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    Thread: DCs Say the Darndest Things

    1. #2676
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      World's Best Angry Birds Player: "In order to proceed, you must meditate on the meaning of Vishnu."

      Me: "But I'm not hindu."

      World's Best Angry Birds Player: "Be nike and just do it, like I did when I shot that bird at the last glass block ass. My ass." (Slaps her butt.) "And maybe you'll end up as well-off as me." (Smiles)

      ...

      Last night there was also a table with brains on it. Someone told me it was lost and found for people that had lost their minds.
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    2. #2677
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      Random background conversation: "It's like playing to a completely sober group of drunk people."
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    3. #2678
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      Said to a female DC in my last and BEST lucid dream:

      Me: “Would you like to have sex?”
      Her: “YES!”
      Me: “Have you ever had sex before?”
      Her: “Yes, but I’ve never reached perfection.”
      Me: “Well, practice makes perfect!” - I think to myself - I’m fucking clever even in my dreams!!!

      If you want to know how this played out, see: http://www.dreamviews.com/blogs/doub...fection-74888/
      Last edited by DoubleHelix; 05-04-2016 at 09:31 PM.
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    4. #2679
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      I said this in a dream once:
      "Hey, if you were in a nightmare or something, you can put your finger through your palm to see that you're dreaming!"

    5. #2680
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      I became lucid around a DC of a good friend. After touching the grass around me she walks up to me and says "Hard to believe none of it's real Isn't it?"

    6. #2681
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      Woman tube video - "My boyfriend and ! both enjoy double turtle necking, and we shouldn't be judged for it!" (Referring to some naughty thing I believe, picture a turtle neck lol)
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      “I don't think that you have any insight whatsoever into your capacity for good until you have some well-developed insight into your capacity for evil.”
      ― Jordan B. Peterson

    7. #2682
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      My friends were acting like animals in a Target store. My friend Kevin Stone in the dream was hopping around like a frog and croaking, "Ribbit!! Ribbit!!".
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    8. #2683
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      "Well, there goes my theory that gen 5 Pokemon are datamined Pokemon from gen 4."
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      You cannot defeat the devil with his own weapons, you can only replace him that way.

      Violence is for those who are too weak to solve problems with words.

    9. #2684
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      I'm walking amongst a group of fellow realtors and we come across a trade newspaper wrack containing the publication: "Hell's Hills"
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      FryingMan's Unified Theory of Lucid Dreaming: Pay Attention, Reflect, Recall -- Both Day and Night[link]
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      “No amount of security is worth the suffering of a mediocre life chained to a routine that has killed your dreams.”
      "...develop stability in awareness and your dreams will change in extraordinary ways" -- TYoDaS

    10. #2685
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      I remember there was one weird dream I had last month, where at some point my mom suggested I go home with my Dad...and then she randomly referred to his white truck as "the April Fools' truck". (Which was really weird--and somewhat a bit off--because I had this dream in May and not April. Why do we even have them seasonal holiday dreams at the wrong time of year?)
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    11. #2686
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      Two friends enthusiastically announce "We're going to make a Lexington!" then leave the area. They come back a little later showing off an art project featuring random letters glued to a colorful canvas. While holding it up, one says in a singsongy voice "Look how his psyche made him FEEeeel!"

      Another random quote I forgot the context for: "Please! I'm trying to learn to juggle!"
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    12. #2687
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      My dreams don't usually feature too much dialogue, so neither of these are quotes, but I had two funny (non-lucid) dreams last night.

      In the first, I went on a quest with my teacher to try to find some mysterious.. thing. I don't know if it was an object or what, but we were trying to find it. At the end of the dream, however, he admitted that he had made the whole thing up and the thing didn't exist! I was disappointed, but I wasn't angry at him (for some reason).

      In the second, Adolf Hitler was keeping my cousin captive in a room full of cakes (no joke). She was forced to ice the cakes to look like the flags of various countries. Hitler was throwing some kind of party.
      Later, at the party (I was there for some reason, along with some family members), the guests revolted and overthrew Hitler. We then celebrated by eating the cakes (there was whipped cream, too).
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    13. #2688
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      (One Mother to another standing to the side of a grade-school lesson taking place outdoors)
      Mother: "I love this teacher, she gives such clear explanations so the students understand so well"
      Me to girl in class: "What have you learned today?"
      Girl: <blank stare>
      Mother to girl: "Go back to class!"
      FryingMan's Unified Theory of Lucid Dreaming: Pay Attention, Reflect, Recall -- Both Day and Night[link]
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      “No amount of security is worth the suffering of a mediocre life chained to a routine that has killed your dreams.”
      "...develop stability in awareness and your dreams will change in extraordinary ways" -- TYoDaS

    14. #2689
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      Me: Why can't I turn on a light switch?
      DC: Because there are no photons here. They were all sucked out in a great accident from our power plants.
      ____

      Me: What's your favourite food?
      DC (in a very derpy voice): CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSEEE!!
      Me: Ok but what sort of cheese?
      DC: Oh I don't go that deep into things.

    15. #2690
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      One of my many Dream Characters tried to talk to me but, I couldn't hear him. I was deaf in the dream!! I asked him to help me in sign language but, sadly the stupid DC didn't know sign language so, he just mocked me instead. I gave him a piece of paper so, he can write down what he had said to me but, he only laughed in my face.
      The deafness was only temporary, though because I realized that I was dreaming and I recovered my hearing.
      Last edited by Ibeauty; 07-01-2016 at 11:45 PM.
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    16. #2691
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      I am browsing through some Harry Potter DVD's which seem to have the proper titles until one of them says - "Harry Potter and the one where Voldermort has tuberculosis" (which I believe was meant to be the first one or second one) and it also had a picture of a farm or something on the cover which was quite random.
      "One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving."

      The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho

    17. #2692
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      See bat sitting on far counter. Go up, and start talking as it starts flying.

      It starts looking different, like a game character with inconsistent sprites, and begins looking kinda like a pig with wings.

      I ask it, "Do you want to come to my house?"

      He starts responding, by means of a chat-box overlay thing in my view. He makes some simple affirmation of "yes".

      I then ask, "So what do you like to do?"

      He typed very quickly (like 10 messages in 1 second), so I didn't see or remember all of it, but I remember the four main ones below:
      ==========
      extract [something]
      ...
      count with the sheps [his typo, not mine]
      i'm buffer the whole time
      ...
      ...
      count horses
      dig minerals up
      ...
      [something about a farm]
      ==========

      While I was continuing to read the messages, and imprint them in memory ("sheeps, buffer, horses, minerals, farm"), I just suddenly snapped back to the real-world, and was lying on my side.

    18. #2693
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      In combat training classes, I am practicing archery and a shorter guy walks up to me and says:

      "No girl wants a guy who's good with a bow and arrow. Girls only want guys who swing big swords around all day."

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    19. #2694
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      I had a dream that I was babysitting some girl. Her father was on a business trip in PA. She missed her daddy. I recall, we were playing wizards or something like that? At one point, the girl started to cry because I changed her hair colored from black to purple with green polka-dots and other things.
      IRL, I used to do that to my Nieces and nephews and yes they would cry but, in the dreams, your mind will take the change so Literally.
      Last edited by Ibeauty; 07-11-2016 at 08:06 PM.

    20. #2695
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      Young woman to another young woman:
      "Start calling him '<his name>-table' this will start him thinking about settling down with you"

      --

      Teacher to class: "upgrade to the 664 [optical equipment/glasses] for next time"
      Me: "will the 664 last until the end of the class?"
      Teacher: "The 564 is actually good enough"
      Last edited by FryingMan; 07-12-2016 at 07:28 AM.
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      FryingMan's Unified Theory of Lucid Dreaming: Pay Attention, Reflect, Recall -- Both Day and Night[link]
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      “No amount of security is worth the suffering of a mediocre life chained to a routine that has killed your dreams.”
      "...develop stability in awareness and your dreams will change in extraordinary ways" -- TYoDaS

    21. #2696
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      There was a Dream Character, in my dream, I had a while ago, named Bertha who had dark hair and she looked like a Sasquatch. She wanted to fight me. I remember in this dream, a WWF ring appeared out of nowhere. Then there was a lady DC referee who looked like someone I went to school with also appeared with red hair along with an audience.

      The sasquatch DC *Screamed* "Winner takes a lock of hair!"

      *We fight. I kicked her in the neck. Then she knocked out my teeth.*

      Me: *Thought to myself, Wait a minute? I forgot I'm lucid*

      *Two very sharp swords appeared out of nowhere. We had an epic sword battle. She tried to slash me. This was when I turned intangible just as she slashed through me like butter. She was only slashing through nothing but, cloth. *

      The sasquatch DC: *Surprised and confused at what just happened* "Come out!! Come out!! You freak!! You can't hide from me!!"

      *I was invisible. She had a hi-tech boomerang thing that was following me around the place. She also had this tracking scanner attached to her arm which could identify my genetic code. The boomerang could see me but, Bertha couldn't.*

      Me: "Guess where I am, Bertha?"

      The sasquatch DC: "I don't need to see you!"

      Me: * I let out a laugh and then punched the DC in the jaw.*
      Last edited by Ibeauty; 07-13-2016 at 01:22 AM.

    22. #2697
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      Last weekend I had a dream where I was in a crowded house, and I was downstairs in a kitchen which was next to a basement garage, so I opened the fridge and found 3 milk conatiners...one of which was marked "chocolate fudge".
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    23. #2698
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      Probably better off not being on here, I think I still have a fever, dammit! Anywho, I once had a dream about being in some hotel on a business trip in Honolulu, Hawaii. This where I met up with some of my least favorite people in the world. One DC of them was my sworn enemy. At one point she went into labor. Only she did not recognize me. I recall helping her with her delivery and her newborn. At one point, I had asked her what she was going to call her child. She replied with, "Pineapple- Popacale-POP!"  I remember trying to keep a straight face. I said, "That's a very interesting name!"
      Last edited by Ibeauty; 07-18-2016 at 01:37 AM.

    24. #2699
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      One rich guy to another, talking about financing the purchase of named mansions:

      "You have 'Man's Dream 1', will you use it to finance 'Man's Dream 2'?"
      FryingMan's Unified Theory of Lucid Dreaming: Pay Attention, Reflect, Recall -- Both Day and Night[link]
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      “No amount of security is worth the suffering of a mediocre life chained to a routine that has killed your dreams.”
      "...develop stability in awareness and your dreams will change in extraordinary ways" -- TYoDaS

    25. #2700
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      From an older entry of mine : I pick up a coffee mug and I'm about to eat it when my cousin looks at me confused. I tell her : " I have eaten these before."
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