Uncategorized

Competition night #2
2022-12-03 00:00


Key:
+ [f] = fragment
+ = dream
[true] [false] memory notes, true or false
[DS] = dream sign
(?) = unsure about some detail
[vivid, etc] = notes about dream quality and characteristics (lighting, location urban/suburban/outdoors, etc)
[ss] = short summary, detail coming later
[DR] = day residue, from a waking experience/memory

Bedtime ~ 23:49 2022-12-02

(many different fragments and dreams throughout the night, not clear which ones belong to which wakings, there were a lot of later wakings

01:20 took 4mg galantamine 600mg AlphaGPC and right back to sleep

03:38 waking with lots of vivid recall

+ [f] there is a building being constructed [outdoor, daylight, city]

+ twilight [DS] baseball [DS] at bat run to 3rd watch for coach big fight runner running to 2nd

+ working with Samual Jackson he is creating a concrete bunker on the ground using spray-on concrete, I give him a piece of metal from my retainer [DR "The Boyz"], later I separate myself from him I don't want to get caught. He's building a very impressive structure with many shapes and forms, it's on the ground.

+ leave work building (quiting / was fired?) with packet of electronic components, final outer door security turns me back ("gotta pay for it or put it back"), there is a big dessert party going on inside it's impossible to put anything down anywhere, all surfaces are covered with large gooey tasty looking desserts: cakes, etc. people sitting around tables eating

+ [f] in multi-level parking garage, there's a screen (gets cracked?), I'm standing between the levels, someone comes

+ [f] shooting a guy in the back of the head through the back window of a car/bus (his head is right there) with a machine gun, I'm thinking about the speed of the bullets, he must be dead, I then watch the progress of the vehicle he was driving and confirming that it's now rolling out of control, there are other cars around and maybe other enemies

06:08 probably final waking

+ [f] escape with the sapphires pasted into book are they real? I think they're fake, they are pasted in pouches into the pages of a book, somebody's trying to smuggle them out.

+ [f] in old PTL home in kids's rooms, insepcting the structures on the walls: boards there attached for posting drawings, etc.

+ [f] Talking with son S1, he says how his goal in life is to run a specialized (fishing, scientific) ship/boat, I'm concerned about the prospects for the future for this choice

+ I'm furious with a surgeon who operated on my eye/eyelid and now my eyelid is frozen in the open position for life. I scream at him "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO!?" he doesn't answer. I more calmly (but still agitated) insist "Tell Me Exactly What Happened!" He then says "OK I'll answer you" and describes how (I see visuals inside my head as he talks) about how the prep for the surgery involved drawing red cutting lines along the eye and apparently these were out of position and cut a critical tendon or muscle. I say "Now I'm going to have to walk around with eyedrops and squirt them into my eyes every 10 seconds for the rest of my life!".
Then I'm moving with someone (maybe that surgeon?) in to a restaurant, we're being seated, a waiter has our plates of food, I see other people seated as we walk by, someone ordered the same thing as me and the plate is half-eaten, and the waiter comments "That guy did a good job!" (eating as much as he did), I don't see how it's so good. The plates are placed on the table, it's a round white plate with a round brown piece of meat and other things like peas.

Better sleep despite an awake period after delving for "earlier" dreams, and fairly good, varied dreaming, decently vivid

I'm scribbling written keywords notes on all wakings with recall now

earlier:
+ working the blinds in my childhood home room, trying to open them, fiddling with them a lot; looking at cactus plants on top of my dresser in same room, flower (artificial?) arrangements, on which beetles (which morph in shape/size as I watch) are crawling

+ best friend MR proposes a game to play: someone poses a problem, and you need to propose some solution [more involved than that, don't recall]; I don't really want to play but say I will

+ hunting on a hill with a rifle on a large open field sloping before me; a large group gathers; moves indoors, thoughts of some large gun arrangement; look out window to group of kids below, "they're waving at me" so I wave but they're waving to someone else instead outside on a girder

+ some question about an old Harry Potter inside a tunnel with a lot of moss/dust bunnies that I'm clearing away from a doorway

+ in grandma's house: close up view of an ornate wooden table, decide to go to bedroom, see "pop up 3d" pictures of family member faces on cardboard stands; in the room see baby picture of me making a frustrated face and I'm struck by how much this looks like a baby picture son #2

later:

+ broken ipad, the screen is all messed up, I'm upset at this, the room is full of tech equipment, I pick up a router from the floor and place it on a table

+ [f] at a rest stop, I need to choose some (long, tree) saws to throw away, they're all bent and unusable, someone is interested in them?

+ [f] parking a car, too close to the crosswalk I think, there are no better places

+ [long, fairly vivid] Fo.Gi. (WFP, college, deceased) is alive: divorced, not dead, skype convo, I leave, he's upset, calls me "prick!", with DD (FG's wife), talk with her new parents in law, I tell her how I was surprised to see FG, I retell the FG story in a room full of people sitting at tables

+ Outside/snow/flush flood, I'm shoveling it and causing rivulets to run, my car is stuck several cars back and go to it but I see it's entirely flooded, guys there point out my frozen horse in the ice flow river, floating on its back with its legs up; I hitch a ride with a trucker and talk about the names of the local university towns, I'm holding a cart-sized wheel in my hands

+ trap house: blow small objects through multiple tubes to "prove" there is no beast lying in wait inside, look down ramp to open area and see evidence of other "blown" objects, move to other side of house and monster emerges, I stay on the high ground to avoid it

Felt like I was awake from 23:30 until about 07:00. No dreams in that time. Then slept until about 10:30, sporadic wakings with some recall:

early:

+ [vague, early] doing things with people in indoor locations, some sort of adventure?

mid:

+ With young g/f (probably too young for me I think) in room, close door, want to get frisky, notice door knob turning, her older sister is in hallway (enters?). I see the door knob turning multiple times. Concerned about someone entering / not having privacy [DS!!!]

+ Take off flying with friends in open outdoor area from high place in front of a huge (massive!) fir tree, spot another group of flying people, we tangle in a brutal flying gang-fight, banging heads against boards, etc. I notice the fir tree branches and needs close up, it's beautiful [waking walk in pine forest 2 hours yesterday]

+ Visiting a pizza parlor where everybody orders toppings from an external vendor, which are then delivered in a group to the restaurant individually packed in plastic bags, people pick up their packs of toppings then hand them to the parlor cooks to complete the order; they have particularly fresh cherry tomatoes and basil, which is why everybody uses them

+

late:
+ standing on lawn looking at street at old CA home, my home is behind me: my car's parked on the street blocking someone else's car. It's closer than bumper to bumper, my car seems partially parked into the back seat/hatch of the car in front. There's no way that car's owner could move. If he does some I hope he won't be upset, I'll just rush down and repark my car in a second, so he shouldn't be. Then the car's owner arrives and he speaks through the car window with (my dad?) in another car about something, I think he's talking about like how I park in my driveway, I see him gesturing towards my driveway so I imagine this is what he's saying, I feel the need to go talk with this guy and settle any issues he has.

+ Many scenes in an office, revolving around my work cube: sweater gift, I get a brown wool sweater, and drape it over the entrance of my cube (and put two shoes underneath it to make it look like someone is there?), get a 2nd sweater gift?

They take away my monitor, but this is OK because I have a laptop, I move to the side a bit and there's a large screen there that I can connect to from my laptop to work, but there's a guy there with a game controller playing games. Large, purplish game scene is on the screen.

There is a guy running through the hallways and bellowing like a berserker, he's a D&D player and his character is a warrior so he just swings weapons around. I think about the other characters that round out a good campaign group: mages, clerics, thieves. I tend to like playing thieves but they have their limits [false I like mages].

Walking past a table, there's a guy there with red berries left on his face from eating pie, there's some talk or presentation we need to get to (?).

They take my back wall of my cube, which means my desk is now connected directly to the desk of the cube next to mine, and while working we're going to have to be looking directly at each other. There is a girl who's been promoted ahead of me, and I think this is a case of severe ageism. She needed the larger work space(?). She's leaving anyway and donates her promotion equipment back to some other employee (her manager?).

I find some guy and ask him about my professor: what are his office hours, where's his office, where are my classes? (He doesn't answer, but tells me that there is a limit of printed or plastic reading materials that each employee is allowed to keep)?

Continuing to seek information on my prof and classes, there is a desk (raided above ground level) where a bunch of female secretaries are working, I ask them, (one comes down to me?)

CrgLe's [WFP, uni B, grad school] discrete math book, I invited (?) CL to my cube, he is reluctant to come, he has his Discrete Math Puzzle book with him, I look at the cover it is colorful with example of many sorts of physical puzzles made up from colored blocks and objects. He explains something about the idea behind the book.

The promotion girl is meeting with (HR?, Banker?) in order to get her salary, she sits down at a desk across from the rep, and asks for some deposit slips. I'm standing a bit back from the desk watching. The rep immediately takes out a pad of desposit slips and starts writing down the girl's salary on it, I sneak closer for a look, I want to see what she earns, I wonder if that's a weekly amount?

Short scenes, terrible night of sleep according to fitbit, despite Huberman cocktail (first time it's failed...I went a little light on the Mag L-Threo, maybe need the full 144mg?)

+ playing in a rehearsal/concert, lots of solos, fun music. Then I get a glance at the sheet music I was supposed to be playing, it's made up of a lot of boring whole notes, and weird 16-/32-64th notes.

+ (I'm a?) warrior monk, and I/we're upset that we have to fight (some other warriors?), I thought when we signed up that we'd be fighting exclusively creatures from the forrest. Arrive at a door, there's a pile of books there, these will lead to wisdom. They're all Sherlock Holmes books. Snow or sawdust is blown away revealing a name carved in block letters in the stone, WHEATON. Find him and we'll find the truth (?). Inside the building, I'm balancing on a walkway high above the story below, a bit concerned about falling.

+ Vacuuming the insides of a suitcase. I'm showing (my wife?) how to do it properly, you have to use a circular motion of the brush head to get all the stuff up. Towards the latch there are a lot of short whiskers or animal hair.

back to "morning of" for labelling DJ entries.

Night of rest. some light recall. Only one bathroom trip. despite late light meal, I slept well, with pretty good fitbit sleep numbers:

87 score (after 3 days in a row of 91!): 7:40 asleep, :49 awake 1:15 deep, 1:47 REM, 93% below resting, 4% restless

earlier:

+ on top of a very high cliff overlooking a lake. A girl to my left dives head first and I watcher her hit the water with her hands out in front of her, I think the impact on her head must have been a doozy. Then I jump. It's a long way down and takes longer than I thought to reach the water, I hit with flat feet with a smack that's not too painful and I continue very deeply down, when my momentum stops I look up and the top is waaay far above me. I begin swimming and it takes me a very long time to get back to the surface, and I feel like my lungs are really beginning to ache with the strain of holding in the air. Eventually I make it up to the surface and take some deep breaths.

mid:

+ in a pool, I want to put on goggles and dive under water and look around

later:

+ with people in places: view of a long trailer for hauling large/long vehicles, it moves over a bumpy road and makes a lot of noise at the trailer rattles when it hits these bumps

+ talking to people, someone in a high position of authority is planning to quit and return in a new capacity, then someone else threatens to do the same, I think they're just copycatting the first person

pretty good sleep: fitbit 7:16 sleep, 87 score: time 42/50, deep/rem 24/25 (2:01 REM, 2:00 deep) , restoration 21/25 (76% below resting, 7% restless)

00:17 - 08:24, time awake 51 mins

awake at 08:00 (look at watch), probably awake since 07:30

tons of sugary stuff in the evening (cheese cake, ice cream), late dinner (22:00)

Just one, late dream recalled (there were earlier ones, but they faded)

+ parallel parking a car on a city street, it takes me many attempts to position the car at just the right location, son S1 is outside and is going to hand in a large (old-style) desktop PC to me through the front passenger's window. I'm concerned that passers-by may see? [DS!] One guy tries to grab two precious boxes (son S2's coin collection box and something else), he's trying to pull them from the hands of (my mother?) who's sitting in the back seat right side, I'm then in the back seat leaning out the window pulling our stuff back in, then trying to fight him off, my whole torso is leaning out the window, and I'm trying to pick up rocks and throw at him with enough force to hurt him, but my throws are all ineffectual. I also yelled to son S1 to help (?). Eventually I kill him? I take his (head?) around the front of the car into the street and grind his skull (which looks like a lizard skull? Watched Jurassic Park 2 before bed) into the ground, saying something about "the joker".

+ [vague] something about people, faucets?

earlier:

+ walking around (passing on right) a large-ish house, look inside through windows, see a young-ish woman there (standing at the window looking out at me), I know she's the caretaker of the house, and I know that she is very well suited for this

Middle:
+ rear ender: I stop at a city intersection stoplight (my brakes don't work very well? [DS]). I see a large truck coming up too quickly in my rear-view window, I think he won't stop in time, I pull out into the intersection and a bit to the left trying to avoid it, the truck does hit me but it's a fairly light tap. I continue around to the left, then another left, and I'm talking to a cop there who says I ran the light. I say "how do you know?" He says that because he hear the sound of a car at the right time and then knew that it had happened. I admitted it them, and swore, "f^&*", "oh, pardon my french, but that's the 2nd time I was hit at that intersection [false memory], it has terrible markings, it's not clear at all what to do," then the cop goes off to try to verify this. I move over to a railing and look down to an area one floor down, where there are a number of different intersection models built: markings on the pavement, and some have high piles of (rubber?) blocks. In one of them a man is tasked to shuffle quickly along a portion of the pavement. The cop concludes that I am right, that the intersection is very poorly marked, and (I'm let go without any citation?)

+ I arrive to a city. I'm looking at street signs. Later I'm walking through a neighborhood, there's some festival gathering(?), people sitting around a table? [most of the rest of the dream scenes are in this environment]. (fairly decent amount of content here, mostly forgotten)

+ [f] I'm leaving the celebration, walking past an office with some celebrants still in it, they're drinking red wine (?)

+ [f] me and some friends arrive to the LHS high back patio, where there is a party/celebration planned. We do not have invites, and we furtively peek around the corner, not sure if we should continue fully on to the patio or not. (My dad invites us just to go on in?)

+ [f] a group of worshippers (and the priest?) is exiting from a Greek Orthodox Church across the street after a liturgy. They are all singing "Hail, Mary" in Greek. I/we (the people with me) start singing it in English and it's sort of a singing contest/competition.

+ [f] I see a row of trash cans (small, office-sized) lined up along a wall (about 4-5 of them), the last one contains my [false] blue leather coat all bunched up and stuffed into the can

later:
+ [f] looking at and thinking about a wooden deck. I'm thinking about whether or not it's fire proof (someone says something?)

+ [f] I'm talking to a doctor, asking about what's up with my right pinky, why it gets "stuck" sometimes [true], the doctor answers that it's a "finger curling syndrome" and I get the impression that it's fairly rare and only old people generally have it

2022-11-15
[night of] 2022-11-15

no recall in the earlier parts of the night, first two pee wakings nothing at all,
after that, some hint of some scenes, but forgotten

basic Huberman stack (1 magnesium instead of 3), no gaba/glycine, no tryp, yes ashwagandha, 66mg B6 (two caps), 21:30
BT 2256
OOB 0820
fitbit: 8:17 sleep, 1:10 awake, REM 1:23, deep 1:13, 86% below resting, 6% restless

earlier
+ some scenes, forgotten: cigars?

+ baseball [DS]: [twilight, DS] throw the runner out at first (but I'm throwing a sponge?) and I don't think I hit him in time. There's a little girl at bat and I yell out "look for bunts!" I'm imagining how I'm swinging the bat and really knocking the ball way out, like in grad school team, blasting line drives between 1st and 2nd, imagine running the bases, checking the fielding, and trying for 3rd, but what if there's a runner also on 3rd? He'd have to make room for me

later:
+ [long, fairly vivid sequence] outdoors, observing the dirt road at my [place in country], there's a truck driving by and I think it's watering the road, I suppose this is to prevent dust from rising, I follow it as it moves forwards and I'm watching it for signs of water spraying but don't really see much. It turns into an elephant(?) which moves down the road, and I don't want it to see me [DS], so I move to a side path and hang from the branches of a tree while it passes. I observe the road that goes by my house and it looks like they've widened the turf, cutting it back to make the road wider. I move on to my property and I'm looking at and examining the neighbor house. It looks familiar [false memory, nothing like my neighbor's house in waking], it's large, tall, reddish/pink in color, multi-story, I see the front door. I see something down in a low court yard area and I go to (pick it up?), and I notice that in a tall narrow stairway in the neighbor's house, with glass walls [DS!!!!] that you can see through, the neighbor (man and woman?) are standing together at the top floor of the stairway, (looking down at me?), I don't want to be seen [DS]. Up on the middle level, the neighbors come out of their house, there are a number of older women, one or two I recognize [false] as long-time neighbors. There is a guest, a venerable old noble woman, who comes out and sits down on a couch with difficulty, I kiss her hand in greeting, I greet them in [foreign language].

Moving back to the front courtyard, I see a boy and a girl playing in a small guard house. Then I'm on a bus with a man (neighbor)?, the bus is medium sized and full of people, the man is sitting in the row ahead of me, half turned facing me with his arm draped over the chair back in front of me, his arm and armpit are open and I think may be stinky (but don't smell anything), he's going somewhere, a museum (?), the bus makes a stop but he doesn't get off in time and I think he's missed his stop, and wonder what he'll do. I don't want to get off, I'm planning to ride the full route in a cycle to get back home again.

There's a young woman in front and to the left of me, I catch a glance at her bust, which is very attractive, I try to look for her again but don't see her.

Outdoors (back home or near home?) I'm staring to climb up on top of a fence or a railing / raised narrow path, and a young woman is there and talks to me and says that we'll be together, I don't particularly want to be with her so I turn around and head back, I slide down over the top of a container (like a garbage bin) that is open in the middle and I'm careful not to fall into the hole and there might be sharp edges. I noticed that on top of a neighboring bin, there is (garbage, food?) and some insects, including a fairly large spider with way too many lets, like 16-24 or more, evenly spaced out all around it's perimeter. No body to speak of, just a bunch of long, spider-bent legs. I think the director (of a film?) can do whatever he wants with his scenes, and that explains the spider.

earlier:
+ in a (sandwich shop?) at the counter there's a man working there, and he's closing up, saying that everyone who already got in their order will still be able to pick it up later (on another day) since he's going to close, I'm confused, I'm not sure if I'm on this list or not and am not sure I'll have my order processed.

Something about a murder? They're looking for the suspects. I don't want to leave the area because I think that no matter how far away I get, they'll realize that I've left and that will make me a suspect, and they'll track me down and find me eventually.

+ in a room with my two sons at a young age [DS], and a third boy, they're doing pullups, and I'm counting the reps for them. Younger son falls to one of the mats (?). Then my 5th/6th grade teacher Mrs. R, who is smoking a cigarette, shows up outside and is knocking on the door.

later:

+ daytime/daylight, in a car with others, we're in a Mexican/Latin part of town [watched Jurassic Park before bed], I'm telling the people driving with me that it's OK, we're going to a particular place [a restaurant? forgot], and our route will consist of a bunch of right-left zigzag turns. I draw this out on my palm tracing out a "Z" like pattern. There is some discussion on the exact shape of the driving pattern we'll take.

+ on the ground, urban environment (paved roads, traffic lights) but no buildings to speak of, completely flat terrain, twilight. I'm driving with someone, and pointing out the route I want to take, a sort of short cut to where we're going, the road is visible ahead, with stop lights. My point of view climbs into the air and I see the large (fancy hotel/residence building) in the distance (with a large globe and tress around it making it look like a large pineapple), and point out this as a landmark well-known to both of us ("see, we're going by [that place]"). Ahead I see a building with a business signs hung outside like in a strip mall, think we're going to be going through a mall and might stop in a store. come up to an elevated area, one side of a high embankment running along a freeway, there is a covered (mall?) bridge like a mall pedestrian walkway. I'm with my [1st] wife, she without hesitation jumps off the embankment and I start to say "NO, WHAT ARE YOU... [DOING]!?" but I see she has landed safely on a nearly 100% translucent walkway just about 6 feet below the edge of the embankment. I'm a bit leery but I jump down too to follow her. It's really hard to see the walkway, it's only about 4 feet wide and without any railings. I'm a bit nervous as this leads over the busy freeway (don't see any cars, it's more imagined to be there below us). My wife is exuberant and does a gymnastic running start and then a serious of backwards hand springs, and I freak out that she'll fall off the edge, but she doesn't. There is some man we need to see? I come up to her and we hug and kiss a bunch, and I have the thought [DS] what shall I do since I've remarried?

early:

+ I'm the featured soloist in a singing concert, the audience seems very skeptical, I lean out the window and psych myself up by yelling encouragement to the orchestra and conductor below, to really show the audience that I mean business and will really kick ass in the concert

+ in a parking lot, cars are driving, I have some things lying on the ground in the way of one car that wants to drive through so I run to them to pick them up and move them. Walking back the other way, another large squarish (like 1970's cadillac) car is coming towards me, at first it seems that there are two large rolls of toilet paper in the way and I move to the car to remove them to help out the driver, but as I approach I see that they are actually attached to the bumper of the car as a feature, two large white rolls right next to each other. I stand still to let the car drive by me, it passes me very close, just a few inches away. Then some people and I are talking about some liquids on the ground, some are saying they hope it's not caustic chemicals, I think/say that in children's birthday parties they typically only use 3: ?, ?, and carbon monoxide (to which they add an oxygen to make carbon dioxide?), and are not dangerous. We're sort of kicking at the pools of chemicals for a while with our feet. Then I got an stand in line with a shopping cart with some other people for something

later:

+ baseball scene, the shortstop is standing in a bad place between 1st and 2nd base right on the line between the bases, and the 2nd baseman is standing directly on the base instead of back from it a bit. I have some small black puck in my hand, like a hockey puck, that I toss into the air and which firmly sticks to the side of a tall metal pole growing out of 2nd base, I think that it must be highly magnetic. I also think that I should try a bite of the black puck, since they're mine after all, and have something else puck-shaped some food like thing in my hand, which should be sampled.

+ guy with salads/foods in pumpkins, throwing them down over the deck railing into the back yard (like in CH)

+ work scene, walking between buildings on the work campus, see other employees walking around, am a bit surprised at how many are there because it's a Saturday

+ in work cube/office scene, I pick up my pile of binders full of work info

+ take a customer service call while sitting in the back seat of a car, I'm a bit annoyed to be taking the call (being a developer not a customer service rep), but am still polite, I can't understand what the caller is saying/asking, something about "2 G.I.S."

Long night of sleep (yay), lots of dreams, early recall a bit spotty due to no recording

early:
+ walking outside at night, with views of the moon

+ I'm outdoors in daylight walking somewhere, suburban surroundings, I have some goal in mind. A car pulls up in front of me, front to my left, rear to my right, I'm facing driver's side. (There are no doors and I can see clearly inside.) A goth woman is driving, and a goth girl is in the back seat. They offer for me to join them. At first I'm very reluctant, as I have other plans. Then I decided "what the heck," and get in the back seat with the girl. We begin nuzzling. I nudge her left ear with my nose, and nibble on hear ear lobe, gently, running my teeth along the edges up and down. (I think she squirms because it tickles).

Spoiler for ST:

I reach around both sides of her from the side/back and fondle both her breasts through her clothing. I think this is So.Tch.

+ in an office, see a printer?

later:

+ walking outside daylight with people, open park/urban area, think/talk bout pathways [location/path awareness, woohoo], talking about new convenient bike paths that have recently been opened, I see/imagine them ahead and to the right

+ toss a toy on the ground that breaks when walking with sister, it was a toy that is supposed to roll on the ground. It's like a horse's head, I pick up the various pieces and hold them in my hands looking at them. come up to boundary area with lots of food kiosks, and I wonder if the others in my group will cross over the border

+ approaching a small building, intending to pass through and go out the left side exists, the doors close in front of us, I'm with a mother and her daughter, known to me, we begin singing "hail mary" prayer song, the mother (standing to my left) is singing not quite the right tune, which I recall clearly, and I'm stumbling a bit for the right words, and start to remember both words and tune.

+ in a gift shop I want to buy a surprise gift for my [1st] wife to present her after the end of our vacation. Looking closely at the objects on a shelf [DREAMSIGN!!!!], there are some fascinating self-morphing animated objects that are transforming and rotating as I watch, I think these are really interesting. There is a set of small earrings that I think is perfect, not carrying jewels but some other small unusual objects (that represent our vacation here?). There is also a cut geode, I look at the two halves expecting to see sparkly purple quartz, but there is none, just something uninteresting, like small brown bits of cardboard confetti-like flakes.

+ at a buffet, crowded with people, a group of girls crowds right in front of me, there's an older teen girl who brushes by me, I think about engaging with her but decide against it, it's a dessert bar, I see plates with a "mars" bars (special flavor) ice cream dish, a traditional mars bar ice cream treat, see girl with 4 chocolate ice cream bars on a plate spread out like a fan. The mars bar dishes have mars bars in their wrappers with one side opened, they're swimming in a liquid of ice cream sauce.

no supplements

BT 23:30 08.11.2022
FW 06:17
try to relax into throat lotus visualization but mind is just really jumpy
OOB 06:50

decent presence, awareness, but not very strong

+ vague impressions of doing earlier things with people in places, perhaps with son S1

+ drawing on the world using a computer drawing program: create a tall fence, I add the boards and stretch them upwards, also add smiling sunshine emojis, see the result in the world. I'm looking far into the distance and point out (to son S1?) that I see the water there far away. I'm looking at the cartoon-y looking wall/mountain that I drew, and wonder if I take it away in the program if the results will immediately reflect in the world, both sons (young age) are there and participating

+ helping [deceased, 1st wife's] mother-in-law pay her debts at a pharmacy. Walk in to the pharmacist's cabinet in he's busy with another customer, it will probably take a long time so I just give him her paper and hope he'll quickly deal with us. He does. There was one main debt and a bunch of others. I look at the list afterwards and it's (blue?) printed handwriting, words that I see but don't read, and small prices like "5" on the right. Then I'm walking with her in SF in a park like area (near the coast?) we're planning to do a bunch of touristy activities, which we ourselves have never done as residents, saying we normally don't do "touristy" things, she asks why, I answer normally residents don't do these things -- to avoid the crowds?. To my right on a bench I see son S2 crying because his paid game character died, it turns out that you have to buy some sort of protection character otherwise every turn some attacking fish will lower your health.

+ Moving furniture with Suz, on narrow hallway/catwalk, she's sitting on a chair recliner, and I'm standing behind the recliner pressed up against it looking down at her. Her hands are busy helping me hold the object, and her dress is hiking up more and more and just about to expose her <ahem>, I see her legs, I reach down and push her skit back down, it doesn't move quickly because she's sitting on it and she sort of squirms a bit to free it and it moves down a bit more. Her arms reach up and back (like she's hugging me from her position) and I notice her arms and arm pits.

+ In a gym working out, there is a long barbell that sort of lands/is precariously balanced on some stand, I get behind it and start to show someone how I do a particular exercise with it but not really doing it, some gym long-timers are snickering at me while they go about their workout routine, I glance at them and I see they have pads of paper with their workout written on it and they're flipping between the pages reading it. I notice Valerie (redhead) from high school and want to go up to her and ask her to the re-union, but she's busy working out, I don't know if I should bother her, I sort of dither standing near her in indecision, walk up to her, walk away, then get up my resolve to ask and go stand in front of her and ask her if she's going to the reunion. (She turns in to some random man?). She says "oh, what day is your day?", I'm confused by her answer I thought there was only one day. "My day was Wednesday" she says, (which I think has already passed), I think I say "oh I thought it was on Saturday".

pretty bad night of sleep, dreams faint and vague except for final ones
Took my sleep cocktail but I got upset at bedtime and it pretty much ruined the night for me. Couldn't sleep until about 1am, then awake again around 6am

+ odd visions of torture/restraint harnesses that involve embedding an iron peg in the head of the victim and then attaching that to head mountings and other restraints (must have been a dream because I can't remember anything else during the day like that)

+ [vague, forgotten] some outdoor adventure with people?

+ [medium long sequence, fairly vivid but low awareness] driving a very high public bus in city traffic. My view is really high, like from the top of a 2 story bus or even higher (more like the 3rd story). Merging in and out of traffic with other busses, going through stoplights. It seems like I have to stop at every building and wonder if the passengers are going to demand a stop at every building.

Arrive to building and enter it on foot, get on to an escalator and we stop, there are people riding ahead of us, we have to wait our turn to make progress, the escalator forks anlike a "Y" and goes off in two directions, I'm mostly looking/going on the left fork There are attractive young women on the escalator, long hair, beautiful, I think <my location> sure has a lots of hot women!" Finally making progress, I'm following a (cheerleader? the outfit looks like that) who has no panties on and is flashing her <ahem> when her skirt bounces
up, I also notice a lot of purple bruising on her bottom.

I move on from that group and into a ladies' clothing area/dressing room. There are parallel rows of racks of women's clothing hung up and at the end of each row is an (open) dressing room. Each room has someone changing in it . They're mostly in panties but I see about the 3rd one from the right is topless and is really quite large/endowed in that department, I get a bit of a look but as always am a bit shy to be boldly staring. I move towards the rightmost aisle and feel a bit sheepish because I want to ask the manager if I can try out a woman's outfit that I want to preview for my [1st] wife. He says "of crouse!" and I look at the outfit (but don't put it on), I'm closely inspecting the material [DS], and I notice a lot of blotching on the right sleeve as I look at it, and think this suit is spoiled, but then my wife arrives and says it looks fine.

+ [vivid] turning through the pages of a very large (1m square) standing photo album from back to front, I think this is a purchase requirement for an Apple laptop and the laptop itself is glued/mounted to the first page, once I turn to the front it will be there for me. There are large photos on the pages taking up most of the space, but a few inches around the edges are empty for a framing effect. I notice that a lot of glue has been applied to the photos to attach them to the paper pages of the book, in fact so much that each corner looks like a spider web of frilly/hazy white glue (I think I touch a bit of it). Flipping through the book I see many faces: individuals, mostly young, it seems to be like a school yearbook. Guys, girls, single, and in groups. I'm looking for a particular woman and only see her at the very front, she is standing to the (viewer's) left in a group shot, she is wearing a lot of makeup. She still looks different than expected [and no laptop, forgot about that in the dream]

Didn't take any L-theanine, only took 500mg L-tryptophan, and BOY what a difference! Poor sleep (LOOONG wakeful period about 4:30-7 or longer), no dreaming, until miraculously I was able to fall asleep between around 7 and 7:30, and had some dreams, which I remembered fairly well, especially the ones closer to waking. But fairly weak, low awareness, presence generally low

+ observing two girls (in a park?) by a fence, a young girl and her older late teen sister. I have some eye contact with the older sister, briefly. Then another woman lies near them. I have a vague view of the older girl's and the woman's privates. My [deceased 1st] wife goes to take a closer look at them. I think they're gypsies. MEO

+ back inside my home, I'm doing something (reading?) when earlier wife comes in and asks me to do something, to which I feel irritation, but then our sons (as young boys) both enter the room and this alleviates the need to do anything / get up and I feel relief.

+ I'm walking outside on a path (snowy?) pass by two young women walking. I glance to the right and see a rectangular (black) sleeping bag laid out on the ground on a spot I think where people sleep. I arrive to a place where I'm looking for son S1, he's supposed to be doing something productive (studying?) but instead I see him peek out from around a wall where I know he's playing on the computer instead.

Later I'm walking and hear S1 screech and think he's cut his arm very badly, and is bleeding. I come up to him, he's seated with his back to me, and he is cradling his (right?) arm like it's hurt. I do not see any wound.

+ I'm inspecting a low garden fence [DS, inspecting an object closely] and thinking about its construction. The front is a bit weather-beaten and rotting, while on the back side, where it's open and you can see the construction, the wood seems in good shape. It is constructed by a bunch of vertical rectangular wooden boards all bound together. A section farther on is a combination of brick, mortar and wood, and the seam between the brick and wood is badly done and the brick part wobbles loose if you touch it. I wonder about the good wooden part, how it's not rotten if it's been exposed to the rain for a long time.

Then son S2 is digging around in a box around the brick area and a very large insect emerges, I think at first it's a pill bug, that sort of big and scary bug, but it gets bigger and crawls out, and I end up bashing it with a stick or something and it deflates and is stunned, the texture like a partially deflated mylar balloon. Son S1 and I get close to look at it and I see a head of a rabbit, and I think & say that this was a zombie bug that infected the rabbit. We have now to put the rabbit out of its misery, I'm squeamish and get son S1 to do it, I think he'll have to cover it with a blanket and stomp on its head to kill it, but I think that this will spray its guts all over the place and be very messy.