April 16, 2010 Synopsis: My reality checks fail to help me realize I'm dreaming. But after falling out of a window I finally become lucid. Lucidity Denial! I had a dream about me and my cousins, bugs, birthday parties, cake and deciding whether to eat with plastic utensils or real silverware. I woke up, and I was going to write down the dream in detail. But I just fell asleep instead. (that happens a lot ) I'm outside in a parking lot, and some guy has a really nice futuristic motorcycle. He sees me eyeing at it and he yells at me. "What do you think you're doing! You can't ride my bike!". I back away from his motorcycle, giving him some space, and I just explain I just wanted to look at it. I don't even know how to ride one! I just think Japanese motorcycles are pretty. But then he laughs "Nah I'm just kidding, you can ride it!" I'm hesitant but then its clear NOT riding his bike would insult him. Really, he practically bullied me to test ride his sweet bike. I take it for a quick test ride, but only around the parking lot, and only at parking lot speeds! The handling of the motorcycle is a bit weird. The kind of weird that only happens in dreams. I always miss this sign. I thank him and go back inside to what should be a store. But it's my bedroom instead. I don't remember all of the events, but it's like I spend the whole morning with my sisters. A very 'normal' morning. Suddenly I get this strange feeling. Something feels.....wrong.....off. But I can't explain it. I ask my sister if she feels weird, and she just shrugs. I look outside the window, and then I think "What if I'm dreaming?". I look all around me and at the trees and green things growing outside. I shake my head. "No that's impossible!" I tried to recall my day. I remember waking up from a dream about my cousins. And I remember.....eating breakfast. Everything seemed normal, even me testing out a strangers motorcycle at the time seemed normal. But for some reason, I can't stop myself inching closer and closer to the window. And I just want to jump so badly! One part of my mind is screaming I'm dreaming, the other part is begging my sister to help me stop my insanity before I hurt myself. I fall out the window. I'm drifting slowly, and peacefully, to the ground wondering if it's going to hurt. But then the wind carries me up and over the trees and I'm happy to be lucid and flying and dreaming! I soar over the tree tops. But then suddenly I end up in a weird dream landscape. Boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes of toy dinosaurs in packaging! I didn't like this dream scene. So I grab a box and I try to enter the painted picture on the box. Very briefly I enter a primal world where the dinosaur toys came to life. But the dream was unstable and I woke up. This time for real, I think (and if you're reading this, you could be dreaming!)
April 5, 2010 Synopsis: In two different dreams I question if I am dreaming, but the dream keeps fooling me! Night Time Note: I wake up! I remember my first dream of the night. But by the time I grab my pen, roll over to jot down on my pad - I don't understand it. My logical mind didn't understand the dream and I could see the memory of it just fading. I close my eyes and struggle to retain the memory in some way I can understand it. I quickly write with my eyes closed "Know landscape is weird?". I vaguely remember talking to someone about a landscape. This person pointed out to me that this landscape is weird. This person seemed to understand that this was a dream! Dreams That Fool Me In the next dream....I was at school again. This time I had worked hours on a lengthy project. My teacher sneers at it, muttered something disrespectful and walked away. I felt deflated! I could never please this teacher . As the class starts to critique I'm lost thinking in my head "What if this was all a dream?". I put my hand on the wall, and I pressed up against it just to feel how solid it was. And I kept sighing, "If only it was a dream! That would be so sweet. I hate this class!" I shake my head instead and tell myself, I'm only wishing that it is a dream. I woke up shortly after deciding it was all real. You bet I woke up annoyed! I had another dream that also fooled me. As I walked home I magically had two Kitties! Kitty number one runs indoors, but Kitty number two is running around outside. I try to chase her down to bring her inside where it's nice and safe, but I lose her. Oh well, I least I still have Kitty number one. It goes completely over my head that there should only be..ONE Kitty. Something is very strange. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I know something is very strange. I question if I am dreaming. I turn on the light switch. At first it did nothing. Then after a long time, the light finally turned on. I knew that switches worked strange in dreams, but I told myself this is normal because we've got some bad electrical wiring that really does cause a delay. This is a difficult reality check for me. (In the waking I have to try several times to turn on the bathroom light.) I go to my room, but I feel even weirder in here. Claustrophobic! I also have trouble seeing, it's so foggy in my room. I feel really uncomfortable and go back to the living room. I tell myself I'm just being paranoid since I'm home alone. I'm writing in my journal, and again I question if this is a dream, because something feels wrong. I recheck what I wrote, but it's perfectly normal. I can read it just fine and I can reread it again! I tell myself, if this really was a dream it wouldn't be possible. Writing is weird in dreams right? But I kept holding the pen in my hand and examining it, something was odd but I couldn't figure out why. Mom comes home and tells me she saw Kitty outside. But it goes over my head. Instead I start complaining that I can't see in my room. She checks out my room and confirms she can't get the lights to work at all. She described my room as being 'foggy'. To hear someone else call my room foggy, something in my silly head starts to click! I must be dreaming! Just as I become lucid I wake up. I'm disorientated, I don't recognize this room at all. Where am I? I try to recall if I'm spending the night some where, but I don't remember visiting anyone last night. My gay uncle comes in the room and I become fixated on his bright green fingernails! It's the color I've been trying to become in my dreams. I wake up shortly after, annoyed the FA fooled me. But remembering something is better than remembering nothing.
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