Recent DJ Posts

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

I meet Margot Robbie and a boyfriend of hers and we are spending some time together, fooling around. They take some new drug and are super chill, I feel like we might even get involved in a threesome based on their energy. But then they start going psychotic and insisting I also take the drug, which I don't want to. When I threathen to leave they become incredibly possessive, especially the guy, who starts chasing me with a needle to drug me by force. Margot is less psycho and realizes he is being too agressive, so she stops him. I then put away a box of needles and other sewing materials that I had been using for some craft and say calmly that I am leaving, while Margot kicks the guy down to calm him down.
Then I am sitting at some venue listening to Zilla and some other people in a round table. Zilla has a nip slip and I can tell that some lady by her side has a crush on her and is aroused by it. Zilla also notices and she kinda forcefully mentions she is a recent mom with her partner, just to cut any expectations on her side.
Then I am at my mom's, with some friends after the conference and for some reason Bill and Hillary Clinton are part of the guests. During the conference I was hurt by some idiot who lashed out on me. He came up with his conspiracy theories against the message of global unity and when I came to reason with him, he lashed out on me. I guess the Clinton's had appreciated my intervention and that's why we are hanging out. I am lying on the sofa and Hillary is really nice to me, treating me while I joke about her role in the conspiracies. But she's so down to earth, she laughs with me and I feel like we are becoming friends. Then I think to myself nobody is going to believe I am buddy with Hillary Clinton and that's when I realize that's because it's a damn dream. I become lucid and the dream becomes more vivid and stable and I notice that she doesn't fade like other DCs, she is actually more clear and defined in front of me. So I tell her we are dreaming and if she is a real person, I would like us to meet in waking life. I get up from the sofa, I stand face to face with her and tell her my name and my country of origin so that it is very clear. She then asks for my email, because that is more guaranteed she'll reach out to me. I say she might not be able to remember that, so she grabs pen and paper. I tell her she would not be able to carry it out of the dream and she says it iss just to try to remember it better by seeing it in written and confirming with me that it is spelled correctly. So I spell it out to her and she writes it down. She almost gets it correctly, except for one extra character. I try to correct her, but I wake up.

I'll let you know if I get an email from Hillary

Another one of those nights where I woke up a little after 4:00 am and couldn't get back to sleep for a while. This tends to be good for lucid dreaming, because I often feel too tired to get up and do a WBTB otherwise. I updated the dream journal, read some journals on Dreamviews, and read the Lord of the Rings. I also had some valerian, and a little bit of melatonin (about a quarter of a 3mg tablet, I think. I had taken a half of one before bed. It usually doesn't take a lot for me.) I eventually went back to sleep around 7:00.

The dream was kind of rambling, involving school/research related stuff, a parade, and a courthouse. At some point, I became lucid:

...At another point in time, I realize that I’m either experiencing a hypnogogic hallucination or a dream. I reach out and hold onto a cable that is running next to me, pulling myself up and also more into the dream. I’m at the top of a building, perhaps on some kind of a walkway? I make my way toward the end, where the roof of the building ends, and out onto a pole. The pole seems to be covered in a thick black grease-like substance. I lick the pole to try to stabilize/anchor myself more. I can see the ground below me, but I start to lose the dream...

This might have been a false awakening, I remember trying to get back into a dream. Something about a tube of lotion/shampoo/conditioner - something like that. I was also looking at what I thought was HI, but it seemed pretty realistic.

Notes: Frequency of lucidity is still decent. My dreams keep ending sooner than I would like though. I still have some concerns about my experimenting with silene capensis earlier in the year. It probably doesn't have much to do with it, but there is an idea in the back of my mind that it has caused my lucid dreams to be shorter. This idea itself might be causing me to lose the dreams sooner, especially if I'm just having false awakenings instead of actually waking up.

Quasi-lucid dream of wielding a Japanese Katana. Lately, I have been working on Japanese martial art and have trained with a Katana almost daily. This showed up in my dream.

I am standing in front of a mirror, holding a sword. As I visualize the cuts, my sword moves, smoothly and very fast. I can actually see the cuts in the air. I look at myself in the mirror and see a Samurai woman moving the sword. She smiles at me. The dream lasted, subjectively, for 1-2 minutes.

After having a bit of a rought time recently, I've been doing a lot better. I've been keeping up with work, eating relatively healthy, reading, and making music. I had a big tidy up (my flat was a complete shithole) and this improved my mind clarity. I did buy some weed a couple nights ago and have been smoking fairly regularly, but I've been making sure that I'm not wasting my time consuming online videos, trying to be a bit more aware and productive.

A few days ago, a book I ordered arrived - Stephen LaBerge's "Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming". I bought this book because of a recommendation somewhere on this forum, and I'm so happy with it. I only started reading it last night, but it struck a real chord with me. I've been aware of lucid dreaming for almost 15 years and had relative success with DILDs and WBTBs as a kid, but I lost my way with it through various bad habits and the general challenges life throws at you as an adult.

I read the first 50 or so pages in one sitting and I felt a pretty profound change in my state of mind. LaBerge has written this book so that it flows really nicely, and whilst I already know a lot of things he is informing the reader of, it feels great to start from the beginning again. I kind of forgot about the depth of potential benefits that Lucid Dreaming provides, and reading this put me back into a magical state of inspiration and motivation to succeed in lucid dreaming again.

I felt so connected with all of this that I went to bed feeling immersed in my thoughts of having lucid dreaming. I had my laptop by my bed, ready to write my dreams in the morning, and I fell asleep half-attempting a WILD, staying completely still and having my minds eye encompassed in hypogogic hallucinations.

However, I woke up this morning with no dream recollection, feeling fairly groggy despite a long sleep. I had smoked quite a lot of weed last night but felt fairly collected as I got to bed, so I hoped that it wouldn't interrupt my sleep too much. However in hindside, it probably did. I need to remind myself that whilst I can smoke weed in moderation during the day, I'm going to have trouble pursuing lucid dreaming if I keep going to bed high.

Another interesting thing happened last night - whilst I was reading the book, I had a few moments where my consciousness felt altered, like I was aware of something spiritual or mystical on my mind. I've felt this many time before when I feel inspired by mystical scenarios or readings, but this put me quite on edge. I started to have this fear that I would look away towards my kitchen for example, and see a terrifying, black demon, such as the woman from The Ring. This genuinely spooked me for a while and I kept having this sensation that any second now, something terrifying was going to happen. I remembered that I used to get this all the time as a kid, I got spooked to the point that I wonder if I experienced trauma as a child, once to a film and once to a book.

I obviously wasn't scared to the point of true terror as I was as a child, but I realized that I hadn't thought about this sensation in years. When I've gone to therapists, they'd always ask me about my past and if I've had any traumatic experiences, and I've never had anything to offer there. I sometimes have felt that there is something hiding in my subconscious that I need to remember, and thinking about these feelings of terror made me wonder if that was it. I really was a bit of a messed up kid at times and the intensity of the fear would make me say and do weird things. it makes me wonder whether exploring this could be another application of lucid dreaming for me, working past my weird fears that seemed to arise again after reading lucid dreaming content as I would as a child.

Anyway, onwards and upwards - I'm excited for a new day today, to begin working through the dream sign annotation exercise in LaBerge's book, and I plan to stop smoking at least two hours before I go to bed tonight. My recall used to be amazing with up to 10 dreams per night, and I cannot wait until I've got back to that spot.