• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. 5 Nov: Dreams within a dream about my alien-elfic ancestry

      by , 11-05-2018 at 05:47 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      Back to Dreamviews after more than 2 years away! Wow

      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      In an Inception like dream, I dream that throughout several days and nights I dream sequential dreams with revelations that I later share with my mother. These dreams are very vivid and reveal information about my alien DNA.
      In my first dream within the dream, I am attracted to a forest at night and find myself in a circle of people coming from all directions towards a strange eerie female figure surrounded by light. All the others freeze on the spot. I also feel paralyzed, but my feet lift off the ground and I levitate towards her. She says she has been looking for me. All the others also got the message and were attracted to the forest, but I am the one with the DNA she is looking for.
      I want to know more, but she must depart immediately and says she will return to provide me with more information. I catch from her telepathically the word "Trvo" and then I wake up (in the dream).
      I tell this dream to my mother and she believes it was a real experience.
      Next night I have another dream. The female appears again, now at my home. She reveals I am the daughter of Trvo Årven. She doesn't want to say more, but again I collect images from her mind, telepathically. I see this man, he is tall and handsome, with pale skin and completely white hair. Kind of nordic elfic type. He is in a remote mountainous fortress, he guards something or someone very dangerous. I sense something wrong, I sense that he is alone and about to be attacked. I don't know much more. I don't know if this is the past or the future. But this woman confirms that I am in danger and that I must stay hidden until she can figure out what to do with me.
      When I wake up (in the dream) I tell again to my mother. She is totally convinced I am in danger and someone will come for me. She says that we have to go, just grab a few things and leave. When I have the essentials and join her at our van to go away, she surprises me saying we must take with us a pet pig she is taking care of. I get the unexpected job to go grab the pig

      Updated 11-05-2018 at 05:52 PM by 34880

      Categories
      non-lucid
    2. Queen of the Hunt has Anxiety

      by , 06-09-2017 at 01:41 PM (The Secret Life of Demons)
      Forest

      I arrive at a location near a mountain; lots of green, many trees. I pass a few familiar people, but they're more like spirits (appearance is indifferent, but the mentality was profound). Most appear busy with their own agendas, but it's peaceful. As I move closer to camp I can see people gathering and the energy shifting. Many more of us are arriving and so I stop to observe the increased movement. I realize the reason for the arrival of my people; we're receiving visitors.

      MoSh

      Shred arrives, but I don't recognize that it's him in the dream. I merely stare at him as he walks past me and doesn't say anything. I call out to him, he stops walking and looks straight at me but there's no sense of recognition; he's viewing me like a stranger. I'm also staring at him, trying to figure out why he's so familiar to me. We stare for a long while at one another. I'm uncertain how this occurs but he begins ... chasing me? Not in a bad way? Not in a good way either?

      I enter my camp to evade him because the energetic exchange of being chased startles me. I've been hunted in the past and that mindset he's holding reminds me of past experiences...this internal dynamic causes me to race through the encampment, through a maze of doors, without stopping. I step out to detach from the panicked body.

      My perspective is following a few feet behind the fleeing body. I'm wondering what the fuck happened and I sorta get it. The energy unfolding was too similar to past memories and it triggered anxiety. Makes sense; being hunted for death sorta does that to a person. MoSh may have accidentally held that vibration without understanding the impact.

      Data?

      I reach the top of the encampment and watch as the body I was inhabiting tries to calm itself. The sky is beautiful up here; though I spend less time looking up and more time assessing myself. I notice I don't look like me. This body I'm using looks very tall and lean (sort of Avatar-like, but the body wasn't blue and there was no tail). I look sort of Native American, but a distorted version of it. It's pretty, but more graceful gazelle pretty than American pretty. As the panic subsides, a man approaches. I'm viewing the man as I'm still separated from my body. Personally, I'm wondering how he made it up this far and it doesn't look like the Shred, but I can't tell who it is.

      The body I was inhabiting is clearly still sketchy. She moves around the space without putting her back to the man. The man approaches, stops about twenty feet away from her, and reveals something he's holding. She goes to him and they exchange a few small words. The dynamic of this man calms her (he's tall, a bit stoic, quiet, reminds me of Data due to lack of emotional excitement). The body (hers) is calm enough for me to enter it and so I do. The man and I talk for a bit about weapons.

      He's asking to bring something for us to practice with and wants to know what I want to use. I think it over briefly before asking him to bring something cheap. He and I will spar, I chose archery, he agreed he would bring arrows for next time. Cheap is ideal because it's sparring and not an actual battle; also, I have my own arrows so he would be bringing the items for himself mostly. He excuses himself as he needed to leave to attend to a separate errand. I'm collecting my arrows as I'm going to spend some time up here to practice on my own; alone. We say goodbye and I watch him leave. I'm thinking of how nice he seems and I'm looking forward to our next meeting.

      Death

      I'm at a hospital with my dad, in my hands is a biography and collective work of an artist. The artist has recently died and the book was compiled for his death. I'm browsing through the pages looking at the various pieces of artwork. Most of it is drawn in pen, but the line work is very lovely. One picture I find quite sad--the artist is in bed, the media is black with some lines of a crisp blue. Nothing is obviously sad about the picture, only that I happen to know this was a portrait of the artist as he was lying on his deathbed. To me, it's sad as it indicates the last artwork before he died (there will be no more). I've never been partial to endings.

      A nurse comes into our darkly lit room. She informs us we're going to radiology, they want a picture of his liver. I collect myself and prepare to follow them out of the room. The dream shifts.

      Catch 22

      I open up a connection to my mom to explain what's going on with Dad. I'm viewing her and she looks like she's in a different state (location) for some reason. I tell her we're on our way to radiology and why. Her reply:

      It's funny, no one is afraid of death. Death is not something people fear. People go to the hospital not to find out they are dying, they already know they are dying. They go to the hospital to delay death. What can the hospital (medicine) truly offer? They try to offer time, but they often don't understand death enough to grant time or understanding of the process unfolding.

      It's humorous to me she is teaching me about the process of dying. Her comfort level is high and I suppose she's right; the misconception is death is something to fear when in reality it is a step up from the predicament of living. Seems a bit quirky how backward things are, yet I'm still quieted by the prospect of Dad engaging the process. Perhaps I'm merely jealous he gets to go while I'm stuck dealing with the bullshit of living. Not that I idolize death; but death (abandonment of the physical body) makes everything I do more efficient. Hence, my work is slower with a physical self and this annoys me. Though, if dead I wouldn't be able to share my research so it's a hilariously cruel Catch 22 for me.
      Categories
      memorable
    3. Ah, Signs of Life

      by , 06-07-2017 at 12:49 AM (The Secret Life of Demons)
      Backstory:
      Extremely long story short: I'm a dreamer and I dream with lots of different dreamers, spirits, and entities. I have a very open mind, have lots of relatively cool dreams, but I'm extremely mistrustful and sarcastic. Simply, I don't like most people due to a somewhat higher-than-average intelligence. All this said, here we go:

      3 months ago:
      Nightmares building up to larger nightmares. Not-so-fun lucid dreams.

      2 months ago:
      Captured and residing as a captive in a not-so-fun location. All month long.

      1 month ago:
      Dreams involving a long and painful killing (of me) by my old roommate. At the height of it I was waking up kicking and screaming (so unusual for me).

      June:
      Finally feeling like myself. I ate something terrible in dreams three months ago hence I felt pretty lame until now. I had wondered what revived me and brought me back and it seems it was an assortment of things and people. This morning I woke from dreaming (grateful to have uneventful dreams) and thought of DreamViews. I was thinking, perhaps, maybe some of the answers for what I've been up to might be found here. Having found some interesting details, I'm pleasantly surprised. It seems when I'm on the edge of death I reach out to people. Go figure.

      While reaching out it seems there was some kinship involved and I brought somewhat of a mess with me. Just, let me say this: you should've seen the other guy. I was hoping healers would do what they do best and it seems they had. I mean, they exorcised thousands of demons from me years ago, what's one more dark entity?

      Notes:
      Dreams can be insane. They lead to adventures of consciousness which can't always be rationally explained. How does one rationally explain telepathy? How does one explain that I needed to come to DV today? When there's a strong enough need, desire, or intent this is what often allows telepathic communication to occur. I may not like re-connecting (or even connecting) with people, but sometimes when it's life or death it warrants unusual circumstances. Now that things are decent I'm uncertain what's left in terms of adventure. I mean, I've already done quite a bit for a few lifetimes--I'm sorta hoping happiness and enjoyment are in my future. I'm pretty fucking tired of the whole slaying demons thing.

      Speaking of happiness and enjoyment, I'm somewhat interested in dream sharing if anyone is interested in having their sanity challenged.
    4. March into the Television (and more telepathy)

      by , 05-14-2017 at 09:48 AM
      Morning of May 14, 2017. Sunday.



      I am seemingly in our present home, though the view is more extensive and as if I am looking from a fictional larger area on the east side of the lounge room.

      There are some minor random events relating to family activity. At one point, I notice a line of about six girls. They are walking north in a seemingly impossible way so that it appears that the top halves of their bodies are missing, though actually bent around like a contortionist. I find this extremely strange as I watch. I get the impression that they are going “back” into the television. I am not sure that what I am seeing is “real” or some sort of altered holographic imagery.

      Soon, I see my wife Zsuzsanna in a similar position. She seems to be mimicking the other girls in a comedic sense, sort of mocking what they are doing. However, her head is higher, somehow directly above where her waist would be. (The actual imagery would be impossible in this second case.) She is also walking towards the television but I know she will not go “into” it.



      It did not take long after waking to learn that, once again, I had been dreaming of something that only Zsuzsanna had seen and thought about and not mentioned to me at all. She had been looking at a photograph of a young contortionist in the same position as the girls in my dream. In fact, she even had the same thought on whether or not it was real imagery. Still, there may also be some minor influence from ZZ Top’s “Rough Boy” music video, though this is only a guess, as I had not seen it since 1986.

      This has happened on a day to day basis all my life (even long before we met). I had concluded long ago (even as a child) that so-called normal people are not “all there” (which is something both my parents used to say fairly often as well). Whatever it is, ordinary people are “missing” something, which is so obvious to me (and so consistent throughout my life), it really stands out. I am not exactly sure what it is that is “missing” other than sentient presence I have only felt from a few people in my lifetime. This has never been problematic for me. I could have used it to my advantage in rising up a couple grades in school a few different times (as it was recommended), but I did not want to be away from friends around my own age.

      I still do not know all the mechanisms and dynamics (some probably biological) behind how The Source works. Because many of my dreams throughout my life were influenced directly by The Source or Zsuzsanna (many in a non-current scenario as the so-called subconscious has no concept of time or space, which might partly explain one aspect of precognition), this is one more reason why dream “interpretation” is not inherently feasible (let alone the nature of dreams being primarily sleep induction and waking symbolism which hardly anyone seems to understand at all - despite how glaringly obvious it often is - as I have written before, it does not seem possible that people would not know this). There seems to be no precise way to localize certain events to their event horizon. I could ask, in some cases, if it was me picking up on Zsuzsanna, or if it was Zsuzsanna “sending” to me without realizing it. Certainly when I lived in America, I was distinctly aware of Zsuzsanna “sending”. In other cases though, it seems to be something within me (that is, initiated by me, just below the threshold of direct conscious self identity). Only one other female (Susan) had this. One male (Kenny) was the only male who had strong telepathic presence, but it was sent in musical phrasing. I would have a song suddenly come into my mind and he would start singing it, two examples, the one when I first met him being “After the Ball” (and how many people know that song, especially as it is from 1891), another being “Wooden Heart” (which he also sang in German as immediately foreshadowed - which makes two factors, both the song and the language, so not just “one” layer for people who are unlearned enough to consider it coincidental).


      Categories
      non-lucid
    5. Summary - December 2015

      by , 12-31-2015 at 02:14 PM
      Writing everything out like this in short summaries is very therapeutic. Recurring character is recurring.

      I am drifting over the water. I am dead. I am missing my other body, but what is it? Invisible, impossible, immortal. it is the body which grants me power.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      A single note, at the bottom of one of my journal pages. 'I don't remember why we were in the submarine'.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      Hypnagogia. A single voice on the edge of sleep.
      "Fall back into my tentacles."
      "Excuse me!?" I stammer, but darkness envelops me.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      I am walking with my brother, advising him about some personal struggles he is having. I get him to a read from a poetry book that he has been assigned for school. I haven't read it, but I'm surprised at how good the content is, and relevant to his problems. I tell him to read one passage a day and meditate on its meaning.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      He's under house arrest. Had we been stealing things? I feel like it must have been for a good cause.
      Eggs! Oh man, I want some eggs. He is quickly forgotten in my pursuit of eggs.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      A man and a woman have kidnapped me, ferreting me away into the nearby forest. They need time to cast their teleportation spell, but a warrior woman has followed us looking for me. I manage to sight her through the trees. She looks exactly like me. Perhaps I should have struggled. The spell is cast and the dream shifts.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      I shift, and find myself in a forest. He is here with me, the Sentinel. There isn't a doubt in my mind that it is him. We smile at each other and talk a little, but mostly there is just a silent knowing.
      I have to climb a tree. One of the branches is on an incline and is long, sturdy and straight, but it is broken right up near the trunk. I am small, perhaps it will hold my weight a while, but not for long. He watches me, giving the occasional word of advice. He feels I should abandon that path altogether and climb up the smaller, but more secure network of branches to the side. I think that I can make the best of both.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      "It's 5:70pm," someone says. For some reason, it doesn't strike me as odd.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      I am walking down a street, but I can empathically sense everything about the occupants of the houses without seeing them. One of my friends arrive, so I tell him all about it, forgetting that it is quite normal for a dream.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      We are soldiers in a five-man squad. Zombies attack. I climb to elevation and use my rifle to pick them off. It does not take us long to dispatch them, but our commanding officer informs us that we cannot move on until we find our final party member who has gone missing during the raid. We look around us but cannot see him. Other squads past by and radio messages are sent out, but nobody knows where he is. I think about what I know of him to try and work out where he could have gone. All I know is that his name is Horse, because he is a horse.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      I am in a fantasy game world. A quest giver keeps telling me to take a Potion of Patience and sit still for a while. I should have taken their advice.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      I'm walking, but my vision and cognition are still very hazy.
      "Sentinel? I wonder if you can hear me," I say.
      "I can always hear you," he replies, a voice in my mind. My attention is piqued.
      "Let me go somewhere quieter away from all these people so we can talk," I say. A nice idea, but I am distracted easily. There are people listening to music, and I dance and sing along, thoroughly enjoying it. When I feel I have spent enough time intruding on their space, I turn around. There is figure concealed by shadows smoking and observing in silence. I thank him for letting me enjoy this time, and move on.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      The kingdom is fleeing at the behest of the Queen. A bushfire approaches and threatens their lives. The young royal advisor frantically suggests that we should check on the Watchers, the entities which look over our kingdom, before we leave in case their loyalty should wander in our absence. I go up to their chamber, overlooking the town. The walls are carved stone and the room is well lit. The door opens before me, bidding me entrance. On a stone plinth sits a thick tome. The Book of Kings! I am excited to see it in person. The Watchers fill the pages with information when they wish to communicate with the royals of the kingdom. My mother may be the Queen, but I am not of royal blood. This is a great honour. I sit down, filled with anticipation. The advisor returns, freaking out that we should become trapped in here by the Watchers and never allowed to leave. I snicker under my breath.
      "Just approach the door and it will open for you," I say aloud. But in my head, I think 'Or rather, they will open it for you'.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      I'm taken to a bar by some friends. One by one, people from my past begin to arrive. It feels as if this has been arranged.
      We go outside to observe a ceremony. Hundreds of people are amassed on the banks of a river as a a boat comes through and the ritual begins. Everyone begins to glow red or blue and their abdomens look like interlocking fingers. Each chooses a partner and merges with them, before disappearing and ascending. One boy approaches me, but I ask him to keep his distance. Eventually they all disappear, and only a small number of us are left behind. They will return when the journey is over and they have seen what was intended.
      I seek out an older woman inside the tavern. She is the lover of a wise old Indian man. I ask her about the ceremony, but she does not want to say too much, and I do not want to appear ignorant. She says that the ritual requires the ingestion of a certain mushroom, and that they will return after its effects end. I ask her if she ever joined in the ceremony before, and she tells me that she has not.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      Hypnapompia. My cat is meowing, but it sounds more agitated than normal. My half-dreaming mind translates it into words as I border on the edge of sleep.
      "I'm sorry if I have offended your personality as a lion," she says in my dream.

      Updated 03-26-2016 at 05:05 AM by 89402

      Categories
      dream fragment
    6. Mindcontrolled Minions

      by , 12-29-2015 at 11:27 AM
      D1 - A man with black hair and glasses and a long tan trench coat (he plays villain in a lot of my dreams, he's ok at it), is at a counter trying to pretend to be somebody else to get money or something. The worker, an old man round man with white hair and spectacles is dealing with him.
      He starts to give the villain a phone number and is half way through when I use mind control thinking "no no..don't do it!" He stops in his tracks realising this man may not be as genuine as he thought. The man gets very agitated and starts to kick off. He somehow manages to get hold of something and leaves.
      Outside is a cobblestone street and shops and some houses, leading to a archway into a courtyard. There are lots of general public about but I notice a load of school girls in brown uniforms. I use mind control to take them over and set them after the villain. He is accousted in the courtyard and they drag him away with little fuss, there are lots of them
      I get them to hurt him but then a part of me wakes up to the fact that I shouldn't be hurting dream characters as they are a part of myself.
      With this new intent I re-enter the dream and find the villain escaping down a tunnel leading to the subway. He disappears round a corner, so I use telekinesis to drag him out. He comes flying out. At this point I get lucid, everything feels different and lighter. The guy who looks slightly different now comes at me Oo. I freeze up a bit but have the courage to try and hug my mad(?) assailant. His expression changes ansd he opens his arms to hug me breifly but then lucidity and the dream fade.

      D2 -Outside my parents house (as it was many years ago) my brother is in the garden at night. Inside the lights are on. The fuel storage has been set a light by me. I realise inside is also stored framed photographs of the schoolgirls with somekind of official form and signature. I put ourt the fire and hope the damage is not to great though I can see some are burnt round the edges :/

      D3 - At school I have not prepared the kids properly for some kind of school performance. Other teacher is running through some basic routine, I am planning on being off sick. Class run through basic routine but their is some swearing.
    7. Success with different ways of Teleportation; memorable Lucids; TOTM; Rhino & Unicorn and more

      by , 11-13-2015 at 05:40 PM
      Bettime: 23:15 no meditation, visualisation

      missed first awakening because fall asleep before tagging and had a dream where i wrote down some notes about interesting thoughts/some energy i felt?

      woke up at 4 am. i had a dream, tried to remember a fragment and lost the dream. i squeezed my brain and got in the end 4 short fragments. the squeezing made me pretty awake.
      i´ve tried to wild on my back but noticed after some minutes that i am to awake. got negative thoughts cycling in my head like i hadn't it for nearly a year before i start with meditation. was awake for about 2h...
      at 5:36 my roomates fu**in alarm clock ringed every three or four minutes for half an hour... so i stood up go to the toilet and sit down on my meditation cushion and tried to calm my mind. after about 15-20min i got back to bed again and noticed that i now had more control over my toughts again and could block the negativity. i noticed how i drifted into dreamy toughts and repeated my mantra. (fall asleep aprox. 6:20)

      7:30 LD:

      some NLD stuff with transition from a room into a bus into a room again with a baby turning into my brother and crazy stuff like that. back in front of the building where my brother and i was inside. a house party is going on. some windows are open and i see young adults that seem pretty drunk and on drugs kissing and yelling. i enter the building and on the entrance there are two bowels of food. i recognize that one of them is mine and i put it there previously. i pick it up and see a lot of fruitflies and similar stuff. i´m wondering a bit and wave them away with my hands. the food consists of pretty big balls with food that is nonexistent in real life or maybe can be found in asia somewhere O.o (i´ve had an NLD where i eat similar stuff) my awareness rises and i remember that this is a dream. i eat up the last spoon and move up the stairs. its pretty dark and while moving im doing a RC and think about the dream. i open a door and wonder that my subconscious rendered this room i was before although i was in my thoughts and looking down. the party is over and on my left site i see a dude lying on a couch sleeping. i keep going and there is another door. i wish to myself to find at least an attractive redhead somewhere behind. i go thru the door and turn right in the direction of the room i saw from outside with the open windows. i see a lot of sleeping people. a dude builds up in front of me and is trying to tell me that its private here. we somehow start a little talk and he tells me that he watched up the whole time for the others. he smiles and looks proud of himself. i walk some more and look around but find nothing interesting. i turn around and walk back. on my way an average looking redhead girl crosses my way. i turn around stop her and kiss her directly. i´ve ask her if she might tell me a joke. "hmm nah dont know one...". my hair is in my face and bothering me. i put it away and fall into the void. i know i am still dreaming because some music is playing so i am singing with it and move my hips like i would do naughty things or lets say dance. i wait some time and suddenly are in my bed. a really really beautiful girl with relatively short reddish purple hair is sitting on my and wants to kiss me. while she approaches me i do a nosepinch just to be sure. she kisses me and i tell her something like "unfortunately this is just a dream" she looks sad for a moment like i would have degraded her. i smile to her and we talk a little. i ask her if she wants us to undress our underclothes. i start with my boxers and she with her top. while we undress i ask her if she might tell me a joke. she answers straight forward: "hmm all jokes i have are incubated" i look at her and am surprised. she lay down on me but a sleeping bag is between us. i put it away and we lie now skin on skin and i wake up.

      she made me think. she was really really beautiful in a very natural way and seem to be more intelligent/independent than all the previous DC. she was sad when i mention that she is "just a DC" and irritated me with her answer for my joke question. i would love to see her again. maybe i can summon her again but dont see her face clearly anymore... but maybe it can work nevertheless! i wouldnt say this is my dreamguide or anything but it was an extraordinary encounter!

      take some notes and fall asleep again

      8:35 LD:
      i wake up in my bed and instantly know this is a dream. i am in a dull room with white walls and nothing inside. i stand up and hear my roommates alarm go on again i start singing something to not hear the alarm so i dont wake up (the alarm must have been in my dream because at this time my roommate wasnt here anymore i think) i think about what to do and remember that i want to practice teleportation. i dont want to try blink eye teleportation and think about lay back in bad and fall asleep. i sit in my bed but i remember ~Dreamer~ way of teleporation. i stand up again go to the wall and point my finger on the wall and think "Red" so i can paint. i paint a oval portal that is not red but more a faint line. i try to push it some times and it the wall give away. i push so hard that i just fall right into the hole and find myself in the void. i use it to incubate where i want to go because i forgot to do it before. i think and repeat "meadow with a tree" and suddenly after some moments i´m standing on a way and infront of me is a field. a little further are some trees and a railway lines. i am alone. not what i aimed for exactly but close enough i think and start flying near the ground over the field. i see some flowers that have deep blue stems and leaves and bright red blooms. i pick one while flying, land and try to smell it but it has no odor. i look on the ground and notice that the soil is pretty dry and there are alot of ankle high plants with short little spikes. hm no barefeet walking i think to myself and start flying again in the direction of the railway lines. i land there and look around. i see some mushrooms and some plants that remindes me of a yellow narcissus flower. i see a feet big snail. with a second look i see that it is made of earthenware. i look around and see an old truck and a little further a rhino i fly over to the truck to get a better sight on the rhino. i land there and look at him. he is lying down. i think about fly a little closer but in this moment it notice me and runs in my direction. its an big adult rhino. he stops infront of the truck and scrape with the hooves. i remember the tasks of the month again and see that it wont tell me a joke but i might communicate with it via telepathy. i climb a little bit down so i get closer and hold my hand on my temple and think "let us be friends". i repeat it over and over. i decide to climb down a little further but the rhino starts running again furious in my direction i go up a little so he cant hit me. he runs past me and i think telepathically "HEY!" and he stops and turns and look at me. i again repeat let us be friends and he runs back where he was standing before. i repeat the sentence some times more and decide to climb down "what the hell should happen. this is a dream he cant really hurt me" i climb down on the ground and he starts running in my direction again. i kneel down and open my arms. he turns into a small (baby?) rhino who jumps into my arms and starts licking my face like a dog would do.
      i wake up and feel really happy.


      i think about standing up but still feel tired and fall asleep again after some notes

      10:15 LD:
      I have a FA in my bed. this time my room looks more realistic and i am a little confused although i am pretty sure i am dreaming. i stand up and look around and see for example my couch missing. i still do a nosepinch and remember that i could teleport again. i search a wall with some space and draw a small portal like before. i push again and the cycle falls insight the wall i feel a pulling force again but can resist to fall insight. i sit infront of the hole/portal and climb insight. i feel like falling and this time i dont see black but greyish like when you pick the wrong tv channel. it changes a bit and gets more sharp like a loading screen and suddenly i hear a sound and enter a game? everything looks a little pixelated. it is a futuristic theme and i think i see some startrek guys. i am a bit confused and move around. i enter a bath and look into the mirror. i look like a pixelated game figure but my appearance is changing. now i look pretty normal but have black curled hair with some dreads. in those dreads is some metal ring that looks nice. i pick the ring and put it in my pocket for later. i smile because i know i cant bring it back to waking. i move some feet away but then thinking about that i could teleport right again this time with a mirror. i go back but now the mirror is just a small vertical stripe. i tap against it and after some times it gets fluid. i put in my arm till my shoulder but then it doesnt go any further because the mirror is to small. i back off and while heading to the next room i yell "Commander i need a bigger Mirror!" i enter the next room and see "Data and Riker" (i dont watch Startrek so dont know what rank they have or anything; i talked to a friend one or two days ago about Startrek because there is an episode about lucid dreaming he told me). Riker starts going away to get me a bigger mirror while data is just standing around. i see an mirror on a shelf and take it. it is a little dusty and i put it on the ground thinking this might be big enough. i strife of some of the dust and tip on it again. it starts to be fluid again and i stand on the mirror sinking in. i leave with a Ciao! while Data is just looking at me with no motion. i fall again into the void and imagine my "meadow and tree" i appear on a forest path and see a farm infront of me. some feet away is a guy working. hm i think people... i move in the direction of the big building and see some horses. i look closer and notice that they are no horses but unicorns. one has cut of wings. i pet him a little and keep going. i see an orangutan crossing my way and again i put my hand to my temple and say telepathically "hey come to me" he looks shortly at me but keeps running. i look determining and he stops and approaches me. i sit on the ground and he jumps into my lap and i pet him. we communicate a little (cant tell if with words or telepathically) he tells me something i dont remember and i tell him he smells good (i actually cant remember a smell) he says thanks but the thing he put in his fur is itching or something. i stand up and keep going to a table where two or three men are sitting. i talk to one of them a little and then ask him if he might tell me a joke. "nah i dont know/remember any jokes......... no good atleast" i say "nevermind tell me one" the second guy intermeddle with some stupid stuff i dont remember. next to him is a box or a travel case with some small items and stuff. i try to get something with telekinesis but it only moves a little and dont levitate to me. he tells me that i am not allowed to take something from there. i get a little angry and decide to Kamehameha the table away. i connect my hands and notice i have something in them. a bag and something different in the other hand. i put both into my pockets and start over again. i do the motion and the words but nothing happens :/ i move some feet away from them and try again and i feel shortly some energy between my hands but nothing to see and nothing happens again. one of the guys stands up and approach me like nothing happens. i am in a room now and another guy stands next to me. he has three eyes like the dude from dragon ball. i ask him if he might show me how this works and he says yes but not now its not the time. i say: now please? have no time! but he just walks away... never mind i think and see some big coins. i take one and start to levitate it in my hand. the guy from the table stands next to me and is watching. i do some tricks and try to hold it in the air without movement. i have some problems but change my mindset to i want it to freeze in the air. the coin stops moving around and just spins a little but this stops to and the coin stands motionless in the air. the guy is cheers and i explain to him that the trick is to think that it freezes in the air. i want to morph the coin into another but then i wake up because of our postman...
    8. #217. The King of the Forest

      by , 09-14-2015 at 01:23 AM (Things to Run Away From Really Fast)
      Waking up after a dream that your husband was kidnapped? Quite a relief.

      Having to tell him that we might have been inducted as part-time members of the Wild Hunt? Maybe not so awesome.


      ***

      Cernunnos (KER noo nohss): the Celtic Horned God.

      Ravana (rah-vuh-nuh): antagonist in the Hindu epic Ramayana, follower of Shiva, king of Lanka, and depicted as having ten heads.


      ***

      I'm standing at a window, looking out into the forest. It's midday, and sunlight streams down onto the meadow that leads from the trees to the house.

      Movement. A deer appears, walking confidently from the forest. He has ten heads, all of them focused down the road beyond the house.

      I'm kneeling at the window as the deer goes by, close enough to touch. He's almost gone past. I hesitate, then tap on the glass.

      All ten heads swivel towards me, ten pairs of eyes focused on me, just beyond a thin pane of glass. I flinch at the idea that I'm getting the attention of this king of the forest the same way that disrespectful children get the attention of animals at the zoo.

      I'm sorry to bother you, I tell him. I saw you, and I know I'm not supposed to. I thought you should know.

      He stares for a moment. Then, a few of his heads dipping to look back down the road, he tells me:

      Come with me.

      ***

      We're at a bar. In the interim, I've learned more about our world's masquerade, been inducted into a secret society, and given my husband the necessary introductions.

      "At one point," my husband tells me, "Four of his heads swivelled around to look at me." His implication, it was creepy, remains unsaid. This is a supernatural bar, after all, and the king of the forest is never too far away.

      "He gave you half his attention," I say, tapping on my glass. "Imagine having one hundred per cent of it on you."

      I shiver at the memory of ten pairs of eyes looking into my soul.

      ***

      Not even 24 hours, I think to myself. Not even long enough for the police to get involved.

      And yet here I am, asking for a god's audience—to demand help to find my missing husband. Because I know that they've taken him.

      The king holds his court under the stars. He stands in the centre of the dais in anthropomorphic form, wearing dark maroon robes. I can feel the weight of his many eyes on me... but it feels like a weight has been lifted off of my chest. The decision has already been made. I can breathe.

      I need access to the network of cameras along the highway, I tell the god. They may be a long way from here by now, but even they would need to stop for gas.

      The heads that are looking my way nod in recognition, and the god raises a hand on his left side, a soft movement gesturing at the man behind him.

      I'm standing at the railing, the scrutiny of the court no longer resting with me (but watching, always watching). The man in the suit (the god's left hand) looks down his nose at me, a faint sneer on his face. New favourites of the god already asking for favours, I can practically hear him think.

      I'm calm, going through the motions with the mechanized precision of a person in mid-crisis. (Fight or flight or solve the goddamn problem.)

      "Thank you for seeing me," I tell him, even though we both know he had no choice in the matter. And then I change gears. "I'll need one of your techs to go through the footage with me. I can't do it myself this time—"

      this time, because that's the world we're now a part of

      "—but next time this happens to one of our people, I'll be able to help."

      A flash of emotion across his face, too quick to identify, and his eyes warm somewhat. "I'm {error

      "-Anderson," he says, catching my hand in a firm handshake. "Welcome to �����."
    9. Discovering connections

      by , 06-10-2015 at 07:54 PM
      Astral travel to find a relic... Connecting with many people telepathically, lots of shared dreaming... Have animated, agreeable conversation with a young man about what is authentic native teaching, and what is not. Another man, talking about how to move things around in my store for better energy flow... More connections, lost a lot of it when my son came bouncing in at 5:20am
      Tags: shared, telepathy
      Categories
      Uncategorized
    10. Yosif and the Temple of Apollo

      by , 06-08-2015 at 11:00 AM
      A slightly disturbing dream, but with all characters displaying a lot of agency and independence. The Sentinel also makes an appearance, a speechless recurring entity who seems to only appear in times of danger.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      I was sitting by the side of the road in my hometown with two friends. We were watching a television signal, using road signs to change programme, but the device was not always sensitive to understand our commands. We stood up and walked along the northern side of the river. I was only a child, and my two companions were comprised of my younger brother and the young daughter of a family friend.

      I saw a list of names scroll through my mind. One name in particular I recognised; Yosif. We happened to be walking past his house. It was white weatherboard at the top of a hillside garden overlooking the river. He came out to greet us. He looked to be in his late forties, but took good care of his physique. He was of Mediteranean background, with olive skin, slick dark hair and a slight accent. I placed him in my memory; he had been a GP at a medical clinic a few towns over whom I had visited many years back. Despite being certain of this information in the dream, I know of nobody named of this description or profession in waking life.

      Innocently, I told him that I had seen him once when I was unwell. He looked uncertain, but my young friend confirmed my memory. He invited us into his house, telling us that the television signal was much stronger inside. We laughed and followed him up through his garden. He took my brother's hand to help lead the way. I didn't know this man well and didn't really feel like spending time in his home, but I wasn't suspicious of him and didn't want to be impolite.

      From the road, his home and garden seemed to be thriving, but walking up through the windy brick paths it became apparent that it had fallen into disarray. Weeds struggled up through the dry earth, the grass was left dying, and the few standard roses still remaining were losing their leaves. Even the house itself was not looking healthy. The white weatherboards were dirty and some had rotted away. He picked up my friend and rested her on his hip, leading us through the garage behind his house. He opened a wooden gate for us, and held it open as we walked through. The dream characters of my brother and friend merged into a single 'child' entity, and the third position of our trio was filled by a young man whom we knew and trusted. He always appeared in dreams to aid me in times of danger, often long before I had even become aware of the threat.

      As soon as I stepped through the door, I felt something was wrong. It was naught but a high-fenced pen. I turned to object to Yosif, only to see the door being closed behind me. I kicked with enough force to stagger him and made my escape. Yosif was distraught that I had spoiled his game. He started busying himself about the house while crying and tearing his hair. I hid nearby in the garden. I heard a woman's voice from inside his house, but she was speaking to me telepathically. I was annoyed at first, believing her to be his well-meaning but ultimately complicit wife.

      "He drowns the children in a deep puddle beside the fence. Sometimes, he likes to submerge his own face in the water as well so that he can share in their experience." She told me. "The weeds in the puddle are a greater hazard than the water itself. The children choke on them."
      On this information, I rushed over to the puddle and started to clear all the vegetation, raking the mud below. The water was grey like run-off and I couldn't see below the surface. She cautioned me against trying.
      "Afterwards, he buries their bodies beneath the puddle so the other children have to look at the faces of the dead while they drown."

      Disturbing, to say the least.

      She told me to go and stay out of sight while she made a phone call and then rushed from the house across to the neighbouring property.
      "I'm coming with you," I said, and cut across the garden to join her. I assumed she was going to call the police. I was relieved my older friend had appeared and been caught as well. He wouldn't go down easily, and may intimidate Yosif long enough for the cops to arrive.

      I followed the woman into her home, an impressive mansion. There were many well-kept sprawling rooms devoted to displays of cultural artefacts which were open to the public. It was much like a small museum. She ducked into a side room and began to speak hastily on the phone. I looked around. This area contained many pieces of Japanese origin; scrolls of calligraphy and maritime implements. There was a scale model of an ancient Japanese whaling ship which caught my attention.

      I noticed a man in one of the rooms with an attendant. He looked to be her adult son; spiky blonde hair and well-built. He had a tattoo of lettering in black and red across his chest. As he was putting on his robes, I saw this his right hand and most of his right leg were missing, but he still had his foot and could move it at will. When he had finished dressing, he looked quite scholarly, and I followed him from his room.

      "Excuse me, but could you tell me what this place is?" I asked.
      "This is the Temple of Apollo," he said, unsure as to how I could be here without knowing where I was. The artefacts in this room definitely had a more European flavour, but I didn't notice anything distinctly Hellenistic.
      "Oh, I didn't realise given the asian influence in the other room," I said and walked off. He followed curiously.
      "This wasn't here yesterday. They must have changed it," he said.

      The museum was quite intriguing and had many patrons. There were model ships and spaceliners, bottles of googly eyes in every size, and fantastic pieces of antique art; a conglomeration of humanity's existence.
    11. Leaving It All Behind

      by , 04-27-2015 at 09:21 AM
      A very vivid dream with high continuity. My dreaming personality is a little more extravagant and dramatic than my waking personality. I also have a nice little freak-out when I forget that in a dream, people communicate telepathically/empathically. Weirdly enough, it is only when I type this entry up six months later that I realise that the family at the end are very familiar.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      I was in a large, detailed town. The landscape was shaped like a bubble, with the edges of the town curving up towards the sky as though it were situated within a basin. The town proper was quite dense and centralised, comprised of public buildings and several private homes. Apartment complexes stretched up the far side of the basin on the outskirts of the town. I had a home here, several levels tall. I shared it with room mates. Behind my home were several statelier buildings and quiet winding streets.

      My recall begins in my bedroom on the top floor. The town is sunny and pleasant, but I am routinely aware of a presence observing me through one of the windows. When I look out, my vision zooms to a location on the other side of the town. I see a shadow shift on a ledge as someone leaves the area, but I am not fast enough to catch a glimpse of my observer.

      I walk out onto my balcony. It overlooks a public sports oval. There is a crowd gathered there, some of their number are wearing costumes. They are rehearsing for an event the next day where many would come to revel in their self-pity and cling to their vices. They were a harmless lot, ultimately likeable, but foolish. For many years I had known them well, and counted myself as one of them, but no longer.

      I return inside. I am with a small group of my friends, none of whom I know in the waking world. They are all male and dressed in Victorian-era clothing. They seem taken aback when I announce that I will not be joining the festivities this year.
      "Tomorrow, I will be out on my balcony, smoking. If anyone should care to join me, then they would be most welcome," I say, taking a puff from my cigar. One of the younger gentlemen piped up in response.
      "Smoking? Whatever for?"
      "For grandeur." I declare. They chuckle. My closest friend is sitting beside me. He shakes his head at me, but laughs all the same.

      I go outside onto a lower balcony with him. The evening air is enlivening. I get a better look at him now that we are alone. He is a spritely, middle-aged man with a grand moustache and a quick wit. He is always impeccable dressed, but never too extravagant. He sits in silence, drawing from a large, glowing cigar.
      "I'm going to miss these, you know," I say to him, fondly lighting a cigar of my own.
      I look out across the town. The lights are off in the apartments across the basin, but the town below is still full of life.

      I find myself down in the town proper. Three single-levelled buildings are arranged around a common square. The left-most structure is the workshop of a local artist and jewellery designer. She has wicked red hair, and a strong but gentle presence. I notice a young girl smoking cigarettes and dawdling around her building. When the girl finished smoking, the artist burst from her workshop and berated the girl for the lingering smell.

      I had known better, but it struck me as odd that I had already known without being told. I walk around the side of the building. One of my teachers approaches, a wise woman, well-revered by the town. I addressed my concern to her in regards to my own foresight. I was so shocked that I could know what somebody had been thinking without interacting with them. The artist was passing by as I was speaking, and stopped out of curiosity. I had asked the wise woman many questions in the past, but this one surprised her. They exchanged a curious glance, and then looked back at me, puzzled. I felt that it wasn't my experience that they found bizarre, but why now I should fail to understand it.

      I was going somewhere. I would lose something.

      "We should sit over there and have a smoke," a youthful friend suggested to me. I had been deep in thought. We were in a large hall with others, waiting for the rain to pass. Night had fallen and I had been gazing out the great, vast windows before me. This was a familiar place.
      "They're covered in water," a female friend replied. She was right. A few benches were situated on the wooden verandah outside. It artistically swept around the extended wings of the house. But for all its clever design, the walkway did not extend far enough and the eaves were too shallow; rain water dripped down onto the benches.

      I returned home, sharing a few friendly words with my house mates. I proceeded upstairs to my hammock. I was uneasy about the open window through which I could be viewed, but was relieved to find it had already been closed and the blind pulled down.

      The dream shifts, and I am on the rear-most carriage of a speeding train, right where I expected to be. I had caught this train many times before, and even had a good rapport with the rear guard. I rushed to the back of the train. Below the raised platform where the guard would sit, there was a thick, steel archway with a blue, metal door. It served little purpose other than my own.

      I was reaching my end, somehow content with my own undoing. I had known this was coming for a while, and now the time had come to the face the music. I began to speak, a conversation I can hardly remember.
      "We all come to our end eventually, don't we?" I say.
      "What do you mean?" the guard replied from above. I rushed behind the door and fastened it behind me. The train was picking up speed, but I wanted to delay my moment of passing for just a few minutes longer.
      "We degrade, don't we? It's a natural process. Why should we fight it? Would it not be more logical to embrace this demise?" I continued my rhetoric. I had already resolved that it would be this way, and chosen this place because it would quicken the process. Despite my verbose monologuing, my stomach still sank when I began to see the effects unfolding before me.

      I held out my left arm and rolled back the sleeve. It was fading away, turning bony and pale, but also ethereal; shrinking and vanishing before my eyes. I tried to remove my watch, but it too was disappearing and hanging limply around my skeletal wrist.
      "Surely it would be better not to fight it, don't you think?" I asked to my final witness, captivated by the sight before me.
      "I'm sorry, I didn't quite hear what you said," the guard replied. I was snapped from my self-indulgent trance. The wind was roaring, but the guard's ears were keen. They heard every one of my final words, knew in their heart that I was misguided, and would feign deafness now rather than extend advice. My ego was inflamed.

      We were slowing past a station. I deftly rolled from the train and skidded for some metres before coming to a stop near a family of three waiting patiently with their luggage. The train slowed to a halt beside me, the guard and driver both now in the engine. The guard, while distinctly the same person, was now a young female with straight brown hair. I stood up and marched over to them in rage.
      "Fuck you, you piece of shit!" I screamed. They seemed rather unfazed.
      Though still angry, the next few moments were filled with remorse for my behaviour. I felt compelled to apologise to the mundane folk - a rotund man and his wife - for shouting obscenities in front of their son.

      Updated 01-02-2016 at 11:10 AM by 89402

      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable
    12. 9/28/14 - fell asleep in garden

      by , 09-28-2014 at 07:44 PM (Leaving the matrix)
      I'm walking back and forth in my Grandmas house slash my house. My sister is doing the same, we're collecting our stuff and putting it in the kitchen. We're getting ready to take it out of the house to leave or something. Then this other girl starts walking back in the house also. At first we try to hide somethings in case she's here to take them, but I realize each time we pass each other she is paying more attention to me then the tasks she's pretending to do. So without saying it with voice, all three of us agree to let her live with us were we are going and taking the stuff. Then I'm at her house to help her take her things. I've never seen this place before and her dad is being super nice to me. While the girl goes back and forth taking her stuff out, her dad takes me into the green house that's connected to the house by a door, and tells me he makes money by selling the plants he picks, but that there's over produce of the brown, white, and purple plants and that I can pick from those colors so I can plant them at my new home so I'll have sustenance for us as long as I'm willing to love and care for the plants. I look around and see lots of brown and white root type thing, then I see purple prickly pear pads, I question to myself why they are deep purple rather than the usual green, and the dad answers me that it's a different species. I then wonder if the fruit it will bear will be and even deeper color of red. I decide I want the prickly pear pad so I go through them all but a lot of them are a little old and shriveled, but then I find better shaped healthy one and pick it up and get cactus spine in my finger and immediately pull it out. Then the dad calls me to the plants on the floor, it's like little green tomatoes in a patch, he's laying sideways so I sit next to him, he tells me to pick one, so I pick up a reddish one and get a little spine in my finger and pick it out again. Then the dad gets spines in his leg, and I get some in my arm and thigh, and we focus on that when the girl and her little sister or little cousin comes into the green house and sits next to us. The girl helps remove the spines that I can't remove, and then the dad goes into the house. The girls little friend tells me to keep picking out plants for my new house, but then I get super tired and falls asleep between two patches, and the two girls continue picking out plants for the house. While asleep I telepathically feel the little girl notice telepathically that me and the girl who was in my house are smitten over each other. When I wake up the reddish fruit isn't in my hand anymore, but instead a sequin thing is there and I jump up quick to find it, but the two girls are standing there and the girls little friend says we're ready to go to our new house and that we'll be happy and watch the afternoon elvis' every day and eat what we grow. Then I wonder what the heck is a elvis, and think it must be what on the tv's here, but that my old tv had too many channels for me to see or hear of it.
    13. Brief semi-lucidity, and consulting a witch

      by , 02-16-2014 at 10:07 PM
      A scene ended with me getting into a car and driving away. While I'm driving, however, something goes wrong, I keep weaving into the other lane, and I wind up getting pulled over by a cop. I'm thinking, good thing this is just a dream. And I'd rather not stick around for this, so I go incorporeal and float through the roof, invisible. I look down at the cop being surprised by the car without a driver, and then I decide to bring the car with me: I turn it into water droplets, which collect in the palm of my hand.

      There's a memory gap, but I doubt the semi-lucidity lasted long after that. Next scene I remember clearly is non-lucid: a woman is consulting a witch, asking her to do a spell or divination for her. When it's over, the witch asks the woman what that looked like from her end - meaning that during the course of the spell, the witch realized this woman's got some magic of her own. And the god this witch works for may or may not have an interest in this woman. The witch asks her a question, about why she's trying to (do something) when she's got too much on her plate already. The woman explains: there's a guy who loves her "pretty bad" - no mention of whether it's reciprocated - and she "can't hear him anymore," by which she means hear him in her head - it's a vampire thing - and she's worried about him.

      (Woke up. Back to sleep.)

      I'm temporarily working for a doctor with a small private practice, I'm in training. The doctor's showing me a patient's chart and is asking me if anything jumps out at me - I say the patient's lost 10 pounds, but I'm thinking, that could just be a diet. The doctor points out what she wanted me to see: this patient's been suffering from hallucinations, describing strange sights and sounds. But she lives in the city, and there are all sorts of strange things there; and on the date that she experienced these 'strange sights and sounds,' there was a parade. I'm doubtful. I say, "I don't know, it's pretty difficult to confuse a parade with a hallucination." The doctor admits this is true.

      There was a scene where I went to talk with that patient, and by the end of that scene we've wound up talking casually in the waiting room, she's very pretty and very easy to talk to. Then a baby belonging to one of the other patients crawls up into her lap. It's got a dripping diaper. This eventually leads to an unpleasant confrontation with the mother, who denied that the baby was the cause of the mess; the mother becomes so outraged that she takes out a gun, points it at the ceiling and shoots.

      I grab the woman's arm holding the gun. The other patients in the waiting room all run out the door, except the one I'd been talking to. I get the gun away from her before she can fire the other bullet - it's a two shot derringer - and I hand it to the other patient. As I do so I say something along the lines of "Hold this for me, honey." Then I think, wait a minute, she was my patient a minute ago, that's very unprofessional, I can't go around changing a DC's relationship to me mid-storyline just because we shared a nice conversation and a life-or-death situation. The woman has pulled out another gun, and I take it away from her and hand it to the patient again - there wind up being 4 guns total.

      Updated 02-16-2014 at 11:54 PM by 64691

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid
    14. Jump

      by , 04-23-2013 at 04:01 PM
      pre-rambles: I feel that my dreams are trying to kill me more often than not.

      I slowly start to stir into consciousness, or what I believe is, it's a warm day out I can feel the sun beating down on my skin. I feel grass beneath my palms, then open my eyes.

      I'm in a field, There's a lone tree and I'm at the edge of a forest, littered with massive(redwood?) trees. There's a squirrel, cute and little, almost like Fu's flying squirrel. :B

      The squirrel telepathically talks to me. He tells me I'm dreaming and can do whatever I want. I stand up and do a couple backflips to test out what he was thinking. Then realized I'm talking to a squirrel.

      The squirrel suggests that we fly. It climbs up the lone tree in the middle of the field, and soars off, into the densely populated forest. I start the climb and realize I'm up much further than anticipated.

      Step to the edge.

      Splat.

      I fall to my death and only then do I consider myself flying. I'm watching myself on the ground, blood seeping into the dirt.

      Damn squirrel.
      Tags: death, fly, telepathy
      Categories
      non-lucid
    15. Skydiving

      by , 10-24-2012 at 07:24 PM (Cinder's Dreams Gallery)
      I'm pretty out of practice after my long lucid break, so I decided to post this one anyways even though I didn't even tried to recall it.

      I was on a plane, I think. But now that I think of it it would be more of an interceptor like in Saints Row the Third. It was on autopilot, and while the windshield is open I don't feel the wind nor freeze, dream logic I guess? I commented that it's fun to be on an aeroplane.

      Later I somehow talked to my dad in telepathy, I spoke aloud until someone asked me what I am doing, so I started trying to talk to my dad in my mind. My dad wasn't in sight, by the way. I told my dad about my fascination about skydiving, but he said that I can't drive them because I'd need a piloting permit, which I remembered just now, and went OK.

      I think directly after this I segued into some MS Paint adventure thing.

      then it skipped to my talking to my friend about how to defend yourself if you're lucid in the middle of a dream siege in a restaurant (FACEPALM) and another of my friend went kinda "I'm sorry, but your conversation is a bit... umm..."
      And I finished for him, "Retarded"
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