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    1. Cold Water Casino

      by , 05-15-2019 at 03:06 AM (The Fourth Factor)
      Iím on a trip with my parents and an unfamiliar young man. We were all supposed to go to a casinoóand they did actually go. But I didnít care much for that plan, and so Iíve been off doing something else and only arrived back at the hotel room in time for their last trip there, late on the final evening.

      I have the impression that this is a place theyíre familiar with, but this will be my first time there. Iíve been told not to bring my purse with me for whatever reason, but I donít like going around without writing materials on hand, and so I say that Iíll just take my wallet out before I go. But it seems my parents are so eager to get back that, rather than waiting the couple of minutes this will take, they go on without me, leaving the young man to drive us there.

      Outside, itís raining hard, and has been for a while, judging by all the standing water in the streets. As we go on, it only gets deeper, until the car, which is a fairly low one, starts having trouble moving forward. Some light on the dashboard has come on. He curses at the caróand quite probably my parents, who would have had no trouble handling this in theirs. I suggest that we just pull off the road onto higher ground, as some other cars seem to be doing, and walk the rest of the way there. It isnít very far. He agrees to it.

      The next part I remember clearly is being inside the casino, in a large room with a grand staircase, crowded with fancily dressed people. On the upper floor, near a restaurant area, I meet up with my parents again. Itís sort of like a buffet, with tables in a horseshoe shape, each one with an attendant behind them, offering samples of various kinds of foods to the guests. Mother is going to get a chocolate milkshakeóapparently, a favorite of hers thereóbut my father isnít interested. The idea doesnít appeal much to me either, and anyways, this is all new to me: I want to try things out before I order anything.

      He heads off somewhere else. I get some kind of a soup, and then head over to where theyíre serving white wine. I try the sample they have there, which is pretty goodóbut they have all kinds of interesting drinks here, and this would be a good chance to try things I wouldnít necessarily want a full glass of. And my mother is trying to get my attention from across the room, so I leave the table without ordering anything and head over in her direction.

      Then, suddenly, I feel a spray of cold wateróand the people around me do as well, judging by how theyíre crying out. It seems someone is spraying people with a hose. I move out of the way, wondering what that was about. Maybe the casino staff themselves are responsible. The whole reason this place exists is to take money from people, after allóI think itís best not to lose sight of thatóand it wouldnít surprise me at all for one to start charging people to keep things going nicely, once theyíve got them used to it.

      Once out of range, I pause and kneel down to make sure the cat is still with me. He is indeed still there and comes to get pet. Heís an orange cat, an adult, though on the small side, and has been here with me this whole time. So far, nobody has noticed himóor else they just donít care. But itís still a little dangerous for him to be here with me, and so Iíve been making sure he stays close, waiting until I feel him against the back of my ankles before moving on.

      11.5.19
      Categories
      non-lucid
    2. 22 Apr: Golf with Trump, flying car, all-I-can-eat and dog killers

      by , 04-22-2019 at 10:05 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      At some place, playing with someone's toys and I see a gorgeous realistic doll. The owner says it is for sale and not very expensive, still it's 39Ä. For this type of collectible it is cheap, but still is 39Ä for a doll, so I get really divided and can't decide to buy it.
      Meanwhile, Riverstone comes along and he asks me for some money and I go to my wallet and have packs of money. I start taking all the bills out for counting and ask Riverstone to help. He starts counting and I need to go do something else but I more or less evaluate how much money that was from my week sales and it is quite a lot. I feel glad.

      Dad invited for some event with VIPs. He takes me along. He joins a bunch of old white people who are down in the garden playing a kind of mini golf and Trump is among them. When it's Trump's turn, he does some weird trick and my dad is under the impression he cheated. But from my viewpoint I don't think so, so I tell him that. My dad gets upset that Trump might actually be a good player. Anyway, as I watch closely this group of old pathetic weirdos, all sucking up to trump, I just feel compassion for the poor fucks, including the Donald himself who simply looks like a clown unaware of his own ridiculousness.
      Meanwhile they are being watched from afar by a group of younger people and I notice some dude staring at me and quite a few others also looking like wondering who am I and why I am among the old geezers. Then I get a big smack in the face. It's a girlfriend that just saw me there and is totally surprised to see me there. I wonder the same. She confesses she is around for something else and spotted me with that group and had to come and check.

      Back home (childhood home), I am with my dad and my three cats. My mom has a friend and some family coming over for a dinner and she got drunk on some liquor. I ask the name of it, because I also try it and it is really tasty. When the family members leave, my mom goes out with her friend. My dad is at the bathroom and when he comes out he gets really scared at something. I heard a noise, but I see nothing strange. Then I see the front door completely open and ask if that's why he got scared. He says no, but also doesn't explain, just goes to get some tools to fix something. I close the door and immediately go check on my cats. One by one I find them deeply asleep in different rooms. I feel relieved.

      Parking one of my cars at home (the farm), I notice something weird: my van is not a van, but a second small car. I go check and it is a flying car. I take it for a ride through the country. People walking below get scared but I am high enough not to be a danger. Then I slow down at the next village and an old neighbor who is walking his dogs makes several complaints. We discuss back and forth, but I tell him not to worry. If we conclude the car or my driving are dangerous, I will stop it. So the grumpy old man and I depart in good terms. Then his son comes along, arrogant, no respect for anyone and he wants to sue me. He carries on bragging about his properties and his rich inheritance as if it had anything to do with this situation.

      Doing a Buddhist retreat, staying at some big hostel, several floors high. I find my room, I am tired and just wanna go to my bunk bed. I start dressing my pajama pants, but my neighbor from the bed below invites me to go to the cafeteria for a while. I have very little money that I can spend but I am definitely hungry., so I accept. She actually needed someone to talk to. She says she gave an interview to some media and she is afraid she might have said too much about our retreat. I tell her I always share just the basic and other things I refer to my teachers and if they need, they can ask them. She orders something to drink, I order some kind of yellow thin pancake, the cheapest thing in the menu and then some generous folks come buy with plates full of food, leftovers they want to share, toasts, pasta, sponge cake... I am so happy and don't want to look greedy but I immediately dive on these plates and eat from all of it.

      Some guy who's into booze comes to find his drinking bottle grew and stretched into the sky like the bean stalk from the fairytale.

      Some graphic news on tv about a lady haidresser and her boyfriend who became dogs serial killers, because supposedly she was going through difficulties and started eating dog meat and cooking it to sell to others. They show graphic footage of her cooking live puppies in a barbecue and cutting the neck of a grand danois.
    3. Monday, April 8

      by , 04-10-2019 at 07:10 AM
      I am in what I think is a smaller climbing gym inside a shopping mall. I am going to climb, and I feel good, like Iíve been back in it or something. I notice one other guy, sort of larger guy with longer back hair. I think his shirt is off. I think his presence makes me self conscious. I am climbing but it is also like I am clocked in as security at JCPenney. I start moving quite a few shoe boxes that turn out to be empty. I canít believe that many would be stolen. I have my radio on, and Iím getting called to do something. Entering the shopping mall, I am running. I clear a few longer steps quickly and then slow down self consciously. I think I am following the middle school boys (what stole watches and socks the other night). I enter another clothes store and am walking around inside when I notice their security or associate following someone. He simply asks the person if he is going to buy something. At this point, I think Iíve lost who I was following or they are no longer an issue. Now, I am in the shopping mall, probably in a little communal area, with some unfamiliar? others. They are asking me if I got dirty or something like that. I look at the back of the pant leg on my Leviís (that looks like mine but a little darker and newer) and there is a little bit of caked on mud. I think Iíve just washed them though, as the rest of them look clean. I glance up and notice that everyone in my view is wearing blue jeans of the same darker blue jean blue. Now, I am in some dim amphitheater-like room. There are large steps of stone and pebble that descend and end at a very small pool. I am running down these steps as well (possibly in slow motion?) At the end, I jump into the circular pool. While in midair, I had humorously asked if there were rocks at the bottom of the pool (concerned about my landing and impact). This pool could probably only fit four people comfortably, and it is between warm and lukewarm. There is a baby (in a diaper, I think)and one other in this pool. Now, I am driving. It looks like S. Virginia under the overpass, right before McCarran. I see multiple people in the street in front of me. Theyíre walking this way. Slightly annoyed, Iím going to change lanes to go around them to the right. Before I can, they sort of separate to give me room to get through. I notice that they have brooms or mops, so I slow to a stop by them and crack my window. The guy wants to wash my car. I say no and gesture by waving my hand in front of my neck. When I start to drive away, I see the rest of the group on the side of the road to the right. They look very sketchy, like prison-hardened. This impression is based on their face, neck, hand, and everywhere else tattoos, clothing, and also the look in their eyes. I feel bad for saying no because I donít want them to feel bad or like Iím judging them. As I am driving off, I look at my hood and see that it is a little dusty but not really dirty. I am now on a more rural/residential road. There is snow, only on the houses and yards and not on the road. The area seems somewhat lower income; the houses are smaller and just slightly dilapidated, but nice enough. They are spaced nicely apart. It is sort of like I donít really know where I am but do know where Iím going (or vice versa?). I now pull into the driveway of a house. This house is definitely unfamiliar, but I am walking up to its door and I have pliers or some sort of tool in my hand. There was a walkway in front of the house, to the right of the garage, leading to the front door. I donít know what lives here, but I am going to go in. I think I am about to use the pliers when I hear someone coming to open the door. I throw the pliers to the side lawn as the door is being opened. The door opens, revealing an old woman. I am hoping she doesnít notice the pliers lying on the grass. I am going inside with her now, and it is like she knows me. Behind the door she let me through is a foyer/entryway type area that seems to be outside but covered. It sort of then blends into the inside. She starts talking to me, and I think she thinks Iím her grandkid. Iíd feel bad if that was the circumstance, but it almost feels like I am her grandkid. There is an old man in here, sitting at a computer. He says hi to me like he knows me too. We talk a bit, and I then realize it is Opa. I notice his eyes, and I notice his voice is the same. He is wearing blue sweatpants and has his feet up on the swivel chair. His mannerisms are exactly the same. I am about to leave now, as I think thereís something I have to do (write down this dream?), when Granny?/Reta shows up. Now I am kind of stuck here. We all talk for a bit until I can sneak outside. I walk outside to my car blocked into the driveway and Makayla just getting here. I notice Dadís truck. The right side of the driveway is a bit more open, but I donít think I could get out. Jon shows up now, wearing a sun hat, shorts, and a button up short sleeve. Weíre all inside, a gathering of everyone, and I think Iíll be here a while.
    4. Starting up again

      by , 04-08-2019 at 10:25 AM
      08 Apr 19:

      First dreams recorded in 4 years. 2 fragments and one "solid"



      - At a store, think I'm looking for new shirts

      - Bookstore

      - At a friends' parents house. I'm sitting at a table and across me sits someone who feels and gives off a vibe of his sister but looks completely different. She talks about quieting her job. Not sure who's choice it is though.
      Somewhat further down the dream I see his father talk to my friend about the mother who apparently did something wrong or made a mistake that they find amusing.
      Tags: family, friend, store
      Categories
      Uncategorized
    5. 18 Jan: Family at the mall, meeting friends in Paris and terrorist attack

      by , 01-18-2019 at 01:22 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      At some big mall. I meet my aunt Lisa, Carlos and their kids. She looks embarrassed to see me. Says she has been going to a doctor, has some health problems, potentially bad. That's why she is with her ex-husband and kids.
      I see some people making a fuss at the door of a restroom. Some health inspector comes take note of the situation, I go see what it is. The bathroom has half a dozen toilets but all side by side without divisions and only a sliding curtain separating those waiting in line. Even more weird is that the toilets are high tech, with screens and wifi and conference calls and games, but no privacy.

      I meet Ana Sofia and some friends at a cafeteria and I decide to join them. I try to eat something, but grab an egg sandwich to go. We go outside and I realize we're in Paris. It is crowded and at some point people are organizing a protest with very lights and the police is starting to get in position to crack down on them. We decide to get the hell out of there but we get separated in the confusion.
      I am with some girl who has a map of the city and we try to think where the others were going. I see amazing monuments and buildings I had never seen and look for my camera. We get to a terrace with view to a magnificent area of the river, where we go on some boat with historical meaning and which takes us to see a wall on the other side of the river with amazing reliefs and paintings. There is some renowned stylist directing a photo shoot and his dog comes to the border of the boat to sniff people and befriends me. Then we hear a huge boom and the boat his hit by a big wave full of debris. I see people in the water in the middle of the debris. Our boat makes a very quick u-turn and leaves us back at the dock. They tell us another boat exploded, maybe a terrorist attack. Some people are crying because their family was in it. Everybody is scared and dispersing. My friend hands me my stuff and asks what we should do next.

      Updated 03-18-2019 at 08:55 PM by 34880

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment
    6. LD 112 - Shattering Galaxy

      by , 01-12-2019 at 07:36 AM (Letaali's Dream Journal)
      I'm standing on the edge of a massive disc surrounded by a sea of stars. I look along the curve of the disc and see massive shards of the disc floating around slowly. The shards look like broken glass. I can see Saturn in one of the shards. I realize the disc I'm standing on is the Milky Way galaxy. It's breaking apart, which is alarming. My dad appears and we talk about this impending doom.

      "We can't escape in time without help." I state.

      He agrees, we have no means of safely travelling away from our galaxy. We would need help from a more advanced alien race. I fall on my back and the disc acts like a trampoline, softening my fall. I stare at all the stars and notice one of them flickering. It moves slowly and then suddenly falls close by with a loud boom. I get up and approach the object.

      I become lucid, not sure what triggered it. The object that fell was a small four legged robot, reminding me of a dog. "X-12" was written with small pieces of tape on it's side. I assumed this robot was sent to help us off the disc. The robot dog started to hop in one direction slowly and I followed. I decided not to speed things up and just see where this would lead, but I was worried. I worried that I would wake up before anything meaningful happened, because the dog was so slow. I checked my body to focus more on the dream. I was completely naked and parts of my body were numb. My surroundings had changed a bit, the robot hopped past several beds with my family sleeping on them. The dream ended after a while of following the robot dog.

      Mistakes were made. I need to stop this carefree "lets see what happens" attitude and start actively guiding the dream again. Still happy to have lucid dreams.
      Tags: family, lucid, space
      Categories
      lucid
    7. Tuesday, December 18

      by , 12-31-2018 at 08:37 PM
      I have gone into a building for some sort of surprise party for me. It seems like a restaurant that has been reserved, just one big room. There is a man guiding proceedings as people show up. Melissa and Makayla are here, seated at the long, wood tables, their coats draped over the back of their chairs. Now, about ten people are here, and everything has been moved back against the walls. At the front of the room is a smaller wooden stage. It is very plain. Everyone stands in a circle in the floor space in front of it. I get the impression that weíre going to be running in a circle and jumping/doing tricks off the stage, but we donít. I think weíve been waiting for food too, but it never came. The group now moves down a hallway, and the place looks like an elementary school. I pass inlets in the wall that have some windows and rows of desks. There are pictures and things on the hallway walls that are all Hawaiian themed, i.e. Hawaiian history, that makes me think this may be in Hawaii. We end up in a computer lab and seated again. I think weíre waiting for food, and again it never comes. A guy with light brown skin comments that this event is only a few hours and ending soon, not giving us time for everything. In my head I envision a three hour block? starting at 7pm and us being a majority of the way through it. I now go over to a sink in a counter against the wall (like high school science classrooms). There is a chunk of ice protruding from it. The ice doesnít seem solid, but more so shaved but still compacted together. I run some water over the section under the faucet, inciting it to start to melt. I think Bird Song is playing from my phone during this. It then occurs to me that Iím pretty sure that this is our food thawing out. This room has now transitioned into an unfamiliar kitchen in a house. It looks pretty nice and clean, marbled earth tone counters, stainless steel, and darker wood cabinets, I think. (As I write this, it reminds me of Scott and Kellyís old kitchen). Renee and Kelly are here, one seated and one milling around, and they tell me happy birthday. Renee says she can now get me a glass of wine (as if itís my 21st). I nicely say ďOhÖ you donít have toĒ, but Iím willing to let her just to be polite. I start looking for white wine (as if itís my place) and look all over but do not find any. Iím thinking that they might also want to have some. I end up in a different room of the same house, by Linda, whoís seated at a dark wood table. She starts asking about my favorite red wine, isnít it a blend? I recall what sheís talking about, another get together/celebration where I had/brought different wines. I offer a non committal reply of either ĎI donít knowí or ĎI donít rememberí. I think that if my favorite was a blend that it isnít now. I see she has a personal bottle - the dark label says itís a Lodi Zinfandel. Sheís now asking didnít I throw up at that event, but phrasing it more gently. Dad is here and inquiring the same thing. I again offer a dismissive reply, though I do remember throwing up then (*This event/scenario did not happen in real life). I pass some people what donít have drinks and think that I should go to the store really quick for some wine. In another room now, there is a record playing on a smaller turntable on the brown-carpeted ground in the corner. The song sounds familiar. It then ends, and I go over to put it away, even though I think that was just side one. I think itís the Cranberries or Zombies? (*Though I wake up with Heartbreaker by Pat Benatar stuck in my head). The cover is a dark green with the band name in large letters taking up a good amount of space. Itís at an angle. I think thereís a band photo on the back. I take the record off the platter; itís a marbled dark green and very flimsy. I slip it into its anti-static sleeve. I now leave, driving to wherever Iím going. I end up at an elementary school that I think is right by another elementary school. I park and walk in the fairly large entry way. The foyer is filled with the black retractable crowd controllers that lead up to metal detectors. Thereís a darker skinned younger lady at a counter beside the detectors. Two guys about my age are turning around willingly. I see they both are casually carrying handguns. One has slightly long and stringy dirty blond hair with a messy middle part and thin-rimmed glasses. I think his shirt is tucked, revealing a black holster on his belt. He is not attractive but not completely unattractive. He somehow seems genuine, yet aloof. He honestly looks the type to get unfairly made fun of. Seeing this causes me to pat my pockets. I feel some hard objects in the jean pockets, but nothing Iíd get in trouble for. I continue on, past the metal detectors. The enormity of this place is revealed as I walk through this hallway. There is no way it can be a school itís so big. I canít see an end to the hallway. Besides the size, the appearance is not of a school either. Everything is ornate and looks more like an upscale shopping mall. The walls appear to be white marble or something similar, with subtle niches and rococo. There are vendor carts set up in the middle of the walkway as well. Even they seem classy and opulent. I think the places set into the walls are shops and restaurants. There are quite a few others walking through here. The place has now transitioned into outdoors. I am following a slight grassy ravine with surrounding grassy hills. There are smaller, wispy trees and grasses, all very green. Thereís possibly a trickle of water running through here. Dad calls me now and asks where I went, his tone suggesting it rude that I just left. I tell him Iím picking something up from the store and will be right back. His tone then changes as he tells me that thereís some light or other activity going on in the night sky. I look up and can see it. Iím not sure if itís exactly what heís referencing, but I see brighter circles of light that are close together and moving. Thereís also a splotch of a green hue higher up in the sky. I also notice the Milky Way, probably the densest I have ever seen it appear, and it is absolutely awe inspiring. I have to spend a few moments just staring. Itís so bright that it seems to illuminate the night sky. Itís also currently parallel with this ravine. Off to the right, thereís a group or two of people sitting on a taller hill, also looking to the sky. I start walking back now, and itís daylight again. Dad is with me. I think a dog is with us as well, because I throw a toy. The toy hits and knocks over a small statue of a boy on a slightly overgrown pedestal. The 1-2 foot tall statue was in a row of other statue children, all in antiquated clothing.
    8. Monday, August 27

      by , 12-29-2018 at 02:35 AM
      I am seated in some restaurant at a longer table with some of the family. I look at the menu and the drink menu. A pudgy waiter comes over and takes Dadís drink order. He then looks at me, but I havenít decided yet. I ask if they have a porter or a stout. He says yes after I say Ďporterí and then yes again to the stout. I ask for the stout. Dad, sitting across from me, has now done something that makes me extremely irritated. We have our food now, and I pick up my plate and beer and go sit at another table. I position myself so Iím mostly facing away from the other table. I can see Uncle Scott though, and he looks frustrated (possibly at me).




      I am outside with some others, walking through a rocky crevasse. You can tell that itís been developed for climbing, and someone points this out. We now come to a spot that looks like it has not been developed. There is also a grey boulder that is maybe the size of a car, but disc shaped and levitating. There are thin branches or vines hanging from it, and Iím not sure how youíre supposed to climb it. There also seems to be some kind of energy force around the boulder. I walk under it and let myself fall backwards. The force supports me and slightly moves me. Now, it feels as if this mustíve been something I was reading, as I am closing a thin paperback. It was the end, and I know there is more, but I canít find the sequel as I sort through books on a shelf.
    9. 25 Dec: Street theater, family acting strange and creepy kindergarten

      by , 12-25-2018 at 10:30 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      Feels like the 30's. Some guy doing some street theater, a critique of society about how people buy clothes to show off instead of focusing on building a better society together.
      Me and a couple of other people are going to take part in the play, but we need to change outfit first in the changing rooms of a shop just behind. I go first. I have to use two dresses during the play, so I need to leave one ready to change later. I feel sweaty, would like to take a shower first but it is not possible. I am topless when I notice someone peaking over a curtain I thought had nothing behind. Actually the next changing room is only divided by this curtain and there is a guy with a small kid and they were surprised by my presence. The man apologizes and asks me if I want some compensation. I am ok, a bit outraged because he had seen me topless, but I tell him it isn't a big deal and he clearly just had been confused, wasn't a perv.

      With my uncles, aunt and cousin at my grandmas. Everyone is a bit weird. My cousin Ana brings baby toys and utensils and scatters them around. I ask if she pregnant again. She says no and offers no explanation. I grab a baby doll that is extremely dirty and ask her why. She says she is saving the toys and I see one that is a Japanese automated vintage toy and I agree it should be preserved. My cousin Duarte brought a friend, they are teasing me about something and then run away. I go after them. I find Zilla, and my uncle Fernando and his wife, doing a weird form of yoga and meditation, that makes me laugh.

      False awakening in my bedroom. I go to the window and I see my dog Hachi barking and some other dog like him in the front hill barking back. Then another large white dog, appears behind the other. Both are dragging a chain and one has a log at the end of the chain. I think that they must have run away from their owner. I feel like helping but it is so early dawn. I find something weird about this... But later I go with some friends to look for the dogs. We only find them in a village 10 kms away.

      Some aliens live among us and we live in an apartheid regime. Kids in school learn a language which is a mix of our own language with the alien language and is becoming the street language.
      I am visiting a creepy school kindergarten. At some point the kids freak out and start running to their places to look behaved. They say mother is coming, she is the director and a very creepy lady. She distributes quilts and linens, she throws two at me. I wonder WTF. Then she picks up some kids and makes them paint the walls in horrible weird colors while singing a creepy song echoing through the corridors.
      I meet a kid who has a hideout in an abandoned hallway in a different section of the building. He takes me there. He takes snacks to eat and leaves chunks of them rotting around, it is disgusting. When I leave him, I come back through the same place and I see the newly painted walls in tones of red and purple and with enigmatic numbers on. There is a creepy song playing in the background. The whole environment reminds me of The Shining. Strangely, some classrooms look absolutely normal, but all around I can spot kids in absolute stress and anxiety.

      Updated 12-27-2018 at 11:38 PM by 34880

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment
    10. 20 Dec: Alien disguise, gangs, family and letter from my guru

      by , 12-20-2018 at 07:17 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      I am pretending to be an alien, for some reason. I am wearing prosthetics in my body, which I feel that won't fool anyone, but as long I keep serious about it, people are believing me.

      Living at my mom's with other people. It is a dystopian world, no rule of law, people self-organize, but we have managed to cope. Until someone passing by shows us we should be leaving now and join a bigger community as the gangs who pillage are coming our way and will burn everything. I agree and start choosing what's essential to take, but end up caught up by attachment to all secondary stuff, because I can't stand imagining it all going up in flames. But there is no way I can take 90% of the stuff with me.

      At my paternal grandma's house with my mom. We wake up early morning hearing voices, it's some cousins who arrived and joined us. But although their faces are familiar, I have no idea who they are. At breakfast the group has grown with some 4 more family members, uncles and aunts I have no idea who they are. They all behave very at ease around the breakfast table, leaving a lot of dirty dishes and eating my food without any care, but they supposedly are family and I try to keep it cool.

      At some hotel or hostel during some Buddhist teachings I am attending. A couple of Asian guys knocks on my door. One is a big guy and looks Chinese. He hands me an envelope, but it is already open. It contains some money and a letter from my teacher, but clearly all pages are out of order and I wonder if the money is all there. I get rally mad that the guys opened the letter. I start reading it and despite the calligraphy I can actually understand but with the effort to concentrate on what it says, I wake up.
    11. Tuesday, August 7

      by , 12-20-2018 at 03:43 AM
      I am driving with Makayla and have parked in some small, exposed, and slightly elevated lot. The low walls around are tan and look to be adobe or stucco. I am going to go into a store while she waits in the car. This Ďstoreí looks antiquated and like itís from a different country. Itís made of the same material. It has dirt floors and apparently not much else. I am carrying some sort of red, woven material that folds like a windshield sun screen. It seems worn and is slightly torn in the middle. I think Iíll pick up a case of beer while Iím here. I have now ended up out on the street. Itís busier out here and looks like it might be India. Iím looking for somewhere and canít find it, when I run into Aly. We look at the map on my phone as she tells me directions. Itís right by where I came from, so Iím not sure how I missed it. This area and its few buildings are built into a slight hill. Thereís also a fairly large river running besides and under the streets. Brenton is swimming in it. I think Kassidy is here too. I get into the river too. It is wide and seems very deep. It is not exactly clear, but it doesnít feel or look dirty. It has a fairly strong current and only a few inches between it and the road it flows under. Brenton easily flows with it, but when I get in, the current and small space to pass through almost catch me off guard. I then relax and start floating. The underside of the road looks more like a small cavern. I am now on the other side and start climbing up a dark stone carving of a gargoyle I think. Itís sloped, but I manage to hang on. I then jump off and bounce on the water a few times and never actually go under. Kat comments on it from above.
    12. 6 Dec: Enslaved, nerve gas attack, war zone, brainwash camp

      by , 12-07-2018 at 10:49 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      I am at some harsh environment, like ruins in the middle of a marsh. Looks like a Tomb Raider game. I have to jump from mini platforms to rafts that are already filled with other people, who look Eastern, like Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi, not sure.... Then from the rafts we need to reach safe ground, and many die along the way. I manage to get to land, but I am taken as a slave. I find myself in the hands of women who are having fun dressing me up with rich eccentric dresses, probably for sexual slavery to some rich lord.

      I run away and hide ... in a shopping center... I find a small vet office where I bump into my RL vet. He asks me what I think about his new office, it is smaller with less equipment, but he is going through difficulties and trying to keep the business afloat. I feel a bit lost, but say it's ok, while I look at what I am wearing and finding it out of context. He offers me a t-shirt and jeans and says I can stay there and change, but he has to go out. I feel without control of my body, so I slam everything down into the floor and make a huge mess. People from a restaurant next door come to see what's going on and comfort me, thinking I may be having a stroke of some kind. Then I have this insight that I must go after someone who had parked the car right in front and is running away, while leaving behind a bunch of red and green balloons, which are filled with nerve gas and hallucinogenic gas. I was probably already under the influence of it and soon I start getting hallucinations. I hold my breath as I can and try to run to a safe area. Too late to help all these people, as the balloons are popping and there is gas everywhere. I remember that I can fly, so I rise up in the air, in the hope that I can rise above the gas.
      Up in the sky I find a kind of floating amusement park, with giant balloon figures, like Disney characters and in the middle of it, a cabin with a girl inside, looking lonely and sad. She opens the door and welcomes me there. She seems to know what is happening and feeling sad for not being able to help. She is glad she could help me.

      I am with Riverstone and we have a baby boy. But i feel strange that I am seeing this kid for the first time and he is already 2 years old. We are discussing what to name him. Meanwhile he is getting curious about going outside and I freak out. We never go outside (no idea how we get food).
      One day he sees kids playing on the street. He is excited and wants to join them. We on the other hand, just want to tell the kids to hide. It is very dangerous. Then some kids at another building started making signs warning the kids to hide, but they don't understand, look like they are not from here and have no clue. A caravan of military jeeps and tanks comes marching and I tell my boy to duck and be quiet. They start shooting. I guess the kids died. Later we get into a car and get out of there. That's when we cross paths with another car with some people we hadn't seen in a long time and we realize this boy is not really our kid, but their kid and they have our baby instead, a little girl. They also have my mother with them. We decide to do a risky exchange in the middle of the road with the sound of gunshots nearby. I give them the boy and they give me back my girl. My mom also joins us in tears and then we all head to safety.

      With some friends, including Zilla, we're like orphans in a harsh place. We've been taken in by some gangster organization against our will. My friends have accepted it, they take care of us, feed us, give us education. But it doesn't feel right to me. One day they take us all on a trip to some tropical paradise, everybody is rejoicing and I am overwhelmed with the landscapes, the beaches, the waterfalls, but I always suspect their motives.
      One of the bad guys in charge, one day picks up a fight with me. They say it is for practice, to keep us always alert, but I think they just want to beat us, because we are weaker and can't fight back. On that day, it happens that I win and he takes it badly. They warn me to never do that again, I'm supposed to be a punch bag, just as I suspected.
      Later on I mention to one of the few ladies in the organization that I am sick of this and want to go away. She goes tell her superiors. They threaten me. They own us.
      Someday we are enjoying a swim in a crowded swimming pool and some people come by and invite the older kids to follow them as we've been selected to a new group following a new training on martial arts and civics. I first reject, my friends go. But after I see them learning the basics of Kenpo and recall my own training which I miss greatly, so I can't help but join them. They also teach us some sort of theatrical dance and later inject some communist propaganda in the middle of it, like waving the communist party flag. Most kids feel a bit awkward but don't question it. Except me, I abandon the class and go talk to the superiors and tell them they can't get away with this, they must tell the kids what it is that they are luring us too. They are quite upset and basically fed up with me. I don't think I thought this through...

      Updated 12-07-2018 at 10:52 AM by 34880

      Categories
      non-lucid
    13. Of Roof Space, Indoor Rain, and Shouting Palm Trees

      by , 12-04-2018 at 07:44 AM
      Morning of December 4, 2018. Tuesday.

      Dream #: 18,978-02. Reading time: 3 min 20 sec. Readability score: 62.



      At the beginning of my non-lucid dream, I am with an unfamiliar woman (of perhaps twenty) in a fictitious room of the Barolin Street house that is implied to be between the main bedroom and the lounge room. There is no furniture in the room. Despite my lack of viable dream state awareness, I am subliminally aware that I am dreaming.

      My dream self believes that we are awake but that I am ritually inducing the dream state. We are lying on the wooden floor. I am aware of Zsuzsanna being nearby, yet I also do not see the unfamiliar woman as an imposter or trespasser. (This is because she is supposed to be the usual Naiad and melatonin mediator, modeled after a young Zsuzsanna, but because I am not viably lucid, the situation is distorted and integrated with other dreaming processes.) I am teaching her how to enter the dream state by creating the illusion of water as autosymbolic of natural melatonin and as defining illusory physicality within sleep. I cause the floor to transform into shallow water (the typical beginning of dream state entry since early childhood), and we float around for a short time even though it only seems about four inches deep. There is an awareness that I am entering the dream state (even though I am already dreaming). I consider that if the water becomes very deep as we go farther into the dream state, sharks might eventually appear below us, but there is no continuity of perceived threat.

      From here, I enter a more vivid dream segment. There are no thoughts about the unfamiliar woman, who has vanished, or of the previous exercise. Zsuzsanna and our two youngest children are present. There is no longer any association with dream entry or being in the dream state. There is a storm approaching from the south. I look out from the lounge room and see odd clouds, one of them shaped like a top. Despite the several big fluffy clouds being white, they supposedly are storm clouds. I try to create a tornado from the one that looks like a top. Soon, there is a loud crash, and something, perhaps a large tree branch (though I do not see it) comes through the roof above the hallway, leaving an irregular hole. Rain comes in. Zsuzsanna and I look at the damage. I deliberately stand under the rain coming through the ceiling. I feel cool and refreshed, and my dream becomes much more vivid. (I have used water to vivify and sustain my dreams since early childhood.)

      In the next scene, I walk around observing water flowing down the walls from the edges of the ceiling. There is a plastic storage box on a high shelf that I feel concern about getting wet, as it may contain textbooks or my dream journals. However, it does not seem that the water is anywhere but on the walls. Through the windows, I look at the cluster of white clouds again and notice more that are shaped like tops, though I try to imagine more than there are.

      Zsuzsanna and our two youngest children look outside and up from (fictitious) lounge room windows at the south end of the room. It seems to be nighttime now. Near our house are two tall palm trees (not a real-life feature). The palm trees start to move in the wind and soon bow down near the windows and, at first, ďroarĒ at us. Loud human voices, somewhat electronic, come from atop them. I find it curious but not unusual.

      Upon going outside, I see that Isaiah Washington (from ďThe 100Ē) is inside a space (as if I am viewing the imagery with x-ray vision) in the fetal position near the bottom of one of the palm trees. He is speaking into a microphone. He loudly and cheerfully states, ďThis is sector seven.Ē It seems that another male (though I do not see him) is inside the other palm tree. The loud voices are coming from loudspeakers atop the palm trees.



      The neurological function of the preconscious simulacrum (Isaiah Washington in this case) is to guide the dream self back into wakefulness (which is known as RAS or reticular activating system mediation or modulation depending on the mode of the dream self) - and enigmatic space typically results in an avatar with authority (fictitious or not) as in this case. The fetal position implies being ďrebornĒ into waking life. The bowing palm trees are the association with a form of vestibular system correlation, the emerging awareness (vestibular precursor) of the return to viable physicality upon waking (as the dream self does not correctly discern the physical body until RAS and the vestibular system kicks in, which often results in flying or falling, bicycle riding, using stairs, and so on). It follows the usual autosymbolism-driven formats, in the same order, that my dreams have for over fifty years, though the processes are always unique and intriguing in their rendering.


      Categories
      non-lucid
    14. Vivid NLs - November 14

      by
      ZAD
      , 11-14-2018 at 04:04 PM (ZAD's DJ)
      11-14
      Dream: In courtyard in front of apartment. Out there with F. We have clothes, our keys, etc. all laid out over trees and tree branches. We just came back from somewhere/are going somehwere? ... I'm in the same place but farther back towards the parking lot (the dimensions have changed, there is a stone cove with a fire pit to the right of us, and we're facing a grassy field and our row of apartments ahead). F now looks like someone else, and a character representing her friend J is also present. We are folding up some (pool?) umbrellas, and as J folds the last umbrellas we can see through the mesh a family of bears right in front of us! Their ears are very strange, sort of like a cocker spaniel's ears but straight up and down. They look angry but we try to maneuver very slowly so that they don't attack -- very intense fear in the moment. They start to come forward then retreat back towards the apartment in the grass. I think at this point my character was dissolved and I was relegated to observer to the F and J avatars. I watched as they made a run for it, J started kicking one of them, who all of the sudden had those kickboxing targets strapped to his hands to catch her kicks? And then ran away leaving F standing there. In the dream, I was really anry at J for leaving F there with the bears. I think this expectation/intense emothion ocmbo made one of the bears strike out at F, and she dramatically fell down, which increased emotion. ... I'm on the sidewalk, my character has returned, I'm fighting with F (maybe J?) and she walks inside a sliding glass door (not ours) and I spit on a postcard (???)
      Dream: High school band/in theatre/band parents watching as band, kids, dance team perform a really bad routine to a song -- what song?/we raise our hands in a temple shape on cue in waves/everyone does it very poorly, Mr. D walks out/outside in hall/stairs talk to L
      Dream: White marble stairs/Din. Moby Dick and church discussion/T from loose drawing to rl/dom
      Dream: Blue juice/dad presents/appliance(?)/leftovers(indian or bbq ramen rice)/dogs and stitch bunny w/ nose fur
      Frag: Tubes challenge/tents?/fluid/miniature woman -- linked to above?
      Dream: Had an FA, then woke for real. Almost DEILD'd but really wanted to remember the previous dreams.
      Dream: (Conan) I'm in a squareish room with dim blue light. I'm naked and just received a large orange banner with some tribal-looking decorations and a bird design throughout. Had a conversation with myself about birds in designs (it's cheating?). The fabric is warm as I unfold it and inspect the design. I drape it around myself and feel it being very warm on my dream body (temperature in dreams - good development). There's a mirror across the way, so I drape the banner around me like a cape and start miming sword fighting like Conan the barbarian as depicted by Frank Frazetta. As I strike my arms out each time, I hit the fabric hard, because it's moving/flowing at a slower timescale than me. My stomach looked far too concave in the mirror, almost hollow, like a bad sculpture.


      Notes: I'm putting ... just to indicate that there was either a scene transition, or something did happen here and I just forgot it.
    15. Dream Fragments Touching on 3 of my Favorite Media Universes

      by , 10-18-2018 at 02:19 AM (The Lab Notebook)
      I enter a fancy, beautiful restaurant in one of the nice towers on Coruscant. I round a corner and sit down at a table with Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi, whom I had arranged to meet there for breakfast.

      I am approaching the main entrance to Hogwarts, but in order to get to the main door, you have to get through a series of challenges and tasks. They include climbing across a sliding metal puzzle-thing (which someone who was there before me has already aligned so that it can be climbed across easily), and washing some dishes and putting them away neatly (again, this has already been done for me). When you get to the main door, you have to sing the Hogwarts school song to the low doorknob to get it to open. Fortunately, I still remember most of it, and I sing the end part of it. The door opens.

      I'm with one of my coworkers, and we are meeting to play a Star Trek RPG. We have to wait for my sister to show up, and I go on a rant about how she can get away with sleeping in late, while I never could when I was a kid.
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