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Morning of November 24, 2014. Monday.



I am back at my older sister Marilyn’s house in La Crosse and trying to get her to appear by calling out to her to show herself (having the understanding that she had died yet also still potentially present in certain supraconscious dream realms, perhaps). I am semi-lucid in an atypical way; not in a more coherent sense. In one sense, it is vaguely like some sort of soliloquy-like seance. Over time, my sister does not walk from the other room as I expect her to even though I vaguely sense her presence on the other side of the darkened doorway. I am trying not to project my frustration as there is a growing realization she does not exist anymore, yet at the same time I sense her unwillingness to come out. However, there is no stronger focus on mortality by that point. (I have had very similar dream scenes in the past but usually tulpa-based, not related to real people either living or deceased.)

Eventually, three cats enter the house somehow (possibly through the open front door). One of the cats seems to be one which my family presently has (though had supposedly died in my dream’s back story weeks before). It is Franco, a black and white male cat. The other two cats are more like miniature leopards in one way but still with domestic cat attributes including the body proportions. From here, my dream goes into some distorted scenes where my perception is badly skewed.

I falsely “remember” that these were my sister’s two cats. Somehow (also an in-dream false memory) they died around the same time she did, which is supposedly related to something unexplainable (relative to “mutual deaths” which stems from real-life ideas of the past where a sister’s neighbor died and then their otherwise healthy spouse died shortly thereafter, supposedly out of grief). However, at the same time, there is a highly ambiguous idea that they are still alive (but Franco had been partly made sick by them as well) and had caused sickness in other people (in turn causing their death) by biting or scratching them (again, a false memory as the other people reflected upon other than my sister are still alive). Again, this is directly related to the two “leopard cats” (possible association with leprosy as well as the pet hybrid bobcat attack I experienced in my youth). They are not very aggressive (they seem to be mostly just playful though do attempt to “hunt” based on my body’s movement), but I want to completely avoid contact with them as they are seemingly venomous. I am aware of mild pressure on my body at times but I do not seem to actually be bitten at any point. (This seems partially related to a “struggle” with the bed sheet and an attempt to get my real physical body into a more comfortable position.)

I go to the couch, slowly going back into a semi-lucid state, and am on my knees on the floor at that point, my head near the seat of the couch. However, there is not that much coherence even though my general awareness is slowly sharpening. I then go into an odd state that is quite rare, where I attempt to “spit out” my dream while still in it before I fully wake. It takes about three attempts in making sure my dream’s environment does not “enter” my waking essence (the opposite of healing dreams where I intentionally carry facets of my dream’s energy into waking life). I do not seem to recall reading about this sort of dream experience, other than some supposed healers in real life spitting out the essence of what they supposedly take out of their patients. On another note, this dream setting near the couch is the exact spot of one of the only times in my life I have been ill in this manner in real life (from one of the only times in my life that I drank alcohol).

In waking life I've been sick with nasal and chest congestion and a sore throat. This led me to dream that I was in a hospital room as a bystander during something that had doctors and nurses together in a room.

I had a "What is this shit in my mouth, and when I get it out, why does more manifest?" dream. I was spitting in a sink in the hospital room trying to get this nasty, stringy crap out of my mouth. It was all between my lips/cheeks and teeth like cotton from the dentist's office, or dip in the lip of a red-neck.

I didn't want the doctor's to think I was going to throw up, so naturally the doctor said, "If your going to throw up..." I don't remember if he said "...go ahead and do it" or "don't do it there" or what, but he knew something was up.

I wasn't going to throw up, but I did take my fingers and start pulling the crap out of my mouth. I never saw it, but the junk in my mouth was red and looked stringy like muscle or something. Blah!

Finally, my dream changed to where I was looking at a tilting table with a piece of paper like from a straw. At the top, it was a little wider and ovular. It was kind of like straws that some restaurants used to have with a tiny spoon at the end, but it was all paper.

It was poorly taped to the tilted table, and by dream logic, it was Neo from The Matrix born prematurely.
I fixed the tape job because he was about to slide off the table.