• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. cccxxxv. Gruul's lair raid with NPCs, Space stuff

      by , 10-13-2021 at 05:33 PM
      24th September 2021

      Left recall too late.

      Fragment:

      I'm in Gruul's lair, it's mostly like in WoW but something seems more realistic in detail, characters maybe? Me and a raid group kill Gruul rather quickly. It's a 25 man group but oddly most of the characters aren't actual players? I remember talking to someone too.



      26th September 2021

      There were other dreams but recall was again left too late I think?

      Fragment:

      One bit where I'm in space with an Avorion spaceship. I approach one of those concentric asteroid ring formations. Something later about dad talking to me about a mission or a bet which is worth sixty eight million. I am dismissive.



      Notes:

      - Maybe the realistic character details come from recently playing Conan Exiles.

      - It may have been that I was speaking to L in the Gruul's lair dream but I cannot recall. There seemed to be some kind of backwards logic to the raid progression.

      - I haven't actually been playing much in the way of space games.
    2. cccxxxii. Wrong street and wrong house, Family dispute, Rushed at a supermarket

      by , 10-12-2021 at 08:22 PM
      13th September 2021

      Recall mostly gone, left initial writing for too long.

      Fragment:

      I'm on our street but it's not like in waking life. It's a mix of streets from old London as in films and also of where H's mom lives. I just gout out of the car, maybe on my own. It's day time, but overcast? In the dream everything has a very real feel to it. As I'm dreaming, my memory feels fuzzy; "18, that's not the number of J's door, but this doesn't look like our street?" I think to myself.

      I'm not sure what conclusion I made but I eventually go to ring the doorbell and go in. J is here briefly, I think. The house looks nothing like any of our homes, it just seems dream generated. Something about a pit or elevator shaft. Some task or chore that needs doing, possibly related to it? While indoors, it seems like the outside gets brighter than it had been.



      20th September 2021

      Scraps:

      Getting into fights and arguments with my eldest sibling. As a dream character he blends with some stereotype/nasty dream character archetype. He's treating me like shit and has called me pathetic a great number of times over several days (false memory). I threaten him saying "I can change but you won't like it." I resist an urge to flip the dining table against him. Mom and dad defend me in their ways. Dad mentions something about if he'd had the dream/nightmare that I had... (my recall of this trailed off but there was an implied behaviour that he was being understanding)

      At some point I throw a wooden chair against the wall. (It breaks?) Night time, we're in the second floor of the old home, the kitchen is L shaped.

      Some other dream also involving old home themes, recall vague. I remember looking at some M/M stuff (on the computer?) and then some kind of disagreements?



      22nd September 2021

      Fragment:

      In a supermarket with H. Very realistic, completely dream generated setting. Lots of running (literal?) around, as it's closing soon. Night time, they dim the lights but too much, I feel. I hope that H will complain as I am running around. Then the lights are still dim, but more acceptably so.



      Notes:

      - Recall has actually not been too bad in general for the last few months, but I keep leaving recall too long or falling asleep again without enough awareness to either recall later or to set an intent to notice I was falling asleep.

      - In the second fragment, there's some sort of mirroring with the initial context and an incident when I was six or seven, at school.
    3. cccxxxi. Raiding Nomad battleships, Several family encounters

      by , 10-05-2021 at 12:24 AM
      12th September 2021

      Fragment:

      (earliest dream) Mix of Avorion and Freelancer I think. I go to secret systems, where I attack and destroy (wandering?) Nomad battleships. In one system, there's a super battleship in a dry dock. No enemies at first but doesn't take long until they appear.

      Fragment:

      Stuff about mom and dad and family in general. At one point I'm in a version of the old home, an altered version of my bedroom. I have stuff all over a table or bed. Notebooks, papers, etc. Many of which have drawings of mine. I'm looking for something but it's not drawings. Then at one point mom comes in and starts to look too. Now I'm concerned she'll see some of the drawings. I sometimes take things off her so she can't look.

      (gap)

      Then mom and L are in the kitchen (upstairs). There's a context of breakfast but it's still pitch black outside. I feel really drowsy and disoriented and I feel like I may be naked but nobody comments on it, if I am. I stumble a bit, I think towards the pillar corners in the kitchen, where I feel the fridge is, despite having seen it near the entrance on the left, next to L.

      (gap)

      A relatively long segment where I'm with aunt B and we go around in her car and it has issues at one point. She knows some scruffy mechanics that are actually pretty good as it turns out. The job costs 100 and is done in fifteen minutes. During that time we went to a cafe nearby. Southern P feel and sunset?

      (gap)

      Talking to mom and dad about the previous bit. Then mom asks me if I've been getting the money dad sends me and I'm trying to say thank you, but they don't hear and interrupt me every time too. Then they comment on how I should say thank you and I say (frustrated) I would if I got a chance to speak. Then, we talk about T but I actually want to talk to H but can't remember his name for some reason (language gearing). But so then T appears anyway and he seems ok but mom and dad quickly have a go at him over something minor and he understandably gets upset. Then he goes off in a direction towards a campus or something and we walk off up a slight hilly bit, towards a town or something. (general feel of a mix of home town and L)

      Rest of recall gone but dream carried on for a bit.
    4. cccxxvi. Deuterium auxiliary geneator

      by , 10-02-2021 at 01:08 AM
      4th September 2021

      Fragment:

      I'm with my family and my god mother's family. We're in some kind of hall, but it looks like a bigger version of my childhood bedroom, at least in layout. It also feels partly church-like. There's an on-going conversation about money, savings and debts. It's established that our family has less savings but also potentially much fewer debts to pay.

      Then some discussion just between me and my siblings. We head outside and it's sunny, low angle, maybe misty.

      (maybe earlier in the dream, disjointed) Some bit about needing the deuterium power cell to be replaced for the auxiliary power system of a flats building, maybe where aunt B lives. The deuterium radioisotope generators is in a small outbuilding that's fallen into disrepair, in the shadow of the apartment building. There's a presumably lead-lined window that gives a peek inside. There's a cyan-blue glow inside. I worry on some level about being exposed to radiation.

      (disjointed, part of a living dream memory of sorts) I'm at a place like a mall or the cinema in a mall, reminds me of the one near home. Black or very dark walls? Dark flooring. There's something about WoW. (the false memory feels like it's part of my teen years but being relived)

      Some other bit later on. A church place again? There's a coffin I think. Something about a corpse is important. I fight with someone, a frail-looking but kind of mad (insane) person?



      Notes:


      - Even almost twenty days after having first written this dream, my visual recall was notably better than I was expecting.

      - In the dream and on initial recall I didn't think of it, but the cyan-blue glow chamber with the radioisotope cell somehow now reminds me of that dream I had with the lizard and the blue energy core. Very similar glow. Additionally, this small chamber was notably much darker than it should have been.

      - Most of the dream involved warm colours apart from that glow.
    5. cccxx. Cramped pavement

      by , 08-29-2021 at 07:40 PM
      23rd August 2021

      Fragment:

      Meeting L, mom's old friend from teaching. We're in the ramped bit going out of the cul-de-sac just in front of home. She comments that she taking some interest in me. I comment that it's nice for someone to take interest in you and she agrees. T is with us and it feels more cramped than it should feel, even considering this bit of pavement isn't that wide; it seems smaller than it should actually be and I think there's some clutter nearby too.

      (gap)

      Seeing T's room, it's a bit Japanese in style and actually quite big. Apparently it's his own flat.



      Notes:

      - Rest of recall was gone as I woke up to the sound of the doorbell being rung many times within a second or two. I got up from bed and went to check, nothing. I ended up concluding that it must have only been some kind of hypnogogic hallucination from still being sleepy, it wasn't a false awakening and there are no pranksters in the street, plus it would be way too early for it.

      - I'm not entirely sure what could have brought on L as a dream character, I'm also not sure whether she's ever appeared before or not.
    6. Unexpectedly good lucid car hijack

      by , 08-20-2021 at 09:46 AM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      Competition that turns into car hijack
      I'm spectating a competition were people from two different teams do different objectives. I walk around and look how they are doing their best outside. I walk into a shaft and see how people press a button as fast as they can. I person I know from HŲgstadiet asks me if I can help them. I don't do at first but later on I help them. It's a big hose, more than 1 dm in diameter. I press the black button on the hose as fast as I am able to and see how a liquid is starting to flow from the hose. I am filling a mini pool with the liquid and an instrument is mesuering how fast I am doing it. It goes up to a 5 and all the people around me are cheering. I do it even faster and I'm able to get it to 22 which makes it so that the team I helped won. I ask some people for their phone numbers and Max agrees that it is smart to do when you have won. Someone asks me if I have a driving license and I say I do. They are about to drive away with the car and I get a sudden impulse to drive it instead. This triggers lucidity. I think about how it is only a dream and jump in in the already full car on the driver's lap and start to drive with full gas. I notice that we are driving from the chapel's parking lot. No one is saying anything and I'm a little bit dissapointed because I excpected more action. This raises my lucidity because real people would never act like this. I notice how slow the car is going and I'm suddenly teleported to the back seat but I still have the gas pedal. I don't see anything in front of me and I tell the driver to raise the gear lever but she says that she won't. The dream is becoming darker and my whole body is starting to vibrate which wakes me up.

      Notes: I was really lucid there which made me surprised because I haven't tried to become lucid for a long time now.

      Flying in darkness and calling light.
      I'm in my room, climbing on the furniture that is almost falling. I'm on the top shelf, left to the door and look around me. I decide to go fly out the window instead. This triggers some lucidity. I'm flying slowly and notice that I'm at SturkŲ and not in town anymore. I see how dark it is and scream out that "it will be light!", which makes me more lucid. I keep on flying and see a butterfly but it is weird. It's like a butterfly is taped on a gnome that walks back and forth but I can't see the gnome because it's too dark. I keep on flying and notice that I'm suddenly back where I started and there's finally light! I bright star is shining up everything. I fly over the same fields again and see that it wasn't a gnome but a bird with patterns on it back so that it looked like a butterfly in the dark.

      I'm in a big school. Mom is also there.
    7. 19 Aug: Surreal backrooms and lucid swimming in the ocean and creating garden of Eden

      by , 08-19-2021 at 08:33 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      The big news is that it was made a first successful human head transplant and it was made by switching the heads of two persons. My mom tells me this could be good for Riverstone because they can just switch him to a new body. I am wonderding if he'd do it and struggle with the idea of having my head severed and plugged with tubes and being attached to a replacement body.

      At home with Riverstone and I am butt naked when I spot my dad through the window, bringing someone else with him. I look around for a robe to wear and find nothing. Riverstone is already at the door to open it, so I can't sneak out to my room, because I'd have to come near the door. I have a very long t-shirt and a cardigan in my office, so I put those on. But I am not entirely comfortable as I am wearing no underwear. My dad comes in and finds something strange in my attitude, then I see my uncle Fernando is the person he brought along and I rejoice seeing him as I never got so say goodye when he died. Then I see Rui and I am over the top thrilled. He looks younger and healthier than when I also last saw him and I hug him tight. I ask him to join me outside while my dad and uncle talk. He holds my hand and I take him through a door which instead of taking us outside, takes us into a sequence of surreal rooms and storages, until we get to a small room with victorian decor and a velvet green sofa. We lock the doors on both ends and we kiss and make out sitting on that sofa. But when I stop kissing him for a while, he turns into some girl with black hair. She is cute and all but not whom I was engaged with, so I let her go and leave to the surreal corridor behind the door. I start being chased by a ghost. I can feel it and sometimes even see it as it creates a distortion in the background. I grab a stiletto shoe I see on a shelf and start hitting it when it comes too close. It is invisible but has mass when I hit it. It gives up hiding and appears in a visible form. It is a very big frog and it was just trying to protect something and not attack me. I look behind it and I see what seems like a shop with everything related to frogs. I find it absurd. Then I look around and see now that I am at some huge mall. There are people entering a big supermarket, there is a floor with just cinemas, there are many shops... I don't know what triggers me, but I feel upset with the mindless consumerism that I see, so I raise my hands in the air to destroy some billboard or screen with telekinesis power and I watch people freaking out and panic
      . I become lucid and know I won't hurt any real people, so I start making everything collapse into dust. Then outside I see other big buildings, cars and machines and I turn them all to dust. I want to experience a world where none of this exists anymore amd soon I am walking around in an idylic paradise. Looks like the garden of Eden, food grows in beautiful gardens full of flowers, lambs lay down in the middle of the flowers, people are sitting everywhere in the grass and around lakes, just enjoying themselves and the sun and beauty of the world. Seems wonderful and after a while also quite boring. Nobody does anything but contemplate. The weather is fantastic, food is provided abundantly, no one has to do anything which is great, but then I think maybe a couple cinemas and other entertainment here and there would not be so bad after all, if people kept a healthy balance.
      Anyway, I decide to jump to some other random place/dream so I use a puddle of water as a portal. I plunge into it and as I do, I remember some friend had asked me if I had ever swimmed under water in dreams and how it felt, and I think I did but here is a good chance to try again. Instead of coming out on some dry place, I just dwell on this water and swim away. It becomes an ocean and I see corals and sea urchins and I concentrate on the sensations I am feeling, like breathing under water and the sensation of water in my hands as I push it. It does not feel exactly like the real thing. It feels much more like I am actually flying over the water and what I feel around my body is thicker air and not really water. But I plunge deeper and manage to get a more realistic sensation. I even hold my breath to better simulate the experience.
    8. 10 Aug: Grandma's garden turns into chinese garden, I become rich, my teacher is sick

      by , 08-10-2021 at 10:18 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


      At my grandma's house in Moita, with my parents and aunt/uncle. I am reminiscing about the time my cousin said he had a cancer and did not show any worry, but I felt it was a big deal (and it was). Dad is closing the windows of the house, saying it is time to sleep and I ask if he locked the front door. He says no, so I grab the keys and he asks if I know which one to use. I say I'll find out. Turns out there is not even a door in place to close. My aunt joins me and I show her there is no door and she thinks it's no big deal. Then my mom also joins and while they figure out what happened to the door, I step out in the garden and admire how lush and chaotic it is. It grew into a full forest, but with edible plants all around too. I tell mom I'd like to move in here and she looks worried and tries to change my mind.
      I realize there is a small road passing through the garden that is being used by other people. There are rickshaws taking people through our garden. I watch as one departs empty and the conductor falls down a bridge over a stream at the end of the garden, that cracks under his feet. Other people come to his rescue. As I approach, I am no longer at my grandma's garden, this is in clearly an Asian garden in some Asian country. I'd say Chinese by the style. I then see a temple and go inside. Like in some comedy movie that I am watching, there is a funny scene where some village idiot gets into an absurd situation and somehow is face is reflected on Guru's Rinpoche statue and people think it is a miracle and pray to him. While this happens, my mom comes in looking for me and asks me to leave with her. But I am actually interested in staying and joining a prayer session starting. She complains she does not understand a word it is being said and I point out there are subtitles in the air if she pays attention, but she can't seem to catch them and is upset. I walk her to the door but say I will stay. Then I am surprised by D. Rinpoche who comes from a back room to me at the door and asks me why haven't had a child. And I am like "I don't want to". He insists "why not?". And I wonder why is it so important for him that I have a kid. I explain it is a complex mix of reasons and he asks for the main one. I reply I think Riverstone would be a bad father to my kid. He looks a bit shocked but wants to know more. Then Riverstone is at the door and we have to stop talking, so I bow down to D. Rinpoche and say farewell.

      I am rich, just inherited some hypermarket stores chain and a mansion. I am exploring my new house and it is ridiculous. I have a walk in closet the size of my actual living room and two-storey high, filled with outfits. There is also a room with a full library of comic books and rare graphic novels, and several copies of each volume. I am already thinking of selling some. All is fantastic, I am planning on having a quiet weekend enjoying my new mansion, when instead of all the people who were present, going away, more and more people are coming. Turns out one of the chain stores is right below my house and actually partially going into my house, like that library is actually part of the shop and not just for my pleasure and the walking closet is actually the clothes section, so turns out I don't have any privacy or the things to myself. I feel upset and go through some back door to what looks like a storage area. I am attacked by a really fat crocodile that comes out of nowhere. I climb something and try to stay out of his way but he keeps chasing me. I am saved by a giant toad that attacks the crocodile.

      Accidentally I turn up at some ceremony that will be lead by Rinpoche. He is coming soon and people are looking for a place to sit. The place is a narrow rectangular room, people sit on the floor with their backs against the walls and Rinpoche will sit at the end on the narrower side, on a slightly elevated stage. I get a very good place right by the side of the stage on the floor, but then realize I don't have any of the texts I will need to join in prayer, so I put down a jacket or something to mark my place and get up to go get some texts somewhere. I jump over a wall to get outside more quickly and come across Rinpoche who is just passing behind that wall. He asks me where I am going. I explain I am going to get texts and he says not to bother, and just ask the boy sitting next to him. So we go inside and the boy is sitting on the elevated stage prepared for Rinpoche. He is a very young boy, I believe a tulku, and he is sitting on the stage on a pillow and has another ready by his side. I ask him about the texts and he says he does not have extra but will share his with me and offers the pillow by his side. I am so embarrassed and I say "no, I can't sit there", but he insists, so I ask if we can at least push the pillows near the end of the stage and not be so close to Rinpoche. He indulges by moving like 20 cms to the side. I give up and sit by his side, so very self-conscious of what everybody will think. Then notice I am dressing an exquisite outfit and wearing adornments in my head I didn't had previously. Still nobody in the audience flinches and I wonder "what do they know that I don't?"
      Then Rinpoche arrives and sits on his place but before anything else, he says he has something to share. He says his cancer is back and he just found out this morning. I see people in shock but nobody moves from their places, so as I am so close I reach out to hold his hand, knowing once again this might shock people, but they don't care. Then Rinpoche comes closer and leans to me, crying a bit. I hold him in my arms and comfort him. Tell him I don't think I'll live long either, so let's live one day at a time. Then I start feeling again self-conscious and whisper to him if we can meet later alone. He says yes and nothing else.
      It is only when the ceremony ends that some Asian girl approaches me to say "when Rinpoche leaves, please follow me".
    9. 6 Aug: Flirting with cousin, meeting Nighthawk, exploring backrooms and a tornado

      by , 08-06-2021 at 05:56 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Surreal family encounter, my cousin is still alive and so happy to see me, our energy is pretty good. We flirt, but we have to hide it from the family, so he starts reading poetry out loud from a book and sending me his messages that way. I understand what he is doing, He mentions he'd like to kiss me.
      Then chaos ensues with an electrical storm. There is a circus passing by and strong winds push everything and everyone in different directions. I end up in a Merry-go-round with Captain Jack Sparrow. I wonder about my cousin left behind, but tell myself I wouldn't mind making out with Johnny Depp either. But he is drunk and misbehaving and things go from bad to worse. Then it's like I am seeing myself through a 3rd person or in a movie and the movie dissects how he was actually sober and a really nice guy and it was me, a mentally ill person who messed up. I feel depressed and go for a walk.
      Then I am near Nighthawks house and decide to go to a place nearby take care of some business. I hope he doesn't see me passing by his door and thinks I am there looking for him. I am walking fast but think I spotted him in the crowd on the street through the corner of my eye. I reach a nearby mall and move through the corridors, reaching an art gallery or museum with several exhibits. I feel this is not what what I came for, so I plan to go back and figure out my way, when Nighthawk surprises me. He is looking dandy, in a light brown corduroy blazer. Asks me what I am doing here, that he saw me passing by and followed me. I say hi and I feel an awkward desire to hug and kiss him. Seems like he does to, but we both hold back. We sit on a bench and I explain what I am doing here and where I am meaning to go, He first offers to come along but suddenly holds my hand and says "We're not going there, we're going to my home" and my heart races. We just get up and walk fast through the crowd holding hands. I kiss his hand. When the crowd gets thicker and we get stuck in the middle of people, I hug him and feel his body hot and sweaty. I am also hot and sweaty. But it isn't off putting, much the contrary. I wonder if I am properly shaved (lol) but in the end I am not really feeling hung up by my insecurities, I am genuinely ready to let go of everything and just spend all day with him making out, making love. I feel beyond thrilled that he is not holding back anything either. But before we go, he stops by some tables where a group of ladies dressed in vintage clothing (like 18th or 19th century) are chatting and drinking tea. He says he was coming to meet them to discuss some film they are collaborating on and he just needs 5 min with them. I also sit and he introduces me. They are so interested in me because of something he says about me. Food is served to the table and they offer me some kind of crunchy bread.

      Again with my family, I think in my paternal grandma's village. It's late evening, it is getting dark. We see a fire in the distance and seems to be in the area of grandma's house. We worry and head there but as we approach, we see it is some other house. It is an historical building, of a large wealthy family and the fire is on the 1st floor. The family is moving in and out and I wonder what they are doing. They are taking the elderly out but the youngest keep going inside trying to put out the fire. Seems confined to that floor for now and they say it is also in one particular room. I manage to go inside to help. they don't allow me to enter the room on fire, but I make it to the next room and spot fire coming through the walls and starting to set an old dresser on fire, so I put it out. Then the owner of the house comes in, seems like this is his bedroom, and asks what am I doing here and to get out. He his a big man, dark skin, hairy, big belly, looks middle eastern. He acts like nothing is going on and he plans to go rest on his bed. Seems they managed to control the fire and the whole family is back to normal. Nobody seems to care about my presence, so I take the longer way out, so I can see the rest of the house, which is amazing. I head down to the basement, they have a wine cellar and 3 guys are there talking. I spot a cat carrying a kitty on her back and comment how cute that is. Then the guys notice me and while one who loves cats smiles and engages with me, the others invite me out, so I finally reach for the door. Outside is daylight already. The guy who fancied me came along and I also join some friends that stood outside waiting for me. We walk through this beautiful romantic city that looks from the 18th century, with incredible parks and iron bridges. The guy that came along is about to go his own way, as he feels he doesn't belong in our group, but I let it slip that I find him cute, so now he looks really distressed and keeps walking with us. He is making me nervous so I ask what is he thinking and he confesses he doesn't want to leave me because he is also attracted to me and doesn't want to blow a chance of something happening between us. But I am not that interested and now I kinda fear him a bit, because he seems like he might just snap and drag me behind some bushes and rape me.
      Then we come across a weird place with colorful tiled hallways forming some kind of maze in a park. In some places the tiles form geometric designs like rectangles within rectangles and they don't feel like just decorative.
      I feel they are portals, so I decide to try and plunge into one. I get inside a large place that feels very much like "the backrooms". Besides this large room, I see openings to other rooms and corridors all covered in these yellow and red tiles. I fear it a little bit but decide to trust my powers that I can just decide to cross any wall to get out. So I risk exploring a bit and find one large room whose floor is inclined and becomes ever more inclined as I go further. At some point I decide to just have a bit of fun falling down that rabbit hole and I take my feet of the ground and base jump. But it seems to go on forever, so when it is getting stressful, I spot a square opening on the diagonal floor/wall to another tiled room a level below. It seems horizontal, a place where I can walk right up again, so I fly in, to go there. Once back to a stable horizontal room, I again cross the wall and get out, exiting to the hallway at the park. I find my friends there, but also a bunch of other people around some lady. She can also open the portals on the walls and she uses the rooms like personal vaults. And she cons people. She claims nobody can go inside or risks getting trapped there forever (except her servants who are stacking boxes in there under her command and control). She claims the boxes are full of some cryptocurrency that these people gave her money for. I say that's not how it works and she is pissed. She tries to send me away but I enter one of the rooms that has the portal open. I crash into the pile of boxes, not sure what I am doing, but I expose they are full of buttons and other small plastic pieces. Her goons come to attack me, but I move faster and I get out of there. Problem is one of my friends that came to the rescue, is in a choke hold by one of the goons and I have to go back to rescue her. We all escape and start running down those tiled hallways. Then a pink tornado forms at the end of the hallway forcing us to go back. The tornado is growing and we decide to jump out of the maze to the park, then we parkour through the cityscape getting closer to the river where we find a retro shopping center encroached on a hill, which confers great protection. There is a bunch of old ladies sitting in park benches outside and we yell that a tornado is coming and they don't get it. They recognize it is a little windy and accept maybe a storm is forming but don't have a clue what a tornado is. We almost have to push them. Once inside, everybody is seeking cover in the innermost areas of the mall and we hunk down against a wall waiting for the tornado to hit.
    10. cccxv. Airport troubles and explosion disaster

      by , 08-05-2021 at 07:06 PM
      5th August 2021

      Fragment:


      (mostly the second half of a dream)

      I'm arriving at an airport, supposedly in L. I'm with H. We walk in through a tunnel I think, like from a subway. We're approaching a check-in queue area. It's packed and it doesn't seem to be moving at all. There's a covid context but with relaxed rules, making me feel generally apprehensive.

      This is on one of those upper tiers, though this dream location doesn't quite relate to any specific bit from waking life. There's sunlight at an angle, brightness and colour that makes it feel as implied early morning, just after sunrise. Seems like it would be hot but in the dream I have no recall/sensation of temperature.

      Mom and dad are here at the queue. Mom is impatient and suggests to dad that he might use his airport credentials to hurry them through this. Dad doesn't want to, but he does start a conversation with the woman at the desk. She says that the airport suffered a virus attack a while ago and all the flight schedules are therefore inaccessible (among other problems?). Dad says something about how she could use pen and paper?

      I think to myself that they really should have an on-site IT crew to deal with this sort of thing and that they should restore a physical backup to the system.

      (gap and recall is fuzzy)

      A few things happen while waiting around. At some point H isn't with me anymore.

      Then I'm outside, it's night time now and I'm walking along some hangars, on a typical road that has a stone wall and forested area to the left. I feel I am going away from the airport. Three 1950s-ish cars, all black and kind of sportsy, go past. I make note of their headlights as they go past, with a pretty circular shape. The ground is wet? I end up walking through a residential area of sorts. It's more like overcast daytime now. After a short climb of cobble stairs or something, in a parking/loading area in front of a warehouse, I see three police officers and a police vehicle of some kind (a van?). They are fighting, two against on. Those two aren't real police officers, I feel, but I am not certain.

      They're restraining the third officer, a woman with black hair and pony tail. All their outfits are completely blue apart from a bit on the back with POLICE written in English, in white letters. Uncertain that I'm doing the right thing, I spot a serrated knife with a wooden handle (like one from our WL kitchen) and I pick it up and sneak up to the officer restraining the woman. I stab the restrainer in the back, with a lot of force to be sure I can get through the body vest.

      He falls over forwards and the woman gets away to the right, taking cover behind the police vehicle. The other fake policeman draws a gun and I hide/take cover behind the body. He shoots at me but hits the body a couple of times. On the ground is a Beretta, which I pick up. I wait for a moment and then come out of hiding from behind the body and shoot the fake police officer in the head, he looks surprised as he dies.

      The woman urges me to get in the car with her. I do and we drive a short distance back to the residential bit. We talk and I tell her about the dodgy cars I saw earlier. I tell her the drivers had white racing helmets and seemed to be up to no good. We drive over two oncoming cars on a descending ramp bit. It was accidental but it all seemed fine actually. In the car, I'm trying to find more ammo, because I think that I only have eight bullets left. She can't manage to tell me where more ammo might be, but I get the impression there is none.

      At a certain point we need to get out of the car. It's still wet, and raining now. There's a lot of water flowing through some cobbled part of the path and it looks like there's a bit that's in disrepair where the water is flowing into.

      Eventually I start running, toward the airport area I'd originally come from. I pass the hangars. I see SWAT police reinforcements ahead of me. I get to a more open area and there are implied signs of a massive explosion (but not really) under a huge commercial jet. Some music like "New York" plays but New is replaced with Zoo. I look for survivors and am told by someone (a narrator?) that these two people on a corner, a mother and daughter are the only survivors, supposedly because they were under a blanket together at the time of the explosion.

      The mother and daughter were implied to have been victims of incredibly horrible burns but when the blanket is removed they just look like those wooden mannequins artists use for reference, but they have stylised (and real somehow) eyes that move. The spherical and cubical wooden blocks that make up their bodies seem pristine.

      I realise something about barrels and explosive atmosphere mixture and how nobody should have used firearms. I fall to my knees crying (and wake up shortly after, with leftover emotion).

      Notes:

      - In the dream I did not realise how odd it was that the mother and daughter looked like wooden mannequins but still felt like real people. After waking and recalling the dream, I think about how this could have something to do with how trauma is processed, but I find myself unable to relate to this specific experience in that sense.
      -- This is one of several dreams recently where hard and pure geometric shapes have made an apperance. I am not certain why this is, though a week or two ago I returned to practising basic shape drawing, something I'd been lacking in and on the other hand, I recently read up on Platonic solids and something else related to that subject.

      - Essentially there were two viruses in the dream context, Covid, and the computer virus.
    11. cccxiii. Longing for touch

      by , 08-05-2021 at 06:26 PM
      3rd August 2021

      Fragment:

      I am in some kind of complex, a lab or hospital. Something about hand gel at the entrance and an old man (part of staff) is commenting on its futility. Dark and moody environment, maybe some red lighting.

      (recall gap)

      I'm in a car with my cousin T and our aunt B, plus someone else I can't recall anymore. My aunt is driving and I'm sitting in the middle at the back, with T sat to my right. I'm kind of slumping and when I try to do something about it, it feels like not much changes. Our arms are touching in some way that feels kind of sensual, I feel that she is feeling as I am feeling, that it's a good sensation but that we shouldn't be doing it. On some level I'm concerned someone in the front of the car will notice, but on another level I also feel myself not caring.

      In the dream I think about how I haven't felt this specific pleasure of touch in so long, (as if it had been years).
    12. Small fish, big fish.

      by , 07-29-2021 at 11:13 AM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      I'm fishing on a bridge and I'm able to catch a small fish. I keep on fishing with the small fish as bait. I get a huge catch that is drawing me into the water. I call for help and some other people at the bridge start to pull me. I'm able to reel it in but see that it is only some sea weed on the hook. Some people look up in the sky and I look up too. A giant red fish/whale is floating in the sky. I says something to us.

      I'm invisible at an airport. I walk beside my family but they don't know I'm there. They check in at a restaurant and they take orders. Morgan asks me if I want a doughnut but I don't reply because I'm invisible. She asks out loud if no one else can see me. Some of my familymembers admit with a low voice that they actually can see me.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    13. ccci. Meeting at a church, Visiting an in-dream dream location, Living in a mall

      by , 07-11-2021 at 07:03 PM
      11th July 2021

      ~7:30
      Fragment:

      Transitioning from the TBC era to WLK era. T is there as his paladin at one point. There's something very Roman-esque about the setting? We need to complete some gold-payment quest to continue on into the city. There's a group of randoms with us, part of our party.

      Fragment:

      In a place like L, by the pier area I think. There's a lot of commotion because of an upcoming football match. It's dark-ish, twilight-like, orange and purple hues in the sky? I want to take the subway to go somewhere, but first I got into this church. Many people are leaving an on-going service in the church but many still remain.

      Aunt G enters the church, I notice her and approach, getting her attention. She eventually recognises me and I tell her we should go somewhere together (to make up for lost time?) because I realise this place is actually quite crowded. I don't entirely feel safe, I think. Someone, an older lady but not as old as my aunt, she's putting up cordons and tells us we can't go in a certain area of the church. She had white hair, maybe tied back.

      The church is artificially lit, quite a warm light which contrasts with the twilight. Originally I wanted to move towards one of the areas that was cordoned off. We end up leaving the church and heading down a nearby subway entrance.

      (recall gap)

      We are next to a guy who's a pipe maker. I tell my aunt how many churches just can't afford new pipes, even though they'd benefit from them. The pipe maker gives us a statistic; only about five-hundred thousand out of one and a half million can afford such things. I realise and remark that it's only a third. I also remark that the distribution is going to be geographically unfair or disproportionate, too.

      (after writing these two, I got up and had thoughts about WBTB as I got back in bed)


      ~10:00
      Fragment:

      Visiting a church with H. In the dream, I had a dream where I'd visited this church and it was sort of empty. So, when we're there together, I already know the layout. During the dream, this made me vaguely think of "vision quest" dreaming and that sort of thing (no doubt related to reading Dreamgates before bed). The church has an odd layout, the rooms are laid in an inwards spiralling fashion. One of the back rooms we go through is tiled and looks a bit industrial.

      It has four big cylindrical tanks, all white. They're about twice and a half our height. I understand them to be part of some boiler system. A man, possibly the warden, is showing us around the church, some kind of introduction.

      Before this, me and H are outside. We just got out of the van. It's dark? I don't remember the grounds too well but there are tall trees and low dry-stone walls. H shows me something about a painting, which resides out here, on the external church walls. The painting is very big, mostly vertical. It's about one yard wide by four yards tall.

      The painting itself is kind of sepia in tones. It has a sketch-like look. At first I just see some eyes at the top, like part of an incomplete portrait, but as I move it around (because I'm moving it to hang it on another wall), the image changes. On some level, this makes me think of those "holo" images.

      Fragment:


      At a mall place with H. We live in a flat inside the mall, accessible via an escalator through a store, it's either a clothing or jewellery store. Some people I know from school are here, there's some interaction. Rest of recall is gone.



      Notes:
      - We went today somewhere that took us the same road that we can take when we went to see a pipe maker. This was recently, so I wonder if that dream theme was influenced by this.

      - The TBC->WLK dream theme probably came from a nostalgia of the actual WLK period and from having some interest in its classic revival. On the other hand, I have little or no interest in paying to play the game, especially since there's very little social motivation for me to do so. The last time I went on, the atmosphere was more "toxic" than I recalled, something I found hugely disappointed, making me feel like some people just never grow up. Perhaps when I played many years ago, I was just that much younger that I didn't think much of it/just ignored it or maybe it wasn't that far removed from daily life, but now it would just bother me.
      -- I still find WoW dream themes to be fairly enjoyable, since they do tend to focus on the sense of adventure, combat or exploration, which were feelings that were much more present in me when I was younger. I haven't felt a genuine sense of wonder about anything at all for many years.

      - In the area where I used to live, the mall has flats over it. Although the mall in the dream had a more "airport-shops" feel to it, the rest of the associations seemed fairly close to memory of home.
    14. Hiking for a week

      by , 07-05-2021 at 01:21 PM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      Notes: Iíve been in the Swedish mountains for a week walking with some cousins. Had some pleasant dreams during the time.

      Dreamó Iím walking in the woods and become semi-lucid. I start to fly up a hill and try to understand how the dream is able to generate new landscape as I fly over the hill. I focus on how rocks and flowers move past me and feel blessed to be able to feel calm and enjoy nature.

      Dream ó Iím walking in the mountains and summon water balls that travel forward without gravity affecting them. As they move forward they increase in size so that they always appear to be the same size for me. When they hit a mountain I realize how big they have become as they splash and create a big water explosion on the mountain. An old man appears and he asks what powers I have. I shoot six water balls against the mountains and wait until they collide. The old man becomes very impressed with the power of the water and asks if I can summon tornadoes. I try to but does not succeed. He shows me a special grip with his hands and creates some kind of circle with his hands. As he blows through the circle white clouds begin to create a mini tornado. I do the same and succeed this time. A big tornado sweeps over the landscape and hits a house but the house is strong enough to withstand the tornado. Iím in the city and see some people in my age that talk about school and I think about how I donít need to do school because Iím a superhero. Someone needs help and there is a teleporter next to me but I decide to fly instead. I fly over some waters and my flying is really fast but I canít fully control it. An old man on an island awaits me but he doesnít need any help. He talks about a rabbit and a carrot. I leave and Iím suddenly in an apartment with two girls. The are about to leave but I ask if they can stay for some more time.

      New dream ó Iím by the big road leading in to town and there is a class writing an exam there. I feel happy because I have already completed that exam. I am about to do a side flip because I feel happy but remember that they have an exam and slow down which makes it so that my side flip fails. I am about to fall into the water but I am able to grab the edge and try to go up again. It takes a lot of effort and I canít do it.

      New dream ó Iím the leader of a freak gang. I ask a man with a face like the jokerís why he dresses like that and he intimidates me. I try to stay tough but he scares me. The punk girl and I have some kind of romantic relationship but when I leave the room I see her naked jumping on another man in the room. I leave the room feeling a bit hurt. I enter a new room and a normal boy about 13 years old greet me.

      New dream ó A girl with character in my age invites her family over to my house 09.30 the next day. I forget it and go for a walk. The next day the family is angry with me because I forgot to tell my family and didnít even show up. My parents are there but they donít have emotions. The mom of the other family takes the responsibility to tell me how I need to take more responsibility and that I need to do better. She has some kind of kindness towards me too. The girl and I have a relationship and I am attracted to her. She invites me to a party and I accept. Some blonde guys in nice suits in my age are riding motorbikes and ask me if I want to ride with them.

      New dream ó Eni and I play football on a small grass field and he wins. I feel bad because Iím so bad at football.

      New dream ó Mom and I are hiding in a bush and itís dark outside. Some gangsters walk past us and drop some plastic blue, yellow and red coins. Mom picks them up.

      Notes: We walked a whole day in the forest with lots of mosquitos and put up our camps 01.00 am. Everyone was tired and felt bad. I had a lot of worried dreams which made it hard to sleep. They were about walking tired and a lot of mosquitos.

      Updated 07-07-2021 at 11:19 AM by 97565

      Categories
      Uncategorized
    15. ccxciv. Weird bicycle and family conversations

      by , 06-30-2021 at 06:42 PM
      30th June 2021

      Woken up by postman. Some in-line notes.

      Fragment:


      (going from end to start, kind of) I am with mom, she's taking me on a ride, on some kind of bicycle but it's really long, like ten yards long or something. She's asking me what I think of an alien race on a film that (in the dream) I had apparently watched. I am not too interested in the topic and feel that she is being oddly too insistent about it. (wake up at about this point)

      The whole time, I don't have a good hold of the bike thing and am concerned I might fall off but I persist in trying to stay on. (realistically I could have walked just as fast or faster) The rear end I'm at comes off from the seat area in the front, it looks a bit like one of those streamline cars' side skirts, sort of half-sectioned or something, difficult to explain. I'm holding on to it in a hunched and semi-crouched position. I have my regular clothes on as far as I can tell, wearing my normal boots. My boots make it feel very difficult to keep my feet inside the gap in the panelling.

      I have passing thoughts about how mom is being able to pedal this thing with me on it too and where I'm at a leverage point that should make climbing this bit quite difficult. We're climbing up on the small hill that leads to the newer roundabout, which used to be the P exit. We're on the cobbled pavement.

      A bit earlier, me, T and mom are walking in A, at the roundabout before the other we eventually ride up to. It's morning, sort of sunny but not. The surroundings seem different to how they should be in waking life but I'm not certain in what way. We get to a car and T unlocks it. He gets in and starts the car, it's some old car, maybe like a Mini or an older VW or something. We say something and then me and mom walk across to a pavement on the right, where those small houses should be.

      Soon I become aware of the car's engine being turned back off again, though I don't look. I think something to myself about it, but can't recall what. At this point I'm talking to mom about teachers and smoking. (probably intrusions from recent thoughts on both as concepts) She says you can't really get away from it (smoking) completely in that environment. We talk about teachers' pay and how it varies a lot and isn't quite adequate. Then when we are across and have walked along for a bit, that's where the weird bike thing is and when we get on it.

      Scraps:

      Some earlier dream sequence but recall slipped too much. Something like a game with T. We have guns and are expecting a massive encounter against NPCs or something inside a large building, but then nothing happens. There are flood lights and there's a cold ambience, despite the lights seeming warm in terms of glare. Some teens appeared and I think we hid or something, waiting to hear what they might say.



      Notes:

      - In bed, and before bed, I thought about lucid dreaming for a while and thought about wanting to do something with art or drawing while lucid.
      -- Also had thoughts based on the Dreamgates book reading, about how I have never felt completely comfortable with any name (even ones I've made for myself) and so I wondered what kind of names dream characters might give me.

      - Last night I started feeling really dizzy and just "slow" after midnight, not sure why. Wasn't able to do anything other than lie down and read a small bit.

      - Mom's appearance in this dream is no doubt related to her recent episode. On some level, any family appearance really ought to be enough for me to question reality, but it never is. She was half normal, half not, as hinted by the feeling I got off odd insistence, a behaviour I've only seen a bit of but am familiar with.
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