Thread: Most Important Lesson You Have Learned

This is my ten commandments I've learned so far. These are the deepest lessons I think life can teach you.

1. Don't shampoo your dog with nair!

2. If you thought the second day of a drug/alcohol binge was even better than the first, just wait. It's all uphill from there.

3. If your dick gets stuck in a garbage disposal, flip the switch immediately to counter-reverse the flow of pressure, works every time.

4. Only try when guaranteed success. Horse shoes and hand grenades are the only time in life when "Almost" matters.

5. Fuck a lot of old women. Like really old. You'll develop a layer of hardened sap from their elder nether ether which will prevent you from contracting STDs.

6. Bros before Hos but Hos can be Bros and Bros can be Hobos so Hobro Hobos before Broho Horbos

7. When going into a really hot place, wear a lot of antiperspirant. It helps keep you dry so you don't boil in your sweat. (It's also better at being sunscreen than sunscreen, srs)

8. If you encounter a bear, charge it head on. Bears don't know close quarters combat.

9. Never be afraid to put something up your butt. In fact, the more practice you have putting strange things up your butt, the better prepared you are for life in general.

10. Get a job you hate in order to make money. If you have a family, ignore them as much as possible. Don't worry, they'll always be around.