Recent DJ Posts

Trying to reestablish DJing as a daily habit

+ wooden gym frame appears in my field of vision, fairly large, thick wooden beams, and I say "ooh, look a frame", there is a person to my right to whom I'm speaking. I approach it and do some pullups. There are a number of different handholds at different heights for pullups. (I speak to a gym rep who is talking about the cost of time on the frame?)

+ long-ish adventure moving around places inside and outdoors. At some point I inspect my fingers and I see that the fingertips are full of tiny thorns. I get a close up view and there are a lot of them they are bone white/yellow, and I start pulling them out (with tweezers?).

+ Riding in a car in the back seat up a hill my dad is driving there is a train along the hillside to our right and my dad is looking at it trying to get a view of it, I say "keep your eyes on the road, dad!" we will look at the train in more detail when we reach the station at the top of the hill. The car swerves dangerously close to the rock wall to our right but we do not hit it. At the top of the hill the scene changes to a multi-level laundry facility, there are stations for rent with very thick vacuum hoses that you can use to clean your car. There are tubs/depressions in the ground that people are filling with water and using to wash their clothes, first they put a shovel full of disinfectant powder to clean out the tub. At our tub someone asks me to put a lock on it.

+ outdoor scene on a city street, some women, something involving my kids?

A LOT happened last night. I went to sleep at my normal time, 11:30. This time my goal was to do an RC in my dream. Did MILD (poorly) till I drifted off.

Dream #1 (Non-Lucid):
First thing I can remember is me walking up the sidewalk in my neighborhood, thinking about how calling someone could potentially result in a bomb being dropped nearby. (Before this point multiple bombs had already been dropped but I can't remember any specifics, might've even been a false memory.) I came to a stop at a place where I could look down at the grassy area between two rows of houses, and a line of trees/bushes 25 feet in. I called J for some reason, with a feeling (though not a hope) that a bomb would drop on the pool about a mile away... and it did.

The explosion was vivid, albeit unrealistic. I saw the mushroom cloud billow up and felt the vibrations in the air and under my feet, and the wind was especially tangible. I ducked between two cars as it blew against me, still holding my phone, with a tinge of uneasiness. I thought, "These bombs are interesting once in a while, but only once in a while... Then again, if I selfishly enjoy even them even once, perhaps I should accept them happening all the time with no complaints... but no, why should it be that way? I'll want what I want, when I want!" It was quite a realistic thought process.

(A note: I'm pretty sure this same explosion actually happened earlier in a slightly different way, with me behind rather than between the cars, but my subconscious rewinded and edited it. That happens fairly often in my dreams.)

The wind kept coming, and suddenly it really picked up, stronger than all the previous bombs. I held onto the car handles to support myself and move forward while listening to the cars on the highway smash into each other, to the sound of screeching metal. I was only thinking vaguely about how weirdly easy it was for me and the cars near me to stay still in comparison.

Then for some reason all the highway cars appeared in the line of trees in front of me, except one totally wrecked and empty one which was much closer to me on the grass. Tons of people spilled out and were fleeing into the woods, and that's when J and her twin sister L appeared. I told them enthusiastically what happened ("The wind was so strong it pushed the cars and I could hear the collisions!"), not mentioning that I was the cause of it. L almost interrupted me once but I spoke over her.

J was like "wow" and I'm a little confused about this part, but apparently only parents were able to flee by going through the line of cars into the woods... kids weren't allowed? We hopped through the empty car anyway but nothing happened.

Anyway, L was apparently a graphic artist in this dream and had to go somewhere to draw. J and I went with, to a random and dark parking lot, and I brought along my own drawing tablet. I had to remember how to use it and did so by accessing real-life memories of it in my room and of plugging it into a computer. Not sure what happened during this time but L eventually turned into S and we were making a story together, drawing the two main characters. She drew a teen girl in a somewhat grainy and realistic art style that vaguely resembled Tinkerbell. I was probably drawing the other character, a man in his twenties. In the story, they were both prisoners helping each other escape. I remember specifically that the girl escaped first and was going to break his restraints so they could leave together, although they didn't know each other well and he was kind of a gruff and unfriendly guy.

S held up their drawing and said that they liked the sketch, so they weren't going to pay anyone for a better version. (I'll just include this here: I think some time in this dream I was at S's house and their dad was speaking condescendingly to me, but I have no idea when this occurred.)

Then some stuff happened that I don't remember, all I know is that I was acting like a baby (pouting and whining), so J treated me like one (but not meanly). We went to a gas station, I think to buy some build-it-yourself Japanese-speaking machine, though I don't remember what for. In addition I bought some Cow Tales, permanently-locked measuring tape, and small, blue-wrapped candies, wanting to spend the little money I had for whatever reason. (This definitely also happened before in a slightly different way and was rewinded by my subconscious. I think the first time I got functional measuring tape.) I remember walking to the cash register, but I don't remember paying.

Next scene I can recall is being in a large room with a wooden floor, sitting on a bench/bed with my dad. I think there were a few other people in the background as well, and the permanently-locked measuring tape was on the bench-bed. It had a green sticker warning people not to unlock it, with an X'd out image of the down-arrow safety lock and the number 4. I figured that meant you had to move the safety lock downward four times to unlock it. I went "Hmm" and decided to try it. I asked my dad what would happen while I did so, not believing it could be too bad or dangerous—after all, it was a company, they couldn't sell stuff like that!

It snapped open before he answered, and small circular serrated blades (like shuriken) burst out in all directions. I jumped off the bench and subconsciously prevented myself from being stabbed right away because it would mess up the plot. For the same reason, my dad did not get injured, even though he was right next to it. I was supposed to be the sole target, he was supposed to watch. I was somewhat aware of this choice... even thinking something like "(dream) logic" in the back of my mind. (And AGAIN, something similar happened earlier in the dream but I subconsciously erased it—maybe it was too difficult and I got hit by the blades.)

Belatedly answering my question, my dad calmly said, "A bunch of blades would pop out." Well gee, thanks, Father. I can see that.

I slumped on the floor to dodge the blades, but they kept spinning around in somewhat predictable patterns. I was stuck in the corner of the room dodging them, not able to move properly due to fear. It was scary and quite vivid; so was my hyperventilating (which was intentional but also not) when I finally managed to get away. My dad said unsympathetically, "That's how bugs feel every day." I briefly imagined it; the atoms and minuscule organisms in the air dodging my legs as I ran. Then I woke up.

———

It was 3:40 or so when I woke up and at first I did not remember anything except the very last scene of the dream, and even that was fading. But somehow I managed to focus and backtrack all the way back to where I started the entry. I didn't finish writing till 4:34, then I lay down and attempted WILD, repeating "reality check, reality check" in my head. It didn't take as long as a couple days ago but it did take a while before I finally fell back asleep.

———

Dream #2 (Non-Lucid):
This dream may not have been lucid but it sure was interesting. I started out sitting up in my bed, looking down at a giant yellow slug-caterpillar thing on the mattress. I whimpered and flipped it over, trying to push it off, but I didn't push hard enough. Then I thought, "Wait, this is probably just a hypnopompic hallucination!" and stared at it till it went away.

But now I was curious, and tried to take advantage of my supposedly sleepy state. I stared at my sheets and tried to visualize chicken nuggets. At first they showed up as those blob-lights you sometimes see when you close your eyes, but I focused on one until it cleared up and was a real chicken nugget.

Tentatively, I picked it up, fascinated that I could really feel it. (I was briefly reminded of Koomer and Oguigi from my tulpa phases.) Slowly I lifted it to my mouth and bit down, and it tasted so real! A bit on the watery side but whatever. I thought, "I have to tell J about this" and was imagining it, then I think I woke up briefly before entering another dream.

Dream #3 (Lucid):
This time I was in the bathroom washing my hands, but the faucet was weird. When I turned the hot water on, the water would stop running altogether, and I could bend the knob all the way backwards. It freaked me out a little to be honest and the possibility of dreaming popped into my head.

I thought "No way" but did a nose-plug RC anyway, and there it was—that explosion of air like in my semi-lucid a few days ago! I couldn't believe it and stumbled backward in shock. My reflection disappeared and the mint-green walls seemed strangely oppressive and unsettling. I tried to get a hold of myself, crouching down and rubbing my hands together, but it was too late. I woke up.

...Except I didn't, because it was a false awakening! My first one EVER! I don't know why—I always forget to RC in the morning—but as I was listening to the sound of my dad opening the shower door in the bathroom, something must have tipped me off because I plugged my nose and breathed. And I could breathe! Normally! It didn't feel stuffy or explosive! I was so amazed I did it twice, then sat up, grinning and feeling my sheets on my skin. It actually felt a little oversensitive, like when you're sick and your nerves are fried.

I climbed down from my bed (it's a bunk bed) and saw my youngest brother sleeping on the floor, though I didn't think much of it. I remembered my steps but only briefly checked for false memories, skipped RC because I already did it, then whisper-asked for my dream guide to come through the door. (Whispering because it was dark and quiet in the room.) Nothing happened so I asked again, thinking that my expectations were not high enough.

While I waited, I turned my attention to the Miku poster on the door. There was no coat rack like in real life and it was taking up the entirety of the door, maybe the doorframe too. The art looked different, better than in real life, and I leaned closer, saying aloud, "Miku is really beautiful, huh." [I know I'm a trashy weeb okay? ]

But then I remembered a DJ post (by Nerefa) that I read yesterday, about dream faces not being as realistic as they seemed, only as much as your waking-life awareness. I wondered if she would actually look ugly upon closer inspection, and when I peered into her face it turned derpy. I assumed it was just because I was expecting it rather than my real-life awareness being that bad, and I must have sensed myself waking up because I was thinking, "Maybe if I had stayed focused on the dream guide this wouldn't have happened..." And then I woke up, for real this time, at 5:55.

Dream #4 (Lucid; Fragment):
Okay so this happened before I woke up, but I don't know where it fits in relation to everything else. I was mentally explaining to someone (possibly myself, or imagining telling someone in the future) that my DJ was occasionally censored when a topic like suicide or self-harm came up because I didn't want people snooping and seeing that. I said that I sometimes couldn't remember these scenes properly even when I read them again, because I was so vague in my DJ.

Eventually I was in my bed looking at a (false) entry with a self-harm scene, but my dream journal was all cut up. The part mentioning SH was cut in a way that the word "WHAT?" was spelled out. So someone had seen this entry, understood it despite my censorship and vagueness, and was concerned.

I had been exposed and obviously felt dread and shock, but at the same time remembered that I have a lot of dreams of being exposed by people in real life. Maybe it was because I desperately wanted to deny the situation, but I was sure that it was a dream. I said aloud, "No, this isn't real. It's a dream, it must be."

Then I think I performed a successful nose-plug RC, and that's all I remember.

———

Well, that took a while. But now my lucid count is up to 10! Here are some quick sketches of the dream scenes: