• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. cv.

      by , 03-25-2020 at 12:17 PM
      Some non-lucid stuff that I can remember from this morning. Only made note of the first dream in my initial morning notes.




      Dream:


      I was with dad, I think at a mall. It was like the one close to home but it was different somehow, though I had the same sense of familiarity. We were walking through the large and bright halls and as we turned around a corner we stopped, because I spotted this shop that sold ice cream and other stuff, like some pastries typical of my country and cotton candy. I wanted some of these deep fried things they had, even though I didn't feel all that hungry. I think it was just because it's been so long I had any. Not sure what dad wanted, but ice cream I think.

      We approached the counter and two other people were being served. There were two guys behind the counter too, so I thought one of them was available and I pointed at something and asked about it. Before there was any reply, dad said "let the other people get served first" but for some reason, in the dream's context I had the ability to snap my fingers to toggle how busy the dream location was. Doing this had a completely intuitive feel. I did snap my right hand's fingers and the people being served simply disappeared, as did many other people walking by around us.

      Now I asked about the food thing again. He explained they were long deep fried "waffles". Some were flavoured banana, strawberry or vanilla, with the possibility of a crusty looking chocolate topping, although I think it was more like icing.

      I asked for one of the vanilla waffle things. While I was being handed my waffle and then tasting it, I think dad was getting something for himself. The taste was somewhat overly sweet, and bland at the same time (dream characteristic which didn't phase me), but it didn't taste of vanilla very much at all. My problem with the taste however, was the texture, as I was expecting something nice and crunchy, but it was completely soft. I felt disappointed and the few bites I took made me feel full really quickly anyway. I don't remember what I did with it and I don't remember either of us paying.

      Then we continued walking through the mall, but into a different section which wasn't as open or light. In fact it felt pretty dark despite there being lights on. We walked into a supermarket inside the mall and I remember wandering around looking for something, but I don't remember what anymore. Eventually, empty-handed I went to the checkout area. I'm not sure it was dad that was with me anymore at this point.

      But at the checkout there was a couple, they were buying a desktop computer oddly enough and they wanted help from an attendant because the computer "weighs 24kg and we can't carry it", I thought to myself that despite my weakness, this couple was just being pathetic or lazy. I did think about the effort of carrying it all the way to their car in the parking sub-levels, but I also thought it wasn't really fair to ask the attendant to do that.

      Then the man from the couple started being weird, handling the computer case with relative ease he swung it around and it hit the checkout counter, on which I was sat. For some reason I was just sat there and observing. As he did hit the counter with the case, the attendant didn't even flinch like she hadn't noticed. He did it again a few times, harder this time. Now the case was visibly damaged and warped. At first the damage seemed passable, but for whatever reason I was able to look inside; I quickly told them that the circuit boards were cracked because of the metal plates pushing in and that it was no good now. The man started being upset and demanding compensation or something. Again I didn't think this was fair and either I said or thought "you break it, you buy it". The attendant seemed to be handling it though, but it made me feel no respect for this man.

      There was a transition then. I don't remember where I was now, but I had some kind of interface. I could select worlds or something?

      Then I remember a cutscene of some kind, it was in space. I could see several planets in a star system, and before it happened I knew the star was about to explode, and it did, in a green supernova, the planets burning away in a green flame of sorts. Strangely enough in the dream it was like I already knew about this cutscene (but it's the first time I've seen/dreamt it) so I was using some camera control tools or something to see the scene from different angles than it would normally play through.

      I don't remember much else from this dream other than some vague memories of night sky and stars.

      Dream Fragment:


      At my old home, in my old room. I think what brought this dream on was some thoughts I had before bed about how my old room's balcony has never felt safe, and how I always fear mom may slip some day, or that I may somehow feel compelled to jump out of it (in madness or some other irrational state).

      It was a sort of night time, a twilight of some kind. I walked into the room a bit further and saw my sibling T in the balcony. He had a top on but was otherwise naked, this was odd and bothered me on some level but I ignored it and we talked about something. From the balcony, below, I could see my other sibling was arriving with S in a white smart car. Then the doorbell rang and I walked out of the room and went to answer it, I already knew it was going to be L and S but I still picked up the intercomm set and asked who it was. I felt like I was being like dad for doing this (even though I don't remember dad ever doing this type of thing). L replied at first and I asked "who?" because I couldn't understand, then S spoke and her voice made it clear who they were and I pressed the button to open the building door.

      Dream Fragment:

      Driving, or being driven? With H. Not sure what car, but the landscape and town was a mix of my native home areas and some other places. I enjoyed the view of the nearby mountains in the dream. I remember we went over a bridge or two and there were two towns next to each other. It was day time, but sort of dark despite everything looking bright? Like I was seeing everything through heavily tinted glass, but I don't think the car's glass was tinted at all.



      Notes:
      - Last night as I had the thoughts about my old room and the balcony, I did think that it might cause me to have a dream about it. It's a shame I didn't take the opportunity to think about becoming lucid should it happen, as there were plenty of cues in that dream that could have resulted in some state of lucidity, but didn't. Keeping intention of noticing dream signs seems particularly poor for me, but I really think my sleep quality doesn't help.
      - The thing with the dream-controlling finger snapping is typical of something my dad does in his non-lucid dreams too, so either that knowledge has created some kind of bias on me, or it's a trait that can be developed because of our personalities, or perhaps simply hereditary somehow. A point of note about it is that I play games a lot where "control" comes easily, so it may simply be a reflection of how there's a lot of self-agency in that type of context.
      - The pastry type thing I wanted from the shop was more like a churro or something, but the thing I was given didn't really look like one. I actually remember they had some churro looking things locked up in a clear plastic chest that was hung on a wall on the customer side of the counter. I remember feeling like asking about it but like it would be too much bother to get one.
    2. An Unexpected Late Night Visit

      by , 03-17-2020 at 10:07 AM
      Morning of March 17, 2020. Tuesday.

      Dream #: 19,447-02. Reading time (optimized): 3 min.



      Dream sequence 1 is predictable sleep-wake mediation of emerging liminality stemming from my instinctual recognition that dream state physicality is not real. An imaginary fence defines my skewed perception of potential liminality as a virtual barrier between sleep and consciousness.

      In this instance of the usual process, my dream incorrectly establishes that it is Halloween (an incidental association with the false identity of the dream state). Another error (to stop waking-life agreement) is that the fence on the west side of our house is not a solid wall. The events occur late at night.

      At this point, precursory liminality allows for my recall of Zsuzsanna (though the recall we have children initiates later in my dream). Additionally, as a result of the dynamics of this process, I have a viable recall of where I live in waking life (rather than the usual false setting). I am setting up a scarecrow, using some of my clothes, as a Halloween decoration. It is on the inside of our fence near the northwest corner. It is my instinctual analogy of validating my dream state physicality as false but still as a precursor to potential physical discernment. (A scarecrow has occurred as this signification in previous dreams, though statues and dolls are more common.)

      Dream sequence 2 is further activation of the foundational process as previously described and explained. It stems from physicality becoming a more emergent factor but also inclusive of disguised recall that I have a young daughter. As a result, an unfamiliar black girl (of about seven years of age) stands to the left of the outside of our front gate (from our porchís viewpoint) where the mailbox is in reality (though it is not present in my dream). (Being near the mailbox location, despite its erroneous absence, is a factor of sleep-wake communication or, assuming enigmatic space is overlapping into my dream space, transpersonal communication, probably from our daughter.) She aggressively shakes the vertical bars of the fence, making an incredible racket. I tell her to stop, but she continues.

      ďIím going to get my gun,Ē I say through our open front door, though I am not serious. I want the unknown child to go away even though her presence is the result of deliberate summoning to vivify my dream, which it does, exponentially. (A gun is typically the result of the fictitious dream self attempting to maintain an illusion in contrast to the reticular activating system initiating, which is otherwise the natural progression of sleep-wake transitioning.) The child does not leave. I turn left to ask Zsuzsanna where the gun is. (Zsuzsanna sleeps on my left.) I have the false recall that I own a gun and that it might be on the DVD player (association with imagination, correlating with watching movies). The girl eventually leaves but comes back with her father.

      Dream sequence 3 establishes that emerging liminality changes the direction of my dream. The girl and her father are in our lounge room. At first, I see it as an intrusion. My dreaming status resets and loops with different events five times. In the third loop, there are about five members of the girlís family entering our home, including her mother and an older sister. I am puzzled and ask them how they are doing this. One of them points at the outside of our front door, and I see that there is a silver key in the doorís barrel lock. Still, at this point, my dream has reset again, and the family is only now arriving on our porch.

      Suddenly, I recall that I have a young daughter (which eventually unlocks recall I have additional children). I think she might like to meet the unknown girl. I no longer see the people as intruders even though I did not ask them in. I look around, but I cannot find her. I ask family members where she is.

      Dream sequence 4 is the fourth form of liminality mediation when the unnamed man sits down on our couch to watch television. I notice that, as he is sitting down, a much older man than him on the television screen is sitting down, mirroring his actions, though he has a white beard while the man in our lounge room has no beard. I find this amusing, but I do not comment on it.



      The man on television, with his short white beard, correlates with my waking-life identity, triggering my waking.



      Overall, this is the same preconscious template as in thousands of previous dreams.


    3. xcix.

      by , 03-14-2020 at 02:57 AM
      Dream fragment from the 13th.


      Fragment:

      I was in some altered version of my old home, in particular it seemed to be centred around my first bedroom in the house but the layout of everything was completely different, and the halls and ceilings were much bigger. Perhaps a reflection of the different perspective from when I was very young (4-6?), but in the dream I was just the age I am now. I think I remember daylight coming from outside. In many senses the physical context of the dream was very reminiscent of my earliest conscious memory of waking life.

      There were a lot of family characters present, mostly aunts from dad's side and my direct family in itself.

      I don't remember many of the details anymore but one of the main dream plots was that there was this mouse which was no bigger than my closed fist, minus the tail. For whatever reason, I wanted to build it a nest near the top of one of the walls in "my room". I remember getting some wicker type material to make the nest with, or maybe like hay. But it had a paper-like texture, at any rate. I wanted the nest to be atop a pipe or pole that would be attached to the wall (visually reminded me of a wastepipe) so that the mouse could run up and down to and from the nest. The mouse had typical light brown fur.


    4. xcvi.

      by , 03-08-2020 at 11:41 AM
      Dreams taken from phone memos from today and yesterday. Will try to arrange chronologically and make notes for each day separately.


      7th:

      Dream Fragment:

      There's a high school context to the dream. Vi from my class back then, he was walking around with me, near my old home. We were headed towards the main square or the subway?

      In reality we'd never spoken a lot, but in the dream we were talking non-stop for some reason. I was telling him about a god of war? And about a dark goddess.

      Not sure where this fits into the dream but I remember some other part, relating to this goddess. There are strange cliffs, rock looks sedimentary; and there are scattered graves but I don't remember what they look like anymore. I spoke to the dark goddess I think.

      Other stuff happens in between and all I have left is a fragment from the end of the dream. I was gigantic and a ten story building was only about ankle height for me. I was running somewhere, taking long strides over cities and hills. I avoided excessively mountainous areas. It was quite sunny and clear.

      Some areas were under mass floods, because of the dark goddess? Something about her being angry. There were craters or abysses which the water spiralled into.

      Notes:

      - The irony of the last part of this dream is that this is one of my current lucid challenges.
      - I don't remember what I was wearing, or if I was wearing anything at all in the last part of the dream, but in the early parts of the dream I was wearing my old cream hoodie, except it had a front pocket thing, which it actually doesn't.
      - I don't remember actually seeing this goddess in the dream, but I have an archetype appearance in mind visually, where she appears sort of half-naked and has somewhat messy but long black hair. Has red iris eyes.


      8th:

      All sort of a continuous dream, but transitions and details are highly fragmented:

      Inside some structural complex. My family is here, primarily siblings and parents. I remember L talking and showing me a few things around the place. I think this place was like a house L and S were building?

      There's certainly lots of concrete to the structure, and some sort of carpeting thing going on. I remember a diffused sunlight from directly above. At this point I was in a concrete tunnel overhang with huge glass panes to the side. I could feel that the sunlight was coming from a diffusing rectangular skylight much higher up.

      Then after seeing into a few different rooms and going a bit dark, there was a transition of some kind.

      I was just outside the building I used to live in. It's daytime but not sure what the sky is like. Colours are semi-vivid. H is here in some form and I feel like I'm a small girl or something. I play around the cobbled area and then there's something about money. I was making 100 an hour by just moving some small 1kg bags of flour? But because there was limited demand, then I wasn't needed anymore, which made me disappointed.

      Transition or cut.

      Short sequence where me and H were about to play some board game. Not sure where we are, but indoors. Then all of a sudden, MB appears. I feel really apprehensive and tense, but oddly enough H is fine with his presence. I remember what I told mom some days ago in waking life, that we don't let MB hang out anymore, and yet here he is.

      We play a test round of the board game and then I start putting it all away, in the hope he'll get the hint and go away. I am confused as to why H hasn't told him to go either. I feel on edge and like I could become aggressive.

      Transition.

      Some weird sort of library. Reality physics mixed with game-type physics. There's a very short farclip plane. H is here and talks to me about something. I remember a purple and orange haze and some bookshelves. I walk around somewhat disorientated. I remember going into a room that I could see clearly and there were rolled up bits of paper, or scrolls?

      Transition again.

      I was on the computer, looking at a reddit link from some support group forum for people with my illness. The reddit link had an embedded youtube video that had some furry characters on the preview.

      The first line I remember either from reddit or the video description was "The inner drunkard voice of the characters we draw ghandara macrophylla". This doesn't fully make sense even in the dream and somehow I also feel the video will likely have someone with a really annoying voice, so I don't think I played it anyway. Passing thoughts about drawing.

      Notes:

      - I had to look up "ghandara", and the closest word I could find is "gandara", which means wetland(s) in Galician. Though it's a fairly familiar language, I didn't know this word specifically. "macrophylla" I know from plants, meaning large leaves or so. So that would make it "large leafed wetland" or something in a more literal sense, but it still doesn't link directly to the rest of the description text. I think in the dream the "macrophylla" was just a misspelling of "macrophilia" but it still doesn't explain the other random word.
      - Perhaps the oddest thing about the video link was that I have neither used reddit nor any online support group for my illness in a long time. The rest of the fragment's context seems to relate more to the fact that I haven't been drawing lately, mostly because of how I've been feeling, but also to the natural feelings of jealousy that seem to crop up in me sometimes when the art of others is on show.
      - In the weird haze library area, the purple and orange may have been a bit symbolic, as I associate purple to myself and orange to H, who was also there.
      - When MB was playing this board game with us, he was being as irritating as ever, all the more reason I wanted him gone.
      - Although I remember S was in the first part of the dream, I don't remember hearing her speak, which seems unlikely. That first part felt like the longest and the second part felt like the shortest.
    5. The Cipher Tower

      by , 02-15-2020 at 12:24 AM (The Fourth Factor)
      I seem to be visiting my parents, who live on an island. Iím busy for most of the day cleaning out a cabinet or wardrobe. In only another hour or so, there are going to be guests over for dinner.

      Weíre out of the house now for some reason. Mother is concerned that Iíve been exerting myself so much, and I should drink some water. Iím not particularly thirsty but say I will. My father and I go off to a sort of convenience store-like shop nearby to buy a bottle, but the water is very expensive Ė almost 10 dollars for a water bottle (though I canít swear it wasn't some other currency). Thatís right, I remember Ė there isnít any fresh water on the island, so it all has to be shipped here, and that makes it so expensive. My father asks if itís OK if I donít get the water, and I say Iím fine with it. Again, I donít particularly care either way Ė I just want to keep them happy.

      Not long after that, I step onto what unexpectedly turns out to be an elevator Ė a floating glass elevator, ŗ la Willy Wonka. It rises up and flies partway across the island to a large building, then down several stories into its basement. I briefly see the various underground floors on the way down. I consider getting off and heading back Ė I donít want to be late for dinner Ė but rumor has it that the headquarters of the secret police is on one of those floors, and I have a history with them. Just walking through their headquarters would be asking for trouble.

      So I wait as some other people get on the elevator and it continues to the third major hub on the island Ė it isnít very large, and so there are only the three. This one is on the other end, farther away Ė a place Iíve never been before. The elevator flies over lawns dotted with groves of trees. Itís dusk now, and we approach and pass a blue light Ė some sort of decorative sculpture marking the approach. This whole area is like an estate, or a place that was one at some previous time.

      Once weíre there, I get off. Thereís a tower there Ė perhaps I have to climb down the side to get to the ground, but one way or another, I wind up climbing on it. Itís a fairly small building, though tall, made of square, grey stones, each of which has a shape cut through it large enough to make a foothold or handhold Ė circles, squares, stars, etc. Each stone is also marked with two sets of letters, one a capital letter, the others one or more lowercase ones. As I grab hold of one hollow stone, I feel a switch flip on the inside edge, causing the opening to light up. The whole thing is a giant cipher key, I realize. I donít have any messages in need of decoding Ė but if I happen to find any, I now know exactly where to bring them.

      I climb around for a bit, playing around with it to make sure I know how it works. But once Iím back on the ground, a woman starts yelling at me for climbing on the tower. Guess I wasnít supposed to be doing that. I stay calm. What sheís saying doesnít make much sense Ė really not a coherent accusation against me at all, just anger. I ask a couple reasonable questions. She answers, still in an angry tone. But then, having lost her momentum, the absurdity of it seems to dawn on her, and she starts laughing. I laugh, too. It seems like everything is OK now.

      12.2.20
      Categories
      non-lucid
    6. lxxxiii.

      by , 02-12-2020 at 11:40 PM
      Dreams that I made note of early today but that I'm only writing on the DJ here at night.



      Dream Fragment:


      Much longer than just this bit and a lot of detail is missing. Was with my family at some building, more specifically, with my parents and maybe siblings. We were there because of me, I was waiting to be given permission to use this facility's reactor-powered super-computer.

      One of mom's sisters (M) was there . H was there but was a blend between himself and my oldest sibling. I remember we were waiting in some sort of lobby. It was sunny, there was a lot of glass. It was a fairly modern-style building from what I can remember. Eventually, a woman came through into the room and requested my presence. I followed her and walked through some halls and then through a large indoors space, like an aircraft hangar or an industrial warehouse. When we were in one of these larger spaces, the woman, who I remember was formally dressed (i.e. had some sort of secretarial position), said that they were going to give me the OK to use their computer.

      Apparently I wanted to use this computer to "hack" some other reactor-powered super-computer of the same sort. In the dream I already knew I had permission from the owners of that second computer to do this. My reaction to when she gave me the OK was something of surprise and I felt happy. I told her I'd be right back and jogged back to the lobby quickly to grab a few things. Mostly some papers, A4 prints of the schematics for the other reactor? Looked like amplifier schematics like the ones I often see H use.

      In the dream I knew that some favour I pulled was responsible for the people who owned this place to allow me to do this, though there seemed to be no animosity with anyone and there was a calm and polite atmosphere.

      I remember there was a lot of dialogue in this dream but I remember very little of it in detail, usually one of the first things to get forgotten. I went back to the woman after grabbing the papers. I remember being shown into a room where I then used some sort of computer terminal and then gained physical access to the other computer's library. But it was literally and physically manifested in front of me, above the terminal.

      I looked through the books. I remember chatting to this lady since she was there to supervise me, mostly small talk. I couldn't remember which of these files (the books) that H was interested in, so for whatever reason I asked for someone to go and fetch my oldest sibling (L). L arrived and immediately recognised the book. L took it and I wondered how we'd return it, since I realised in that moment this was a one-time thing but we were still obliged to return the file.

      Then I said to L: "make sure you get everything you want, because we will never have access to this again." I remember thinking or feeling that the other books on that shelf were filled with irreplaceable knowledge.

      The dream went on for a bit but I don't remember much. Some visions of the reactors? I told the lady about how I got permission to do all of this.

      Dream Fragment:

      A different dream. In space, much shorter dream. Strategy game like Homeworld but could manage planets and space stations too. Mix of Freelancer too? Don't remember the visuals anymore. Woke up after this dream.

      Dream Fragment:

      Fell back asleep and recalled this single fragment. Was helping T build some sort of organ console. The console didn't look right. It was askew? But it was on purpose apparently. The manuals were angled at 90 degrees and sloped on a 30 degree arc. I remember this took place in T's room. There was a light on and the room was dark otherwise, somewhat as expected really.

      Mom was there, talking to T I think.


      Some notes:
      - I did remember more conversational detail when I woke up and wrote down the first dream on my phone but the memory has since long left as I finish writing this DJ entry.
      - The thing with the shelf and the books being the other computer's file system was very unusual. It was like an allegory, but somewhat unnecessary.
      - For whatever reason, these few dreams I had all had H, T and L mixed in some sense as if they were all the same character. Although I can draw some similarities between them, like the bookshelf thing, I'm not sure why it was almost made obvious in the dream. Normally my less conscious thoughts don't manifest themselves in dreams in such an obvious way, probably since I already recognise all these elements consciously anyway.
      - The secretary figure is starting to become a recurring dream character in a sense. Feels like a sort of formal projection, as a character, of what I would consider my anima to be. Last year there were some similar appearances. Usually black hair, tidy, possibly glasses and a smooth but not perfect face. A slight bit of attitude or something in body posture, but in a relaxed way. Takes herself seriously.
      - A note on the above; I have taken the Jungian archetypes into a sort of personally meaningful way as I do with symbols in general, so that they have specific meanings to myself, which are often a bit more distant from their original meanings. This accounts for why the appearance of these archetypes varies, sometimes dramatically. But the key identifier for them is usually that they are key characters in the dream and that they are not related to people I know, and seem to be more disjointed from the other characters in a dream, usually.
      - T's room was more or less as I remember last seeing it. The sense of any unpleasant smell didn't seem to be there, but I remember feeling uncomfortable being in the room.
    7. lxxvi.

      by , 02-03-2020 at 12:03 PM
      We had a bit of a tidy yesterday and I had somewhat strange sleep because of a supplement I took that I even forgot I had around; but I'd also forgotten why I'd stopped taking it. I had extremely vivid dreams but unable to really stay asleep. The first two fragments were from some of the awakenings and were actually really quite long and detailed dreams, just as the third, but I didn't memorise enough of them since I didn't write them down when I had them.


      Dream Fragment:

      Was in my old home area. For some reason I managed to get a job as a secretary for some important person (politician/businessman?) and I was being interviewed by a woman with tied up hair and glasses; very similar to the secretary in the original Deus Ex game, come to think of it.

      For whatever reason I was using an alias, a French name going just by "SŪs", even though I was uncertain myself how I should pronounce it. I remember being asked about speaking French, and I said (roughly) in French that I could speak the language poorly.

      I remember the room I was in was office-like but sort of well decorated as I'd expect for my native region.

      Dream Fragment:

      I wasn't a character myself in this dream. It was more like watching something. It was in China or a place like it and I was seeing inside an office at a business skyscraper. Two men were discussing (in English) about how a brand new government law was going to make everyone's life hell, basically. They could see it being announced on a TV at their workplace. Everyone was becoming afraid of speaking to anyone else but most people were uncomfortably relaxed in a sense, seemingly they felt safe in this place anyway.

      I remember one of these two men making a comment saying "I don't even want to take anyone in my car with me anymore."

      Then there were some scenes outside, scenes of traffic and of dead vegetation/landscapes. It was a gloomy day-time throughout this dream.

      Dream Fragment:

      I am somewhere underground, at some kind of mixed restaurant/convenience store place. I'm with my family, and I'm making small talk with the shop lady. She's interested in my phone and asks if I can get her some extra ones of the same model. I say sure, but then question if it's worth it. I tell her that if I get them at a "brand new price" there's nothing in it for either of us. Before she can give me a reasonable idea of what the agreement would be, my phone "rings" (vibrates, more like, I think).

      It's an old friend, someone I haven't spoken to in over two years in waking reality. Da is calling me and I try to answer but somehow I tap something that says "delete contact" right under "accept call"!

      Feeling frustrated by the fact I just made such a mistake I try to get the number back somehow from the log and then try calling back. He answers and I try to speak but he can't hear me.

      I walk outside from this shop, still underground and take a left and then a right and go up some stairs. I'm outside now. I don't remember what it looked like exactly, but get the feeling of "arid".

      I speak again, and Da hears me now. I ask, "Hey, how are you? It's been a really long time." He says "I'm ok, I guess." He makes some sort of ironic and witty but also serious remark about how I hadn't been in contact. I try to explain that I did try communicating over the last two years, but that every time I did, I never heard anything back.

      We get into small talk and his behaviour over the phone seems more normal, less upset as it seemed like initially. I can hear he's playing something on a console. "Is that Tekken you're playing?" He doesn't answer immediately, concentrating and then says he'll be finished shortly and then we could do (whatever it was) that we were going to do. I quickly realise internally that it couldn't be a Tekken game. All the sounds are too sort of retro and synth-like.

      I remember pacing around outside while on the phone, something I do anywhere whilst on the phone. Everything feels vivid and somewhat real despite the fact that the place I'm at looks somewhat alien. The structure of this place on the outside is some sort of hard compacted sand and I'm on some kind of platform. There are metal beams or girders somewhere as part of the structure, but I forget the details now.

      It's kind of daytime, but there's a strange light. I don't remember anything else now but this fragment was only the second half of this dream.



      No notes for now.
    8. Disturbing Dream about my fathers passing on Tuesday night (1/14)

      by , 01-17-2020 at 02:22 AM
      On Tuesday night, I had really disturbing dream I have from time to time about my fathers passing this summer. This is the first time I have had this dream since before Christmas.

      The dream starts with me driving my SUV rushing to get to the hospital because my father has had a few setbacks and my not survive.

      I get to the hospital and spend the day with him and other family members. He is still lucid and carrying on converstations with all of us. During the day, we have several scares where his vitals drop to dangerous levels but they keep bouncing back.

      My uncle and I decide to spend the night at the hospital with him since his vitals are still not stable for long periods of time.

      Everything seems to be going ok for the first few hours and then around 11PM they start dropping out of control and the doctors tell my uncle and I we need to let the rest of the family know.

      I wake up form this dream when I am pulling out my cell phone to call my mom and let her know dad has taken a turn for the worse and she needs to get to the hospital.

      I did not have this dream recur last night (1/15). I normally go a long time between when it recurs and hope that continues to happen since it is so disturbing and reminds me of the worse night of my life.
    9. lxviii.

      by , 01-16-2020 at 01:52 PM
      I've been having a somewhat better dream recall average than I normally would, but haven't been taking note of dreams enough and my last DJ here was ages ago now. This is a particularly memorable dream fragment from this week.



      Dream Fragment:


      First half is missing.

      Was in my home city, or some altered version of it. It was day time and I was heading home on foot; there was a fluid transition to my arrival home but I've forgotten the detail of it, and when I got there it was dark at that point. My dad was in his car and approached me and told me to get in the car so we could go somewhere (for a meal or something?) - I was a bit reluctant, I was feeling in pain and really tired; mom was sat at the back with one of my brothers (T) and one of my cousins (R) was sat at the front, so I sat next to mom.

      Dad started driving and very shortly after, we were going through some surreal highway that I've seen in some other dream fairly recently; surrounded by cliffs and 10-story buildings on top of the cliffs. It then turned into a rock and dirt road and there were dark abysses either side of the road, with more cliffs in the distance. I was a bit apprehensive too, but mom was starting to get quite worried and told dad, in the same way as I ever expect.

      He reassured her with a smile, saying: "It's fine, I've driven on these roads loads of times!". Very shortly after he said that, we went over a bump in the road, but there was nothing on the other side. The car fell straight into one of those abysses, none of us seemingly very concerned by this, plunging into water at the bottom.

      At first we didn't try to get out; I remember thinking "Well it doesn't really matter" but eventually we all got out and swam up. When we got to the surface of the water, some sort of root-like things descended toward us and took us to a sort of rocky area under a much bigger floating mass of rock.

      At the centre of this area there was some sort of little shop. I remember going in and seeing all these small 4:3 CRT TV screens, each one no bigger than my head, sat on shelves, almost perfectly spaced apart. Each one of the screens had a landscape view in it, like a live feed, but not much was going on in any of them. It was a colourful shelf to look at.

      As I walked along this narrow path between these big metal shelves with the TVs, something caught my attention on top of one shelf. A moonstone, but not as bright and vivid or even opalescent like one I actually have in reality. The gem was pale and sort of a sepia or cream colour but it was still slightly translucent as expected. What was odd about it was that it was encrusted with some sort of gold filigree and small golden spheres.

      Start to remember less detail at this point. I remember dad went off his own way and so did my sibling and cousin. Mom stayed with me and we went outside, where it was still dark, although the direct area around wherever we went was always seemingly lit. More like the darkness was a fog made of black.

      I remember seeing some bones or dead plants and noticing the floor was particularly arid. Eventually we found some building thing, which was very square. It had a brand new kitchen I think, but apart from that it was mostly just dark corridors. I don't remember anything after that point.


      A note:
      I remember that in the dream the surreal landscapes felt familiar but out of place. Although I did not get anywhere near being lucid, I've had more of these moments lately where I'll have pre-lucid thoughts or recognition of a feature from a past dream.
    10. Two scifi dreams

      by , 12-08-2019 at 11:57 PM (Letaali's Dream Journal)
      Cauliflower Spaceship
      I'm far away in space and in the far future. I'm on a massive spaceship that was damaged from the inside, by a battle I think, I can't recall. I'm explaining to the crew that a chemical reaction near the engines created oxygen that was leaking to the fuel line, making us go way faster than we should. We were way off course, doomed to be lost in space as our ship was damaged.

      Suddenly our ship is destroyed. We have spacesuits on and float through space uncontrollably. I see an alien ship, it looks like a cauliflower. The front of it splits into 6 triangular pieces that open up to reveal a massive swirling portal inside the ship. We fall straight into the portal and find ourselves falling to an alien planet. Somehow we land safely. We are in an alien city that looks to be very advanced technologically. On the side of the road there's a booth that gives you a shower and new clothes instantly. I try it out and in a flash, my skin is dripping wet and I have a brand new suit on that's still warm like it was just ironed out. There's another smaller machine that creates coffee from some sort of recycling. It looks bad and smells like poop, which makes throw up before I even taste it. Dream ends.

      Memory-erasing hostile aliens
      I'm with army friends next to a big lake that is unfamiliar. This location doesn't look like Finland. There is a mountain range behind us that the other soldiers turned to sand with some bizarre weapon. Then the dream gets confusing, because we encounter aliens that eat memories. I can only recall quick moments of action. We were driving in jeeps, most likely leaving the lake. Another moment there is a towering alien with no facial features, like a silhouette, standing in front of us. We start firing at it, but my memory cuts there. I recall the alien firing a green plasma orb.

      Suddenly I'm standing on the road leading to my childhood home. The gaps in my memory terrify me. The aliens are using my worst fear against me. The streets are empty. I run to the house and turn on the TV. The news make no mention of the aliens. No one else can remember them, even though they could be everywhere. My brother is in the house and sees my worried look, asking what's going on. The fear wakes me up and persists even while awake. Takes a moment for me to realize that it's safe now.
    11. Monday, December 2

      by , 12-04-2019 at 11:29 PM
      I am inside some house with Dadís side of the family. It seems like a get-together for either birthdays or a holiday. This house seems dim and sparsely furnished. Iím in a large living room with the cousins. We are making a race track? with boxes of games. I am mostly doing it - theyíve lined up the boxes, but I change them to lengthwise so they cover more ground. The boxes are serving as a wall or barrier, while the negative space on the carpet is the actual track. Iím not sure why they didnít have the boxes lengthwise to begin with.
      Categories
      Uncategorized
    12. 21 Nov: Storm, waterfall, home invasion, friends and family

      by , 11-21-2019 at 09:58 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      The world is on fire. But I am part of a group who has knowledge of a way out. We are preparing to leave through some sort of a secret tunnel to another world. On the day I am going to cross it, I have to go through a mob of desperate people on the streets, but despite difficulties, I make it to the designated place. There is some sort of magic involved so we need to close the "door" behind us before other people notice it and also use it. I don't feel bad for leaving them behind, I feel relieved. (don't judge me )

      At my farm. A storm is coming and my dad is with me but doesn't want to help me shut the doors and windows. A big cloud seems to be sucking air and debris and another one in an opposite direction, seems to be pouring it down. There are also many tornadoes forming. I see my dogs Maya and Tara outside and bring them to the kitchen. Don't know where the others are. Lightnings start small fires. I go outside and follow the trail of fires and put them out. I end up walking a long way, until I reach a beautiful village by the sea. I cross the village downtown and notice I am being followed by a chinese dude who seems familiar (has followed me before). I try to lose him by entering a labyrinth of streets where a market spreads out. Then I feel strangely sick with strong vertigo and feeling my consciousness fading. At this point it gets scary because I actually feel like this is happening to me in real life as I lay in bed and I fear I might be having some kind of collapse and not wake up. (but I do)

      It's been raining and a new waterfall formed in the hill in front of my house. It is beautiful and I take a photo to send to Riverstone. I go outside and as I get closer, I see people bathing in it and lounging in chairs and basically enjoying it as if they are at the beach.

      I am picking wood for my fireplace from a storage in my terrace. It is night but some village kids are passing by the road outside and they take a peak over the wall to see who's there. One of them asks to use the toilet but I feel he just wants to snoop around. I say no, but then notice voices of people inside my house and wonder if they tricked me to get through the front door as I was distracted. Someone did enter, but it is my uncles along with some distant relatives I don't even know. They somehow assumed they could come in. I explain it is my house and that I'd like that they called first asking if they could come. But they couldn't care less, they seem to have an agenda. More people start coming in and taking tables outside, rearranging everything in my house. I am told it is for a party or a wedding. Some of the family members are choosing rooms to sleep in. My house is 10 times bigger than in reality and so they all find some room to stay. I go around yelling at them, asking them to leave, but some of these people don't even know who I am and don't even care. They were told it was fine to invade my house. I then focus on keeping the doors and windows shut because of the cats, which I can't find any and I am losing it.

      Coming from walking Hachi and there is a bike race passing in front of my house. But Hachi is cool as a cucumber.

      At some place like school and I am hungry. In cafeteria there is a group of people arranging the place for an event or maybe lunch later. But there is a table full of peeled bananas anybody can have if they want. I take one but its so mushy I throw it away and go get a second. A nice guy comments about the bananas while also eating one.

      Meet my school crush Marco and a common friend and I am not sure if he recognizes me, doesn't show signs of it. We need to spend the afternoon together because of some project. I am working on the computer, they are working on something else. Later on, we sit together at a couch talking and Marco touches my hand very softly and discreetly and I realize he did recognize me. Then some people from their families comes in and I notice some angry looks in our direction. They noticed the hands touching fondly and apparently he is married now. There is a little girl about 2 years old that comes straight at me and she is adorably articulate, shows me something and then sings a song. I think she is his daughter. I feel embarrassed that she sings way better than me.

      I go to my friend's restaurant to get some free food. In exchange I offer to help him with the dishes, if he needed, so he puts me doing stupid tasks instead, like diluting the bottled ketchup with water. He says it's because they are getting dry, not to fool customers, but I am not sure. Then he makes do some other absurd tasks and I am like "I have had it! This guy always takes advantage of my kindness"
      [/COLOR]

      Updated 12-10-2019 at 10:37 PM by 34880

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment
    13. 13 Nov: Grandma's, filming a commercial and superheros

      by , 11-13-2019 at 12:04 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      My grandma's house is back in the family. I am asked to spend a few days in it and I ponder moving there for good with my animals. I comment with someone that unfortunately the gym in that village has some type of martial arts but only in a shitty schedule that I can't attend and that may influence my decision to move there.

      I am a pretty confident actress trying to make it. I walk into a studio where I am going to shoot a commercial. I cross path with a kid I know from a Star Wars movie as an extra. The commercial is about a delivery service but for some reason I have to sit on a toilet behind a guy sitting at a desk at an office. I am pretty sure nobody wanted to shoot this embarrassing commercial. I feel extremely embarrassed. Then I go to the toilet for real and I am attacked by some jealous girl with a knife. We have an ugly fight and I slash her shirt and she eventually gives up, but she tells me she was sent by a group of people determined to hurt me because somehow they are jealous of me.

      The Avengers are now old. Even Superman is a retired ill man. But there is a world threat and they are called back to action. They say to call the Incredibles instead, that they will handle it. There is also some dude called General Radical (his name) and they want to call him to, but he is a kleptomaniac. When they knock on his door he is proud to show the stuff he is been stealing. He is proud of it.
    14. Crashing Waves

      by , 09-20-2019 at 01:33 PM
      I am at the beach amid some boulders, talking to someone who is putting on a set of chainmail armor to demonstrate the appearance of historical attire. They then put on rubber and neoprene boots (that are typicaly paired with wetsuits) and, not noticing that this is anachronistic, I point out that they are great for walking over the rocky areas one can find in these sort of locations.
      I then climb up onto a nearby boulder to get a better view of the area (noticing as I do so that some members of my family are here as well). From here I can see that the force of the waves is increasing. They build up in a large swell before crashing down onto the beach, which has a bit of a tunnel-like shape here on account of the boulders. The first wave reaches to the bottom of my feet and I can see that the next one will reach even higher as it breaks before the previous one has receeded. I brace for the impact, though it is not as bad as I feared and doesn't dislodge me from my spot. It does however knock off my father's glasses as he was sitting lower and closer to the sea and I think that someone should get them before they are washed away.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    15. 14 Sep: Attacked by assassins on my vacation with family

      by , 09-14-2019 at 10:05 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      Vacationing with some family members in a resort. My late uncle Zť and my aunt invite me to a walk at some waterfalls in a mountain. But it is really cold and I argue that it is better to stay by the fireplace and there is an indoor heated pool I really want to try, So I stay there, But I don't relax because I am attacked by Chinese assassins, One of them is a genetically enhanced clone of another one. I still beat her. Then some other dude attacks me, but I knock him down and he bleeds badly from his head. I feel compassion and concern for him and offer to help him. He is conscious and gets up. Refuses my help and says he has a place nearby where he can get medical help. I still walk with him until this place. Basically we get to a checkpoint where hundreds of people try to get in, but it is not into a nice place. It is actually the underworld where criminals and outcasts go to. He goes straight to the gate guards and they allow him in immediately.
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