Recent DJ Posts

I had a dream that my close friend Rachael and a close guy friend Patrick that I really liked were cuddling together, just holding each other. I walked in and tried to get into the bed, too, but they wouldn't make room for me, and ignored me while they continued to cuddle, her resting on his chest, him stroking her long, blond hair. They looked at each other with so much love in their eyes, obviously cherishing holding each other. I felt jealous of her.
I laid down on the foot of the bed, deciding I'd just settle for being near him. As soon as I'd settled in, they sat up and pushed me out of the bed.
The love in their eyes was gone, replaced by loathing and contempt.
"Just go away!" she said. "Nobody likes you." She smiled at me in the same way a lioness smiles with pride over her kill.
"Yeah, get lost," he sneered. The look of disgust and hatred in his eyes tore my heart to pieces. They both laughed at me. I got up and headed for the door, tears in my eyes, while they continued to cuddle. How could he look at me with so much hatred and anger, and then look at her with gentle, loving eyes? I was so upset, my heart split in two and bleeding in pain.
"Fine," I said, stopping in the doorway and turning around. "If you both hate me so much, I'll just go die."
"Good," he said, not even taking his eyes off of her. "You'll be doing the world a favor."
And the I ran out of the room, crying, my heart hurting so bad I almost couldn't bear the pain. I sat on the floor in another room, sobbing for what seemed like hours, until they walked in. They smiled at me and acted like nothing was wrong, and after a while they left, their hands intertwined; they stopped in the doorway, him leaning in towards her, her lips puckered and her eyes closed...
That's when I woke up, sobbing and shaking, my heart breaking. In a panicked daze, I was terrified that my nightmare was real, that he loved her and not me, that she had taken his heart, and I cried even harder. By the time I had realized it was just a dream, I was still crying, and I laid in bed for hours, too afraid to go back to sleep.

(This was a nightmare I had earlier this year, I can't remember when, but it really bothered me a lot. I wish I knew how to lucid dream so I could stop experiences like this; sadly, all my attempts have failed.)