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non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

In an Inception like dream, I dream that throughout several days and nights I dream sequential dreams with revelations that I later share with my mother. These dreams are very vivid and reveal information about my alien DNA.
In my first dream within the dream, I am attracted to a forest at night and find myself in a circle of people coming from all directions towards a strange eerie female figure surrounded by light. All the others freeze on the spot. I also feel paralyzed, but my feet lift off the ground and I levitate towards her. She says she has been looking for me. All the others also got the message and were attracted to the forest, but I am the one with the DNA she is looking for.
I want to know more, but she must depart immediately and says she will return to provide me with more information. I catch from her telepathically the word "Trvo" and then I wake up (in the dream).
I tell this dream to my mother and she believes it was a real experience.
Next night I have another dream. The female appears again, now at my home. She reveals I am the daughter of Trvo Årven. She doesn't want to say more, but again I collect images from her mind, telepathically. I see this man, he is tall and handsome, with pale skin and completely white hair. Kind of nordic elfic type. He is in a remote mountainous fortress, he guards something or someone very dangerous. I sense something wrong, I sense that he is alone and about to be attacked. I don't know much more. I don't know if this is the past or the future. But this woman confirms that I am in danger and that I must stay hidden until she can figure out what to do with me.
When I wake up (in the dream) I tell again to my mother. She is totally convinced I am in danger and someone will come for me. She says that we have to go, just grab a few things and leave. When I have the essentials and join her at our van to go away, she surprises me saying we must take with us a pet pig she is taking care of. I get the unexpected job to go grab the pig

WAKING LIFE DREAMING LUCID
BOLD IF IT FEELS PARTICULARLY SIGNIFICANT

This dream is from the night before the night before last


Book-ended Children

Children running down a sloping sidewalk that curved back and forth. Stone wall along the sidewalk. Cobblestone ground. My consciousness looking down on them as they ran toward “me”. Saying to myself I remember this, I remember reading this. My mom was showing me another reel.

There was something forced about what the children were doing. they didn’t like it but they did relatively well at pretending. I think I knew more about why, that it had something to do with the parents, but I don’t recall now.

Mom put on another old reel. it seemed to be of my father’s side of the family. I knew he would like to see it and wondered at my mom having it instead of him.

In waking life my father idealizes tradition and is also an extraordinarily creative and brilliant man. I think he idealizes being a child, simple carefree yet responsible times. He was a “hippie” black sheep in his family when he was younger. That side of my family had a lot of power that was used for massive capitalistic gains and political influence. There is corruption, greed, addiction, and yet amazing intelligence and creativity smattered around the people. I am curious and feel it is important to know more about this family history. It also makes me feel sick to think of knowing more. My fascination and desire to know the different sides of my family (and myself) usually wins out, though. Well, at least in the internal battles of which I am aware.

I watched the reel on an old contraption that displayed more like a television than a projector. My mom stood to the side, close to the moving picture.

Soft thwacking noises like an old projector. I could almost see the frames as they shuffled past, specks and lines of light flashing and morphing with them.

A man (I think a/the/[my?] father), somber and proud like in older photographs, sat on the right, looking at the camera. The children to the left of him in their sitting positions, and then sat a huge man in a tuxedo complete with tailcoat. The two men were like bookends, the children between them. We’d only been watching it a minute, and mom already wanted to change reels. I said no, I want to see them when they move. I said their body language would be very significant, would show me more about who they actually are. It felt intensely important and I was riveted.

The large, hulking man stood and walked to the right. Maybe 8 or 9 feet tall, who knows, maybe 10. Big, round belly, sloped shoulders. (He reminds me of the way my maternal grandpa looked when he was dying of cancer, that same kind of oval shape, but much more extreme, and more solid and thick.) I didn’t think he was a family member of mine. The father (it was my impression I think, though perhaps it was a waking reflection) stood and slowly walked to the right. I watched his body carefully (from where the audience would be if there was one) and couldn’t tell much about him from the way he walked. It was so slow, as if he was favoring physical pain. His stiffness swallowed up his personality.

There were a lot of dream characters projecting their personae in this dream, like they were conforming to older, more serious social pressures. Personae that were hollow yet strong. Weak, deep, and shallow and full of tightly woven rules.

I feel an association between the father dream character and my paternal great grandfather, father of my father's father. I never knew him. It makes sense, given my grandfather’s and his brother’s dichotomies, success and greed for one, creativity and susceptibility in the other. Or so I've interpreted and oversimplified.

The trickle of this history of family emotions is a reason I think this song taps a large body of water inside me.



“I am out here studying stones
trying to learn to be less alive
using all of my will to keep very still
still even on the inside

I've cut all the pertinent wires
so my eyes won't make their connections
I am holding my breath
I am feigning my death
when I'm looking in your direction

...when all the forbidden fruit is fallen and rotted
well that's when I'm gonna come down"

Even if they’re partial hogwash, I feel love flowing from new understandings.