I had another dream last night where me and my sister were stuck in Granddads old car in a rainstorm. When this dream started, I was with my mom and younger sister at a party supply store we used to go to when I was a teen. We were in the store to get decorations for a 4th of July Cookout we were going to be having at our house. We were getting all sorts of red while and blue themed decorations to use to decorate for the cookout and also got fun things like sparklers and party poppers. When we got to an aisle where there were costumes, mom saw an Uncle Sam costume that was on sale and decided to get it so our dad could dress up in it. Me and my sister both tried to talk her out of it, but she insisted on getting it since it didn't cost much and figured someone else would be willing to wear it if dad wasn't willing to. As we were walking towards the checkout lanes, mom noticed that red while and blue balloons were on sale and got several bundles of them as she though it would be fun to use them. Once mom had paid for everything, we walked out of the store to the parking lot where granddads old tan reliant was parked a few rows away. When we got to the car, mom opened the trunk and filled it up with as much of the stuff that she had bought at the party store as she could. Once she had the trunk full, mom unlocked the front passenger side door and told me and my sister we would both need to ride up front with her. I stood off to the side for my sister to get in first, but she reminded me it was her day to choose her seat and I was sitting in the middle. I reluctantly sat down on the tan vinyl bench seat which was really hot and scooted over to the middle seat and then fastened the tan lap belt around my waist. My sister than plopped down in the passenger seat to my right and then fastened her shoulder belt and then closed the passenger side door. Since it was hot in the car, I rolled down the driver side window while my sister rolled down the passenger side window. Once mom had everything loaded in the back seat, she took the shopping cart back to the party store and then rather than joining us in the car, walked to the supermarket that was a few stores away. Me and my sister had to wait in the car for a while until I finally saw mom walking out of the supermarket walking towards the reliant pushing a shopping cart. When she got to the car, she unloaded the shopping cart into the back seat and then went to take the cart back. After returning the cart, rather than coming back to the reliant where me and my sister were waiting, she went to the liquor store that was a few shops away from the supermarket. Almost as soon as mom went into the liquor store, it started to thunder really loud and then pour down rain. Me and my sister had to hurry to roll up the windows as the rain started coming down even harder and harder until we couldn't even see the liquor store that mom was in. While me and my sister waited for the rain to stop and mom to get in the car, something started to really stink in the car but me and my sister couldn't figure out what it was. The rain kept coming down really hard and there was nothing that we could do but sit and wait in the car and try to deal with smelling the horrible smell. Eventually, the rain let up enough that mom was able to leave the liquor store and make it to the car and sit down in the driver seat to my left. As she was putting the key in the ignition, she noticed the smell and asked us about it. After a few times turning the key, but not being able to get the car started, she asked if me and my sister may have stepped in dog poo because it really stunk in the car and smelled like poo. My sister quickly checked her sandals and told mom there was nothing on them. Before I could inspect my shoe, mom noticed I stepped in something and then my sister let me out to clean it. I woke up from the dream while I was trying to get the dog poop off my shoe and mom was trying to get the car started.
I had another dream last night where me and my younger sister were trapped in granddads old car during a thunderstorm. When this dream started, I was standing in front of my high school waiting for mom to pick me up. It was a really hot and humid day and I was burning up waiting for mom to get there. Eventually, I saw my granddads old tan reliant pull up with mom driving it and my younger sister in the front passenger seat. My sister reached behind her to open the back passenger side door and I got in the back passenger seat and closed the door and then buckled up and them mom pulled out of the parking lot. We were heading towards our house when mom made a turn and then soon we were in the parking lot of our Home Depot store. Mom told us we needed to stop and get grass seed and fertilizer for our yard and plants and soil for our garden. We then all got out of the relaint and followed her into the store where she got a flat cart and then followed her to the garden area. Once she had the cart full of everything she wanted, we all waited in line for her to pay and then I pushed the cart and followed she and my sister to the reliant in the parking lot. When we got to the relaint, mom filled-up the trunk will all of the plants she had bought and then filled up the back seat and floorboard with the bags of grass seed; fertilizer; and potting soil. Once everything was loaded in the car, mom opened the front passenger side door for us to get in and my sister told me to scoot over to the middle since it was her day to choose where to sit. Once I had sat down and moved over to the middle and buckled up, my sister sat down in the passenger seat and fastened her seatbelt. Mom then closed us into the car and took the cart back into the store. While me and my sister were waiting in the car for mom, it started to pour down rain all of a sudden and me and my sister had to roll up the windows so we wouldn't get wet. As we sat and waited for the rain to stop and mom to get in the car, we both noticed something really stunk and my sister started accusing me of tooting in the car. We could do nothing but sit and wait in the car as it was raining so hard we couldn't see the Home Depot store where mom was trapped waiting for the rain to stop. After we had been waiting for what seemed like forever, then rain finally started to let up. and I saw mom running from the store towards the reliant where we were waiting. She quickly opened the driver side door and then sat down in the driver seat beside me and quickly shut her door. As she was putting the key in the ignition, she asked me and my sister if one of us may have stepped in poo because something really stunk. We both denied it and my sister told mom I was tooting. Mom then turned the key to start the car, but couldn't get it to start because the battery was dead. As she was taking the key out of the ignition, she looked down and noticed that I had stepped in dog poop. I woke up form this dream as mom was telling me there was poo on my shoe.
I had a new dream last night involving my mom, sister, and my granddads old Plymouth Reliant. This is the first time I have had one of these dreams in several months and this one was different from any of the others I have had. When this dream started, me and my sister were at the pool we used to spend a lot of time at when we were pre-teens and teens. I was playing with some friends when we heard thunder and then the lifeguards ordered everyone out of the pool and the off of the pool deck. Soon my mom showed-up to give me and my sister a ride home. We got our bikes which we had rode there and the followed her out to the parking lot where granddads Tan Plymouth Reliant was parked. The exterior of the car looked like it always did when he was alive & healthy. It looked like it had just been washed and waxed. When we got to the passenger side, my mom unlocked the front passenger side door and then told me and my sister to sit down on the front seat. I stood aside for my sister to get in but mom pointed to the middle of the tan vinyl bench seat and told me I was sitting there. I reluctantly got in; scooted over; and fastened the tan lap belt around my waist and then my sister sat down in the passenger seat on my right and fastened her tan shoulder belt. Mom then reached behind us to unlock the back passenger side door and then closed us in and then put out bikes in the back seat. When she had then in, she went over and talked to anther mom picking up some kids while me and my siter waited in the car for her. While we were waiting, I noticed the interior of the Reliant was also super clean like my granddad always kept it when he drove the car. A few minutes later, my mom was unlocking the driver side door and then sitting down in the driver seat on my left side. My put the key in the ignition and gave it a turn and the reliant started right-up. This is the first time I can ever remember the reliant starting up in any of the dreams where I was riding between my sister and mom in it. She pulled out of the parking lot heading towards our house. As we were driving towards our house, mom told us she need to run by the grocery to pick up a few things for dinner and then right after that we were in the parking lot of the grocery we used to shop at. As she was parking and then cutting off the car, she told us it would only take her a few minutes and for us to stay buckled in the car since we were in our pool close. She then rolled down the driver side window before getting out of the car and the closing us in. I saw her walking towards the grocery and then disappearing inside. Not long after my mom went into the store, there was a really loud clap of thunder and then the bottom fell out and it started to pour down rain. I quickly reached over and rolled up the driver side window while my sister rolled-up the passenger side window. It then kept raining harder and harder while me and my sister were stuck waiting in the car for mom to get done in the store and come back. The rain was so hard that we couldn't see the grocery store and sometimes was coming down hard enough that we couldn't even see the car parked on either side of use. Sometimes the right would start to ease-up and I would hope mom could make it out to the car but then it would start raining heavier again. There was nothing me and my sister could do but stay buckled in our seats in the car and wait for the rain to ease up. As me and my sister continued to wait, the car started to become more and more stuffy and we both noticed something really stunk but couldn't figure out what was causing the odor. Since there was really heavy and mom had the keys with her, there was nothing we could do to get fresh air in the car. After a few more times of thinking the rain was about to stop only to have it get heavy again, it finally died down enough for mom to make a run from the grocery to the car with her grocery bags in hand. As she was walking in front of the car, I reached over and opened the driver side door and she quickly thew her grocery bags in the back seat and then sat down in the driver seat next to me and slammed the driver side door shut. As she was putting the key in the ignition, she also noticed the odor and told us that something really stunk. She turn turned the key to start the car, but the engine would only turn over and not fire-up. She kept turning the key trying to start the car but could not get it to start. While she was trying to start the car, she told us she thought that one of us had stepped in poo and then looked down and noticed there was dog poop on my shoe. I woke up from this dream about the time she said this before she went back to trying to start the car.
Was in a basketball court inside a school. I ended up growing from my original height to above 7 feet tall and had trouble as I left the court with my head touching the roof of the hallways. I went around looking for help until I saw my mother sitting on a chair taking a phone call. As I am rushing to her I become lucid and wanted to tell her that I'm in a dream and that for some reason I still needed her help to return back to my original height. She kept ignoring me on her phone so I grabbed it and told her that I am in a dream and that I need help. She looked at me with a confused and irritated expression before telling me to go away. I lost my lucidity afterwards.
Failed dream stabilization in DILD I am on my way home, carrying groceries on the sidewalk of the quiet street passing by the house I live in on a cloudy day with a darker lighting of the environment suggesting that the time of day is soon to be or already is dusk. I'm not sure if my mother is with me, but she could be. Suddenly, I become lucid. It might have been a random thought about lucidity which triggered this. But I immediately start slipping out of the dream but try to rub my hands and to look at them to stabilize the dream, but I am already on the threshold of waking up, strangely controlling both my dream and real body at once, but apparently my stabilization attempt soon failed and I find myself having waken up. I got too stressed to journal again. I'll probably continue for real once summer holidays come around in nearly exactly a month. I actually chanted a mantra and used a special thought technique I can't really explain to kind of bypass the way you'd usually have this only incubate a fake lucid dream instead of actually causing awareness, and I guess it worked. It's like I went "behind" the normal thought? Only I really know what I'm talking about with that, I guess, at least I hope at least I will if I rediscover this some time. Nobody ever understood the way I explained how my brain worked. People tend to think these are metaphors, but I feel like I physically navigate my thoughts. While that's not what happens, of course, that's the input I'm getting and doing the same "movement" produces consistent results. It's weird like that. Also, I'm tired so I'm rambling about this, probably mostly as a big note to self so that I can reproduce this, since this is the first time a technique just straight up worked first try to that extent. I do wonder why the stabilization didn't work, though. And I tend to always find myself kind of "blind" in dreams, I've noticed that here as well. It's like my whole vision is covered by a blind spot, like how your thumb disappears if you move it into the right location, it makes it hard to stay in a dream. I feel like I only know some of the visual information because I just kind of know without seeing it, and that's annoying me. But I can't say reality is a whole lot different, honestly. My perception is always weirdly "blind" like that, like a very insidious form of tunnel vision. Enough rambling now. I still think this was probably the closest I've ever gotten to stabilize a lucid dream, so overall, this was a success. Good.
I had another dream set at the beach last night. What I remember most about this dream was this beautiful blonde who was probably in her early 20's. When the dream began, I was walking from the pool area to the beach looking for my friends. I couldn't find my friends anywhere but while I was walking around looking for them I bumped into this beautiful girl who was also looking for some of her friends. We started talking and soon we both forgot that we were separated from our groups and we were flirting with each other. As we continued to talk, I was trying to find out more about her like where she was from and how much longer she would be at the beach. We were suddenly interrupted when my sister showed-up and told me I needed to go with her because she and mom were ready to go and I needed to go with them. I remember feeling humiliated both that my sister had interrupted my conversation with the girl I was into and that she had announced to the girl that I was riding home with my sister and my mom. I then follow my sister through a beach access beside the resort to the parking lot where the Reliant was parked. When I saw we would all 3 have to ride up front, I tired to get my sister to get in first and scoot over to the middle, but she reminded me I was not supposed to be riding back with them so I needed to get in the middle. I went ahead and got in and scooted over to the middle and buckled up and then my sister got in the passenger seat and closed her door and buckled. While me and my sister were waiting for mom, I heard my sister say here comes your girlfriend, and then saw the blonde I had been taking two walking from the front entrance of the resort out to the parking lot. I was staring at her as she walked by and hoping that she didn't notice me and my sister waiting in the old reliant. I watched and she walked over to a red Ferrari and got a bag out of it and then walked back to the resort. I remember thinking not only was she hot, but she must also be really rich. As I was watching the girl walk into the resort, I saw my mom pass her on the front steps and then walk towards us while the girl disappeared into the resort. When my mom got into the Reliant as usual she could not get it to start. After spending several minutes trying to get it started, she got out to look under the hood and while she was out of the car, I saw the girl and a really muscular guy walking out of the resort and towards the Ferrari. I was thankful that that got into the Ferrari while my mom was still looking under the hood and that they did not notice me in the middle seat waiting for mom to get done and get back in. When mom finally got back in and began trying to start the car, I noticed the guy who had been with the girl walking back into the resort. I turned my head and saw the girl was waiting by the passenger side of the Ferrari. As mom kept turning the key trying to get the Reliant started, I kept looking over towards her hoping that she did not notice my situation. I woke up from the dream while my mom was still trying to start the car and my sister poked me in the ribs and told me my girlfriend was heading our way. I woke up right as she was walking in front of the Relaint and turned her head when she her mom trying to start it to see me in the middle of the front seat between my mother and younger sister.
I had another dream with my mother, sister, and the Reliant set at the beach last night. The main thing I remember about this dream was that at the beginning I went to the Cabana Bar by the pools and tried to order a frozen margarita. The girl working the bar asked to see my ID and when I showed it to her, she laughed and told me "better try again next summer". I think based on this, I was 21 in the dream. When I turned away from the bar, my sister was waiting and told me she and mom where ready to go and I needed to ride with them since my friends had already gone home. I then followed her out to the Reliant and reluctantly scooted over to the middle seat and buckled the tan lap belt around my waist when she threatened to tell mom I had tried to order a drink from the Cabana Bar. We then had to wait in the Reliant for several minutes while my mom checked out of the resort, and I had to keep listening to my sisters threaten to tell mom I had tried to order a drink. When my mom finally got to the Reliant and got into the driver seat to my left, she spent several minutes trying to get it started but could never get the engine to fire-up. I remember she eventually though it may need some gas and me and my sister waited in the car for several minutes while my mom walked to a gas station down the road and then came back with a big red gas can. I remember my mom then seemed to take forever putting gas in the car and I was humiliated that everyone who walked past knew I was stuck riding between two females. When my mother got done putting the gas in the car, me and my sister had to wait again for her to take the gas can back to the gas station and then get back to the car. When my mom finally got back in the car she started trying to get it started again, but putting the gas in the car did not do any good. I woke up from the dream while she was trying to get the car started and getting increasingly frustrated that it wasn't starting up.
Infinity nightmare There's something with infinite dimensions. Something is infinitely backward in comparison to a lower integer, because of which I feel an unfathomable amount of fear. Later in the night, it continued, where apparently some number wasn't allowed to be reached, otherwise, it would wrap around to 16, which made me feel the same amount of fear. Buying stuff in a store with school class I am at a store. There, I buy something and apparently I am there with my mother, who is not happy because I am apparently supposed to be there with a school class. The first dream was a geometric night terror as a result of what seemed to be a fever. After I woke up, I was unable to notice that the ruleset of the dreams did not apply to real-life for a while.
Half-Life 2 and imbalanced transformation Apparently, I am Gordon from Half-Life 2 in this scene. Dr. Kleiner is with me in a half-destroyed room. There are big holes in the wall and debris on the floor, as well as a bridge made of metal grating and a pulley mechanism attached to it, which can be drawn in/out from within this room to pass over to another building, like in Half-Life 2: Episode One. He tells me to do something with suit batteries, and I jokingly think that it's weird that the level designers did this, when in the original Half-Life 2 game, they used car batteries. Scene change. I am in the same room of my home where the 3rd dream, 19.07.2021 ended, and am myself again. I am tending to my water snails which are in a jar between many plant pots. Then, I have a fake memory where my mother apparently blew into something which resembles a fallen-off flower blossom, which can apparently transform you into whatever you are currently thinking about when you blow into it, but apparently, she gave it to me but I threw it away for some reason. Now, I want it again, so I look for another one and find one I think resembles it. I know it could be poisonous, so I am a bit anxious, but I blow into it to see if it would work. Instead of doing what I hoped for, it blew up into poisonous plant sap. Scene change. The previous scene transitions by me running backwards into another room of sorts which is hard to describe. It is dark and there is another metal grating bridge, and apparently, if you fall down, you fall into the bathroom of my home from the ceiling. I sit on a duplicate of the sink in my bathroom. Apparently, blowing into the blossom did do something, but it does not work because it's apparently unbalancing the forces, or something, so bad things will happen because of that. Waking up from that was really weird. For a few minutes, I couldn't remember where and who I was and had great difficulty to notice that the dream didn't really happen.
[18.07.2021] Roach escape I am with my mother, caring for my pet roaches. Suddenly, there is thunder outside and, simultaneously, a roach presses itself through a small opening and my mother despairs as is usual with working with such escapists. [19.07.2021] Storm I am at home, laying in bed. I look outside and see that there is a very dark and massive cloud there. Eventually, though, it moves away and I stand up, hoping to take a picture of a potential anvil. Then, I am back in bed and another storm comes around. This time, it does come to lightning here. My mother, who is scared of thunderstorms, says "Oh no.." as lightning impacts somewhere nearby, and the way the thunder sounds makes it sound like that there will be a second thunder that is much louder, but it doesn't come to that, so I comment that it probably wasn't a positive lightning strike. Transformations I am at home, somewhere past about 9 pm, using my laptop in the living room, where my mother is sitting as well, using her tablet. Then, I look to the left and see a bat on the wall. First, I comment on how none of us saw that then I put my laptop aside and run away in fear of the bat attacking me, and my mother tells me that they might bite or something like that. I come near the other end of the flat when I somehow grab the bat. For a few seconds, I am standing in a sort of large mansion with a pretty blue color palette used to paint the inside with the bat in my hand. Then I am back home, trying to handle the bat without it biting me. I think about killing it or something like that as I rotate it in my hands. A bit later, for some reason, I am the bat for a few seconds, and then there's a scene change. Apparently, I invited a friend over, who can make transformations or something. First, we are standing at night at the roach terrarium in the middle of the house and I transform into something there, but I don't remember what exactly happened. Then, after a small scene change where it is now somewhere mid- or late afternoon, we go into a room where we can probably be alone. There, the friend constructs the transformations from animal samples somehow, and I am eager to try it out. First, he wants to make one with snails (Gastropoda)¹, and I am one for a second. Then, there's a scene change again and I am back to normal. My mother wants something from me and I tell the friend to hide what he's doing, and then I go outside to distract my mother. Then, my father comes and wants something from the room so he just goes in, and luckily, the friend had hidden everything except the animals he was taking samples from, so my father asked what he was doing. As I woke up, I felt some disappointment, since it was pretty interesting. 1: This was just because I stumbled across the term on Wikipedia yesterday.
RTG = Radioisotope thermoelectric generator Finding my cat I am looking at some sort of website where we can apparently get a large list of benefits if we register, including ~350€. And apparently, they are saving cats they found alone outside by giving them away to new owners. I am afraid of that because one of my cats is roaming around outside after they ran away, but she always sticks to a certain area around my house, which means I can easily find her. But then I am not sure if she got taken away by that organization. Later, I find her in a bush and one of those people from the organization is wondering what I am doing, or maybe I just thought that they did, but I explain that this is my cat. Later, I think that it might have not been mine and that the cat just looked like mine. But I tell my mother anyway, and I ask if we should carry her home to save her or if we should use one of those portable cat cage-like things. She says we should use the latter. Makeshift RTG I am putting the last piece into my makeshift RTG: the radioactive material. It's this large pellet; it resembles ~2kg of plutonium, but in the dream, it's apparently not plutonium and I am having problems finding the name of it on the periodic table. I think it begins with W. Later, I show it to some friends on Discord, and when I return to it, the walls and ceiling of the space where the pellet is in are red hot, which is apparently according to how it's supposed to work. I feel around about 30cm above the ceiling of the little chamber in the middle, in which the pellet is sitting, and I feel the extreme heat of the chamber, even on my torso. I am also a bit worried that some of the heat I feel might be caused by radioactive particles hitting me. I have made a drawing of the makeshift RTG and also got the picture that the dream got inspired from: Drawings Picture of plutonium pellet
Talking to my mother I was talking to my mother, possibly about a vacuum cleaner. Ghost leviathans: the return My father is watching a video about Subnautica on the living room TV. Once it ends, he clicks on a second video, and the title alarms me to the fact that it might be about ghost leviathans. He starts by flying from the sky down to the water, like with the freecam command. Then he's playing normally and swimming at the top with a seaglide. Then he swims down and I repeatedly tell my father to pause since I with my thallassophobia don't quite enjoy it. He pauses it in the last second before a ghost leviathan would've appeared. Buying dogs I am in a supermarket with my mother, and we see a basket of pugs being sold. We decide to buy them. Then we are at home, which is apparently a farm, built in a weird area right in the middle of the border of 4 or more biomes. There also seem to be some strange temporal and general anomalies in reality. Then I am going to sleep, and on my way, I see that two of the pugs have lied down together on my mother's legs, and I wonder if that can even be comfortable. It also seems we just recently moved, since I felt a bit uncomfortable sleeping there. The next day, I see an old woman sitting on a clearly very old and abandoned swing, on a moderately large, totally overgrown field of grass. There might have also been a seesaw made of solid wood, which has by now totally rotten. I don't know what happened in between, but now she's awake. She tells me she's supposed to have been in a coma for 20 years, and that I apparently woke her up 10 years too early. I tell her that I'll put her back in a coma and that it will feel like only 5 seconds have passed, and so I do that.
Morning of May 2, 2021. Sunday. Dream #: 19,858-02. 3 min 40 sec read. This dream begins with the same premise as a March 4, 2021 dream, though with different details and an unrelated outcome. In the previous dreaming experience, my mother gave me two American fifty-dollar bills and her bankbook. In this dream, she gives me one fifty-dollar note. I consider asking her for an additional ten dollars (imagining it as an American ten-dollar bill), but I do not. In both instances, I want the cash to pay some of what I owe my landlady. I had considered getting the additional ten dollars in this dream for food. Neither dream self version has any level of waking-life identity or recall, including any memory that my mother and landlady had died or that I have lived in Australia since 1994. Because I am sixty years old in real life, the supraliminal association with wanting sixty dollars may be the correlation in this case even though my dream self is only about twenty-five years old here. (I had established that because paper money is associated with being carried in a wallet that contains an identification card, it is a potential indicator of my imaginary dream self seeking my real-life identity to resolve the duality of the dream state. It is different with coins that I mainly summon to increase somatosensory awareness.) I teleport to the King Street mansion (boarding house) to give my landlady the fifty-dollar note. My metacognitive vestibular phasing response predictably corresponds with my dream's ongoing narrative. The staircase does not reach the second floor. Even so, I can maneuver to the door of my apartment that in this dream is the northeast corner room. An unknown male is living in the adjacent room. My dream, for a short time, becomes a typical haunting scenario. I summon an unseen ghost to move objects around for amusement. There are three responses with furniture moving on its own as my landlady watches. (Ghosts most often represent my metacognitive state, where my conscious self is incomplete and "haunts" the dream state, the fundamental reason why I summon hauntings other than for entertainment.) Eventually, I realize I need to get to my technical institute class. However, I do not have a good pair of pants. The blue jeans I am wearing now have large mustard stains on each leg. I try to come up with a way to wear my pants without the legs being visible, warping my physicality as a result. I float around above the missing part of the staircase, using my belt in different ways, and having my pants only come up to my knees. I then recall I may have clothes at my brother's house. I teleport to where Dennis (half-brother on my mother's side) lives. (The bedroom does not resemble anywhere either he or I ever lived in real life.) Another male, unknown, is present (though he vaguely reminds me of a man who lived in the King Street house for a time). I see about four pairs of my blue jeans, one on the bed and the others on the floor. I wonder if Dennis minds if I had left them here. He seems cheerful. As I try to put my pants on, I repeatedly cheerfully sing, "Red red wine goes to my head, red red wine goes to my head." I sway about in amusement. The other male, sitting on the left side of the bed, starts to sing a different line, but Dennis puts his finger to his lips to shush him. I soon wake. At least one dream from each sleep cycle for over 50 years has included my metacognitive concurrence with being asleep in a literal response (though my dreams are not symbolic in a conventional sense anyway). In this instance, it also has the anticipation of waking and putting on my blue jeans. The difference is that, in real life, my jeans were near the foot of our bed on the floor. In my dream, there were some on the right side of the bed on the floor. (As I have pointed out in thousands of previous entries, dreaming features are like this to avoid associations with waking life, the opposite of the majority of people, including "dream eperts," who are not metacognitive dreamers and consequently cannot ever understand why dreaming narratives are as they are.) The wakefulness simulacrum is sitting on the left side of the bed, and in reality, I sleep on the left side (though this is more about the metacognitive catalyst of the dream state above typical errors). Even so, Dennis shushes him as one does when someone is sleeping in the same room. This event has occurred in many past dreams since childhood with different narratives. So why "Red Red Wine?" There are several reasons, the first being the association with how dreams lack cognizance (and absence of intellect) and mind-body connectivity (REM atonia) as when drunk. The line "goes to my head" is a reference to dreaming. There is also a subliminal reference to the unsung line "Makes me forget that I still need her so" (the virtual amnesia of dreaming and how my waking-life identity is otherwise absent in this dream). Red is also a reference to the predominant waking-alert factor as well as blood. Additionally, Zsuzsanna had been focusing on a post on Facebook without me knowing. It was about wine (in a thread of enigmatic space that most people deny, yet is how I dreamt of Zsuzsanna long before we met in the first place).
I had the most intense dream last night. I was watching a video of the day of my birth on a TV screen. My mom (died December 2019) was in the hospital bed, cradling "baby me". I started getting emotional. Next thing I know, I am IN the scene, physically standing next to the bed. Mom and the baby are gone. Suddenly, mom is standing next to me. I basically launch myself into her arms, holding her tightly. All I can utter between sobs is "mama, mama". I had a very strong feeling that this was really her somehow, not just a dream character. But knowing the dream was multi-leveled, I know that can't be true.
I had the car dream set at granddads house again last night for the second night in a row. Like the dream I had the night before, it was really physically and emotionally uncomfortable. In the dream last night, mom was also really snippy and controlling. When mom told me to go ahead and get in granddads car and buckle to the front middle seat, as soon as I tried to argue about sitting in the middle and getting in the car before she was ready to go she snapped at me and told me that I could either get in the car and buckle in the middle of the front seat or I would be grounded. When mom finally got in the car and was trying to get it started after my sister and I had to wait for her for what felt like forever, she kept getting in my face and telling me that I needed to calm down. I never even said anything to her before she started telling me to calm down. When she discovered I stepped in dog poop, she screamed at me about not watching where I was stepping and not checking my shoe when I noticed the car stunk. She told me to give her my shoe so she could clean it and for me to stay buckled in my seat. After the battery went dead after she got back in, as I was asking if I could get out she snapped at me again and told me that me and my sister needed to stay in the car. I woke-up from the dream while she was looking for a jump start. Not sure why she was so snippy and controlling in this dream, but it made me fell even more uncomfortable.
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