I tried to make a weight lifting bar appear with over 400 pounds and do a deadlift. So I imagined the bar then reached down and felt like I did it, even though, there was no sight. After that, still with no sight, I got up and flew. I felt myself flying a little, willing the dream to continue.

      I want to mention that at some point in there, I must have met another person in the dream who identified as Charlie. Because later, when I met Charlie, I felt like I had met him before in the same dream. Also, I think there was a character with a non-human head or mask on. Who followed me into the next dream thing.


      Another dream began, where I was in a room. There was a character with a circular helmet or head thing. Kind of like a pumpkin face, with the pokey teeth. But it was comprised of black, grey, red and white colors, mainly. This character who I will call P was on top of me, pinning me down. (But it wasn't pinning me down as in a night terror. It was clearly a distinct dream.) I knew it was a dream, still, and I tried to roll this character off me, but he wouldn't budge. I was afraid he would begin to pinch or torture me some how.

      I think something happened before he hurt me and he got up. I asked him if I could please leave, because it felt like he had trapped me. He said okay, and pointed to the next room, as an exit. (Now that I look back, I realize that he could have been a part of me that I would be better off having a chat with. And learning to understand. But it didn't occur to me. So I apologize to him.)

      The next room turned out to be a bathroom. I wondered why he didn't point me out the front door, but figured that his parents were home, and he didn't want them to see me leaving. I saw there was a sky light, and with some confidence about it, flew up through that. There were two panels i had to open. One opened in, maybe the screen, the other opened out, maybe the window.

      When I flew up, I lost sight. I imagined that if I looked down, I should see buildings and houses, because I had just left someone's home. However, when I finally did get a glimpse of what was below me, it was more like a body of water with a little island. When my vision came back I saw a very vivid, blue-green body of water, with ocean-like waves. What a nice surprise. There was a little circular brown space that I might have been able to land on. I think I landed there for a moment and looked to the shore.
      First, I repeated my dream stabilizing, Ronnie Coleman impression, "YEAH BUDDY! I'M STABILIZING THE DREAM!!!" It got a lot more vivid.

      Looking at the shore, there were a series of cages, one containing a big brown anaconda type of snake. There was one water tower to the left with a white basin, and then a bunch of brown pillars of varying heights. Finally, there was a brown water tower off to the right. And some land and buildings. I flew over to the anaconda cage to land on the first pillar. My aim was pretty good. The anaconda didn't even snap its teeth. (I expected it to.)

      Then I got to practice some coordination with my flying. I flew from pillar to pillar. They had flat tops but were made of giant logs. I found that if I was a little too far to the left or right, I could adjust my path with a little arm movement. So I landed on top of one pillar. The tops were a little wet, but I didn't slip. It was a mix of jumping and flying since I began to feel a need to land after a few moments.

      Once I got to the highest pillar, the next leap would be up to the top of the brown water tower. It was dispensing this ladder-thing and had various words written on it. I took a leap. My goal was to drink some of the water from it. The ladder seemed to be dropping down faster than I'd climb it.

      My jump-flight lost energy and I started slowly going back downward. There were some gold pipes in the wall, which I assumed would be burning hot. I tried to grab one anyway, to hang on, but it turned out to be burning hot. I don't think I really felt burning heat, but I pulled away as if I did.

      When I landed, I was in a hall-way thing. There were two little snakes fighting. One was a gold one with a really cool shielded back. Some voice was talking about how it uses its shielding scales and they glinted and shined. It was maybe 2 feet long. then there was a little green snake. It was maybe 6 inches long. It would wrap itself around the yellow snake and try to slice it apart or squeeze its segments so hard that it popped off.

      The yellow snake's head popped off, but re-appeared on its body a few times. They continued fighting like this. I was amazed at how the little green snake was winning against the much bigger yellow snake. I was also conscious not to stare at any one point for too long, as I heard staring at any one thing too long will wake me up, so I looked away for a moment here and there.

      Then my attention was diverted to some people that came to talk to me. One identified as Charlie, who I remembered from before. An African American man came towards me and told me I would be performing a task for them, and receive a donut in return. he was wearing a black polo shirt thing.

      "A dream donut?" I asked, thinking that these people were lucid, too. They didn't deny it was a dream but Charlie just said, "Yes, a dream donut." But his tone sounded like he thought it was waking life, and just thought the idea of a "dream donut" was funny. But to me, a "dream donut" meant that I could actually eat it, where as in waking life, I couldn't. So I was very excited to peform their task!

      It was some kind of acting gig. I found myself standing next to a tall woman, looking into a yoga class. the woman in there said that she could train any gender, male or female, but preferred to work with females. She was massaging someone or something like that.

      'Oops!' I thought as the dream faded. I had not stabilized in a while, and it ended.


      I woke up physically from that and thought it through. Got up to go to the rest room. I was going to type it but I felt so tired. Also, i was afraid it would be like 4 A M, then 5 A M when I typed it, and then I wouldn't sleep again. so I laid back down thinking maybe I'll remember more, and keep it in my head when I wake up. So that's an RBFA. I did re-remember all that I initially remembered, luckily. I guess I'm glad I got the sleep. I think my fear of forgetting dreams will drive me to record them but recording them sometimes wakes me up too much and I end up not sleeping well.

      As I fell back to sleep I tried to keep the dream in mind, and little details did continue to come back. Eventually I saw some hypnagogic circles and felt my body get a little tingly or heavy.

      (ZZZZZZZZ)

      I remember little mini dream flashes happen and then I'd wake up thinking of the other dreams. It is usually a confirmation I'll be in a dream soon.

      I found myself in a dream in my Nana's room. I don't remember it very well! Argh. I kept snoozing and trying to keep them in my head. I think it was something about pranks. people from my house in college were there. A R, O A, maybe C V, and others. But unfortunately it is quite vague! I know that I thought it was a repeat-dream of other dreams I had in the past. However once I was awake I wasn't sure. Sometimes the dream just makes that effect.

      The last part before I woke up is also kinda blurry. Blurry! I was at Nana's. Aunt B, Aunt C and Nana were there. Something with blue paint or a blue gift bag, maybe. I remember accidentally scratching a phrase onto Nana's kitchen-island thing, which turned out to be a black surface in the dream. The scratched words left a tan color underneath. I felt bad about scratching it up, and hoped they would cover it.

      I went into the dining room with a 16oz poland spring sized bottle of a yellow drink. I drank half thinking that it was sugar free or something but kinda wondered why I would drink it when i don't drink artificial sweeteners in waking life. Maybe slightly pre-lucid. When I sat in the cushioned arm chair I noticed the filing cabinet was tan with some soft parts. (It was black earlier in the dream.) I read a date and time on one of the things which seemed early. maybe April 5, not sure, and maybe 4 or 5 A M, not sure. (Oh! I just remembered when I pulled into the beach in the way earlier dream it was something about 5 A M!)

      Aunt C and Aunt B were talking about how they could order everything off the dollar menu but not the main menu. If they ordered everything off the dollar menu it would be okay to eat it all but not the main menu. Something like that. I was picturing what foods there might be. There was also something about using less medicine. That sounded good to me.

      I was kind of drifting in and out of those dreams. I got up and looked at a clock in a panic, worried that W A would be soon. but it was only 6:07 A M and W A wasn't until 7:30 A M. I was kind of mad at myself for getting up in such a panic. Part of my panic was also that I felt all my dreams were gonna slip away from my mind. But I was still so tired when I finally got up. It was interesting because I adrenalized over it, which is a W A thing. As I typed these, I was wondering to myself if it would ever be possible to sleep a full night, and not record dreams 'til morning, but still remember them all.

      In W A we say, "Even if offered the best, we say no if we need rest." So I have been essentially ignoring that slogan. When I have a really cool dream to write, I am being "offered the best". But really, its night time, and sometimes I need rest. However I try to put the sleep off until later so I can record the dream. This isn't always the best feeling, since sometimes my body wants to sleep. I don't think the answer is to stop dream journaling or start "throwing away" my dreams since they are very life-affirming. So I will look for a balance in that... But hopefully not at the cost of any dream details!!!
      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid , memorable
    2. 1,738 Words

      by , 06-05-2018 at 03:12 PM
      1738 words
      I'm listening to Brainwave Power Music in the evening now to help relax before bed. Going to bed around 8 or 830.

      (ZZZZZZZZZ)

      I dreamed of a mix of things and its all very blurry. An open jeep? Some kind of essay. D G again.

      Some kind of essay thing?

      So, I guess that was vague. Back to bed.

      I also vaguely remembered fighting someone in some building.

      (ZZZZZZZZZZZ)

      I had more RBFA until I eventually got up to write. I remember a part at my Nana's. Something with Uncle C, maybe smoking or drinking or being mad. I forgot exactly. Something with my sister or other relatives.

      I remember a part where I was recalling the dream backwards, but it was in a dream, and I was seeing the dream as it went. So it showed a part of being on a dock. And all these ducks or bird things floating by. I think I went to sleep on the dock and one flew over me. Maybe they were going to poop on me. I don't fully remember.

      I remember getting back to a class room and the teacher told me I would have "attention training." I said, "Is that detention?!" And he said yes. It was because my back pack was too heavy when I handed it in for my project. I showed him how there had been no rule listed for how heavy the back pack could be. "This is unfair! I like dinosaurs, and thats why I chose these books!" was my reply, pulling out the 2 big dinosaur books to show him. Other students had bags of slightly smaller books. But the teacher was just not reasonable. He had my car keys, but I knew two things. One, he didn't have the title, so he couldn't really keep them. Two, I had another car with another set of keys I could use, anyway.

      Eventually, it got to 3:45 P M and I saw the clock. And decided to go for the bus. (Really thinking of 2:45 for the bus time.) I pretended to go to the bathroom then ran for the bus as fast as I could. I saw one that said L V Library and one that said O B and I was trying to get into those. as I ran by the other kids in the hall, the buses in the front (of the L V high school bus drive way) were all leaving. The kids next to me were saying something like, "Aw, man." for missing them. I tried yelling out to the buses to please stop, but they wouldn't stop. I remember looking at the buses and wishing they had the name of the locations they went to, so it would be easy to know.

      Eventually I got on one bus that said "Italian P" where the P stood for some word I forgot. I was the only person on the bus.

      Eventually I arrived back in the class room, having missed the bus. Mr. R from gym class was there. He was usually nice to me but now he was holding me in detention for no reason. I also remember myself and another kid near him, talking but I forgot what it was about. D H was another scape goat. I remember R M and T H sandwiching his desk and I was like, "Guys, its bad enough already. Give him a break."

      The teacher gave us these packs of playing cards. They were kind of like Pokemon cards or Magic or Yu Gi Oh cards. He had his cards up on a projector and we all had to counter his cards. I didn't have any. D H passed me four packs but I felt like I couldn't take them. There were a lot of energy cards and I wondered if I could use Pokemon's energy cards, which I already had.

      I started to wonder what would happen when I had to get up. I was resting a lot by leaning on the desk on a cushion and no one really objected. But I was thinking of how if I had dreamed, it would be hard to remember if I had to leave abruptly, and couldn't stay a while. I remember C L and T L talking about how to walk up through the L library to get back to B, our town. But I couldn't really picture this. i remember some fences and woods which made it a tricky path, but thinking that it would be cool to have the couple miles of walking each day. When the buses had been there, I was thinking of how long it would take just to walk home, but also that they would pick me up alongside the road. Actually, I think some police officers even did catch me at some point, and take me back to detention. Not sure.

      There was a part where I was visiting this animal hospital thing. And there was a dog. Eric, the guy from the animal hospital, was showing me one dog. I pet it. It seemed to like me. He said I have to ask the dog questions and tell the dog I want to get to know it. The dog had some metal wires around it which were used to pick it up. They were thick gold wires. When I pet it, the wires were revealed. Eric showed me how the dog liked to be picked up by the wires but to me, it didn't seem to like that.

      I explained to Eric that I shouldn't get the dog's hopes up. I didn't have a place for it at home, couldn't have dogs there, and so that wouldn't be fair to the dog. He kept insisting that I think about taking the dog. I let him insist and even agreed to take his phone number in case I got strong feelings, and changed my mind. One female nurse there held up a bowl of candies in metallic green or metallic purple wrappers. Some of each. Eric said that she was offering me Reeses Cups so I just figured they had interesting shapes now. At one point, I struggled to remember Eric's name, when trying to write his number.

      I insisted the one nurse put down the bowl because it was heavy, and she would strain her arms. She agreed to put it down. There was another nurse, an older woman. She had one eye that was like a big blue marble. She drew me closer to her and showed me how she could open her eye and it was bigger than the other, but not the same blue marble. Then she could close and re-open and the big marble would appear. She explained it to me. I didn't realize it was a dream, but now that I write it, I see how dream like that really is. She had dark hair. The eye was kind of scary to look at. Her other eye was average size and looked like most eyes. Taking Eric's number in case I got strong feelings about the dog seemed silly at first but I realized that sometimes that can happen and its good to have someone to talk to.

      I remembered another part where there had been bushes out front of my parents old house. Dad mowed the lawn, and cut down everything. It was pretty brutal because he cut down a lot of plant life, not just grass. It was because of how he mis-treated the rabbit today, I think. I remember walking by the garage.

      Another part was this scene of a rapper. We were all sitting in class room desks. There was a little hologram of a rapper up on a thing on the wall, rapping to us. Everyone sat and listened. Gradually, green spinach mush built up around the rapper so I removed it with my hands. people appreciated this. Some how I was given a front row seat, right up to the rapper.

      Someone told me how they do this "he said, she said" thing with moving their hands side to side, whispering it. They had all these little customs they would do. The "he said, she said" thing was said to produce a "high" if it was done five times.

      Later in the dream I thought of making my own rap songs and using these as ad-libs. After hearing that rapper I thought it would be easy to make my own.

      I remember this map thing. Not sure if it was earlier. But it was scrolling down to a series of letters. And in another part it showed the north of one state with an arrow and the word "Ludacris" (I think) and the south had an arrow with "Masonry" (I think). Ludacris reminded me of the rapper. The arrows were curved arrows going left to right. The map was light green. The names of states were different but I tried to think to see if they were American states, just ones I hadn't remembered.

      So I woke up from those, recalled and eventually recorded, after some RBFA. They were interesting. Now its actually already 5 A M or so. I hope to be able to sleep one more time though.

      (ZZZZZZZZZ?)

      Well, I couldn't get back to sleep.
      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable
    3. 3,145 words - Surprisingly high amount of lucidity

      by , 06-04-2018 at 06:33 PM
      I went to bed around 8.
      3145 words

      (ZZZZZZZZZZZ)

      After my first few hours sleep I woke up and thought through my dreams. I actually sat in my chair and recalled them sitting with my lap top instead of laying back down. To ensure I didn't have the RBFA. My chair reclines so its comfortable enough to kinda think of my dreams without strain, but it's not gonna let me fall asleep under most conditions.

      I forgot the earliest stuff. I remember something from my Nana's. Something with my cousin J, and Nana, and maybe Aunt B. Probably other relatives, too. Something near the pool.

      I remember walking down the beach, on the side accross from the other state. There were people, doing various things. One person was commenting on someone far away, eating too close to a garbage can.

      I don't remember a lot else from walking down that beach, but there was more stuff. When I got to the end, there was someone smoking. Then I walked up, kinda angry and saw more people at a table, seeming to be about to smoke. So I "gave them a piece of my mind" by saying, "I'm sick of your crap" or something like that. I forgot exactly what happened.

      I remember walking away from there, afraid they were mad at me. I was a few blocks from the block I lived on, since fourth grade, but I turned up 2 earlier streets coming from the lower numbers. D G was on that road.

      He was residually mad at me from before, so we fought. I managed to pin him down and thought this would be best so that he didn't escape and hurt me some how.

      I had been holding him down with weapons but let him get up. P B and 2 other guys came along, one a replica of P B. F S H. Then there was something with these pills we had to take. They were like retainer brite pills. I remember thinking of when I should take it, then remembering, "Wait. I'm supposed to just take the medicine, not try to analyze how and when." P B was to my left, and had a thicker pill, which was supposed to be the "negative ion" of the one I had. it was thicker. The word Hydro Chloride comes to mind and my pill may have been something with an M.

      I kinda remembered something with A J or J M, my Dad's friend's kids. But, only vaguely...

      In this last part, we were at my college house. Y J was there. It was a party. There was some winter holiday sounding music, saying, "Please be (religious chracter), Please be (religious character), Please be (religious character) tonight." I wonder if I will remember the tone. I was sitting at my desk kind of annoyed maybe.

      There may have been something with a pool somewhere in there.

      Okay! Good to get those typed before going back to bed. Would have like to have recalled more but its okay for first round of dreams. Back to bed.

      (ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ)

      It took my a while to fall asleep that time, but I finally did. I had some restless legs but not enough energy to get up and exercise. I dreamed that I was in my room. And had some foam thing next to my bed that wouldn't stay up. I was on the phone with M from Florida while trying to turn on my lap top. The room was kind of dark. I remember the lap top screen.

      M was saying something about how people apply the same stuff to dating as they did to church and they have to stop that to have any success dating. I think I was afraid my dad heard the conversation. I woke up, recalled it, and then RBFA.

      (ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ)

      In this next dream I was driving one of the silver cars. I parked somewhere. I was wearing my orange glasses to drive as well as jeans and a navy blue shirt. FSH.

      I remember getting to this building that was made for people to come hang out. Like a "boys and girls club" but for any ages. I remember walking in, and seeing some older people there at first. Forgot some of those details. At some point I became lucid but its not clear to me now exactly how or when.

      I remember talking to some people from there, but I was afraid the indoor lighting would keep me up at night. Still, I liked the fact that people could see my eyes, without my orange glasses. I figured I'd put on my orange glasses on the way home and still fall asleep. So that wasn't lucid yet. I talked with 2 guys there at first. I've been thinking recently in waking life about how I don't go out much, so in this dream, I felt good about having gotten out more. I was like, 'Oh, yeah, I come here every week! I'm getting out a lot. Maybe I will even find a girl friend here!'

      There was a chalk board that said something about how some people think gaming is okay but "believers" and some other people don't. But they have to not interfere with the people who like gaming.

      I know I got lucid at some point. I walked through one room and someone was on a computer. I still had my clothes on. But suddenly, I was naked! 'Was I naked all this time?' I thought. 'No,' I remembered. 'It's a dream and my clothes must have just dissappeared.' I still tried to get some privacy.

      Around the corner there was a woman. "Don't come here! I'm naked!" I said. "Wait," I said, knowing it was a dream. I basically asked her to psychically make clothes appear on me. It didn't work. We interacted some more, and I woke up.

      I laid there and recalled them, and had another RBFA! But it's okay because my memory held up pretty well.

      (ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ)

      In these dreams, my sister and I were on a picnic blanket at the beach. There was something with Eckhart Tolle's voice, too. But I remember looking out accross the water and it went on forever, no sign of anything on the other side. And there was a brilliant orange glow to it, like a sun rise or sun set. When we looked up the beach, that seemed to go on forever, too.

      The Eckhart Tolle voice was joking about how it must be India. But it was silly because there was no indication of any particular location. It was just a beach somewhere in the world, presumably near the ocean. I'm not sure if I became lucid there.

      I "woke up" to another dream from that one, and I was sleeping in my room at my current location. Only it was like being kids and my sister shared a room with me. We both woke up at the same time like, "Wow! We just had a cool lucid dream of being on the beach!" So the context was that we had both been working on lucid dreaming together, and sharing dreams.

      We carried our bedding accross the hall to mom and dad's room, which in waking life is just dad's room, accross the hall from mine. We were gonna sleep on their floor. Mom seemed unsure about this but it seemed like the most natural thing in the world. To sleep on mom and dad's floor and tell them about our dreams.

      So, I woke from those, and recalled them, and didn't RBFA. My recall was overall pretty good and the dreams were very interesting.

      (ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ)

      It took a while to fall asleep again, but eventually, sleep happened. I remember there was a pizza, but it was for other people. I ate some anyway. Then they came back. I thought I would be in trouble. This part is kinda vague.

      There was a bunch of stuff in the middle of this dream. I remember walking around, hoping to find where A J N worked because I would move to that state and see if she was single.

      I remember pacing around the house and turning. There was some other stuff, but it was too vague. There was a significant amount of it though, and I had become lucid.

      Where my memory picks back up, I was walking around with my hands in a sort of clasped position (one palm holding the other hand, with the palms open?) and a woman told me I looked pathetic that way. And that I should stand more proudly, basically. I told her my mom said something similar. (Was that in the dream?) Anyway, I continued talking to her, when this old man with a big white beard appeared. He looked like of like Saruman the White from Lord of the Rings.

      The woman seemed to not notice him. "Do you see that guy?" I kept asking her. I think I was lucid. The guy with the white beard started trying to dance with me, and she didn't acknowledge him. But then eventually she did. I think the woman had brown hair, and was wearing red. There was a white fridge in the room.

      I woke up from that briefly, and thought about it. But then had a DEILD.

      The first thing I wanted to do was recall the previous dream, because it was so long. (I guess it was REM rebound.) So, I tried to find a place to lay down. There was a table I tried to lay down on but it wasn't that comfortable. I decided I would need a cushion, and went looking.

      There was a room with a woman and a baby. I think I talked to them a little. Then, I got the cushion. There were plenty of cushions. I laid it on the table and almost laid down to do my dream recall, when I decided, 'I am in a dream already! I will just let the chips fall where they may in terms of recall. And for now, I will just explore the dream.' So I walked into another series of rooms.

      Each one had a woman and a baby, I think. I walked through one, through a door to another. Through a door to a third room, and I got to some place kind of new. It was playing Here as in Heaven by Elevation Worship. The music was really faint but it took a while to realize what it was. I think the words were the same.

      I remember seeing these little machines which dispensed Jelly Beans. 'Dream food!' I thought. 'Gotta go get some!' But I felt like I wasn't allowed, for some reason. I went anyway, and dispensed some Jelly Beans with the little knob thing. I ate a hand ful. They were super sweet and tasted exactly like my memory of Jelly Beans. I don't think I've had Jelly Beans in over 5 years, maybe even 8-10 years. But I clearly remember thinking that this was exactly how I remembered them tasting. 'They are taking a while to chew,' I thought. I wanted to eat the next bite. I thought about Steve Pavlina's Dream Food article and how the Dream Donuts melted in his mouth within moments, allowing him to eat the whole thing easily. But these Jelly Beans were stuck in my mouth and I was getting bored. Also, this cookie thing appeared. A few of them. They were square with some kind of bumpy frosting. They looked like pop tarts. I remember looking up to see what the music was coming from, and the dream ended.

      I had a false awakening of being on my dream journal chair, on my lap top, ready to dream journal. My dream journal chair was where my exercise bike is in waking life. Instead of my note pad file, it showed a video screen of another guy's face. As if I was on Skype, but every word I said, he mirrored it, to where I thought he was reading my mind and then saying what I was going to say before I could.

      Eventually I told him, "Look, I'm sorry, but I need to dream journal." I think that's what I said, unless I some how decided that talking to him was enough of a dream journal, or became lucid. Not sure. Then a moose appeared. "A moose just appeared," I told him. He made a dog appear. The dog jumped on the moose's back and suddenly the dog had antlers but the moose did not. Then there was a puddle I think they drank out of. The moose got antlers again.

      I woke from that back to bed but I was in the phase again, really. I heard some ringing, but highly doubted anything else would happen. No way I would have another dream.

      But, I actually had one more false awakening of going to use my dream journal chair. I just don't remember what happened in it besides the room being light. When I appeared back in bed, I think I was still in the phase, having a stream of conciousness. I was trying to do dream recall but it wasn't working because I was still in the phase, and just didn't know.

      Eventually I found myself physically awake again, and realized, "Oh. This time I am really awake." And then proceeded to do dream recall. The giant gap of missing material from the middle of that first dream was sad, but the rest of the memory was good. That's to be expected with REM Rebound. The dream is too long to fully remember. That's why sleeping regularly is ideal for dream recall, because it's easier to remember a dream of average length. (I think.)

      I got up to go #1, and then instead of typing, decided to lay back down. I realized it would be a gamble to RBFA but that if I was awake enough to recognize what a gamble it would be, I was awake enough to remember the dreams next time. It worked, and I'm lucky!

      (ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ)

      I slept some more and had more dreams. I don't remember the exact order and there was a bunch of RBFA.

      I remember a part where I was over my neighbors' house. It was drizzling. I had gone into their garage or something. I forgot why and I don't think I knew why in the dream, either. One of them asked me if it bothered me that they had some red wine. I said it didn't bother me but it kinda did.

      One of the last dreams was pretty complex. I had laid there a while, and eventually I felt like the dream transported me back to a previous scene of the earlier lucid dreams, which was exciting. Now that I think of it, I don't remember this being a repeat, but I felt like it was. There was someone gambling. They kept bringing up their tokens and winning a lot. But they said the person at the desk never complimented them for their wins, only put them down for their losses. I remembered R from my job in the Mid West.

      There was a part with D W. I had a giant thing of rice. I offered him some. He took two globs and pretended to eat them but then spit them out. It was all meant to be a joke.

      My memory is weirdly blanking out. There was stuff I had in my head but it's vanishing. Maybe it will come back if I lay down.

      (ZZZ?)

      Well, actually I didn't fall back asleep. I remembered one scene where I was in a room and there were women there. I had a stack of money from 1, 5, 10, 20, 50, and 100 dollar bills. I put it out on the table to kind of show off. I might have been lucid. I remember there was a 55 dollar bill which seemed funny to me. I also remembered the skee ball table thing where the guy was getting the tokens, and feeling like I was predicting things within the dream.
    4. 1,052 words - couldnt get back to sleep!

      by , 06-03-2018 at 09:27 PM
      1052
      Closing the computer at 8:07 P M.

      ----------------------------------------------

      I think I woke up at first after only 1 hour or so of sleep, but went back to sleep.

      -----------------------------------------------

      Had some dreams after a few more hours of sleep. Round one of dreams was RBFA. However I remember that I was outside the local food store. A D, from high school track, was there. Something about going for a walk together. And exchanging contact information. I remember a phone out. FSH. At the end of the dream I remember a big pizza being taken out and cut.

      -----------------------------------------------

      Round two of dreams was easier to remember and I didn't RBFA.

      First there were some parts I forgot. I do remember some kind of football game thing. And I remember R S, R M and other people from high school football. I saw them in the hall. I think I started to say, "I was just dreaming about you guys!" but without knowing this one was a dream.

      I remember going over towards the high school side and seeing J R, P S and N G, maybe others. Something I forgot with P S. But I remember N G needed some help. Help getting food from the store and some other stuff. So I wanted to help him. FSH. Then there was some stuff with being in a house with a desk, by a window. G A said he wanted to help N G. I remember trying to pack some peanuts in a tupperware in a back pack. I wasn't sure if he wanted them wrinsed. I decided to leave them dry but second-guessed the amount I put in the tupperware, and went to add more.

      I remember a computer screen with mathematics. There were various functions with the letters r, s, v, s, w, q, x, and others. Some times it showed the letters upside down. There were vector symbols and intergal symbols through the letters. Like a lowercase r with an integral symbol through it. There were equations with more upside down letters. I wondered what it meant.

      I remember laying in bed, in the dream though, and being unable to sleep. But it was a dream.

      So I dreamed that I had a night of insomnia. Then I dreamed that I had got up early to food shop for N G before school, I think. I was at the local food store again. I remember being inside but not clearly. When I got outside I was thinking of having sweet potato as my starch, instead of rice, because it would be quicker. There were these big garage doors that went around the parking lot but they were open. I thought of the air mixing with the outside air and how it would affect the temperatures. There were some white thumb tacks propping up some of the wooden boards. I thought of closing the garage doors, but didn't.

      A C, L C's brother from S W T, was there. He had a sledge hammer and stood in front of a big block of pavement, getting ready to smash it to pieces with the hammer. It was some kind of contest. I saw him before he started and gave a heads-up about using proper form. He said thanks and that he would be careful, I think.

      I walked on a little more and saw another guy doing shot put. He was warming up his right arm and his left. On his second warm-up for his left arm, the ball bounced back and hit him. (There were these goal post things that it could bounce off of like a lacrosse bounce back net.) This disqualified him! When it showed the seating, it showed that his team had so many people already, that it was more likely to disqualify someone sooner. I remember an old woman in the seats as well as many others. The guy was really sad because he had prepared for the contest.

      I remember a part where I actually began to cry. I forgot exactly why, but part of it was feeling sad for the guy who got disqualified over something so forgivable. Then I remember hearing the people say to someone, that there was plenty of stuff to draw every day. To try to see the beauty in every day life and find something to draw. And then it showed an example of something to draw. Some kind of animal thing, I think.

      Then the people on another team only had 2 people, and one open seat. One of the guys offered to get the D Q'ed guy a spot on their team. They would just have to say that someone on their team had been deceased, which explained the open seat. So that was a relief.

      I remember a big battle with Megatron and Optimal Optimus. It was pretty cool. They locked hands and fought. I don't remember the whole thing, though.

      At some point, there was a self help author talking about his theory of going out and doing something about self help. He used the word S T U P I D which always triggers me. It kind of triggered me in the dream, too, and I was offended by the use of this word. I think that was earlier, in the food store part.

      At first I just made some short-hand voice notes so that I could go back to sleep. But it turned out I wasn't able to sleep. So now I will stay up until I feel sleepy again.

      ----------------------------------------------

      Yeah, I laid back down, then couldn't sleep. Got up and it was like 5 A M. I felt myself not being tired or not being able to sleep. So, that was that. Hopefully I sleep better the next night.
      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable
    5. 2,235 words

      by , 06-02-2018 at 05:50 PM
      Closing the computer at 9:40 P M tonight. I couldn't sleep when I laid down at 8, but now I feel tired enough.

      -----------------------------------------------

      Tonight I did something different on my dream recall which was to just make little voice notes, and then go back to sleep. My brain felt cloudy each time I woke up and recall didn't come as easy as usual.

      There was something with my bank account being accessible, and going to a movie theater before travel.

      Something with A B bullying me or attacking me in the kitchen. He was blasting me with hot water from the dish washer nozzle. Then we did this tug of war with a champagne glass and it broke. I wanted to fight him back.

      I know that after I recorded those I had 2 more details come to mind. But those became RBFA and I forgot them.

      ---------------------------------------------

      Next was round 2 of dreams.

      I remember being on top of a building or roof top. I forgot why but it was complex. There were some bleachers, and a book being read. I remember the book had some specific content, but don't remember what it was. I got an in-depth look at it, though. A woman had a baby. I helped her set up an audio player to play the book right near the baby's little bed thing. It played the book in a female robot voice. However, they were also reading the book out loud up front at the same time. I hoped that the two readings would stay in sync. There was more to that dream but it was too vague of a memory.

      There was something with R A putting his boogers on me. There were some big globs of boogers. We were in my Nana's room, actually a bunch of people were on her bed. I got really mad when I realized his joke was to put boogers on me, and ready to retaliate. I tried to put them back on him. Then I ended up walking around and thinking about tin foil. To put the boogers in tin foil. But I wasn't allowed to do that, or something. Then there was something about a woman in a car.

      There was something with my friend A, and going to Switzerland. His family was very wealthy in the dream. But then it turned out I was going to Switzerland with my family. I remember when we got there something with some guy in a room who some other people were after or something. But I mainly remember that I was by the front windows of the house. It was a lot like my Nana's living room windows. And I had some food that smelled good. Well, there was a wolf or a dog that came up to the window, smelling it from outside. And he or she wanted some. I didn't want to go directly outside because I was afraid the dog might be dangerous, so I got a spoon ful of the stuff (it was like grits) and tried to find a hole in the window screen to poke the spoon out through. There seemed to be a good sized hole so I got ready to put the spoon through there, but then found that the front door was already open! It turned out the dog was our dog and it was a nice dog, so the dog got to come inside.

      When I got up to my room, J G was giving me a hard time about my vitamins. It reminded me of when my Nana thought I was taking "pills" when she saw me taking my multivitamin and other vitamin and mineral pills. I was mad at the accusation. I remember seeing my B complex and my multi vitamin.

      A was trying to fit me with a zip-up wind breaker jacket kinda thing. The size around the belly was said to be 34. The zipper didn't quite reach all the way around, or if it did, it would squeeze. A said he might have to get me a new one of the right size. I told him it was no problem because that was just with my belly pressed out. If I flex my core, I would easily fit in it. And I usually flex my core by default. There was another guy there too, to my left. We were near a window. On the window, something like a stick appeared but it turned out to be a two-legged lizard. it had a tail with was one fourth of its length or so, and then the 2 legs, then the front of its body was three quarters of its length, and a head, but no front legs. I looked at it in amazement, wondering what it was.

      Then the dream shifted to showing these lines of little bugs one after the other. And big bugs came along and started to eat them. So the bugs changed direction, right to left, then again, left to right. It was sad to see the bugs get eaten. After that, the world changed to a Mario side scroller thing. There were enemies kind of like pink bomb-ombs and black bomb-ombs but they all had a spike on their head. Some how I had to run accross a whole field of them without dying. (In waking life I remember seeing that it was possible to use the spinning jump to bounce off them but I didn't know that until this year!) Anyway I did that and might have lost a life but eventually got to where I jumped in through this tube. The tube had a castle over it and warped me to a world where there would be a demonstration. T H told me something about how it was good that I made it here. I think there was a building I was flying to with some words on it, but not sure.

      Then I remember being in a library. We were doing a demonstration video. Two of the guys in the video were smoking. I didn't know it was a dream. I was mad. 'This is not okay to advertise smoking subconsciously,' I thought. 'Not on my watch.' So I grabbed the cigar from the one guy and then we got in a fight. I remember seeing his reflection. "You look like Samuel L. Jackson!" I said. Anyway, it became a big fight. I think he initially got the upper hand in the fight, but I escaped. I'm not totally clear on that.

      While I was plotting revenge on the attackers, I was side tracked by an interesting woman. I didn't get to the part where I approached her but I saw her with a phone and it took my mind off the resentment.

      At the end of these dreams, there was something with a tupperware with some protein shake stuff in it. And my sister had called me from being away. I wanted to ask her if she would be back in time for the end of her school year. She said she didn't care about that stuff. It pained me that she wouldn't even try it for the sake of her future, but I knew there was nothing I could do to change her mind. I think that was the last scene before I woke up.

      Tonight I woke up from the dream still thinking about the last situation as if I were really in it. I did that each time and by the time I finally realized it was a dream, a few good minutes had passed without me doing any recall. it is why the word count is so much lower than usual, but also because I overworked the day before, and under slept the previous night. Also I have not been doing adequate waking life recall and it might be time to renew that.

      ----------------------------------------------

      Round 3 of dreams were also very eventful but again I woke up and didn't realize it was time to recall dreams, until too late. It took me some time to fall asleep for these. I had to do a little stationary bike in the dark and stretch to be able to sleep and even then, it took a while.

      I remembered dreaming of being in front of the fridge at 15 S W. And eating these little pretzel sticks with some kind of dip. I remember almost being out of pretzel sticks.

      I remember going accross a bridge in the wood, and thinking about "beast mode" which meant becoming like a were wolf or very primal. I was looking at my hands. And thinking how it was important to go into a "primal" mode.

      There was a part on the phone with my Nana, I think. She said how she will try to quit cigarettes now. It seemed like a waking life memory at first but then I realized that was a dream memory. I also remember looking at the phone, and checking if it was almost 7 A M because there was a men's meeting starting at 7 on Saturday, in waking life. I must have thought of it within my dream. In the dream, there was plenty of time until it, and when I woke up, there was also plenty of time.

      In another scene I remember going out for a walk. There was something about looking through my wallet. And something with a dog. I had not taken the dog out for the walk. I felt really bad when I saw the dog waiting by the window, wishing he could be outside. I just saw the dog's silhouette in the window because it had got dark. I remember a cement path and grass to each side. How sad.

      I had one mini-dream of looking at a cup of water. It had a lot of condensation on the outside. A big ant was crawling up it. I figured the ant would crawl on the outside, but wouldn't go in the cup. Then the ant went over the rim and crawled into the cup! I was like, 'Oh no! The ant's in the cup!' and then woke up. As I saw the ant, I started to get lucid because something seemed different from waking life. Usually I don't drink out of that kind of cup and the ant seemed dream-like. Sure enough, it had been a dream.

      -----------------------------------------------
    6. 2,169 words - selected parts in bold

      by , 06-01-2018 at 10:35 PM
      I'm closing the computer around 7:30.

      -----------------------------------------

      I woke up from these dreams and found I had turned in my sleep. This made me think I had already woken up once but when I thought more about it, I realized it must be my first time waking up.

      There was a lot that was OTTOTT. Earliest in the dream, I remember fighting with my Uncle C. I think he was bullying me. I remember swimming in the pool, maybe with my sister. Something about teaching her to swim or practicing going back and forth, but I couldn't remember more. I also remember something with my Dad that's vague. And a part where a woman was serving a wealthy man lemonade all day and catering to him, because he was so wealthy. I think they were married and when he was home from work, she took care of him. The lemonade was in a pitcher.

      I remember being in my high school. There was a meeting* and an art class. The meeting had this menu of things. One was like a religious text**, and contained a part about a character saying something like, "What about me?" I don't quite remember. The meeting had a menu that said studying this religious text was important. It also said that in order to have a relationship, it was necesary to study the religious text, with the name of it in italics.

      I think in the earlier part, Uncle C had to travel somewhere. Anyway, in this part, I remember being in a class room. Something with A S sitting with a paper thing. Kinda vague. I remember that we all had to draw L R's face 10 times. I had been writing on lined paper, but switched to my little note book for drawing. I had 2 packs of colored pencils which I spread on the floor to my left. I was in a regular high school class desk. I had to lean to my left to adjust them. Some pencils were just tiny tips and I had to get them out of the aisle so no one would slip.

      I was ready to draw L R's face really well. Then some how it changed to a computer screen, and I was locked out of the menu that led me to the drawing class. So, I had to figure that out. There were a bunch of menu options pressuring me towards that religious text. One was like an arrow pointing right. Eventually it reached a point where I was with 2 women who were talking. One, the teacher (I think) mentioned adverbs and what words go with them.

      I asked what to do about washing or drying my shirt. Then I was near a dryer and I had some khaki pants but it would cost 7 dollars to run the dryer. I was being angry about this. I talked to my Dad. Apparently if I got change for the 7 dollars it would only cost a dollar or so to dry them so I did that. I went to get a snack from the vending machine, and there were little packs of cookies. I remember J B and M R and J P. So I eventually did that. There was also something about not leaving one's clothes wet in the machine because it will make it yucky.

      After that, I remember getting to a computer lab. It was late. The computers said 12:09 A M. I was not happy that this was cutting into my sleep. I think it was J P who was next to me, and he said every few weeks it was normal to have a weird sleep schedule. That didn't quite ring true. I remember on the computer seeing a page by C in my search options. In waking life we just ended our relationship so it was weird to see something by her. It was as if the search results were mocking her, which kind of helped. They had some words inserted in other words that made a sort of hidden message.

      I woke up from these with a lot of energy, thinking I couldn't possibly fall back sleep. Even though I don't really remember them that well. Okay, I'm glad I got up to write them. Maybe there was some kind of bug in the pool. Oh! In the class part, there was something that said I could have an out of body experience where I met my own personality from the outside. Back to bed.

      -------------------------------------------

      It took me forever to fall asleep, but I finally did. I did my waking life recall in my mind and then imagined some stuff while waiting, and even did some left hand writing time. Eventually, sleep came. Glad I didn't give up.

      I remember being in a class room. The desks were in columns and rows, like in high school. The teacher had his back turned to the class, so one of the students behind me thought it would be funny to push the desks all the way up to the front of the class. So he managed, from the back of the column of desks, to push us all up to the front, right up to the teacher's back. I forgot exactly what happened. I know the teacher had been explaining how his name was "Eduardo Doucher" and not "Edward Doucher" and not "Ed Norton" but if his last name was "Norton" it would be "Eduardo Norton".

      I became lucid somehow. I forgot what did it. I just remember standing there, lucid, and realizing there was no way I could stabilize the dream in time. Too bad I forgot what triggered the lucidity. It was only a few moments before I woke up. I remember hearing a drill sound, and trying to get it to turn off. There was some kind of loft thing. It occurred to me that since it was a dream, I could confront the driller, more easily than I could in waking life. But the dream ended.

      Well, I didn't really wake up! I found myself in my bed, in the phase. I could just tell it was the phase, and not the physical world, so I got up. There was vaccuuming or drilling this time again. First thing I had to do was remove my eye mask, which had transferred into the dream. It took some prying. Then, I could dimly see my desk. I almost thought I'd actually got up physically but I looked and my desk had nothing on top. This showed me it was a dream again because I remembered that in waking life my stuff is on my desk.

      On the wall behind the desk was an array of photos, 4 wide by 3 tall. But it was on the wall that goes into my sister's room, not the wall that goes to the side of the house. I read one photo and it said something about fasting, maybe, but I forgot the exact word. I was trying to keep it in mind though. I thought of repeating it out loud, but I'm not sure if I did.

      I tried to open a hole in the wall starting with my fist. My fist was able to press into the wall but only up to my wrist at most. It was fun but eventually I gave up on that, and walked around. Instead of just one room accross the hall, there was one accross, and one between. My sister was vaccuuming one bed. There were three beds, with soft, fleece kind of blankets.

      I thought it would be a good lucid thing to do to try to talk to my sister in the dream. It didn't work out though. I remember the dream ended or shifted and there was a really cute orange cat looking at me. Then the dream ended again, and I was in the phase. I thought it was physically waking up but not yet. I rolled out of body but felt a lot of resistance or gravity. It made it so I couldn't stand up or fly up out of my roof, but I could roll out of bed. Then, the gravity pinned me to the floor.

      This was pretty scary. I felt like it would be a time when I'd experience "bad entities". So I casted a white bubble around me. I had no vision, just all black, but imagined the bubble. I kept trying to crawl a little further, then stand. Every time I tried to stand, I got pulled to the ground again by this gravity-ish force.

      Then I lost the sense of a body but saw a white silhouette thing of white lines kneeling. I felt apprehension. Suddenly streams of words flew over the silhouette's head, from left to right. First it ducked them but then the stream of words got thicker and the silhouette had to fight them off. Then that part ended and I woke up physically, for sure this time.

      That last part was interesting. I was the silhouette and I think the stream of words was my troubling thoughts.

      I woke up and recalled what I could. Now, time to go back to bed!

      --------------------------------------------

      I couldn't sleep again. now sleepy. Will try to sleep now. Weird night.

      ---------------------------------------------

      Finally got back to sleep. I might have got another hour or 2 at most. Now that I write this, it's around 8 A M. I had a pretty vivid dream.

      I remember being on some kind of cement walk way with railings that walked out over a body of water. I was at the end of it. But I forgot what I was doing. (Something with a sugar cereal?)

      I remember that I recorded some kind of dialogue with my family or my friend S S's family. It was on my phone. He seemed appalled that I had recorded it. So I turned it off before he could realize it. I hadn't recorded it for a bad reason.

      I remember seeing my Nana, maybe Nanny F, and other relatives. Uncle C was there, and he kept smoking a cigarette. I saw the smoke, and it was near by, but I couldn't smell it. This is my dream sign, but I didn't catch it. I got annoyed but figured it was vapor or something (which is also dangerous though).

      I remember these plat forms that were floating or on water. I remember Krillin from D B Z wanted to train because I was very strong. Something happened where I got up stairs and corned by Frieza and 2 big minion guys. I remember seeing Frieza's face in beast form where his head was really long. I tried to escape them and got cornered at the end of a corridor up stairs. Frieza began to charge an attack to shoot me and I saw the energy ball form.

      I must have become lucid because I remembered that one of my dream goals was to form an energy ball or an aura, to defend myself. I tried, but nothing happened! Like usual. But, to my surprise, my efforts nullified Frieza's energy ball. I saw it totally vanish. So that was pretty cool!

      I remember going back down stairs and there was a vision of a green lizard head guy I kept seeing. But he seemed to be staying put. However, there was a black lizard thing which was much bigger, that decided to come after me. I'm not sure if I maintained or lost lucidity, probably lost it. But I had the sense it was a video game. I had a Nintendo 64 controller and escaping the beast seemed just as easy as pressing the pause button. However I think it still continued to chase me. I don't remember how that ended. Maybe the Frieza part came after this, and that's how. I'm not sure.


      I don't know if there was something with G D or if that was in my head once I had woken up.

      That was all I remember even though these seemed eventful. I was so groggy from all the insomnia that it took a while to start recalling the dream. I think there was one more part I remembered at the end but its not in my head any more.

      -------------------------------------------

      I don't know if I will sleep again because its already after 8. I might nap today and that could be a chance to get lucid. Or, I will just get REM rebound tomorrow night, or both.

      2169
    7. 3,304 words

      by , 05-31-2018 at 06:48 PM
      3304 words
      Off computer at 7:16 P M.

      --------------------------------

      4:18 A M: This is my first time up to dream journal. I had one or two rounds of dreams that went to RBFA and I couldn't even get a single clue as to what they were about. I tried, because I know I recalled them once I'd woken up. I almost thought of at least making some voice notes but I was like "if I stay still I will get one more detail" and then fell asleep.

      The second round of dreams must have only had a brief awakening afterward because I didn't even get up to use the bathroom.

      My earliest memory from this third round of dreams was that M R and N H were trying to talk me into something. I remember a fridge, and that I had taken the two glass shelves out of the fridge. I put the top one back in, and some food on there. But the bottom shelf from the fridge was still out on the table. Also, there were a bunch of little glass pieces that went with it, which I was trying to figure out what to do with. Stacks of little glass rectangles.

      I also remember a part where there was all this gunk. maybe in a shower. maybe something to do with a beach. I don't really remember now. But I remember thinking it was a bad thing, and should be stopped. However, no one else was really bothered by it. I think I kept trying to clean the gunk or something. It was clearly one person's fault. I guess I moved on when it turned out no one else minded.

      I remember a part where I was standing in the center of a circle with some other people in the middle with me. And lots of people began to circle around us in a big circle. I had the idea they were some kind of demons or bad guys all circling around us. But then the mood shifted and I was talking to one of the guys in the circle. He was taller than me. I was like, "Thanks for letting me use your body!" Because I guess he had let me use his body like a robot. There was another big guy next to him who was also heavy and very tall. I told him he had giant muscles and could defeat anybody. They both went and walked on a track.

      Now I remember this part. Maybe it was earlier. I remember a really light shot gun someone had. And driving in some cars. Maybe something with a smaller gun. Never mind, I can't piece it together.

      I also remembered a part in which I was trying to write down my food. Something with numbers and maybe even a graph.

      There was another part in a restaurant with an Indian man like K. He was making an egg sandwich on a griddle. At first I don't think it was a griddle but it became a griddle as I started at it wondering why he had just cracked raw eggs onto a plate like that. He put a sheet of bacon the size of a slice of bread, and then cracked 2 eggs on the bread, and I think some cheese. I remember tasting some of the egg white but it still needed to cook a little more. Still, it was pretty good. He said how that was a really cheap way of making it and so he could profit more from selling that, than if he cooked it another way.

      I don't know if there were details in the middle here. But next thing I remember is being in the dining room with a family. The Dad was mean to the kids and wife. It was the last straw because he had been mean on a regular basis. This meant it was time to call the lawyer and get the Dad out of there. I ran for the phone because I knew the dad would physically try to stop me. I remember the rush of running. The phone was near by and I managed to find the lawyer's number on a piece of paper as I ran. I almost wondered if there would be no point, because I didn't have the lawyer's number.

      As I ran, I made an appointment. The dad was chasing me. To get ahead, I jumped down the stair well, from railing to railing, down a few flights. I got to a floor with a pool table and went in there. That was where I was supposed to meet the lawyer and discuss things. What a relief, I made it, without the dad catching me.

      Then I was more focused on the people playing pool. The pool table had some different elements to it. Almost like a mini-golf course, but as a pool table. Not quite but it just had some segments. People there made some pretty skillful pool moves. (I just got a flash back of the earlier dream with the gunk in the shower, and a woman saying it didn't matter.)

      Eventually the dad caught up and brought us this raccoon thing. He handed it to me because I was supposed to take care of it. It curled up in my arms and went to sleep. (I think its from observing the rabbit in the yard for a while last night.) The raccoon thing seemed to go to sleep though and it was supposed to sleep 10 days. I wasn't sure if it would sleep all 10 days or wake up. Or what it would need. There was a little house for it. I wondered if it belonged in the fridge.

      The dad got a big dispenser of water. He called it "carbon water" and it was the only kind of water I could feed the raccoon. This worried me because it was going to be expensive. (Was there something about brushing my teeth?) So we sat around and drank the carbon water I guess. But something theatrical happened and a bunch of bubbles floated up. They contained the word A7 which was the name of an ion. (Something like that, maybe A7+.) It was really fascinating to see all that happen. Then there was a really steamy cup of tea. It was under the table at first so I thought someone had a cigarette, and got ready to get mad. But the tea was just the thing making the steam, not a cigarette, making smoke.

      There was also some other magical stuff like presents appearing. Because I didn't think it was a dream, my mind actually shifted the whole thing so it became a movie. This way I would believe it was waking life, because that would be more likely to happen in a movie scene. It looked like special effects. Then I found myself sitting and watching the movie.

      There was a woman in the chair to my right. She was saying how her boyfriend was workaholic and would never just relax and hang out with her after a movie. I turned so I was facing her and started to try to talk about my recovery from workaholism. Partly to be nice and partly because I was single and wanted her to like me! She didn't face in my direction which I guess meant she would have felt bad to talk with me due to having a boyfriend.

      I got up and walked some ways away. Up some hills. Maybe through some snow. Thinking about the woman there, feeling off about it. And I was still thinking about the animal but I forgot if I left it in a tree or still had it. Anyway, I walked so far that I realized I'd gone too far. There was a train heading back to where I'd come from and I sprinted towards it. Just barely made it. It turned out to be a bus, on train tracks. I thought I'd have to go all the way around to get in, but there was a door on my side. When I got in, I barely made it. I had to grab the door and yell to the bus driver to slow down. He must have been on a schedule, and that would throw off his schedule. I explained to him gratefully that its my first time using this bus. He was nice about it.

      The rest of the people on the bus looked shady, like gangsters. I was kind of nervous and sat towards the back. We ended up playing more pool. I guess the bus just transformed into another pool hall, because dreams can do that. I don't know why I am dreaming of playing pool. I haven't played pool or even seen a pool table in years. Maybe my dreams are suggesting I go play pool! The table was divided into sections again, unlike a waking life pool table. People were doing all kinds of tricks like blowing on the pool balls and putting spin on the pool balls. I also noticed that no one used the triangle. And if they did, there would have been 2 triangles worth of pool balls. Anyway the first guy who went used the pool stick differently. swinging it from above. I was like, "Cool style." Someone knocked the cue ball in. I forgot every move of the game but it was very vivid and interesting to watch. I think round 3 of dreams (which was this round) is usually my most vivid and eventful so if I take any Alpha-GPC or Huperzine-A it should be between rounds 2 and 3.

      After that there was something else about whether or not a woman would like me. And more lucid dreaming tips. I remember R S leaning back with his hands near a bubbling pot of water. He was a master lucid dreamer, in this dream. And the Lucid Dreaming tips were naps, RC's, and 2 other things. The guy said that besides, that, nothing made a big difference. I wanted to impress the woman.

      Then I think was when I woke up. Nothing I can do now to re-gain those first or second round of dreams' dream details. Some of the second round may have trickled in to the dream journal. But I am thinking through them and I fall back to sleep! If I got up to write it would seem premature as I wasn't done thinking of them. So its definitely a "double bind" but there will be lots of dreams in the coming days, weeks and months and even years. Okay, back to bed.

      --------------------------------

      8:20 A M: Great. I managed to get some sleep. It took a little while to fall back asleep and I almost doubted I would. But, I did! I had lots of short dreams and snoozing.

      I remember something with trying to get on an A C A phone meeting. They said something about how I would have to press any key to skip the main menu and go straight to the meeting. I figured everyone would start to do that, and skip the main menu. I remember a fellow traveler, maybe named J, calling me. We talked about some stuff. I said something about how if I isolate too much I could return to old behaviors or an addiction. I think I remember a poster on the wall. In the walk-in fridge, there were a bunch of milk jugs. However, all the milk jugs were opened and partly drank out of. I thought it was weird that they had all been used a little bit, instead of people just using one all the way. It was like the walk in fridge at my house in college. The milks had the light purple label which means 1% or skim milk, I forget which. I wanted some milk but decided they wouldn't be any good, due to having been opened. They looked spoiled to me.

      Then, when I walked out of the walk in fridge thing, someone talked to me about getting a job. They were saying how smart I was, but they couldn't hire anyone to work on the crane. I was thinking, 'Good! I don't want to work on a crane!' Then instead of a person, there was more of a voice talking to me. I could tell I was hearing a voice from the sky, but didn't know it was a dream. The voice was telling me some different things. One thing it told me was an earlier part of the dream I had forgotten. It was because I couldn't remember the earliest part of this sleep cycle's dreams, and it actually told me what happened. However, I don't remember it now! Unless it was the milk jug part. But I remember it then, and it rang true.

      There were parts where I was starting a subreddit called r/nojob or r/dontgetajob in addition to other subreddits like another sub-reddit for being anti-cigarettes. I was in my room from senior year of college. I remember looking on our big screen T V from the couch, which was up, and to the left. It was really hard to see anything at that angle and it got kinda frustrating, trying to work like that. At another point I was in my room with my 42 inch TV hooked up as a monitor. Something about using the correct kind of cable and a tutorial about that.

      In yet another part, I was in this one house by the ocean. The ocean was so blue and went on forever. It felt like I was on the very edge of the world. There was something about how I had to go talk to the guy next door so I went over there. He was an African American guy with a beard, like Mr. T. I saw another person interviewing him from outside. They talked in a totally un-known language but as they spoke, a female robot voice translated everything. (I forgot the exact words.) I didn't know it was a dream but it was so vivid. I remember the guy had a huge mansion. And I remember going and walking out to the side of the stone patio, which went right up to the ocean, too. There was a little mini pool thing but it looked like it went down in a whirl-pool. I thought of it as a jacuzzi and wanted to jump right in. It was so vivid. The sky was bright blue, the ocean was waving, it was really vivid.

      Next I was going to use the bathroom, I think back in the same house as above. I saw my sister so I knew she wasn't in there. I went to go to the bathroom and then saw one bedroom and then beyond that, another bedroom. In the 3rd bedroom I saw purple legs standing on a pillow. It was my cousin J. I tried to close the door and use the bathroom but I didn't go in the stall. I aimed for a hole in the floor. I missed a lot and was going to have to wipe the floor up after. My cousin came to the bathroom right then and I saw her eye, looking in to the bathroom. I covered up, and didn't want her to see that I had peed! I just couldn't figure out how to use the stall. I yelled at her about it, like, "Don't look!" And felt bad for yelling. I felt like I had to push her away. Luckily, it was just a dream. (This is why I am trying to train myself to RC every time I go pee.)

      I remember a false awakening where I was walking around a building. I wanted to go pee in a corner somewhere and go right back to bed, without waking up too much. My goal was to keep dream chaining and try to get lucid, and go explore that ocean. Unbeknownst to me, I was still in a dream already. I found a corner that I almost peed in but then there was a heavy guy who came out of the kitchen, like 50 feet from the door I was at, walking into a cafeteria. So, that plan was blown.

      When I woke up physically, I realized there was a bathroom that was easy to go to. But it took a while because my mind had still carried the impression of there not being a near-by bathroom.

      My last dream was about looking for the next season of Dragon Ball Super. There was something cool about Vegeta and how he could freeze time and rewind to where everyone was standing around him, and someone said something mean to him. Then re-play the scene but do it differently. I remember looking on-line because a new show had been released every day. So I was trying to find it up on You Tube. I think it was Sunday in the dream. That led me to a message board, where they had video game links. Someone replied to my question in Spanish with a link to a web-site that would have a Pokemon game. My attention went to that. I remember looking at a Super Nintendo Controller, trying to set up the buttons, like in an emulator. The titles to the paragraphs were in Spanish but the rest were in English. One was a silly gossip article about how Charizard fell in love with Manta Something. I woke up from that thinking that I'm trying to avoid gaming, so I can't actually go set that up. Then I realized it had been a dream.

      So, those were a good amount of dreams. My recall on them was pretty good. I am glad to have slept in so much. For me its much more of a success to sleep in than it would be to wake up early.

      I am beginning to be a little down about how I'm falling back to sleep after the first round of dreams lately, without writing it. And usually, forgetting much of it. So, although I think its healthy to have a balance between sleep and dream recall, I might start to think of some way to avoid forgetting those first or second rounds of dreams. But also it will probably come back to me naturally, once I allow myself to get the rest I need. because some nights, I would be recalling that first round of dreams, and at the end, have plenty of energy to get up and write it.

      Oh! I also remembered a dream detail of going through my phone and trying to convert the audio format of my voice recorder (m4a I think) to mp3 or vice versa. That detail came back to me later in the morning, when I thought of my phone.
    8. 3,453 words - selected parts in bold

      by , 05-30-2018 at 02:00 PM
      Today I'm closing the computer a little later, at 8:30 P M. Just want to note that.

      ---------------------------------

      I had one round of dreams that was RBFA. I did end up recalling a good amount at the time but could only re-remember certain parts.

      I think I remembered M R, G F and N H in these.

      One part was of a fight. Someone flying with jet packs. Some kind of red sugary drink powder.

      At the end there was an Italian guy waiting tables and he was talking to a giant bottle of red wine.

      I woke up from those and recalled a good amount, even with the fan on. Recall was going so well I considered making some voice notes, but I was unwilling to get up and write. So I fell back asleep. Again, balance is important, so I'm not mad about it. But when I have the energy I will write them.

      --------------------------------

      Round 2 of dreams was different. I didn't RBFA (Here I am writing it now) but when I woke up, I couldn't latch on to a detail and start remembering, right away, or as soon as I'd like to. It took me a while and then I realized they had been a very long series of dreams. So here is what I got.

      I remember S S, G S and N S in one part. I was with S S and we were going to his house. I had to take out my retainer or put in my retainer before talking to them. It was a detailed part but I only remember it vaguely.

      I remember being in convertibles with some friends in a parking lot. And we were weight lifting. We had weights in the car. I forgot if we did a variety of workouts but I know I did a back workout. Afterwards, I was moving my shoulder blades, and realizing I shouldn't do any back workouts for a few days, so that I would recover the energy I'd used. One of the guys there said something about working out which I forgot.

      Then I remember driving around by the local intermediate school. I wanted to pull in to the parking lot by the big field. It was totally empty, no one was there. Still, I was afraid I wasn't allowed to, like it was just for people who currently went to school there.

      Something happened and I thought I had done something wrong. I remember Ms. M (math teacher) saying that it wasn't me who had done anything wrong. It was something else at the same time. Well, that was a relief.

      I remember this demonstration with a pyramid thing. It was more surreal at this point. The pyramid had several symbols on it. There was a guy doing a demonstration of how the pyramid could shoot streams of fire and ice. Or lava and ice. But he also said frozen lava and burning ice. The red and blue streams twisted around each other in a show. There was a girl who was afraid to go into the pyramid because she imagined a corpse would be in the first chamber to the right. It showed an outline from the outside of what she thought might be there.

      I remember sitting out by the school and talking on the phone with my friend M, from FL. We were taking turns talking. He was saying something and as I listened, I thought, "This is great to be talking to M again at the end of each day." Then a really loud helicopter went overhead. I was so annoyed at how low it was flying. But it was also spinning around and around very fast. Not just the chopper blades but the actual body of the helicopter was spinning. This seemed different to me but with dream logic, I explained to myself how that always happened.

      Then M and I were on the plane. We found out how to de-stabilize it because there was a frozen bottle of soda. In the dream, soda couldn't freeze, so a frozen bottle of soda became highly pressurized, like tanks of liquid oxygen. So we were playing with that, knowing it could mess up the plane, because we were mad at the plane.

      Then, my Dad and even N F and other family members were all trying to get me to come talk to them. But I just walked right past, glad to escape their clutches. However, my sister got caught by them. She got away again, and morphed into protein powder, and hid in a tupperware, mixed into some water. My Dad could easily find her because she was with her friend A and that's the only place she would go. So he was able to poke a hole in the tupperware and get her out or something like that.

      Maybe some more things happened. The last thing I remember is being on the computer and receiving an e-mail from my friend K. She had sent me a list of affirmations, saying that she sometimes had a busy mind and would use the affirmations. They had to do with all categories of life, but one was something like, "My room is clean and peaceful." After I read that, I looked up from my computer and looked around my room. Nothing seemed different from waking life to me (Not that I was actively checking) but I don't remember exactly what I saw. I was just looking at my room and thinking of the affirmation. Also, my chair was in a similar spot as it was in waking life.

      So, that was fine to recall all that. I kind of wish I'd recalled more, because I got a little burst of energy while recalling those and could have gone on typing. Another thing that I think limited my recall a little this time was the fan's noise. But I had no clue there had been so many dreams in round 2, so I didn't even know what to look for, until one of the memories reminded me. I remembered thinking of how many dreams there had been. I think I also remember kids in my Nana's back yard, but not sure.

      So, back to bed now. I think my word count will be down a bit based on letting myself RBFA. But I am just trying to listen to my energy levels and find balance.

      --------------------------------

      I slept some more, and had a cool dream chain thing. The first few dreams I did another RBFA, partly because there weren't that many dreams. When I fell back asleep I found myself in a long dream and had some lucidity. Plus, very vivid.

      I remember being in my Nana's den with O A, C V and A R.

      My dad came down and started to pin each person on the couch for no reason. I wanted to stop him but he was kind of bullying my friends and he was too big for me to stop. So, I tried to escape before he could bully me, too. On the way out, I remember running as fast as I could. I grabbed a serrated steak knife in case I needed to defend myself. It was my best option. I remember crawling beneath the windows outside Nana's living room. The lights were on in there, and I was afraid they'd see me, but I got away towards the road. I don't remember what else happened after that.

      I think that was all I remembered from that time of sleep. Then I did the RBFA and had more dreams.

      My earliest memory of these took place in a class room, but it was a lot of dreams. I remember there was a guy at the chalk board with some kind of mask. He asked me something about a church, which bothered me, but I decided to be nice to him because I thought I knew him long ago, when he was different. I forgot what else happened in that part.

      Maybe there was some kind of class room I had got into where all these women were having an art competition. It is too vague to fully recall it. I think it involved my mom.

      I also remember something in the fridge that was maybe my sister's.

      Now I clearly remember walking with my Mom, and holding her hand. I think at first we had our fingers clasped but I started to worry that someone would think she was my girlfriend. So I wondered if it was okay to hold my mom's hand. It was because she was having trouble walking or balancing. So it made sense to me. I just held her hand the other way, without fingers clasped. That seemed to be the better way to do it.

      We got to a square of pavement with a puddle in front. I would have jumped the puddle but I realized my mom couldn't so I looked for another way around. Then we had to go back up to a platform but there were no steps. I helped my mom up a ladder thing that was like light yellow in color. Then we watched the bridge to my town open up. A red truck had segments dangling down from the bridge which seemed different to me. I guess they opened the bridge before the truck made it all the way over. But dream logic said the truck would just finish driving itself fully to one side. There were some little kids swimming in the water underneath. It got my attention but again I just figured that's what kids do. They had floaties on.

      Then my Mom and I walked somewhere. I think it shifted to where we were at her friend C's house. (I think J L was in the previous dream on the plane.) I forgot all that happened, maybe something about someone's food in the fridge? Actually, I think I was eating steak. I've been vegan for almost 2 years and I knew this in the dream but I figured I'd just eat the steak one time. I wasn't lucid yet. There was something about my sister having certain food in the fridge that wasn't for me.

      Anyway I remember standing with my mom in one upstairs place and looking down at the back yard. There was a beautiful rectangular in-ground pool. The color was sea green but it looked intentional. not like it had got full of algae but that they meant for it to look that way. I went to point it out to my Mom. She said, "Yeah, this is the home of the wealthiest 40-head." I was like, "40-head? Who?" And she said it was her friend C. It made sense since her friend C always seemed like she had alcoholism or addiction issues. I think there was also stuff involving my mom's friend J from upstate that I can't remember.

      But then I looked again at the pool and it was a square garden of green leaves. This caught my attention. I knew there was just a pool there moments ago. So I told my Mom, "You know, sometimes things can just change from one to another around here. It's like we're in a dream!" I knew for sure it was a dream but when I heard myself say that I realized I was just giving my mom a hint, not directly saying it. She asked me more about dreams. "Do you keep a dream journal?" I think she asked. I got really excited because it just felt fun and maybe I'd teach my mom to lucid dream. I casually answered while looking at a little yellowish spider thing on a web. I was trying to see what its shape was. "I write down all my dreams! You know, just last night, I was dreaming about..." and then I think the dream shifted.

      I'm not sure the exact order, but there was this part where sponge-bob was trying to get the world record for bathing in some really gross liquid. It was like some kind of burning liquid with lye, or some kind of vomit stuff. Eventually something happened and it drained out of the tub. I thought he'd be upset that he didn't get to the world record. But I also didn't want to see him keep suffering. I think I was still lucid for this part, looking at the different characters and thinking of how to draw them later. Also I remember examining some of the brown gunk before the scene changed.

      Next I remember being in some kind of weight room. Some athletes were in there, training. It reminded me of my high school weight room, maybe with a different hall way leading up to it. I was lucid. I got all my energy in my head and tried to blast myself like a rocket, accross the room. Just to try it. And it worked, I flew over there at rocket speed. One of the football players asked me how I did it, and I pointed to my skull. (Saying it was from brain power.) Then, I tried to do it again. Aiming to teleport or fly super fast over to another weight machine and lift the whole thing. But I couldn't get it to work.

      There was something about a custody battle with some people's kids. I don't remember as much of it.

      Somehow I got to the arboretum and I was lucid. Coming down the trail along the pond, from where the baby snake was. (Waking life reference.) As I got to the parking lot area, I noticed Eckhart Tolle's voice was playing. 'Wow, my dream is doing Eckhart Tolle,' I think I thought. (I forgot what happened up until then, if there was anything.) I walked by some green plants and over some green plants growing in the middle of the trail. Eckhart Tolle's voice was saying, "It is possible to hide some feelings, it is possible to hide with..." And then he did one of those long pauses. I was thinking of how gentle and non-accusatory his voice sounded. Just very objective and calm. I thought the audio had ended, he paused so long. But he continued, "...thoughts." (So he said hide with thoughts. And I think he meant that it was possible to think thoughts in my head quietly without telling anyone what they were.)

      I was going to try to indulge in something but caught myself. I had set a goal to do something more constructive. So the first thing that came to mind was "Run!" So I ran and breathed deeply. It felt really good to run in the dream. I remember feeling my lungs expand. In waking life there is a lot of impact, so I can't really run, because the impact hurts. (I am only 5'10 160lbs but it hurts.) But in the dream I could run. Then I noticed the pond, like in waking life. In waking life its not really for swimming. More of a shallow duck pond with mirky water. but because I was lucid, and I knew it was a dream, I dove in to swim! It's been ages since I swam in a dream. The arm movements felt weird because I was dreaming that my body pillow was stuck to my chest. I switched to a back stroke and tried to look up at the sky, but there didn't seem to be a sky.

      After swimming out a little far I realized that I was in the water. And there could be scary fish! So I hurried up and swam to shore. Now instead of a hill, there was a squared-off level kind of like a Mario world. So I pulled myself up the ladder.

      Sure enough it was like a bedroom, a mario level thing, and then I could see a town of white mushroom-shaped buildings off in the distance. The town looked inviting and I wanted to run to the edge of the cliff and fly down to it. Then I looked into the open bedroom part and saw Jingles, my sister's cat. An orange cat. It was light orange with slightly darker orange striped. They had to give it away when they moved upstate.

      I tried to summon my sister so that she could re-unite with her cat. Around that time, a rainbow-striped cat appeared.


      The rainbow cat became a dark blue cat and seemed to be an adversary. It was scary so I escaped.

      I thought I had woken up but it was actually a red and orange map showing some houses. I had a mouse pointer and I noticed that the dream hadn't ended. I could click on one of the houses. There was one near the bottom left that lit up when I hovered the mouse cursor over it. That would be the one I'd click on.

      I forgot if it took me anywhere else. Eventually I woke up and thought them through. But had a false awakening. (An RBFA-FA!)

      In the false awakening I knew it was Wednesday morning (like in waking life) and that W A would be soon. When I checked my phone, it looked like it was already 8:10 A M! So I had missed the first 40 minutes. But the moderator, one of the women from the group, was just welcoming new people. So apparently the phone was an hour ahead and it was only 7:10 A M, and they were just welcoming new people who had arrived early. 'Well, thats nice,' i thought. My plan was to hook up the meeting to record it so I could do my dream recall.

      As I tried to hook up the phone to record I realized my dream memory was slipping away. Putting on the phone is not something I'd do until I'd at least recalled my dream fully, in a solid way, even if I hadn't recorded it yet. But then I wanted someone's contact information - One of the guys from the custody battle in the earlier part - So I could support them in winning custody. I forgot why, maybe the mom was worse. Or he was my friend.

      I got his contact information and it was a video chat thing. He looked angry. He had light brown/blonde hair. And was saying, "Learn to talk back!" In a rapper voice. I realized all this was delaying my dream recall, but I felt it was my only chance. I got to a point where I could stop on the phone and go to dream recall.

      I also remember the location shifted from my room, with the recorder under my bed, so the woods near the local library. Specifically near the tree where it goes toward someones back yard. And the blue houses.

      Then I woke up physically again and was really relieved that I hadn't really gotten up and disrupted my dream recall by going on the phone. I recalled what I could of the dreams. It seemed blurry in some areas, but still pretty good. I was happy with the lucidity and the eventfulness.

      I will try to sleep once more since its still pretty early. it's only a little past 6 A M.

      --------------------------------

      Well, I didn't get back to sleep. It was probably enough sleep. Trying to dial into W A woke me up too much.

      I just remembered kinda randomly that I dreamed of Pokemon Mystery Dungeon. First it was another kind of more complex game but then it was just Pokemon Mystery Dungeon. I can't remember if that was this night or a previous night.
    9. 3,314 Words - some eventful non lucids

      by , 05-29-2018 at 04:05 PM
      3314 words

      Closing comp at 7:09. Aiming to sleep by 8pm.

      ------------------------------

      Now its 4:01 A M. I woke up probably at 12 A M and 2 A M and recalled my dreams. But I was tired and let it go to RBFA. It wasn't until the third round of dreams I felt like getting up. A lot of details of the first 2 rounds stuck in my head anyway but I think to have recalled it perfectly, I'd still have been better off writing it all after each round. I kinda needed a break though, so its okay.

      ---------------------------------

      So the first round of dreams began with some stuff which I don't clearly remember now. I know that I initially remembered a bit more. Maybe it will come back as I write.

      What I remember is getting to this auditorium thing. And there were two guys facing off. One was going to punch the other. Then another guy sort of walked in between them quickly to help break it up but it was only for a moment and he kept walking by. The big guy didn't end up punching the smaller guy. Later, behind stage, the smaller guy was saying how he had post traumatic stress from that. Also, he had post traumatic stress from the guy's smoke smell. I was like, yeah, that smoke smell, is really bad.

      In another part, there was this mini saw-tooth razor on a wire or string. It was kind of floating towards me, and I had to grab it by the flat side, with my fingers, to keep it from cutting me. I managed to get away. But it turned out that it was worse than I thought!

      His intended use of the razor really upset me. I fought him on it, telling him it was wrong. He wouldn't listen, and we got in a bit of a fight. I think I had a gun but it was full of peanuts. I remember it more clearly the first time I recalled it. But I know there were some stairs. And I ended up telling the guy I don't want to hurt him.

      At the end of this round of dreams, I remember thinking of the word "adult". (I have a problem with the word "adult" in waking life, every time I hear it, I kind of cringe.) Well in the dream I didn't have that problem, and I was able to look at my inner child as the child within me, but to see myself as the adult in my contemporary life. The dream made me think about some things differently for a moment.

      So that was what I remembered of round 1.

      -------------------------------

      Round 2 of dreams came next! I remember it began with me at the grocery store in G C where the produce is, by the onions to be precise. Only in this dream, I was buying a 5 pound pack of raw chicken, a 5 pound pack of raw ground beef, and some other stuff. I remember talking to a woman there about it. There is another major detail OTTOTT and I wonder if it will come back.

      I remember the counter top in my Nana's kitchen was very dirty. B F was saying how it was already clean, but it clearly wasn't. So I took the sponge and started trying to clean it but it was stained brown.

      I remember walking in the woods at the arboretum. I had a book in my face, reading it out loud as I walked. But checking ahead of me every so often to see if anyone was walking the trail, because I'd be embarrassed if they saw me reading out loud / talking to myself. Something else happened there, I forgot what.

      I remember a post office truck, and a driver. The seat was bent funny and I wondered how it would support his head. The head part actually leaned forward too far. Anyway he drove into this building complex.

      I remember in that building complex there were some cubbies. I thought I would use the cubbies this way. One to be full of money. One to be full of water, in a giant rectangular tank. And one to be full of some sort of house titles or deeds, from real estate work I dreamed of doing.

      I wanted to do my writing out in the sun, but there was someone smoking. Or, I was afraid there eventually would be. I felt mad that the smokers could pollute my air any time and I'd never have any warning, and this made being outside a bad place for me. (I am not sure about this detail chronologically)

      I remember some guys doing a rap video. First they did some kind of talk where they said something like, "You know know," and then the other guy was like, "ohhh! That's what yo grandma said!" (Thats not a perfect recollection.) The rap video was actually about working out. It showed them doing pull ups and other workouts on a hanging fence and they rapped about the gym. Then the guy went into this one room. He was wearing a hat. But the camera man was giving him instructions for where to stand in the room, because he was recording him from outside. It might have been a bathroom, but he wasn't being recorded using the bathroom or anything like that.

      Eventually we all ended up on a slanted, paved hill, or roof. I remember it was about working out still. But I decided to just lay in the sun, with my head higher than my feet on the slanted hill. My sister laid down too five feet away or so. My mom was standing. One of the guys from the rap video was still there. I invited him to find a spot and lay down, too. Then I could narrate a guided meditation for us all, because I had been thinking of one in my head. I remember looking up at the sky. It was very white looking with some formations and images in it, I guess. Not sure. The guy found a spot like 5 feet away from my sister and I began the meditation. It felt very warm on the surface we were laying on. Mom couldn't join due to physical limitation. I got ready to start the guided meditation, and woke up.

      When I woke up, I was still going over the guided meditation in my head. I was thinking of how the guy in the dream was trying to work out all day, but he could probably benefit from some balance between physical exercise, meditation, journaling, and other activities. Not just training his body, but his mind and body. When I realized I had woken up, I started to recall the dream, and did surprisingly well.

      Those were also RBFA but I retained a lot of detail after the next time waking up. Not perfect recall compared to the first time remembering it, but given the trade-off for getting more sleep, it was okay this time.

      ---------------------------------

      Round 3 of dreams was even more vivid and eventful. I remember being on the phone with someone and telling them about W A. The phone was being weird, running out of battery, acting funny. And my fan was giving background noise that wouldn't stop so I wanted to pull the plug. The conversation seemed important. The guy told me he knew about in person W A meetings, every day, in my local area. I got excited and wanted the information. We kept talking but he didn't give me the information, so I waited. Eventually, he had to go! I was like, "Wait, what about the meeting information?" But he was off the phone by then. I would have to ask again later.

      I remember my Mom being nervous about a meeting on the phone. From an earlier dream (which I don't think I wrote) I remembered something about how in a dream, it's easier to re-frame an entire situation, cognitively. So then she could just imagine it was a dream, re-frame the entire situation cognitively, and be a happy camper. It seemed like over simplified advice though after I said it. (Some of these mental shifts in dreams have given me super powers in waking life, like last nights dream about my feelings suddenly not getting hurt.)

      I might have forgotten parts in the middle here. But I remember walking through a parking lot, probably after I had parked. I walked by the guy I was on the phone with before and prepared to ask about the meetings. A from S W T was there. I began a conversation with the guy but it was outside, so my eyes were darting around. Hyper vigilantly scanning for smokers. There turned out to be a pack of 3 on the side there, to our left. I told the guy, "Sorry, I can't stay out here. I'm allergic to smoke." And hurried inside before breathing any. (Unaware it was a dream.) I remember hearing from behind me, "He's allergic to smoke!" And A and the other people in that smoking circle said, "I love smoke!" As I went inside, I felt angry about 2 things. One, they don't "love smoke", they are in denial about their addiction. The nicotine has their brain wired to enjoy the smell but really it is harming them, similar to how the caffeine in coffee wires people to enjoy a taste which they are naturally repelled from as children. Second thing I was angry about was that their smoking addiction creates a by product (second hand smoke) which makes my air that I will have to breathe, not clean. So, they shouldn't be allowed to do it. I was internally fuming about this was I went inside.

      I remember sitting next to my cousin J. She had a can of tuna or other canned food, with a sterno base type thing beneath it, which it lit up. There was something about how she wouldn't sell it because it was so novel. I wanted to see it lit up but didn't actually get to asking. Someone in the front of the room was talking, I think. I forgot what it was about.

      I remember through the windows, seeing it begin to snow. The windows were really big. It showed a whole town. There were some really interesting mansions and the view panned around. Maybe it wasn't a window, but a big monitor or movie screen, because of how the world turned. It felt like I was looking out a window though. I remember this one mansion showed. It had a giant shaft thing with a pointed top poking up from it, like a bell tower or light house. There were holes in the walls, which I guess were for air flow, but I worried they'd let snow in.

      The next mansion was revealed from behind the first. They looked kind of like Taj Mahal buildings in some ways, with an indian design, but also other cultural influence. The dream mixed it all together very well. They were orange-brown with kind of red. Well, this mansion also had a shaft thing poking up, but on top of it was perched a purple air plane or space craft. The space craft activated and began to fly up. Beneath it was hanging a rope sort of thing made of several bulbs, with some bigger bulbs at the end. I was really amazed at this thing. The big bulbs at the bottom of its rope thing bumped into a mail box. This was shown from a zoomed-in fashion.

      Then the dream showed the run-way where the plane would take off from. It showed how the plane took off kind of lop-sided under normal conditions. But when they covered the whole run-way with slippery soap and weighed the plane down at the tail, it took off just fine. All of this testing must have taken a lot of money, I thought, and they'd have to make the movie tickets very expensive.

      Charlie Brown turned out to be the pilot for the movie. He was shown trying to fly the plane. It might not have looked exactly like Charlie Brown but it represented Charlie Brown to me in the dream.

      Then I was near the exit of this food store place. There were stacks of pictures on paper a little bigger than computer paper. Each picture was someone who had been murdered. Whoever had murdered the person was supposed to take the photograph of them. I wanted a giant stack of pictures to make drawings but didn't realize I had to have murdered the people to take them. (I haven't murdered any one!) So I had to give them back. They looked like women or rock stars. There was also a big comic book with pictures of an orange fiery character. I wanted to take the comic book with me, too. It looked cool. But it was just a prototype. I said, fine, I would just look up some screen shots on google images, and left without any pictures or comics.

      At some point there was this thing I did with hand movements. It was like I could move my hands in a figure 8 movement, and generate wind or energy. I thought I was working my arm muscles as well using air resistance. I'm not sure if this was at this time or earlier.

      Charlie Brown continued preparing for the flight, but there was something of how he wasn't strong enough. Then the dream showed Jimmy Neutron. Jimmy Neutron was training with an older scientist kind of man about how to use super strength. He didn't only have super brain power, he also had dormant super strength capacities, which had a specific name I forgot. Anyway it showed Jimmy Neutron playing in this video game view, with some kind of weights on his feet, and picking up heavy things. The weights were like big trapezoidal weights. At the end he grabbed a giant, heavy-looking key, and used it to open a door. This showed he had mastered his super strength.

      Then it was back to Charlie Brown in the plane. Now he had the strength, I think. He was older and had a pointy chin. The the dream showed that he was trying to resist his drug addiction. He kept saying he wasn't going to give in. Then, suddenly, he gave in, and smoked some kind of drug from a pipe. After he realized what he had done, he was like, oh no! But then began to suck his thumb. It seemed to me that the pressure of being an actor in this big movie and having to fly this big plane had become too much for him and he was having a mental break down.

      I remember after that, instead of being in a plane, it became the interior of a moving car. Six people were sitting shoulder to shoulder, some men and some women. They were all committed to doing some kind of really addictive and unhealthy drug together, while maintaining denial by only saying positive things. It made sense to me for a moment. Maybe if they could block out all "negative thoughts" (which would be thoughts that they should stop using, etc. which are actually important thoughts, just un-pleasant) then they would never have any problems. However at the same time, it showed that their supply of drugs had just run out.

      Their drug of choice was something in a can. It probably doesn't pertain to a type of drug from waking life, but was just something the dream created. They were desperately swiping the bottom of the can to try to get the last molecules of the drug. When it had finally run out, it showed that the group also had a hand gun. This was to commit suicide if anything went wrong! The woman on the far left (I was seeing this from accross from them so she was on my right) took the gun. Still smiling in denial, she put it into her mouth, to the back of her head, and pulled the trigger with next to no hesitation. Nothing really happened.

      Everyone else in the group kind of looked at her but didn't seem to care much. The woman on the far left held the gun and waited. "Nothing is happening! I feel pain, but I'm not dying!" she said. I figured she had missed the part of her brain which needed to be shot in order to kill her instantly. Ouch. (The rest of this paragraph is a little graphic so you might want to skip to the next paragraph, or read it, its up to you.) Well, blood began to pool in her mouth as she spoke. I couldn't watch. I could tell that the blood was going to basically pour out of her mouth as drool. It was dark red.

      "Can one of you please shoot me again so I die?" she asked. There was some pain in her voice but she also sounded like she was on drugs. I can't think of the word for her tone of voice but it was like when women go, "Oh, my gawsh, like, totally!" (I don't mean to be misogynistic, I am just trying to describe it.)

      Those dreams took a little over an hour to type. In the end I had to leave some as short hand notes until the next morning. If I am up for writing the dreams right after having them I do it. But this time I was so tired and needed to RBFA.

      ---------------------------------

      6:54 A M: I slept and didn't have many dreams. I just remember being at my Nana's. I went downstairs to get some food but saw that Nana was smoking. So I ran back upstairs to avoid the smoke. I brought a little pot of vegetables with me, thinking it was Kale. I ran back to my Nana's room and Aunt C was there. It turned out what I had grabbed was a little pot of green lettuce or cabbage. More like cabbage. It was supposed to be for Aunt C, but I had grabbed the wrong vegetable. She said it was okay, suggesting she didn't really need it. But I felt so bad that I ran back down the hall way to go down stairs. And in doing so, accidentally spilled it all over the floor. I felt pretty bad about that.

      I forgot what else happened there. The only other thing I remember is I might have woken up to the image of a cartoon fist coming at my face. Not sure why I think that.

      I probably had other dreams, but didn't remember them. It's funny because lately I remember most of my dreams between 12 and 5 A M. If I sleep after 5 A M it usually doesn't contain as many dreams, or not as many I remember. Where as I always heard there would be the most REM in the latest sleep cycles.

      Well, thats all for today. I feel pretty well rested. I think it was about 8 hours total sleep.
      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable
    10. 4,226 Words - selected parts in bold

      by , 05-28-2018 at 04:49 PM
      7:44 pm closing computer for bed.
      4226 words

      --------------------------------

      12:45 AM: So this has been my usual sleep, about 4 hours so far. And I had some dreams. Earlier dreams involved N H and M R. I forgot what. then there was something about G F and K F and how it was after school. And how we could go to a pool. I wanted to go swim but was worried I hadn't eaten enough. We talked about going for a swim then eating after.

      There was more stuff I forgot. But one was about being in this water slide thing. And there were apples or slices of pizza or some food. Some of it belonged to each individual. I think I was passing some peoples apples or whatever food it was to them.

      Then I remember it being something about a gym. There were a list of pod casts, one being about something, sleep, and something else, and many other podcasts. There may have been some weight lifting component. I remember some toys J G was trying to sell. He was very push and didn't let the other sales person talk. One was a Tigger robot kind of toy. I forgot the other. But I remember the big shelf of toys.

      There might have been a Pokemon game earlier now that I think of it. Not sure.

      Anyway after that, I remember a monopoly card hanging on the wall. Like the poster board ones that indicate each property a person could own. These had red in their color on the top and I think they said "CIRCUMCISION HURTS". However they might have said something else about circumcision. Anyway, I felt triggered, and said to the sales people about how circumcision (MGM) was bad.

      One of the sales people (not J G) said something mean to me. And some other mean things to me. Both him and J G tried to minimize the harms of MGM and I was initially angry. But then I realized that their insults to me were not hurting my feelings one bit. It was really amazing. I told them, "You, know it's amazing. Its like your insults are not even touching me." I didn't know it was a dream either, so it was really phenomenal. "It's like I'm doing such important work here (intactivism) that your mean words can't touch me."

      After that the insults ended, and it kind of shifted. B D was there coloring. I had a piece of paper and wanted to color with silver and gold colored pencils. My seat was at the head of the table. B D was to my left. Someone else was to my right. There wasn't a lot of room in front of my seat.

      Eventually, P S and maybe another woman came by, and wanted to sit down. There were two chairs and we wondered which to put at the head of the table, for the woman to sit down. (I seemed to be giving up my seat.) So P S told us that the one chair was more comfortable and we should use that. But I realized he was saying that so that we could use the less comfortable chair! And leave the comfortable one for him. Ha! One chair had cushioned arm rest things. They both had some padding. I was also thinking of folding my paper so that it fit in a tiny spot of table between B D and the other person's binder.

      I remember something about a spiritual teacher. A woman like M or R (thin, middle-aged, greyish blonde hair, short in stature) was saying how she listened to a spiritual teacher (someone like Eckhart Tolle) and he said she would have to go to work and actually work all day. Not have any side conversations. Not be distracted on the computer, social media, etc. Just work. This idea seemed preposterous and she laughed with everyone else.

      (I just remembered a cat. Maybe there was a cat at some point in the dreams.)

      Then I was putting contacts into my phone. I was going to write "Good Guy 1", "Good Guy 2", etc. Because it was for a team. One was R K. I might have been thinking of just putting a number as their name, like, "1", "2", "3", etc. But what if someone checked how I input them? It would seem too impersonal. I remember the back space key being in a random spot on the 3rd page of characters and I had to scroll to that.

      Then there was something with me in front of a box. And something about how a formal was coming up soon. I was looking through this box. Maybe there was a mirror, and other stuff. C P and G W seemed to be hovering around me. It occurred to me that they must be hoping I ask them out as a date to the formal. I didn't really want to go with either of them, since I wasn't that attracted to them, and I was just going to go alone. But I tried to be nice. And had to get changed.

      I went home, which was instant, I don't remember traveling. There were all these shelves of old books. I realized that everyone there would have smart phones with internet, so there was no need for me to bring a little hand held dictionary. It said something with the word "toe" on the cover which I would have felt embarrassed about if I'd brought it. The cover was kind of tattered.

      I was wearing gym shorts and a regular T-shirt. Not sure what I'd wear for the formal. Dad came in and I got an uncomfortable vibe. He had on a white button down shirt and khaki pants. He told me about how he asked a college counselor to give him the good schools to go to. And how he wouldn't settle for certain schools, listing them off with disregard. He eventually named the school he did go to and his accomplishments very pridefully. I sat in an armchair, sinking into it as I thought of what to wear. Maybe a button down shirt like Dad's. I was slowly realizing I couldn't go to a formal in gym shorts and a T shirt.

      Dad's speech reached a peak. "I worked and worked and worked and gave money to you, your mom, your sister, your mom, your mom, your sister, your sister, you, your mom, you, you, and now, you have no time for me!" And he was adjusting his pants which had become puffy camoflauge-designed canvas material kind of pants. "Now I'd like you to get your fist out of my face!" He said, breaking into tears. He had one hand in the air, open, but clenched in a way, like he was rock climbing, with no rock there. Right after he said that, I found myself in my physical bed (woke up) surprised that I wouldn't make it to the formal.

      It was such an intense ending that I woke right up and recalled it so vividly. Now that I've written it all, I will go back to bed. I have some R L S so I will do some exercises for that and hopefully get back to sleep shortly.

      ---------------------------------

      4:54 A M: I definitely slept a couple hours there and had a lot of RBFA. But I have a lot of the dream memories in mind, so I'll write them.

      First, I remember walking around the neighborhood. I had in mind one of those blocks to drive the car up on to for changing the oil. The triangular ramp things. A grey one. I couldn't find it, but there was a spoiler thing built into this Scion kind of car that came off and might look like one. I went to remove it and noticed a bunch of dark colored pick-up trucks. 'Okay, maybe I'll leave it,' I thought. (I think)

      Then I was on a school bus. I don't remember everything that happened but I am pretty sure that I had the grey ramp thing, a back pack, and some other stuff. The bus driver got mad at me because when my stop came, I couldn't get off the bus. I was still looking for my stuff. but the bus driver was mad and they just drove away from my stop without giving me the time.

      I had fallen asleep by trying to use the counting method but I don't remember getting past 70 or so. Oh, I think I had a chance to stay still at one point but it was too uncomfortable (urge surge) and I moved and broke it. I'm sure it would have passed if I had stayed still though, and I'd have dropped in deeper. I made it through some other intense rollover signals, but that one, I just must have been out of mental energy.

      So I found myself driving up the road by the campus of the college I went to. In my Mustang. I was pulled over. For some reason my eyes wouldn't open much. The police officer reminded me of Officer S. I had on my orange glasses. Then Officer S left and another officer (I'll call him Officer B but I don't know his name) came to my car.

      They had been telling me that my steering wheel was too far ahead. And that my steering wheel should be closer to my chest. So I did a joke where I pressed the steering wheel button to push it towards me, and then ended up having the whole thing push me all the way to the back seat. Officer B was mad. I told him it was just a joke, but he said it wasn't funny. I always get triggered by people with no sense of humor. They're so unreasonable.

      Then, I was in my back seat, and all these young kids came in the car. They bumped into me and stuff. I wanted to move but I thought the kids would have to leave my car, since I didn't know them.

      All the kids were wearing a similar outfit. Eventually, they must have left. Now I have some mental blank spots. I remember really needing a bathroom though, and none were available. I was getting mad. All the stalls were taken but I only needed to go #1 anyway. I found a stall with a toilet and a urinal and went to the urinal. The urinal was like one of those garbage cans thats built into the wall, except lower. It was already full of pee though. I tried to urinate anyway because I didn't care, and wound up urinating on my shoes.

      There hadn't been a door on this stall. But I figured it didn't matter. Also, everything was really gross. I had my hand up against the stall at one point, holding it. Then I felt some sharp claws dig into both my wrists and grab me from behind. This caused me some panic. It felt very physical.

      Whatever it was, it brought me out of the dream, and into my bed. It continued to hold me from behind, but now I only felt the sharp grip on my right wrist, and the grip on my left wrist wasn't sharp. I was in some sleep paralysis but was able to say, "Stop!" and then there was some silence while it continued holding me. It was very interesting when it replied to me, "Stop!" a bit louder.

      I said, "Why are you doing this to me? Please don't do this." But I also alternated between panic and then remembering to relax because it was just sleep paralysis.

      It brought me into a dream in which I was lucid at the onset. I turned around and looked at it. It was kind of shaped like a bowling pin, with blue, black and yellow. Maybe I will draw it. It had one eye at the top of the bowling pin.

      Another character who was also a similar shape told me I can't look behind me. That character will be behind me but I can't look behind me. I'm not allowed to look at it. If I do see it, I have to only look at its necklace which had a golden thing on it.

      I'm going to call the bowling pin guy "Pin" for now. So after that, we all sat on a couch. This felt like a very profound dream. I was a thin couch at first. There was someone, i think an old woman, to my left. We held hands. Then someone sat to her left. More people came, and they all squeezed in to the furthest seat on the left. The couch continued to stretch. I was surprised at one point to see that C S, E S, and I S.

      So, then more people joined. I asked the person next to me, "Are they all lucid, too?" And they said yes. I decided to cast a spell to extend the couch to my right. There were some wooden latch things that had to come apart but it worked. I felt cool about using a spell. I think more people sat down after that.

      "Pin" was up front now, going to teach us something. I think it was "Pin" or maybe it was the other bowling pin character, but not "Pin". (I'll have to try to break the rules and look for "Pin" in future dreams.) Anyway, I guess I woke up. This one was very lucid. But it wasn't a clear point to me where I woke up. At some point, I was awake, and had to go through some effort to think of the dream again.


      Eventually, as I thought through it, I fell asleep. (RBFA) There were some various parts to this. I'll try to put them in order.

      I remember something of trying to dream journal everything. And being in a class run by B D. Apparently he had gained a school position and everyone who graduated 10 years ago had to come take a test. His test was designed to kind of make people feel their life hadn't worked out. One of the questions was "Which of your expectations were not fulfilled" or something like that.

      So I saw through his plan. I was able to try to write the answers I felt good about.

      I remember some kind of thing in a cafeteria. Some kind of graphic design thing that is on the TOTT (OTTOTT?) but then I remember dream journaling, and seeing B W. I had a very complex idea of a dream journal in my mind, complete with a lot of drawings. But that was overwhelming me so I decided it was okay just to type it out in a simpler fashion.

      there was a part where I was on a roof. And I remember going up and down some stairs. Its kinda vague to me. I remember seeing this house with siding all around it. Then G M came out of there and sneezed. I said bless you. He rubbed his sneeze on me. I was not mean to him about it but kind of wondered why he thought that was okay. It got on my beard. Then I was driving around and I remember seeing this big orange house with brown doors at the T in the road I had got to. Thinking to myself about forgiveness. Forgiving others, forgiving myself, being forgiven, it was annoying me because they always emphasized forgiving others or being forgiven by others. Where as I thought that being able to forgive one's self should come first.

      I also remember finding myself in a cafeteria. Mom, dad and my sister were there. Eventually I went over and joined them. And had some french fries or something. This part is kinda vague.

      I remember another part of walking around the house at my parents old place. There were kids playing next door and they talked to me from over the fence. I forgot what they said, or I said.

      There was something about a frog and a rabbit running around. I had put each one in its own box for a day for some reason. This seemed cruel to me and I let it out. They pooped everywhere once they got out. It was human-size poops too.

      Then there was a girl who was trying to clean up after them. The rabbit's poop must have been tan because she had a bunch of that that she was cleaning. I remember in cleaning it, she had also left a mess, which I then tried to clean up after her.

      We got transported to a restaurant job kind of thing. I was at the front, setting this window that had fallen off. I had to reset all the metal rods and stuff. I remember just trying to open it, and the window panels just fell out of the wall. There was an electronic device that plugged into some metal rods. That was all the way in front of the restaurant.

      I felt connected to the girl, like I had a crush on her. There was a presentation starting. I was on staff there. I ran to the back of the room where I could see the presentations. I almost took the seat next to the girl but hesitated and ran and even slid on the floor to stand against the wall. I was like half-way in the chair near her when i changed my mind. Maybe I thought it was too bold of a move to sit near someone I liked. So I found myself standing between two table or counter top things. Standing made sense to me because I was a bus boy there anyway.

      So I looked ahead and there was some kind of presentation going on. It seemed to be a carry over of characters from previous scenes.

      So I've woken up from those and recalled what I could. I still feel sleepy and will try to sleep one more time.

      ---------------------------------

      7:18 A M: I had more dreams. Glad that I slept some more. I was in some sort of cafeteria thing.

      There was some stuff I forgot. But there was also some stuff about being signed on to a computer program. And the guy didn't want me to log out. I was saying some stuff, something angry, and he told the guy next to him to just breathe. So he did unilateral nostril breathing. I logged out of that program.


      I noticed I was still logged in to another program, too. I had to scroll around the screen a lot to log out of that one. But when I got out, I saw this really cool graphic of a Scizor. It was like the transition from being in that program to another. It spun and there was a ripple affect, with a lot of red and silver.

      I forgot all of what was going on. But, I got on this elevator thing. The first time, I think I was in a robot suit. I got in and it said help was needed on the fifth floor, so I went to the fifth floor. When I got out there were all these coolers full of mussels (black shell fish) and canned beverages. I pushed them out and found that they had to be pushed around a ramp that twisted around the outside of the building. Some of them fell over the edge but I was able to get most of them around. By the time I got to the bottom, it was a whole truck load. I figured if I'd brought it to the wrong place we could always bring it back up on the elevator.

      Then I walked around some more, and we had to go back in the building. Back in the elevator. This time with a few people. A woman was examining all these beads on the ground. She said we'd be better off leaving them for when the owners come to get them.

      The elevator door was about to close. Suddenly the woman said that if it turned red, we better all get out. Sure enough, it turned all read. Like night mode on a computer but with red tint and the black would be red.

      She ran out of there and I managed to just make it, too. I looked back and the elevator was lit up white. The other guys had been stuck in there. Not sure if they would be okay. It seemed to be because of their robot suits.

      I followed the woman around the building and saw her getting into this car with no windows. It turned out to be cushioned. I don't think there was a roof but the doors went up a few feet over out heads. it was a gold colored car with a beige interior and very soft. There was one more person in the back seat. We were safe there.

      Then I woke up.
      I'll try to sleep some more because I feel sleepy enough.

      ---------------------------------

      Well, I ended up realizing W A was at 7:30, so I went to that meeting. I thought I'd let myself sleep while I listened but it didn't work. Oh well, I think I got 8-9 hours of sleep anyway.
    11. 4,276 words - Selected part in bold

      by , 05-27-2018 at 07:51 PM
      I went to bed around 7:30, asleep by 8. Now, its 12:25AM, so I got 3-4 hours of sleep.

      I laid back down and almost let these be an RBFA, just because I felt so tird. But as I laid there, I was able to recall more and more, and they were very profound. I ended up recalling them and stillbeing awake, so I came to write after all.

      The earliest part I remember (and there were more than this) was being at the local food store. I think I worked there but might have just been a customer. The manager, or some other guy, was throwing out a bunch of chicken in the dumpster. I wanted to take some of that chicken instead of buying next chicken to save money and stuff like that. I think I felt guilty or had to ask someone.

      There might have been some parts with waiting on line at the grocery check-out there.

      Then, I remember vaguely, some stuff with some people from school. We were driving down B Avenue and then around the bend. As I went under the lights, I was thinking of, or seeing, a Pokemon game. It was showing how there were 3 to 6 different versions, and each one had different Pokemon. The version I was looking at seemed perfect. It seemed to have all my favorite Pokemon.

      So I drove down that main road and towards the school. Talking about directions with someone else in the car. To the right there was a road that led to B V. I explained to the passenger how I always ignore the signs to B V, and don't go there. (Was I the passenger or the driver?)

      Then I drove by the school and up to that T in the road. Going right would take me to B V (I think) and going diagonal right would take me into this golf course or resort area with a big gate. (It was like the arrangement at the T in the road from waking life, but with some reversals.)

      First I drove to the right, but got nowhere, and looped back around to the T in the road again. This time I went to the diagonal right. People were running chain saws to cut down trees. We got our car to one of the trees. maybe it was our job to cut it before we could pass. My normal waking life thoughts against cutting trees didn't seem to kick in.

      When the people ahead of us were done cutting, they left. We were left with this tree and a little Scion type of car in front of it. Maybe to haul the tree away.

      We got into the little Scion type of car, and tried to turn it on. The key wouldn't start. There was some fear or apprehension building about needing to get out of there. Maybe bad spirits. When we tried to turn the ignition on, it didn't work. Someone held the key all the way turned, and kept turning the engine, and I was afraid it would blow up. The radio began to show some different words on the LCD display, which had to do with the car not turning on, and being jammed.

      Then, we started to hear a voice, or feel a prescence. Something about "Kuralin Goku" (I think Kuralin is Japanese for Krillin but in this case, it didn't mean that, it was more like another version of Goku) appearing. He was saying how he was blocking the energy of the bad spirits, but it took him so much energy to do so, that it was almost ironic. There was something like me feeling a packet of Retainer Brite tablets and ripping off a little corner. Something with a little Gohan character being really eager to talk to this "Kuralin Goku" character. Vegeta was also there, and was astounded. Regular Goku was there too.

      Then the dream unfolded a piece of paper and showed "Kuralin Goku". He had a big neck and maybe golden ear rings. Also his face looked kind of like Vegeta. It was saying how he would become Green Goku, and I imagined Regular Goku fighting and winning against Green Goku, and gaining the power.

      After a while of that, there was this motorcycle guy who was like, "Stop all this! Stop all this!" He just couldn't take it any more and thought it was all nonsense. His face showed on two panels, exclaiming that this had to end and we had to go, basically. So it ended and I think we left.

      Then the dream played some music. There was one song I don't remember. There was another song that was kind of like Bon Iver. The guys were playing a gentle keyboard, and then one vocalist was singing gently. I forgot the exact words but the music video showed a religious text opening up. So it was religious music. It showed various verses of the religious text.

      One caption said something like, "2325 helps". 2325 was a verse in there. So it showed a bunch of verses side by side. Also the song seemed to be about his mom's passing.

      Kind of simultaneously, I was in my room, watching something on T V. (In my parents old house) It was becoming kind of violent or scary and I wanted to turn it off. No problem all I had to do was turn it off. Except my sister's T V was playing something violent and loud in her room. I wanted to ask her to turn it down or off, too. And went to the bathroom.

      In there I was thinking of what I saw in one of the verses of the religious text. It was mentioning different forms of anger. Like "Anger: ______" (fill in the blank). There were lots of other varieties of anger listed but the one I remember happens to be "Anger: Demonic". Anyway as I was in the bathroom there, I thought of the possibility of making my own movie or anime using all the variations of all the emotions listed.

      There was some kind of scary wiry or sinewy creature on one of the movies that played.

      Okay, that's nice to have that all written. I feel like I won't fall back asleep easily. But anyway I guess I'll do some LD reading until I get sleepy.

      ---------------------------------

      cool! Just did a bunch of reading on r/luciddreaming. That's a very active forum. Now I feel sleepy enough to sleep again. (Its 1:45 AM... Wow I do 2 hr WBTBs!)

      --------------------------------

      Now it's 3:06 AM so I only slept 45 minutes or so, putting me at 4-5 hours.

      After reading r/luciddreaming I was inspired by some threads to try the counting method. I laid down and at first was annoyed by my fidgeting. But started to count, "1, I am breathing in, I am dreaming... 1, I am breathing out, I am dreaming... 2, I am breathing in, I am dreaming..." (and on and on, I actually got to the 70s and maybe even the 100s) Focusing on that mantra seemed to get me towards a state where I was dropping out of consciousness but would re-gain it. I remember beginning to get dream flashes of a red fence going into a bush. Something white... That I forgot. (TOTT) And also some gold text on a black back ground with words I was trying really hard to keep a hold of in my head, but don't remember now.

      I had some non-lucids in the beginning, then I would wake back up and recall the dream and resume counting. One involved being at my current house. There was a giant squirrel in the drive way. I was like "Wow, giant squirrel!" And then it scurried away. It kinda scared me and through dream logic I made sense of why squirrels can be that big. My sister was out there with me. There was a bush in the front of the driveway. I remember something about there being a blanket in the bush that I could sleep in, but there was a mole in it. And something about it being wet.

      There was also a part in my Nana's room where I had to hide by Nana's fire place, behind a chair. Then, I was out of hiding, but the dog was drawing attention over to the fire place. I had to admit to my sister I had hid by the fire place. (Although I'm not sure why I hid.)

      Then I think I had my first lucidity where I found myself in my room, and stood up in bed. (Might have been separation.) I looked around, and saw it dimly lit in my room. I wasn't sure if I had really stood up. I dove back into bed and landed right on my neck. Luckily, it was a dream, and I just returned to the void. I must have pretty much known it was a dream.

      I also remember being in my room at another point, lucid.

      In my room I managed to pull off my eye cover and then get it to be brighter. It is very often I dream I'm wearing an eye mask, and have to take it off in order to see more clearly. I remember on the wall by my desk, where my grid of photos is, I had a poster of some actor with multi-colored pixelation. Blue, neon green and neon red/pinkish color. It was groovy. I was trying to put that up.

      There might have been some more words I was reading. One of the words was so interesting, starting with the letter 'a', but I lost it.

      There might have been another scene. It feels like something is there but I can't get to it. Maybe it wasn't, though.

      This next scene was really fun. I found myself walking towards a brick building. I had just come back from a walk in the woods. The sky was bright blue. It was sunny. I saw some kids wearing black up ahead.

      Realizing that I was in public now, not just the woods, I went to put my shirt on. Then I realized it was a dream just by the fact that I had been falling asleep consciously enough. To test it, I jumped up, and found myself flying. (That's how I tested most of my dreams in this sequence, and when I succeeded in flying, it was a great feeling!)

      I figured I would land on the roof of the building. The sky was bright blue. I heard 2 groups of kids on the ground going, "Wow! How did you learn to do that?" The clouds were a mix of puffy white ones, and then these square outlines. "Lucid dreaming!" I yelled out in return and it sounded through the whole sky.

      Having made it above the roof, I let myself fall. I was going to land on the roof on my back. I felt the fear of the pain of colliding with the roof but realized it was just a dream. I even heard of someone feeling ecstatic from hitting the ground after a long fall. So I just spread my arms out and relaxed, and when I collided with the roof, I woke up. It felt really cool and not painful at all.


      There was another part in being lucid in my room, and trying to manifest something. When I awoke in my bed, I realized I could have probably manifested it if I'd tried to manifest it behind my room door. But that was after I'd woken up.

      The last dream I had was interesting. Got up from bed again, pretty sure it was a dream. It was close, though. My chair was right where it would be in waking life. I thought of tipping it over but I was like, "Wait, if its waking life I don't want to make a mess." I walked accross the room and saw a red square on the wall, dimly lit. Other than that there wasn't much light in the room. I felt it, and it felt like I had hung up a Charizard card on the wall. 'Yep, this is just like waking life,' I thought. (It really isn't there in waking life.)

      I started to feel the wall and think that I had gotten up physically. Before I could do a finger palm test, I saw that the door to my room (I was in the corner by the door) began to be sucked into the corner of the room. 'Oh! It IS a dream!' I thought.

      Feeling some fear, I turned around. Maybe someone was coming to battle me! There was an air conditioner in the middle of the room, running. I could feel the cool air coming out. I think I tried again to manifest something I wanted, but it didn't work. I jumped 5 or 6 feet up on top of the air conditioner (it was on a table) and then jumped from there up through my ceiling. I passed through it fairly well. (Didn't remember to practice walking through walls much though as I was too pre-occupied with manifesting something else, which I really didn't need to, and wouldn't have been as constructive.)

      At first I got stuck in the ceiling. But then I thought, 'No. this dream isn't ending.' and pulled myself through. I found myself in a computer lab with lots of computers. I flew to see what was on them.

      This dream made me think of how I want to use my lucid dream time more constructively. Anyway I woke up from that last part and thought it through. My memory was pretty thorough. Some details continued to trickle into my mind as I wrote. I'm really happy with the counting technique and will try again next time, if I can muster the concentration skills.

      Oh! I just remembered. I actually did try charging my hands to form a super-saiyan-style aura, but didn't get it.

      ---------------------------------

      Ok, wasn't sleepy yet, so read more r/luciddreaming. Now its 4:34 and I feel tired again. Back to bed!

      ---------------------------------

      Now it's 8:03 AM. I probably got another 2-3 hours of sleep putting me at 6-7 total. Lot of RBFA but intentionally.

      The earliest thing I remember is a dream of a guy who ate chocolate. Then he was concerned about having eaten the chocolate, and worried about his health.

      I remember a part where I was on a lucid dreaming sub-reddit. Only, it was much slower. It was called r/deepluciddreaming but seemed connected to World of Lucid Dreaming Forum so I thought of Dr. Clare Johnson. There was some kind of wild hologram thing that appeared at the bottom. Maybe I was lucid in these early ones.

      I think the next dream was of riding on this raft thing. But a Jamaican guy was making fun of me. He was with his family. Something about riding the raft, he made fun of me for. Also, I was going over a word document, and inserting a colorful picture. But someone was making fun of me for that. Meanwhile they were saying all this stuff about conspiracy theories and I never once mocked them (not that I would) but I explained to them how I hoped for the same courtesy.

      The picture I was using got too big for the word document and I couldn't get rid of it. It broke into parts when I tried to highlight it. My Dad came by and commented on the picture of several Pokemon standing in a pyramid. The colors were inverted on my monitor.

      Then I guess next was the part of me parking my Mustang in the parking space somewhere foreign. I remember it was almost out of gas, and I watched the gas meter go all up and down after I started it up until it settled on a little less than a quarter full. I was going to leave it there to fly home or something because it was a foreign place. I think an Eastern European place.

      Next I was walking by some docks with boats. My fore-head was all crusty and I had to rub it off. This was one of those moments when it was more clear I thought I was in waking life, not a dream. Anyway I walked by some women loading a boat. Then into this auditorium place. it was very luxurious, for wealthy people, but I had no need to be there.

      Suddenly G A walked by me. I was pretty surprised to see him even though he would be one of the wealthy people at a place like this. I think we talked for a moment. Then I got to a room where several family members were distributed into different corners of the room. One was the beer corner with Uncle M and Dad, i think. One was the liquor corner with some relatives who drank liquor. And some others. I remember actually sipping a tiny bit of liquor through a tiny straw. 'What am I doing? I'm losing my sobriety count!' I thought, as I flipped a bottle cap in one hand.

      Then I walked around and got to this building. There was something going on with several textbooks and my sister was there. I read the books in a funny voice.

      So there was a part after reading the books where I thought I was in waking life at that point, but the other dream about drinking had been a dream. (What's that called? When you're still dreaming, and not lucid, but you realize the previous dream was a dream?) Anyway I was sharing on a meeting about how I could become lucid during those dreams. After me I was surprised to hear a woman named Marietta (no waking life correspondence) begin to proclaim how it was possible to get lucid in a dream using this beverage. It was a colored beverage, like kool-aid in a baby bottle. It's color was off, but could be restored by shaking it up. Because the color was stored or absorbed into the bottle cap thing. So she shook them all up and then they were perfect.

      After that, I remember walking through the Arboretum, on another phone meeting. Or thinking about how on a previous meeting, someone had said that no one could talk about suicide any more. This didn't bother me. But someone else objected, saying that it was important for someone to get support if they needed to talk about that. What bothered me was that someone suggested lucid dreaming not be allowed to be discussed. Since I had brought it up, more people brought it up, too. And it was taking over the meeting focus while not being as directly related. I could understand that but wasn't happy with it.

      At the arboretum, instead of green leaves, all the trees had white flowers. And all the ground had white flowers and white flower petals. It was kinda cool.

      I vaguely remembered something from being at the shower at my parents old house. Not a very clear memory, though.

      So, that was it! It was a good move to just stay on r/luciddreaming until I felt sleepy again.
    12. 1,352 words, selected parts in bold

      by , 05-26-2018 at 12:00 PM
      1352 words

      Closing computer at 7:30. I read alot of LD material today on r/luciddreaming and did more RC's than usual. Esp. when seeing smokers, a major dream sign. Let's see how this one turns out.

      ---------------------------------

      12:27 AM: I had some early dreams. One thing with my Uncle C that was forgotten. Another thing with MB and getting a 4-4 on a test, but 4-4 was a perfect score. So he was very impressed as he handed it back to me.


      Then went back to sleep. I dreamed that I was on the beach. The local beach accross from another state. Everyone's parents were supposed to teach them to fly but they never taught me. So it was about how them not teaching me to fly stunted my development.


      There was a forum thread about a website called somethinghopeless. It was about some kind of game. I posted something in there. It was eventually closed, probably because it linked to an outside link for something the main website couldo do.

      My Dad had to leave early due to a flight. Mom thought he was going for gambling but I told her it was some kind of helpful purpose. I really thought so. Later in te dream, Dad had a jet pack thing that he could use to fly. It was dark grey and shaped like a rocket. It showed him landed in this pool place in a hotel resort, deciding where to set up his tent.

      It was kind of fun because my Mom and I got to be flown around by him carrying us and flying around. We had to go somewhere. Almost got caught in the place Dad was scoping out as a grey van drove by and we were there too early. I remember trying to climb back up the fence with nails as foot posts. (facing in) and someone kept saying something like, "You wish you know now what you knew then" or "You wish you knew them what you know now".


      A big bodybuilder fellow came over and gave me a piggy back ride. I was supposed to be figuring out how to put my shoes on. There was some heavy metal music and he kept saying how he would squat 315 for 6.

      Then it showed this hip-hop music video thing with a series of curtains I'd pass through. I told C I sisn't like this kind of thing.

      Well, I don't remember those very clearly but enough of them. I had a good day but didn't practice any waking life recall. Just didn't want to. So, IDK if that will lower my dream recall tonight. I will just be aware of the results. There are also other factors like its much hotter tonight. Anyway, I probably slept 3 hours so far.

      --------------------------------

      I had some RBFA. One ended with a video game type of thing and something about "honesty". There were some kind of monster spiders. I think there were 4 police officers who caught the monster and stabbed it to death and came out covered in blood. The video game itself was very surreal.

      Then I woke up, re-remembered that, went back to sleep.

      In the next dreams I remember my friend M S taking care of a young kid. His mom L C was watching. The kid coughed up one smaller black and white fur ball and then two big (3-6 inch diameter) fur balls. It looked very painful for the kid, like they had been in there a while. I think L C was mad at M S for that.

      THen it showed this red devilish kind of character talking to another character. They were in a parallel universe to the one in the dream, but overlayed in the same "location". The devilish guy made it so that M S could see the parallel universe through his telescope. Then there was some kind of arrangement made, maybe about helping the kid.


      I remember another part where O A helped me remember the video game dream I forgot. It was amazing. I wasn't even lucid. I was in a class room setting and the topic of dream recall came up. I yelled at O A and the other people for not recalling their dreams right when they woke up, then eventually changed my tone to admit how I was sad that I had forgotten my dream that night. (That seemed alot healthier and I felt bad about yelling at everyone.) O A showed me a screen with my entire video game dream from before that I'd forgotten. I still don't remember it now but I remember seeing it like, "Wow! That's it!" And when I think about it I think it was the same dream.

      There was this part about jumping up and evading fire balls. And another part in a building with an outline of a character. Kind of surreal or hard to put into words now.


      There was something with a dome thing. And then a woman character opening the door to the dome thing. I'm not sure exactly what that one was.

      My Dad had bought presents for my sister online. They were shoes in a box wrapped in some kind of soft wrapping material. Semi transparent white. And another heavy gift. I was to put those somewhere.

      There was a part where I was sitting in a chair, skinning a sweet potato. In the kitchen. It was morning. I felt really driven to complete my food prep in the morning for some reason, even though I felt adrenalized. And wouldn't have any time later because I was thinking of my school day. Physical Education class had been last Friday so it wouldn't be this Friday (alternating days). While I skinned the sweet potato, someone named Doug was on the phone meeting, making a pun about grandparents. Dad was also cooking right behind my chair and so it was kind of crowded in there.

      I remember going to the class or school thing but then trying to get to play outside instead. I had been afraid to rest that morning because I was afraid if I laid down I would never get up. Interesting because I am trying to address and let go of that fear in WA.

      Below part is my analysis of why my recall lagged:
      Spoiler for Why my recall lagged:
      [/SPOILER]
      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable
    13. 3,940 words - beast wars dream in bold

      by , 05-25-2018 at 01:34 PM
      Closing comp at 7:24 PM. I studied alot more LD material today esp. lots of threads on r/luciddreaming.

      -------------------------------

      12:00AM: I must have slept from 8:30-11:30, making 3 hours. Dreamed of a meeting. A 7:45 meeting on a Monday, being held in the B Intermediate School. I wondered why E, the same speaker, got to speak again. It was a beginner's meeting.

      Second, There was an interesting video game with a mix of Pokemon characters and Mario. I remember jumping on one thing over and over. It produced coins like in Mario and they they became blue coins, coming out faster. I remember walking along the Mario level and it got to one of those parts where lots of tubes all came out to try to crush Mario or the character at various points.

      Third, involved walking along some docks and bridges, around some water. The water was somethigng not swimmable, I think. I remember talking to someone about not going in the water. Although I think I had gone in.

      Then I was taking a shower in Nana's upstairs bathroom. The water was going half in the tub, half onto the floor. I remember thinking of cleaning off from the unsafe water by the bridge. Maybe I had a boat there?

      Fourth part involved some stuff at a gym. I had music and a music mixer thing showing red wave forms on a black background with white grid lines. I was sorting through a few hip hop songs. It was pretty intense rap music, about "I will win" and meant to pump me up. I don't listen to that kind of music now, so in the dream, I wondered if this was good for me.

      Fifth, involved a mix of things. Some relatives kept telling me JL was dying, but it seemed like they had said so over and over. So I didn't believe them. I was driving in a car by GA's office in LV when I noticed street signs saying, "Atheists who will go to Heaven." And another one out front of a very old school church saying "Atheists who will go to (H-E-double-hockey-sticks) (the actual word)". I remember being appauled at the sign in front of the old school church. I turned up BH Road and at the top of the hill, was another house.

      ND was taking some heat in there about something. I forgot what. They were taking away his spot in a presentation or show maybe? I don't remember specifically except a group of people standing around him, kinda bullying him.

      Sixth? I was in a room upstairs of my Nana's house, and we all had to stay in the room to be safe. I remember drawing this bug body but with six giant spikes coming out and two big spiky fangs. That was one of the "demons" or monsters that would get any of us if we went outside.

      I wanted to go out to get something, but was warned not to go out there. If I did, the "demons" would get everybody. I really had to use the bathroom though. (Now that I think of it, I think I had an earlier dram where I went to take a bathroom break, and then was afarid they'd think I was gone for too long. That one was at a toilet.)

      Seventh? I found myself walking along a parking lot. I think some stuff happened that I forgot. But what I do remember is a woman trying to spray some kind of chemical in a car that was supposed to put a guy in there to sleep. She had the guy go into the trunk and then she closed it and sprayed the stuff in his face and in the car. I watched from a distance, scared to see this.

      Then I was working at a restaurant, and YS and his family came in. YS wore a red plaid shirt. He looked just like waking life. His prescence was very reassuring. He sat with the rest of his family.

      Somehow I got the guy out of the gassed car. Then there was a woman who had water. She wanted lemon water, with the lemon wedges all nicely cut, showing on top of the water. I realized no lemon wedges had been cut so I went to go cut them. So I could make her a glass of water. She may have been the woman who did the gassing.

      So, I think that was it. Not sure if it was seven separate dreams but it was like seven parts, at least that I could remember, on top of parts I'm sure I forgot. Time to go lay back down. hopefully sleep comes easily.

      ---------------------------------

      ~3:45 AM, I slept another 2-3 hours. Had an RBTS with the first set of dream details, where I seem to have lost some. Maybe they'll return.

      First, or earliest I remember, were maybe some vague fragments about older women or highway driving with my dad and rest stops.

      Second earliest part I remember was outside this gym. They had these orange cylindrical cones set up over holes in the ground which led to cesspools. So they lifted those off to work on the cesspools. The whole place smelled like cesspools.

      The smell and liquid got everywhere. I was afraid I had gotten it on my clothes too. I had a gym bag or duffel bag with all my stuff. Other people were trying to get in through the door. But I was leaning over, trying to keep a grip on my gym bag.

      People kept rushing in to the door and I wasn't able to stand up and carry my bag in. Eventually I forced my way in and someone (MB?) kinda expressed annoyance with me. "If I just keep waiting for everyone to pass by, I'll be holding the door for everyone," I explained. He kind of understood.

      Washing machines were available. I started to put my clothes in the washing machine. Confident that it would completely remove all of the odor from the cesspool materials. I remember the white washing machine and thinking of it after I'd gone back upstairs.

      Thirdly, there was something about being outside a gym again. (I am not sure if this is perfect sequence and I know at some point I woke up, remembered some of these, and went back to sleep. So I did recover some details from the RBTS but not all.) But I had been asking the people from the gym to bring me my protein shake if I left it there. They seemed to have forgot and I was angry. Then one of the guys came with a blue protein shake, offering it to me. I couldn't accept it, because I realized that I had left my shake in my locker. That meant that it wasn't their responsibility to replace it.

      Fourthly, there was a scene where my Nana and Dad had made big shelves of steamed broccoli and kale. I ate lots of it with no problem. However, they couldn't get my sister to eat any. They were asking me how to get her to eat some but I didn't know. All I knew was that I was willing to eat it! And a lot!

      Fifthly, I was in this class thing where the teacher was going around, checking in with each of us. I was scooping peanut butter I had made out of the jar and into something else with my finger. I told the teacher I had clean hands and the peanut butter would be clean. he was really impressed for my attention to clean hands. I think he told the rest of the class. I felt weird about it though.

      Then G was doing some jars too. There was some discrepancy about putting the jars in and alternating what jars we used based on the day. Every few days a new jar.

      Some dirty dishes came to my attention at the end of the table, against the wall. When I noticed them, I told G. I was like, we can't just let those sit there! And so we went to clean them.


      Sixth, was a Beast Wars dream. It began with Megatron (first season) facing off with Optimal Optimus and Depth Charge. "Megatron! Terrorize!" He yelled, and then his cannons shot downward into the ground, propelling him up 50 feet while he finished transforming in midair. As he flew up, missiles continued to rain on the ground, briefly missing Optimal Optimus and Depth Charge. They shielded themselves a little.

      They were in a snowy terrain. There was a higher mountain top above them and a cliff face with water way below them. Optimal Optimus caught wind of Scorponok and another Predacon (Quickstrike?) trying to sneak up on them. He turned around and blasted them with shoulder cannons. (I saw that from 1st person view.) They were sent flying.

      Meanwhile Depth Charge was shown contending with Megatron who was a mix of transmetal and season 1 forms. It showed Depth Charge outstretching his arm with a cannon in hand and shooting. His missile got lodged directly in Megatron's gattling gun cannon, causing an internal explosion.

      Still, Megatron landed, and tackled Optimal Optimus into the water. They fought upside down, stabbing each others weak points (their joints). Eventually, Megatron removed Optimus' face mask and revealed a human face, and they said some words to each other. I was scared Optimus would be hurt. At this point Megatron was closer to Transmetals 1 Megatron but didn't look much like Dragon Megatron.

      Oh yeah and it was like between night and day. not too bright not too dark.


      Seven was a carryover from something on r/luciddreaming. There was a younger fellow in my room who also lived there. He had to go to school but we were talking about telekinetically using a marker to make a dot on the paper, and seeing if it was there upon awakening. I tried it with blue and orange highlighter, and saw it actually work. (I don't even have such highlighters on my desk anywhere in waking life.)

      There was also some talk about chest and waist measurements. I thought that I don't really do body measurements now but I used to in high school when I bodybuilded. He had to go to school. It was still kind of dark out, like not sun rise yet.

      Eighth involved a Grey Sheet meeting. I was trying to put on a belt but there weren't enough holes. The smallest notch on the belt still left it very loose. However all the way at the end of the belt were a series of holes separated only a quarter inch. I tried those and it still didn't fit properly meaning I must have thought I was very thin.

      I had some kind of food in front of me, maybe pastries. The woman up front said how sometimes when people take a "gentleness break" they stay that way and go into a full relapse. She asked me, like, "Charles, isn't that right?" I think I agreed. She was saying how I had made that mistake, but I wasn't sure if I really had.

      Ninth part was about being on an internet forum. Light gray back ground and dark text. There was a thread about a church with the letter P in the name. And a drop down menu of different threads. (I am on forums alot each day so it makes sense to me that I dream of being on a forum! They are so variable though that it's hard to use them for checking if it's a dream.)

      Something about seating position and how it affects certain religions.

      There may have been a funny Pokemon part.

      Ten, Then there was a list of funny videos I was arranging. They had people with very ghostly make-up or funny ancient-looking letters. One was a joke video of 2 girls joking about predicting the future. The other said the word "lies" right on it. So it was just silly.

      Then 2 guys were teaching on one video. It was kind of about lucid dreaming, sort of. They wrote a word with the letter A but transformed it at the end by writing lots of c's or s's that made it look like a whole nother word. The guy said "That's what you'll become" or something like that, as a warning.

      I was laughing out loud at this next part as I recalled it. it seemed very silly. The guy was saying how no one eats chocolate. Not in their coffee either. He had a jar of powder. It was labeled, "Butter nut and squash" and it was powder that he put in his coffee. They said some other funny things.

      So I woke up from those, recalled and recorded them. Couldn't quite reach back all the way to the RBTS dreams. However I could recover some. Feels like a healthy balance between sleeping and recalling, though. Now its 4:26 AM so I've been up writing this for about 40 minutes. I guess that's a good WBTB duration but there comes a time when I just have to leave a little "tag book" and go back to bed. (short hand notes) I usually like writing it all directly after though because I don't think I'll be as interested later.

      ---------------------------------

      Now it's 7:13 AM. I must have slept from 5 to 7 but not all the way through. So I'd estimate I have 7 hours of sleep total. Remembered a lot of dreams. I re-remembered a lot of the RBTS but some of the early RBTS ones were forgotten.

      First memories involved living at either Nana's or my parents' old house. I wasn't using the toilet, just various containers in my room or around the house to go to the bathroom. My Dad and sister were beginning to object to this, and insisted that I use the toilet. I think I was frustrated because it was a difficult habit.

      Second, I was in my room at my current house. The police were coming, but not because I was the bad guy. They had framed me as the bad guy to lure in the actual bad guy, who they would then capture. After that, the plan was to parade me around town, telling everyone I was actually the hero, so no one continued to think I was the bad guy. This was to be done on the sidewalk.

      Then it showed a guy in a tree house thing. He looked like Christian Bale, I think. He was the bad guy. He didn't believe in equality or helping others and he thought no one else should either. He had a container of dirt to use as a cushion.

      A woman came in and started to talk to him. She was kind of his girlfriend. She wore a dress. She began to tell him her feelings about some things in her life, in a vulnerable way. He wasn't supportive at all. He began to tell her she didn't really feel that way, and shouldn't. She got really upset and eventually left. I think they broke up.

      After that I think was when I was in a gym. Trying to use the stair master thing with the handles (that also give a back workout at the same time) but M was also there. She was kind of blocking it because of her computer thing on a table. It was standing up like an iPad might be. She had a little boy with her who she was watching.

      I was looking online for a phone meeting. At the same time I was on another phone meeting in my kitchen, putting something in a tupperware. There was a lot of excitement about so many people being named "Julie" or their name sounding like "Julie" and someone eventually said lets just get on with the meeting. They were saying how when they don't want to eat casserole, because they don't like casserole, they just give it to their pup. And they don't feel guilty. It was like a white casserole thing. Someone else was saying that if they are served meat, they make sure to eat it, to not waste it. Due to feeling guilty about the animal. BTW I think the casserole had barbecue sauce on it.

      At the same time, I was clicking over a map of the united states. Some states were highlighted that I wanted to un-highlight. This was so I would be able to view a list of phone meetings only for one state, instead of all these others. The woman who was able to feed the casserole to her pup was from one big state in the upper left of the map, which I clicked on to de-activate.

      Then it showed her wearing a big orange puffy dress and getting into a limosine thing that was really only one more seat long than an actual car. It was black with shiny silver framing. The house and the limosine thing all looked very luxurious, like they were a very wealthy family. She continued to talk.

      I noticed that suddenly there was a man in the drivers seat talking as he drove. It transitioned in a way that seemed like one morphed into the other. She had been getting into the middle door but now it was the driver talking. I think he was the husband though. He had white-grey hair and a suit on. He began to speak about all the difficulties that men have to go through. He listed 6 to 10 but I clearly remember him naming Dragon Ball Z as one. I was crying. I felt my head between two things kind of secured in place. I'm not sure if I became the driver or if not, where else I was. But the car went through a run-down city. Kind of a bad neighborhood. I wanted to tell the guy that he should list circumcision as one of the harms to men, but it felt like I was just listening to an audio, and couldn't really talk to him.

      Tears were coming down my face. I had a helmet thing made out of a sideways toilet paper roll. Some other guys in another car saw my crying toilet paper roll head and didn't like it, so decided to start following me. Then I was scared. I became a big four-legged animal thing, being chased by a giant ant with big fangs. They were gaining on me. I managed to slip through this door that sealed off that world, and they couldn't get through behind me. But it sure was close.

      I resumed being a humanoid person and found myself boarding a train. I was really thirsty and just just enough change to buy a water. I also remember something in Nana's living room with the tarrine thing. I asked the guy if there was a moment for me to buy a water from the vending machine but he said no. It was time to leave. he was African American. And so I got on the train, thinking of what an adventure I had been through. I thought about how when I got home, I would be glad to be somewhere peaceful and quiet, and have a lot to reflect on. I wouldn't need any more adventures any time soon.

      My plan was to get the train to take me to the local grocery store. Then from there, call my Dad to pick me up.

      The dreams seemed to be continuations of each other even though I woke up a little in between. I wonder if I dreamed one more time if I'd have arrived safely home but I guess in a way I did arrive safely home, in my physical room. (Just checked if I was dreaming and no.)
      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable
    14. 4,915 words... "Peak" LD in bold

      by , 05-24-2018 at 03:06 PM
      Getting off comp at 7:24pm..

      --------------------------------

      12:28 AM: I must have been asleep by 8-830 and slept until 12 so thats 3-4 hours so far.

      I am sure there was stuff even earlier that I forgot. Maybe even cool stuff!

      The earliest I could remember was a scene of driving with my sister in the back seat and a woman in the passenger seat. I don't know who the woman was. In a convertible, on kind of a busy road place.

      We were passing around an mp3 player, trying to figure out how it worked. There were little buttons and the one in the middle made it into an mp3. It had the same digital quality as an old school Tamagatchi or Gameboy (first gen). There was a headset jack adapter, wire thing, and an actual headset. The woman kept trying to throw it out the window. I would stop her, like, "What are you doing?!" And kept the mp3 player, I think.

      Then I pulled over on the shoulder, but on the left side of the road, near one store. I wanted to pull up this one way steep sloped driveway but I was on the exit side. I decided to pull through anyway, hoping no police officers were nearby. But it was such a busy place, it was likely there would be. I pulled up anyway, hoping for the best. "Don't! You'll damage the road!" Said my sister. 'Damage the road?' I thought to myself. 'If people don't damage the road going down it, I won't damage it going up it. And, doesn't she mean damage the car?' But I didn't say that.

      I pulled up the steep slope and all the spots to my right were full anyway. Slanted a certain way, I think mainly head-in. I don't know if it would have lined up. There was a guy with a cigarette hanging out his window so I rolled my windows up before any second hand smoke got in. It wasn't a convertible at this point.

      I had to keep pulling through because there were no spots. However I ended up using a bathroom. My sister was worried that I would get in trouble. Sure enough, a police officer came. There was something in my mind about how I would stay in the bathroom stall a moment, and that would help me not get in trouble.

      Standing over the toilet, trying to go, I heard the police officer come in. My sister was in there too, just not in the stall. I thought the police officer's name was P but I was thinking of S. Then I saw my sister looking at me through a gap in the wall. I don't think she meant to look at my private area, just meant to talk to me, but I was like, "Go away!" which I thought sounded mean right after. I was surprised there was such a gap in the wall too.

      I think I talked to the police officer a little. Not sure what else happened in that part. But then, I was in a restaurant accross the road. I forgot how that transition happened. Standing at the bar. I forgot originally why, since I don't drink. I remember thinking of Tom Cruise but he had a totally different face. And Kate something, but I don't think her appearance corresponded to any actual actress, either.

      I knew the bartender from a previous job (or some place). We talked. I said I worked at a restaurant accross the road, DRF's new place. He was surprised. He asked me something about where I lived. "What?" I asked, unable to hear. 'Oh, it must be my earplugs,' I thought, and felt bad.

      We talked some more and another waiter there also arrived, someone I seemed to know from a previous restaurant job. We talked some more and then the waiter held up a dirty napkin. He asked me to bring his table a new napkin or to bus his table, or something like that. I decided I would as a favor even though I didn't work there.

      I walked around the long way and found no way through the room, due to so many tables. I saw one heavy set fellow eating a plate of tomato slices and egg salad. It actually looked pretty good. I think F was his dad? And a woman was there, maybe his mother.

      Next thing I saw was some of my Dad's friends at a table. They had their food in a giant pile on the floor that I was supposed to clean up. I got ready to start working on it with a wheel barrow.

      Some other things happened. Somehow I made it through and saw a table of older ladies who needed their whole table replaced, due to a spill. During the dream scene, I remembered the spill happening earlier. I had one napkin to offer. The waiter of the table was saying sorry about everything. A glass of water had spilled but it had lemon so it made everything smell sour. The old women had forgotten what it was and the waiter had to explain how they were going to bring fresh water.

      I remember writing "fancy bread, fancy water" on a line of text beneath some other text I had written. I forgot if there was anything else. Pretty good first-round dream recall. I might have remembered another thing or two if I kept recalling but it would have ended in RBTS and likely forgetting, so I went to write a little sooner. Alot more dreams still to come tonight!

      --------------------------------

      4:09 AM - Now its 4:09 AM. I must have been unable to sleep until 3, so I'm at 4-5 hours of sleep now. It was really tough. I tried my LD/sleep meditation 3 times. Tried to do some physical activity. Talked out loud. It just took a while. It turned out to be a really cool REM rebound LD though, so I was glad I made it through the tough time. My dream director must have been putting in alot of overtime preparing all of these scenes, and the cast of dream figures, so he just needed a little extra time to get it all ready.

      My earliest memory was of being in my bed. My friend C was mad at me for how I was sleeping on his phone. I felt really embarrassed and bad about it. He didn't understand it was accidental.

      I wasn't lucid yet. When I got lucid was a little later. I saw my Dad but he looked sleepy or something. Forgot what happened there. Eventually I did a finger palm test and was so relieved it had all been just a dream. Because I felt so bad about the thing with C.

      Then the dream took me through this experience twice, identically. The first time it had other parts interspersed, or more at the end. The second time, it was just the one sequence of things. Unfortunately I couldn't remember all the details of the experience, even though it happened twice, identically. As it happened, I remember thinking, 'This is the exact same dream, twice. I'll definitely remember it when I wake up.' But did not. Now that I think of it, I think I remember a Blastoise.

      I remember that both times it ended, there was a kind of credits screen or something like that. Dark or black backgrounds. One had gold letters saying something like, "I'm not done yet" in big gold block letters. And other words I couldn't get. Some were written in mirror writing. One of the end-game screens said "Durza: 79" and I wondered why it didn't show my score. It said "____: 0" Where ____ was another name but I'm not sure whose.

      There was also a part of it that ended with me asking two dream figures (MD being one) how to put on clothes. There were all these clothing racks. I remembered that I had always wanted to change my clothes in a dream, so I tried it. I thought of asking "How do you change clothes in a dream" but kept it to just "How do you change clothes?" They found me a pair of tan shorts and a blue button down shirt thing and a belt that looked pretty nice. I think a nearby woman scoffed at it. I remember there were lots of other clothes.

      Speaking had not been easy in the dream thus far and it remained difficult until much later. Every time I tried to speak, it was like being in sleep paralysis. Couldn't really get much out. I tried to push it a little bit just kind of accepted it. I wonder why this happened. It came more into play later when I wanted to try "dream commands" and could barely talk.

      Couches in a couch and bed and furniture store accross the mall caught my attention before I could change clothes. Having laid low until now in terms of dream abilities, I decided to fly. I flew accross the hall of the mall, which had that part that opens to the ground floor, like the big hole in the floor, that they have in malls.

      Flying accross with ease, I was feeling pretty good. However, I became aware of a woman behind me, in white, glaring at me. Her face showed lots of scolding and shaming expressions. She was a bit older, maybe 50, with blonde hair and a white shirt thing. I decided to just keep flying, and enjoy rolling around on the luxurious couches.

      Fear set in. Fear that she would chase me through the store anyway, so I may as well surrender. I flew back accross to her due to this gravitational pull. She began to scold me. Again, I could barely talk. What did she say? I forgot.

      Emotionally, I became very distraught by her faces, which were just very glaring, harsh and judgmental to me. (When I woke up I realized that if I could have stayed calm as I did at the end of the dream, that would have helped. there was alot of progress in regulating emotions.)

      Woke up from that and began to recall it, thinking it was over. However, it was only just beginning. I was in my room this time and it was dark. Somehow I knew it was a dream still. Also I remember between dreams, the ringing in my ears would get really intense. It overwhelmed my focus on dream recall of the previous one and took me into a new dream.

      Through all these, I told myself at least once, 'Just experience the dream while you're in it. You'll wake up and remember what you remember. You may very well forget some of this, but it's okay. Just stay here as long as you can, and when you wake up, you'll be able to remember some parts.' And I just let go and stayed in the moment of the dream. It was kinda cool but unfortunately I forgot some beginning parts.

      Experiencing those parts of the dream was like experiencing a first person video game. Actually now I remember. I could control some characters with my eyes. It was like a video game and I could use my eyes to control the characters from a top-down view. I remember being afraid to move my hands in case they would move my physical hands, but they didn't. I eventually tried using my hands more to control the game play. I remember one Link type of character in white. Maybe more will come back.

      Laying on my back, I began to see another scene. More aware now that it was a game or screen I was watching within a larger dream world. Continuing to watch, I was transported to fly above light blue water. A black form was shown beneath the water, maybe some kind of dragon, snake or other monster. It showed ripples as it got near the surface but then went back under a little deeper.

      Fear began to build again. 'Just hang in there,' Said one part of my mind. 'No! It's gonna show a really, really scary face! Bail!' said another part. I ended up trying to get up from that "dream screen" and go somewhere else.

      Maybe it ended and I had the ringing in the phase and re-appeared in my room. Not sure. I remember trying to make some "dream commands" work. One was to put the lights on. I tried a bunch of times to put the lights on using a command, but none worked. I used a light switch later on and that was the only way that worked. Other than that, it was fairly dim.

      Manifesting what I wanted didn't work. I think it had to do with my inner feeling at the time. Maybe too eager or too worked up. Not calm and confident enough. So I will mind that next time.

      One thing I tried to increase brightness was rubbing my eyes. I also tried blinking rapidly like my Blinking LD but it didn't do anything immediate. Fear set in that I might cause my physical eyes to move, and I stopped.

      Downstairs, it was brighter. I flew down there. I remember thinking of doing something like job applications for some reason. Just to try something that might help in waking life. But didn't. As I flew through the downstairs I saw tons of couches and furniture. Instead of 2 by 2 the downstairs was 3 by 2. Like an extra room in between the normal rooms, kitchens, etc.

      'Drinking something might help me find my voice,' I thought. So I began searching for a fridge. In the back left room, there were some couches with at least one present on them. And a fridge underneath something. It was left open a little. A white square fridge like 2 feet by 2 feet.

      Cans of beer were inside the fridge. I don't drink in waking life. But I knew it was a dream and it would probably just be like a fizzy sweet drink. The can was white and gold and some other colors. I got ready to drink it then the dream ended.

      Seeing nothing, I laid there in the void. I imagined drinking the drink, but realized I was clearly not drinking it or seeing it, I was just imagining it. I worried that it might be waking life and that would be terrible to go back to day 0 on sobriety. But I told myself, no, its definitely a dream. If I see it again, I will know that its a dream because of the downstairs being different, etc.

      I'm getting too tired to finish writing now so I will just write tags for the rest. Then convert them later.

      Had another dream where I re-appeared in my room, after some ringing. A lot of times it was easy for me to fly in these dreams. I could jump up and then just fly to where I had my back to the ceiling with no effort. However, I couldn't phase through things. My sense of limitations of physical boundaries was persistent. However my flying was very very easy and under control.

      This time I flew up, thinking of other times I had flown up through my ceiling and roof and into the sky. However I got scared part way through that I'd get stuck in the attic. Anyway I ended up in a similar room with a similar slanted ceiling, only a bit whiter. My windows were slightly open with navy blue curtains. My voice came back a little more and I tried to command the lights to come on. No luck. I went over and flicked the light switch, and it worked.

      Writing appeared on the walls. It seemed very profound. The words weren't the same as English but looked like English words with re-arranged letters. I read them aloud to myself in the dream but didn't remember many of them now, except one that said the toilet was dirty, or the dirty toilet smelled. Even though it was just a dream, I decided I could go and clean the dream toilet.

      I was also still trying to manifest something I wanted without much success. Then I heard the yelling and crying from outside. It reminded me of the neighbors who live behind me. Sometimes they yell at their kids, and it always triggers me. Or the kids will be crying, and they just ignore them. I finally gave in, went to look out the back, and it was worse than I thought!

      They were doing "circumcision" rituals on two people. I remember looking, like, "Really? Why?" And pulling back into the room to think of what I should do. One of my dream goals had been to rescue infants from un-necesary, non-therapeutic, forced genital cutting. So in this dream I had the chance!

      Trees were growing in the back yard which reached higher than the house. My plan was to fly from tree to tree, and then hide there, out of sight. Also, there was a ceiling above my back yard, and walls that went almost all the way up to it. there were like 2 feet of space that I could pass through if I wanted to get out of there.

      I flew again from the evergreen tree to the top of a bigger oak kind of tree. There was a noose up there which I just brushed to the side. It seemed kind of random. There was also a stick that was almost more of a log. pretty big.

      They were putting an Asian kid in one of the torture chairs. His Dad was kneeling and praying over a regular chair. It made me sick. he must have been praying to some evil entity to accept this human sacrifice. Vile, and disgusting.

      Just then, two women from the tent of evil walked around my tree. They looked up at me! Oh, no. My cover was blown. I threw the stick down at them as a weapon. "I'm human rights!" Shouted the woman, unaffected by the stick, even though it went straight at her. "I'm an intactivist!" I yelled back, thinking maybe we would be able to help each other. "I'm pro-cutting!" She yelled back up to me. 'What?!' I thought. 'Pro-cutting and human rights are not compatible. Cutting children is a human rights violation.'

      She began to point a gun at me. Some fear came up but I flew to the other side of the house. I noticed that walls had gone all the way up to the ceiling now, so there was no way out. (Theoretically, I could phase through any wall, with enough dream powers.)

      She fired a gun up at me as I flew. The bullet, a small black thing, seemed to go in slow motion. I easily deflected it with force from my hand. She seemed impressed. She was blonde, wearing a blue uniform, like a nurse would wear. I wonder if she was the same woman who tried to stop me flying earlier?

      Although I deflected one bullet, I became fearful, and bolted in flight to the side of the house to try to get out. I got a sinking feeling when I saw that a 30-40 foot tall pile of books and shoeboxes was blocking the exit. I began to hurriedly dig my way through the books and shoeboxes, tossing them onto the ground far below. 'This is going to make her even more mad!' I thought, as I tried to dig my way out. I guess I was afraid that, at the worst case scenario, I would be put through a torture ritual. My body stores the memory of the pain, so they could re-activate it. Or she could just shoot me, and I'd have to feel the pain of that.

      Stacks of books went on and on after the ones I had dug out, and I gave up on getting through them. I had also tried initally to phase through them, but it didn't work. I hadn't expected it to. I hope to increase that skill as time goes on.

      'If she shoots me, I might feel pain, but it won't hurt me physically,' I thought, and decided to land and face her. She was like 5 feet away from me, and pointed the pistol at me. It had a silver barrel with a black hole. She fired it, and nothing happened. She seemed surprised, as if she expected it to actually hit me. I think she was really impressed.

      The woman and I interacted a bit. I was beginning to be distracted. The grey door with a diagonal crash bar appeared on the wall to my right. I headed towards it to go out and woke up. I had been speaking something in the dream when it ended. So I woke up feeling like I was still speaking. I think I was saying, "Wait, still gotta save these kids."

      It's interesting with dream chains like this because I wake up between them but I think I'm in the phase still. Because when I finally wake up physically, it feels way different. However, at the time, I don't notice the difference because I'm in the same position, in my same bed, it's dark, etc.


      --------------------------------

      Now its 8:46 am. I got 2-3 more hours of sleep putting me at 7-8. It takes me 12 hours to get 7-8 hours of sleep!

      Had a handful of dreams. RBTS over and over but re-remembered them all as I went.

      First one I remembered was of me being in my back yard on a recliner chair. My mom was talking to another guy (not my dad) and I became suspicious. A plant was leaning over my spot in the recliner chair. I remember rotating it.

      Inside, there was a lamp on by a window. I looked out a small hole in the curtain to discreetly spy on my mom and the guy. It seemed like they had some kind of affair going on.

      Angry, mom came in and asked, "Who was spying on me through the hole in the door?" I thought, 'It wasn't the hole in the door but it was a hole in the window.' And, 'She must have seen my silhouette in the curtain due to the lamp behind me.'

      The guy ended up having difficulties with a graphic design program. He was doing everything pixel by pixel instead of using and programs that would help do it more professionally. I didn't know how to use the program either but I tried to help somehow. I kind of remember the graphics, but not perfectly.

      Something with store shelves comes to mind.

      Second part, involved a few different humanoid species. Pigs, wolves and something else, I think. Two characters, one of each species, were going up a hill to get to the other two characters, who were of the third species (wolves I think). The wolves had vats of acid that they poured on the antagonistic species. Then, they could eat them. There was a little more to this but I guess I didn't remember it.

      Third, I was on an escalator at the mall, thinking of some kind of advice for everyone. Maybe it involved drinking water.

      Fourth, I was in a high school cafeteria. Well first the high school one but then they moved us to the middle school one. Laid out like the ones in the school building I went to. The food wasn't ready yet. We had to wait but they said some food was ready. KF went up first. I went up. It turned out to be nachos and cheese type of thing. I wasn't able to eat it though due to dietary restrictions so I gave it back. The woman from the kitchen was talking to the person on the line behind me about how good the chips were, and eating some. She was a bit heavier and had dark hair. (Not saying it judgmentally, just noting the detail.)

      Fifth, I was on an internet forum. I got to a section where people were posting music. I had several poems or sets of song lyrics to post, but not actual songs. Each thread had a number for how much data it contained in files. Most threads were just one file but I wanted to make an ongoing thread, with all my files.

      One thread contained a 4-panel wide display of GIFs of a fish monster that grew bigger and meaner and more monstrous. Then the GIF would end, and it repeated. I was like, 'Why am I staring at this?' It was really monstrous. The teeth were sharp triangles toward the top of the GIF. Also, the forum background was dark grey while the text was white.

      Another thread contained a video game. The game was a mix of Pokemon, Legend of Zelda, and Shining soul, maybe other things. Anything with that top-down view. I remember exploring it by going around the regular doors. But then found there was a part with a wall I could walk right through. The wall led to a corridor.

      Blue orbs and other things I forgot were all up and down the corridor. I remember noticing the music but can't think of it now.

      Sixth? I remember going to a meeting. I had a paper and pen for writing stuff. But didn't want to bother people by writing while they spoke, so I decided to put it under my chair. (Face-down with the pen clipped over it. Black pilot g2 style pen.) I had noticed another woman in the parking lot doing something. She sat on the side of the room and had a side conversation while the meeting went on. I was kind of annoyed.

      Then in my room at the old house, I was trying to stuff this black case on a hanger in my armoir. There was something about needing to hold on to it but then there not being room. And wondering if it was really necessary.

      Seventh... I don't think there was a seventh. So, that's a lot. I feel fairly rested now. I'd like to build my dream powers and use them to rescue more children.

      4915
    15. 3,667 words - got lucid twice

      by , 05-23-2018 at 02:02 PM
      Went to bed around 7:45, Probably asleep by 8:30.

      --------------------------------

      Woke up at one point with a few dreams in mind. The first one was being at the local food store. I was buying cheese and some other food items. The older military veteran guy from town was also there. I had parmesan cheese. He took some of it and got it all stuck in his mustache.

      I remember waiting on the checkout line, then needing to use the bathrom before I left.

      I wrote one more dream note on a little piece of paper in the dark that I will have to add later. Yeah, it said "pza delivery". I know there was some kind of pizza delivery but not the detail. Something about it being anticlimactic. Some writing involved. But the short note there didn't bring up what I initially rememberd. Sometimes they do sometimes they don't.

      Then I woke up, and recalled those. I laid back down and it was an RBTS, other than the tiny notes I made on the paper in the dark.

      As I fell asleep, I noticed that I was looking at a chat room screen. It was reflecting different people chatting from various websites. There was a dark grey back-ground, and white text.

      I noticed it was a dream appearing before my eyes because I had just been thinking of dream recall when it appeared. When I looked closer, and realized that it was becoming its own thing, kind of separate from my mind in a way, I knew I was dreaming it. Then a loud ringing happened in my ears which seemed to me like a transition into WILD. However, I think I lost consciousness, and a regular dream began. Still kind of cool I think.

      There were a few subsequent dream scenes, but they ended up as RBTS, seemingly forgotten. The weird part was, when I woke up from the next round of sleep, I remembered the end of these dreams. But then after I recalled the next round of dreams more fully, I tried to go back to the end of round 2, but couldn't. Maybe it will come to mind as I write round 3.

      So, here were the dreams from when I got to sleep again. I remember something with a lemon. I had an open lemon and wondered if I should eat it and drink the juice. Maybe I had a reason in mind. I also worried about the sugar content.

      I just remembered a part where I was in a kitchen. Making a peanut butter and banana sandwich. Or about to start making one.

      I remember a brief memory of a Sonic the Hedgehog level. Like a side scroller. I don't think I remember getting the coins knocked out of me or any robot bad guys but I remember jumping along a level like that.

      There was also something with Y and he had a frozen melon. It was a cantaloupe. The orange part was not thawed yet around the sides, and that represented Y's not being ready to change his behavior yet. I think the behavior was some habit. There were other people from school there, too.

      I remember I was making the peanut butter and banana sandwich to go to a class room. When I got there someone had called their name. Two people like it was on the phone meeting today, when two people dialed in from the same phone. I think the name was David though.

      B was in the back row and I went to join him. Then we were in an adjacent room at a row of computers at a desk. There was some music he couldn't listen to. M E may have been there.

      Then there was a scene of this smaller, thin character having done something to offend this big, tough character. They were humanoid in shape but had different attributes than humans I forgot. The big tough character ended up pulverizing the little guy into a wall. It became like DBZ, where the wall got smashed in like 10 feet behind where the big guy pulverized the little guy.

      Then the little guy (LG) managed to get out of the debris and retailiate against the big guy. He poked the big guy (BG's) eyes out, and a bandage appeared, over BG's eyes. Then LG tackled BG over the edge of a cliff thing from where the village was and down into a resevoir below it. The tackling was so powerful it made a hole in the ground of the reservoir that all the water drained into. I thought LG was going to drive BG straight to the core of the Earth and make him go into lava. It was kind of violent but I was glad to see LG winning since he seemed to be the good guy, and BG the bad guy.

      All the water from the village came draining down into the reservoir. I figured this was because the lack of water in the reservoir was now creating a vaccuum but in waking life that wouldn't work that way. There was a blue waterfall coming down from the cliff face. I was also glad that the water was being drained from the village due to LG's heroic action. That must have meant the village was corrupted.

      But then we were swimming in water again so I guess it got replenished. This time I was with them, but last time, I saw from outside. BG's eye was still bandaged. This was a relief. We were able to keep BG at bay by poking him with a metal rod, which kept him at a distance. LG and I kept doing this.

      I remember swimming underwater a little to avoid some of BG's arm swings. Then poking him from there. It was pretty involved. I'm not sure what the next part of the plan was going to be.

      Then some other guys came along in the water, and began to poke us with little sharp things. They wanted to play a game. They might have been characters from earlier but I'll explain that later.

      I told them that I would be glad to play their game any time. but not at this time. At the time I was doing something really important (fighting BG) and so it wasn't a good time. I explained that I was a "man of my word" and would keep my promise. I said this with a lot of anger, mainly. However, I said it like, "I'm a man of my word... Except when it comes to football season!" Meaning that I had quit football season earlier in the dream, or it was just implanted context. I thought to myself that this was okay to change my mind on football season, and didn't make me not a "man of my word" per say because it was a longer term decision.

      (I just had a dream flashback of weight lifting but I'm not sure when.)

      Then the part with BG kind of ended. We went in a locker room and I opened my locker. It was something like 18, 28, 38, and worked perfectly. I am surprised I remembered those numbers. I remember dialing the pad lock and everything. Silver pad lock with a black dial and white lines. I think 18, 28, 38 was like my combo from high school.

      I asked MC if he would want to play a game, I think something in the water, some time. But he had lacrosse season going. So that wasn't going to work. He asked me if I was playing, and I said no.

      However, I opened my locker and found two lacrosse sticks. One said STX. I explained that I didn't play now, but must have had these from last season I played, which was (and I tried to remember if it was 7, 8, 9 or 10th grade, but it was really 8th) some time in high school.

      Then MK came by and told me that he could show me his lacrosse skills. I figured he would do some catch with a lacrosse ball against a wall which would be fast and showy and impressive. But I think I needed to get going.

      Then the coach came by and notified me that I'd have to change my bedding. Or put my bedding in the hampers next time. I felt embarrassed for not having changed it all week. I guess I thought the staff would do it automatically. He noticed a drool stain on my bed or something, which was now right near the locker.

      I was relieved that I had had a shower from being in the water. And now I was going to go home overnight. This way I wouldn't be sleeping in a dirty bed and I wouldn't smell from that. I would be able to smell clean.

      That reminds me that there must have been something with a class room, and that coach, earlier in the dream. But I can't remember it now. Only this part. I think the coach was African American.

      So then I started to head out of the locker room. I think I did put my bedding in the hamper. I remember going into another row of lockers and there was something soft and furry there. People were asking me, "What, did you think they would just walk into the laundry themselves?" And I explained how I expected the staff to do it.

      Further on the way out, I got near Mr. H's class room. He had my car key. I'm not sure why. It was on this stack of two block things with a pumpkin picture on each. Now I'm remembering walking around high school hallways but not sure exactly what.

      I accidentally knocked his blocks over and went to pick them up. There was something with a woman named J and a toy car thing that's kind of vague to me now. I left the building without getting my car keys from Mr. H. Walking around the parking lot, I looked for my car. Then I realized I hadn't gotten the keys!

      I panicked a little because it was night, and everyone had left. I remember a bright light in my eyes against the night sky, and wondering why I didn't have my orange glasses. And if this would make it hard to fall asleep. As I headed back for the building.

      My plan was to bang on the door and yell, "MR. H!!!" until he heard me. They were glass doors. But luckily one opened right up. I went down the stairs and got my key. What a relief.

      Then 2 people were going to be in my car with me. Mr. H explained how beneath the space where the keys go is a mirror so he could see the underside of the keys. That made sense to me in the dream.

      Then there was a self help book that someone wanted to read as a group in the car ride home. He got very excited that we could read and discuss it together. I wondered how I would read it while I drove. Maybe they would read it out loud so I could hear.

      Then I woke up, and recalled those. Now I've come to record them. I'm kinda sad about the RBTS on round 2, causing me that loss. I guess its good that I slept but I thought I really had a chance to salvage those dreams. However if I had tried to salvage those, I might have lost the chance to recall round 3 at all. Well, there will be more dreams next time.

      Its 3:11 now so I probably woke up around 2:30. If I went to sleep by approx. 8:30 then I got 4.5-5.5 hours of sleep so far, if I make sure to not count the times I was up recalling dreams. Hopefully I'll fall back asleep this time without trouble.

      --------------------------------

      I got back to sleep with help from a meditation I made within 25 minutes. My mind started racing and I think without the meditation reminders I would have gone way off into that.

      I remember dreaming about being a science class. There was a female teacher. I remember we had to put stuff in a bag, maybe a big brown paper bag. I'm not sure if this was where I got lucid or if I did later.

      I remember getting lucid at some point. How? Not sure. But I found myself in a bed. I got up and saw that I was wearing blue jeans. Explored a few rooms of the house I was in.

      I remember that I was actually walking around on my knee caps in the beginning. And eventually, I stood up. I remember putting my one foot out and pressing up to a full standing position. So there was some dream body coordination.

      I don't remember much of the dream. or as much as I think there was. I felt like I had good control and it was a fairly stable dream, but without much stabilization techniques even needed. I think I did some hand rubbing at one point.

      I remember being in a room, near a TV. Thinking that the dream was going by so fast, but it was a longer lucid dream, and that I'd probably remember it all very easily. But I was aware that I hadn't even thought "Let me make sure I remember this" the whole time, untl then.

      I wondered what dream goals to try to accomplish after feeling like I hadn't really got the most out of it. There were some pullups and dip bars. I did wide-grip, overhand pull ups for a while, then pulled myself up and did push-ups on the bar. Then rotated to do dips. I rotated between the hanging push-ups, dips facing one way, back, dips facing other way, etc. Then back to pull-ups. I remember feeling my arms and upper body muscles actually working which was kinda cool. Also I think I did it with my eyes closed, seeing no visuals, just feeling the work out.

      I guess I fought the ending of the dream a little bit, but surrendered that it was over.
      There was one last false awakening in which I appeared in my bed, with lights on in the room. I grabbed a mirror at the foot of my bed, and tried to dream journal by talking into it.

      When I woke up physically, I was in such a daze. Not really able to think clearly. Those moments when I couldn't think yet were probably when alot of it slipped away.

      Well, now it's 4:36 AM. I must have only slept 30-45 minutes putting me at about 6 hours of sleep.

      --------------------------------

      I think I got 1 or 2 more total hours of sleep, so I'm at 7-8 again. I had some dreams way in the beginning that were forgotten via RBTS.

      I remember playing sports in the high school field. It was windy. A woman was smoking two cigars at once. I kept yelling from a distance for her to stop and she did. I was pretty sure there was no smoking allowed on that high school field. I vaguely remember some heiroglyphics or something like that.

      We got up to the locker room which was accessible through the front of the school building, and walked in. Same as waking life. I put a joke on the mirror involving someone wanting to eat an onion. Then after showing one person, I think C, I decided to take it down. It was a woman saying something about wanting an onion. Also there was something with the word trauma. I didn't want to leave it because it was making fun of her. She had reddish brown hair.

      Then there was something about how I was wearing gym shorts, but instead of change back to my clothes now, I would go home, change into different gym shorts, come back to school, and then change from gym shorts back to my regular clothes.

      I think TR was there.

      Then we were in a different field and there was something about a guy saying how if a guy got a woman pregnant, he should be with her. So he was staying with a woman who I guess he had got pregnant. Then we were supposed to rotate positions. I ended up being tricked into rotating to a position without a good view of anything. TL laughed. I was in a corner but behind a TV. So then TL pushed me into the corner some more and I kinda fought him off. I didn't want to stay in that spot.

      Then I remember being in the woods. I tripped and stumbled trying to get under some hanging vines. The trails were narrow. Someone had a thrown a whole bag of Heineken beer cans out there. There was some other litter. I wanted to clean it but it was hard to get my cleaning tools through the narrow passages of vines. I remember looking down a snowy slope that I'd have to wait until it was dry, so as not to slide.

      I thought of Wingull from Pokemon, maybe one that Ash had. I think I imagined it flying by.

      I'm not sure what else happened. I think there was a part when I was going to buy cigarettes, but then return them immediately, as a way to make people quit some how. I shudder to even say that sentence. And I also woke up laying on my right side, but opened my eyes and saw vines. When I looked closer they became blue, like my bed might be. But I still think it was a false awakening, because my eye cover would have made that not possible in waking life.

      I guess I don't remember the rest. It's kinda vague. Tonight my brain was a bit foggy when going for recall.

      I was really surprised (sp?) that this came out to 3667, it seemed like less!
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