• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. Driving, arguing.

      by , 09-19-2020 at 12:12 PM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      Awake|Dreaming|Lucid

      I'm in a car and Simon is also there. We argue very hard and there are many angry emotions involved.


      Notes: My brother is annoying me when he is talking about all these games that I don't actually care about. He insists on telling me things that I don't want to hear.
      Tags: angry, family
      Categories
      non-lucid
    2. clxiii. Dream marriage, erotic art, medieval/fantasy combat

      by , 09-12-2020 at 04:47 PM
      Finally done with catch-up now.




      8th September 2020


      Fragment:

      Very long dream, poor recall because I had no chance to write about it until the evening.

      A small housing area. Modern-style appearance, cubical lots of white and concrete and glass, but low flats? Two, three story at most. Vague details of it, but the plot revolved around marriage and the dream characters were all fictitious. I was myself, but mostly only in a physical sense, my life here was its own life, created by the dream.

      The dream character I was supposed to marry was some girl, with odd hair or something? There was a Middle Eastern or Italian feel to her family. Maybe just Mediterranean in general.

      Her father was famous/infamous. I think he was especially notorious for what he would do when he disapproved of a groom. I remember at first I did meet with his approval but at some point I realised this wasn't due to last, for some reason. Then, when he did become disapproving, he did not treat me as cruelly as he had treated others in the past, but warned me that something bad was to happen?

      The girl became distant. Most of the dream's plot took place at their family flat.

      11th September 2020


      Fragment:


      Again long dream but recall faded, left it too long.

      I'm in some kind of fantasy action RPG. By the end, I entered some special hell area (very orangey) through a portal. The portal was framed by some sharp obsidian fang shapes?

      I remember dying in that area, a stupid and avoidable death I think. That made me lose a lot of progress, at least of everything I'd done in there, which I now couldn't recover for some reason. Interactions with some narrating npc?

      Fragment:


      Micro dream where I'm looking at erotic art on my PC. The explorer layout is not my usual one but in the dream I don't make special note of this. A lot of the art is greyscale or line art only. I think about tracing some of it for practice but I end up feeling aroused as I'm looking through the pieces. Some of them were real ones I know from waking life but I think many were simply dream-generated.

      Fragment:


      Another dream in which I returned to the context of the first one. I was some warrior class character and fighting waves of humans and dwarves equipped with dark-ish metal armours. Every so often when I killed enemies, red banners would prop up on a black pole, with semi-random frequency. I remember looting some items.

      Was too tired to make note of more and recall faded too much.
    3. clx. Familiar church, Boss in a dark area

      by , 09-12-2020 at 03:38 PM
      3rd September 2020

      Fragment:

      Some garden, part of a big house. Remember being there with someone else but not sure who now; also there were some dream characters that were like old schoolmates? I remember the house vaguely, a bit like a manor and fancy glass? Gardens with low hedges.

      Then I remember walking down a street, typical appearance of my native country, cobbled paths, a road in along the middle, walls painted a white colour. It was daytime, overcast? At a church entrance with my sibling T and at some point we're both waiting for dad, but eventually we go in I think. Dad had gone to a car garage?

      The church was at the end of the street from before. The church was built out of big limestone blocks.

      4th September 2020

      Fragment:

      End of dream, dark area, maybe night time. Sort of urban? There were buildings and maybe scaffolding, wooden planking. There was this wide open hall area but it was still dark or poorly lit and it lead into a more central chamber. Maybe there was a hole in the middle of that chamber? There was a very blue light coming from below and a boss of some kind. Felt like a mix of KF and WoW and the area seemed inspired by the Sceptre of God in PoE.



      Notes:

      - The church from the first fragment bears some resemblance to the church we used to go to as a family when I was younger.
      - I'm thinking now that it's interesting that dreams don't often feature dad, but in this case the dream featured an absence of dad. In my childhood I often felt dad was a bit absent. Besides mom, T was probably who I spent most time with from the direct family.
      - The blue light has made me curious. Blue lights often have a sort of recurring/stereotypical appearance in dark areas for me if I look back through dreams. There's usually an accompanying sense of mystery.
    4. clviii. Chinese museum, Covid concerns and Back in the past

      by , 09-12-2020 at 01:47 AM
      30th August 2020

      7:20

      Dream:


      Last part mostly. Not too interested in full recall. Was walking around somewhere with someone, an old schoolmate, maybe C? We're talking about buildings for some reason and then there's no transition but we're in "China" and I see Chinese soldiers in what looks to be a kind of ceremonial uniform.

      Covid times in the dream. But nobody is wearing a mask, not even myself or who I'm with. We're at some exhibit building and it involves going down a long set of stairs underground. People don't seem to be respecting distancing rules and through all of this I'm getting casual contact with random people and I'm touching my face, for some reason. I become concerned, but feel that because there's nothing I can do now, I just carry on.

      Eventually we leave back up the stairs. Even the soldier and the attendants don't care about distancing and contact, this bothers me on a very basic level. My dad then appears at some point and complains about it all.

      Some transition and then Deus Ex themes and fighting Paul Denton, but I'm still myself? Before all of this, I remember roaming cobble pavements late at night?

      I make note of the fact that it's the past, I just have this knowledge in the dream somehow, something like the 60s? Don't know exactly but some cars have unusual UV headlights or something, because everything that's got white on it lights up bright because of the UV headlights when cars go past sometimes. I distinctly remember old-styled cars and lorries.

      There's a dog walker at some point while I'm walking along the pavements; we try to avoid each other and I'm on the grass.



      Notes:
      - There was a very loose and casual link, I think, between the Chinese soldiers and Deus Ex, since there are several levels in the game that take place in China. It was also a game that I played back when I knew C.
      - Dad's appearance seems to just be a reflection of some of my own thoughts but besides that his behaviour was mostly as I might expect it to be.
      - The covid themes in this dream I think were mostly part of a subconscious digestion of my own processing of certain situations in waking life.
    5. cl. Three pears

      by , 09-03-2020 at 12:04 AM
      Really need to finish catching up on DJ, getting close to current dreams now. I also feel I maybe do need to start giving proper titles to my DJ entries for quicker reminders at a glance of what they're about. I don't like doing it sometimes because I often change my mind about what the focus of the dream was.

      11th August 2020

      Dream:


      Somewhat fragmented. One of the first parts was inside a building, nicely decorated. Public works type of building. Something about me needing a Greek lawyer, without this lawyer some cronies would just be able to punch me as much as they wanted or something? Marble flooring and generally ornate detailing. Don't remember much else.

      Then I remember coming out from my old home building's main entrance. I casually walked across the short distance to the entrance of the shop here. The fruit stands weren't where they'd normally be. They were all piled up on top of one another by the entrance, kind of.

      There was a basket with green pears. The entrance seemed wider than I remember it? Theo was standing there, watching, so I asked him for some of those pears and he asked how many. Three, I replied for whatever reason.

      He put the pears in a clear plastic bag and then I walked closer and he gave them to me. Then I went in the shop and he returned to his usual business. It was surprisingly busy inside. The layout was a slightly altered version of how I remember it, but with a bit of expansion that wouldn't be physically possible. (In which direction?)

      I roamed around inside the shop. There was a display counter (where he'd typically have the cheeses, hams, etc.) and I saw some of those heart shaped pastries I like in there. I got two and put them away somehow, in a bag? I remember looking around a bit more but then the next thing I remember is being outside and walking back toward the building's entrance.

      Mom came out of the main entrance, I think, and T was arriving from the main entry point into the cul-de-sac. I remember thinking this was all in good timing, as we could then have an afternoon snack together or something.



      Notes:
      - I think I feel this dream is something of a closing chapter on some of my older memories. My family looked as they do now and I felt as I do now. But the shop had already changed after I first left. Theo no longer owns and runs it and that's a part of my childhood that will remain nothing more than a memory now.
      - I can't remember why three may have been significant (three can always be significant for whatever reason we want, there were three pears and three of us and so on...) but the dream's choice of fruit in the pear was probably because I had recently had thoughts about having pears, a fruit I haven't had in quite a long time now.

      - Though I don't remember the details specifically anymore, I think it was a sunny day.

      - I have a rather peculiar thing with timings, for some reason. The encounter of my mom and my sibling just as I'm coming back to the building's entrance is just such a simple example of my peculiar timings but over the last few months I have found myself having a lot of passing thoughts about my timings.
    6. cxlix. Duplicitous family & Arresting myself

      by , 09-01-2020 at 02:20 PM
      9th August 2020

      Fragment (DFLN thread):

      Part of a long dream, the last part revolved around this kid with autism and he'd made an explosion or something. He lived in a mansion all on his own? And he had a rich dad?

      I remember at some point there was a fireman and he was the one that told me all about the kid. When he told me the story I felt sorry for the kid somehow. Then the kid had an older brother who was just a nasty and petty and by the end of the dream the kid with autism had been faking it all along and his whole family was mean and petty.

      I remember H was with me for most of the dream.

      As I mentioned in the DFLN thread:

      Quote Originally Posted by DarkestDarkness
      To be honest waking up to this dream was a bit disappointing, I had a carrying-over feeling of being disillusioned in people as I became more awake but eventually overcame that through the day.


      10th August 2020

      Dream (DFLN thread):

      Recall only the end of the dream, but it was still a long sequence.

      I was a police character and I was going somewhere I'd already been to earlier in the dream. The dream was sort of cycling, or repeating, in some way? I'd come here before but as Homer Simpson with Bart. We'd been looking for Marge.

      In any case, as the policeman now, I went to this spot to pick someone up, who was already in handcuffs and escorting a woman. This place was in a very busy mall, there were loads of people.

      I picked up a police cap off the floor, I knew intuitively that it was mine somehow. I undid and then redid the prisoner's cuffs. Though I don't remember the prisoner character's actual looks, I picked up a wallet which resembled my wallet from waking life. In it, there was a photo of me, but I didn't realise that it was a photo of me. This was who the prisoner was, some "me". So I took him, by the cuffs and we walked down some stairs. Nobody was phased by me as a policeman taking this man in cuffs through the mall.

      The mall visually resembled one from my early childhood. This other "me" who I had in custody was being accused of rape, or something?

      At some point, I realised better I was holding my police cap in one hand, I hadn't put it back on yet. I remember H's voice at some point and I was talking back in normal dialogue, but H was not physically present. We were discussing typical police caps, and the fact that they have them on at all times, pretty much.

      Eventually, as I was walking, the prisoner was not a person anymore but instead a corpse in a body bag. I don't remember how this transition happened. But I remember as I realised this, the body inside the bag went floppy and heavy and I had to adjust my grip. I remember feeling the cuffs on a bony corpse through the bag and I just carried on carrying the body bag in a more dignified way than I had been initially. I woke up while I was still walking.
    7. cxlviii.

      by , 08-31-2020 at 01:49 AM
      8th August 2020 8:30

      Fragment (DFLN thread):

      Recall faded somewhat. Left too long before deciding to type.

      Was underwater, felt something like Conan:Exiles but overall it was a mixture of different things. (nice and specific as always... )

      A cutscene of an event? Something about having a wee, or reproducing? A giant blue or dark teal female-like character had phallic tentacles from their genital area and they wrapped them around me or my character and left some kind of "seed". (my visual recall of this seems to have faded, but I remember it was quite distinct)

      Then something similar happened again? But with a different creature. Then I remember being equally big and trying to protect some smaller spawn.

      A wave of zeds from KF appeared and I used my giant arms to simply swat them away as they swam closer?

      Some other part, going up in a lift in a rush after escaping while fighting. Remember using a shotgun in a first-person mode. As the lift made a stop, there was a character. A deer, or half-deer. Something about the hooves was important? I remember a divinely glow of some kind behind the character... But not sure now.

      Then, further along, inside a gigantic tree that had been planted earlier (when?) but could sort of see inside out or something when looking up, weird perspective stuff. A bit cinematic-y.

      Fragment:


      Drawing on tablet?



      8th August 2020 10:10

      Fragment:

      In the old kitchen at the old home. Something about mom making a deal, or promise? With me, or with dad, who was also in the room. There's some cooking going on, I was making something soupy, or sauce-like.

      In an earlier part of the dream, playing with H in some GTA or SR-like game. I remember using a very large tank that took up two lanes, and then eventually simply decided to spawn or summon a jet, like one from JC3, but I got a fighter by accident instead of a bomber like I meant to, but I just carried on and got in it. Went over some restricted zone and started shooting at generic henchmen. I remember a city and a lot of water. Maybe a bit futuristic.

      Fragment:

      Mixed/incomplete recall. My cousin T ate some little sweet thing. It did something to her behaviour and I think her sister was there too. Something about me babysitting or taking care of them? Weird dream place, vivid-ish colours.



      Notes:
      - For a while now me and H have been playing KF2 on and off together, the zeds were probably just a leak-through of that. But I haven't really played C:E in forever, but have thought about it.
      - Not sure what was the specific source for the giant characters. Need to make mental note to look through old sketches.
      - The deer character was an unusual appearance. I think it was partly precipitated by the interactions I've had with Occipitalred here on DV. Deer-type animals are not the type I give a lot of conscious attention, though I did paint a deer character some six weeks ago (at the time of writing this).
      - The "mistake" of summoning the wrong jet is of particular significance for me because in JC3 I got very used to flying the more sluggish bomber and really pushing it to its limits.

      Updated 09-01-2020 at 02:00 PM by 95293

      Categories
      side notes , non-lucid , dream fragment
    8. cxlvi. Phobia Therapy

      by , 08-30-2020 at 07:50 PM
      30th July 2020

      Dream: (DFLN thread) (self-memo: be sure to re-read Sageous comment and my own reply)

      Was at some therapist's office. Looked to be a typical rented office space. I went in and saw a doctor "Hodstatdr Lester" (note, this is my original spelling in the original entry), he insisted gently that I call him Lester.

      He was a well-built man, with a mostly round head (bald?) and with a deep voice. He wore glasses.

      We sat opposite each other on identical chairs. Lightly stained pine frames with blue textile cushions (deep blue?).

      He began by asking me what he could help me with and by saying remarking something about whether or not it would be worth our time, mutually.

      I talked for a little bit, I don't have a recall of the specifics but then I said I had two unresolved phobias. He seemed to nod compliantly and asked me to go on. I remember thinking about what I wanted to say, and then saying it, an unusual process for me during conversation.

      "Well, one of my phobias is what's on your shirt." I said
      "Pockets?" He said with a look of surprise.
      "No" I replied, making a motion with my index running along my sternum.
      "Ah, you mean buttons" He replied.

      I interrupted with "Yes" because I had(have) an aversion to even saying the word at times.

      "Well, you have a [unintelligible prefix]-phobia" He then stated.

      I also had in mind that I wanted to talk about another unresolved phobia. But oddly enough I couldn't remember what it was (and still can't).

      In any case, I said that this phobia name sounded familiar, and just as we were about to start discussing it, I woke up.

      Original notes:

      - While I felt like I could trust him, hesitantly, this feeling was mostly further compromised by the fact that the chairs were oriented in a way that made him be slightly my left and I to his right. This could have been corrected easily when I sat down, by simply turning the chair in a different angle.
      - In addition, the room was large. 6x6 mtrs or so at a guess. But apart from our chairs it was a completely empty office. The floor was carpeted?
      - Finally, there were two windows. One behind and left of the therapist (from my pov) and another one out of sight in the far right corner of the room. It was day time and so the two windows were the only light sources.

      Scraps:

      Mentalist dream, something about young children getting their fingers stamped with hot seals? This was part of some imagined thoughts at some point.

      Something about being in my old home's kitchen, the light was on. Absence of light and darkness from outside. Odd. Mom and T were in the kitchen? Something about cooking, and then a bat flew in and mom notified us, after I'd already spotted it. It was light brown in colour, caramel coloured even.

      One of the very first dreams? Was in a tank in some place near a warehouse and I was shooting civilians with tank shells, because they were being uncooperative somehow. I remember troops on foot scattering from a rear formation to take control of the civilians and the immediate area.
    9. cxlv.

      by , 08-24-2020 at 09:01 PM
      25th July 2020

      Fragment:

      In some Minecraft-like world with H. There was a dragon of some kind that kept coming back and harassing us. We were at some coastal area and there was a passive (did I mean peaceful?) moment during which there were loads of weapons to select from.

      26th July 2020 (DFLN thread)

      Fragment:

      Voxels, some volcanic area. Solid magma blocks and generally some dark blocks. There was a sci-fi base.

      Fragment:

      Dream where I was eating cheese, I think in the kitchen. Vague memory of getting it out and cutting it.

      Fragment:

      Micro-dream after having been awake for a bit and then dozing off. Was listening to the cathedral's bells and then I saw a scene about a couple. I remember there was a part where they were chasing after each other in a playful manner and then they were going into a bedroom. I seem to recall some negative thing to this too?

      27th July 2020
      (DFLN thread)

      Fragment:

      HD and her partner D, at the end of the dream in some world that looked like it was out of Spore. Lots of weird bug-like creatures. (Nice, very descriptive...)

      HD is talking from a distance by voice? She's a mix of hershelf and S, my sibling's partner. H is almost giving HD a headache somehow. The dream had started with Minecraft somehow and it was a very fractured world. People from O's server were also there, as was my middle sibling.

      Dream:

      Don't recall the start of the dream but I was in a restaurant place with mom. It was like a Chinese buffet place, but not quite. I was serving myself, mom had just finished doing so. I remember seeing her across the way, on the other side of the buffet area. I got some breaded chicken thing and then wanted a bun, but for some reason I reached across the other side for one, carefully so as to not dip myself into any food. But I could have just gone around and I sort of realised this. Then I remember going to the table where mom was sat.

      There was a vacant seat to her right and I sat there. For some reason I was shorter or completely slouched now, so I couldn't reach my food properly. To my right was an Asian lady (Korean?) and she started picking on me for some reason. I remember telling her she was being mean and even went so far as to say that she was the meanest lady I'd ever met, as she kept continuously harassing me. After struggling with the food for a while I somehow managed to sit upright and felt much taller than before. I also thought I would apologise for my own behaviour.

      I told the lady she couldn't possibly the meanest person ever. I said that she had been a bit mean but not that much. We sort of reconciled.

      (recall gap or separate dream? have a feeling the sequences were part of the same here)

      Somewhere else. Fragmented. I was in a cave that was connecting to a (currently) underground and high-tech moving fortress belonging to "my" faction. I was going outside to do some scouting of a target enemy base nearby. It was a tall Protoss-like spire or tower, in the midst of a low flat area surrounded by cliffs. Come to think of it, reminds me of Howling Fjord from WLK.

      I remember getting back in the fortress and reporting my findings. Someone was "digistructing" something, to seal the entrance better. The entry point was a round sliding door, mechanical and heavy. This fortress' style reminded me of Grineer style.

      Some very early part of this there was this very cheesily painted bomber, fully patterned with a stylised USA flag pattern; it dropped some hooks for me and a squad to grab onto and pull us up, as it dropped a nuke at the same time. I think it eventually took us near the fortress.



      Must remember to tag this later.
    10. cxliv.

      by , 08-24-2020 at 02:26 AM
      23rd July 2020

      Dream:

      In a house like in Terraria, with a similar viewing angle/style just with more realistic detailing. But the dream itself started out more like reality and I got in this house bit. I was on a cliff ledge or something, there was a sandstone building and it was kind of dark, I believe there was a sort of cliff overhang above. It was daytime but there was no direct sunlight here, just bounced light. I was there to kick some people out?

      There was a bit of bedlam inside the house when I first got in. Some of my family was there and there was a lot of old and dark stain furniture. Eventually I left the house while it was in the Terraria view mode and things became 3D again and more like BL.

      Remember some bit about fighting a special UFO boss. (DFLN thread) Travelled really far at high speed while fighting it. Come to think of it, reminds me of some old Sega Megadrive games... I defeated this boss and it crashed in a body of water and the high-speed chase thing was over. Then I wanted to get inside the machine via a hatch and I remember jumping in the water or something but the hatch was like a massive AAA battery port too and I had to disconnect and remove the terminals and parts of the casing? I remember initially thinking about needing air, but then realising or thinking that it didn't matter or something.

      I seem to remember there was a lot more to this dream, but the detail is all gone.
    11. cxxxiv.

      by , 08-10-2020 at 01:02 PM
      21st June 2020

      Fragment:

      My phone needed charging and I was at home with H. I went to get a charger for my phone and plugged it in; there was arcing/sparking and a flash.

      I opened the back of the phone and took the cable off it and saw that the battery had bulged slightly in one place. And the cable specs said it provided 2.9v rather than what it supposedly needed, 5v.

      Fragment:

      Some bit around my home town. I'm in the car, with mom and dad. Mom complains about being nearly 11:30 even though the dash says 10:30. Mom was complaining because we had to be there (at the destination?) and my siblings weren't ready or in the car with us yet.

      Dad took us to some cafe, or restaurant? Near where the pools in my old home town are.

      Fragment:

      In the kitchen at our current home. I was going to take codeine, but it had been prescribed for something other than pain, like allergies?



      Notes:
      - The part in the car with mom and dad is a typical scenario that might happen when we all still lived together, when I was a kid/teen.
      - At the time I'm making these notes (10th of August), I am on medication that means that I can't take codeine too; this would probably be a good cue for RCing since I know it would be dangerous to actually take the codeine currently.
    12. cxxxiii.

      by , 08-07-2020 at 08:40 PM
      14th June 2020

      Dream Fragment:

      In some altered version of our house, with H. I remember a greenhouse of sorts around back, it was dark.

      Transition? Another scene, still same area. Me and H walking around and there's this Polish lady and in the dream she is a neighbour of ours. She has a kid or two, and a husband who is away at the moment.

      We hear her talk in her native language to her child, who is indoors. She's sitting on a dark grey fibreglass chair outside, our garden areas are apparently joined together. Her house isn't lined up straight with ours though, it's set further back, so the door leading inside her house from the "back" is technically on the side of her house, not the front or back.

      I remember we spoke to her, she wanted something, like something done for her or fixed for her perhaps.



      Notes:
      - In the dream I remember that my knowledge about her family was simply intuitive, as if we'd known the family casually for years.
      - While I don't really remember the lady's appearance or her children's appearance, I have the feeling she had black, tied-back hair. This fits some character archetype my dream mind keeps constructing from time to time.

      - I am recalling, having written the above note, that I had a short-term friend (Ca) when I was a kid, who sort of matched this description; she was particularly tall despite being about the same age but she did get some abuse from other kids for that, since kids always find ways of being mean. I remember for a few years I'd always been a bit sad we didn't stay in touch or remain friends since we didn't stay in touch, but to be honest at some point I just don't even remember seeing her anymore, despite the fact that my home town was fairly condensed and most people knew each other in some vague way at the very least. During my childhood she was one of few girls with whom I got along with quite well.

      - I think my dream mind likes to feature different families with children of their own as a window into what that life might be like.
      - The backyard, oddly enough, was actually grassy, unlike the concrete backyard we do have at our current home.
    13. cxxxi. Lucidity! And self-indulgence

      by , 08-04-2020 at 01:07 PM
      4th August 2020 ~11:30

      Dream:

      Near the end of a stupidly long non-lucid part; I was falling through a pipe, I was with a squad to take something out in a facility. But then as I was falling, everything seemed still.

      I was in a void of sorts and time seemed to pass slower, the others were still here with me. It felt like being in water, and there was a similar visual effect. The squad leader, turned to me and said "you must pick the right one this time!" and I suddenly saw a vision of who to pick.

      Then I was in a room. There were three guardians and some other characters. I picked the one from my vision. It was true that it was the start of a cycle that I was now breaking, at the start of this long non-lucid part I was in a very similar situation.

      But this time I had picked "correctly". As a result, my consciousness shifted, I was now the guardian I'd picked. I noticed my hands, I had three fingers and one thumb. I became lucid but it came slowly, not like in the past.

      There was no "aha!" moment or sudden shift. I realised I was in a version of my mom's first office room. The characters were gone, I think; and to confirm my lucidity further I grabbed a metal shelving unit in the room and threw it through a wall, fully expecting it to go through as if it were a ghost, and it did!

      I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, since I hadn't fully expect to be lucid. I decided to indulge in one of my fantasies and decided to become a giant anthropomorphic lizard. It sort of worked... I saw myself in third person, wearing a labcoat (my artificial dream sign) as an anthro lizard. But I wanted to be myself in first person, I get tired of seeing things in third person in dreams and so I willed it and then was myself as the lizard. I looked down and saw the city-sprawl below me. I had reptilian-like feet with claws and I could see I had an emerald green skin but it was not as dark as I wanted. I tried to give myself different sexual features but it didn't work either.

      I was happy enough the transformation worked in the basic sense in any case and started to have some fun by putting myself against the ground and sort of rubbing along it for lack of better words. I paused and checked my hands again, just having a good look at them. They were hardly as scaly as I'd expected and this felt disappointing but I carried on. I remember noticing the atmosphere effect but oddly enough when I was standing I didn't notice the curvature effect of the planet. I was big enough that I should have been able to notice it.

      While the terrain did get sort of crunched/destroyed/etc by whatever I did, I wasn't able to see the cities in any great amount of detail and could not notice any mountains either. I was too big I suppose. I could feel my tail at several points but overall the feel of my body was mostly whole/complete.

      Spoiler for Self-indulged arousal:


      After this self-indulging, I realised the city/landscape I'd been having fun on and with was really just a square section in a rather large room. At the edges, the atmosphere effect sort of cut off, it was interesting.

      I was standing up and looked around the room for the first time; lots of metal pipes and dark metal things, like grates and slits where some natural light came through from. It had an extremely industrial look. As I looked around I still felt that I was very big, but the room's scale made me feel smaller in a sense, despite how much room I took.


      My lucidity was fading a little and I'd become a bit bored, I didn't expect to end my fantasy so soon but this was obviously the result of not pre-planning any of this. I saw a character less than half my size, by a sewer-tunnel looking bit. I approached, I asked him "Who are you?", quite curious about this metal-flesh sort of monster, the look only describable as being drawn from many such archetypes.

      He gave me a reply veiled in mystery, that I cannot recall anymore, but he did not answer my question in its most basic form and I didn't think of asking again. I got bored of him and decided he was quoting from something, but I forget what he was saying, unfortunately.

      I looked around again. This felt so different from my previous lucid experiences. I was calm, and it didn't take much effort to be calm; the dream was far less vivid and detailed than other lucids and indeed even less than some non-lucids, but I appreciated this moment. I enjoyed not feeling my daily pain.

      Then, out of nowhere, I heard a deep echoing voice. It told me "You must kill your brother, remember?". Some less conscious part of me, replied automatically "I know, I know! But not now." Before I could add anything of my own will, the voice spoke again to the effect of "Very well, he shall be kept alive for now." The voice faded completely and I simply finished by again automatically saying "Good."

      I didn't appreciate this family-related intrusion into my lucidity but realised it was from a deeper part and so didn't really wish to alter it.

      My lucidity may have been fading again but I decided to simply explore these strange halls, carelessly stepping over that square world I'd been playing with earlier and heading for a doorway on the opposite corner from where I was. There were many artificial warm light accents around the metal halls. I eventually found myself on a gantry bit and there were random people both there and on a lower tier. I played around with some telekinesis on some red and blue barrels, trying to lob them but doing so poorly at first. I started to gain a more intuitive understanding as I did it but it did not feel as "mentally driven" as I'd expected, having to move my hands a fair bit.

      My form had been consistent through my lucidity, I still had reptilian traits and my hands were clawed now, I recall. A random human character next to me looked up to me and said "Don't throw them with your arms like a real barrel." Or something like that. I understood from this to use hand motions more. I tried lifting a barrel and pulling it toward me, having done so too much and then pushing it forward a little more with some related hand motions.

      I tried to hit a person in the lower tier with the barrel but it didn't quite work or something. Then I went down some stairs. I was in a mall area and my lucidity was fading but not gone. A dream character was upset with me, he was some manager for the mall. "You're ruining everything with your lucidity!" He said, or something.

      He was extremely upset that I was doing whatever I pleased. There was a woman nearby I'd somehow gotten fired or something (but she was all the more happy about it) and the man became angry and he wanted to have a serious go at me now.
      But I somehow just turned it against him, kind of willing some help from the woman and she automatically started defending me, distracting the manager man. I was no longer lucid at this point and had been letting myself go along with the dream too much. Eventually I just woke up.



      Edit:

      Spoiler for Notes (in spoiler due to their length):

      Updated 08-04-2020 at 05:12 PM by 95293

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid , memorable , side notes
    14. July 24, 2020 Non-lucid

      by , 07-25-2020 at 06:26 AM (Deep Inside The Lucid Dreamer's Subconscious)
      I was on JMU's campus in one of the parking decks, I got into my car and it went uncontrollably backwards and off the side of the second floor deck into a parking lot. A cop pulled up and thought I was drunk driving so he tests me, I'm over by .02, I freak out and beg him to test me again, he laughs and tests me again and I pass, we both cheer, I'm trying to high five him but I'm falling backwards and to the side but I manage to high five him.

      I'm in the stadium now and there's a graduation or ceremony going on, I look behind me to see B, we make quick eye contact before turning away. My family is there too. At some point I think I'm on spongebob's 4d ride from King's Dominion but it has been massively gutted and it looks really broken down now. I'm in mario kart 64 on Mario's track at some point racing around. Then, I'm at some sort of market and it's night time, we're about to drive back home from JMU so I grab a few snacks and souvenirs from shops.
    15. cxx.

      by , 07-21-2020 at 01:04 PM
      More catching up...



      12th May

      Dream:


      Dream recall faded somewhat. In the first dream I remember being at a house with H and someone else, a girl our age, but not sure who she was. We were all very hungry, and it was about noon. Someone suggested ordering pizza, but I didn't want to for some reason, so instead I got on the phone and ordered a man made of food or something, like synthetic food. He was supposed to get there by two in the afternoon. I figured when he arrived, I'd "butcher" him for the synthetic meat he was made of, wondering which bits H would be picky about, but as time went by, it seemed like he wasn't going to turn up at all, which made me regret not ordering the pizza in the first place.

      Then I remember going through some sort of tunnels or halls, in an old style (20-60s) building. No natural lighting, just incandescent lights. Gave me the impression of night time. I was still hungry, but I came to a room where there was something written over its double doors (I forget what) that suggested I could eat there. I went in and there was a bar-like counter and I talked to a woman in her 40s and asked her about eating or something. I told her I realised it was late but I really needed something and she was kind and tried to figure something out. At some point my parents showed up and start commenting on the food-making. I forget what else happened.

      Dream fragment:


      A different dream or perhaps after a different segment I've forgotten. Only small bits, many of which just ordinary. But in the end of this dream I was walking around a downtown area with my dad, H and someone else I think. There was a man announcing that free testing for a certain genetic or auto-immune disease or something would be available. I muttered to myself about it not being available to me freely in the past and then the man approached me, unconcerned by my complaints but addressing them; he began to inspect my nose with his hands and as he did he said "normally we wouldn't check people who have infections on their nose because this excludes them" or something to this effect. His attitude and face while going over my nose and talking to me suggested (some medical) curiosity. Just as he was about to move on to inspect some other part of my face or body, the doorbell in reality rang and I woke up, having to answer the door.



      Notes:
      - Of these two dreams, as I am re-reading them, I actually remember the second fragment better than I do the first dream. There was an underground parking lot or something around the middle or beginning of that dream, which was where me, my dad, H and the other person had come from, out onto the downtown street area.
      - I remember in the first dream I had visualised or seen a picture of what the synthetic man was to look like. For some reason I have the memory of wooden flooring in the first house of that dream.
      - The part in the second dream where I was muttering to myself is probably a crossed over feeling of frustration at the lack of help I receive for my condition from official systems. The follow-up interaction with the man is probably representative of some of my hope that with chance and timing I might actually get someone to genuinely be interested in giving me the help I need, rather than the help that gets pushed onto me.
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