Entries with no category
earlier: + outdoors, deserted planetscape (Amazon's "Night Sky"). Standing up against a building which is a living being, and is breathing in and out(?) + [vague, frag] bombs? snow? WBTB Long BTS Brain churning Get a grip finally and start doing TWR's four-petaled colored drop and dakini lotus in throat visualization: yellow, green, red, blue, <repeat>, eventually fall asleep Start seeing dreamlets: people walking past, close-up view standing before a brick wall + playing basketball [DS] with a small volleyball [DS] in an indoor white-ish court, lighting medium/low. I'm making shots, a fading jump shot and I nail it, then I dribble down to the other side of the court and attempt a reverse layup with ball spin, and I miss. I then try to hook the ball in with while standing under the basket and a bit to the right, again with spin, on the left side, but I also miss. Step back a bit and swish a shot Head back to the other side and try a long distance (about 3-point distance) shot, specifically using strong wrist action, I'm standing at about 45 degrees on the left side (facing basket), using the wrist action to really aim the ball, and the shot is strong and ends up being a line drive with no arc, and heads right for the basket, but passes just below the rim through the net, missing, and the ball continues on and lands and rolls fairly far off the the court in an open area where my wife L is doing something with rabbits or stuffed toys, I'm waiting for her to throw the ball back to me. Later on (in waking or in dream) I'm telling Sensei about this dream I had. I think (in the dream) he's be impressed by some of my shots. + in a light hallway/stairwell with a man with whom I just concluded some deal (?), and he is now offering me (and wife?) the opportunity to invest in 3 real estate deals. I'm on the fence if I want to participate or not, it's risky, but the returns could be good + in a room some people around, there is a round table with a cardboard box of left-over pizza on it. I open the lid and look inside and at first I see just a few pieces of leftovers, but I decide to eat them anyway. I open the box again to pick these up but I see further back in the box there are a couple still whole pieces. I pick up one of these full pieces and it is really thickly covered in cheese. I detect (or anticipate?) some nuggets of sausage there, too. I'm taking some bites and I'm turning away from the people so they won't see me eating it (?) [DS]. Then the manager of the pizza place is commenting on the order volume from different sources. + moving from gas station to gas station in some relatively remote area, vague details, something about eating corn, a row of corn kernels all stuck together. I'm on a motorcycle and it needs repairs, but the current station is busy, I'm going to have to go back to an earlier station (where a guy was playing violin?) + <return to real estate deal stair/hall-way> an older man is teaching a young child to play violin. I notice the finger action the child uses to produce the different notes (the hand is not on the fret, just in open air). The emphasis is on the bowing position. There is a long bar across which the bow is being drawn. The teacher is showing a style where the downbow is long and slow and the upbow is where the rest of the notes of the measure are played all together. The teacher (and I am thinking along with him) emphasizes that in the beginning, it is good to learn to draw the bow and play using the full length of this bar. The student is bowing and the bow is leaving white resin marks on the bar showing where it contacted the bar, and the bow is moving up and down the full length of this bar. + [FA?] I'm trying to find my computer glasses. There is a large bowl of glasses and cases on top of the high left-side commode to the left of the TV. I eventually find the glasses I was looking for [true in WL]
+ small girl and boy: outside in large open area, almost a white void, nothing really there, a few counters. Walking around with them. Tell the boy he's fat? (he's not), joking/chatting with them, I say "the shark is going to bite you on the <foreign word for butt>" the girl laughs + animated 3D graphics movie, photographer advertisement: I'm observing the 3d graphics characters as the filming is ongoing, I'm thinking it's not very high quality, or that it's not an interesting movie. Then I see a sign for a photographer advertising his services, it says something like: 7:00am - 7:19am, $789, I think wow that's expensive, but I also think in that time he could take hundreds (500 or more) pictures. + car (honda accord) occupied by gang, changes to old beige convertible with top down. I'm walking up to my car (white honda accord) on a city street, it's parked at a curb, there are lots of people around, I think what if there are people inside? I get there look and indeed there are black gang members in the car, a guy (with beard?) in the front passenger seat and a (goth?) girl the back seat right side. They're just chilling there. I yell at them s/l "GET THE F^&* OUTTA MY CAR!". They have no intention of moving. I stand up, in shock, wondering what I should do. Call 911? Would they even come to a report of "there are people in my car"? I'm in the city of PA, I could just call the regular cops? should I just get in and drive somewhere? Then I look back at the car (at some point the girl who was large/fat was sitting on the roof?) and there is no roof. I say "what did you do to the roof?" but I recognize that the car is now a convertible and that the roof is just down and maybe they'll make fun of me and point that out. Then I see that the car is entirely different: it's a long, 1960's-70's entirely beige colored (paint and upholstery), large convertible wagon. "What happened to my car?" I think?
2022-12-20: + in my room, on my laptop looking at (inappropriate) material, videos maybe, the screen zooms out of my control, and at that moment some guy enters my room. I'm frantically trying to cancel and close the video but the zoom feature is stuck and I'm pounding on the keyboard to try to get control back + outdoors daylight group of weird young people: two girls have <female privates> on the back of their heads, some dynamic action, squirrel woman? + church loud singing girl take up woman comes down her hands are bound leather metal ring In a Church large high ceilinged cathedral, slanting seating like in a stadium leading up to where the roof meets the floor, the priest and choir are chanting/singing but it's hard to hear them because there is a group of people behind me (leading downwards, I'm facing upwards as the floor climbs up) who are talking very loudly and drowning out the choir. There is a girl who is crying, her mother takes her up to the top there are beds/pods there and lays her down there, then comes back down to where I am in the pews, there's a guy next to me, (she has the face of a squirrel? don't remember this but it's in the notes), her hands are bound up over her head with a small black leather belt and there's a 1-inch chrome metal ring protruding out of the top of the leather belt. + kiss the pretty girl, "you're so beautiful!" (purple outfit?), observation platform up above: do they see me? We're lying on the ground in this open area, her teeth are fairly pronounced and her lips are thin + long table tea party with spitoon(s?) turns into meeting on language evaluations, "we used to be the rainmakers" (This is the observation area from the above scene?) People are sitting at a long narrow table [DS!!!!] like a picnic table. I'm observing from one point and everyone is sitting a few feet in front of me. There's one guy with a spitoon for his chewing tobacco (and he's spitting into it?), other people are serving and drinking tea, I wonder if someone's going to pour the spitoon out mistakenly as tea? Moving back up the table towards where I am people are reviewing documents, an opened book, I see a lot of words written there, it's a language guide? The group are instructors teaching (English? Linuistics?). Two people who have fallen out of favor and are no longer leaders of the group say "We used to be the rainmakers" (meaning leaders). The leader is turning the pages of the book and evaluating the students , there is wording there describing the characteristics of each student (?) 2022-12-21: + earlier (didn't write any notes): fight in the snow on LaLom blvd in B hills? + in a bank: indoors, large open area. Row of agents on higher elevated area on stools sitting at counter, they're sharks giving people bad rates? I'm discussing a (loan? financial transaction of some kind) with bank's team in the middle of the large room. I pull up a high table with a tall chair and bring it alongside the large conference table at sit on the stool, the banker asks what I'm doing, I'm angry and say that the table is too low and uncomfortable and I'm upset about discussing my private information in such a public space. The banker (team of them) then moves our meeting to a private meeting room on the side of the open area. + in a family reunion? I'm walking behind my mom and I see a guy walk past her on the right, shouldering her obviously on purpose twice in rapid successsion. I get mad at him and call him out and say it was on purpose. He jumps on to a long table [DS] flopping on his back in front of some other guys sitting at the end of the table. A couple of my relatives get up and leave the reunion in protest to how my mother was pushed. I decide to stay and continue to listen and side of move to a hiding place and crouch down ------------- It becomes a product troubleshooting meeting. They're talking about problems with the products. I stand up and say I'm glad I stayed to listen, and tell them that I have seen the problems myself: using my concrete printer I have notice that the plastic parts are too brittle and tend to shatter. There is an idea of urgency in needing to address the problems and get the product launched as soon as possible. + company N screen: an employee is demoing a screen technology, sitting at a desk in a large open indoor area [DS], this screen material has the special property that it highlights movement of objects that are (not supposed to be there?), I think this would make it a great material for a fighter jet windshield as it would highlight (the objects get brighter to make them easier to see) incoming enemy objects.
BT 00:45 19.12.2022 + walk past company N group, they do not respond to my greetings. Outside, daytime, walking in bare hills? + company N stock window: standing about 20-30 feet back from a service window counter with 4 open windows with 4 parallel lines with people standing single-file. I'm in the 2nd line from the left, and it's the "purple" line. My line surges forwards and I see a bit closer to the front. Each window is different, and has a big title over each window, a range of digits, which I think has to do with the purchase price that the employee has made in the (ESPP?) plan. My old friend and colleague JoWei is at the front of my line, and is handing in pieces of people filled out in a matrix style. I think and say that these look like bingo cards. + JTy conversation. Company N colleague, asks me "how did you like the <conference>?" I answer that "I'm bummed, because I thought that somebody [from company N] would have called me back by now. JT says "call me, then I will be able to call you" (because it will be answering my call as opposed to reaching out to me, which he's apparently not allowed to do). + discovery and publication of an important math function, books, featuring arrows, the theory has been evolving over time. In a covered parking area at night time, I see pages of the books discussing this discovery, it involves diagrams with arrows on them. + screaming at (actors? characters?) from the hobbit on a dark hill just below me, trying to fly up to the top, can't fly, (they're dragging at my feet?), I'm screaming about how bad the movie adaptation was? waking WBTB came downstairs BTS (about 0.5 - 1 hour later?) + I'm preparing for a fight against an opponent, I have some apprentice (young girl?) who will fight my opponent's (dog?). I will fight with my sword, it is a long sharp slender rapier. I'm trying to find it. There are a pile of short kitchen knives, serrated knives, even a long and heavily serrated blade, but this is not my sword + sitting outside in daylight on a high ledge with son S2 on my left and S1 on my right. I say something about <term for oral sex performed on a woman>, son S2 says "c**t lips and a**hole!" I say "did he just say c* and a*?", son S1 says "vaginal...<something>". ------------ I move to the left, I'm hanging/floating outside a building's (2nd floor?) window, I'm inspecting growing vines there, I discern that there are cherry tomatoes growing there, (out of season so I'm a bit amazed?), I comment on this to the owner, I fall down towards the ground on my way down I pass a mass/web of (poorly seen) dark blobs which I think are spiders, continue down and I see another, larger such blob: dark/hazy poorly seen large clumps of spiders. Can't move on the ground, struggle to move, wake up in bed jerking my arm. + in a room indoors, neutral lighting. There is a girl there, babysitting a small weird creature. It is vaguely human, very small, with a small head, sort of "Dobby" looking from Harry Potter but smaller. It is sort of slightly moving around and wagging / turning its head. I say "he's so small!" she answers "yes due to his (medical) condition." She lies back raising her arms up, I notice some black pit hair, I think this means <other places> are hairy, too. I'm looking at her and wondering if I can engage with her. Is she too young? She mentions how dirty this place is (apparently my place?), how "you haven't picked up since I was here (2 weeks ago?)". I look around and see a lot of McDonald's wrappers, I begin picking these up. I see a number of sauce containers peel-off tops around and also pick these up. + With wife L. She's upset that I'm spending time (returning to?) a group led by "Hagrid" (?), she doesn't want me spending time there: "Leave his group!" she says. I say OK, you know best. She is either topless or in a tight halter/tank top and looks really sexy. We go to relax in a "water pod," we put our heads inside, and look up, and I'm amazed that I can breathe easily inside the water. final waking ~09:50, OOB 10:06
Big celebration date yesterday, awesome day & evening, late bedtime (almost 01:00), and early waking (~06:00) Got up, some computer time, keep the lights low, feel really tired, wife & dog wake up and come downstairs, I decide to return to bed and sleep more. I feel asleep and had a number of dreams including one short DILD! + my wife L and I are in a vacation home/rental. It is a mess. How have we managed to create such a mess with all of these things, I don't know. Picking it all up and packing it will take forever, I think. The owner/manager comes by. I have a discussion with him about the cost. The terms $15,000 comes to mind, but that's too high I think. I think it should be more like $9,000 which is much more reasonable. I ask him for an invoice showing the cost. He says he doesn't do invoices. I say/wonder, how can I make sure I'm paying the proper amount without an invoice? + I'm flying outside between some medium-tall (8-story) buildings, future-istic and rounded in shape. I think it's a very effective flying technique to image that you're a bird and fly to the top of nearby buildings. I try that and do gain some altitude. There are young people on the rooftops, some of which are large open platforms. There are musical groups playing there. I arrive to a group and intend to join, another guy arrives and stands on my right with a (clarinet?), he's also late to the group. + [LUCIDD #281 DILD] I'm walking in an area indoors with an open area in the middle, a long rectangular area with completely clear, transparent water, full of fiish. I recognize this as a dream sign, and I'm looking at the fish to see if there are any large/unusual fish, as this is usually conclusive of dreaming. I don't see any, all the fish are small/medium in size and look normal. I feel completely awake, and feel a bit silly in doing a state test, but I decide to do a nose pinch to confirm, anyway, and to my great surprise, I can breathe! I am surprised by this and repeat. I notice when I squeeze my nose it feels a bit harder than in waking. There are some girls around, but I don't want to get sidetracked, so I decide just to do a few short touchings. The first girl is blonde, but rather fat and hairy, naked, and sitting with her back against a wall, she's sort of catatonic and zoned out and doesn't respond to me or my touch. Her knees are bent and each arm is resting on top of each knee (?). I immediately turn from her and walk past another girl and touch her briefly, "Niiiice!" I say... and I quickly turn from her to avoid getting distracted, and move outside through a set of doors. I feel things fading and quickly bring my hands up to rub them, but my waking hands move in bed and I'm awake (FA? Don't know, fell asleep again) + [f] walking outside in a city scape, people around, go indoors, onto a stairway, something about a big guy?
Bed time super late, ~01:00 OOB 08:48 2 mag threo caps, 200mg l-theanine, 1 sour cherry cap fitbit says 1h42m deep, 59m REM awake at 7 or 8? + outside on street, see former dog B [deceased], then walk past him again, I think he may be dead, but then I see that he is trembling and his eyes are darting around at high speed, I think he's in severe distress and needs to be put to sleep. I want to call wife L to have her come and help. I'm concerned though that this will upset her. There is a parallel story about a police agency searching for a criminal gang, and a truck that I'm using that has been used by the criminals. I do not want to be associated with the criminals, so I want to call my wife L and then destroy a business card that I'm carrying, to rip it up so the police can't associate me with the criminals. The phone number involves the digits "1" and "3", I push the buttons on a push-tone phone. -------------- [not sure it different scene or different dream] Walking outside on street, walk past two young guys talking boisterously. One of them has replaced his hands/arms with robotic arms with huge robotic hands that are like pincers or a bulldozer digging head. They are heavy and dangerous, I do not want to get hit by those. I think he pushes me with them they are very strong. I wonder about how his brain and nervous system was interfaced with these attachments, so that all he needs to do is to think what he wants to do and they respond. (I also think that this is a sort of depressing thing to replace human arms with machine arms?)
+ [f] moving through dark rooms, there is a locked door + with people who are rebranding a famous piece of music to be performed under a different stage name at B university, I see the tickets/banner for the concert, it is very clear, black and white lettering. I'm drilling someone with questions about how a musical group treats people. I want to know how they treat the members of the 2nd violin section [I don't play violin!], before I consider joining the group. I get upset that they are not addressing my questions [DS!!!], so I keep repeating them and getting more intense and angry. + with sis P and BIL M at the piano, P is giving advice on how to play a particularly tricky part of a piece, it involved reaching up under one's crotch and playing the notes that way, she also showed an approximate way of playing it, by reaching in to the piano and plucking the strings directly. I make the observation that "a piano is just a horizontal harp with keys" WBTB 8mg galantamine, 600mg AlphaGPC, can't fall asleep for like 3-4 hours + at P & M's house, she is holding her baby [FALSE, no baby] in her arms, it takes a massive loud crap, I guess this means the diaper needs to be changed. I walk around her looking at her and I see some vague light beige "poop" has spilled out of the diapers onto her arm. I ask "anything I can do to help?" Someone answers, "No, P&M need to deal with this themselves". ------------- Walking around the house, I feel *really tired*. I have no idea how I'm going to be able to drive myself home. I wonder what time it is, I find a clock, it is only around 7pm, I'm going to have to figure out how to last the rest of the evening until the end. --------------- In the kitchen, I wonder if everybody likes the coleslaw I made, I ask them, I see dishes on a table with remnants of various salad dishes. ------------ + [LUCIDD #279, DILD] I'm in a large open area, sitting on a white table, I look around behind me and see my bag/wallet there, I think oh man I left those there, I hope nobody stole my money. I try to open my wallet to look inside, expecting it to be empty, but someone can't open it. Then I'm in the middle of a bunch of beds (it's a furniture store apparently), a huge wide open area, there's a woman there, I get lucid and come to her and we make out for a bit then the dream fades + I'm lying in bed in "my house" [FALSE], I look around, I'm confused, I see the dark brown/grey wood paneling on the walls [FALSE] I don't remember how I got home. I think about ordering some professional "companionship" and wonder how I'd pay: with credit cards? + [LUCIDD #280, DILD] Awake in a bed in a different house, I feel constricted by my clothing, like I really can't move, I sit up and try taking it off, look around, see that it's both a room in a house, yet it's open and in the distance I see a city skyline in bright daylight, get lucid, and despite the difficulty I'm having moving and the really tired/stuffy feeling in my head, like it's filled with cotton, I say "well might as well explore" and stand up and move to my right, which is towards a raised area which seems to be an office area and a kitchen. I catch a glimpse of movement there and think this is my "wife", and I "know" her name is "Vicki." "Vicki, here I am," I call out, "and I'm <ready for frisky time>", I get to the kitchen and look around but there's nobody there. Continuing to the right I enter a sort of utility closet/hallway area with a black door and a doorknob, I open the door and enter the garage. The visuals are really hazy, I have the impression of large white fluffy/fuzzy things, like several large cars parked next to each other all covered in snow [but I don't recognize it as snow]". Nobody there, still want to get frisky with "Vicki," so I go through another door which I think is a shortcut back into the living area where I started. Back in the living area, I look around and catch another glimpse of movement around a corner, move there and see "Vicki." She turns to face me, she is up against a desk or cabinet. I come up close and look into her face, at first her features are caucasian and really pretty, medium long brown hair, and I tell her "You're gorgeous!" Then as I study her face it begins to rapidly morph, like my mind is rifling rapid-fire through a series of remembered faces, her face changes many times within a few seconds, mostly to variants of young Asian women, sometimes to abstract things like a mask shape. "OK, If you're Asian, that means that you'll have <a particular anatomical feature>, pull down her pants to confirm this [not super clear], and begin some frisky time activity. In a second or two the dream fades.
bedtime 2022-12-14 00:45 final waking & OOB 08:45 very decent dreaming night, good variety through the night and fairly good recall. Short bit of lucid-like control (spiderman web-slinging) at the end but not counted as lucid. final dream upsetting but still vivid and interesting. Long awake period starting around 06:00. LONG, probably 1-2 hours at least. finally made it back to sleep and had a series of fragments/short scenes earlier: + [f] in a kitchen, we're cooking something, I'm wondering if we have enough flavor packs to cook what we want to, or if I'll have to go to the store to buy more + [f] standing in the rain looking down a tree-lined long, straight, dirt road + [f] lying in bed with wife E, TV is on beyond foot of bed, I have a control, there is something going on with the volume? I'm on right side, I lean over and take E in my arms and say "I loooooove youuuuu!" + in a (work?) bathroom, large, multi-chambered room with high, tiled walls, pathways leading between the chambers, I put my plate of food with (chicken nuggets and tater tots?) down on the counter, I go to another chamber and want to get back and can't find my way there for a while, I do get there eventually and the tater tots are gone, there is a man there and he comments something? + in a work cafeteria line, with a girl, the cafeteria counter extends for a long distance straight in front of me, on my left, I'm thinking that the girl I'm with will have the beef, there are large cuts of beef and all sorts of meat with a worker stationed there behind the counter to slice and serve it. + in car outside old PTL home, kids party, I'm taking pictures from a hidden location inside my car, my wife E is outside the car to the left. I get out of the car to my right, I'm trying to move the pictures to a hidden location before I'm seen, I don't make it in time, my wife walks by me but doesn't look at what I'm doing + I'm at the pool with my young kids. They're in the water. I particularly see S2. There is a large crowd of people at the gate waiting to get in to the pool area, on the other side of the pool from where I'm standing something is blocking them so they can't get in. WBTB LONG BTS, but success! + I'm a guest in a house, my dog's fur is all over my clothing and getting on the carpet/blanket , won't invite me back be, vacuum it up, yellow balloon stuck in vacuum, plug in to vacuum module, but no bag so dust bubbles out making a mess, the guys there say "Hi, <my name>" + sitting on ground on blue mat in group people all around, waiting for some talk/presentation to start. My feet are out in front of me, bent at the knee. Two young guys (mid-late teen) sit down right at my feet and begin playing a game. They totally ignore me and don't care about impinging on my space. The one on the left is leaning his arm on my leg, and I'm trying to reposition my feet so that they're not sitting right on top of them. After a while of me moving my feet, the guy on the right looks and me and says "What's your problem?" I get mad and retort "I was here first! You came and sat down right on top of me!" + [DO view] two small airplanes nearly collide in mid-air, they land, they avoided collision by adjusting their wings, both have wing structures where about 1-2 foot length of the tip of the wing can fold back onto the larger wing, reducing the wingspan. I think this means (when the tips are folded back and the wings are shorter) that the plane weight can't be supported as well. The pilots have landed on a hill overlooking a large flat area below with buildings and hangars, and they are planning a stunt where they take off/glide straight down the hill, perform a loop-de-loop then land and park inside the hangar. + actress recites long speech in scene being filmed (in a library? multi-level), then the main actor enters and misses his mark, the director cuts the scene and talks to the man about where he's supposed to stand, then he praises the actress saying it was an ideal performance. I look around and see a level below the current level that we're standing on. [Long final dream follows with multiple scenes, remembered transitions mostly] + need charger for my flip phone, it's in my bag but I've left my bag somewhere see room with desks arranged in it -------------- trying to call wife L, phone doesn't work right, resets after a short time if you don't dial the full number, try to call her on speed dial she must be there Finally get a call to go through but a man answers it, I'm upset at this, he's like a photographer and my wife is partaking in a work bonus where she gets to do do a photoshoot. The man is irritated and quickly hangs up on me. ----- standing at food table, my belongings are spread out all over the table, blocking other peoples' access to the table, one guy comes from the right and wants to get at the food, I'm trying to gather up my things getting them out of the way, there are so many things to gather up. I do clear some space and see the food: they are open-faced sandwiches, mostly just bread with cheese on top, like croissants or just slices of bread with shredded parmesan on top. I open up a back door and it leads outside to a deserted parking area, I hear Mexican music playing and think of getting some tacos somewhere. --------------- I enter a convenience store, I think I'm here in CA so I might as well get tacos or some corn tortillas. I see some tortillas stacked (not packaged) high on a shelf above eye level. I look at them, they're not all that appetizing but look mostly OK, I walk around to the other side of the shelf and see ready-made small burritos. Further inside the store there are a lot of people standing in line to order their lunch. The line looks too long (it must be the lunch hour) so I decide to leave and go somewhere else. At the exit a manger woman is sitting at a register, there is a turnstyle exit that only lets out one person at a time as a security measure. There are two buttons there and only one of them opens the turnstyle, people get hung up on that. My turn comes and I press the right button along the right wall, it is the wrong one, then I press the left button and it works. ------------------ I'm out side and flying along a freeway, it is night-time: very dark twilight [DS], there are no cars on the freeway, I have a feeling that it is 1am, how did it get so late so suddenly? I think it may now be too late to call my wife. It being so late explains why there are no cars on the freeway (I'm fllying along the right shoulder). I have a very dirty large white sponge in my hands, and I want to throw it away, but I think, "Hey, this is CA, there will be a garbage can along soon" so I hold on to it to wait for a garbage can, I look along the road scanning for one but don't see one and forget about the sponge. I take a right off of the freeway and am flying high in the sky. It is still dark. I fly past a floating platform where a couple of (police?) security cameras are mounted. I want to call my wife, I'm not sure of the time, I think I will get the accurate time if I land and take out my iphone. I also think that I need to go to her apartment, but realize I don't know the way, how could I have forgotten it? I sort of get an idea but it's not clear. I see some buildings nearby and decide to land on a roof to call her. As I approach the buildings I fly up and gain a lot of altitude unwillingly, I want to land, so I decide to do a "spiderman web pull" where I shoot the webs from my hand and then do a sharp pulling movement, I do this and I fly quickly right towards the roof and land. I call my wife and I get through to her. She's upset. She says "I found what you had in (your report/presentation?) on your hard drive, it's DISGUSTING, and I found other things, (if I tell you what they are?) you WON'T be happy". I'm shocked, she's broken up with me, I'm just standing there with my mouth open in shock, and I slowly wake up in this very upset state, I'm lying in bed on my right side with my mouth open.
bedtime ~ 01:00, final waking ~11:00 (w00t!) + walking through B hills (down LaLo) with MiOliv [frid] we come to an open area and I have the urge to fly. I launch myself but I fall. MO jumps down very far I can't believe he doesn't break both his legs when he falls + on the LHS plaza there's a lot of police action, I had received a phone call and the black-uniformed B police are there to interview me about it + in a club/restaurant that is filled to waist level with water, I see that the new management has installed stepping pads on top of the water to make it easier to get around. I walk by the manage's corner which is a desk on carpet in a corner without water. The manager walks by me and stuffs some cash bills into my hand and says for me to take care of the place while she's out, but she's given me so little that I doubt that I'll be able to do anything effective. I walk by the (statue?) of some guy in a narrow part of a corridor, he's large with a big round head and face and I notice the beard stubble on his cheeks/chin, I think he perhaps was a (golf?) competitor with me. + in a large room like a hostel or hotel bedroom, there are beds there, I'm in the process of checking out (?) but not really ready to go, 2 women arrive and sit on my bed/chairs and won't move, I notice that the beds are really dirty WBTB Long periods BTS, success! + Sherlock Holmes type detective story on HC, I'm carrying a hose with water shooting out of it and I walk over to the Man's house and look down their long driveway. We're folding a large flapping sheet/flag. Walk towards entrance of HC and look up in the sky and see dancing bright lights [DS!!!! HOW DID I MISS THIS! Such a solid DS!], they become dogfighting planes shooting missiles at each other. As I watch, and as they dodge and maneuver, they come closer. They look very CG with wireframe visible along with the texturing. Some fly right over head very close by. One lands next to me, sort of round-ish Millensium-Falcon looking, I'm lying down now on my back, the thing after landing is the size of a large toy/child's model airplane, I wave to it. + SOmeone is making bootleg Nintendo cartridges. The trick is using a cracked version of the security chip inside the cartridge. In a store selling these cartridges. + [f] see a girl's [ahem]
Competition night #4 2022-12-05 00:00 Key: + [f] = fragment + = dream -------- = scene boundary [true] [false] memory notes, true or false [DS] = dream sign (?) = unsure about some detail [vivid, etc] = notes about dream quality and characteristics (lighting, location urban/suburban/outdoors, etc) [ss] = short summary, detail coming later [DR] = day residue, from a waking experience/memory Bedtime ~ 23:25 2022-12-04 [time uncertain] + I'm in (my?) home [false] and I go outside to a terrace. There is a group of people there, some seated on a railing and some standing behind it. They are all looking at me, with a sort of disapproving expression, some I think are people who used to live here, and I want them to go away but they stay right there. I also see RitDal and her parents [including deceased mother]. She is thinking that I will have (to do something? consequences?) for my <foreign> residency. They wonder if I know about the relevant laws. I go back inside and a large built tall young man comes inside, too. We make some sort of transaction with cash. + I start an lengthy calculation on the computer, set to use all the CPU time. Walking from my room into another room, someone monitoring the computer system says the CPU usage is spiking, I say "yeah, that's from me, I'm compiling a shader." I return to my room, it's fairly large and mostly empty, there are windows on the right wall and in the far right corner a large bed up against the windows. The computer desk is against the window wall to the right in the close corner. I look this room and think I'm one of the lucky ones to have a single room, this is unusual, and I can rest here because of the bed. A colleague (small asian man?) is with me and we go to the computer table. [very groggy decide against WBTB, BTS] [05:00 waking, bathroom, WBTB, MILD using above scenes, set intent for LD] [A number of short dreams/fragments interspersed with wakings follows] + I'm in a room in a medical clinic. I see the (young male) doctor in the area outside, I recognize him as having seen my on a prior visit (and performed some procedure?). My kids and I are spinning "tops" (like cymbals of different sizes, mostly small) via wound-up cord, 2-3 of these. Outside on a walkway through a door I notice a very high inverted-"V" shaped climbing wall (like used for dog obstacle courses), several stories tall, mention it, son S2 says yeah, they had one of those. I leave the room to the central nurse's station from which rooms radiate in all directions. There is a man from a neighboring room there, I go to his door [more? forgotten]. Back in my room there are kids taking popsicles from the (bottom) freezer of the fridge, kids are coming in to the room to do this. One of the kids takes the freezer door with her. "Hey, you can't take that!" I tell her. She says her mom said she wanted in in order to wash the kid's dress (there is a small basin indentation in the door that could hold water if turned upright). I tell her to leave the door and instead ask the nurses for a washbasin. + [f] Lying down on my back, my 1st wife E is kissing my stomach. I think some "frisky" time with her would be a nice change of pace. [Notes: "clinic for men", "modelling project", I do not recall any detail about these phrases!] + A war games scene begins on the ocean. A plan has (crash?) landed there by the docks. I go to look at the uniforms of the soldiers to see which ones are good guys and which ones are (German?) enemies. One solider is cowering with his knees drawn up in a corner, there is one with an enemy patch who is in a small jar. I take the jar and open it, filling it with water, and screw back on the top and let it sink in the ocean, I think this is sort of messed up drowning him like that. Inside a room then with my sons as small kids, I see that they have contributed to the pile of magazines on the floor, but I see that they've added magazines in <foreign> language, I'm concerned about backlash from this and tell them pick them up from the pile. + I'm walking with my son S1 and his wife to go register all of us at B high school, my old school. We're in downtown B. I know a short-cut to the office and lead is there. We're there on the large campus, I look around and wonder what S1 thinks of this school, it's really large. I "remember" that the office is in the center of a long building on the far side of the campus from where we enter. We go there and I'm trying to figure out if we go inside or what, then I see that there is a service window with counter that opens up to the outside and that other students are lining up there, so I figure that's where we go to register and get our class schedule. We're going to need to present out passports as ID. I'm a bit concerned that the officials will notice all the <foreign> stamps in our passports and that this might be an issue. + [f] standing at the registration desk for a preschool, located on a high walkway. The young kid who's registering has brought home baked cookies and we hope that these are sufficient to be admitted to the school. Behind me on an external stairway leading down are other parents waiting in line. OOB 07:54
Competition night #3 2022-12-04 00:00 Key: + [f] = fragment + = dream -------- = scene boundary [true] [false] memory notes, true or false [DS] = dream sign (?) = unsure about some detail [vivid, etc] = notes about dream quality and characteristics (lighting, location urban/suburban/outdoors, etc) [ss] = short summary, detail coming later [DR] = day residue, from a waking experience/memory Bedtime ~ 00:25 2022-12-04 first waking (~04:19?) + walking in large indoor space, mall, with a group of young work colleagues, pass a group of professors who are discussing which lecture to attend (they're leaving the area/university?), up ahead is a wall where old things are stored (?), as we walk by a group of young guys kneeling on the ground among large piles of old computer printouts they call out my name, I stop and turn to them (wondering how they know my name) and they hand me some old university CS printouts of my projects (which I apparently never picked up from the computer center?). I glance through them and say I want to see the coding style of "old coder me," and this elicts a snicker from some of the guys, I mumble something about being very structured (in order to write cleaner/safer code?). ------- Walking along a hallway I see some small (red?) round objects with protrusions on them. I know these are round boardgame pieces that have had external anchors attached to them with protruding bits that stops them from rolling (makes it easier to pick them up, they don't roll far away from you). These are very popular right now I know. I'm at a check-out stand with others behind me in line, parents are buying presents. WBTB + MILD, several minutes sitting up on edge of bed, visualizing scenes from prior dream, seeing myself recognize the dream, getting lucid, and performing compeition goals [take 300mg AlphaGPC (no galantamine), to see if there's an effect on the 2nd night after taking galantamine following a somewhat long BTS was a fairly long series of dreams, many scenes, vivid, and in two separate cases I was writing in my DJ in the dream.] + [f] in room at table eating plate they insist I share. I sit down, on the right end of the long table, my plate is full of food. The guys there want me to share and I'm not particularly interested, think they should have brought their own. + [f] at table outside looking at/talking about/ adjusting the blanket there, the blanked is spread along a long bench + [f] GHW Bush in outdoor confessional cabinet (the size/ shape of a port-a-potty) with raspberries on long stalks sticking out from cabinet + get into car with JSH (company N) toothpicks are broken up on the ground, pull up to stop sign, a bit too far, kids want to cross, woman cop tells JSH to back it up, he does but then yells on the window at her the code number of the law that justifies how he was driving, he's arguing with her. I'm sitting in the back seat, put on my seat belt, but realize I've ended up in the uncomfortable middle seat. There's a guy seated to my right. I take off my seat belt and move to the left seat behind the driver and put back on the seatbelt. ------- I arrive to a large open area there's a high table packed with very advanced instruments, like electronic microscopes and telescopes. I'm being interviewed about my time with JSH, I mention that I'm not really interested in JSH knowing my name. The crowd then calls out "oooooo!", like they think I did something bad and don't want the boss to know. There's then a scene with a woman who is manipulating "high definition" displays, with a side-by-side comparison between low and high definition. The high definition screen, though, has a lot of sparkly noise on it, about which she is commenting. I see the noise sparklies. ------- In a room with re-tiled/stone floor, sunken in middle, we're redoing the floor in the house, I look at and observe the pattern of materials on the ground (CL is there?). The floor is largely spotted marble, and I wonder about the decorative correctness of that quantity of similar pattern spread all around the (fairly large, otherwise empty) room, boy tosses stone fragment onto the ground and I shout at him repeatedly "DON'T THROW STONE!" (because it will break/shatter). I poke/pinch him, he pinches me back in retaliation, I pinch/poke again, he does it back again. I say I'm not trying to punish him, just get his attention. The woman cop from the traffic stop is here (we're in a relationship?). A lot of people are standing around in the room. ------ Standing with a large crowd of people outside a pool where they are playing a game (water polo?) The pool is raised up and the surface of the water is at shoulder level. The ball flies in our direction (I'm standing with my female cop girlfriend?), I reach out my hand and "bop" the ball throwing it back into the game action. [waking, reviewing dreams, planning keywords to write, specifically about GHW Bush] + [f] outside, daylight, writing my DJ entry about GHW Bush into a ceramic ashtray with a pen that is not leaving much ink, some people (old men?) are around and I think wondering what I'm doing + [f] walking down a hallway with a friend, we pass the door of a room where a girl I like is, we knock on the door and move down the hallway a bit (not to look too desperate?) and when she opens we stop and turn back and talk with her. My best friend MR is there at a corner, he's saying we have a full itinerary and we need to get moving [DR movie Darjeeling Limited] + I'm (lying/sitting on ground?) writing my DJ (on wood? The pen is leaving no ink but is writing words by leaving an impression in the wood) when my wife L walks up to me. I don't want her to look in to my DJ but she does. The words I'm writing which she sees are "oh, mom," and I explain this is not the phrase "oh, mama," as in an outburst made when seeing an attractive woman, I don't want her to be jealous. Thought: "the ants are coming." + in group sitting on floor, 3 women enter the room. They all have been exposed to very bright sunlight and have light/dark marks on their faces showing the outlines of the masks they were wearing. (something about "sun discs"), I'm lying with a girl who likes me, she takes my right hand in hers, one of the woman is my wife L, I don't want her to see, I feel conflicted about this, I take my hand away from the girl's (but she takes it again)? I ponder the complicated love triangle we're in, I don't want to hurt my wife. (The girl with me is the female cop?) ----- I'm standing outside (in a KFC drive through?) trying to figure out where to spend the night. My (cop girlfriend?) says I should (come stay with her?). I make a decision and say "why bother? It's out of my way." (the current location is where I need to be in the morning. I think I've made a confident, correct decision (that I'm going to ditch the g/f and remain with my wife?) [final dream/waking] + walking along a river on the embankment (on right side relative to direction) with friend, they go down to water and start wading through it, the water is totally transparent [DS] and I see fish swimming [DS], they grow larger as I watch, they swim by my friend and I call out to check out these huge fish. There are a lot of them, sort of baracuda looking. As they swim by him he (or a cat with him) jump in surprise. I'm looking for a way to get to him. I look down and see ladders leading down straight into the deep (green, not transparent) water, I don't want to get my feet wet. I see a way across eventually, I sit down on the edge of the overhang over the water and reach my feet to a raised pipe/valve on the far bank and scoot/hop down to that side. The way forwards is either directly via wading in the water, or I notice there's a sandy path curving up along the sloping bank. My son S1 is behind me and he says something, I respond about my hip being troublesome, I catch a reflection of myself (imagined? no mirrors here) and I'm in my 20's, slim, but with no muscle definition in my arms. OOB 09:25
Competition night #2 2022-12-03 00:00 Key: + [f] = fragment + = dream [true] [false] memory notes, true or false [DS] = dream sign (?) = unsure about some detail [vivid, etc] = notes about dream quality and characteristics (lighting, location urban/suburban/outdoors, etc) [ss] = short summary, detail coming later [DR] = day residue, from a waking experience/memory Bedtime ~ 23:49 2022-12-02 (many different fragments and dreams throughout the night, not clear which ones belong to which wakings, there were a lot of later wakings 01:20 took 4mg galantamine 600mg AlphaGPC and right back to sleep 03:38 waking with lots of vivid recall + [f] there is a building being constructed [outdoor, daylight, city] + twilight [DS] baseball [DS] at bat run to 3rd watch for coach big fight runner running to 2nd + working with Samual Jackson he is creating a concrete bunker on the ground using spray-on concrete, I give him a piece of metal from my retainer [DR "The Boyz"], later I separate myself from him I don't want to get caught. He's building a very impressive structure with many shapes and forms, it's on the ground. + leave work building (quiting / was fired?) with packet of electronic components, final outer door security turns me back ("gotta pay for it or put it back"), there is a big dessert party going on inside it's impossible to put anything down anywhere, all surfaces are covered with large gooey tasty looking desserts: cakes, etc. people sitting around tables eating + [f] in multi-level parking garage, there's a screen (gets cracked?), I'm standing between the levels, someone comes + [f] shooting a guy in the back of the head through the back window of a car/bus (his head is right there) with a machine gun, I'm thinking about the speed of the bullets, he must be dead, I then watch the progress of the vehicle he was driving and confirming that it's now rolling out of control, there are other cars around and maybe other enemies 06:08 probably final waking + [f] escape with the sapphires pasted into book are they real? I think they're fake, they are pasted in pouches into the pages of a book, somebody's trying to smuggle them out. + [f] in old PTL home in kids's rooms, insepcting the structures on the walls: boards there attached for posting drawings, etc. + [f] Talking with son S1, he says how his goal in life is to run a specialized (fishing, scientific) ship/boat, I'm concerned about the prospects for the future for this choice + I'm furious with a surgeon who operated on my eye/eyelid and now my eyelid is frozen in the open position for life. I scream at him "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO!?" he doesn't answer. I more calmly (but still agitated) insist "Tell Me Exactly What Happened!" He then says "OK I'll answer you" and describes how (I see visuals inside my head as he talks) about how the prep for the surgery involved drawing red cutting lines along the eye and apparently these were out of position and cut a critical tendon or muscle. I say "Now I'm going to have to walk around with eyedrops and squirt them into my eyes every 10 seconds for the rest of my life!". Then I'm moving with someone (maybe that surgeon?) in to a restaurant, we're being seated, a waiter has our plates of food, I see other people seated as we walk by, someone ordered the same thing as me and the plate is half-eaten, and the waiter comments "That guy did a good job!" (eating as much as he did), I don't see how it's so good. The plates are placed on the table, it's a round white plate with a round brown piece of meat and other things like peas.
Better sleep despite an awake period after delving for "earlier" dreams, and fairly good, varied dreaming, decently vivid I'm scribbling written keywords notes on all wakings with recall now earlier: + working the blinds in my childhood home room, trying to open them, fiddling with them a lot; looking at cactus plants on top of my dresser in same room, flower (artificial?) arrangements, on which beetles (which morph in shape/size as I watch) are crawling + best friend MR proposes a game to play: someone poses a problem, and you need to propose some solution [more involved than that, don't recall]; I don't really want to play but say I will + hunting on a hill with a rifle on a large open field sloping before me; a large group gathers; moves indoors, thoughts of some large gun arrangement; look out window to group of kids below, "they're waving at me" so I wave but they're waving to someone else instead outside on a girder + some question about an old Harry Potter inside a tunnel with a lot of moss/dust bunnies that I'm clearing away from a doorway + in grandma's house: close up view of an ornate wooden table, decide to go to bedroom, see "pop up 3d" pictures of family member faces on cardboard stands; in the room see baby picture of me making a frustrated face and I'm struck by how much this looks like a baby picture son #2 later: + broken ipad, the screen is all messed up, I'm upset at this, the room is full of tech equipment, I pick up a router from the floor and place it on a table + [f] at a rest stop, I need to choose some (long, tree) saws to throw away, they're all bent and unusable, someone is interested in them? + [f] parking a car, too close to the crosswalk I think, there are no better places + [long, fairly vivid] Fo.Gi. (WFP, college, deceased) is alive: divorced, not dead, skype convo, I leave, he's upset, calls me "prick!", with DD (FG's wife), talk with her new parents in law, I tell her how I was surprised to see FG, I retell the FG story in a room full of people sitting at tables + Outside/snow/flush flood, I'm shoveling it and causing rivulets to run, my car is stuck several cars back and go to it but I see it's entirely flooded, guys there point out my frozen horse in the ice flow river, floating on its back with its legs up; I hitch a ride with a trucker and talk about the names of the local university towns, I'm holding a cart-sized wheel in my hands + trap house: blow small objects through multiple tubes to "prove" there is no beast lying in wait inside, look down ramp to open area and see evidence of other "blown" objects, move to other side of house and monster emerges, I stay on the high ground to avoid it
Felt like I was awake from 23:30 until about 07:00. No dreams in that time. Then slept until about 10:30, sporadic wakings with some recall: early: + [vague, early] doing things with people in indoor locations, some sort of adventure? mid: + With young g/f (probably too young for me I think) in room, close door, want to get frisky, notice door knob turning, her older sister is in hallway (enters?). I see the door knob turning multiple times. Concerned about someone entering / not having privacy [DS!!!] + Take off flying with friends in open outdoor area from high place in front of a huge (massive!) fir tree, spot another group of flying people, we tangle in a brutal flying gang-fight, banging heads against boards, etc. I notice the fir tree branches and needs close up, it's beautiful [waking walk in pine forest 2 hours yesterday] + Visiting a pizza parlor where everybody orders toppings from an external vendor, which are then delivered in a group to the restaurant individually packed in plastic bags, people pick up their packs of toppings then hand them to the parlor cooks to complete the order; they have particularly fresh cherry tomatoes and basil, which is why everybody uses them + late: + standing on lawn looking at street at old CA home, my home is behind me: my car's parked on the street blocking someone else's car. It's closer than bumper to bumper, my car seems partially parked into the back seat/hatch of the car in front. There's no way that car's owner could move. If he does some I hope he won't be upset, I'll just rush down and repark my car in a second, so he shouldn't be. Then the car's owner arrives and he speaks through the car window with (my dad?) in another car about something, I think he's talking about like how I park in my driveway, I see him gesturing towards my driveway so I imagine this is what he's saying, I feel the need to go talk with this guy and settle any issues he has.
+ Many scenes in an office, revolving around my work cube: sweater gift, I get a brown wool sweater, and drape it over the entrance of my cube (and put two shoes underneath it to make it look like someone is there?), get a 2nd sweater gift? They take away my monitor, but this is OK because I have a laptop, I move to the side a bit and there's a large screen there that I can connect to from my laptop to work, but there's a guy there with a game controller playing games. Large, purplish game scene is on the screen. There is a guy running through the hallways and bellowing like a berserker, he's a D&D player and his character is a warrior so he just swings weapons around. I think about the other characters that round out a good campaign group: mages, clerics, thieves. I tend to like playing thieves but they have their limits [false I like mages]. Walking past a table, there's a guy there with red berries left on his face from eating pie, there's some talk or presentation we need to get to (?). They take my back wall of my cube, which means my desk is now connected directly to the desk of the cube next to mine, and while working we're going to have to be looking directly at each other. There is a girl who's been promoted ahead of me, and I think this is a case of severe ageism. She needed the larger work space(?). She's leaving anyway and donates her promotion equipment back to some other employee (her manager?). I find some guy and ask him about my professor: what are his office hours, where's his office, where are my classes? (He doesn't answer, but tells me that there is a limit of printed or plastic reading materials that each employee is allowed to keep)? Continuing to seek information on my prof and classes, there is a desk (raided above ground level) where a bunch of female secretaries are working, I ask them, (one comes down to me?) CrgLe's [WFP, uni B, grad school] discrete math book, I invited (?) CL to my cube, he is reluctant to come, he has his Discrete Math Puzzle book with him, I look at the cover it is colorful with example of many sorts of physical puzzles made up from colored blocks and objects. He explains something about the idea behind the book. The promotion girl is meeting with (HR?, Banker?) in order to get her salary, she sits down at a desk across from the rep, and asks for some deposit slips. I'm standing a bit back from the desk watching. The rep immediately takes out a pad of desposit slips and starts writing down the girl's salary on it, I sneak closer for a look, I want to see what she earns, I wonder if that's a weekly amount?
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