Recent DJ Posts

I’m in what feels like a casino restaurant. There are some others here, family?, and we’re eating what seems like dinner. The meal, every part of it - spaghetti, sausage, and something else - is delicious. I think we’re done now and get up. Nat, Kass, and Rob are here in the kitchen? We learn that they are the ones who have cooked this, each responsible for a different portion.

Dreamed that I went to a family reunion with all my dead ancestors (whom I've never met).
I've been feeling sad about "losing my family" lately, but in this dream, I was told that those currently alive are only a fraction.

One of my great great something grandpas (don't know how far back he went) gave me a shell that was rainbow-colored like an abalone, but shaped like a conch and heavy as a brick. He said it was important and he wanted me to have it.

Some other family members told me he was sexist, but he never gave that heirloom to his sons and was stingy in general.

Well, that was a nice time.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

In the US, possibly in Washington, but later it feels more like NY. Anyway, I am at some important rally and the speaker's poll is in the middle of some staircase. The crowd is clearly mostly democrats but lots of republican trumpers are in the mix. The speakers are calling for peace and unit and trumpers are yelling "Trump for president". Then Jon Stewart comes to speak and everyone is listening and I wonder why people haven't started chanting "Stewart for president" so I try to start it. But the environment turns chaotic suddenly, with people running away down the stairs and I even see a couple pigs running among the people. People start disbanding. I take some route which leads me to bump into Jon Stewart in some back alley. He is all by himself, so I must speak to him. It's a quick encounter in which I express my admiration for him, but then he has to leave. Since I don' t wanna let him go, I stalk him and clearly tell him I wanna stalk him for a while, hoping he finds it funny and not creepy. I ask if I can walk with him wherever he is going or work for him and help in whatever he needs help. I am basically desperate.
Maybe I look harmless because he agrees to give me a chance. When we reach some place with an elevator he tells me to take it and wait by the door of the 7th and I'll be able to meet his family and stay with them for a while. I am blown away and totally trust him, so I go inside the elevator. The elevator is really just a shaft full of spiders and other bugs through which a very shady wood platform descends. When it stops, I am covered in spiders and other unidentified bugs and creeped out, trying to get them off of me. I am in a hallway with lots of other people and some guys are mocking me but then a couple others decides to help em and they shake off some of the bugs. I am confused if Jon pranked me or was seroous, so I look at the doors with numbers looking for a number 7. There is an apartment number 7, but it doesn't even have a door and each room is occupied by extremely poor people sleeping in matresses on the floor. I don't think I am in the right place but I wait a little, to see how it goes.
Everyone is staring at me, wondering what I am doing there, so I leave. I exit the building and realize I had entered it through a top floor that was street level and now this floor also exits to another street level. I go outside and look at the building number and it is 7, so I wait at this door instead. It is getting dark and I feel a bit uncomfortable, but soon after some nice lady with long hair looks at me and tells me to follow her. I wonder how she knows it's me or how I know she's the one I am supposed to follow, but I go. She walks me into a place that at first seems like a posh apartment building, but soon I realize it is some kind of company. There is a large lobby area with some people sitting on a sofa and a kid playing videogames. She points to them and says something about who they are, but I only focus on the fact their kid is autistic. I tell her I am too, allthough a "light" case. I wave and say high to them. The kid briefly looks but immediately breaks eye contact. Then we enter what looks like an open space office, but it leads almost directly to a very unusual toy shop. Not like toys'r'us, not childish, more like a modern space with designer toys, educational and creative toys and arts and crafts materials. I immediately get hooked to it but then realize I am supposed to be nice to my hosts, so I look around for the lady. She introduces me to a lot of family members, a girl I assume it's her daughter, some playboy dude that doesn't take his eyes away from me and others. But I still don't know how they relate to Jon. I feel like the lady is his sister, she doesn't look like his wife. At some point I sit on some couch in a quiet corner thinking and wonder about my goal here: do I just wanna be friends with the family? Am I trying to win them over? Do I wanna hit on Jon, despite knowing he is happily married? I do consider that and how I'd be okay if he fell for me. I justify to myself that maybe he'd be happier with me. Then I think how silly I am and I could not make him happy, he would just be someone really interesting and entertaining to have in my life, but I could not be up to his expectations, so I abandon that silly thought. I do like the family though and decide to become friends with them. A couple black kids visiting the store or friends of the family sit by my side and tell me their names. They are really cute and very alike, which I mention to them. They say they aren't brothers, just friends but recognize the similarities. Only difference is one has really dark eyes and complexion and the other has lighter eyes and complexion and is slightly smaller, but they look like twins otherwise. Then some younger kid comes deliver me a condom and says some gentleman sent it. He points to that idiot playboy I 've met before. He is waving at me and making supposedly seductive looks and gestures, but to me he just looks ridiculous. I tell the kid to take it back. He goes and comes back and throws the condom at me. I can't with the dude and give him the finger. Then I notice another guy by his side with some sort of mental development delay or cerebral palsy. He is incredibly tall and built up and clearly shares physionomical characteristics with the playboy, so maybe they're brothers. I see the playboy treating his supposed brother like shit, dismissing and ignoring him, and I don't like his attitude. Later on I see this guy alone and become his friend. When later the family gathers to have dinner or something, in private quarters, I walk him in, hand in his arm and he is smiling like the family has never seen him do. The lady that brought me in and her supposed daughter are looking at me smiling in approval and the playboy dude is absolutely ego crushed and not believing this.
Later even, some gentleman of the famiky takes me on a tour to the company and shows me a large area that is not in use and I immediately design a sketch of how it could be decorated and used in extension to the existing shop. He later presents my idea to the family and they all agree they like it and ask me if I wanna work for them and implement it.

Another nap dream which was longer than needed because I had two hours of sleep today and set an alarm for the nap, but fell back asleep. Glad I got my eight hours sleep anyways

In my dream I spontaneously traveled to the Netherlands to go to the cinema with my best friends from high school (coincidentally asked me to go to the film today) we get to the cinema and joke around, there's this goth-alt looking woman who looks like a woman I worked with before at a tech festival as well as the woman who works at a bar in Berlin who's slightly disturbed and annoyed by our behaviour and takes me out of the group because she trusts me the most. We go to a private room and she tells me she's giving me access to the projectors in the building which are big television screens with her face on it, I get to access them when her eyes on the photo are at a certain position. I get on my phone and edit the settings of the projection, having access to a bunch of trip-hop music videos she's made.

I walk back to my friends with a smug look on my face as if the woman took me to a room alone with her to make love to her, my friends all walk up to me like "What did you do???" before my friends are being brought home by a parent, around this time I got a bit aware that things weren't adding up as 1) my friends can drive and 2) it suddenly hit me that I traveled to the Netherlands from Berlin with lord knows what money and had no idea how to travel back. I go to my family home in the Netherlands where my mom meets me normally as if I still lived there saying "Where did you go??"

Then moments before I woke up a "scene selection" screen appeared before my eyes that looked like like this:

• -----
• -----
• cinema kino
• family home zuhause
• -----
• -----

As if I hadn't "unlocked" the other locations
I then suddenly woke up and wrote all of this down here, that scene selection screen unironically is making me wonder if maybe we really are living in a simulation or matrix as it seemed like I was placed in a scenario, which I technically was lol

Dream was in Dutch.

Edit: this is what the "scene selection" screen looked like:
https://soapdispensersalesman.tumblr.com/post/712976182053896192/today-during-my-depression-nap-i-had-this-trippy

Attack on the Landing Bay
I'm in a futuristic spaceship landing bay. There is a crisis going on. Maybe we are under attack. There is a blonde woman (she was a well-known actor but I didn't write this dream down fast enough to recall) and we are running. Apparently, we are being shoved off into a spaceship to go and be the last humans. There is some high emotion involved. We may have had families that were killed by the attack, so not exactly excited to be told that we are to go repopulate. We get into the cockpit and escape.

I slept in an uncomfortable position with my head between my pillows and bad a collection of short, strange dreams.

• I was working different audiovisual related jobs, such as operation a radio tower
• I was in a pop up bank in Utrecht Central Station, where a robbery started to happen and had people with rifles and RPGs shoot the place. I try to distract the robbers and make a run for it towards the exit, but suddenly wake up. I might've been shot and woke up or forced myself to wake up until realising that I was dreaming.
• Half asleep, half awake after waking up from that terrifying bank dream, I stare into the dark as my tired brain generates psychedelic visuals of a vibrantly coloured desert where I blow away the sand, and come across strange, colourful creatures
• I had my theatre school graduation, my family as well as the women that did my hair were there, one of my family members was playing GTA on their laptop and I've been told my classmates and school walked by during an inappropriate scene from the game

There were more, but I forgot what happened. A lot of capitalism-themed dreams, and I know exactly why :U Can't disclose yet but I'm happy about it

I was in some town that looked like it was in New Jersey. It looked like a mix of Lambertville, Princeton, and some other towns. My cousins were all there because they live in NJ. It seemed like it was during the summer. Even some of my cousins from Pennsylvania were there. For some reason, I got in a fight with my cousin that I'm closest with in the dream. But then we were good afterwards lol.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Walking up an alley of a park with a younger sister or cousin. On arriving at a terrace where there is a restaurant, we are cut off by barriers and cannot pass, because Ronaldo has booked it to have a private lunch there and no one can go throughit. I am upset and try to go around, but then he arrives by car and also blocks my way. I try to just ignore and move on, but something happens and he ends up also taking a walk in the park, almost side by side to us. As I reminisce to my companion about this place and some memories from my childhood, I notice he is listening and curious to know more. He asks me something about a street ahead and I suddenly remember stuff about it and drag him along in my revisitation of the place. I stayed there in a pension for some time and as I remember more details, I basically offer him a tour to this small town. He totally abandons his lunch plans and just joins us for good. Then we pass by a small place I mention has great veggie food, very basic but delicious and I invite him to have lunch there with us. He makes a bit of a snarky comment because of the veggie food, but then is really surprised to see that it is a very simple place with locals and not some fancy modern joint and I see curiosity won. I swear to him he will not forget about this place, either he likes the food or not, just because it is so authentic. By chance my dad is there with my aunt Ana and other people. They are waiting in line because there are no seats. I join them waiting in line and Ronaldo says we don't have to because of who he is, certainly they'll get us some table. Of course people recognize him when he enters and talk about it and some are very welcoming to him, but those that are sitting and eating with friends and family aren't bulging for him to get a seat and the fact is there really are no tables. What people do is they rearrange the tables so we have an area where we can sit on the floor if we want. I am ok with it, but he is not and so we just leave and continue our tour outside.
My dad reminded me that not only we spent some vacation on this town, but that we own an old house on this street. I am surprised and can't remember that at all, but he says it is that small property that appears mentioned on the IRS form and somehow it makes sense to me. He says it's just a couple blocks away, so I go look for it. Spot some folks building up a new house in the place where I thought was ours, can't figure out which one it is, so then we return and keep waiting for a table at the restaurant. By now Ronaldo is definitely feeling the hots for me and he grabs me by the waist and grabs my ass and pushes me against a wall, about to kiss me. But then my dad suddenly appears and ruins the moment. Ronaldo goes get some air for a minute and my dad comes talk to me. I guess he must be really proud that I am snatching such a rich famous guy and indeed he is, but also makes some comment about his manners and I have to agree that he is not exactly being a gentleman with me. I am not sure how I feel about it.

Walking by a boardwalk by the sea, recognizing some places. Seeing them with so much detail and thinking I don't wanna go there, because it is a place from another dream I had one day and nothing good came out of it. Then realize I am dreaming and it is a very stable lucid. The first thing that comes to my mind is to summon Avalokiteshvara. I really don't know why that was my first thought, but I did. Unfortunately, I immediately get surrounded by a pack of menacing growling dogs like dobbermans and rotweillers and I have to climb over a wall to protect myself. They keep jumping at me, viciously trying to attack me and I realize they are the protection mechanism or agents that always come if you try to liberate yourself, or meet those who can help you with that. I hadn't met them in a while. Then I remember that they have no power over me unless I give it to them, so I point the palm of my hands at them and slowly push them away with a kind of force field that makes me untouchable. One by one, the dogs step down and leave. I keep walking down the boardwalk while repeating mantras and continue to call for the deity. Don't see it anywhere but some lady approaches me offering me t-shirts. I say no and she insists that I follow her. I feel she is up to no good and accuse her of trying to distract me. After insisting a couple times, she walks away but I keep an eye on her as she walks towards the ocean and stays on the sand at the beach nearby. Wonder if she may be a manifeststion of the deity inviting me to come along and I rejected her, but I don't feel it. She passes by me again and leaves a box on the sand. Some girl says this is a gift to me but I am still suspicious of her intentions, so I don't touch it. The box opens by itself and contains gold statuettes of what initially also look like deities, so for a while I think this might be a sign. But as I look closer, the statuettes represent just common people in sex acts, like one lady going down on another and a threesome where someone is banging another from behind. Don't know what all of it means, but I think this is just Mara tempting me with distractions. Then I wake up.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At my grandmother's in Moita with my cousin Cris. I look through a window on the back and the garden outside is really green and lush but something awful is happening. Some black woman is on the ground trying to ressuscitate her baby girl who is lying inanimate on the grass. Then some man approaches and tries to help but the baby isn't responding. At first I don't feel like I can help and I just watch them doing CPR and hoping for the best. The baby wakes up and stabilizes for a while. They put her on a carrier and she soon passes out again and stops breathing. They do CPR again and again but the baby keeps stop breathing. I decide to jump outside and try to help. I examine the baby and I think I know what's up. I reanimate her and don't put her on the carrier, instead put her against my shoulder and walk around until she burps and barfs and expels a lot of bile that was continuously coming up and blocking her breath. She then stabilizes and I tell the mother the baby suffers from really bad reflux and needs to be checked out but will live if treated.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At my paternal grandma's house, fighting with the front door that I think is locked but at the minimum touch just falls out of place. My aunt Ana comes by, very distressed and says I should try again to close it, but only after she goes outside for a bit. She goes outside and warns me about my cousin Cris who is apparently causing mayhem inside, with threats to her parents and whatnot. Then some shadowy figure passes by me and I think it's her, but it is actually Duarte. He doesn't even say hi to me, just seems to want to avoid our family altogether and also heads outside in the semi darkness of dusk, to stand alone and quiet. Then my uncle is in the kitchen, quietly avoiding talking about it when Cris erupts from inside the house and heads outside to lash out on my aunt. I try to rationalize what is going on and say to myself they just need to talk. Then I go to the living room to meet my mom. The corridor light is off and the living room is also in total darkness. I feel goosebumps because of the ghost at the end of the corridor, but knowing my mom is in there calms me down. I enter the room touching around blindly, and hear my grandma's voice. She is clearly hallucinating, talking about some past job and arguing that she can do some task. I am not sure if I should tell her the truth or play along, then my mom suggests that I should pretend, so I sit down on the floor besides the sofa where she is laying down and I put a hand on her body, and play along with her story, making up replies to whatever she says.

I'm in a world where people of different tribes are ruled by fear of some thugs who took control. Every month or so they select one tribe and ask them to offer a bunch of people to sacrifice. From that group they usually only kill two, but it depends. If people volunteer, then maybe they don't pick others. This time is my tribe's turn and I am part of the group who volunteered to go. I have managed to convince them to actually start an uprise. All of us are willing to die for it, but we want to succeed, so we contact the leaders of other tribes before going. We don't manage to get even one to join us, but I am convinced they will if we start something and show them we can win. When we're there, we're almost caught conspiring but we manage to pretend we're just preparing for our sacrifice. The guy who almost caught us, has a huge crush on me and I know he will not let me be chosen, but he hints that in exchange he will probably be able to keep me as a slave for himself. I wonder how I can use that to our advantage on the day of our revolt, but it isn't clear. For now, it allows me to get closer to him and he takes me to see the location and stage of the sacrifice event, so I use the chance to study details that might be useful. One thing I notice is that a big storm is coming and might wreak havoc the next day, helping us. On the day of the sacrifice, our leader decides to offer himself and he leads the way. Then he kills the guards and starts the fight. The storm had happened at night and left damages in a dam nearby. So we sent someone to blow it up and it breaks apart. The water floods the district where the dominant tribe lives, killing and scattering them. These images are broadcasted to everyone else who then joins us in the fight. We win at the end.

With my mom attending some conference in a big tent in some exotic place. People from all over the world and it is all in english. I ask if she understands what is being said, and she says it's ok, but I can see she is making a big effort to follow. It is supposed to be about facing climate change and adapting as a society but soon I recognize the speakers and realize it will be a bunch of disinformation and new age BS about changing consciousness and moving to other dimensions. I tell her that, but I think she knows and doesn't care. I cope with the first session, but at the break, I go outside to breathe deep and I am amused at the kind of people who are there. There is a group sitting on top of a wall focusing down on a rock trying to make it levitate. Just for fun I tell them "try me" and then I start levitating. Unlike what happens in other dreams, they actually gasp and are shocked. They immediately know it wasn't their powers that did it, so it could only be my own. Soon I am surrounded by every attendee, begging me to share my secrets and how I developed my powers. But it doesn't happen, because we're attecked by some white planes that look more like disks. People say they are chinese planes but look more like spaceships. They drop some kind of bombs that bury in the ground and implode colapsing everything on top. The ground seems to dissolve in big pixels that and then dematerializes. People run in all directions and just nearby is the city limits. It also gets attacked and entire streets and the subway system collapses pixel by pixel, as if it is a simulated reality being deleted. I am getting tired of running and remember again that I can fly, so I shoot up and land in some other city area by the sea where people seem unaware of what is happening on the other part of town. I need to know where I am, so I pick up a map from some tourists and see a bunch of islands with Tenerife marked in one of them.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Blown by a strong wind, get KO and when I wake up I am in a parallell universe. I am with the same partner but all my pets are different: the cats are dogs, yet I recognize them all and I have quite a few more than the ones I know.

Kidnapped and forced to detonate a bomb. Several people caught in the same situation refused to do it and blew the bombs elsewhere, hurting their plans. I want to do something similar, but I also want to survive it. At the last minute the bad guys realize my plan, so they send me with a handler to control me. I still manage to find the right spot, where blowing the bomb won't harm others and I manage to jump and throw the bomb away, so it blows while I escape it. I watch the bad guy being projected and his head smashing against a wall. I am only hurt but people find me and care for me. They know what I did and they celebrate. I get acquainted with the locals and I meet some autistic kid that I become fond of. We become friends and he loves to hug me and I love covering him in kisses.

I encounter my uncle Filipe under the bridge in Alhandra. I throw a cup of nuts to his head and then try to hit him, but then he looks like my cousin João and I feel pity of him. He also looks scared and I tell him I want to forgive him. He burst into tears and we hug, but he still says he can't let go of my mom's betrayals, so I yell at him that he is insane and all my mom did was being a saint and done nothing but favors to him and her siblings by caring for their parents. He understands I am serious. Still he is not entirely sure I am saying the truth. I then leave to meet mom who is calling me on the phone, worried. But as we speak, I find myself in Vila Franca, looking for a bus to get back to Alhandra. The town is full of highschoolers and college kids all tanned in bathing suits and party clothes, but there is also a bunch of nerds dressed as Halloween characters. For some reason I end up fighting with the nerds with a bat while they brandish fake swords.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Attending some teachings, some place up in the mountains with an amphitheatre. Some old students and western lamas are conspiring to betray my teacher. They are exposed and they are sent away. Joakim was not among them, but he concerns me a lot. I know that he is no longer a buddhist, has some new non recommended friends for company, so I suspect he is around only to cause harm. I stay close and keep an eye on him.

New series on TV with Keanu Reeves. He plays a lawyer with a split personality. He sometimes dresses up to match the personalities, but it is highly disturbing. One of them is a dog and he wears a dog costume and walks on four legs and looks weirdly like a real dog from the uncanny valley. Some other of his personalities are of black guys and he paints himself in black face. The makeup is so perfect that all we see is really a black guy, but we know who's underneath and I am shocked that he is actually doing this on a show in 2022. Then an episode in which he is the dog becomes a real life experience for me and I meet dog Keanu on the street. Although I know there is a person in there, I pretend I don't know and I pet him and talk to him as if he is a lost pet. He never says a word and then he runs across the street away from me and enters a bulding. I go after him. I walk through a long twisted corridor and I see many families gathered in rooms, mourning their loved ones, or just visiting them and realize it is some kind of hospice. Dog Keanu disappears at the end of the corridor and I get lost inside the last room, only to find my mother and my aunt Ludovina laying down in beds. At first I think they are restrained because my mom has an eye mask and for a while it seemed like she had a mouth gag. Turns out she is just taking a nap and she wakes up and moves freely. She explains that my uncle Francisco managed to get some legal document saying they both are insane and needed to be committed so the hospital complied. But she says that the situation is being solved right now and she is just resting before she leaves this place. Then my dad and aunt Lisa arrive and they say they just challenged the decision and are awaiting their release. Then both my uncles come by to confront them and for some reason I have a really big heavy pan on my hands and I threathen to smash it against their f-ing heads if they come any closer. They actually get really scared and go to a corner at the back of the room. Their kids also come, namely João, Sara and André and they are shocked with my behaviour but I also feel that they understand it. I hear my uncles talking in the background with other people, arguing they need the family money because sometimes their kids go hungry. I feel sad for my cousins, but it's their parents fault and not my mother's. I wanna reach out to them, but every one is staying quiet in their places so I decided to do the same as we wait for the legal fight to unravel.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

In a spaceship like the ones in Star Trek. It is a very large one and we're dangerously close to the surface of planet Earth doing some high risk maneuver, trying to escape some other spaceship in pursuit. This maneuver was never accomplished and our ship is shaking and creaking like it is falling apart, but it holds up. The other one doesn't and we watch it be ripped appart. Then, I am not sure if by the effect of our massive ship or something else happening on the planet, but the ground below is also breaking apart, I watch a road cracking and breaking apart and some high pressure water jets coming from underground hitting the ship. There is a part of the ship which was severely damaged, which breaks apart when hit by these water jets and falls into the surface. It brings me and a couple collagues down with it. We don't know what to do when on the ground. First we run after the ship (as if we were running after a car) but it is massive and it isn't stopping for us. Then we run through a town to find some specific place, I think maybe some place from where we can communicate with the ship. I and another girl, we lose track of our male colleague who was running ahead of us and he is the one with the coordinates. We emd up inside the building of an airport and I look for clues of where he might have headed. Anything. I find a decorative flower bed with some plaque identifying plants by numbers and I notice some numbers are not correlated to plant names as other numbers are and I assume it is a coded message he left for us, but it seems incomplete. My colleague thinks I am reading too much from nothing and that this was not made by him, it is just some random incomplete info on an abandoned airport.

At my mom's, very early morning. But she isn't home, she is enjoying some well deserved vacations. Unexpectedly I have other family members with me, like my deceased uncle Zé F.. I am looking for bread, coffee and cereals to prepare breakfast. We have a TV in the kitchen and I am looking for some news or show to put on for my uncle and whomever else is with us. But all channels are playing weird stuff. On the public network they are playing some videoclip of hispanic rappers singing about gangs and I wonder why the hell they are playing that on what seems like a weekend morning. The videoclip grasps my attention as it is filmed in Lisbon. Then I am there, walking through old Lisbon. It's still early morning, so there are very few people on the streets, but groups are arriving and descending from buses. We're near some church or cathedral and I spot some weird poster on a wall that reads like a newspaper and ther is some news story that Greta Thunberg is dead in a car accident with her father. I am shocked and turn around to discuss it with someone but when I try showing them the poster where I read it, the poster is gone and I am confused. I decide to keep walking and I see a bunch of tourists hangin out and listening to a guide in front of the church. I realize they are catholic devotees. I think to myself this could be a lucid dream and I would use the chance to prank them. Then I realize it really is a dream. I think what to do and have no concrete idea, so I just lift off in the air to try to prank these believers by claiming to be some celestial apparition, but it doesn't go as planned. I feel a very intense undescribable sensation in my mind, as if I am not just flying, but dissolving from this dream reality and I get very dizzy. I notice the dream characters don't even notice me, so what's the point of trolling them. Instead I fly away from the city and over a hill full of trees and just enjoy the landscape while thinking what to do. I latch on to the top of the tallest tree I see and wonder what would it feel to shrink to microscopic level and explore its microscopic life. So slowly I shrink myself to the size of a bug and I go down inside a crevice on the tree trunk, feeling the textures of the wood and mosses and water dripping. Then slowly shrinking more. But I eventually reach a dark crevice with dirt and I can't see a thing and feel my body stuck and unable to move. I try not to panic, think about either shrinking more or just expand to full size and blow up the tree to get out. But I doubt my abilities for a second and then I no longer can't do any of it. I wait still for a little bit but the dream isn't changing, it's just me in a dark tight hole and I feel like I can't even turn my head. I am starting to panic and wondering if I am just experiencing sleep paralysis and not on a dream anymore. So I decide it is not worth it and it is better to wake up.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

With my parents, meeting my aunt Ana, cousin Cris and cousin Duarte at some mall. They bring along a strange creature they say is a chinchila, but it is the size of a human child and has short curly black hair looking more like a poodle-monkey hybrid. I ask if I can pet the creature and then it just talks like a human and speaks for itself. I am flabbergasted, I don't even pay attention to what it says. My cousin keeps it under tight control and following orders, but I notice this makes the creature feel uneasy. While the adults scramble to figure out who goes on what car to where, I get to talk to the creature privately in a corner. Meanwhile it had shapeshifted and now looks like a totally human girl. I realize she has serious mental issues. She is starting to have a meltdown with the idea of accompanying us to a restaurant. I tell her I understand and ask her what she needs to calm down and feel more comfortable. She is stimming and clearly wanting to shut down but my cousin demands she looks him in his eyes and obeys him. I tell him he must not demand her to do what makes her uncomfortable. I explain how hard it can be for an autistic to keep looking in the eyes, even sometimes with people as close as our own parents and that I believe she also suffers from a similar sensitivity and she should be respected. She starts to like me and even allows me to hug her and thanks me. But then at the restaurant, she just sits on the floor between the wall and the table, clearly in distress and she starts damaging the table with some kind of drill. I don't know where she got it. Turns out it is her stimming tool for when she breaks down. I reach out to her to see it and she hurts my hand with it. Not sure if accidentally or she just lost control of her emotions, but I can tell she regrets and stops drilling the table. I ask if she wouldn't prefer a different stimming object, like a squishy plush and I show her mine. She says no, she needs something sharp and violent. She argues she is a carnivore and has all these violent instincts being supressed constanly and I tell her I am sorry that I don't know enough about her species (I had already forgot she ain't human). I promise to learn more about her and try to help her by understanding her feelings better. She reacts well to compassion and she does calm down with just my conversation. She asks me to go outside with her for a little while. We go outside the restaurant, which is in some unfinished three towers' compound. We are at the ground level and the three towers share an open air lobby on which we walk a little bit. She spots some dudes working on some electric and electronic panel and takes an interest in it. She studies the sockets and the cables and takes a look inside the office behind it. I wonder what she is doing. When the men start asking what we are up to, she compliments the men for their good work and they feel proud and thank her. I ask what she is doing and she says she needs to print some doc and she is checking the eletronic installation going into that officei because she wants to hack it and print something to show me. Then she infiltrates the office, checks a big main central computer screen and then looks for an empty desk. Someone spots us and a lady at a computer asks what we want and accuses us of a hacking atttempt. I explain to her what's up and that my friend just wants a harmless print, but is indeed putting her hacking skills to test and I confess that I played along just to see how well she manages. Then ask the lady for her help and she is very understanding and just prints out whatever my friend wants. Then I tell my friend that sometimes she can just ask someone for help if what she needs is simple and unproblematic. She is surprised that another human we don't know would just cooperate and I tell her she also still needs to learn a lot about humans.

2022 July 4th

Long dream. Left recall a bit late and wasn't sure how to describe some bits. Didn't sleep well.

Fragment:

In the first part I am with H and another couple. We are in some kind of airport place? There's not that many people. I offer to pay for a trip to Germany to the other couple, which might be where they're from. I have some ulterior motive (can't recall what).

(recall gap)

Me and H arrive at some building in a car and then we have to go through some kind of trials and it's a bit like a game? The first notable room I recall is like a theatre hall and a bit of a church. It's kind of low for the type of hall it is. The wood in the hall seems to have a yellow tone like it's all gold leafed. Red curtains.

(recall gap)

Then I'm somewhere else with sibling T. Somewhere more like an industrial complex but on canyons. We try to connect some power things but I'm not sure what they do.

(recall gap)

In a similar kind of canyon area with floating sections and things like that. We are struggling to find the way from one floating section to the underside of an arching canyon. I use a kind of grapple thing and make it. On this small underside ledge, there is a mouth-like opening and clawed tentacles await and look aggressive. I keep myself teetering on the edge and holding on to the rock above with my left hand, using some weapon on my right hand to slowly pick off all the tentacles. My brother doesn't try to jump to the same ledge. After I've killed all the tentacles, I step toward the mouth opening and feel a bit annoyed this is the only way down. I don't particularly feel like getting wet. It looks fleshy at first but as I make my way down its oesophagus the experience seems to become more neon/digital and less accurate.

(recall gap)

In a more abstract place in which we have to run through over these procedural platforms and kill enemies. It feels like a CoD game.

(rest of recall lost)



2022 July 9th

Dream:

I'm outside on a street. I'm cutting down a streetlight post using one of my palette knives. Somehow, I'm managing alright to cut through the thick steel. But as I apply force, eventually the handle gives and breaks off from the blade.

Then I'm indoors at home. I'm asking H to fix the palette knife and saying I need to go back quickly to finish it. I mention that the wires inside could be live and half jokingly H says we could do with the insurance money.

Before that, outside on those same streets. They're not from any waking location. Looks more like from a game. Some house appears and disappears when I look in a certain direction. Before that I'm talking to mom but still in this place. I'm asking her about some hallucinations. She tells me that it could be because of the person I work for(?), inheriting their psychic stresses or something.

Scraps:

Earlier. Something at some kind of hotel place. (from earlier awakening)

V messaged me saying hello on Discord. I reply "Oh, hey" but can't recall anything else.



Notes:
- The oesophageal segment is probably the most memorable part of that dream, as at the time of writing this over a month later it's one of the few bits I can recall clearly, visually. It's also one of few occasions I've had of such nature, I think all of which have only happened in the last few years, despite the fact that themes of "consumption" have always been with me.
-- On spending a bit more time re-reading the dream, some of the rest of visual elements have come back to me. Some of the floating/canyon areas have similarities with some BL biomes.

- I think when I replied to V's message, that dream had ended and I woke up at that time.