non-lucid

It's 6:46pm. I'm already kinda tired. I'm gonna get off the computer early and get to bed.

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Now it's 12:54 AM and I couldn't get back to sleep. I probably slept 7:30 to 12 which is 4-5 hours, with one time waking up, in between. Then I woke up with some dreams to recall around 12. I felt tired so tried to just use a tag book method but ended up being unable to sleep. Kinda fidgety and something on my mind.

So I got up to write the dreams! I think the earliest was something about how I went all the way to the far reaches of the Earth to find safety. When I got there, we were a few feet deep in the ocean, at the shore. There were a few African people saying this was the furthest that any civilization reached. I thought about going further out into that Ocean but they told me that no civilizations existed until making a nearly full circle around the Earth, to the other side of the continent we were on. I forgot everything they said but it felt safe, like I would be okay. It was day time. The water was blue.

I remember a thing with my sister. But it's kind of vague. Something with a piece of paper. Not sure.

I remember a thing in my Nana's living room.

I remember backing up my car in the drive way at my current house. But not being able to line it up in the spot. I was thinking of the "atman self" which I don't know what that is. But something about how the self is okay. I was also thinking how MGM is wrong as I drove. Then I backed up past my drive way and into the road. This made my car go near a pack of 3 cars in the street.

I guess there was some kind of stand off and none of us could go around each other. This ended up resulting in M R being hand cuffed and taken to jail. I remember the dream showing M R hand cuffed, but noticing that it wasn't at the wrist. Actually only his pointer finger tips were put through the hand cuffs. He adjusted his hands to find a comfortable fit but I guess he could take them out any time.

There was another part with these brown desert rocks. Two explorers walked through them. T, the manager from the second restaurant I worked at, was there. I remember walking accross this rock thing and then into a vat of something as part of the exploration. Not quite sure but I was delighted when even a small detail of this came to mind.

There was another part which I will call Winnie the Pooh and DBZ too. Because it was a mix of characters. Goku was getting ready for battle and there were other characters, too. But then I think Winnie the Pooh was coloring Super Saiyan Goku's hair yellow. And it was done by hand.

There was someone else on Goku's team. As well as Buu. Buu was wearing the costume he had when he absorbed Piccolo and a few other DBZ characters, with the black and gold shoulder pad things. I remember drawing those or seeing them drawn in the dream.

Then there was a drawing of Winnie the Pooh with some darker markers over yellow. And then doing the eyes by not coloring over where they would go, and putting dots there.

I will double check the tag-book for anything else but I think that was it. Now I'm gonna do a few things until I get sleepy.

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Okay, I just did some reading and posting on WOLD forum. Then got sleepy. Its only 1:46 AM so if I start sleeping now, I'll be able to get enough hours by morning.

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Finally got back to sleep. Had to lay there a while. I found myself listening to a phone meeting of WA. One woman was saying how she doesn't do a lot of outreach. She just reaches within herself. She does a lot of healthy habits and doesn't take a lot of phone calls. Kind of just takes care of herself.

Then there was a thing with 3 black dogs, and petting them. One woman said something about how severe the cannibalism is. Then she pet the dogs a lot. I went to pet the dogs too because it seemed to be the only relief from the pain of knowing about the cannibalism. It seemed as I pet the dogs, I felt okay again.

Then I was on my computer, in my room.

I started to feel sleepy, and got up to go to bed. I figured I had not been able to get to sleep the second time I tried, and got back up again, which was what I almost thought would happen after laying there so long. When I tried to close my computer, the screen was really zoomed in. I couldn't find anything.

I got up, I think still hearing someone talking. Something about the lap top screen made me think to do a finger palm test, so I did. Sure enough, my finger went through. I was really surprised and wondered if it was possible it could still be waking life. But then I did a finger palm test and there was a big "DZZZT" and the room flashed red. Scary!

One more finger palm test and this time my finger went through with no DZZZT thing. The air conditioner was on. I wondered if this was in my physical window. I couldn't use my eye sight, but I could find the buttons by feel and turn it off. The button on the left lowered it a few settings, but the button on the right turned it off. I wonder if that was before I did the finger palm test, and part of the dream sign that prompted me to check. Not sure.

Anyway I felt fear, like I needed to escape the house. I heard some kind of bang. I put my hands together in a gun position with my fingers poking out, and went around the corners of the walls like a detective. Then I pointed down the stairs and pretended to fire, but nothing happened. I just made my own little "pop" sound.

I flew and got to the ceiling above the stairs. Tried to phase through it by becoming totally ghost-like but it was solid. I really tried to believe it, but it was solid. There was pencil hand writing up there in some spots.

I bravely finished my flight down and landed with a gentle sound, careful not to alert anyone. My original plan was to get out through the front door, but when I got there, I saw that there was a crazy indoor lock on it. Some white oval thing. Went to the living room.

Passed by the little space between the living room and where the hall sees through to the kitchen. Mom and Dad were there. I forgot what they were doing. Maybe making food. Nothing scary.

That was really it. I woke up, and recalled it, surprised and relieved I had gotten to sleep.

Now it's 2:59 AM so I must have like 5-6 hours of sleep by now. Still time to get more by morning.

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Okay. I had some more dreams. One was of being on a computer. I was in my current house a lot in the beginnings of these.

I might have got lucid at some point in those earlier dreams. I woke up from them very, very groggy, with little recall. I remember also dreaming of a leak coming from my back pack. It was a water or milk gallon. I had to take it out and clean up. There was a lot of recycle to take out. I didn't know what to do with it. I thought I'd missed the weekly recycle pick-up and now I'd be stuck with all this recycle. I thought of putting it in the closet but that seemed full in my mind.

Somewhere in there was a Pokemon battle part. There were different levels like 29, 39, 6, etc. I had a two headed dragon Pokemon on the right side of my screen, showing only one head. But when I clicked it, both heads came into the game and did a big lightning attack. It had a name which I forgot.

Then R came to my house and other people had been coming. And he said it was his house. I forgot who the other people who arrived were. But he was beginning to play the kind of music they play at college drinking parties. I was wondering how I'd sleep through this. Maybe find a subreddit to vent.

There was something with various people there I knew. Then this part where police officers came. They had guns. I was supposed to take a gun. 'Where am I gonna put this, my pocket?' I thought. But when I looked, I had a hip holster thing on my right side of my pants.

I looked at the other police officer's guns to make sure the safety was set properly. It was, with the little switch in the "up" position.

I was supposed to get out of the house without getting shot by someone in the house. So I was ready to use a metal shield and try to get past the line of fire and out the front door.

I got outside after a little while. Someone who looked like the guy who player Boromir (I'll call him B) jumped 6 feet or so and landed in a somersault in some squishy mud. "Does that count as a jump around here?" He asked. He had been unable to quit smoking.

We drove somewhere. I had a smoking problem too in this dream I guess because there was this pipe in front of me. I guess I was remembering how I got addicted. (I haven't smoked anything in 4.5+ years) There was also a gallon of water in front of me.

The pipe fell and my Dad, who was driving, reached to the seat in front of me and caught it. I guess so it didn't start a fire. We pulled in to the driveway of a house we were going to another party at. I smelled smoke, but it was theirs. I think I was back to my non-smoking self.

3 kids were smoking on the front steps of that house. "Let 'em have it," said my Dad. He rolled down the passenger side window and I yelled a mean word, then, "Please stop smoking!" Or something like that. I felt the mean word would make them not receptive to the other part and thought maybe I won't say that part next time.

The 3 of them approached the car, looking ready to fight. I had a giant toilet paper roll and a 1.5 foot steak knife with a 6-8 inch wide blade.

JDF had his left hand in his pocket. I wondered what he had, a gun? I knew I didn't have that, but I decided not to even bring the knife. I went out of the car with my hands clearly showing. The 3 guys from the steps had all come over, angry, but with no smokes.

I apologized about the mean word. JDF and I ended up fighting. He grabbed my hands and squeezed. There was a damage chart that went from 0 to 150. Somehow I got my hands to the outside, and squeezed his hands. They cracked a little and the damage chart (white background, black text) went to 150. I let go of his hands and the 3 of them dissappeared.

I think that's when I woke up. M R might have been in this dream. Alot went unremembered what with my groggy brain. So from 2:59 AM, I had got up around 5:30 AM, meaning I slept about 1.5-2 more hours. Putting me from 5-6 to 7-8 hours of sleep. Its already a little light out, but I'll still try for more more sleep cycle. Now it's 6:06 AM and I'm in the 7-8 hours of sleep range. Gonna go for one more sleep cycle.

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Didn't get to sleep but remembered one more detail when meditating. With the air conditioner, I was considering pulling the plug, but I was afraid that it would cause a spark, to do it with the unit still running. But that was because the button wouldn't work yet. Also I felt the cool air coming from the vents. If a dream detail like that can come out of seemingly no-where, doesn't that mean the rest are all somewhere, too?

I went to bed around 9. Did good Waking Life Recall.

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At parents old house, my dad and sister outside with the car and a light. Maybe moons in the sky.

I remember dreaming of a special type of support group meeting along with (M).

The meeting seemed to have a heirarchy. (M) was going to work for them. I think (M) and I tried to escape using one of their go-carts, and then got down to the water, and jumped in. Something about a phone in the water.

Something about some jail thing. People had different demonstrations.

In the next part, C and O were there. It was some kind of party thing. I remember chat room text with glow in the dark parts. I tried to switch to a bright white font so it would all be equally easy to read. They said something about drugs and/or alcohol. I said I hadn't been doing that.

J tried to show me this square icon of a book labeled "D". I was like, "Is that the gnostic Gospel thing?" He said, yeah. I wanted to say, "That's a really important part. It's where they say if boys were supposed to be circumcized, they'd have been born that way." But didn't get the words out.

He said how the book costed like $5,000. But to order it, he just bought dolls (American Girl Dolls?) for 1 dollar each and sold them for 2,500 dollars each. I was wondering why he only sold 2 and didn't just keep buying and selling, beyond the cost of the book.

A girl wanted to show us something from another book. She had jeans on but they were soft felt on the inside. She called them a special name. They reminded me of horse back riding jeans. The part near the hamstrings could show just tan felt or be adjusted to show denim. She had a denim shirt thing where the long sleeves had a flap on the triceps part.

I tried on some of the pants with the felt on the inside. They were really comfortable.

I might have dreamed about smokers. I'm not sure. If I did, it was earlier.

I remember being in a kitchen. I got mad at DW or BC for eating my food or something like that.

They were all wet, either sweaty, or from water. Standing in the door of the kitchen. Or working over a metal sink.

In this last part I had made someone angry. An oriental doctor guy. So he was going to make me give birth. Or I would have to give birth to make him not angry. So there was a whole thing where I was being made ready to give birth.

It showed some X-Ray diagram things. My insides definitely didn't look like standard anatomy diagrams. There were lots of tunnels and weird places the baby would have to squeeze through.

I remember as a break from the birth thing, I was seeing Super Mario 64. Mario was going around this platform that went in circles vertically. He did a wall jump but missed the platform, landed and fell. That represented some play time or an escape from the operation.

The operation scene resumed. I was really scared. I figured it would all be over soon and that was the only way. One diagram showed the baby's head getting out of one tunnel and about to pass through another.

When it was getting intense, I woke up. I hadn't felt physical pain, just fear and psychological discomfort. I switched to dream-recall mode pretty soon and made sure to recall them before falling back to sleep.

I think sometimes when I "fight" my sleep too much to recall a dream it makes me wake up too much. I'll see what happens when I lay back down. I wish I could have described these dreams better. I felt there was more to them. Like in the scene with the denim pants we were on a stair thing outside the girl's door. Well, now it is 11:15 PM so I must have only slept 2 hours. Back to bed!

Oh, in the scene near the water, while M and I escaped, a phone fell in the water. I think it was one of the guards'. Something about saving it to get us some mercy.

There was the doctor there and then a few other doctors at the table. My head was facing left on the "dream screen" and we were on the left side.

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Okay, cool! Not much trouble getting to sleep and I had good recall this time. Something with my Dad, a bed, and encouraging my sister to get what she needed for school. Maybe a hug and then something about my Dad smelling like a girl from hugging my sister, but not minding, because he's a Dad.

Something with a Mario game. I remember Mario running around the various wall paintings, looking for one to go into. The painting rippled when he got up to it. However there were other dream-original elements mixed in to it. Those, I'm not too sure about, even though I know they were cool. It was about choosing the right level to go to. I remember thinking of what level each painting was, one up and to the left, etc. Wish I could remember that.

Something about G A, a previous employer, driving on the highway. Maybe this was when I got the traffic violation. I got a traffic violation thing at one point in this drema. This was so far back I'm not sure.

R M and others in Nana's back yard. R M saying how he now drinks his full gallon of water a day. Previously he wasn't quite getting there. But now he drinks the whole gallon, something about how he spaced it out. Near the pool pump. There was more to this, maybe with R S.

Something with boldly asking Nana and Uncle G if I could go on their plane with them. My sister or someone was taken aback by me doing this. This might have been where I got the pin on my chest. I got a red pin on my chest indicating I would have to go to court that came into play later. My family was around a bunch of circular tables.

Then I was on a forum. Along the top were thumb nails for videos. By various people. One was this droopy green face with a long nose and it looked like an artistic rendition of The Hulk. Another thumbnail was blue and talked about "How to Sleep on Your Side Comfortably". This got my attention so I book marked it for later, or tried to.

There were so many green thumbnails that I clicked one. They all had various titles indicating a sequence but were not listed in the same order it seemed. Well, the droopy nose turned out to be the teacher's belly button or belly. He had a different kind of distribution of adipose tissue. A lot of it was on his lower body but then he was thinner up top. And his belly was very droopy, drooping down far.

He went on to say some things, while illuminated green, then change the light, so he became shown as skin color. Then he started to demonstrate a workout. He was sitting on the edge of a bed, facing the camera, until this point. Then the camera showed him from a diagonal angle from behind his right shoulder.

It showed him doing lots of arm movements. He said to do them for 20 seconds then rest, and swung his arms in a freestyle fashion. This went on for a while. I wondered if it was past 20 seconds. Also I thought it would be bad for his shoulders.

He began to be shaped more like a body builder and his arm movements became more controlled. He was saying to make sure to focus on just front delts, then just side delts, then just rear delts, in sequence, throughout the thing. I wanted to say you can't really isolate one head of the deltoids although you can emphasize one.

He also said that it was important to do some heavy compound movement like deadlift or overhead presses before or after this. I think it was before it. It showed him overhead pressing 135 with ease. There was 185 on the deadlift bar. I tried to help him remove the plates. I did this by crawling around and lifting the bar like a lever. I was thinking of how crawling was a good workout. And how I could military press 135 but maybe only 4 reps, and not easily. (At one point in my PL career, not now though)

So then the police came along and asked me if I'd been to my court thing. I said yeah, yesterday, someone talked to me, and everything was okay. (This was true in the dream context) The police officers kind of laughed. I laughed too because I didn't realize the pin would attract so much attention. If it did, I wouldn't have worn it. The police had actually come there for a different reason but I forgot what.

The next parts involved being at my high school. Outside the window, there was a burning bag of kale. I was outside the big glass windows near the hall but also thinking I was directly beneath my bedroom. The bag of kale was ripped open and the top flap of plastic was set to flame, burning brightly. I got worried because the smoke could get into my room. But remembered my windows were closed. Still, I wanted the bag to stop burning. I felt it was a retaliation by smokers who got mad at me for saying "Stop smoking."

There was also a sense of danger, like the whole school was under some kind of robbery or lock down. And I was just out there. I thought of getting a fire extinguisher and putting it out myself, but it seemed dangerous. I was by the hallway between the middle school cafeteria, middle school bathrooms on one side, and the gymnasium and way out to buses on other side, near the outer entrance to the girls locker room, and vending machine.

I decided the best course of action would be to go down the hall and find the gym teachers. Then they could protect me and help put out the fire. When I turned that corner, I saw two shady criminal men in masks. 'Oh, no!' I thought. 'They saw me!'

"Let's get him," I think I heard them say. They had some weapon or thing in their hands. I ran down the hall toward the middle school cafeteria, in "flight mode". I got to where I could have branched off and hid in the tech lab, but realized that I could hide in the girls bathroom in a stall, and crouch on a toilet. They would never think I would hide in there.

Sure enough I ran in there before they turned the corner. And they passed by without looking in. the door was open the whole time. But when I got inside, there were lots of people, as if this had been chosen as a refuge room. Some people showed me to a spot at a row of computers, next to a guy I thought I had seen earlier. I was glad he escaped too.

They told me about a game system where there were two people who would play a game. The outcomes were bored/bored, um... Oops, I forgot the rest. Took it for granted I'd remember them from remembering bored/bored. Well, either way, I think the winner got to stay in the refuge room but maybe the loser had to leave? But there were two ways of having a tie which seemed like both players could agree on. Someone else was sat to my right, and this was the seating order for each next person who arrived.

I felt safe. But the burning bag of Kale was still on my mind heavily. Miss Y passed by. I remember she was tall and had blonde hair and thought it must be Miss Y. I got up and everyone was saying, "Charles! No!"

I poked my head out the door and whispered, "Psst! Miss Y!" (her full last name) She turned around, like, "Charles... No..." but with this tone like I had seriously ruined everything. I figured she must have been making a run to get to another room and they didn't notice but now they would hear my voice and notice her. I felt pretty bad. Also maybe I drew attention to the refuge room by doing that and gave up our location.

I forgot if the danger became any more imminent but then I woke up. I woke up very alert from the REM cycle and immediately able to go to recalling these dreams. Which is probably why I got to recall so far back. Then recorded. I think the Mario level had some kind of teddy bear character or ice thing. Maybe dragon things. It would be the #1 part I'd like to remember if that was possible.

Now it's 3:14 AM so from about 12 to 2:30 I must have slept. So now I'm at 4-5 hours of sleep. I feel pretty good now.

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Aw, shucks. 4:15 AM and I can't sleep.

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Okay, 5:13 AM. I just did some work and now feeling sleepy so back to bed.

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Cool! So now its 7:25. I must have slept like 1.5 more hours so I'm at 6-7. Not really the most in the world but I feel pretty rested.

I had more dreams. This was one of those times I'd wake a little, think of it, let myself sleep, drift, and accumulate dreams. I tend to be able to "get away with" this in the last sleep cycle when I have lots of micro awakenings and my brain works again.

In the first dream I was one of 5 people on a bed. There was something about how there were holes in the bed 2 of us were poking through. KP was on the far right side and it wasn't symmetrical because there was already someone on that side with only 1 person on the far left. So he had to get up but the bed was angled so that he couldn't get up by rolling out. One of us in the middle poking through the holes would have to roll in, then he could roll in.

He must not have wanted to wait, because he tried to roll out anyway, and got his neck stuck in some of the bed rails. I remember the red marks on his neck and how he continued straining against it, making it worse.

I had an false awakening which I almost detected as lucid, in my room at my parents previous house. I remember trying to test it by opening my eyes and seeing if I saw through my eye mask. I was sleeping on my right, like in physical world. But in this case a wall was in front of me, illuminated with yellow squares of light.

The second time I opened my eyes, I saw black. I figured this meant I was looking at the inside of my eye mask. However, I still tried to roll out of body. It just didn't work, or I was too hesitant to roll my physical body.

I felt some cold shower water falling on me, and couldn't move. I am not sure if anything else happened in that room.

This guy was doing a self improvement thing. He was feeling kind of down about himself and listing his previous qualities which he no longer liked about himself.

Then the dream showed his wall thing which showed various qualities he wanted to have, or had "accomplished". He also listed some sub-reddits he went to for support. r/90km was a support group to run 90 kilometers. r/stinkinthinkin was a support group for "positive self talk". (BTW I'm not sure if these are actual sub-reddits and what they really correspond to! Just what they were in the dream.)

There was also some stuff other people added. One was a paper plate with a cute kid's drawing of a person and it said "married".

In another part I was in my Nana's room, but it was my room, and it was around 4:02 PM. I was eating sugar because I had taken a supplement which it would help the absorption of. Pure table sugar. Then I got worried because I don't eat table sugar in waking life, and thought I had relapsed. I ate some brown rice afterward. It was 4:02 PM and I thought I should do some exercise until dinner at 5, but decided to just have dinner early, because I was hungry.

Next I was in a class room. The teacher was teaching in front. However instead of just desks, the class room had some library shelving. Kids from class were hiding on the far side of the library shelving, out of the teacher's sight, to eat things or do whatever they were doing.

I was sitting near J and a red haired girl who I will call L but might have been M. J did a joke of throwing something at L. A few moments after he had done the joke, I pretended to try to block it in slow motion. Knowing I was too late anyway. "You saved me!" Joked L. I felt happy she got my joke and was playing along. I think I said something else.

Then J became R. L was dating R. They had been together a while. I remember some white circles becoming blue.

Then I was walking down the hall with L. She was like, "I'm glad R is finally gone. I was getting so sick of him." I felt for a moment that she wanted to be with me now but I knew they were a long term couple. So I joked that she would be wishing R was there within a few hours and would be to where she couldn't wait to see him. She laughed and went up the hall. Even though I was not lucid, I still feel good about my dream-state-self's response to that. Like it was the "right" thing to do.

I think there was also a thing of putting on my grey sock. And there was a big brown bug or something. I can't tell what that's from.

So, that was good. I had a thing at 7:30 so I had to make short hand notes and finish writing at 8:30. However it worked out fine.

It's 7PM. I did 2,083 words of waking life recall today. Pretty thorough. I want to see if that prepares me for dream recall.

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I slept and had some dreams. Recalled more than usual for first round of dreams. I remember a vague part of some video game type of thing. Running around. There were these energy cubes I had to collect. For one, I had to go into a hut, and grab the energy cube. It was more complicated by some enemy characters who ran around. Maybe reptile things or dragons. Maybe canines or something else. Not sure. This part is one of those "tip of my tongue" things.

Then it showed a Mario side scroller level with just a door and kind of a blank platform. The idea was that if the player waited a while and left the game running, a new part of the game would open up.

Then I remember (J) and some other people on an internet forum. One post was from a 12 year old saying (J) was helping them, so that was nice. Another post was about helping (J) quit an addiction I think.

I remember a part with (RJ) in my living room. Something about the tan couch being a certain height, and not blocking the TV now, that it was gone.

As I write, I keep getting little glimpses of that earlier part but nothing I can put into detail.

The last part I remember is of some kind of forum thing. Someone was posting, and I realized I had no interest in rescuing or advising anyone where my advice wasn't asked. Previously I would want to jump in and save everyone but this time I was just able to read it, without a need to rescue everyone.

Too bad about the first scene. I will keep thinking about it when I go back to sleep and see if it comes back to me.

I laid down to bed around 730 and now its 11:30 so I slept 3-4 hours so far.

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1:04 AM. Couldn't sleep since 11:30. Got all this stuff on my mind.

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Alright. Now it's 2:31AM. I'm gonna go lay down again and see if I can sleep. Only got 3-4 hours so far so hoping to salvage the night.

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I had some interesting dreams. They began with some stuff but I didn't remember it. I remember seeing Lucario there, and asking him to teach me stuff. I forgot what the first stuff was but then I asked him for help learning to throw and catch. He threw a boomerang to (or at!) me and it hurt my hand. I was like, "Not so hard!" Then I threw a frisbee or boomerang thing but it went way into the room where no one was. There was someone else further away.

Then there was a line of people outside, waiting for food. Near a bunch of those gym balls people do abs on, and some storage bins. (CC) had one storage bin. I wanted to go kick one of the grey/silver gym balls and start a game of all of us kicking a ball around.

Then I accidentally moved (CC)'s grey storage bin instead. Uh-oh. It seemed like he thought I was going to take his food. So I tried to explain myself. "I was meaning to kick the ball and start a game."

Everyone seemed really hungry.

(T) had braces. She was saying how she will chew on someone's hair if she doesn't get some food soon. I could relate, and kind of laughed, because I chewed on my first GF's hair as a joke. But I didn't want to admit that to them in case they thought I was weird.

I forgot if there was anything else of that. I woke up and recalled it, groggily from the insomnia.

Then I found myself walking around upstairs. I heard some guys, seeming my age, talking out front of my door. They seemed to be electricians. I worried they might be smokers, and went to make sure the windows in the front of the house were closed.

When I got into that room, the walls were red-orange like in waking life. But there was a big stereo under the window, like 2.5 feet tall, 2.5 feet wide. I realized I must be dreaming. Part of it was realizing I had just been in bed, recalling my other dream. So I must have gotten into another dream.

My first idea, being lucid, was to try to phase out the window and fly. I considered opening it first but stuck to phasing out. However I didn't have luck getting through.

When I realized that might cause the dream to end, I stopped and went to stabilize. However, I did a finger palm test instead of rubbing hands or spinning. My finger went through. Then I saw a table had appeared with a plastic bag of apples.

I went over to eat one. There was also a white paper bag. The dream said a very unique and interesting phrase about powdered donuts. However, the phrase evaporated from my mind within seconds. I knew the phrase would be hard to hold onto from past experience, but not that slippery.

So anyway, in the dream, I heard the phrase, and went into the bag of donuts. They were more like big glazed donut hole things (the circles) but more bumpy shapes. They looked really good. I reached my hand in and thought, "The dream's gonna end right before I get to eat one, isn't it?" Tried to mentally stabilize it a little bit just by focusing but I woke up.

Woke up, recalled it, tried to reach back to the previous dream as much as I could, and now recording it. 3:36AM now so I must have only slept 30-40 minutes, making me in the 4-5 hour range. Gonna go back to sleep now, feeling very tired.

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In the next round of dreams, I saw some people sawing a tree down right accross the road. It was a big tree, and it passed through an awning. I was annoyed at the noise, and mad they were cutting another tree for no good reason.

I remember being at my desk. There were 3 jars of green olives, with red lids. My Dad was there, and I asked him to please put his olives away. He said okay. He had been busy at work. My sister said how he had been working in this cold building at night, and needed his blanket. He came out with a blanket from a room accross the hall. There was another big bin of green olives.

In another part, I remember being near a railing. Trying to pull myself up.

My sister was trying to tell us what to do. I noticed out the window the hill outside the window slanted down really far. I wondered if the slant would be a problem if I ever had to escape.

I took a shower. My soap was blue. The shower nozzle aimed half-in the shower, half-onto the floor. I tried to adjust it. Some friends were chatting. (GB) was saying how he was taking 4 Lucid Esc a night. I thought to myself, "Wow. I guess pills don't do all the work." Kind of thing. It was on a message board, with black background, and white-orange text.

I remember there was other talk about dreams.

I went to get a water. At this restaurant place. Asked the guy behind the bar for a water. He gave me one in a plastic cup, but a girl wanted a water, so I gave her that one. They were pouring me another but someone gave me an ice cold water bottle I could drink from. Thanks! I remember it was so cold.

After that, I walked to this other place that had a line. They had built the line like the line at some banks that curves around. Something happened on the line, maybe someone touching me. Some of this or a lot is vague, unclear in my mind.

Then I was on a train kind of thing. Someone said something about compassion. Then someone came up to me with a gun to shoot me. Or they were going to attack me and I shot them. They turned out not to be hurt and it was just a trick.

I was flying around the arboretum. I remember flying above the part with the hills of mulch and wood choppings. Tree to tree, kinda.

The next part was about my friend (L). She had lunch with a friend at 2, but was willing to eat lunch with me at 1, also. I remember maybe earlier, backing out of a spot at the arboretum really recklessly, without even looking. When I had pulled along the parking lot I was like, "Wow, I didn't even think of looking." But that I had got lucky. Something about not being ready to go out. Also I was telling her I couldn't go out sooner, because I'd just had a dream, and hadn't recorded it yet. If I would have gone out first, maybe I'd forget the dream.

There was also a scene where I was telling one woman about how she could try to put her thumb through her hand, and that would make her remember a dream. She laughed dismissively and went out the door. Other people were there.

So, I think that was it. I also remembered in the previous dream that I saw Lucario's mouth open and close as he talked. And he had a male voice, kind of like my voice.

Okay, now it's 5:23. I must have slept like 4 to 5. Making me at 5 to 6 hours sleep now. Still a long way to go!

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Great! It's 8:50 AM now so I must have slept 2 more hours, putting me around 8 hours of sleep. I feel pretty rested. I woke up from one sleep cycle, not able to recall much. But must have fallen back to sleep. When I woke up I had more dreams. I laid there for at least an hour (estimate) thinking about them and snoozing more, not in a hurry to get up. They stayed in my head.

I remmeber a scene of being near this auditorium. R (an older guy from a meeting) was holding up a book and talking about the Fourth Step. Another guy was in the front, talking. I began to worry someone would start to smoke.

Maybe some kind of ball game, in a gymnasium. Just a vague idea of it.

I remember walking out by some dumpsters to get something. Not sure what. I noticed an air conditioner window fan thing in there all busted. And a silver metal contraption. Not sure what I was actually looking for. Someone was using a chain saw on a wood block. It had parts jutting up out of it. And he was producing individual boards. The saw was annoying me. Maybe also due to it being Sunday morning, and him still running it.

I guess I went back in and near the gymnasium part.

Someone said something kind of radical. Someone else disagreed. I remembered a mouse picked up a pencil and sword-fought a human with it. The human also held a pencil. The tips collided. It seemed like they were just playing along, not a lot of animosity.

(There was a part with a forum page in an earlier dream coming to mind now.)

Then a scene with an older man type of character. But his left shoulder and maybe other parts of his body had like a hole in it. It was kinda freaky to me. The hole had like skin flaps in it though. Didn't look very healthy.

I think that's everything. I'm glad to have ended up getting enough sleep after all. I got lucid in two sleep cycles so my LD count gets a plus two. Aiming to continue the waking life recall as thoroughly as possible each day.

I went to bed around 9 and probably slept within a half hour. I got up once and remembered a dream or two but fell back to sleep.

In that dream I remember this thing with Spongebob, Piglet, Winne the Pooh, and a cast from both of those shows. Spongebob stepped out of an invisible house. Maybe Gary was there. I remember seeing Piglet gobble some honey.

There was something at the end, maybe about circumcision trauma. Not seeing the trauma itself but reading about it or talking about it.

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I fell back to sleep and had more dreams. At first I remember dreaming of going on a website. It needed to be translated. Something about statistics on kinds of beers maybe. Not quite sure. (I don't drink.) Then trying to fall asleep, but in my previous room at previous house. I was setting some kind of timer thing on my cell phone as well as another audio, not sure why. Something about 10, 20 or 30 minutes.

I remember getting up and going to the kitchen. In the fridge, there was some food, I took out and ate. It was the kitchen at my previous house, and house I grew up in. Someone on the phone or online was talking about his lucid dreams but it seemed like he only posted dreams once every 2 weeks. I wanted to ask him if he posted dreams only then, or if I actually only did dreaming practices once every 2 weeks, for competition.

Then I guess some other stuff happened I'm not sure of or it shifted. Next thing I remember is being on a beach. There was also a forum icon of (C) with a guitar. She had brown hair. It was interesting to actually see her. I wondered why she wanted to put up her photo on her avatar in that setting.

Next, I was at a beach. A young woman, pregnant, asked my friend and I if we wanted to talk towards the shore. The ground was dense with cigarette butts. I was even holding a long cancer stick with yellow and white, but trying to throw it away. i hadn't smoked it and I didn't want anyone to think I had. There were black rocks and sand.

My friend didn't want to go with her, but I did. So I guess we started walking there. Then it kind of shifted to walking into this dormitory or college house thing. (RK) and some other guys from that house were talking about smoking weed, and offered me some. "No thanks, I've been clean a long time and I want to keep going," I said. It seemed like a tough choice but I was clear on it. They went to smoke more.

Something about how I went upstairs. And walked around. I don't know who else was there, maybe (MC). I'm getting a flash back of (DF) in a dream scene but only a "tip of the tongue" thing. Some stuff happened upstairs. Maybe (JA) was there.

I remember to go back downstairs, the only option was a really steep drop. It was like a 3-4 inch wide conveyor belt at an 80 degree angle from the ground. Someone easily went down it so I did, too. It worked fine and I was on the ground. I had felt a lot of fear before that. There turned out to be a wooden ladder against the wall.

We saw that the orange door had been shredded at the bottom. Kind of like a cat door had been made by shredding the bottom of that door. Uh-oh! Now people might break in. (MC) and others (I think) said that it was okay. They had four people on as security guards all night, with guns. So no one could successfully intrude.

There were some boards they considered boarding it up with. I figured, why even let someone have a chance to crawl in like that? But it didn't seem like it would line up right. One of the boards was all water logged and wavy so we threw that to the side.

Then there was this thing with an older man cartoon character showing everyone how to heat up a special kind of rifle and launch fire balls. He demonstrated sliding the bolt action (I don't know exactly what kind of gun its called) back and forth repeatedly, which generated friction. Then he rapid fired bullets out and every bullet became a bigger and bigger fire ball. I remember watching and wondering how they did that. The bolt action was circular and went around the whole barrel.

Then it showed Master Roshi in the sky, on a cloud, with a halo. There were some other DBZ Style characters in space. One was like Mr. Satan but he had some purple coloring and a halo. He was on a cloud, too. It was more surreal, so my memory is blurry. They were in a blue sky.

I remember something about Goku catching two villains and detaining them. Two other villains seemed un-caught. I was thinking to myself what Dragon Ball this must be. "Dragon Ball Cosmic?" And what kind of dragon balls it would be, now that they already did Super. "Cosmic Dragon Balls?"

I think that was all I remembered of that part.

Then it shifted to where I was watching a family of monsters. They were at a circular dinner table, in a kind of dim room, and they seemed to be sitting to dinner. There were three child monsters and one big adult monster. The child monsters forms varied but they were the same color, kind of a Plankton Green with red stripes usually. The dream showed the 3 child monsters turning their expressions into glares, one by one, at the big adult monster.

I forgot how the big adult monster responded. Maybe glared back. Not sure, but it got really tense in the room.

I dreamed of trying to put on my grey winter coat to go to school. It was going to be cold out. I had a shoe box with my stuff in it. I thought I'd wear the grey coat all day in the building. But then remembered how much they crank the heat in there, and decided I probably would want to take it off.

The last thing I remember is dreaming of being on a phone meeting. I talked about some things as if I was explaining what happened last time, then asked if I could share about my particular trauma. No one seemed to answer. I almost did but held back, not being able to tell what was holding me back, or what I really wanted to say. Then I woke up, and recalled the dream, staying perfectly still a while to think it through.

After solidifying it in my head I typed all this out. Now its probably 3 AM so that's 5-6 hours of sleep I got so far.

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Another interesting set of dreams. I feel groggier so I hope I get them right.

I think the earliest I remembered was being in my room with some other people. A younger guy was asking about how to write songs. I told him that if he really wanted to write like me, he would have to get clean and sober. I told him I write like 20,000 words a day and if I drank alcohol or smoked anything or whatever, I definitely wouldn't. I'm not sure if it helped him.

I found myself watching Youtube clips of various things, wondering if I had relapsed on that habit. Then I was like, "No, its just one video, I'm okay." But I felt worried. It was a Spongebob music video. However, I couldn't close it or turn off the volume. I was freaking out, yelling, cursing, wanting this thing to shut off. Also it was around 4AM and I wanted to go back to sleep.

Eventually, it shut off. I was hungry so I got my jar of peanuts and put some water in it. I figured the water would make them softer. Then I would brush my teeth after eating them. But I wondered what I was doing, and didn't want all that water to keep me up. The water had peanut-dust floating on the top.

Next I went out of my room for something. There are some details I forgot. There were raccoons. I remember a raccoon's tail poking out of a drawer. It was nestled in there. I thought of dogs that would protect us from the raccoons eating all our stuff.

Oh, there was one interesting part, not sure when. But I drew an optical illusion thing that could have been waves in and ocean and a sky with clouds, or it could have been a grassy field with trees. I felt happy with the drawing. Maybe I will try to draw it in waking life.

So I headed back to my room. Then I went out again to make sure that raccoon wouldn't eat all the clothes in the drawer. Two more raccoons were out. They were very aggressive, and chased me. I ran back to my room, narrowly escaping them. Fear!

Once I was back in my room, the dream showed a black background with white lines, drawing of me climbing up the loft bed while raccoons still chased me. But in cartoon form.

I feel unsure as to what comes next. Well, I know I was on the computer again.

Then I was at this wedding thing. I asked someone to speak. They said they don't like to speak in front of large groups. Their assistant (female) agreed.

Someone spoke up front. My friend (MM) had put a website online where he sold snack foods at high prices. He wanted people to buy it from him but it seemed to me that no one would, because it would be so much less money to get it in the store. We talked about how something like a one dollar item might have a higher percent mark-up than a ten thousand dollar item, so selling one dollar items might be more profitable overall.

I remember walking through the church, going down stairs backwards. Wondering about all this religious stuff in the church. But afraid to comment that I don't like all the religious stuff, since most people seemed all into it, and they would be against me.

I went to the cafeteria thing to get food. There was a metal thing that opened and closed where the dirty dishes went. I put my dirty dishes there. One of the men from the kitchen came to the dish place and saw that hot cocoa was spilling. He took a dirty cup and caught some of it to drink. "Chocolate!" he said. He happened to be Hispanic but I am not being racist, just mentioning the dream detail, for completeness sake!

I was thinking of how to get a cup of decaf men's coffee. In my mind there was men's coffee and women's coffee. (A) was talking to someone. I overheard their conversation, but now I don't remember what it was about.

Next I remember the wedding almost going to start. The actual ceremony, not just speakers. I went out to a car and there didn't seem to be a drivers side door. Then I found it. It was a little sports car but I could stand up inside it when i went in. I put something on the back dashboard thing by the back window, maybe a mirror. It seemed to go far back.

I was changing my shirt and putting on a suit. Some older people walked by on the way to the wedding and saw me changing but I didn't care.

There was something about how (A) married someone but something was different about his wife's reproductive system. So there was some difficulty having children. However it showed three kids in a driveway, near some cars, playing. So I'm not sure what it was saying.

I was cognizant of having eaten. So I couldn't put on my retainer without brushing my teeth. However I didn't want to be late to the wedding for brushing my teeth, so I thought that I would just go without my retainer. But I kind of wanted to be seen with it in, not without, so I was torn.

How did the rest of that go? I think that was it. Now its 5:16 AM so I must have slept from 3:30 to 4:30, maybe a little longer, making me at 6-7 hours of sleep. This is perfect timing and its likely I will get one more sleep cycle.

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Cool! I got one more sleep cycle. However, my dream recall was not as thorough. I remember dreaming of a guy with a grey/silver sports car. Something about the car caused back pain or something like that. He wanted help with it. I drove something else. I remember pulling through a gas station, on the right hand side. making a left onto a road and then a right back onto the road I was on. Not to evade a light. Not sure why. I remember still seeing the silver/grey sports car again. We got to the woods and the road ended. Also we were walking but I think the cars just dissappeared, we didn't get out of them. As we walked through the woods, I noticed the pavement come to an end. Some guy in the woods might have been aggressive toward us or something I'm not sure.

Next thing I remember is being in front of a TV in my Nana's living room. I remember something was playing on the TV or on my laptop that was kind of disturbing, something I didn't want to see. However, I closed my eyes, and still saw it.

I had a rack with Pokemon card packs in it and other things. Something about playing catch. A cartoonish thing. I had taken one Pokemon card pack, opened it, and stuffed 3-4 more unopened packs in it, as a surprise to someone. It was noticably thicker though. A reddish and bluish color. There was another kind of pack on the rack. The rack was clear plastic with compartments.

In another part I was supposed to move my stuff out of the room in my Nana's house. It was Saturday, Sunday, Monday. They expected me to do it by Sunday but I said it could wait, since I don't have to work Monday.

In the last scene I remember, my sister had got home from a field trip. Instead of going straight back to school, my parents wanted her to stay home for a debriefing. So she could process the trip before being put right back into more activity. I remember her writing on paper, each line at first, then skipping lines.

I woke up from that and kind of drew a blank. I managed to latch on to a few details but I think there was more. It's okay. I got alot of dreams tonight. I must have woke up from that at 6:30-6:40 so it makes another hour of sleep, putting me at 7-8 in total again. I guess that's alright.

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Another thing I did was 3,279 words of waking life recall. As thorough as possible. If I can keep up with it I want to see if that boosts my dream recall word count.

Thursday... I was probably asleep by 9 or 930. Off comp around 830, pretty exhausted.

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I got up once and remembered two dream fragments very vaguely. I think one was a forum thread but I forgot what forum. The other seems more involved but I lost them. Fell back asleep quickly.

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The next round of dreams I remembered in more detail. In the beginning, there was a big scene with Vegeta fighting Dabura. Dabura was huge, like his head was 5 times as tall as Vegeta. I thought it was waking life and a Youtube Clip. It scared me. I wanted to not look. However there were moments when Vegeta pummeled Dabura. I wanted to loop those to feel more hopeful, even though Vegeta seemed to lose.

I think there were more such moments. Something intense happened to the planet. Not sure. I remember trees in that scene.

I remember being in a food store. Something with one or two Oriental or Hispanic people.

Maybe something with a dog. Not sure.

Now my memory gets clearer. I was in a cafeteria room thing. (G), my first girlfriend from when I was about 14, was there. She was dating someone else.

We were in a cafeteria with circular tables. I got dessert and sat with (G). Now we were together and the guy she was with was gone. Something about eating the dessert. A little is vague here. I got up to get something else we wanted.

Walking to the front, I knocked over the projector rollout screens twice. People seemed mad at me. The thumb tacks went rolling on the floor. People were like, "You'll never find those push pins." But I easily found them. I attributed my ocular focus to something but I forgot what.

Then I went outside. I guess I ran one way or maybe just ended up in a parking lot. Not sure. There was something about how it had been snowing. I only had my sneakers, but I was gonna have to run accross the football field to get something, before it was too late. So I didn't want my sneakers to have to be all wet but they would. However it became warm without me noticing.

I clearly remember being in a parking lot and hearing (SD) and (JV) talking about dating.

As I heard them talk, I started running through the parking lot, back to the building down the road. I ran between some parked cars. Other cars were pulling in. I looked to the window for smoke, but no one was. 'Wow, lucky day,' I thought.

Running speed was good. In the dream context, I was thinking of how I hadn't lifted heavy in a week, and this would make me run much faster. I started to jump about 5 feet with one leg. 'Wow,' I thought. 'What a good way of running. I should always run like this.' Not realizing it was a dream.

There was a field to my left as I approached the building. I had to cross it to go in. So I went in there. There were four Japanese women with glowing auras. They had a disc they would play catch with, without touching the disc. They floated above it and rotated it underneath them, between their ankles, then above their head, then passed it. The aura was golden and the disc was reddish. It was dark out.

I joined right in, feeling confident that I could do it too. Without realizing it was a dream, I levitated and telekenetically passed the disc back to them. At some point I fumbled a little, and the woman on the left laughed. I wasn't too offended or anything, but I wished they would have noticed the skill I did spontaneously demonstrate, instead of kind of judging me. What do they expect? I've never done it before.

I ran accross the field some more and back into the school. Someone wanted red volley balls. I got into the gymnasium and there was a whole big hammock (like a 50 by 50 hammock) covered in red volley balls. Maybe it was superhumanly high up. However I was able to knock some down. So someone played with a red volley ball.

At some point my friend (E) turned out to be there. Apparently he had been there all along because I was his ride home. It was getting late as I was managing time with (G), time with another woman, a class thing, and getting my stuff to the car. "You could do my bidding," I suggested to (E). "I don't want to do your bidding," he replied.

He had assumed I was doing something highly illegal. So I just explained how I needed him to keep (G) company while I got to my class and picked up my stuff. It was late, too, perhaps approaching midnight. He understood that and agreed, since it would speed things up, for him to get home. He was wearing grey, too. I thought (E) and (G) might like each other and that was no problem.

With them there in the cafeteria, and (G) not alone any more, I went up to the class. At the same time, I think that (E) and (G) came upstairs and joined us. I felt estranged from (G) and she gravitated towards some of her friends. One of her friends had blonde hair. Then as a group I think we all walked up stairs. I remember sprinting up stairs at least once, maybe multiple times. In a big hurry, very overwhelmed.

We got to the upper class room and there was a counselor. It was like group therapy. However, all 6 to 10 people wrote every word the therapist said, for legal reasons. I saw some and it looked like inner child writing, but people were using their right hand. However my dream had still rendered it as inner child writing, which many times it renders handwriting as.

There was a form handed out with some boxes for things like SSN and all that. I either took one for later or left it. Sorry this part is a little jumbled. I had to go downstairs and back up. I had a key to get back into the building. It got later and (E) and (G) had to wait more. Eventually I ran back up to the class room with (E) to get what I'd left there. Wanted to take a storage bin but they were all full. So I just got everything in my arms. It was very chaotic.

I hadn't filled out the form thing, so I needed to take another to do while I was away. I got really mad when there didn't seem to be another. I began to curse and fume. Then with (E) there, I kinda caught myself. "Sorry, (E). I was just getting angry. I'm trying to work on that." I didn't curse and fume as much any more, and found a folded up form I could take. It was folded up into a square thing.

Then we went back downstairs. I forgot what else happened with (E) and (G). I remember seeing the blue bin in the therapist's office with papers sideways in it. Maybe something happened at the end, or maybe it just faded out.

I had another mini dream thing where there was concern for some water blasts going accross the land. It showed these two streams of water like a Hydro Pump shooting accross some land. People were concerned that it was bad for the Earth. However, it was not man made, but a natural phenomenon. I think that was it, for that part of the dream.

Cool! So I got these down. Kind of sad about the first round of dreams. I didn't recall much anyway but I'll keep my Voice Recorder running just for those small tid bits that I wouldn't want to go through all the trouble of opening up the computer for.

I'm happy about this dream. Wow! Now, it's 4:14 AM. So I must have slept until about 3:15. 9, to probably 1, up a little, then 3:15, so, 6 to 7 hours of sleep. I'll probably manage to get one or two more sleep cycles... Hopefully two.

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Okay, so now, its 5:56. It took a while to sleep so I must have only slept 30-45 minutes. So now I'm at 7-8 hours, closer to 7.

I might have forgot some earlier parts. My memory of it starts with being at my Nana's. Some stuff happened with my Aunt C, Uncle C, Nana, maybe Dad. Not sure. I might have woke up a moment, recalled, something, and fell back asleep. Maybe, maybe not.

I remember being in my Nana's drive way and there were some cars there and some plants. I ducked under some plants to escape something and was afraid the plants would make me itchy. Examining them, I saw they probably weren't poison ivy. But still worried.

After a computer part, I was in a room with couches. I was one of 8 to 12 actors there, being prepared for a movie. A young kid came and sat next to me. I felt a warmth but he hadn't touched me. I think it made me get lucid or I got lucid shortly after.

There was one guy there who was hung over and being abusive. Really not in a good place. bags under his eyes and such.

He was especially abusive toward a darker haired guy there. I guess everyone else ignored it. I forgot what else happened, maybe the director was saying some stuff. I tend to hone in on whose being abusive due to childhood.

So then everyone seemed to dissappear, and I was definitely lucid. I think one woman was in the room. I felt overwhelmed, like I had been dreaming forever.

I have these square wall mirrors from Target. They have no frame, just like 12' by 12' squares. There was one in the same shape but gold, and another green one, both still reflective. The gold one seemed to call out to me, 'Come and pick me up!' But it was more of a feeling.

I went over and picked it up. It had a yellow square character on there and a grey square it was on top of. The grey square was just an outline of a square. There were some words like "Im Ib Il" but I don't remember them now. I tried to read them out loud, and managed to pronounce them.

I looked at myself in the mirror, crying out. "I have to remember all this!!!" Just feeling overwhelmed by how much there was to remember. I guess my dream-state-self has learned that after many dreams which seem so vivid and memorable, I wake up drawing several blanks on key parts. There is alot of sadness there but we are continuing to make progress on bridging the worlds.

Eventually I put the mirror down and noticed the green one. I looked around, being lucid. There was a young person on a computer. I went and sat near them. They were looking up things and I saw words on the screen. They seemed nervous. I wasn't sure what to say. I had sat on their left side.

There was a woman at a computer accross the room. I went to see what she was doing. Not really thinking of wanting to fly or eat stuff or any of those possibilities, just being more social I guess. The woman was doing meetup groups. Thoughts of more things to ask her came to mind, as if I had the chance to do the "talk to your subconscious mind in a dream" thing. However, the dream ended.

False awakening! The dream ended but it was a false awakening. I had to go to the bathroom but didn't want to!!! I just wanted to write my dream. One woman in the room was playing some hip hop song which said "I want my life back" and other parts. In a male voice.

My dream journal chair was as it was. My pillows had blue pillow cases and I was gonna have to arrange them. I got up to use the restroom anyway. There were pots and pans around that I tried to pee in, to save time. But the bathroom was right there, so I went. The lights were on. That could be a dream sign. But I didn't get lucid.

The toilet was tiny, like one gallon. I started to fill it up. It was very yellow in color which usually isn't in waking life, more clear. After trying a metal stove pot on the side that was already almost full too, I heard the lyric "I want my life back" and realized I was gonna need to ask these people to turn that off for me to dream journal.

I went back out there and I think I tried setting up the chair. The dream details spun in my head and I was trying to hold them.

I was relieved when I had an actual physical awakening because all the dream details weren't delayed. I was able to slowly collect them back.

Lately when I try to recall dreams, I notice there are other competing thoughts. There usually were, to some extent, but I had an easier time focusing back on the dream. This is no surprise the other thoughts come up stronger, because I am more active in some other areas of my waking life. However, I wish I could be totally, 100% focused on my dream recall at those times, with nothing else "in my way". So I will keep practicing that. In 2022 I will have 10 yrs of dream recall so I will be even stronger then.

Now its 6:28. I doubt I will get back to sleep. 7-8 hours is like minimum for me. I'll try to lay back down.

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Started the day.

Ok. 8:37 getting off the comp for bed.

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Okay! So, it took me a while to fall asleep. Maybe an hour, but I made it. I had one mini dream of a little wet cloth touching a side of a bath tub. There was some kind of special word in it.

Then I woke up a little, recalled it, and fell back asleep. The next dream was something short. I recalled it and fell back asleep. Now I can't remember what it was.

This next one got more involved. It seemed to be about my appointment tomorrow with (J). So where did it start? I was looking all over for my paper. I remember running in the woods. Running in the woods, thinking this will fix my dopamine receptors. At the arboretum. I remember it felt cool to run, and feel my lungs breathe.

The paper had his phone number on it. I hoped it was the right number. I called, and it turned out to be. But, it was an older woman. I was also running around upstairs to close the windows. Wind was blowing in. I didn't want to lose all the heat once it got cold at night.

My Nana, Aunt C, Uncle C, Dad, Mom and sister were there. Maybe others. I remember using the land line phone and thinking of my cell phone. Hm, this memory is a little more jumbly than I thought.

We were on a hill. The hill led down to a shore line on the beach.

I remember my Uncle and Dad saying something on the hill. It was night. Wow, I feel sad now. I thought that was gonna be alot more detailed when I wrote it.

I think it ended with my Dad having these really weird legume type things. They looked like extra big, golden brown pieces of dried rosemary. And then there were these other things. White circular things with some spiky top.

He said they were for helping go to the bathroom. They seemed too hard. Anyway, I think I took a few. He was going to give them to someone.

Something with my lap top in there maybe. We confirmed the appointment.

So I woke up and recalled that. However, I fell back asleep. This time by mistake. The other two times I chose to go back to sleep since it has just been a moment of a dream.

I dreamed of my room mate from college. I had been taking college courses but also playing guitar for 1.5 hours a day. Learning lots of songs, really fast. I remember thinking of how I played some impressive songs at a party.

I was out in town, near buildings and pavement and side walks. I was zooming in and out of something with a stair case, on my phone.

There was a rapper doing a song. I can't remember the words now. It's the first time I thought of it. But I knew who it was. The top of the stair case seemed to change.

Then I sat at the top of the stair case. About to do something else on my phone. I grabbed a pencil and tried to use the eraser side as a stylus and it made giant gashes in my screen.

'Oh no!' I thought, and tried to rub the screen clean. Nope, there were deep, deep gashes in the screen. I thought of asking my Dad if he could find another one of these Samsung Galaxies on sale at Amazon. But not sure how I'd do my hand-writing app with all these bumps.

I tried to run the stylus over them. It didn't seem like good news. I felt angry or sad or grief. I looked at the pencil eraser. There were some metal parts exposed that looked razor sharp. I felt like someone had planted it there to trick me into scratching up my phone.

Then I woke up in my physical bed. What a relief. Phone screen destruction night mares used to be alot more common. But then they went away so I stopped using it as a dream sign. I wasn't prepared! Oh well.

I also had a moment of maybe dream journaling in the dream. It said a name.

I thought, okay. That must be what I dreamed about in that second round of dreams. But maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. It was what I dreamed of dream journaling is all I am sure of.

Okay! It's only 12:03 AM, meaning I slept 2-3 hours so far. Weird, it felt like more sleep. Okay, back to bed! Wish me luck falling asleep!

-------------

Okay! I just woke up and recalled another round. Here it is.

Nana's. My memory starts with me at Nana's. I remember being with my sister in Nana's room. She was on the chez lounge.

I think there was something with my Mom and Dad that's vague. Maybe a spill in the bathroom. I remember standing in a big sun spot in Nana's dining room. "It is so warm in this sun spot," I said to my sister and others nearby. There might have been a big plant there.

I think Nana's front door was open. I think there was alot more to that part which got forgotten as the dream went on.

In the next scene I remember, I had some kind of pie thing. Someone else was taking it. I only remember this vaguely.

I got lured to this opening to a trail where bees flew around. I saw the bee go for my pie. I think one of them, I protected myself, and its upper body imploded. So only its thorax was flying. (I don't harm bugs in waking life. Guess I felt threatened in the dream.) There was another bee, so I ran.

I wish I could remember the part before that. Blah.

When I ran back into the field or courtyard thing, there were spider webs sealing off each exit. They appeared quickly over the entrance I'd just come in by. It was brown dirt and outdoors.

I decided to get a stick and gently move one web so I could go out. I was still running, I think from the bee. (I also usually avoid breaking a spider's web in waking life due to all that hard work they did.)

When I turned around, a big furry mongoose snake hybrid poked its head out. It was brown. It didn't come at me though. When I turned around again another animal thing came out from the other side.

There may have been a Pokemon part.

After some unsureness, my memory starts at a library. I remember red stair cases. I remember night mode on screens. I remember wanting to print something.

My friend was using the computer by the printer to print his book. He told me I should get his book. Sorry, I wasn't really interested. I sat down, waiting for his book to finish. Some spiritual advisor guy sat down near me, talking to someone else. It sounded like program talk, very white-light and that kind of thing.

I started doing hyperventilating breathing and punching my legs, also growling. This was kind of because I needed to and also to be sure to make those pasty program people remember anger. I was angry about something. I forgot what it was now.

I also remember looking at all the library shelves, and what stairs to go up.

When I sat back down, I noticed a black hand gun was on the table. No one seemed to notice it, so I put it into my bag. In the context of the dream, it was my gun, but I wasn't planning on hurting anyone. I wasn't sure why I had it.

I must have got up, done something else, and come back. When I came back, the gun was out of my bag again, on the table. Was someone taking it out of my bag as a hint? Then, the guy behind the counter put on his headphones, and brandished a silver night stick. "You might wanna go use the bathroom," he said, hinting that I should leave my bag there again, so they could finish confiscating the gun.

"It's not what you think," I tried to explain. Then I woke up briefly and recalled it, then fell back asleep into the same dream. I was pretty relieved when I woke up and found that it had just been a dream.

When I got back to that, I was going up stairs in the library. Looking for tissues to blow my nose comes to mind. Oh, I had alot of boogers. I had so many boogers all over my hand. I also saw lots of boogers rubbed on the wall so I figured I'd rub my boogers there too.

Afraid the people would be suspicious why I'd left, I got ready to explain to them, how I was embarrassed about the boogers. Once I got further up, there was a big vat thing with fluid. I heard DG saying that he got a full time job through this new government program.

That's what it was. There was a new job program from the government, giving people more jobs. I was not interested, but DG was excited about it.

He said how he was working a full time job, and taking classes at night, to advance. This seemed silly to me. Trying to cram in too much.

I guess I went back down and my back pack was there. I think I typed some things or tried to manage my print-outs. I forgot what MK's book was about. But I know the pages were coming out in night mode. I was afraid I'd have to return another day to print. This seemed not fun because I wanted to have it done.

Then I guess the library was closing. Some people were upstairs.

Another image or scene pops to my mind so vaguely though. Just on the tip of my tongue. Ah, no way of unraveling it.

BZ called something down to me.

So BZ calls something down to me. I reply with, "You dirty rotten smoker!! Why don't you quit smoking?" Something like that. So he came on his way down.

The group of them got down stairs and came towards me. I thought of my gun in my bag, just in case, but was afraid to pull it out. In case it would just get me in trouble.

BZ became C and C walked right towards me. I started apologizing and gave him a hug. "I'm so sorry I called you that. I am just so upset about the smoke. But it was mean." We hugged for a while. He was kind of pinching a nerve in my back but he stopped. His clothes didn't smell like smoke, as I feared they would.

Because we were both males, the body positioning was a little awkward. I began to realize this after a while. So it got kinda awkward and so we kinda backed away. I guess that showed that by not having a gun, I had to use other means to make it safe for myself, like making amends. But if I'd had a gun, I wouldn't need to make amends. (I don't own guns in waking life.)

Then, it shifted, and lots of people started to stampede through. It became a long corridor. (I'm getting a little flash back of an earlier scene but IDK how to unravel it!) There were lots of African American people. Two men had silver or chrome teeth but with braces on top of that. I was like, "Awesome teeth!" And then I saw Ira. I was like, "Awesome teeth, Ira!"

Then two women were to my left. More elderly women. One gestured toward the other, and she showed me a big tongue ring. It was like a straight poke-through piercing. I said something like, "Cool, thanks for showing me!"

As I ran with them, I remembered that I want to recall that earlier part with the bugs. I had a sense I'd have an easy time remembering all those dreams. When I woke up, that proved not to be the case... I got the library parts but had some blank spots for the other earlier parts.

You know that feeling when you know for sure there was a dream detail there, but just not what it was? I figure if I know it was there, there's gotta be a way to unravel it.

Okay, now it's 2:40 AM in waking life time. I got 2-2.5 hours of sleep or 5-6 total so far. Hopefully I will get another 3-4 but just seeing how it goes. A lucid would be nice! But most importantly, whatever it is, I just want to remember it very, very thoroughly.

------------

I remembered in the last dream, someone definitely conned me into giving them something, before the bug part. It might have been CR. Couldn't unravel further. Does anyone have experience with unraveling a really distant dream detail?

Okay! I'm up with more dreams. My memory of these starts with Walter White from Breaking Bad, sitting with his back to a wall. He was saying how he and his wife would do anything to get out of depression. I felt like I had an answer.

There was more before that. At least 2 big scenes. There was something with an app. It said "Inner Child". It was a way of doing a phone meeting but from a special app with special features. Something about costing 3.99 or so. The screen was green.

I was thinking the app wouldn't help, because for phone meetings, people could do those free. No one would go to ones they had to buy an app to go to.

I forgot what else had happened earlier though.

Then I guess I was in the app without having paid. I was being shown various talks and forum threads. There was a talk going on where they talked about how harming a child is wrong. And if the child is crying, the person causing it should stop. But they often don't.

As I heard this, I cried deeply, realizing my trauma. I was sitting in my dream journal chair on recline, in front of a monitor. My sister and Dad were around. I was walking around at times and my sister wondered why I had to have that on, it was unpleasant to her. I had stationed little pieces of paper around the monitor area and heard my Dad (in my mind) complaining about the pieces of paper. They had trauma recovery stuff written on them.

I felt bad that it might upset my Dad. He always seemed to "function" like a machine, no matter what, but if he began to heal from trauma I am sure that he would break down. Either way I think its something that can't be bypassed.

I had been digging my feet into the ground unconsciously. When I went to sit back down, the whole bottom portion of the chair had caved in, because it didn't have the pillow underneath it properly. (Long story of how I designed my special chair). I saw that the legs of the chair had indented the tan carpet, and I had pushed it backwards by a foot. So I tried to adjust it back.

50 Cent was doing a rap about Jay-Z and another rapper. Something about it was humorous. I tried to scroll back to loop the 5 minutes of the audio that was giving me so much catharsis over my trauma.

I remember the pieces of paper with words, in the cups. I was sad about my trauma but also glad to be having the tears, since I want to heal. I am unable to cry in waking life due to brainwashing but I've had some healing weeps in dreams.

Okay, so then, I think I woke up, and recalled all 3 scenes. The one I just said, the half of the one before it I said, and maybe the rest of the earlier parts I was unable to unravel.

I must have drifted to sleep again, this time lucid. I found myself on the beach.

I was with (A). In a kind of house thing but it only had the beams on each corner and roof... No walls! So we could see out to the beach all around. I guess it was for putting a tent over as needed.

We were talking about something when I realized I was in a dream, and became lucid. He had a bowl of pasta with red sauce and parmesan cheese to eat. He sat up on a table and I stood on the ground there. I think I was talking to him first while he ate, but I wondered if I could have some food, too. Being that it was a dream, I would have loved to have had some italian food!

I think I was telling (A) about my previous dream. He took a turn to speak, but while he spoke, he prepared his next bite of food, stirring around the sauce. As he finished speaking, he took a 2-3 inch diameter chunk of parmesan cheese to eat, and ate that. There were other big chunks too. He looked alot like (A) from waking life.

There were some big meat balls in an oven. The oven was open but they seemed to be baking. Nothing seemed for me though. (A) said, "Looks like your pasta got really solid." And pointed to a brown rock near by, on a beam counter top thing.

It was definitely a rock. But I wanted to have some fun here. He knew it was a very solid and hard rock. I looked at it, got ready, felt some doubts, but went for it anyway. Like I had intended, it became powder in my mouth. It was like a semi-sweet powder.

(A) was pretty amazed. I offered him to test the remaining rock if it were still a rock. Sure enough, to him, it was a solid, hard stone. But I was able to bite it.

"You must be so wise, that you're teaching me something, without acting like you know you are," I said to him. I meant that I thought he was lucid, too, but acting like he wasn't, to teach me. It felt like more of a shared dream than a subconscious dream.

This is where it gets really interesting. And more what i feel are third-party entities come along.

In the distance, I saw about 5 men with black hand guns approach. All wearing some soldier uniform, one brighter yellow green, one greener, I forgot the rest. Some helmets.

I felt some fear as they approached. Being lucid, I got ready to fly. There was a beam I would first aim to jump to, then a roof higher up, which I could escape from.

"Come with us," they ordered me. 'No,' I thought, and jumped up to the beam. I felt heavier, and hadn't flown yet in the dream. Maybe they were making me a little less able to fly. I aimed for the roof and jumped up. Got up about 10 feet but I would have needed another 5 feet.

Looking down, I saw two of the men had the hand guns pointed at me. "Get down here like we said, or we'll shoot!" I didn't want to feel a bullet if I moved another inch. "Okay, I'm coming down," I said. "I'm coming down!! Don't shoot!!" I added, afraid they would just be so reactive that they'd fire anyway.

I was afraid to go with them. It didn't seem like a good place to go... Where as I could talk about my trauma healing dream with (A), I felt my body go cold and numb when I got near these "dream agents" or whatever they were. But, I was gonna just go with them, I guess. I half expected it to be a long dream of me being imprisoned, questioned, something like that.

When my feet touched the dream ground, I simply woke up. I don't know if I would have woke up if I'd have kept fighting, trying to fly away or deflect the bullets. If it was a shared dream with (A) it probably seemed kinda weird to see all that, if he woke up and remembered. But I could see how if (A) was non-lucid, the "dream police" would come to get me for doing alchemy on the stone. Still, I already did it! So, too late.

I've heard of these dream police when showing off dream abilities. Maybe it's just a schema. Or maybe its an actual thing that happens "out there" in the shared-dream field and by accepting the reality of it, I can learn how to... Work around it, fight it, deal with it, etc. What do you think?

Now it's 4:31 AM. I hope to sleep at least once more but maybe even twice. I think I've accumulated 6-7 hours of sleep by now. Need more!

-----------

Alright! I got me some more dreams.

First I dreamed of being in a restaurant I worked at growing up.

Only it was criss-crossed to where the manager was someone from a different restaurant I'd worked at. It was early in the season. A couple had sat in the front at a square 4 top.

T (The manager) had already taken some of their orders. I was surprised that he had memorized everything. The people started to tell me that they wanted wine coolers. They already seemed to have cups so I was confused.

I sat down with them and said, "I haven't worked here in a year!" My voice sounded different. I remember the windows in the front, and the dark brown. I forgot if anything else happened.

I woke up, recalled that, and went back to sleep. "No way I'll forget that," I thought. However, I almost did forget it... after I woke up and recalled the next dream, it took me quite a while to dig that one back up.

Well, I fell back asleep, and had another dream. I was on the computer. Then I decided to go on a forum. Before I could make it to the forum, I woke up.

I woke up and recalled those, then recovered the memory of the restaurant dream. I decided to let myself go back to sleep before recording because they were short dreams.

My last dream I dreamed about a computer again.

I dreamed I was in my back yard too. So, I woke up, recalled those, and got up and typed.

Now its 7:20 AM meaning I slept another 2 hours. So now I have 8-9 hours of sleep under my belt. It still seems like not enough, and that I could sleep more. I will see if thats possible and if not, start my day.

------------

Well, looks like its time to start my day. I can always nap if I'm tired. That was really nice to have a full night sleep again.

Well, I think I was asleep by 830 or 9. And then I must have woke up at 1245 or 1. So that's 4 hours of sleep. But now its 1:44 AM and I couldn't sleep. I tried 2 body scans.

My only dream I remembered from that time was something with text, on a forum, about how to deal with my anger towards smokers. And something at a location of the trail I was at yesterday.

So I got up and I'll do some reading/writing until I get tired...

~~~

Okay now its 3:35 AM. Wow, I sure had alot of energy. Spent like 2 hrs doing my different work online. I was very productive and I guess I just had alotta energy. But now I feel sleepy and gonna lay down...

~~~

Its 4:08. I tried listening to Eckhart Tolle to help me fall asleep. after ~20 mins I just knew it wasn't happening. IDK What's going on with me. Up again.

~~~

Now its 3:40 PM. (Not AM) I napped from like 1:30 PM to maybe 2:15 then nap again until maybe 3:30.

I surprisingly woke up from a dream and remembered it, which is rare during the day. There was a scene in the beginning with a convertible car, and 2 parents? Maybe the parents asking me if what I was doing was really good for me.

I tried and tried to remember it, but couldn't. I think I remember a female dream figure and some vine thing.

I remember a bit later of a part with trying to play a video game. One character had a spoon with a picture of Bowser on the inner-part of the spoon, with horns. He put it over his face. It was meant to be a mask and/or a trophy.

He was going down the stairs side ways, and had got half way down. Playing Super Mario 64 on Youtube and had got 164 stars. He was considering going back up the stairs before going all the way down. Concern about symmetrical leg usage.

I woke up and recalled that. I am still going over it in my mind but the rest is just on the tip of my tongue. But there comes a time when I'm like, okay. If I was gonna remember it, it would have come to me by now. Time to give up.

~~~

I got off the computer around 7 and stopped taking in any media. That's kinda my policy now since I need processing time. I think I was asleep by my goal time of 9.

Okay so dream one not much was recalled. I recalled driving through a crowd of people to get to a mall. I had my windows wide open because I thought I knew the people. When i realised I didn't know them, I quickly shut my windows, afraid of smoke.

I came accross some friends sitting against a wall. P S and J R and some others. But I don't remember what we did or said.

There was another part to that dream I initially recalled but then fell asleep!

I dreamed again and woke from them. This time it was a little clearer but still groggy. I remembered something with being at a food store. Something about needing to use the bathroom.

I was at my Nana's. She cooked for us. I was trying to do something on my phone. There were alot of alerts on my recovery forum. I was telling someone that if they use machines for exercises, make sure their back isn't held in place, so they can adjust the angle. Trying to explain that.

There was a bully at my Nana's. He was talking about something abusively or just something that felt wrong to me, at Nana's table, with another friend. I called him out on it. He was a big guy. He tried to invalidate me. I continued writing my thing, beginning to fume.

Then 6 of us were going to give talks about a recovery topic.

My turn was last. A glass was rolling around on the floor. I was afraid the bully guy was going to say, "Just skip his turn! Let's get out of here!" I saw him more and more as a sick and wounded person, and that's where his bullying came from. Not really an evil person but acting quite hurtfully towards me, in his diseased thinking and defense mechanisms. Out of touch with true feelings.

So before he could speak, I said that it's my turn, and I don't want him to cut me off. He kind of laughed, tauntingly. I felt it was hard to speak. My voice was so quiet. The guy at the front of the room was wearing a dark black or grey shirt with yellow pumpkin carving moon design things semicircley things on it. He said, "Wrap it up" or "Hurry it up." This is always a huge trigger for me - Being told to not talk as much or something. Being oppressed, rushed, or made to feel unimportant. Not given the chance to be fully heard.

I had already been thinking of saying it in 5 sentences though since I genuinely wanted to go, too. My first sentence was, "I was born with trauma." Then I woke up. Oh, it had just been a dream.

I woke up, recalled and recorded that one. Then laid down to get back to zleep.

Falling asleep didn't seem like it was gonna happen. My legs were fidgety. But luckily, it happened. I'm glad I didn't give up because I had alot of wakefulness within my dream.

I thought I'd try just typing this instead of voice recording. Okay so initially I had a dream which was kind of underwater. It was like Sponge Bob, Mr. Krabs, Patrick, and other characters in some fight or something. It's kinda vague to me now because as you will see, the dream chain went on quite a while.

Okay so then the next thing was that I was going through a bin. It had a Pokemon crystal cartridge, but with no label. Then I was in a class room, talking to a dream figure.

She said that she didn't like classes. I remember the teacher was up front of the class and there were other kids there. I told her grades weren't such a big deal. Hey eyes opened wide at the revelation. I liked talking to her and felt I was being helpful. Not telling her to go live recklessly but just to have some balance in her life and let go of all the pressure and perfectionism.

Then everyone disappeared! I think I became lucid somewhere in there. Forgot exactly how. It must have just dawned on me.

Then I walked around and came accross a heavier set guy near a bus. He reminded me of someone I'd seen before, but now, I'm not sure who. I decided to talk to him.

"How are you?" I asked. "So, so," he replied. The words stuck with me. I don't remember the rest of the conversation, but it was pretty interesting.

Next there was a bus driver. We were near a yellow bus. There was something with maybe the bus driver being mean. I'm not quite sure.

I think there was a whole scene with non-human beings of some sort. but it got to be such a long dream chain that the details must have just faded.

What I remember next! Is waking up to dream journal. But in a false awakening! The light was on bright in my room. I was sitting at the edge of my bed and leaning on a light goldenrod brown colored table.

There was pop music playing, of a female singer. Playing loudly. I started to wonder how to turn that off. Then I realized that was my dream sign! So this might be a dream. I proceeded a bit cautiously, not being sure. I also noticed although I was sitting up to write, my voice recorder was also out.

I don't know if I tried a finger palm test then but I remember jumping up to fly. When I stayed in the air a bit extra longer, I got the sense it must be a dream.

I think that I had 3 more dream chains after this one but when I tried to recall it, I couldn't quite tell. So I will just do my best here.

I think the next part of the dream chain was the same dream. I flew downstairs and found lots of food. Ah it is so painful not knowing what I missed. I have this inner feeling there was something else cool but I just couldn't recall it. Just on the tip of my tongue, teasing me.

After flying around a little in the living room, I realized the dream was pretty stable. So I decided to go to the fridge. Then I realized there was food all around. Maybe it just appeared. Pretzels, white frosting dip in a tall tube, some sandwich things I think, and then a yellow-crust pie with purple filling appeared. The crust was really flaky.

Eating dream food is a really expansive feeling for me because I have food allergies in waking life. So I can hardly eat anything. So eating a big variety of dream food is akin to traveling the universe for me. The feeling of just being able to eat whatever I want, whenever I want, is something I can have only in a dream.

So I enjoyed the foods. I remember the pretzel was soft. I was like, "Why did Dad leave these all here?" More of a waking life thought. Then I thought of something sweeter and the pie appeared. And I dipped the pretzel generously in a big tube of white frosting. It definitely tasted sweet. I forgot the exact order of the earlier dream foods.

Maybe I rubbed my hands to stay stable around here. I know I did it at one point. Another thing was I went to drink water. I figured taking a drink of water in the dream would make me more stable because of hydration? I don't know but it made sense to me then. So I picked up a big poland spring thing. One of the ones that is like a 3 gallon water dispenser, the big plastic one. And drank from that.

I think I woke up briefly, thought about it, and popped back into it. At this point I saw the food again and wanted to be really sure it was a dream. I think a podcast or radio thing with a woman's voice was also playing.

Oh yeah I forgot. When I was floating before I tried a front flip but it didn't work.

My finger palm tests this time were very interesting. They made a kind of stringy bubble appear on the other side of my hand. I did it 4 times, just enjoying the sensation. I also attributed some dream stability to it. When I was sure, I went for more dream food.

Once I was satisfied with that, I decided to move on. Also I heard something coming, down the stairs! I became a little wary and went to the wall behind the stairs. I saw its back and it was a grey lego K'Nex creature.

I felt afraid of it. Like I had been dreaming so long that it was here to destroy me! So once it passed through the kitchen a bit (moving slowly) I went for the front door to escape.

It seemed to notice me and begin to turn around. Before I could make it to the front door. So I ran the other way to the back of the house where the kitchen door would be. However, I was surprised to find a glass door going outside to the back yard... In the middle, where the bathroom would have been!

I ran for that, hoping to jump and phase through it, saving time. Then I started to doubt myself. I wondered if the door just wouldn't open. So it was very expectational.

The door did open though, and I got out. I remember the door handles were interesting. The looked complex, designed to lock me in. As soon as I got a little bit out of there, I popped back into my bed, once more.

I feel I am missing a whole entire segment from my memory. This is what happens to some of my REM Rebound dreams when I have had insomnia. Really long dream, sometimes very lucid, but too long to remember it! And too groggy or rusty from being low on sleep and out of practice recalling longer dreams. So I guess for me regular sleep patterns would be ideal and give a higher percentage recall.

Then I laid in bed and the ringing got to be very intense. It almost scared me. More ringing than usual. At first I just laid there, seeing if I'd pop into a dream on my own. But then I decided to get up. I knew it wasn't my physical body moving, but a "dream" or "astral" body.

I stood up on my bed, still only experiencing self-proprieception, but having no sight. Like I could feel my limbs moving and my direction and all that but no sight except black. I put my arms up overhead and jumped toward my ceiling. As I jumped, I thought something like, "I want to go to a pleasant place" but those weren't the exact words. I don't remember the exact words but they felt just right.

I remember thinking that I'd like to go to a really nice expansive place. Or some place where I could face an issue, but where I'd have the strength to face it, and the support, too. Not just a place where I'd be totally steam rolled.

Well I appeared in space, surrounded by square screens or photographs. I flew around and looked at each one hanging there in space. I tried pulling some things out of the photos into 3 dimensional. In one case I got to eat salmon locks.

I just got a HUGE influx of the memory I lost. Something canine. Unfortunately it faded afterwards. Just on the tip of my tongue again.

Okay so I woke up after a little more exploration of the photographs. This time I was clearly in my physical bed, no false awakening or anything like that. I thought the dreams through.

As usual, and I will note this 100,000 times, during the dream, I felt so sure that I'd just remember it all with the utmost ease and detail. But once I woke up I realized... Oh, yeah. Uh. Wait, what just happened? So, that's just that.

I'm glad to have had such a lengthy dream. I wanted to type it right after I recalled it, instead of voice recording, then waiting to type it that day, which could be redundant. It was weird because after I recalled it, I was like, jammed up about what recording method to use. But theres a little urgency like, well, gotta try something before the memory fades.

Okay, back to sleep... Its only 5:52 A M so I should be able to sleep again.

I didn't get back to sleep. Sometimes I feel like I should be able to but don’t.

I got lucid briefly. There was something with "7X" Goku. (Giant shoulder pads) I was on a merry go round thing holding on with only my hands. I fought someone and pinned them to the ground and took their gun. I forgot a really interesting part but just remember getting lucid from some objects that were a dream sign.

A scary elephant came into my room.
I was scared and felt alot of doom.
I knelt by my bed and asked for help.
It was not sleep paralysis so I could yelp.
The scary elephant whispered "roger that".
I woke up in my bed laying flat.
It turned out it had just been REM sleep.
And now I had a new dream memory to keep.

(doo doo chh, doo doo doo chh)

In another dream I found some flowerbeds.
But instead of dirt, there were reptile heads.
I could see they had a lot of thirst.
And if they got thirsty that would be the worst!
So I flew to Wal Mart in 5 minutes flat.
Got a gallon of water and gave them that.
I was just glad that they were alive.
Those reptiples almost did not survvei.

(doo doo chh, doo doo doo chh)

I got lucid in another part and saw myself flying.
Surprised to get lucid cause I wasn't even trying.
It was a clone of my physical appearance.
I tried to stabilize and give the dream some clearness.
Because I had been dreaming a while,
I thought I'd take a more conservative style.
I asked my clone, "Want to recall what we dreamt today?"
But my clone wasn't interested and flew away!!!

(doo doo chss, doo doo doo chss)

And before I end this conversation,
I also want to mention my false awake-nin'
I found I had a golden retreiver dog!
I pet him and then went to find my dream log.
This was after I tried to astro-project...
And I did neglect- to have reality-checked!
My land line rang and played a pop song.
But I was in my dreaming mind and nothing seemed "wrong"!!!

(doodely doo doo ch ch ch ch)

My last verse will be about this class,
I heard while I was cleaning a thing made, of green glass-
The teacher said, "What if, when you were a kid,
Everyone showed you love, no matter what you said or did?"
The rest of the class cheered with enthusiasm.
The other dream details must have fell in a chasm.
Those wise words will stick with me.
I remember the dream also had a tree.

(the end!)

2018-05-09--.pdf

6th night in a row of a good night sleep and 51m of dreams on voice recorder so good recall/vividness thanks to everyone who reads them

2018-05-08.pdf

my dreams are in the above pdf
please click to view them

I really maxed out on pictures today.

2018-05-07.pdf

(please click above pdf to read dreams)

Its been a while since I wrote my usual 3000-6000 word entry. I think that was not sustainable in terms of an amount to write. I write them a little simpler now but still keep the voice recorder file which records all the details. But also my voice recordings have only been 30-45 minutes. A month or so ago I was having some nights with 1.5 hours of dream details on my voice recorder... I think this amount is a little easier to manage right now though. I would gladly accept more dream recall but I'm just saying.

2018-05-06.pdf

dreams in above PDF

2018-05-05 - -.pdf

My dreams are in the above PDF. (click where it says 2018-05-05 - -.pdf)

Thanks