Tonight, I got 7.5 hours of sleep, the perfect amount of sleep according to REM cycles. It was the deepest sleep I have ever had I think due to a combination of lack of sleep in the days prior and the sheer amount of walking and activity I did last night due to the pledge activities. I need to summarize what happened because I don't have any time. Dream #1: Re-rush This dream was basically set back in the fall, at night time. I am outside for all of this dream and at first I'm with the pledge people I know, but then I go over to TKE and start enjoying what they have to offer there. Except the guys don't like me and they want to beat me up. One guy says he's going to flip a coin and if it's a certain side (that I don't know) then they will all hit me. I'm scared and they eventually flip the coin, but somehow I teleport away and call Mr. Guirguis on my cell phone. We are talking about whether I can go back to AGO and rush there. As this is happening, I'm walking in the middle of all the people at AGO. They are sitting in a line of chairs and I am walking literally on the armrests of the chairs, over them. Eventually he says ask them yourself. So I kneel down on one knee and I say I humble myself before you and ask if I can come to your fraternity. They all say yes and I am elated. Dream 2: Me and someone I can't remember are driving in this car/convertible without a top. The sun is in the distance and its almost getting blocked by a mountain. It looks picturesque, and isn't blinding to look at. Dream 3: I am in a restaurant, thinking to myself. Basically passobs as some woman walks by me and totally doesn't look at me at all, but continually looks in the direction of her husband. I think to myself how married woman don't even look at younger boys and lust after them. They are totally focused on their relationships. I look over to another booth to see the men looking around and the woman leaning in and trying to talk to one of the men. I continue to think about this as the scene turns black Dream 4: I am watching this hot anime girl have sex. I become lucid and I try to immediately get a threesome, but I don't stabilize the dream or anything, so it fades really fast as I notice that in my real body I am starting to orgasm from what would normally be a wet dream. Dream 5: I have a dream that gives me the realization that my life on this planet isn't significant, just like humans aren't significant to the universe. I see how my "ego" totally consumes my reality and tells me stories through the use of language. Dream 6: Mr. Holmlund and Ochoseis fight in a room with other people from AGO. They are fighting on the side of a bed. They throw punches but neither connect and Ocho is starting to get very very mad.
Dream 1-- Lucid #9 I am waiting outside of the guest room in my house for my friend Blake, from high school. He is inside the room, speaking to me while roll around this piece of luggage I found. Somehow I am in this enclosed room that is four walls in a square shape surrounding me with two doors on the front and back wall. The suitcase is large and dark green, the room is dim without any lights and the doors are white. My dad is home and he calls up something to me. I don't remember the words but I walk over to the computer room on the other side of my staircase. Sitting in the bench that was normally present, I look over because I can clearly see the guest room door. I am just sitting and staring, waiting for something to happen. I don't really care what in particular because I am bored and restless. Then, my ex-gf walks out of the door and doesn't even look at me. She is busy talking to five other people who are also coming out of the door. These are tall white guys and hot white girls. I am still sitting watching how they are talking casually about bringing over alcohol. I get the impression there is going to be a party at my house, and I remember that my dad is home which prompts me to get up and walk over to them. I stand right next to this tall white guy and confront him. I don't remember the conversation exactly, but I remember that I was surprisingly composed and confident considering I had to look up to talk to the guy. I don't know he if he ever gave a reasonable reply, but I turn around and walk away to go down my back stairs. As I walk down the stairs, I look to my right and see a whole group of people sitting in the dark and looking at me. Their eyes are wide open focused on my soul it feels like. Some of them have glow in the dark beads and sticks. Other's have whiter eyes that have a sort of glow to them. I turn and continue to walk down the stairs for one step and then suddenly realize that I am running away from these characters and that I have a choice to stand up. Immediately I conclude that I am in a dream and I walk back up a couple of stairs. I look at their faces and say "I love you all." I feel so happy, like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I remember that I am in a dream and have to stabilize the dream so I spin around. Everything turns into a blur as I spin. Once I start spinning I can't seem to stop. All the people fade away into darkness. The dream is slipping away as I spin and I don't know how to get it back. I get the painful feeling that I am about to wake up regardless of what I do next. Then, I feel this amazing taste in the right side of my mouth. I try to hold on and focus to that sensation. It's a tingle that reminds me of a certain flavor dessert, and I never want it to go away. As I desperately try to cling to that sensation, all other feeling is lost. My vision turns to black, I become deaf, and suddenly I reawaken in my bed Dream 2-- Peer Pressure I wake up in a bed in an unfamiliar room. It's large, with windows that look out to the street, three black couches that surround a table with a TV at the fourth side of the square. I walk over to the couches because I see two people already sitting down on the right side couch. I sit down in the middle couch, directly facing the TV. The two people to the right of me are talking about smoking weed, one of them is actually my next door neighbor in the dorms. They light up a small piece and I immediately get uncomfortable. I feel like I should leave or do something to avoid smoking because I really don't want to. I don't look around I don't move I don't say anything. I just sit there, paralyzed, and wait. Eventually they pass the piece and a lighter to me. Now I'm more nervous than ever. There are extra people who have suddenly appeared on the left couch, watching me also. There is a force in me screaming DON'T DO IT. LEAVE. STOP RIGHT NOW YOU WILL REGRET THIS. Then there is the inertia. The force of smoking in a rotation, having people expect you to follow in the flow of the social environment. I gave in to this force and immediately felt horrible. I felt so shitty, in my head I reminded myself how now I would have to tell people I haven't drank for 6 months but I smoked weed yesterday. Suddenly, we are transported into a card. I am still caught up in my mental chatter about how disappointed I am in myself and how I can't bring myself to admit to other people how weak I am for allowing these people to tell me what to do against my will. My neighbor is talking and talking about how he is going to change his name and do this and that. He is a disembodied voice. I am just listening to what he is saying while staring out the windshield, watching as we enter on the tollway ramp. Dream 3-- Sandler's New Movie I am the passive observer camera for Adam Sandler's new movie. I don't know the title or anything, but I am thrown into this scene as just the camera. I watch as the main character, who is some domineering, sex-craving, megalomaniac talk to this woman. They are having a conversation at a table and somehow the topic of misrepresentation comes up. She asks him what the swastika represents and he says a man raping a woman. I tried to imagine the figure in my head, and somehow I came up with the same conclusion. The main character stands up and is talking to Sandler in the hallway of the office. I see behind the man a giant series of windows that overlook the city. There are giant posters on the windows of movies and famous, beautiful actresses. I can't remember specifics.
Dream 1-- Dinosaur at school This dream is a recurring theme that I have noticed. Before, I had a dream in my house that I was being pursued by a T-rex. It was following me and leaving a path a wreckage behind. Somehow, I managed to trick it and found the time to exit the front door. The dream didn't stop there, I could see and hear the dinosaur continuing to wreck the house from the inside while I was safe outside. There were other dreams involving me getting chased to no end, but this dinosaur figure has been the most prominent and I think it suggests the helpless feeling my repressed "anima" has. I'll explain the dream and then get more into the hypothesis. So I'm on this beautiful campus, which isn't really campus but is large, filled with people, and has tall buildings, walking around and minding my own business. I don't know how it started, but as I look behind me, there is this T-rex that is chasing me. I become immediately scared and start to run. The T-rex is this huge black/dark green figure and it's growls are more like screeches. No one else on campus seems to notice me running for my life or the giant dinosaur that is chasing me. I am mostly running on concrete, dodging these tall glass buildings that the dinosaur either runs into or just avoids. As I come to a clearing, I realize it is a nice day. There is a giant grassy quad with a singular building at the end of it. I decide to make a run for it. I see people scattered around, but that doesn't concern me. I don't think to tell anyone or look at anybody because I'm too scared. I don't think to ask for help. I run along this pathway that leads straight to the front doors, which are tall glass doors with metal bars that you pull to open. There is a man wearing all white and a white hat standing at what seems like the front desk for a hotel. It's this pristine marble counter that glistens in the sun. The guy looks at me and smiles, but I have no time. I start running up this ramp made out of the same marble. There are silver bars one either side but I just disregard them. As I am running up what appears to be a square-like spiral, I have this sense that I have a "mini-map" function in my head. I can sense where the dinosaur is in relation to me and I can tell where other people are. I can see all of this in a little icon that is similar to the one in WoW. Sprinting, I get more and more nervous as I see this green circle approaching my location. When I get to the top of the ramps, there is just a platform high above the ground. I look out to the quad where I started, and I see the dinosaur starting to head my way and the people walking around not even noticing. I panic and start to have an enormous feeling of dread. Not only did all my efforts fail, they ended up trapping me in this huge glass death box that now I can't escape from. Although I put myself up high, I separated myself from everyone and now I am forced to face the dinosaur without any chance of escape. This dream says a lot to me about my subconscious and how it feels. The dinosaur represents my tyrannical parents, whose influence had to be avoided by my ego. My ego was running and running, overlooking other people and not explaining the problem to anybody because it seemed like they don't care or want to know, they are all occupied with their own lives. It finds this tall building, perhaps the salvation promised by reason and study and self-reflection. As I enter the building, I see this man in white who is smiling at me. This symbol is perhaps the key feature that will unlock whatever problem this dream represents. He could be a Dream Guide figure, who will know exactly how to stop the monster and save me from the pursuit or he could represent the character I want to achieve through the house of reason. I want to be this pure figure to other people, who smiles and is like the hotel clerk. So I struggle (seen by climbing up the ramps) to keep this facade and build up this persona, but the dinosaur knows exactly where I am and this persona actually ends up leading to an easier demise because I cannot escape. Interestingly, the building is made out of glass, so I can see out of it and look at the other people who are free, but I can also see the dinosaur. Perhaps this glass structure represents my own ability to see my dilemma clearly. I have a "window into the soul" so to speak. I feel like this dream indicates my need for either a dream guide or more serious self-reflection on my childhood. This dinosaur figure is truly bothersome and would require me to man up and become a hero in order to defeat it. Dream 2-- DotA revamped I used to play this game on Warcraft III for the PC called Defense of the Ancients. I don't feel like explaining it in any detail. Anyway, the game starts from the player setup and the graphics are amazing. The loading screen is a series of accented letters, such as several forms of A, one with a squiggly above it, one with a circle, etc., and these letters are accompanied by sound effects and a glow on the screen. The game starts, and I am dark green. I don't know how to play this version at all because it is totally new and revamped. The controls are the same, but the hero selection and item choices are all different. Once again, instead of asking people for help, I just try and figure out the entire landscape on my own. I first scroll through the players and see what color I am, which is indicated by a blue x in a rectangle of dark green. Everyone else on my team has picked their hero at this point. Suddenly, on my screen I am presented with a huge list of possible choices for a hero. I decide to pick shiney because I feel like I know exactly who that is from my previous experience playing in the old version and I want to be sneaky for the first part of the game and figure out what's going on. My hero appears as a zergling, along with everyone else's, and I go through the various shops to try and buy items. I only get to buy two things that seem rather irrelevant, and I am forced to go into my lane (which is the top lane) because the creeps have spawned. As I walk up, I am prepared for battle, and I know an enemy hero will be coming. I only get to my first tower when I run into the opponent and a massive swarm of creeps. He uses some form of poison cloud and it instantly kills me. I respawn really fast, run back up and then get attacked by all the creeps, who surround me and claw at me until I die again. As I am dead, I pan around the map to my allies to see what items they bought. I click on blue, and see he has a trinket that makes him invulnerable to poison (which would have been helpful) and five other items. He is killing the creeps with efficiency and not dying at all. There is also red but I don't have time to click on him. When I quit, I come back into "reality" (which is still a dream) of looking at my computer which I shut off. I am not in the usual location that I would play my computer. I am in the upstairs library of my house facing a window. Suddenly, I get a pang of nervousness and anxiety that I haven't done any of my homework that I should have been doing and have been procrastinating. I walk to my room, which is right next door, and fall on my comfy bean bag chair. I look at a folder, but don't actually get anything done. I wake up. Dream 3-- Classes and Mr. Gunin I'm back on this campus with glass buildings, but there is no dinosaur. Instead, it seems like I'm going to and from classes, entering and leaving different buildings and talking to different people. As I walk into this one class, we watch an episode of south park on a screen. I go into PassObs and get enveloped in the show as I watch it, but I can't remember exactly what the episode was about. Suddenly, I am walking out of the glass building. I am outside on top of a small concrete passageway between two glass buildings. It appears as if it just rained due to the slippery and reflective nature of the ground. I decide to untuck my shirt and untie my shoes because I am dressed pretty formally. I have a dark blue button-down, grey pants and a dark belt, and dress shoes. As I walk through the next door, I see three of my friends, who run up and start talking to me. They ask me about class, and I tell them we watched south park. They ask what episode, and it occurs to me that I don't remember specifically but I still try and explain it because I have a feeling that I will know what to say. I am stuttering horribly, however, and can't even recall the names of the different characters. I am consciously trying to recall them, and I can see pictures of their faces in my head even in my dream! I decide the one dressed in orange with the green hat is named Kyle, and I start to explain how the four boys were skiing. One of my friends takes the cue and asks if it was the episode where, and he goes on a long explanation of the episode. I don't know exactly but I am like yea that's totally it. I start to walk away, and I am walking to the left of a nice looking lounge area. There is a black couch and two black leather chairs all facing a table and all on top of a carpet. As I am about to exit the building, I see Mr. Gunin walking on the other side of the door because it's made of glass. I become really self-conscious that my shirt is untucked and my shoes are untied because Mr. Gunin was the head of upper school and would hand out detentions for uniform violations. He smiles and says Hey Jay Max, his usual greeting and walks through the door. I go into PassObs thinking about how stupid I must look and whether I should fix my clothing. Dream 3 (Fragment)-- New Dorm Room I'm walking around this new dorm room, that is much larger than the one I am currently in and honestly looks nothing like this one. There is a bunk bed on the far left of the room, and I apparently sleep on the top bunk. I walk around just noticing different things. The floor is carpeted, there is an opening to another room that seems to lack furniture and is just an open space with window light shining through. As I walk toward my bed, I notice that there is a list of questions on a laminated sheet of paper hanging from my bed. These questions are review questions for the final exam that basically ask everything that was on the test. I get really mad/sad thinking that if this was here the whole time I would have easily passed the test so I must be stupid for overlooking this and I try to convince myself that there is no way that could have been there because I would have seen it. This internal debate makes me go PassObs and I wake up. Dream 4-- I'm Bo Yo I hear the song I'm Bo Yo being sung by Bo Burnham in my head. I am on the backstair case of my house. As I am looking at the wall, I see a framed piece of paper that has some of the lyrics on it, but they are all wrong. As I listen to the song he sings, I try to sing along, thinking I know what he is going to say, but he actually comes up with either an entirely new rhyme or I'm just stupid. Not being able to sing along brings me into PassObs and I drift out of the dream. Dream 5-- Jerusalem Mystery This dream was really long and complex. It was almost as if me and my dad were in a movie together and we were solving the crime as it was happening. This would make sense because my dad, whenever we watch movies, will always lean towards me and tell me exactly what he thinks will happen in the next scene or who the bad guy is or some other prediction, and it always annoys me how often he is right. I just sit and watch while he solves the crime. My passive role appears clearly in this dream, where we are going from place to place trying to collect clues and evidence, but my dad is doing all the work while I just watch and follow along. The plot of the dream was really cool. We were detectives trying to solve the crime of a million dollars being stolen. I don't remember the whole dream due to it's length, but there is this one location in the dream that occurred twice. We are standing on this wooden dock, looking out at this lake, and there is various baggage floating on top of the water. It's a weird occurrance, but we don't know what to do about it. As we gather more evidence, we realize that the criminal is trying to blow up this city and escape to Jerusalem with his million dollars, which are locked away securely in those pieces of luggage! We immediately return to the luggage and jump in the water, but we have to tread shallowly because we know that there are bombs directly underneath us. As we near the baggage, I blink and suddenly everything changes. In front of me is another dock, which I get on top of soaking wet. I am on a floating platform a little bit above the water, and I see my dad standing on the actual pier which is separated by a ladder. I climb the ladder, and walk down the pier, but realize I don't know where I am anymore. I look back to the platform on the water, and see that there are two people on it now, N. Whit and a girl. I walk back over and try to climb down the ladder, when I realize I am no longer wearing a shirt. Climbing down is really hard, but I manage it and once I reach the bottom the dream ends.
Dream 1-- Peter Breaks my computers I am in my room. I am on my huge bean bag chair (called a LoveSac) and I am typing on my laptop. I have a huge blanket over me so that I can only see a sliver of reality, the rest is blocked out by the blanket. As I am typing, I look above my computer because I hear a noise coming from my bathroom. I concentrate really hard on the little space that I can see in my bathroom without moving. I have these thoughts running through my mind like who could it be, what could be happening, and I think I come up with a scenario in my head that ends up being real. I continue to stare at the open space for about a minute, suddenly there is a shadowy figure that I see pass from left to right. It startles me, but I try not to move, thinking that if its a burglar or something he will come out side and not be able to tell I am underneath the blanket. I wait, and I see him pushing a black box to the side and messing with some wires behind it. Randomly, I get an insight that this is Peter and he is going to throw my computer out of the window. I get up quickly and jump out of one of the windows furthest from the bathroom. I am now outside, there is snow around here but I do not feel cold. I see a black fence to the left of me and the brick building I just jumped out of to the right. If I continue to look straight, I see piles of snow on the ground all the way down the aisle until it turns into a large square courtyard at the end of the brick building. As I am looking ahead, I see my computer smashing out of the window and crashing to the ground. I run over to the computer, and verify that it is mine. Then I have this flash of insight that he must see my laptop and will throw it out the other window. So I run over but he jumps out of the window and tries to fight me. He looks really evil, but he also looks very normal. At this point I am super pissed actually. I am really angry, I throw two kicks to the stomache that both land, but don't seem to do anything, and then he charges forward, but I kick a third time and land one to the face. There is a "thud" sound as my blow lands. He says 'when you kick me it sounds like "omph"' I get more angry because I can't seem to punch or kick very hard. We fight for a while but he isn't landing any blows on me, I just feel like I am getting lucky. I will kick him twice in the stomache again, and he rushes forward right into a kick to the face. Once I do that combo twice, he runs back into my room, and I immediately realize he is going to throw my laptop out. I sprint over and as he pushes the laptop out the window I push it back into the room. Then I start screaming and crying at him like "How could you do this at this time? We have been friends for so long why are you fucking everything up? I hate you" I can barely get the words out of my mouth because I am screaming so loudly and the crying is clogging up my throat. I keep trying to speak, but I evenutally can't anymore and I wake up. Dream 2-- Mall Cop Busts Me My mom and I are walking through a mall. We are trying to get to the school talent show, so we are trying t o hurry. As we are hurriedly walking, I see a path that goes straight and two paths that curve a little to the outside around a counter. These two counters on either side of the straight path appear to be the cash register and check out line for a store, but I don't want to waste the time. At the other end of the counter, I see three men standing there talking. A flash of insight makes me think that they are the owners of this little store, and they all look over at me and I approach the straight path. At first, I feel kind of embarrassed and stupid for walking straight when I have the feeling that it would be trouble, but inertia and the sense that I need to get to the show quick makes me just go straight anyways. When I approach the end of the counters, a mall cop to my left says something like "You can't walk through there" and I say something snappy in return like "I just did" The mall cop doesn't like that response and tells me to come with him. We walk over to this corner where there are 4 chairs and a podium arranged so that if you are looking at it head on it appears to be an upside down U with 2 chairs making one vertical line, 2 chairs making the top, and the podium making the second vertical line. The cop starts filling out a form or something. Then, a really hot girl walks by me gets about 1-2 ft in front of me, and turns around. She is gorgeous. blonde, a little short, blue eyes, white, freckles, white teeth, necklace, brown overcoat, pink shirt, Jeans. We start talking and she isn't breaking eye contact with me the whole time and we are both just smiling while we speak. I see her brother come in out of the corner of my eye, and he starts talking to her. Then this third guy comes over and starts hitting on the girl. I am still standing the in the same place this whole time and just looking at the hot girl. As the third guy tries to talk to her, the brother walks in really close to the girl like he is telling her a secret with his whole body, and then moves himself inbetween the girl and the guy, but I'm still able to talk to the girl freely. Then the cop says "fill this out." I turn around facing the podium and now my mom is to the left of me. I see that there are random scribblings on the sheet, so I don't really do anything specific but it ends up letting us go. We start walking away. Dream 3-- Piano Talent Show As we walk away, we pass through a door way. There is secondary blackness and then I find myself carrying a piano into the backstage room for the talent show at my school. It's in Dechard Theater and through the side stage doors I can see my wrestling coach and some other people that are just crowded in there. I lug my keyboard and stand in there and walk a little toward the back. Then the person in front of me in order finishes, and I go out on stage. I walk rather slow and don't really look to the side. I'm starting to feel really nervous and I have this feeling like I haven't practiced anything. My whole mind is blank. I plug in the keyboard to this outlet on the side of a huge cube. I walk over to the piano, look out at the audience and start playing. I don't know what I am doing at all, it sounds really horrible, but somehow I am taking pleasure from playing this badly. I close my eyes and start to play. I don't even know if I am hitting the keys anymore but I can vividly hear the music in my head. It sounds really familiar to me because I would play the exact song whenever I was just messing around on my keyboard. I play for maybe 1 minute. I think that I am doing pretty good but it must seem rather novice compared to some others, luckily I am not making mistakes though. I'm trying so hard not to show any emotion this whole time. I don't smile, I don't get sad, I don't do anything except clench my jaw I think. I feel like it gets really hot and my face might've gotten red. At the end of the minute, I open my eyes and stop playing. No one applauds, and it's kind of awkward. So I unplug my keyboard and go backstage. I see Lyle and he gives me a smirk that seems like he is going to laugh at me. I just keep walking and don't pay attention. I see another guy and the same thing happens. Then I stand so that I can see out the side doors and watch the next performer. As I am watching H. Huffines perform, Frisen starts talking to me. He is a little taller than me and he is standing to my left. After talking to him for 10 seconds, we are suddenly driving in his car. I still have to do the same motion to talk to him/look at him but now we are driving down a road. We start having friendly conversation, but I get massively PassObs and in my head about what we are talking about. I feel like the conversation is getting awkward, I don't really know what to talk about. I am listening to how he is responding to me and his silences freak me out and make me feel really awkward. We pull up to these two black poles that are just sitting in the middle of the road. We realize we cant pass them without getting in the left lane, so he backs up and then goes into the left lane. I don't remember what happens after that. FA-- Dean texts and Sullivan talks I false awaken on the coach I'm sleeping on, and I get this text message saying how facebook is totally closed down except for the Blair Account, which I interpret to mean Blair Witch and that it's a secret. I get this message from Dean and I want to respond back what he is talking about or what the account is, but J. Sullivan comes up and starts talking to me. I can barely see his face over the couch, but we are having a conversation. He keeps pacing back and forth during our conversation while I am just looking in the same place not moving at all. I get massively PassObs because of my immobility, and the same thing happens like the other conversations, things start to go black and I wake up for real. Dream Fragment 4- College Class Gone crazy I am sitting in a college classroom at the back right corner of the room. There is one guy sitting next to me and there are other people spread out all over the room sitting in chairs facing away from me and toward the teacher at the front. The teacher is describing some concept, and everyone looks bored as shit. When I realize that everyone looks bored, they all start to freak out and do the craziest shit. One guy knocks a whole bunch of materials off a table and then he jumps into a wall. Others start drinking and putting on costumes. As all of this is happening, I am just not moving, and observing and thinking to myself whether I am being ethical by not doing anything so if there are any ethics at all. I am having this massive debate in my head, which is the main symptom of PassObs, and things turn black and I wake up.
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