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    1. Two Guys and a Monk walk into a Bar...

      by , 09-05-2014 at 01:08 AM (Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness)
      My friend and I go into a bar with a monk we both know. My friend orders a sandwich and a few drinks. I look up at the menu, but can't read it clearly because I haven't done my eye exercises. I look back and the monk has disappeared, no where to be found. I look up at the menu again, trying to decide what to get as I wait for someone to come back to the counter to let me order. I decide I'll just get whatever is in the top left corner, I don't really care what it is.

      As the cashier comes back, a group of people come into the bar and cut in front of me. A few of them give their order, then I step in front to place mine next. A really tall strong guy shoves me aside telling me he's next in line. I tell him "I was here first"
      "Do you want to fight about it?" He asks.
      "I don't want to fight" I tell him, and just walk over to the other cash register where no one is in line at all. I look back and see the big guy air boxing, throwing some really hard punches that look like they would kill me.

      Another guy comes over to this second cash register and shoves me aside asking, "Do you think you could beat me up?"

      Even though I'm pretty sure I could beat him up, I tell him, "No, you're stronger than I am, there's no way I could beat you up". Before I can finish my sentence, he puts his finger in my mouth. I'm really tempted to bite down on it really hard, but don't really want to get into a fight, so I just wait a few seconds and he takes it out. Then he starts calling me all kinds of mean names, trying to make me mad and start a fight.

      Ignoring his taunts, I place my order, "Whatever is in the top left of your menu up there" as I point to the hanging menu. Loud music has replaced the two men who were trying to fight me, and it is hard to speak loud enough to order. The cashier then tries to give me a bunch of chicken, fried chicken patties, and other types of chicken. I don't really want it, but accept two of them anyway.

      My friend hasn't gotten his sandwich yet, so I go over to join him as we wait for our food.
    2. Fishing

      by , 09-05-2014 at 01:05 AM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #361 - DILD - 4:21AM

      Fell asleep listening in SINE Isochronic Entrainer, Marijuana preset. I am not sure how much time passed, but I wake up with no recall and decide to turn the sound off. I go back to sleep with a mantra. Dream for get rest of the morning where extremely vivid.


      I am fishing some pond with Tonya and her girlfriend. They are sitting on the solid rock bank, complaining about no catching any fish. I see small perch in the clear water and say something about being able to catch only perch. I throw an empty hook in the water and on of the larger perch latch on. I pull it out and comment on how I can only catch perch. There is laughter. I notice the hook went a little far and has almost caught the fishes eye. I have a hard time taking the hook out without doing too much damage to the fish. I briefly consider making bait from the perch, but decide against it. When I finally get the fish off the hook I throw it back in.

      There is some dream glitch and now the perch is swimming up out of the water about eye level. I smack the fish with my rod but there is little effect. Then, I notice this is most likely a dream and do a quick nose plug. There is some stuffiness but I do blow through. I know I have goals but can't recall. As I think, I move on impulse by jumping on Tonya's back and acting like I am riding a bull. Then I recall thinking about the black stereotype of liking catfish. I decide that must be my goal. I shout at Tonya's girlfriend, "Hey black girl (I can't remember her name). Get me some fish." I think this idea was all wrong as I wake up.


      I'm sorry that sounds horribly racist but It really wasn't.

      I have some dream about having kittens and rats in the house. The older cats started eating the kittens but I find more and more kittens.
      Categories
      lucid
    3. Hostage Negotiation Failed

      by , 09-05-2014 at 12:58 AM (Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness)
      In a small room with a monk, surrounded by tough looking men armed with flails, I don't know what to expect. I too have a flail, but the monk is unarmed, sitting down at the table with 5 glasses of tea and water of varying sizes. There is a big cup, a mug, a shot glass, a regular cup and a tiny glass. Apparently, the men are waiting for us to pay them in exchange for the release of some children they are holding in captivity.

      The monk tells them, "I must first drink 5 glasses" and proceeds to drink from the large cup. Then he pulls me close and whispers, "When you see me get the children, attack them with your flail, but run to follow me once I've gotten far enough away with the children". Still holding me close like he is going to say something else, he remains silent for a few moments. I feel like this is a suicide mission, but don't mind because it will save the children.

      Finishing the 5 glasses, he begins to sign a check as the armed men look on eagerly. One of them quickly snatches it away when he finishes signing it, and they all begin to push us both out of the room. No sign of the children anywhere, it seems like they had no intention of freeing them in the first place, and now might just try to kill us.

      I walk into an auditorium in the middle of a performance, but turn around to find a more subtle way out. The men with flails slowly walk toward us like some sort of wall of death - slow, but certain. We exit out the front door, run down some stairs and jump over a bush. Seeing our car in the parking lot, we run to it, and squeeze through a gap in the chain link fence.

      Speeding away from there, night quickly falls, and we find ourselves on a one way road that turns into a two way road. Swerving to dodge oncoming traffic, our car becomes a monorail train on a track, automatically piloted. Up ahead is a sharp 180 degree turn. I hold on as the train banks into it and quickly turns the corner.
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