lucid

So today (last night more accurately.) I began actual formal meditations again. Seeing as in my dream journal I use an orange-blue scale with the color gradation in-between representing different phases between lucidity and non lucidity, it seems logical that meditation is more lucid than a lucid dream or any regular thoughts. Therefore I a considering that on any chance I include my meditated thoughts with my dream journals, something I may begin to do, along with the star rankings. I will probably not post a lot of meditations as I think those are personal. (The same reason I don't post all my dreams. ) But when I do, I will spoiler tag meditations since most people probably won't care to read them.

Spoiler for Meditation 3:

Well they say insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting that you will get a different result. Well I guess I'm insane then because I'm retrying meditation even though last time it resulted in me losing dream recall and dropping my lucidity rate rather than increasing it like I expected. But meditation helps me to get my thoughts in order and keeps me from feeling scatterbrained. So I'm getting back into it anyway, if not for the sake of lucid dreaming, then at the very least I can get my ducks in a row in waking life.

It's final exams week and arguably an extremely bad time to try and kick of any sort of serious lucid dreaming routine even if I do keep the stress low by properly studying and the likes, so I shouldn't consider anything serious until after that is over. But at the very least I can begin dream journaling and building up my dream recall a little more. After all recalling nonlucid dreams is a lot better and if I do come up with a motivating idea or way that I might want to try and approach this, I wont have to worry about recall and can just hit the ground running.

I've been thinking about what a chat user. (I believe it was MadMonkey) said to me, that all the really great lucid dreamers have two things in common; that they use (was it either DILD or ADA or something like that?) Maybe I can send him a PM... ; [Edit] That was Man of Shred and he said it in a comment and it was DILD [/edit] and they started young. I formally started lucid dreaming right around the time I turned 14. Not as young as some people, but at least I'm not trying to start NOW. Though it's fun to fantasize how things would have played out differently getting the presumably godlike head-start those of you who started when you were still in grade school have, I'll have to accept the fact that I can't really change that. But I suppose there's no real reason to attempt to unpack something one person said in chat so thoroughly, since I've gotten countless bits of advice on how to become a master LDer.

One thing that crosses my mind is an idea that I often put forward is how everyone's mind functions differently and techniques that work well for one person may not necessarily work well for others. Hence why everyone does things a little differently and I often take techniques with a grain of salt. Whether that also means I'm closing out particularly effective techniques simply because I decide they won't work for me is difficult to say, as I've always tried to give suggestions a fair trial.

-+-

There's something else on my mind. I've been considering how my dreams have changed lately, and I know I've talked about this before. Nonlucid dreams feel more lucid, like I'm always by default at layer 0. I've talked a lot about how a lot of really intense nonlucid dreams feel dulled out because I have a vauge awareness that what is happening is not really, but don't really break through and become lucid. In some sense I feel like after six years, even my scattered and non-unified efforts have had an effect on my dreams, shifting the entire spectrum of nonlucids a little bit lucid. Meanwhile, lucid dreams have become less clear and looking through my most recent few pages of DJ entries I can find quite a few places where the nonlucid lack of logic is infiltrating and intermingling with lucid logic, and a few places where I used the blue "Lucid color" where things should have actually been teal or green. It's almost as though nonlucid dreams are becoming more lucid and lucid dreams are becoming more nonlucid, and over the past few years the two have slowly become meshed together until now, like my past two entries, I'm semi lucid and constantly alternating my state between the two. This is what makes me feel like lucidity is a choice rather than a discovery. I sort of relate it to a space mission to colonize the moon. (In fact I relate lucid dreaming to space travel a lot.) The first time you do it, it's a big deal, and you're just happy to be there. But once you've been to the moon a couple times you want to start doing more with being there. You want to bring things with you, go to specific places and maybe establish your presence there. Getting to the moon is now no longer a question of "can I" but, how do we get the time, energy, and people to fly the rocket that we know works because we've done it two dozen times.

Okay maybe not a great example; I feel like I'm digressing. But it was this logic, that I need to just 'power up' these semi-lucids and layer 0's is what led me to want to meditate. If I can be more focused and alert, I can break through and become fully lucid in these situations, hence why meditation is key. But maybe I need to do more mindfulness oriented meditation and less subject oriented ones for it to work. Though it's that same logic that failed last time despite me having so much confidence in the idea.

Regardless, I have an insatiable itch to try my med and chart technique again even though it failed horribly last time. I'm keeping an open mind to possible changes I might make to my system, however.

But waking life should be my focus until exams are over. Doesn't mean I can't focus on LD at all, just I shouldn't get obsessed with it.

One other thing that I meditated on is Spellbee's comp going on. I used to be really adverse to lucid dreaming comps because I thought they were a sort of bastardization of lucid dreaming, turning a passive, relaxing and fun activity into a soulless game of efficiency of dream control feats and lucid chains. I always argued with myself that lucid dreaming should follow the philosophy of my Taekwondo studio, compete against yourself to be better than you were, and don't worry about others. But I suppose I can re-orient your way of thinking that to participating in a lucid dream comp and only focusing on how I improve relative to myself rather than making it into a big old dick measuring contest among my fellow lucid dreamers. I'm competing to see what I can accomplish, not how many people I can preform more dream control feats than. Though if that were the case then I could just score myself whenever I wanted and using my own system. (Given I have some qualms with the standard LD comp scoring system and it's heavy emphasis on dream control, offering only peanuts to NLDs and nothing for the waking work you do.) After all I still feel like I've accomplished something by doing meditation and RCs, even if no LD results from it, and I would like to feel like I've somehow 'won' just by doing all the work.

Yet I still feel driven to set a goal for myself; to build myself up and participate in the next competition. (They happen every 3 months so the next one will be in August.) So in some regard I must enjoy the slingshot of motivation that I get from competing against others, even though I recognize it's a philosophy I disagree with. (I suppose it can't be that harmful given that comps don't happen all the time.) Though I've always felt comps were destructive to those who don't do well. Lucid dreaming relies a lot on your confidence level and if your confidence is flattened by seeing lucid dreamers that vastly outperform you (especially those who put in a lot less work.) Heck, when I did particpate in comps, I did pretty well, but in the intermediate league, there were always one or two dreamers light years ahead of the pack, and I still felt like I was a failure.

Maybe comps are a bad idea because (as a kid this wasn't a problem for me.) But I've become the type of person who internally set the bar for myself very high. I don't have to be the best at something, but I have to be pretty damn good in order for me to be satisfied with myself. I'm sometimes tempted to say that every comp had something unfortunate that impacted my results. (In one comp, I fell ill the first week, in another, my dad had a kidney stone the day the comp started and we spent two nights in the hospital with him, and in yet another the day the comp began coincided with a family vacation that led to more disrupted sleep and little time for RCs.) And this is what tempts me to want to try just one more time.

Also who's to say that by participating in dreamviews at all I'm not putting myself into that kind of environment. After all even if I'm not entered into a comp, I'm still exposed to other dreamer's stories of success and failure, and many of them are much more skilled than I, and I've managed to not let competitiveness decay my motives. (Or perhaps I have and I'm just not able to admit that to myself yet.)

Though I want to try one more time, for the sake of having a goal set for myself. I want to participate in spell's summer comp (too late for the current one, and I don't feel like starting in the second week.) I want to get 'in shape' first, charge in and dominate the comp. That would be a good goal to set for myself. But I don't want to become the demoralizing villain that dominates the intermediate league. Perhaps a goal to set to motivate and center myself on lucid dreaming would be to participate in the summer comp, but build myself up to the point that I could be confident in my ability participate in the expert league. I wouldn't demoralize any less experienced intermediates and the simple confidence booster of being able to call myself an 'expert league participant' would be nice. I'm guessing I will not be at one lucid a night, after three months of work, but I will probably be doing pretty good, and this comp will be a nice stepping stone to my final goal, if all goes well. Of course the option to abort and reconsider is always on the table.

I just need a direction to go.

So let's start getting in shape; well after exams, of course.

(I had more I wanted to say about what went through my head during this meditation, but my mom's cat is making dough on my sweater and typing has become awkward.)

I dreamed semi lucidly that I was going for a jog. It was summertime and very warm and sunny outside and I was jogging through an area that I have never seen before IWL. There was an asphalt bike path that I followed through first a park area with a playground and a some slides. It then took me by a river with some large willow trees growing by the water and some tall pagoda-like houses across the way. The path made a left and went alongside a railroad track and an abandoned warehouse with piles of scrap metal and broken concrete in its front yard.

I view myself in third person and notice that I am in my dream avatar body. This causes me to become more lucid. I begin flying on fire jets above the path and getting a view of the area. Nowhere nearby do I recognize any landmarks. I do see an elderly man driving a large red tractor/ATV type vehicle down the path a ways ahead of me. He attempts to go around a sharp turn too fast (maybe 40 miles per hour) and crashes into a metal telephone pole. The crash looks pretty bad and wreck rolls over the man into a ditch.

At first I don't even want to look at the crash for fear of what I might see, but my continence/semi lucidity kicks in and with only vague and confused awareness that it is a dream character and that I don't really have a reason to go help. I consider calling 911 but then consider again how annoying and unreliable dream phones often are. So I turn around and land. The crash is every bit as grizzly as I expected and the elderly man's legs and lower body are completely gone and his guts are hanging out. But somehow he's still alive, and everything above his bellybutton is completely unharmed. He's in a lot of pain and screaming in pain but I can tell he's fading fast.

I talked in my previous rant about how I haven't come up with any new dream control spells and have confirmed that all of my original ones work. I figure I can still use my three pillars of dream control and just plain English. My first priority is to put him out of his pain. I raise my hand to the man laying in the heap.

"Anesthesia."

The man stops screaming and is knocked out. I then point at him with two fingers, presumably to represent the arteries that carry blood away from the heart and the veins that carry the blood back.

"Stop bleeding."

All the blood disappears and stops coming out of him. I think some other bits of his lower body that were lying around disappeared too. I spread my hands apart wide and try to imagine completing his skeleton. I closed them in together.

"Reconstruct Skeleton."

There was a bed of gravel to my right, by the side of the trail. Hundreds of small white stones came alive from the gravel and rolled together forming the rest of his spine and the bones in his upper legs. I had to repeat the command and hand motion four or five times before his skeleton was actually complete. The dream began fading out here but I was so intensely focused on my dream control that I tried to ignore it and hurry up to finish before I ran out of time.

I wondered how I would get flesh to cover the lower half of his skeleton once more and decided to pull and stretch the part of his body that was covered in flesh and imagine it growing to restore him fully. I began doing so psychically, manipulating his body to grow and stretch over the new bones. I lost the dream and woke up.

Spoiler for another really long side notes:

Motivation and Goal Setting

Motivation was always a funny thing when it came to lucid dreaming. I always found it sort of strange that people complain about being unmotivated to lucid dream, but when I think about it, it sometimes starts to make sense. Lucid dreaming is at least in some ways like most skills in where you practice and improve over time.

I’d be inclined to compare it to exercise and getting in shape, since it often seems to me like stretches of consistent practice produce the best results and stretches of inactivity result in you gradually slowing down. And like exercise people always want the results, the flat belly and toned arms, but nobody ever wants to do the work to get there. I’ve always made an effort to make the work of attaining lucidity fun but rarely had much success.

I sometimes wonder if it’s even possible to be unmotivated for something that you to some degree want to do. Somebody who plans on going to the gym but decides not to is doing so through the economic principle opportunity cost, only we’re dealing in the person’s time, rather than their money. They want to go to the gym, but they want to do something else more. Work on lucid dreaming is much the same way. I want to go to bed at 10 and have a really long and satisfying lucid dream, but I also want to stay up until midnight and play video games. And given that even if I go to bed on time and say mantras while I’m falling asleep, I only have a partial chance of actually having a lucid dream as I’ve had many experiences in where I attempt to undertake something like this only to wake up at 7:00am without a shred of dream recall to show for it.

So simple risk analysis takes over and I figure I have a 100% chance of making use of my free time and enjoying it by playing a game, or a 25% chance of enjoying it on the off chance I lucid dream. It’s pretty easy for the rug to be pulled out from underneath lucid dreamers in that regard, especially ones attempting regular nightly practice, and perhaps this is why so many people find themselves unmotivated. It’s not that they’re unmotivated to lucid dream, it’s that other things are more motivating. Though I would argue that reviewing one’s goals from time to time can be a very good way to keep focused on priorities.

Now of course say one was locked in solitary confinement without any games, or really any distractions whatsoever, most anyone who was familiar with even just the basics of lucid dreaming would probably become pretty proficient pretty quick, given they had no alternative usage of their time other than to commit their energy to perfecting their lucid dreaming technique.

Regardless, one of the things I wanted to do here was list all of the goals that I have set for myself since forever. Now this is not an exhaustive list, because some of the goals are very personal.

So obviously the goal was nightly lucidity to start with. Now I actually made this goal only about a few weeks after I became invested in LD. One funny specific about the goal that I have adhered to is that it only needs to be one lucid dream per night. When I set this goal I was relatively unfamiliar with chained lucid dreaming and the idea that you could have multiple lucid dreams in one night, and when I did learn about it, I decided to refine the goal to say that lucid dreaming every night but only once per night was my goal; with more lucid dreams being considered just “frosting on the cake.”


After that I would say my goals fairly cleanly subdivide into two categories; goals that would relate to self betterment and have a more serious tone, and things that I wanted to embark upon simply for the enjoyment of experiencing them within the dream world. Since the self-betterment goals will Segway nicely into my next topic, I will list my more superficial goals first.

I mentioned this on chat with MadMonkey a few nights ago; but I’ve always imagined wanting to go to some kind of dream-rave or music concert. I’m not a very auditory person and visuals are often what drive my dreams forward, but I’ve heard some fairly interesting dream-music in the past and would like to study it via a musical concert.

Upon hearing of the discovery of the trappist-1 system, I had the idea of flying to the system and checking out all seven of the planets for myself. I’ve flown at FTL speeds before in dreams, so this goal would be pretty easy to accomplish.

Development of dream spells is another one. When I came up with the idea, I made a short list of spell words that I wanted to try and utilize in the dream. As of today, every spell I originally created. (Semper Stabelem, Tesseractus, Feminosa, Mascusona, Cohete Bombad, Cohete Pyrosa, Ageionirus, and Vestimente, with a few others that I made up on the fly) have all been tested and the three-pronged approach to dream control. This overlaps with some other dream control oriented goals such as learning the last two elements, Air and Earth.

I once had a fantasy that upon learning some secret holy grail of lucid dreaming I would begin regularly doing the dreamviews Task of the Months. If I ever ran out of things to do I could start working backwards doing every single task of the month ever posted. Granted somebody who had attained nightly lucidity and was as lucid as I am envisioning could probably tank through the entirety of dreamviews TOTMs and TOTYs since 2004 comfortably in a year, given they completed each month’s worth of tasks in one night. TOTYs are generally multi parters. This would not be something that would be done all at once, obviously. Really I’ve always just kept such a ludicrous idea in consideration in the back of my head whenever I try and argue with myself that I would quickly become bored should I attain this level of lucidity.

Progression of narrative. In having knowledge of my dreams, they follow a narrative through the main characters. It’s not a very original or cohesive narrative, but there is one there. One I might find satisfaction in progressing and improving upon with new dream characters and storylines. Writing down a cohesive version of this narrative is one of my goals for an upcoming rant of this nature.

Shared dreaming. I always felt as though this concept could only be truly explored by somebody who had attained this level of nightly lucidity. I’m somewhat of a skeptic of shared dreaming but I remain open to the idea that it is a possibility. Regardless if I had limitless nightly lucidity at my disposal, I might find this an interesting subject matter to explore.

Though honestly that’s about it for the list. In my years of intermittent lucidity, I have taken care of most of these more superficial, wish fufillment type goals hence why I have difficulty fully fleshing out the list.

The second half of my goals are largely personal and I do not feel comfortable discussing them on this forum. Therefore these goals will be censored and kept to my private copy of this document, except for one, for the sake of example. This of course being my habit of finger biting. This is equal parts goal and hypothesis. I have had this habit since I was a toddler/baby and never really broken out of it, no matter what I tried. (I’ve even tried using that stuff that makes your fingernails taste bad, and still the habit persisted.) I envisioned that I could somehow dive into a dream and deprogram the habit subconsciously. How exactly this would manifest would vary. (I seem to recall one user suggesting that I manifest the habit as an opponent and defeat it in combat, given my propensity for dream combat.)

Regardless these are the goals that I have had more difficulty reaching; mainly because they require more focus and a higher level of lucidity than I am currently attaining on a semi-regular basis.

Semi Lucidity

Something that I noticed that I believe I pointed out in my previous rant without going into too much detail about was my instances of semi lucidity and how dreams are continually blurring the line between lucid and non-lucid and somehow it seems that I am both lucid and non-lucid at the same time. Last night’s dream provides an excellent example of this. Notice how from moment to moment my actions can be attributed to lucidity, non-lucidity and evidence unclear, impractical thinking.

I also cannot recall if I talked about feeling like I’m always subconciously lucid but not always choosing to act upon that knowledge and having the fortitude to bring that lucid into the forefront.

*checks previous rant*

Yeah, I did talk about this. In fact, I’m not really sure how to expand upon it.

Anyways, more ranblings from the back of my brain.

I am at my college campus crossed with a beach/coastal environment. Across the bay is the skyline of a large, modern city with glass skyscrapers. I am sitting at a cafe with Marcus. He explains to me that he is going to divide himself into two and put a portion of himself in a small robot orb that will follow me around. He explains how his purpose is to gather and analyze data and being able to have a portion of himself with me at all times will allow him to gather data, and in return the device can offer ways of assisting me. Of course I agree on the terms that I can disband the orb if I need privacy.

I learn that the orb is something like the ghosts from destiny, at least in functionality. I think in dream, it even works similarly to where I hold out my hand and with some expectation can summon the device into existence and communicate with it. Supposedly its data gathering functionality is only active when I summon the device. The dream begins to change gears. My old astronomy professor wants me to meet him at the top of the science building on my college campus so that I can help him to catch a rare pokemon in Pokemon Go.

I go to the top of the observatory. Upon getting to the top floor of the building I see a huge cavernous and messy room with many very flimsy wooden walkways suspended around the room, going up inside the empty telescope dome. Some are built up on rotting scaffoldings and others hang from rusty chains or old ropes from the ceiling. I begin making my way up until I eventually climb all the way up to another stable level where there is a large fountain being installed on the topmost level of the building. I manage to get up there and talk to the professor only for him to be let down by the fact that I have never played Pokemon Go. In my semi lucidity I said to him.

"Kerbal space program, I like it better than constantly getting punched in the pokeballs."

I have a false memory that upon completing one of the older gamebody pokemon games through cheating, I am taken to a secret area, a long canyon with pale white rocks strewn about and pink flowers everywhere. I have to face a number of difficult trainers that I have faced before in the game who have even stronger pokemon now, but with no healing items or breaks in-between. At the end I get to this computer terminal and get to enter my name on the leaderboards but choose not to do it because I got here through cheating.

When I finish telling the story and visualizing it, my professor tells me that he will raise my grade from a C- to a B-. He then tells me that it will be dark soon and if I want to I can go up to the observatory with him and look at the planets. This entails climbing more rickety wooden walkways. We eventually get up in the observatory that looks the same as it does IWL. There are a number of tables with small telescopes and optical instruments arrayed on them. My high school crush is there wearing nothing but an unbuttoned shirt sticking one of the telescopes up her *ahem* and really enjoying it.

I bring up the Marcus orb and ask it to analyze this entity and figure out how to remove it. He says that the threat level is very low but he knows her composition and can remove her if I can get her to come close. I signal for her to come to me and she walks over. I can see her acting like a sex zombie and I only need one look to tell she's going to start undressing me the moment she gets in reach. But a white painted plywood trapdoor opens underneath her and she falls into the room of wooden walkways and other junk below. When I look down there nobody is there, however.

...

The dream cuts to a portion in where I am floating on the ocean near the campus on a floating log. I bring up the orb again and ask it:

"How do I get to shore?"

"Yoga is the heaviest element on the periodic table."

"That's comprehensive."

I then see that the orb has gotten wet and think that it might be malfunctioning. I eventually float up to a sandbar and decide I need to head back to the college campus. I decide to attempt the teleportation command.

"Tesseractus!"

It works, I'm back on campus. But I want to get to another part of campus and there are fire ants crawling all over the sidewalk. I think to myself that I will want to wear shoes to get across this part of campus.

"Take me to a place where I can find shoes! Tesseractus!" (Being awake and fully aware now I'm not at all certain why I didn't just teleport past the area with the fire ants.) Regardless I found myself on a beach on Manei's island and she was swimming in the ocean and had left her sandals on the beach. I'm sure she really appreciated me warping in, taking her shoes, and warping away. I got back to the same area but her shoes were sandals and they were too big. I was able to with a fair amount of focus, shrink them to fit me but I couldn't convert them to another type of shoes.

I started running through the area with fire ants but they were crawling on me anyway. I got through the area to this cafe by the side of the ocean and started picking off the fire ants that were all over my legs and arms. I kept thinking I had gotten them all but would feel one more bite me somewhere, and each time I found one they were getting larger until I was finding ants the size of house mice climbing up my leg. Eventually I wound up jumping back into the ocean to get them off.

...

I was back in the college astronomy/science building. I was walking with two friends who I have never known before. One was a very short girl with black hair and freckles and the other was a tall, skinny, almost bald boy. I saw the Jack/Jonathan fusion character walking upstairs but when he saw the three of us he ran at us and grabbed the tall friend and began smearing his face on the bricks in a very gruesome fashion.

The black haired girl suggested we run and don't get involved but I said that was cowardly and we needed to get someone who would help. We ran outside and saw three people in blue military uniforms with guns and shouted help. They started coming in but when we got back in the tall friend was gone along with the blood on the wall and he was acting innocent. The military people left and the Jackathan character came after me.

I became semi lucid once more and realized I had to fight. Jackathan throws a punch and I block but there is an absurd amount of power behind his strikes and even being increasingly lucid I'm not able to take him on directly. I attempt to teleport without the voice command and visualize myself sliding behind him. It works. I appear behind him and elbow him in the back. This seemed to actually do some damage. He turns around and with some effort I'm able to teleport above him and lock my legs around his neck and twist to break his neck. He falls over and I get up, though I sense the dream is ending. I look at the fallen character and see it slowly morphs into Jack and Jonathan inside of larger clothes. The two wake up and they are embarrassed that they are naked inside of one large outfit.

I have to write my second long post on dream goals and motivation, so I might update this DJ with it or just have it come out with the next one.

Spoiler for REALLY long side notes:

Well today is lucid dreaming day, and unfortunately, due to time differences and class scheduling I will be unable to catch the live-stream, live, though I still am considering watching it in post. But I see it a very appropriate day to address the elephant in the room. My lucid dreaming career has been on hold since late February, and this was due to the horrendous failure of my previous lucid dreaming method, my meditation and chart method.

I suppose calling this a dreaming ‘Restart’ is not really an appropriate title, outside of matching up with that of my art thread, that title is somewhat inappropriate. I do not plan on simply discarding 6 years of lucid dreaming experience but rather doing what I told myself I would do on the off chance that my meditation failed; that being to step back, analyze what went wrong and come up with a new approach. Since meditation has proven itself a very poor means of self improvement in my case (though perhaps my particular techniques and lack of experience were to blame.) this is to be my means of analysis and composition of thoughts and coordination of how I shall carry on. That is to say that thisis much more for my own sake and self help than it is for any of you to read into it, though it is available to anyone who is faced with similar dilemmas might find merit in this writing. Though do expect it to get a bit dense and rambling, as I will break a lot of things down and describe in detail a lot of things that may not necessarily be particularly important.

My Previous Attempt(s)

I suppose to figure out what went wrong with my previous attempt I must break down what exactly it was that I did in my efforts to lucid dream. The self-derived technique worked on the principles of DILD and meditation. The first thing I recognize is that this technique is self-derived. Generally techniques taught on this forum are taught to a general audience and designed to work for most people. This only became self-derived as I began to take what I had learned from others on the forums and morph it into something that I thought would better suit me. Whether or not contorting a tried-and-true technique just because you think your modifications will suit your particular psyche and thought patterns will improve or lessen your results in lucid dreaming is up for debate, and probably varies.

Regardless, the technique, at least in its final incarnation set three main goals to occur every day:

Two meditation sessions, one in the morning and one in the evening. I broke this down more in my post on the meditation thread but the key detail was that each meditation had two distinct parts, a portion in where I cleared my mind and a portion in where I would either attempt to focus on maintaining a stillness of mind or focus on analyzing and finding solutions to a particular problem. Generally I focused on problems or ideas centric to waking life in the mornings and things related to lucid dreaming in the evenings, on the probably correct notion that meditation could benefit me both in waking and dreaming life.

Documentation of reality checks, with the aim of improving awareness. I would carry a small notebook and document each reality check. Generally this was done in a quantity over quality mentality, attempting a few very thorough reality checks that would help to raise my awareness and thoroughly confirm my reality rather than just clipping a clothesline pin to my nose and hoping for the best.

And the third being a rather straightforward consistent sleep schedule with it never ceasing to amaze me how much better I can recall dreams and how much easier I can become lucid when I go to bed at a reasonable hour.

These three focal points of my technique came together in a chart that documented my own work ethic along with a column for a star ranking system that would rank the results of each night on a loose scale from one to five, with one star being brief non-lucid recall, and five stars being an ideal night of a long lucid dream or a chain of shorter ones. I always found lucid dreams difficult to quantify because dreams are by their very nature an almost purely qualitative experience, so ranking in the system is generally based on my own judgement rather than a hard rubric or set of rules.

Before that there were earlier evolutions of this technique that involved a chart. At one point I attempted progressing (or regressing) as the case may be to a written dream journal having heard some say that writing your dreams by hand helps you to think more about what you’re writing. The dreams were documented along with basic information like listed above, star rankings, and a chart was kept in the back of the dream journal. But I honestly find that I can type about 80 words a minute, and my dreams often have complex scenarios or details that require explaining for the dream to make sense. The ability for text on a computer to be cut, pasted and moved around is also helpful when you don’t recall the dream linearly; you don’t have to rewrite everything.

And before that, the previous six or years were spent with my interest moving in and out of lucid dreaming, following to some extent a pattern. I was always striving to achieve a vague end goal of living a dream life, having adventures and completing some rather lofty lucid goals. With each attempt I would have some epiphany believing I had finally figured out what was holding me back, go in full force, learn a thing or two but eventually get frustrated and/or burned out and step away from it for awhile before being drawn back to it again, a little bit wiser and more mature but with the same determination and vaguely defined goals. I want to make a note of how vague my goals in lucid dreaming really are most of the time as I think this might be important to cracking the problem at hand.

What makes this unique is it seems for the first time the cycle has broken. For the first time I have no idea what direction or drive to give myself that might convince myself that my goals are attainable. (Last time, my big epiphany was that hard work and dedication were more important than a refined and complicated technique. I was frustrated with five and a half years of failure and decided I wanted a technique that was a blunt instrument of force and change rather than a sharpened and precise blade.

I feel as though it might have been the chart itself that led me to fail. The chart gave a grizzly and honest insight into how poor and scattered my efforts into lucid dreaming really were and how much shorter term cycles of waxing and waining interest had an effect, but never fulfilled its goal of motivating me to clean up my act and showing me how my effort nets positive results. The fact that on the nights that I did see lucidity or at the very least heightened recall were often not correlated with the days that I had the most success in completing my three daily goals wasn’t helping me to stay motivated.

Learning Skills

It always seemed to me like lucid dreaming was like learning any other skill. I’ve developed other skills alongside lucid dreaming. (In fact I began my Taekwondo lessons within a month of learning of the basics of lucid dreaming, and I sometimes suspect this caused the two skills to become all mixed up in my brain and resulted in my dreams involving a lot of martial arts sequences.) After all with other skills I’ve been able to, with a fair bit of self discipline, get myself to a respectable level.

In the six years since I began lucid dreaming I’ve been in Taekwondo classes, and I am now preparing to test for a black belt. Though in Taekwondo I get enjoyment out of going to almost every class, except the odd day where I’m really distracted or focused on something completely different, and the progression of belt ranks has not been my focus so much as simply becoming more disciplined and developing fitness.

More recently, upon starting the first incarnation of the chart and meditation method I began a jogging routine. I wanted to develop better cardio (and lose the baby fat that taekwondo had did a number on, but not yet managed to finish off.) And while I saw myself improve in cardio very quickly with my running routine, lucid dreaming stayed stagnant, even though it was getting daily effort and focus on my part. I began to enjoy so much going out jogging, seeing myself improve. It became a sort of self-powering positive force. You realize you are improving and then get more motivated and keep pushing yourself to work at it.

But lucid dreaming, at least in my case, has not been improving like learning a normal skill. If anything, I would say my ability to lucid dream has depreciated in the six years since I began lucid dreaming. I can recall my first lucid dream. (The one involving meeting Manei on the beach.) More clearly than I can recall any dream in recent memory. Now I realize that is basically trapping me in a negative loop in where I recognize that my ability to lucid dream is depreciating and therefore is reflected with even more muddy dreams. This might be what sets it apart; lucid dreaming’s dependence on your mental state and focus on it. I can go for a run when I’m angry or emotional and still improve; I just focus my anger into running and I still see improvement, but, at least in my case, non-positive emotions of anger and self frustration cannot be put in any useful way towards lucid dreaming.

I remember seeing a post on another forum in where they talk about Jedi and Sith meditation in the Star Wars cannon in where Jedi meditation is all about letting go and being at peace in everything you do, and Sith meditation is more about using emotions (generally anger) to motivate you toward your goals. When I’m developing an athletic skill, being focused on anger is great, much better than being peaceful. The problem of course being that in lucid dreaming, you can’t be emotional, or your dreams will reflect that emotion.

I know I’m leaving a vacuum as to what exactly motivated my lucid dreaming efforts as far as emotions go. This is important and I’ll come back to it.

Learning from the past

As I introduced this post, I am not discarding past knowledge, but rather de-programming and deconstructing my ways of thinking and attempting to troubleshoot the problems. There already seems to be a lack of motivation and proper goals set. In my other pursuits, my goals have always been clear cut. Jogging? Run a 5k in 22 mins. Taekwondo? Get a black belt. Art? Senior gallery show at my college, and start a webcomic. I don’t want to say that setting a very clear cut goal for myself will magically fix everything, seeing as none of my past “epiphanies” really seemed to do that. Now I recognize I’m about to dive headfirst into a mental minefield of schemas that will probably destroy my ability to lucid dream in the near future, but I feel that doing so is necessary in the long run for fixing the problems that lay ahead.

I will call these epiphanies since they seemed like such things at the time, they seemed like such massive revelations that would quickly resolve everything and tie up all loose ends, allowing me to attain the level of lucid dreaming that I had always wanted.

In learning to lucid dream I’ve programmed myself to think that certain things will greatly effect my odds of lucid dreaming; in where they probably will since I think that. I begin to think that having or not having one particular technique or thought process is a make-or break for lucid dreaming, and that not having it will mean I’m screwed. Really, what I just wanted to do was break down my previous epiphanies and see what merits or faults I think they hold with my present state of mind. I’ve already broken down that most recent epiphany that “There is no secret technique, only hard work and dedication.” and why it ran into problems.

Henceforth I present my previous epiphanies and realizations in roughly reverse chronological order.

-“It’s all in your head”

I recall coming up with and subscribing to the notion that lucid dreaming was something that was all in my head, and that to be good at it, all I simply had to do was believe that I was good at it and choose to do it, since there was no skill curve, and it really was just all in my head. Though this didn’t seem to work and was actually built upon by my hard work philosophy believing that with concentrated and regimented applied effort I could attain regular lucidity.

Continuing on this, my though process was very centric on the idea that lucidity is not a goal but more like a choice. I began feeling this way because at the time, I was having a lot of semi-lucid dreams and beginning to develop an underlying feeling that I was constantly lucid, but simply not choosing to bring that lucidity to the front of my mind. I still feel like this logic is present in my dreams; that I always have the potential to become lucid yet sometimes lack the mental fortitude to think clearly enough to bring that lucidity to the forefront, and that I need some kind of enhanced willpower and awareness to actually beak through from subconscious lucidity into true lucidity. The feeling and situation I am in when these dreams arise is somewhat difficult to describe, but I could somewhat equate it to sitting in a really long boring high school math class and daydreaming. You’re not really mindful of your reality and probably not really mindful about what you’re daydreaming about. You’re just daydreaming and allowing said daydream to go wherever seems most interesting.

I remember being in this state of mind often equating lucid dreaming to breathing rather than a learned skill like I would later on. I thought to myself that breathing is something people do all the time, but most of us don’t really keep ourselves aware of it; just like dreaming. But you can very easily become aware of your breathing to where it becomes a conscious action (You, reading this, probably just became aware of your breathing.) But you can’t be mindful of breathing all the time, it takes your focus away from tasks at hand, and to focus on another task as well as being mindful of your breathing takes a lot of focus. That perhaps best describes how I felt I was grasping at lucidity.

-Creativity and Happiness vs Logic and Reasoning

This epiphany is unique in that it was the only one that actually came to me within a dream, in where a dream character told me to focus on creativity and happiness rather than approaching dreaming logically.

I came up with several interpretations of how to apply this notion. One was to begin drawing dream related artwork. Another was to write “fake dream journal entries” as an applied visualization exercise and to be utilized for motivation. Another was just simply to remain optimistic in the face of adversities like garbage dream recall and muddy or nonexistent lucidity. Needless to say none of these philosophies or techniques helped as much as one might have expected.

Obviously this notion was reconsidered by the time I got to my chart and meditation method, a decidedly logic and quantitative focused way of focusing on lucid dreaming.

-Something in the dream is holding me back

Generally when there is some kind of problem or issue people like to have a scapegoat. Someone or something they can peg the problem on. In this case I began thinking that there was some barrier or entity within the dream world that was holding me back.

This first manifested itself as a complex series of dream plots involving my dream guide requiring me to complete some trial in where upon completion a “weighted belt” that had been steadily mounting would be removed and I would be able to lucid dream to my full potential. Of course once this extremely contrived dream plot concluded and the weighted belt was supposedly removed, I saw no long-term effect to my ability to lucid dream.

Later I would engage in a second dream plot in where some entity had to be defeated in order for me to be able to lucid dream at my full potential, but that had a similar result; no long term effect on my ability to lucid dream.

-Engagement and active thinking is the key

I once built my lucid dreaming routines and goals around the idea that being actively aware and trying new things would hold the key to attaining regular lucidity. This was one of the times that I was arguably way more active and social on the forums, and most active in learning about lucid dreaming in general.

I subscribed to the notion that dreams generally reflect what you are actively thinking about at the time, getting the idea that when you are learning or interested in some new knowledge you tend to dream about it. I remember when I was first becoming invested in things like a new TV series or video game and finding it overtaking my dreams. Yet older media that I am already familiar with tends not to make many appearances in lucid dreaming. Given that, if I could continue to steadily engage myself with new lucid dreaming concepts and keep fresh material flowing, I could continually lucid dream.

-WBTB/WeeBTB is the key

There was a time that I was very successful at lucid dreaming and closer to my goal than I had ever been before. This was when I became heavily invested in using the WBTB and WeeBTB techniques. People talk a lot about WBTB and DEILD being great, and they are, but the were not what I was looking for to achieve nightly lucidity, simply because it’s very easy for me to get burned out on these techniques. One can only wake themselves up at 4:00am on so many mornings before they become burnt out or their sleep schedule begins to alter so that a 4:00am awakening results in you being awake and staying that way.

-The Symbol

Remember this? This was my attempt to cheat at lucid dreaming. This project was a titanic failure. The premise of this was simple. To engrain this symbol into my mind as a trigger for lucidity and a reminder to reality check by placing it around in the waking world. This meshed nicely with at the time I was living in the dormitories at college and needed a means to mark what was my property.

Though disappointingly the symbol only appeared in my dream once after about three months of the project, and that was only because in the dream I was semi-lucidly making an effort to explain the nature of the project to my dream guide.

-MILD is the key

The first time I cycled out of lucid dreaming, I came back in with a renewed interest in MILD, thinking that autosuggestion would help. Like my symbol method, this meshed nicely with something new that had been introduced into my lifestyle at the time; Driving. Driving afforded me long stretches of time in where I was alone in the car, and these were perfect for reciting mantras as nobody else was around to judge me repeating “I am a good lucid dreamer; lucid dreaming is easy.” a dozen times, and the time was hardly useful for any other pursuit.

-+-

So by stepping back and observing this what do I recognize? The first thing is that there is a cycle of waxing and waning interest in lucid dreaming that is something I do not experience with my other interests and hobbies.

I am very reluctant to jump to conclusions as that may just mean another cycle of attempting something only to find my results and motivation diminished and slide into another low point, but I am tempted to say that regulating my motivation and applied effort to attempt to stretch from cycles of high and low activity to a continuous ongoing regimen of moderate activity might be a potential solution, though the option is on the table?

The second thing that I recognize is that these repeated attempts all entail increasingly complex and muddied philosophies, and means to achieve them. This would correlate nicely with the increasingly muddy lucidity, and blurry line between lucid and non-lucid dreams that has developed over time.

And the third thing that I recognize is that I am closed - mindedly regarding all of these as failures. Though I still tend to carry over and consider strong suits from previous attempts at lucid dreaming and attempt to bring them into a new light. Whether this means I am learning from my past mistakes or just repeating them over and over with minor variation is difficult to say. Sometimes I mourn the fact that for so long I have struggled with this goal of achieving nightly lucidity, and feel as though if I were to be able to start over today, knowing everything I know now that I would easily succeed, given how much effort I am applying, and I’m tempted to blame my past failures as building a very powerful and engrained negative schema around myself in all directions.

In essence what I feel I am doing is giving up and quarantining techniques because of a failure. Once I’ve seen that a technique can fail, it’s all that I focus on, and therefore the technique becomes useless, and slowly but surely I’m losing confidence in every conceivable lucid dreaming technique, and constantly raising the bar for myself in terms of the amount of effort I feel as though i need to put in in order to be successful without actually increasing in skill or drawing any closer to my original goal.

So what is the goal and why?

So I think thus far I’ve done a pretty good job of outlining the issues that I’ve had over the past six years with attaining nightly lucidity. It’s not the most through direction and there are places I could go into more detail if I had the patience.

And as far as goals go, it’s a pretty vague one, since a lucid dream, as I’ve stated is difficult to define and the line has become a bit grayed with time. Early in my lucid dreaming career, I found it very easy to determine if I was lucid or non-lucid. But that line has slowly become very blurred. Many of my non-lucid dreams feel vaguely lucid and many of my more lucid dreams are muddied with non-lucidity.

For the sake of argument let’s say that nightly lucidity entails a more clear lucid dream. But that goal is kind of empty. It’s like saying that you want to be fit enough to run a mile every day, and not have to be in recovery so long as to you can run that same mile at the same pace the next day.

I’ve always stated that I would focus on attaining nightly lucidity before I began seriously turning to a list of lucid dreaming goals that has frankly become a bit monstrous over the years, for I did not want to dedicate an extended stretch of time to getting myself to a very high level of lucid dreaming only to run out of things to do a few weeks after attaining nightly lucidity, but my goals have become lofty and also muddied and that is why I find it very important for me to “restart” and set all of these goals aside. Obviously I’m going to take the time to outline and list them here at some point so as to not forget them, but I have to recognize that as of right now I am not actively attempting to attain any of them.

Moreover attaining nightly lucidity or at the very least coming close to it would offer me a much more scientific means to explore the intricacies of the impacts of techniques. I had planned to do this once I had achieved a stable schedule with my chart and meditation method, that after perhaps about a month of preforming the routine regularly I could scientifically introduce variations (over a two week time period) and possibly refine the routine overtime, with the problem being that the base routine netted detrimental results.

Once again, on the vague and muddy nature of things, I maintain a self awareness of how long and rambling this post is. This speaks as a testament to how complex and difficult I view this problem (if you could even describe it as a problem.) as. If I could describe things more simply, then I would. Simple problems need simple solutions, but as a problem grows increasingly complex, as this one has, and there is no clear or definite answer in sight.

In the next few posts, I would like to break down my goals and motivations, as they are something that I do not have the time or patience to cover right now. Goals are key to understanding why nightly lucidity is so desirable and motivation is a talking point that I would also like to cover since, not to add to this already messy and complex parable that I have laid out, but I believe it is pertinent.

You know it's bad when you can't do much more than array your problems and discuss what happened.

Random dreams from the past couple of weeks.

I was in the show Naruto (An anime I have not watched and hold very little interest in watching.) Now I've seen somewhere IWL that there are two Narutos that exist at the same time, an old one and a young one, and both of them were attending school, albeit at different grade levels. The focus was on the young one who constantly got bullied by the other students because his hair was yellow and apparently that was an unlucky color. He was standing under a large oak tree outside of a building that looked like a small elementary school, maybe only big enough for three or four classrooms on the inside, with the other kids around him.

I went over to one of the students who was causing the bullying, who happened to have black hair. I tried to talk him out of it, asking him how he would like it if he was the only student who had black hair and everyone picked on him for it. He then started crying because I made him feel guilty, and hitting my leg and I told him to stop or I would tell the principal. At this point I became aware that I was supposed to be the teacher and was responsible for all of these kids.

Of course as soon as the anxiety about my responsibility kicked in the dream went haywire. One of the kids got stung by a bee and started crying, and I had to administer her epi-pen but she was kicking me because she didn't want the shot. Another kid stole cookies out of several kids lunches and got a sick stomach, and started crying. Once the other kids realized their deserts were gone, they all started crying as well. The kids reduced in age and kept finding more and more reasons to cry, and before I knew it I was surrounded by ~20 waling babies.

I became lucid as the anxiety was about to climax and realized that this wasn't my responsibility, or anybody and acknowledged that it was just a dream about an anxiety. I started to walk away as the dream faded out, not wanting to be bothered to acknowledge each of the children's individual needs. I thought the crying children would vanish as I walked away and recognized my anxiety but they didn't. The older Naruto jumped in front of my path and confronted me for leaving them behind.

-+-

I was with Marcus. I think we were at his house and he was playing Spore and I was watching. He had heavily modded the game to be better in many ways, explaining some of the dreamlike and nonexistent features of the game that I did not recall from playing the game back in high school. He started a new game as a cell, but didn't name the planet he was on the right thing, so he had to start over on another planet.

When he did, I noticed the planet was around a binary star system. (Starting a game around a binary star is not something you can do in regular Spore, I recall that much.) Most of the mods he had created revolved around making the game cooler, more realistic and more in depth that the original.

He showed me the creature stage where he was playing as this six legged monster. He was talking about how plants around different stars would need to be different colors to absorb the different wavelengths of light, and that planets around red dwarfs would have plants with black leaves because they could catch all available light. He then showed adding in this fern-like plant with black leaves.

He then cheated his game to space stage where he had made the most mods. He showed me how the home solar system he was in now had asteroids and comets that you could visit and set up small bases to mine and research, planets could become tidally locked, and could have multiple moons. You could 'colonize' gas giants and harvest resources there.

He started flying through space and went to a solar system around a small red star and colonized it, then zoomed out and showed me the galaxy. He showed me how there were some endgame items you could now unlock for your ship that allowed you to create custom stars and planets.

-+-

I was playing airsoft with Jack but somebody on the other team was using a gun with real bullets and shot him in the head. Somehow even though there was a big bloody hole in his forehead he got back up like it was only a minor injury.

-+-

I got a text from Manei and became semi lucid. She said that she saw a stray cat get hit by a car and that she needed my help to take care of her kittens until they could get into proper foster care. I drove over to her house which in the dream was in the same neighborhood as my friend A's house, and very close to it, but was only one story. In the hazy semi lucid dream logic I remember wondering to myself why I didn't visit Manei more often even though I always wanted to have more lucid dreams.

I don't recall the remainder of the dream's plot because outside of her showing me how to bottle-feed kittens nothing else really happened.

-+-

A very lengthy dream about me accidentally hitting a guy's car and making a dent it, and the other guy drove away.

-+-

A long dream about installing a Kerbal space program mod that added a planet in orbit around the homeworld with an atmosphere.

-+-

This was the dream from two nights ago that motivated me to get back into this.

I had a dream that started of somewhat similarly to my very first lucid dream. I dropped from several stories up and landed on a beach, already reasonably lucid. Some false memory details about the dream came back to me in where Manei and I were going to the beach, and we had swimsuits, towels, a beach umbrella and the likes. Marcus was there too wearing a Hawaiian shirt and he brought a folding table and chairs.

The beach was different though, it seemed completely original to the dream and didn't resemble any beach I've ever been on in waking life. I felt disoriented and looked only to find a small parking lot with some cars in it and notice that there were a few dream characters scattered about, though the beach was by no means crowded. I studied the dreamworld briefly reflecting upon how much I liked the fact that the dream had constructed an original environment rather than re-using my house or my college for the bazilyionth time.

Manei turned to me and said in the voice of one of my old friends from grade school. "Aww man, I wanted to go skinny dipping, but there's a fat guy in the water." (she gestures to a man standing waist deep in the water who looked a lot like my maternal grandfather but fatter.)

I said back to her, fully lucid "Skinny dipping isn't about your weight. It means you go swimming naked."

The dream went into some scenes that I cannot recall particularly well of surfing on the water and using my fire jets to propel myself. I recall later on Marcus set up the card table to where it was so close to the shore that in sitting on the chairs around the table the waves would wash over our feet. The three of us began discussing why my lucid dreaming effort has dropped off since my meditation stopped. When I brought up the meditation,

Marcus replied "Meditation has created 1,011 faulty dreams. Deficiency of applied effort 403 times pi percent."

I entered into a virtual reality simulation where everything was neon green cubes and black, and things looked like the movie Tron, but I don't recall much else of what happened.

I know this is a really long entry. Truth be told I've been coming on here for like a week and a half and writing down whatever I remember into this giant draft entry; and I wanted to post it before writing all my dreams down in a single giant draft entry became a habit. Enjoy.

I am taking a journey to Marcus' home star system. We are supposed to be on board some kind of spacecraft but when the visualization of the journey is given, I am simply flying through galaxies like I would when I was flying via my powers, though I can still sense Marcus' presence. We fly into a small star cluster outside of the milky way and head towards a star system.

The peripheral of the spacecraft becomes present and Marcus explains to me that this was the star system in where he was created. He goes on to explain that his is a race of cyborg beings, and tells me their history. In his history, humanity fell into an atomic war and nearly destroyed itself, and the only ones that were left were those who did not think humanity should develop as a warlike culture, but rather a culture of science and art.

As such his forefathers set out and colonized the solar system, made alien contact. The aliens they met were very different from humans in that they were very powerful, intelligent beings that lived for billions of years, but only a few dozen of them could exist in the universe at any one time. (When they were visualized, the aliens were a massive black being with six or eight eyes, as large as the earth, sitting on a decorative throne that acted as a spaceship.) The aliens recognized that the savagery in humanity was beginning to fade and that they may be ready for the gift of interstellar travel.

As such humanity colonized the galaxy and made contact with other alien races. But the mentality of the survivors of the nuclear war on earth was inbred into their culture, the desire to self-preserve and to have a safehouse, but on a galactic scale. Hence the colonization of the Bastion-Remedy system.

Spoiler for crappy sketch:

The system was chosen because there were a lot of resources and the system contained smaller, longer lived stars than the sun. I sketched a crappy map to help expedite the details of the system but its not super important to the overall plot of the dream, just interesting that I was able to remember such a detailed system. I don't recall any of the names of the planets but I do know that every planet marked in green was terraformed. The only location of importance was the space station Gigatet.

Marcus described it as a fortress system because of its extreme defenses, and remarked that a dyson sphere was too expensive and too vulnerable, but the entire system was protected from cosmic rays and unwelcome by the Gigatet projecting a shield. That was our destination. There was supposedly another larger structure nearby called the "Archive" that was the true archive of all the science and art that this civilization had gathered through the eons but the Archive's true location was known only to their most trusted members. However the Gigatet served as a sort of halfway point for information to be screened and collected before being prepared to be taken to the archive.

He shows me a room in where his body can be upgraded and repaired. His civilization has eliminated death of the body. He begins to remove his skin, first on his right hand to insert a circular mechanical access key to the room. Then lays down on a medical table and loses conciseness. Robotic arms spring to live and begin disassembling his body very carefully. Past the skin layer, Marcus had a shiny metal skeleton. His muscles and organs were blue and they didn't look fully organic or fully synthetic either. His muscles looked sort of like fiber optic cables, and the internal organs were more like squishy plastic. In places there were little valves and clips that linked blood vessels and nerves allowing for modularity. Close a valve, remove that part, and put a new one in.

He then proceeds to 'recompile extraneous data for download', essentially empty his brain's memory banks of information that he did not need. This data would be reviewed and either dumped or stored in the archive. I saw his brain inside of his skull and it looked like a blue glowing orb, like a blue sun with little solar flares on it.

Marcus then talked with me about how people in this society have a choice to be human, machine, or something in-between, but each choice has its own pros and cons. One can make a fully robotic body that is more or less immortal, indestructible, and makes you highly productive to the society. Or one can be a completely normal human with only one implant; a device to move your soul/consciousness in and out of your body. Marcus lays somewhere in the middle of that his body is between mechanical and biological, and his body can still die, though that is very unlikely and he can go for many human lifespans without returning here to be repaired, but that he likes to play it safe and routinely have his systems checked up on just to ensure nothing sneaks up on him.

He explains to me that his body still acquires energy from food rather than the power sources used by other more mechanical variants.

But because they have the technology to transfer your conciseness, everyone in this society is basically immortal unless they are killed by violence or a sudden and swift failure of their body, with inadequate time to transfer their soul into a new body.

...

At some point we are on the exterior of the Gigatet. This area of the station is like a city and has an atmosphere held in place by gravity projectors and magnetic fields. We encounter this group of two or three boba-fett looking characters. (in that their armor was similar.) They hit Marcus with some kind of paralyzer device that seizes up his more mechanical body, but when they try to use the same device on me I feel nothing more than a buzz like a mild electric shock.

I became lucid and started fighting them. At some point I tried to fly into the air but my flying was not working because I was wearing a heavy cloak or cape and could not seem to take it off, and the cape was stifling my flying jets and weighing me down. I tried to think of another way to solve the conflict and thought that the dream was taking on a star wars theme so maybe if I played along my dream control would work. I reached into hyperspace and got a pair of lightsabers.

This was really thrilling to me. I blocked some laser fire and some of the assalants retreated until one was left. She and I jumped into the air (her using a jet pack on her armor and we fought.) But at some point, with a fair amount of effort I was able to get my leg above her head and kick her down into the ground. I then released Marcus by removing the paralyzing device. Some police drones came and Marcus explained the situation and they arrested the one I had fought last.

For some reason the dream got really dark and I spent a lot of time carrying her over my shoulder. Eventually the police came to us and there was closure to the plot line. The plot line somehow carried on to a point where I was having my birthday in an old warehouse. My birthday party was pretty big, all of my friends were there. There were aged up versions of friends that I had not seen in years, and some people that I only vaguely recognized.

Amit from Infected Mushroom and Samurai Jack came out onto a platform and started playing rave music, Everyone started dancing. I saw my old high school crush standing on a table topless chugging a keg of beer. This guy with a handlebar mustache and a white suit coat came up to me and said that I had won a motorboat and a trailer came in with a big red and brown motorboat on it. He gave me some paperwork and told me that I had to sign it to get the boat. He then said I could also win fifty bucks if I could manage to roll two dice and get snake eyes.

I somehow found myself at the base of the basement stairs in my house attempting to roll the dice, but it was too dark to see what my results were. I was worried I was going to lose my first prize.

-+-

I had a dream I was at the beach resort in Puerto Rico. My mom told me I was in an alternate universe created by my imagination. I recalled something I told her a few weeks ago IWL as a joke. I said that if I had been born as triplets, one triplet would be an artist, another would be obsessed with Taekwondo, and the third would be an expert programmer. I then saw the three younger triplets of myself walking around in these yellow and black scuba suits.

I remember seeing a big row of palm trees on a sandbar out at sea and thinking that that was not there last time I went to the resort.

-+-

I was teaching my taekwondo class and the class was abnormally crowded. There were lots of kids. Most of them were kids that are in my class now or have graduated. The class was taking place in this warehouse with brown brick walls and high windows and it was kind of dark in the room.

I became lucid and decided I wanted to summon Manei. I forgot to try the voice command and just tried to summon through intention, by focusing on the door and imagining her coming through. I was thinking about how it was a dream and it was just my imagination so I should be able to make anything happen. Instead, my characters Raiah and Alduir walked in.

The kids got older and the room was even more cramped. They said they wanted to play dodgeball and everyone started pulling out red rubber balls and throwing them at one another. Raiah said she didn't like dodgeball unless she got to play her way and started throwing with her robotic arm but she threw the ball so hard she knocked a kids tooth out and we had to stop.

...

The dream carried on at some point. I was at like a carnival peir with the two of them. I was getting a strange enjoyment out of conversing with two of my original characters. I remember asking them for advice on how to make them better characters that more people would like. Alduir replied

"The pretentious pillbug's snakeskin handbag --FUCK! I FORGOT THE REST!! Thats a poem I wrote for you? Do you like it?"

-+-

Coming off another dream that I don't remember, the dream was playing out the scene from the ending of Star Wars Episode I; The Phantom Menace, where Obi Wan and his master fight Darth Maul, and I was Obi Wan. I got kicked down the reactor shaft and grabbed onto the ledge. I remember thinking that I knew what happened in this scene, that I jumped back up and grabbed my lightsaber.

When Darth Maul looked over the edge I saw that he was now shirtless with a gigantic fat stomach. (Though his upper torso and arms still looked really muscular, and of course all of it was tattooed black and red.) He also had two arms on his left hand side and was holding three lightsabers. The first one was a standard lightsaber. The second one had an unusual handle and the blade went backwards down the arm like a tonfa. The third one was his double bladed lightsaber. He started slashing at the edge of the pit and taunting me. He said that if I didn't jump up, he'd use his triple bladed lightsaber. I wondered how such a thing would work. He then showed me that when he pulled apart his double bladed lightsaber there was a third blade in the middle between the two handles and he could now prod at me while I was holding on, but I avoided him.

Darth Maul then grabbed a woman I had never seen before. She had long wavy blonde hair and was completely naked but had gag tied around her and told me to try and come up and save her. I wondered how the Star Wars movie would keep a PG rating with a fully naked woman in it and I realized that the situation was different from the movie and became lucid. I flew up and summoned a green lightsaber and beat Darth Maul, and the dream faded out.

-+-

I had a really long dream that was stylized. It looked like the animation style of Samurai Jack. In the dream, Manei was a small child wandering around a meadow. In the meadow were the hulks of gigantic derelict space warships. One of them was overgrown with grape vines and Manei was trying to get the grapes down from the top but as long as she couldn't get them, she had to sleep in a cardboard box.

My character entered along with two other characters and I showed her how she could get the grapes down by using a long stick with a hook on the end of it. I then got mad that someone had 'ripped off my dreams in an animation' and after some figuring became semi lucid. I made an effort to converse with her to no avail.

-+-

At some point I recall a very funny exchange in where I was dreaming that I was taking a science exam in high school and became semi lucid. I looked over to my crush.

"Will you have sex with me?"

"No."

for some reason I completely lost my sh*t and began using telekinesis to crumble the building around me. My crush disappeared and the other dream characters in the class began running away in fear and panic.

I woke up a short while later and pondered my behavior. It seems as though, even in dreams we are more in touch with a more primal, animalistic and emotional side of ourselves that awakens these desires.

-+-

I was visiting Florida with my cousins and my old friends R and J. We were at a beach. I decided to go for a swim but when I got there I found my cousin had somehow beat me there and was crying because I wouldn't play a game with him. I tried to comfort him and told him that I would play with him. But my friend J also wanted to play with me and the two started fighting. I tried to get everyone to agree to just do one thing and all three of us could do it together but it didn't work. I saw J's dad coming over and wanting to work out the conflict but I didn't want to be involved so I dove underwater and swam away.

When I came back up I was lost. At first I was worried about not being able to find my family members or my friends family members and became very worried of what they would think that I ran away and didn't come back.

-+-

I remember having a very long, 'realistic' and detailed dream about a zombie apocalypse. My mother and I were staying on a farm with Jack (the dream character) and his two brothers and father. Jack was showing us how to use guns to kill the zombies and gave me a long rifle with a scope.

The dream ended when I started waking up and WBTBed wanting to re-enter and continue the story but instead got a dream about my cousin having an allergy attack and needing to be administered an Epi-Pen.

-+-

I had an absolutely absurd dream about being at some kind of hybrid of a water park and marina. The setting is that in where there are boats parked everywhere, attended almost exclusively by bikini-clad party girls. Large waterslides and roller coasters arc over small islands and rock formations that are above the water.

In the dream, I have recently acquired my first job delivering tacos to the partiers via Jet Ski. I remember thinking that the job should net me decent pay and tips but didn't seem to be doing so, and I was still learning to properly control the Jet Ski. I also considered that I needed a better means to transport the tacos than holding them on a large tray in one hand while piloting the jetski with the other.

At one point I was tasked with navigating the jetski between two tight rock formations, only to attract the attention of a very large centipede-like poodle. From far away it looked like the dog had been fake but getting closer made it look animated and lifelike. Though its body looked sort of like it were made of papier-mâché and cotton balls, like an arts and crafts project.

It began chasing after me, barking and growling. The dog was able to navigate through the air with a swimming serpentine motion. I attempted to lose it but it was too fast, and I was still navigating that narrow pass. I attempted to splash water in its eyes and some of the women on the nearby boat scoffed at me for mistreating the animal. It was at this point that I also recognized that I had gotten the tacos wet and that they were no longer going to pay me for them. Though upon inspection, it seemed as thought he Jetski had made it through the narrow pass without sustaining any damage.

I ran into my aunt, uncle and cousins and lost the dream.

-+-

I was stranded in the ocean at night after a plane crash sequence that I only recall secondhand. With it came the old drowning feeling that usually accompanies any dream involving swimming, as big waves came crashing down on me.

I then saw my character Raiah appear in the dream. She was struggling to stay afloat aswell. The sequence played out similarly to one from my comic with her character in where, since she has metal legs and a metal arm she cannot float or swim and had to detcach them to stay afloat.

Then Manei came and reduced both of us and helped us both swim to the shore of an island. We woke up on the beach and the situation reminded me quite a bit of the movie Castaway, except there were three of us now. We started planning how we were going to survive until help came and the dream faded out.

...

The next thing I remember was all three of us were in a city somewhere in Italy. Raiah had her bionic limbs back and the three of us were sitting at a cafe. Raiah was complaining that Italian food in Italy doesn't taste like Italian food in America.

People began approaching us. They had grayish green skin and vampire teeth. The dream had some confusion as to wether they were actually vampires or zombies. They moved slowly in a big group like zombies but had teeth like vampires and were out to drink blood. I became semi lucid and began helping to fight them. I summoned my weapon and turned it into a staff and knocked some of the closest ones away.

I then converted it into a bow and stood on a table and started shooting arrows. I was able to create a wide variety of elemental trick arrows by simply calling them out as I drew the bow. When I called out "Fire arrow" a group of zombies got set on fire. I called out "Ice Arrow" and it froze one solid in a block of ice. I called out "Lightning arrow" and the bow shot a bolt of electricity that chained from several of the zombies taking them all out. I called out a "Plant Arrow" and when it hit the vamp/zombie vines sprung up from under the brick pavement and entangled around it preventing it from moving.

I started running out of ideas for arrows after awhile. (I was operating on weird logic that I could only use each type of arrow once.) and in my semi lucidity got concerned about my mother. I false remembered that she was in a house on the other side of the town and took off running. I don't think I was able to fly because I wasn't fully lucid but I was able to run at a speed I would place around 30-50mph. I started running through the streets and saw more of the vamp zombies coming after me. I converted back to a staff and did a pole vault over them.

I remember the sequence of me running through the city streets seemed to go on for hours. I recall thinking to myself that my dream body seems to have unlimited cardio endurance because it's not a real body and all I have to do is imagine running full sprint and preforming flips, and I can do that all night.

At some point I go third person and I'm running along rooftops parqouring and doing gymnastic flips that no real human could do. I eventually climb in the second story window of the building that my mom is in only to find she is a vamp/zombie. I convert my staff back to a bow Agian and declare that I will fire a "Holy Arrow". It works and she converts back to a normal person. I tell her to barricade the door and windows and wait for me to come back.

I then spot a structure in the distance. The structure is a massive mining rig built on top of a volcano. I get a sense that Manei and Raiah have made their way there but that they are in trouble. I then see a robotic policeman attempting to barricade the vamp zombies. I fly to the volcano rig that has a giant staircase running up the side. I decide that I will land there. But before I can blast off at full speed Manei yells my name. She is still running towards me and is all out of breath.

"This is ridiculous- you start jogging a little waking life and now I cannot ever pace you."

"You saved me from the first dream, call it even."

I become almost fully lucid. I forget about my other objective. The city starts to look like the city from Attack on Titan. I then see a two-headed Naruto going to fight Titans, but we ignore it and just sit at a cafe again. We start having a conversation. I realize that I should include Marcus in the conversation and just by thinking of him he materializes out of a blue portal in the ground.

[Removed The conversation was personal. It ended with Marcus saying this.]

"The Progress of humanity is advancing at an unforeseen pace. From the wheel to the spinning wheel to the printing machine and the mushroom bomb, figure-8-DNA and the three-two-two hyperdrive, our species spreads with a like a tenacious disease traversing the cosmos. [The dream fades out as I see a visualization of the milky way galaxy.] One day all of this will be ours but we must ask ourselves if that is a good thing or not." [The dream then zooms in on a solar system at the tip of one of the spiral arms. It is a binary system and there is a dark black planet orbiting far from the two stars. Marcus somehow implies that we will find something really bad there and when people try to colonize that system we will awaken some ancient evil or something.]

I am going around in a large city built by the side of a bending river interviewing at various locations for jobs. The first place I go to interview at is a very large skyscraper, upwards of a hundred stories tall. The building is very interesting in that the original shape of the building was a sort of cone that got gradually steeper as it went up. But apparently after the building was built a new company bought it and built a frame around it in the shape of a hexagon. So there was like an outer tower and an inner tower when you went inside and the two were connected by interior catwalks and the lobby of the tower ran all the way up the inner wall to the hundredth floor.

I go to the interview and it seems like this company would like to hire me, but I'm not entirely sure I want to be hired by this company. Simply by observing the social interactions I can tell that this company has some problems with income distribution and that at this company the CEO and higher workers get paid a lot while the people on the bottom who are actually doing most of the work are getting paid peanuts. I don't think the company is deserving of my skills but want to think things over. I decide to explore another job opportunity.

In the industrial sector of the city is a woman who owns an abandoned warehouse and some of the surrounding area. I meet with her and begin talking about her business. What her business does is not entirely clear, but it seems to be a cross of a design and sculpture firm and a recycling and scrapping business. She has a friend who works in a scrapyard and breaks down automobiles and other scrap into usable materials, as well as another friend. (A gigantic cyborg rat) who takes apart computers and electronics, and remakes some of the components into art projects, while selling some valuable things like gold.

I have a sort of informal interview with her, telling her that I will return with a resume and such at a later time but just want to get a grasp on what her company exactly does. She avoids the question and instead brings me hot chocolate. "I'd love to work here, and she seems to really want to win me over, but I doubt she can afford to pay me well, if at all." Our interview is interrupted by an official looking person from the city coming in and saying that the business defaulted on a loan and will be closed down in a week if they cant make up the money.

I very vaguely remember the woman embarking on a new conceptual art project. Her cousin is Benedict Cumberbatch and she wants him to pose naked in a public place with a picture of Lapis Lazuli from Steven Universe over his crotch. But she wants me to draw the picture that will be used, if I can, she will hire me and her business will get back on its feet so she can pay me.

We are testing the piece in a vacant office. I draw several pictures in different styles and mediums until I get one that the woman seems to think will work. The last thing I remember was we were playing Fallout 4 and talking about the game.

-+-

I was with my dad in the front of my house. It was a clear summer day in the late afternoon. I looked up in the sky and saw that the moon had rings like Saturn. I recognized the dream sign and became lucid. I thought about how my dream dad usually doesn't like it when I get lucid so I decided to try and educate him about lucid dreaming.

"Hey, do you notice anything different about the moon?"

"No, the moon has always been like that, ever since the [vauge astronomical event] changed the solar system."

"No, the moon has never been like that." (More planets began to emerge from behind the moon, and the ringed moon begins to get larger.) "Because this is a dream; my dream. Everything I say and do is a product of my mind, even you."

He goes on to say that he doesn't believe me and insists that this is real.

"Look, anything is possible. In a dream you can go anywhere, and do anything. You see that planet up there? If I want to, I can fly to that planet." (Gesturing to one of the small planets that had emerged from behind the saturn planet.)

"You can do that in No Man's Sky."

"Shut up."

I decide to just leave him and show myself. I leap off expecting to fly there, but I begin to float back down and land on the roof of my house. I leap off again and try to engage my fire jets. I look over my shoulder and see them blowing out clouds of smoke and sparks. (I think they were even making sounds like a gasoline engine that wouldn't start.)

"You can't do it, see?" He yells.

"You're not in control of what I can and cannot do." I turn and focus on my destination. My fire jets properly activate with a loud crack and I shoot off out of the atmosphere and into space. The ringed moon is becoming a gas planet. As I got closer I tried to focus on the color. I wanted to see if I could control its color and make it be green, as there were no green gas planets in the solar system and wanted to see what my mind's interpretation of a green gas giant would be like. It turned into a green planet with some bluish bands and storms, and I thought "Close enough" without realizing that I was heading right at it. I tried to pull 'up' and fly over the planet's pole. I ended up glancing through the upper atmosphere for but a second flying through storms of swirling turquoise clouds before emerging on the other side and coming to a stop.

I looked around at the moon system of the gas planet. It had five major moons. I didn't take the time to look at all of them in detail; my eyes went straight to an earthlike moon (I think it was in the third or fourth orbit out) and flew straight at it. I was trying to focus on having spaceflight be steadier and not rocket me towards destinations so fast, but of course focusing on the negative schema only caused me to rocket forward once more, giving me only a second to slow down as I fell through the clouds and collide with the ocean of the planet.

After my crash I lost a great deal of lucidity and became semi lucid and stopped paying as much attention to the dream's plot. Somebody on the planet had found me and brought me to the planet's leader. The planet was populated by small, pale skinned, dwarf-like humans and their king/leader gave me a dinner of fried fish and potato planks, then sent me on a quest.

Marcus was there and he told me we needed a mode of transportation for the quest. He took me to a train yard and started pressing buttons on these steam engines and mechanical faces came out of the front of the boilers making them look like Thomas the tank engine characters. He got a silver steam engine and started driving it through these security gates while I held out a lance on the front of the train to break through them. The silver steam engine turned into a robotic velociraptor and started going the wrong way so we had to get off.

...

The dream somehow gave way to us venturing through a dangerous mountain pass. The area we were in looked like one of those east-asian landscape paintings with the very exaggerated mountains. It was during a clear and starry night, but the light from the massive gas planet in the sky made it as bright as twilight. I was venturing with Marcus, a huge stone golem monster, and one of the Thomas the Tank engine engines. (Okay... once again... very interesting choice of characters.) I wonder what it is with dreams making trios of utterly random characters.

Regardless navigating these mountains was difficult. There was a floating cobblestone path but some of the stones would give way and fall to the ground if you put too much weight on them and I was trying to help the rock monster get across. At one point he fell and I grabbed him with one arm, and I wondered how I was strong enough to hold him up.

We managed to get to the next mountain where we encountered another animated stone figure, this one even larger. It attacked us, punching Marcus with the force to break the stone temple floor below us, then ran out of power and returned to being a static statue. I tried to pull Marcus away but his arm came off. When I looked at where it had been, I just saw very high tech looking mechanical parts and somehow knew that it was some kind of automated drone and the real Marcus was somewhere else.

The sky turned red and all the stars and planets disappeared along with the other dream characters. The sky was full of thousands of jet black shooting stars. A giant six-armed woman appeared and claimed to be the hindu goddess Kali. She showed me a purple blanket with gold embroidery of leaves and flowers going around the outside. It was made of some kind of indestructible silk. She then wrapped it around my head and face, leaving only my eyes exposed, tied it so it would stay on, then walked into the haze and disappeared.

I was now back in my house, standing at the top of the stairs. I undid the knot in the blanket and examined it. I thought I had woken up and was just hallucinating that the purple blanket still existed. I lost the dream for real into another short false awakening that I don't recall.

I was watching Danny Phantom. I noticed that Danny looked somewhat more muscular than the usual art style.

-+-

I was building sand castles and explaining a battle strategy to someone while talking about the 'Art of War'. Manei's father came over and he was telling me how he built their whole home island in Minecraft and wanted to use it to plan a defensive wall around the bay that if ships came into the bay they would run aground on sharp rocks and wreck.

-+-

I was on my college campus, only, as usual, it was truncated in some strange way where. There was a section of campus that was a former radioactive wasteland, with skyscrapers overgrown with vines and trees and the likes. Though it wasn't radioactive anymore because the radiation was from a very long time ago. There was also a tram system running around the college that had a stop in the abandoned city because my college planned to reclaim the land eventually and build dorms and classrooms there.

But until then my professor had to teach there. He was talking about how he wanted us to do a photography project of the abandoned section of campus. I then got back on the tram but it overlapped with being on more of a school bus. I had a discussion with some dream characters and one of them said that there was a rumor going around that this girl that I barley had said she was both my girlfriend and my sister, and it all started because my math professor shipped us. I didn't want the rumor to spread so I lied and said that I was homosexual.

Then the tram stopped and I had trouble getting all of my stuff back into my backpack. I wondered why the tram hadn't closed and gone to the next stop. I then saw that it was my professor that was driving the tram for me. I thanked him for holding the tram at the stop and told him I was sorry for being clumsy and disorganized with my possessions. He smiled and said to be more organized next time.

I got into my car and drove home. Just about as soon as I get home there is a knock on the door. I then 'remember' that I agreed to babysit some woman's child for the evening and that she would pay me (either $20 or $50, I cannot remember). I wanted to ask her some basic questions like allergies or her phone number but she was in a real hurry and just left. Her child was a chubby boy of maybe about five or six, with short blonde hair.

I will save the details but the boy's behavior turned out to be very inappropriate for someone of his age. I wanted to call his mother but didn't have her number. I told him to go sit in the corner for a time-out but he made a face at me. I then saw him in the kitchen, in nothing but his underwear pulling all of the knives out of the block and laying them out on the floor while eating cookies. I drew the line and said that he was coming with me. I picked him up and he started crying, then bit me on the arm and I let him go.

He ran to the counter and pulled my laptop computer off the counter by the headphone jack. I went over and looked at my now nonfunctional laptop and recognized it as a dream sign, and became lucid. I looked back up to the kid.

"This is an anxiety dream, and you are just a part of myself. You will now stop. I will now stop."

"You're not the boss of me."

The child began to transform. His head grew about ten times in size and his body expanded and stretched with a large round belly that reminded me of that of a pregnant woman forming. This new form of his a strange cross of absolutely hilarious and utterly terrifying.

"You are becoming a nightmare. What do you represent?"

I get no reply. I thought of the usual self-imposed rules I put upon myself for dealing with nightmares. If they represent something then I have to accept that thing and befriend them. If they do not represent something, or refuse to tell me their origin, then they exist without meaning in the dreamworld and can be defeated. This nightmare's presence doesn't make sense. I've long since gotten over my anxieties about working with children. His persistent presence is simply frustrating to me.

He starts walking towards me with a toddler-like wobble and a grin of excitement on his distorted face. I just start to think about how everything about this character is unlikeable. He's a brat from the moment he walks in and he's chosen such an awkward and disturbing form once he realizes there might be combat.

I strike him with my hands in a pushing motion. As I swing my hands foreward I notice sparks of electricity linking my hands in a small arc. At this point I'm still reluctant to seriously injure him at the thought of what his mother might think of me when she returns. (Guess I was not fully lucid...) But the monster barely registers the strike. He bends over and attempts to bite me again, where he now has teeth like the titans from Attack on Titan, way too many giant teeth in a wide grin. I figure thats what the dream was probably inspired by. I rocket backwards, clumsily colliding with and destroying the front door of my house, and sliding across a cold, muddy front yard.

Outside I see that I am in a twisted, nightmarish version of my town. Fires, lava, screaming victims, corpses and giant ash-black figures resembling the child but with more proportionate heads wobbling around, being the harbingers of the torment brought upon this world. One detail I remember in particular was the sky was stormy, but the clouds parted in the eye of the storm and the face of a colossal snow-white being with six eyes stared down on me. Even lucid, I could feel the fear emanating from that face and didn't want to continue looking at it.

I turned my attention back to the child monster, whos neck stretched and he made another attempt to bite at me. I wasn't holding back anymore. I kicked him in the jaw with enough force to create a shockwave and saw in slow motion from third person as the kick caused the monster to bite off its own tongue. The monster went flying upwards, and I rocketed into the air after it, unleashing a hail of fire missiles straight up, each blast propelling it higher into the air. I saw the monster clear the explosion, we were nearly at cloud level, closer to the fear-emanating six eyed face, who was now watching the battle through its window in the clouds. I saw the child monster and that my attack had no effect. The monster's stomach opened top-to-bottom and its intestines shot out like tentacles and wrapped around me. The entrails had a disturbing amount of detail, being covered in slime and blue veins.

I created a transparent bubble shield that repulsed my trappings. I then targeted his open stomach, interpreting it as a weakness. I created a spinning fireball with a point and shot it into the open stomach. It caused the monster to rocket back down towards my high school. It was screaming in pain but quickly recovered. I flew down after it and we were now low above the main street of my town. There were cars but they looked very punk, decorated with skulls and spikes. I flew very low over the pavement, that resembled molten magma, at one point flying underneath the car and re-emerging to see the monster hovering above center of town.

I at this point recognized that because this monsters 'home turf' was a firey hellscape, perhaps fire wasn't hurting it.

"Mea Impedius" was the voice command I had prepared to summon my weapon schema, should I ever need it. I heard a humming sound as a a long bronze staff manifested. I looked at it and saw small mechanisms of gears and levers moving. The dream changed completely the moment that I did and I saw Marcus, and we were sitting in his living room. He explained that my weapon schema could become multiple weapons and I simply had to command it to do what I wanted. I looked at the staff and thought that I wanted a ranged weapon and it bent. Two halves of a string connected from either end and it became a bow.

I was back in the original dream. I pulled back the bow and an arrow appeared. I fired at the monster and the arrow, in flight became a huge spear and impaled it through the body. The monster shrieked in pain and I knew I was hurting it now, but it pulled the arrow out and recovered from the wound. I flew backwards down the road as the monster charged at me. It was now wearing a crown made of holly, like a christmas wreath. (At first I thought it was a crown of thorns.) I kept firing arrows into it but they seemed to just be absorbed into its flesh. But then I got an X-ray visual of all the arrows inside of it were still there and they were weakening the monster because they had amethyst tips that emitted an energy that somehow weakened the monster.

I then willed the bow into a spear (with a very large amethyst tip) and threw it at the monsters head. It too got absorbed.

The monster became desperate and in too much pain, and vomited the grim reaper for lack of a better term. A skeletal body connected to the back of the monsters throat by a hundred spinal vertebrae shot fourth weilding a scythe. I couldn't remember the command I had planned for a dreamcatcher shield. Instead I just yelled "Shield, NOW!" and small metal leaflets arranged themselves into a silver Shield." However when the reaper came down onto me the shield broke and I got knocked backwards.

"NO! Dreamcatcher Shield!"

This time I was successful, a blue web of light appeared in front of me. The reaper's scythe came down on the glowing ward, getting caught right in the central eye. The scythe and grim reaper exploded off the shield that created a gonglike sound that shook the entire dreamworld. When it had stopped I heard a low, deep moan that I could feel through my old body. I looked up to see the six eyed face (that now only had four eyes, and looked more human) retreat up the hole in the storm. Rain began to fall and extinguish the fires and turn the magma into obsidian.

I woke up, but did a DEILD almost immediately. I think I saw my alarm clock for a few seconds and it was 4:43am.

The dream went back to the front room of my house where the whole thing had began. I was somehow still fighting the child monster but it was greatly weakened and had a smaller sized head (still disproportionate, though). It had its arm around my neck and I was struggling to get away. Apparently it had some kind of regenerative that allowed it to partially regenerate after all nightmares had already been banished.

I manifested a crossbow on my left wrist and said that the crossbow bolt would negate its regeneration. I saw two tiny green ghosts go around the bolt and the shaft glowed green. I fired it and the monster melted into a puddle of black and red goo and a 'baby alive' doll.

Marcus came in through the front door of my house. I asked him why the nightmare was so hard to kill and he said that it was a homunculus baby that somebody had released from a medieval painting that was haunted. He created an android that tricked the monster into coming over to my house and figured I could do all the 'dirty work' for him. I felt a little used not being informed ahead of time but I've been doing Marcus' dirty work since we met. He promised that next time he had a job for me like this he would keep me better informed, but that this had been on short notice because it was such a big threat.

I asked him why Manei had left my dreams and he showed me a comic panel that looked like my drawing style of her sitting on the couch eating ice cream out of the container and watching tv.

The dream faded into a nonlucid that I don't recall.

Another kind of interesting lucid last night. Not as good as last. But I know a lot of people like my persistent DCs.

Marcus was giving a conference on the Vietnam war. I was standing next to him on stage, but he was doing nearly all of the talking. He said that the war was very expensive, not just in terms of money, but in terms of human life, and showed a graveyard for people who had died in the war.

He then said that war could be harmful even to those that survived it, and showed me that most of the people attending his conference were veterans. Most all of them had some kind of lasting injury, like missing limbs or eyes. I recall one man, who was short and skinny and looked rather young to be a solider was missing his right hand and had replaced it with a magnet. Apparently he put little magnets onto items he frequently needed around the home and could turn the magnet on and off with his nerves.

A second guy had a rather strange configuration in where he had a couple of wires running from the stump of where his arm had been to a cart that had the base of a green robotic arm (like an industrial factory robot) on it.

A third guy in the back who was bedridden and only had one eye left, and no limbs. He was interfacing with a computer through his brain that he could use to preform simple tasks and ask the doctors to bring him things. Marcus went on to talk about how the technology to create artificial limbs that interfaced with the nervous system already existed but was too expensive for most people. Even so, he wanted to give all of the war veterans in the room his model on a reduced payment plan, with the vets paying very little, if at all, even when other companies refused to do so.

He then said that he was still working on it but could not yet create artificial eyes or repair the spine.

My phone buzzed and I got a notification. My phone was holographic and I remembered Marcus gave it to me. The youtube user 'I Hate Everything' had posted a new video. 'I Hate the Nebulon B frigate from Star Wars: Return of the Jedi.'I became semi lucid when I realized that Marcus had given me the phone and that I am not subscribed to that channel.

After the conference Marcus took me into a back room where he was talking about how hard it is to eliminate war. He showed me a room where people were playing dungeons and dragons, then showed me a room full of video games and people playing, and then showed me a room full of toys and comic books and told me how violence was so engrained in our culture we tend to ignore it and never really think about the consequences.

"Our culture devours violent media at such an alarming rate, faster than-" [he made a humorous some analogy to a fat guy in a place with a lot of fried food, but I forgot his exact wording.]

Marcus took me back to his house. He said it was christmas time and that Manei's sister (who's name was like Kathalia or something) and her boyfriend were coming over and I had to help get ready. He told me to get a christmas tree and created a portal to my college. I did some rather sluggish flying around on my fire jets for a bit.

I saw a guy selling christmas trees in the quad and just took one back through the portal without paying for it. I thought the guy would call me out as a theif at me but the guy turned out to be one of the people he had given prosthetics to, and he said that it was the least he could do to help him out.

I took the tree back to Marcus' house and he set up a hologram projector that projected red and green snowflake ornaments onto the tree in very vivid light and color. I think he actually had two projectors, one that projected in a red light channel, and another green. I lost the dream staring at the decorations.

I was on a heavily modified version of my college campus. I don't want to go into too much detail but in general, it was hillier, had more trees and the buildings were re-arranged in strange and illogical ways. In some places, buildings were stacked on top one another.

I was walking through an underground portion of campus where there was a road when I saw a guy driving a triple decker van about to crash into another guy driving a smaller car. I shouted look out and the guy in the van swerved out of the way missing the other guy by inches but his triple decker van tipped over. The two got out of their cars and started trying to blame me for the accident and the guy having tipped over his van.

I said to them that I was just thankful that it was not me who was in the accident and became lucid upon realizing it was a car crash dream. I must have not been fully lucid because I then thought to myself that they were both other dreamers and decided that the world could do with two less car crash anxiety dreamers and used my powers to get the triple decker van upright and repair any minor damage to their cars.

I then went looking for Manei. I wanted to talk with her about why meditation was giving me such backwards results and what changes I should make to my routine to make it have a positive impact. I was also looking to apologize as in a previous dream, one not posted on dreamviews, I took my frustrations out on her. I tried my regular summoning command but it did not work. I then tried calling her on my cell phone but when the person on the other end answered it was my crush from high school instead. I thought to myself that I've honestly lost a lot of faith in her ability to act as a proper dream guide, as most all of what she has taught me has actually slowed me down and how I didn't plan on taking any more of her advice because none of it ever seemed to be useful. Regardless we still enjoy each other's company.

It was then that I spotted her at a train station wearing a red hoodie and one of those novelty glasses+mustace+joke nose things. As soon as I spotted her she started booking it and the crowd blocked my path. I lifted off and flew above the crowd but by the time I did she was lost. I flew back and fourth in a lawnmower pattern looking for her. I eventually spotted a taller girl wearing a red hoodie from behind and thought I had succeeded. Flying was getting kind of sluggish and I landed thinking I had won, but I could tell the moment that I looked at her that it wasn't her.

This was either a really, REALLY good trick or I'm just semi-lucid and dumb. The dream character said to me something that was really funny but at the same time incredibly racist and insensitive, then gave me a sheet of notebook paper. On it was a crude drawing of Manei that came to life on the page. The drawing said that Manei was going to leave and was uncertain if she would return anytime soon, if at all. This would have worried me had I not recalled her saying she was leaving me for good several times when I first started out only to return a few lucid dreams later like none of it ever happened.

I began to meditate on why she was regressing to these old, and annoying habits, running away and saying she was leaving forever and decided to just ignore it.

-+-

In the second dream I became lucid right away. I was at a castle built into the cliff by the side of the ocean. Huge waves were rolling in off the coast and breaking on the rocks, and the sky was gray and it was raining. The dream supposedly took place at Hogwarts, and that was what the castle was, but I think the dream had appropriated the scene from the half blood prince where Harry and Dumbledore travel to the cave to retrieve the horcrux.

Regardless, there are several circular stone towers with crenelations along the edges that are connected to the main castle by arch bridges, and are built out amongst the rocky outcroppings. I am atop the largest of these towers, with a gear pattern constructed out of a lighter-colored stone than the rest of the castle built into the floor. I have been captured by a group of dark wizards and they are now setting me to duel for my life in an arena.

The dark wizards teleport down in two lines, and one of them steps foreward. He is larger than the others and looks like Snape. The head dark wizard (who was not Voldemort) tells us to begin fighting. The opposing wizard immediately casts a disarming spell and my wand flies out of my hand. Snape looks victorious and savors the moment before preparing a killing curse.

"Maybe I don't need a wand to cast magic because I'm dreaming!" I say to myself. At that moment he fires the killing curse and in my sudden lucidity I create a dreamcatcher shield on my left arm. (Probably no coincidence given the new signature I was making last night right and before I went to bed was inspired by the original ability.) Everyone is taken aback by my ability and are shouting at how I am able to conjure magical powers without the use of a wand.

His curses continually rebound off the shield. I think of fullmetal alchemist and decide to try summoning a weapon by transmuting the ground. I get an almost textbook summon of a short spear, leaving behind a crater in the stone where I pulled material for the transmutation. I throw it at Snape but he dodges. He continues firing curses but is nervous and slowly backing up to the edge of the arena.

I then created a flame cloak and began flying. (I don't remember the exact logic, but it was a re-interpretation of my fire jets somehow.) The other wizards realize that their champion is in danger and everyone begins casting curses at me. I convert the dreamcatcher shield to a bubble shield around myself.

"Coherte Bombad Maxima"

I sent fourth a pair of massive fireballs. Snape threw up a defensive spell but it was no match, the fireballs destroyed half of the arena in a very vivid and realistic explosion. The dark wizards were thrown into a frenzy. Some of them tried to attack me but I conjured arrays of bows and arrows out of thin air and had them fire to keep the wizards away. The leader of the dark wizards (Emperor Palpatene apparently.) attempted to confront me but Sabine from Star Wars Rebels appeared and started fighting him instead.

I turned into a wyrvern without really willing it and began to fly away from the scene just not caring for more fighting. I lost the dream and woke up.

-+-

Somewhere in there was a very dull dream about me and S showing up to a music concert on the wrong day.

Well what I was bringing up in the first LD holds true. Manei has been suggesting meditation for a long time, and as part of a new year's resolution I decided to do it nightly. Though her past advice has been questionable at best and horrifically inaccurate at worst I felt pretty confident that meditation would be great for the ends I looked to accomplish. Turns out the results (That I kept in a chart) went retrograde pretty hard, with lucid dreams only happening on nights that I did not meditate. (It's even more strange when you consider that I was up past midnight last night when formerly I had been carefully controlling my sleep schedule.)

The meditation went so far as to absolutely obliterate my dream recall and clarity giving me several recall-less nights. I don't post to my DJ everyday but I keep a private one and write in it everyday, and recall-less nights are actually something that is very rare for me to have, so for me to get so many in such a short timespan was obviously a side-effect of the meditation.

http://www.dreamviews.com/meditation...my-dreams.html

Semi Lucid; my subcon is explaining to me/ I am explaining to myself how every one of my dream characters is just an aspect of myself and/or my worldview that is distinct enough from myself that it becomes personified as a separate entity. My subcon is explaining that when one aspect completely owns the dream it can become something completely different depending upon what aspects of myself are present within the dream.

Marcus' Dream:

I am in a sort of spectator view mode; that will be the case for all of these dreams. I am only able to witness, never interact. Since only one aspect of myself is present the other dream characters cannot possibly be present either. There is a fleet of space warships situated in front of a blue swirling gas planet with rings. (Neptune) There are different classes with distinct roles; Carriers that carry both manned and unmanned bombers and interceptors; Missile cruisers that carry advanced fusion weapons; and Warships that carry massive railguns. The fleet is escorting various cargo and mining ships that are looking to mine the rings and moons of the planet for resources vital to the war effort.

An alien fleet appears farther out from the planet. While Marcus' ships are somewhat typical "Sci Fi Flying boxes" the alien ships are brightly colored and have organic forms. (They looked kind of like Covenant ships from Halo). He organized the entire fleet. The way he commands things feels like the movie Ender's Game. He creates formations of unmanned fighters to protect the vital fleet members and begins dividing the fleet off into smaller groups. Each one will use various gravitational interactions with the moons to attempt to strike the aliens from multiple angles.

The larger alien fleet begins moving in. They do not break apart like his did and simply advance straight for the flagship that Marcus is on, that has remained in its same orbit. Before long they are struck from all sides by surprise and the alien fleet falls into disarray. They attempt retaliation but Marcus' ships are protected by what he calls "Onion Shields", essentially instead of having one powerful shield generator his ships have multiple weaker generators creating layered shields for redundancy. Funnily enough, when struck, the shields will also glow bright blue and be the shape of an Onion, a product of how the magnetic fields of multiple shield generators interact.

The Aliens eventually begin to organize their fleet and form a counteroffensive, having vastly superior numbers. Marcus thinks how he anticipated this and took into account the rotation of nearby moons. We then see, from the point of view of the moon several huge laser cannons mounted on the surface with miles of solar panels powering them rotate into view. The cannons fire drive the alien fleet back. The remaining alien ships jump to lightspeed in retreat.

The dream then somehow transitions to another dream that overlapped it in some way. In the dream we were sneaking into an old building together and we came into a room where there were Lego Star Wars sets. (With there of course also being sets of the various spacecraft Marcus and the aliens had utilized in their battle.) The room had supposedly been locked since before the first star wars movie was even made but there were sets from all the movies there. I remarked how well planned out the story was for sets from all the movies to have been made this far in the past.

In some way the entire battle never really happened and what was happening was we were just playing with our Legos. I was for some reason very disappointed with that fact. The dream scene started changing to look more like Marcus' house just with a big pile of various Lego sets on the floor. Marcus wanted to read and I wanted to build my own ship but I complained that all of his Legos were gray and I couldn't put any color into my design.

One thing that I think was sort of funny was that he had a collection of globes that I never noticed before in a row on a shelf. Each of the globes was for a different planet, most of which were not part of our solar system, and they were all to scale so they were all different sizes depending upon the planet. Including a globe of a gas planet that we had been using during our play session with the ships.

Jack's Dream:

He is riding his motorcycle down a road in the desert. It looks like the American southwest with mesas and such. He comes into a town and that I suppose was a town for people who did cattle ranching and such because a lot of the people were wearing cowboy hats and stuff.

Then Chuck Norris, Lightning McQueen and the Monopoly guy (Okay... Interesting choice of characters. ) Lightning McQueen wanted Jack to drive him but because this was a talking car this was also meant to be sexual in some way. Jack didn't realize this and opened his door and Lighting McQueen's brain fell out but was still attached by the brainstem. Jack was trying to put it back inside and Chuck Norris (who was like the town sheriff) wrote him a ticket for improper treatment of a motor vehicle.

I don't remember any more specific chains of events but I do remember the general plot. The parts I remember were that Jack (like in the plot of Cars) had to fix up the town for committing a crime and was therefore stuck there. Meanwhile two girls were fighting over his attention. One of the girls was descended from the leader original settlers who came to the valley during the gold rush and the other girl was from a native American tribe who had been forced to share the land when the settlers arrived, so their feuding was amplified to the point that their families came into conflict and there was fear that the whole town would fall into a civil war.

Somehow the whole issue was resolved when Jack was caught by the families having a threesome with both the girls at the same time and it was supposed to be like Romeo and Juliet but I was just confused. This got the families to realize that they were not so different after all. Since the Monopoly guy who was also the mayor and was the most senior member of the settlers' family, he relieved him of his punishment for his crime and his dream ended he rode off on his motorcycle.

Manei's Dream:

It felt like the whole dream took place on this beach we stayed at for a couple days when we vacationed in Hawaii. Only the hotel was not there. (In fact any man-made structures were absent.) The dream was sort of like a more realistic version of Minecraft because there was a holographic menu that she could bring up that held items and options and her objective was to craft and create a suitable living environment. The dream environment had certain modifications that made it easier and faster to do things that would normally take a long time. The things I remember her doing (in no particular order since I can't remember)

~At one point she was carving in the side of a palm tree with an obsidian dagger. She carved her full name (Maneimonehi Qui Tarr) into the tree vertically. Her writing looked somewhat archaic and distorted but I could still make out the lettering. I'm not sure if the font is her way of writing or was a product of carving letters into a tree or an actual way of writing.

~At another point she needed to acquire food. Since she has had water manipulation powers she apparently can also hold her breath for extended periods of time, allowing her to swim deep into the ocean and spear fish to cook and eat.

~At yet another point she crafted a potion that would allow her to change her appearance using various plant ingredients on the island.

~The final thing was she built a house. This was the part that seemed the most like Minecraft. Only the concept of inventory did not apply. Henceforth she had to cut down several dozen trees and manually carry the logs and assemble the house herself. At some point I manifested into the dream again, still semi lucid.

I started building the roof onto the house to help her out. My character seemed to have some kind of inventory as I was simply able to project a beam out from my hand that created a thatched roof on the house. I went back and fourth in a lawnmower pattern until I was done. We went inside to decorate the interior together. The navigation of the menu was confusing. I tried placing and removing several items. This was the part that seemed the most like Minecraft. The only difference between our characters was that she apparently had to acquire her resources manually while I had unlimited access to everything through a menu.

She asked me for some gold and I gave her a big stack of gold bars. I then tried decorating again and managed to add a bunch of potted plants, rugs and paintings on the walls. I think most of the paintings were like ink paintings on parchment with Chinese calligraphy. I was having trouble placing things symmetrically, though I eventually got things to work. Manei then showed me she had made a golden safe and put iron bars inside.

She then used the potion that let her change her appearance. She said she was tired of having wavy hair because it was hard to brush. She kept making changes to herself. I remember at one point she changed her height to be much shorter and at another point she gave herself slightly lighter skin and freckles. But when she finished in the menu she pressed 'cancel' instead of 'save' by accident and reverted to how she normally looked.

We then went outside of the house and the house had been moved somewhere else. I was under attack by zombies and had to get back inside, but I fell into a hole and lost a lot of my health. When I went back inside, Manei was gone and the house was like a store. There was a guy with a tophat and steampunk goggles selling potions. I bought a whole bunch because I had unlimited money from having an infinite inventory, but for some reason couldn't just access the potions myself. I then saw a crossbow in the corner and decided to take it with me.

I went back outside and took a better look around. I also became fully lucid at this point and went outside with the expectation of seeing an interesting dream scene, but not before stabilizing by feeling the crossbow in my hand.

I went outside and the entire dream was different. The sky was night with green and purple auras dancing overhead. I was in a village of buildings, similarly styled to the house Manei had built. Some of them were built up on high, rickety looking wooden stilts. The ground was covered with snow-white coarse crystalline sand that I examined in my hand for additional stabilization.

The next thing I noticed was a female police officer yelling at a giant mushroom with a face who told the mushroom to stop 'sporeating' (apparently a term for releasing spores) because he was giving people in the village allergies. The mushroom took out a pipe and began smoking weed that made the policewoman even more mad.

I remember thinking "bring on the weird, I wanna see how weird this dream can get". A giant ostrich looking bird ran up to me and bowed down. I figured it was indicating for me to get on because it had a saddle and bags of supplies strapped to its side, so I got on and started riding it out of the town. The dream went into third person and I saw myself. I was wearing a long blue cloak and had all of the potions that I had previously purchased strapped onto my belt in order of color, making a rainbow of bottles. I saw the ringed planet from before hanging in the sky along with dozens of moons, only affirming the lucidity further. As I rode out of the village I saw I was on what seemed like a salt flat with giant crystalline structures jutting from the surface, and fungal bulbs growing freely in the place of grass.

I then saw a headless skeleton wearing gold armor that had a small group of zombies around it and it challenged me to a battle. The battle was turn based, like in an RPG where each side could only attack once, then had to afford the other side an option to attack.

The skeleton a magic spell that caused a bunch of shovels to appear and dug a hole that me and the ostrich fell into but the ostrich flapped its wings. I didn't seem capable of flight but it was able to fly just long enough to get out of the hole before the zombies could go in and attack us.

The ostrich then breathed green fire at the enemies but the made a magical shield and blocked it.

The skeleton took out a Yu-Gi-Oh card and played it down so small red dragon would appear. The dragon bit off and ate the ostrich's leg but it got replaced almost instantaneously with a holographic leg.

I then saw I had the option to attack and thought that I wanted to use the crossbow but it was now just a regular bow that was named "Bow of the Dodecagon". I knocked and drew an arrow and a dozen other bows appeared in the air above and beside me. When I fired all the arrows released and killed the dragon.

The skeleton then removed one of his arms and stuck it in his groin and pulled out a sword with that arm making some kind of phallic metaphor. He attacked the ostrich and did 838 damage.

The ostrich got mad because it was at low health and could do a special attack. Its holographic leg turned into a holographic machine gun and it fired and killed all of the zombie henchmen leaving only the skeleton. This caused the headless skeleton to surrender the battle. He pooped out a bag of in-game money.

Apparently during the battle you automatically used your potions to do special attacks and I was upset about this because the potions that I had bought were rare and I didn't get enough money back from the skeleton to buy all of them again. I tried to go back to the store anyway but it had been replaced with a 1950's style diner. Jack was there and we sat down and started talking and I lost the dream.

I actually had this dream on Christmas morning, but I've been busy and haven't bothered to write it down until now. In fact I didn't even plan on attempting lucid dares until a much later date seeing as I need to completely rebuild myself in terms of lucid dreaming. (I actually have started doing recall excersises.)

However my subconscious completed this dare for me, so I figured it best to post on it.

The dream started with me false awakening and going on an early morning run up to the Library (on Christmas morning) and going to check out a book. When I got there the sky was clear and I could see stars and the sun was just starting to come up. As I arrived I attained some level of lucidity, first questioning why I had decided to come here early on Christmas, when the library was undoubtedly closed, and thinking that I should return home so that we can open presents, and later my lucidity ascended to semi lucidity of the dream environment thinking about completing a lucid dare.

The thing that I remember becoming interesting was from the outside the front wall of the library was gone. You could walk right in and turn around, and then the wall would be visible, but it was still intangible, and you could walk back out to the outside. I did some experimentation with this by walking sideways and observing that the wall was a strange two-dimensional plane, like a bugged polygon in a video game engine that you can only see from one one side.

I then thought about the dare cafe and had given me and decided to look for a journal, with the expectation that one would be on one of the bookshelves. I found a small leather book under a shelf that looked like a journal but I couldn't get it open because it had a lock on it.

Marcus then appeared and said that he wanted to help me complete the dare but that he didn't normally keep a journal so he would have to make one up on the spot. He walked over to the large format printer and plugged a micro-USB cable into the side of the frame of his glasses and the other end into the printer and started printing out a very large sheet of light gray paper with blue writing on it.

The top half read "The four houses of hogwarts are "Nightngale, Grifflepuff, Snakehead and Sandwich" and showed a hogwarts coat of arms in full color. (The rest was written in sloppy blue handwriting that looked not unlike my own handwriting.) The bottom half was some nonsensical math equations using the variables C,W,X,Y,Z, and maybe a few others. They ended an equals sign and a drawing of a sandwich.

Spoiler for What the journal page looked like:

I think he was about to print more pages but I lost the dream and woke up.

I did this semi lucid and my subcon did most of the work, so, DawnEye (still tempted to call you 'Cafe'), let me know if you want me to try again.

I was going through some dream about being in South America with S, A, H, and possibly C. We were all in a duplicate of my house somewhere along the western coast of South America, presumably somewhere further south. I remember that the house is isolated at the top of a cliff and the remainder of the village is further down a cliff.

In order to get down to the village, one must climb onto this massive pencil that hovers tentatively on the edge of a precarious wooden dock-like structure on the cliff., about as big around as an oil drum and maybe 10 or 15 feet long. The as soon as the pencil was boarded it would move up and down very quickly, giving you only a few seconds to get off at either the top or bottom of the cliff before shooting back up or down, making riding it a dangerous affair.

At some point I am chosen to go out for snacks and go down the town. I think that I should book a plane flight to go back home as I had my last exam the next day (today). However upon taking the pencil back up, I am shunted sideways in midair and flung to the side. While flying through the air I rather randomly realized that I was dreaming. The lucidity was not particularly clear, however.

With ease, I caught myself in midair and began flying. The sensation of flying was unusually visceral this time around. The feelings of G-forces and the sounds of wind rushing by were very noticeable. But it seemed like the visuals were not as impressive as they usually were in my dreams. Things were kind of foggy and difficult to make out. I remember I flew over a rainforest and there were dozens of giant ruined satellite dishes, rusted brown and overgrown with vines and trees.

I then began getting over a farmland/pasture type area. My flying began to fail and I was falling lower and slower and couldn't get higher. There were these very large animals, looking kind of like cows, but much larger; their bodies were the size of small houses and I was able to weave through their tree-trunk sized legs with room to spare. They had dark brown fur and were covered in large white polka dots. I remember they had very pronounced ears that stuck out sideways and short elephant trunks.

I eventually landed in a fenced off area near a barn and a heard of goats ran past me. I decided I would summon Manei but didn't properly motion or voice command. I just kind of focused on an image of her appearing. I started seeing her appear, but she was hazy and glowing, as if she were made of energy. All I could make out was that she had an orange flower in her hair and a white toga or robe. I heard S shout my name and my bout of lucidity ended as quickly as it started. The half manifested dream guide disappeared and I turned around. But when I did, I struck an golden-orange dog on the muzzle.

The dog fell over as if it were dead. S ran over and said that the dog was named "Pumpkin Seed" and that I had killed it by tearing some muscle in the muzzle that apparently was a vulnerable spot for dogs. I apologized saying that I got surprised and didn't see what I was doing and S seemed to understand but was still upset. The dog got back up, though, made a simpering sound and then ran a big circle around us. I noticed the side of the dog's muzzle seemed a little swollen but it seemed fine other than that. The environment changed to a snowy one and the dog started playing in the snow with S.

I have honestly done an atrocious job of keeping up the meditation and bedtime routine I set for myself, but last night still afforded me a lot of lucidity. The last time I did meditate, (was a very long meditation, three or four days ago now.) I was meditating on the idea of dream control. (Though the meditation was mostly focused on matter in waking life.)

I got the idea that dream control could potentially be executed in a sort of three-pronged approach. Where one would use a verbal command, a body motion and an expectation. This gives you three different mediums in which your dream control has influence so even if one of or two of them is undermined in some way, your dream control still has a chance of working, and when all three of them work in tandem, your control becomes very precise and powerful.

In fact, I've already had the opportunity to practice some of this control, but both of the dreams devolved into sexual fantasies rather quickly, hence the reason I didn't post earlier.

The dream started off nonlucidly. I am playing Basketball with a group of kids in what feels like my high school gymnasium. The dream's interpretation Gymnasium is very barren, however. Most of the exits, the folded up bleachers and the banners on the walls and plaques are absent. The game is five verses five and we are losing. Jack is on the opposing team, and my crush from high school is on my team.

At some point I sit down on the court. I have two right legs that are rather small, feminine and thin, and a large, muscular, left leg and am having complications taking my shoes and socks on and off and getting them on the correct feet. One of my teammates yells at me and tells me to get back into the game. I end up with one of the smaller legs being barefoot and having to focus constantly on keeping it bent upwards so that I can run lopsidedly with the remaining two legs.

Someone tells me to play the "Wizard's Center Position" and I have no idea what they mean. I just kind of stand in the middle of the court as the rest of the game plays out. Nobody else seems to be yelling at me so I must have done it right.

Somehow or other I manage to get rid of the third leg and even out the two remaining legs. The basketball game ends in a draw after I jump into the air and find myself unable to come back under the influence of gravity. I float over to the corner of the gymnasium as another game starts with someone else taking my place on the team. There are a group of parents and two other children. These children are explained to be 'Specials', because they have special powers. There is a young oriental girl who's left eye is a milky middle gray and she can see the future with that eye.

There is also an older boy (late high school) who can ignite his body hair and is immune to his own flames. Rather humorously, upon demonstrating his power, he not only ignited the hair on his head, his developing stubble and armpit hair, but his pubic hair, burning a hole in his pants and showing his "glory" to the world. Apparently they suspect me being a Special because I am out of the influence of gravity.

I suddenly realize that it is because I am dreaming. Though I was already hovering, I turn my fire jets on and fly upwards toward the metal rafters of the gym, weaving in and out of them. I find myself in my house, near the open patio. (There is a big glass wall here.) I try to open the door but it is stuck. I try to phase through the glass but just end up breaking it. The sensation of the glass breaking is unusual, I feel the bits hitting me but their sharpness is seemingly deflected by a shield I have around my own body.

I rocket off the back patio and immediately find myself tumbling through darkness and gasping for breath. I try to refocus, to see something that I can anchor the dream and ensure that I do not lose it. Stars become visible, I am in deep space, and tumbling around uncontrollably. I manage to stop myself spinning and see the crescent of a planet or moon nearby. I look at the destination and attempt to rocket closer. Nothing happens. I decide to make use of voice commands.

"Fly!"

Nothing.

"Accelerate!"

Nothing.

"I am a rocket ship!"

Nothing.

"GOD F**KING DAMMIT MOVE!"

I half expect this to happen because it's happened before but I get jerked forward at an absurd speed and smack into the moon with such speed and force the entire moon disintegrates into molten slag and mountain-sized boulders. Turns out that planetary body I saw was the earth's moon.

The dream gets narrated by Marcus explaining that the moon's destruction radically altered the earth's climate, creating a ring of debris around the earth. There is a (rather humorous considering the implications) visualization of several large asteroid hitting the earth near Australia and India. Marcus says "Lighting might never strike the same place twice, but Six pieces of the moon hit the same spot in Australia, what do you make of that, hmm? It will take a million years for the earth to recover from such a travesty."

"Regenerate!"

I am outside the derelict facade of a grocery store in my town. Looks long abandoned and there are jungle trees growing out of holes in the roof and parking lot. The dream has suddenly taken on an absurd amount of atmosphere. It is raining and the dream is very realistic. I feel as though the implications of my brash dream control are being rubbed in my face by my subconscious, but I don't mind. Looking in the sky, through a hole in the raincloud, I see the ring of debris and shattered crescent of the moon. I know I should feel bad but this world I have entered is so intriguing.

I have no body. I look down and see that I am a tiny "marble". It looked more like a miniature sun the size of a marble floating six or so feet above the pavement. I got to look at it very closely in swooping motions that pass over the surface, showing the detail. It does look like a star, with miniature solar flares and sunspots and everything. The star contorts and limbs stretch from it and with a sudden "pop" I'm back into my dream-body. My feet splash into a muddy puddle by the root of a large mangrove tree.

The first thing I notice is that I have regenerated nude. But I feel much more confident in my ability to control the dream now. Time to try out some more commands.

"Vestimente"

Sweeping gray robes hug me from behind and pass around my body, hugging it tightly. I was hoping for clothing with more pzazz but this will do. It's setting a positive trend for this control.

"Semper Stabelem"

I clap my hands together and then grab two of the tree roots. A shock-wave goes out, rustling the leaves and disrupting the rain momentarily into a mist. When it clears, the visuals remain the same, but I get more sound information from the dream. I can hear the rain falling now and hear a frog croaking. I decide to go inside the derelict supermarket.

Inside I am immediately ambushed by these both horridly disgusting and intriguing mutated cyborg plant zombies. They all have several rows of sharp wooden teeth and seem to be made of knotted bark and wood. They have some kind of breathing tubes and a chestpeice with a grid of square blinking lights as well. Reacting quickly I resort to a dragonborn shout.

"Fus RoDah!"

This seems largely ineffective. For some reason the effect it has on the zombies is to turn them passive rather than blast them away. I make a note of the effect using 'gibberish' commands seems to have randomized effects though it's hardly scientific experimentation, given that I only used one command.

I decide to exit through the back wall of the supermarket. I know I can't phase through. I decide to simply destroy the wall. Though I never meditated on a command for this so I have to make one up on the fly. I raise my hand to the wall to better indicate my target and visualize the wall breaking.

"Crumblem"

Nothing.

"Crumblem Maximum"

Still no effect. I try to go with it and figure that maybe the spell weakened the wall. I run and jump into the air and sort of kick the wall with both legs, going straight through it. The dream shows in slow motion the wall disintegrating in extremely vivid detail. I could count several dozen bricks all breaking from their positions and accurately following the laws of physics as a broke through the wall.

I was now in some kind of meadow or park. It seemed as though we had abandoned the post - apocalyptic earth scenario now. I spot Manei and decide to interact with her but as soon as she sees me she giggles starts running away. She hasn't done this in years, but she used to do it all the time when I was just starting out, and it has always been very annoying. She never offers any explanation why and refuses to stop when I tell her.

I run after her, but I pull my fire jets from my hands to increase my speed. We transition back to the overgrown abandoned jungle world and we are in my neighborhood. She sees I'm gaining on her quickly and telekenetically bends some vines and branches to block my path. As they lower, I slide underneath them just before her barrier can reach ground level. Somehow she covers a lot of ground, and runs through an overgrown frame of a house. I would follow but things are collapsing in my path.

I start getting frustrated. In my first year or so of LD I wasted countless dreams chasing after her like it was some stupid game, mostly because I needed help getting even rudimentary control to work, that or dreams would turn up empty with her being the only other character, and if I didn't chase her down, I'd be left alone without dream control in a barren world. I figured this had long since been absolved. I quickly invented another command on the fly.

"Acrobatos"

I then jumped and in one leap cleared the entire house. While in the air I was able to preform various flips and twirls. I landed and she was still ahead of me but losing ground. I ran after her but she made to run through a burnt out, rusted, moss covered bus, throwing up more obstacles, this time a number of small quicksand pools. I leaped over that as well. It still seemed like she was getting away, so before I landed.

"Coherte Bombad"

I threw out a small fire missile, aiming in front of where she was going to be. This surprised her enough and made her stumble over onto a patch of moss and ferns. I landed in front of her.

"I always hated it when you did that - Still hate it."

She got up, but gave me this defeated sideways glance and almost humorous look, like somebody who had just been beaten at their favorite game. She then proceeded to explain to me that I would have to wait for the next dream to talk to her, but I cannot remember what her reasoning was. (Though I think her clothes had gotten covered with mud when I tripped her and now she needed to get them cleaned, or that was atleast part of it.) Whatever it was I took it as reasonable and understood if we couldn't talk now, but wasn't quite ready to forgive her for running off like that and thought that it would only be fair if she stayed for the rest of this dream. But she had to go.

The remainder of the dream was me in another park or playground like area. I was impressing some random dream characters with the "Acrobatos" command, preforming impossible jumps and gymnastics, and leaping over trees and playground equipment. I was thinking I wanted to try some new ones I came up with, like possibly an animal transformation or sex change, or if I was feeling brave, make another attempt at teleportation. The dream destabilized and ended with me shouting "Semper Stabelem" over and over while tearing up handfuls of grass.

-WBTB-

I somehow managed reentry right into a lucid. I was with Manei once more. We were on the wall of a large castle. (Not a proper fortification castle, more like a magical fairy tale Disney castle.) I knew there was no reason to try and pin the running away thing, better to just forget that ever happened and not let the mental schema of it squirm back into my mind at all.

I had fallen asleep with this troubling idea in my mind that lucid dreaming seemed to have lost its magic. When I started, I was so motivated to LD and it seemed so cool and mysterious and now the happenings of lucid dreams surprise me less and less as I've gotten more familiar with it. I'd foreseen this problem for some time, starting around when the fantasy of having kids and a dream family was a big thing with her. It was then that I realized that my dreams are sort of becoming too anchored to themes and ideas that are already there and not leaving enough new avenues of exploration open. (It's honestly in a similar vein as that post by Spellbee2 about mundane dream environments becoming annoying.)

But funnily enough I was able to drop this idea pretty quickly when I considered the previous lucid dream. Manei went ahead without my prompting and explained that was why she ran away in the previous dream. Sure in one way it was a very stale, pointless and frustrating schema from a long time ago, but there was a new twist; I had caught up to her. But she agreed with me that maybe it wasn't the best choice to make in the end, recalling how early on our relationship wasn't that good as a whole, and modern references to that should probably be avoided. She still kind of seemed in a daze and mumbled something back to me but was obviously distracted.

I replied by saying that I still feel like I've lost something over the years, some kind of "magic" to lucid dreaming. Though she grossly misinterpreted what I meant by "the 'magic' in lucid dreaming." and dissolved her clothing.

I decided to excuse myself at once saying that I had to wake up and go to the toilet. My lucidity level dropped significantly remainder of this dream but it involved me semi lucidly passing about three dozen large amethyst crystal balls and managing to clog the toilet of one of the bathrooms of the castle. Manei came in (still naked) to see what the problem was and saw what was in the toilet. When she saw it she pinched her nose and reeled back like there was a bad smell.

"Gross! What did you eat?"

The dream faded out with her trying to unclog the toilet with an oversized conjuring of her malachite sword and me trying to sneak up behind her with "vestimente Manei" and get some clothes on her.

Been really sick for the past few days and had no dream recall at all, at least until this morning. I slept from about 7:00am until about 11:00. I've been taking a break from lucid dreaming but once this illness runs its course I plan to return to and re-evauluate my chart and meditation method. I think it had potential.

I dreamed I was outside a small house. (It looked rather like a strange combination of houses, my grandmother's, my great-grandmother's and my cousins.) But I'm going to ignore the details because the house phased between various characteristics of all of them in the time that I spent there. In the dream, I am motivated to, for whatever reason, build a cobblestone path leading up to the front door of the house from the street.

This proves difficult, I do not have enough stones to make a proper path. The path tapers as it runs up the lawn, going from some respectably large and well placed stones to a couple of very small (maybe softball sized stones) as it reaches the front porch. At some point during the dream, the lawn truncates into a steep incline and I must dig away large amounts of dirt to build a sort of ramp that the path can be laid on. At another point, my path somehow ends up lopsided and looping around into the neighboring houses driveway. But eventually I end up creating a semi-successful pathway, despite that by the time I finish, the entire lawn is a patchwork chunks of grass from all the moving of earth I had to do.

Eventually I finish and I am satisfied. I become anxiotous realizing that I have just done a serious job changing some stranger's lawn. (as the house was still an unrecognizable conglomeration of familiar places, but as far as I was concerned, still a stranger's.) Chances are when they return home, they will find me and I will be punished. I consider running away, but consider that some neighbor has probably already seen me through their window and could identify me.

Before I can decide a course of action, a white SUV with golden rims around the wheels and a golden grill on the front pulls up. My maternal grandmother steps out, and the SUV drives off. This causes me to become lucid, seeing as she has been dead for about five years and I have pegged her appearances as a dream sign. One unusual trait of her is that her eyes are a milky bluish-white, as a blind person's would.

She explains that I am one of the few people she is able to visit since her departure from earth. (She has appeared in previous dreams, implying this.) I reply to her, saying that is most likely untrue and that the likelihood is that she is simply an image created by my subconscious and not really the spirit of my deceased grandmother. She gets a powerful temper from this, proceeding to say that she will run me down with a car. Then going into the garage and getting into the same baby-barf-green minivan she owned while still alive.

I get rather frustrated with her, this seems like an overreaction to say the least. The minivan revs into gear. Fully lucid, but still having faulty confidence, I brace myself for the impact. The van jumps foreward suddenly. I push into it with my arms, crushing the face of the car. I then proceed to punch clean through the hood with one arm. I feel around and grab hold of something. (I think it was a cylinder of the engine) and tear it from the car, throwing it with inhuman force into the sky. (It didn't come back down.) Whatever it was I tore from under the hood of the car, It stopped the car from running. My intention was not to cause the projection of my grandmother harm, and the negative implications that entailed, but simply to disable her means of assault. (so, success.)

I told the projection that my grandmother was never one to lose control of her temper, and even less likely to resort to such a violent means. I begin telling her so and she changes mindsets, getting out of her crippled vehicle and becoming very apologetic for her behavior. I lose the dream around here.

Night 15

I was attending Hogwarts. (These HP dreams are gonna keep cropping up as I read through the series.) However we are in my dorm building, just its full of wizard classrooms instead of dorms and everyone is wearing wizard robes. The thing I remember was seeing and briefly talking with Harry, Ron and Hermoine before going to a magical class.

Fred and George Wesley had enchanted the toilets in people's dorms and classrooms to have teeth and literally bite you in the butt. The teeth look like those fake joke dentures that you wind up. Neville Longbottom got bit by one. There was some sort of bad pun here in that his last name was longbottom and he had been bit in the butt by a magical toilet.

NLD x2=2
WBTB x1=2

I did a WBTB.

I was helping my dad drop of stuff he'd sold on craigslist at a house in a neighborhood near my own IWL. I see a cat by the side of the road. While I am sitting with the van stopped in the passenger seat with the door open, the cat climbs in and sits on my lap and falls asleep purring. At first it is a big brown spotty tabby but changes to a small white cat with orange spots on its back and tail.

Night 16

I'm going to save most of this dream for my private journal, seeing as it was very erotic. The basic premise was a large, waist deep swimming pool inside a spa/resort complex. There is an equal number of male and female dream characters (8-10 of each). They are all about college age. (Unlike the dream from two nights ago that I didn't post that used an unwilling high school student.) Some are naked and those that aren't are wearing very tight and revealing swimsuits.

This is some kind of sex game, where the people walk in different directions around the pool for a set period of time while music plays. I guess then it's like musical chairs where you stop and get out of the pool to have sex with the person closest to you. I wasn't playing but I happened to walk into the game by accident without understanding what was going on and disrupted the male/female balance.

I then meet with this other woman who isn't playing the game, but hosting it. She has long wavy blonde hair and planet-sized boobs, sitting on the edge of a hot tub with men on either side of her. She is wearing a light green swimsuit, though the boys to either side are naked and rather 'excited' looking. I remember she didn't have the most pleasant of personalities, she seemed very angry that I had disrupted her game and did not up to her standards of physical attractiveness.

This big policeman guy wearing an opaque gray visor over his eyes came in. All of the dream characters started running and hiding.

"Okay, it's time to get lucid now..." I said.

While everyone else started running on the pool deck trying to get away, I walked toward the officer. He tried to pull his gun out, but with a swipe of my hand, telekinesis sent it flying from his grip and across the room. He then pulled out his tazer and shot it at me. I caught the prongs with my right hand. I saw the electrical shock coming down the wires (though it's not visible on tazers IWL it was in the dream.) When it hit my hand, I flicked the wire up and down and sent the electricity back, zapping the police guy's hand and making him drop the tazer.

I went up to fight him hand-to-hand. I went to punch him but he caught my punch and slammed me into the pool deck with enough force to smash the tiles. At this point I recognized that he was some kind of terminator/cyborg policeman. He then proceeded to sit on top of me and try to strangle me (this dream is just so wrong when you consider I was still naked.) I kicked him off with my fire jets and it sent him flying.

I flew up into the air, hovering above the swimming pool. I decided to try and see if I could conjure firebombs like Marcus said I could. I held out my hands and saw what looked like two or three mini fire tornadoes form and start expanding in size on either side. I figured I was just charging them and I had to release them to attack. I then started pulling backwards, seeing the backside of my body as I released the fire missiles and they shot on arching trajectories bombarding the robot policeman from all sides. I lost the dream and woke up.

NLD x1=1
DILD x1=10
Telekenisis x1=5
Misc dream control x1=5 (If redirecting a tazer back at the user counts as element manipulation, let me know.)
Fly x1=5
Gain Invunerablity x1=5 (If being smashed into a tile/concrete floor hard enough to crack it and feeling nearly nothing counts.)
Element Manipulation x1=10

Night 12

-If I remember I was with Tony the Tiger and Spellbee2 (portrayed as a full-size gray anthro cat wearing a green hoodie.) I think he carried a red device like a miniature laptop that also functioned as a cell phone. (I guess it was like the pokedex from that one version of his avatar.) We were all lost in the amazon rainforest. I remember the rainforest being very thick and impassable in some places, and in others, there were clearings full of a few short palm trees and tall grass.

Eventually, after some time skips and days and days of traveling we made our way to the edge of a city. Unfortunately, when we got there, we found out we had to cross a river to get to the city, and the only thing on our side of the river was a brick walkway.

The city had a guardian, a giant four-legged robot pod that would stride around over the buildings. It had very long legs and could walk through the river, and it carried us across. I then saw a whole bunch of dreamviews members in a big crowd watching someone that I did't recognize climbing up the side of a skyscraper. I think the dream became very focused on lucid dreaming and this might have been the portion where I got lucid, and I'm remembering things out of order.

-I was driving to Wal-Mart to get the Skyrim Special edition and for some reason taking my dad's van. I was somehow able to drive from the back seat of the van, but I decided while driving that I should climb over to the front seat so I could have better visibility and work the petals. There was some construction and lane changes coming up and while passing some equipment I struck a very old looking red van.

We pulled over into a parking lot. There was no damage to either of our cars except a wheel had come off of my dad's van. (Front driver side wheel.) I figured we didn't actually hit but the wheel came off and that was what felt like a crash.

Two people got out of the van. It was a tall middle age guy with long snow white hair slicked back and a shorter woman with curly white hair. The woman wanted to just stay calm since it clearly wasn't a bad accident but the man was ticked and he started yelling about how young drivers cause all the problems. I tried to get him to calm down saying there wasn't any damage to his car and he might as well get back on the road like nothing happened. But he just kept insulting me personally so I kicked him in the crotch. Then the guy wanted to fight me and tried to attack me, but he was bad at fighting and I beat him up. When the police did show up, the man's wife took my side and said she was going to divorce him if he kept acting so easily angered.

-+-

-I was trying to find the northernmost city in the world. It was some city built in Alaska. I wanted to drive there but someone said something about my car freezing. I got this vision of my car being buried in snow and that began to manifest itself as a dream, but I woke up.

-+-

-Whenever/wherever I got lucid, I was in an underground cavern with buildings built into the walls and ceiling, and a sort of paved floor with a fountain like a large plaza. I remember the first thing I did was fly. I flew around the cavern in a big circle, and landed back in my original place.

I then thought I could get more competition points by doing mind control. I looked at a little DC boy and pointed at him, and told him he would do a roundhouse kick. He obeyed and did one, but he almost kicked someone else by accident. His mom got mad at me and told me not to mind control him anymore. I said I wouldn't, and she walked off.

I for some reason then thought to do a reality check, I knew I could get points for it. So I did a really long nose pinch. Then Proceeded to stabilize by kneeling over and pounding on the stone floor tiles of the cavern with my fist.

...

I was at a modern looking house with a big swimming pool in the back of it, still lucid. Marcus was there.

...

I was back at the cavern location, but I remember it feeling brighter. I summoned Manei and I saw a random girl in the crowd twitch, drop what she was doing and turn and come to me. She looked nothing like the dream guide I know, at least on the outside. Apparently she had decided to try taking over another DC instead.

I asked her if she could now shape-shift to something close to her usual appearance. She seemed reluctant to do so, but when she tried, she made a loud noise like computer static and I saw her become translucent, and her body parts detached and jumped to different positions before reforming sans the right leg, that was just a skin-covered stump. She fell over. Then her right arm became translucent, her fingers, palm of her hand, and elbow detached. Each one transformed into a black dice with white dots that fell to the ground.

She said she had made a mistake. Marcus said something about how you should never try to take over someone's body and try to shapeshift since normal dream characters' bodies can't shapeshift it will cause problems and destabilize them. Manei said there was a magical focal point 3000 feet to the north that I could use to repair her.

"Compass Now!"

I stomped on the ground and splintered the concrete floor of the cavern with cracks radiating in the cardinal directions. About 10 or 15 feet out the cracks turned 90 degrees and formed a circle with the NESW directions represented with their usual letter. I saw north was directly ahead through a door and picked her up.

I ran through a door and was in the hallway of my high school. It was crowded and I turned on my zero friction skates. I was able to skate along the side of the wall (ignoring standard physics) to avoid the crowd. I then went through a gymnasium. I got to the magical focal point that was inside of a small bathroom on the far side of the gym, and I got to the bathroom just before someone else did.

When I got in there I flushed the toilet and a purple beam of light shot out of it. I saw a white eyeball in the light. It was Ateria, the spirit guardian of one of my original characters in the dream. Manei said that I was fast enough for her to return to her form but not fast enough for the dream to not destabilize. I saw things get dark. She told me to come back soon and I lost the dream.

Night 12:

NLD x3=1
DILD x1=10
RC x1=1
DC interact x1=2
Fly =5
Mind Control =5
(Okay I'm putting the summon down as DC changing for 10. Figures Manei would find a way to make scoring murky.) =5+5 for DG 'summon'
Unspecified Dream Control (compass creation) =5
Super Speed =5

Night 13

I recall being lucid. I was in what looked like the doctors room you wake up in in the beginning of Fallout New Vegas. Manei came in carrying beers and she said that she wanted me to kill her father because he dressed up like a cowboy and she didn't like cowboys. I replied pretty annoyed saying (exact words I believe) "Im not killing someone for such a stupid reason." But I was thinking through what she was requesting. I've interacted with her mother at least one time that I can recall, but it was long long ago, and I think she also has twin younger brothers, but this is the first time I've heard of her father.

I didn't like the implication of killing someone supposedly related to my dream guide even though I was thinking deeply about lucidity and recognized that as a dream guide, she is just an aspect of me and therefore shouldn't technically have a family at all, but the dream can still symbolize it as such.

Apparently it wound up being one of her dream guide tests of character and I passed. Also the beers wound up being filled with water and she wasn't actually drunk. I also remember seeing her father (wearing the cowboy outfit nonetheless) come into the room. I don't remember too much of what he looked like outside of he was a huge man, but friendly.

I honestly don't see how these make any sense anymore. Since she is really just an aspect of me, I'm telling myself. No more dream guide tests. Ever. Unless I ask for more.

DILD x1=10
DC interact x1=2