• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




    View RSS Feed

    Recent DJ Posts

    1. ccxlvi. Backwards ride, Last settlement

      by , 04-04-2021 at 03:01 PM
      3rd April 2021

      Some in-line thoughts and notes.

      Dream:

      I am in a car with H. We are driving down a hilly area. I'm sitting facing the back of the car, but I'm in the copilot seat next to H who is at the driver's seat. The steering is not on the side it should be. It's sunny and I can see sharp shadows from the sunlight. H doesn't seem to b ewearing sunglasses or straining despite direct sunlight in his eyes.

      Behind us, or in front of me, I see a teal van coming down the same road. As they get close I see through our windows it's an old man and his young daughter. They are somewhat playfully fighting over the wheel but it concerns me. It's not somethign to fool around with, I feel. And I fear they may collide with us as they are going past us.

      There's a transition but I don't become aware of it in the dream. I am now walking towards a table which seems to be part of an esplanade on a plaza. It's in a tight spot between two buildings with white painted render.

      H is sitting down at the table and I take the seat directly in front of him. Adjoining our table is another table. Sat to my right, is the girl from before. I try to tell her something about some dangers? And then, before I talk about the whole steering thing, H tells me not to bother and I realise at this point that I have no memory of the last few minutes.

      I think I ask about what happened but don't get a clear answer and now the father is also coming back and sitting in front of his daughter at the table. We each have a meal, but oddly enough I don't pay any attention to mine.

      Before all this. Me and H are in a town. It's dark and night time. Can't see too well except for some faint light at the edge of street light fall-off, away from where we are. We are going back to the car but H can't remember where it is exactly, but I did know exactly where it was. The car was like dad's car?

      Before that, not sure what the place is anymore. Looking through a cabinet of some sort. There are drawing pads and other things. Me and H talk, they apparently belong to a childhood friend of his, called Tania. I ask what kind of things she drew? He tells me that when they played in the garden she would pretend to have superpowers she'd imagined/come up with and she drew some furry characters, in answer to my question. I vaguely recall seeing one or two drawings, focusing on faces and muzzles.

      Fragment:

      Before the other dream, before the first morning awakening. Something in a town, medieval-like but also old home like? There's a WoW feel. My old best friend, D is present in the dream somehow and we talk or something. There's something about T3 gear and tanking. I can't remember anything else but even writing about this made me feel nostalgic for some reason, not just for the game but for this friend too.

      4th April 2021

      Scraps and fragment:

      Dream recall mostly faded and no notes taken. I remember at the end of one dream, I realised faintly that I was dreaming and so it was time to wake up or something. There was a hazard situation? But I'm not sure in what context now.

      I had a very long dream sequence. In the dream I am in a dark land. I think it was brighter before, but it was night time and I am in some countryside area. In the distance I see burning towns and things like that. The path I am walking along is patrolled by demons accompanied by a dog-like creature on a chain lead. I am able to use some sort of invisibility ability, every twelve seconds or so. It lasts just long enough that I can hide in a corner and when they go past me, I use the ability to make sure they can't see me. I feel like there's some kind of spotlight on the three of us.

      The dog senses me on some level but they leave and my invisibility fades and I move along. There are other patrols and so instead of continuing down this road going downhill I instead take an uphill fork in the road, which is narrower and seemingly goes unpatrolled. I don't feel any negative emotions, but I suppose I just feel neutral about everything.

      Transition? I am at a town of some sort. It's seemingly the last surviving settlement in this area. At some point I see the settlement from an RTS-like point of view. There are many sub-cultures in this town, who are seemingly self-segregating in cultural terms. But I also remember going into shops and talking to people. Life seems normal and there is a modern feel to most things. There were many little plots involving interaction with others in this dream but I don't recall any in enough to detail to remember any of them fully.
    2. Saturday, March 20

      by , 04-02-2021 at 06:25 AM
      I am in some building. It seems to mold around the surrounding terrain and/or go below it. The architecture is minimalistic but sleek, dark wood and darker walls. Everything seems angular as well. I am looking for a restroom and find one, an opening, at an angle, in a wall. I enter and follow it, a longer hallway. It seems both open and private, and I love this effect and its subtle opulence. I think before I fully get into the restroom I arrive at a corner that opens into a larger space. Off to the left the building is open to the terrain, a rock grade with a small trickle of water. In front of me is the main opening, a vault type space, the far side of which is a wall coming out of the terrain, with a large, high window. Through the window I see some tables and two old men sitting at them. I take a picture of the scene and when I look back at it, the men look ominous and familiar. (They look like Ken Rose and the old customer at work with a ponytail and pebble mask). I think I take a turn and end up making it to the actual restroom.




      I am in a car with Vladimir Nabokov, him in the driverís seat and me in the passengerís. He has a piece of paper, on which there is a line of symbols that I think repeat. Iím not sure the objective here, if there is any, but heís found a clever way to pencil in a few to perfectly look like the outline of a house (he gets two or three on the larger sheet). I think this somehow correlates to his last name.
      Categories
      Uncategorized
    3. Fire bending completed after first night. Massage. Hotel.

      by , 03-10-2021 at 03:50 PM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      I went to bed with the mantra. "Stop and meditate, the answer is fire" because I want to fire bend in my dream. Sometimes when I put up goals and try them out in my dream I stop when I don't succeed on the first try. I prepared myself to don't give up after the first try for this mission which helped me out.

      I'm driving a car in Lyckeby. I wonder how I got here and start to count my fingers while I drive which I get a bit ashamed of because I should keep track on the other cars. My fingers look fine first but then I see six fingers and get somewhat lucid. I wonder how I should escape this car and decide just to open the door and fly out. While I fly I remember to stop and try out my fire bending. I land on the ground with some child present. I try to create a fire in my hand but fail. I remember that I should keep on going and not give up. I try to think about what could be a small start in order to get bigger and bigger. I start with just trying to make my vision go red without actually create a fire and succeed. I see big red particles in the air in front of me. I try to advance and create a fire in my hand. A 2D fire is in my hand but it is painted and not real. I try some more and succeed with a small real fire in my hand. I don't feel the fire, I only see it. I try to shoot the fire forward and succeed. The fire comes out from my hands in a single stream that starts small and erupt in a cloud one meter away. The child next to me is also doing some similar fire bending.

      Notes: I would like to try to fly away with a car while I am in it. I think I would like to improve my fire bending and make it natural. My flying is so natural to me that I often use it in non-lucid dreams.

      I'm massaging a woman. Her skin is very thick and has oil in it. She thinks I'm doing a good job.

      I'm in a hotel and Filippa is also there. She wants to spend time with me while her family is downstairs. We walk down the stairs.
    4. 7 Mar: Meeting Keanu Reeves, suicidal mother, my grandparents new life

      by , 03-07-2021 at 11:32 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At some hotel with friends on holidays. We meet Keanu Reeves, who's there too. Me and some other girl decide to come talk to him and flirt a little, but the other girl ain't so bright and she had written notes of what she wanted to say to him. With the nerves she messes the whole thing up and instead of me trying to take over the conversation, I kind of help her out reminding what she had to say and give her space to recover and get his attention. Keanu is quite impressed with my attitude, but still goes on laughing with her, showing more interest for her, which annoys me.
      I leave them and go to a garage where we left a van to be repaired or something and I stay around for a bit. Then I go back to the pension and see some lady I know passing by the reception with her two kids, a teenager and a younger one. She is asking for some nearby restaurant she heard about and then sees the business card of a vegetarian restaurant owned by a friend of mine. She picks it up and she is considering going there instead, but her teen kid says "no way", as she hates vegetarian. I ask her why and tell her I can change her mind.
      Later on in the evening I am outside with my friends and see the two kids alone inside a car. I go ask if everything is fine. They say their mom went looking for something and they are waiting for her to come back. Then the oldest says she is not feeling very well and that she feels that something terrible is going to happen. I find it weird as I too recall a strange premonition I had some days ago. So I go look for their mother, terribly worried. I see her jumping from a viewpoint and being run over by a car on the street below. She dies. Then the kids get stuck for hours in the car when the police arrives, because they don't know what to do with them and don't want them to get out and see what happened to their mom.

      Visiting my (deceased) grandparents. They now live in a new house in a small suburban village. The house is in a poor neighborhood, the decoration is very simple, kitsch and old fashioned. I really wonder why they "moved" here and cut bonds with all family members. But they are clearly happy, completely disconnected from all their previous life and family. I feel they are at peace, so I am happy for them.
    5. ccxxxiii. Nature visit, soil lab

      by , 03-02-2021 at 03:58 PM
      27th February 2021

      Fragment:


      (was a long dream but only recalled bits and pieces)

      Me, H, J and S; we're all meeting up at some rocky place. They parked their car in a small rocky alcove, I think we go and see the car?

      As they found out, it was wet and the bottom part of their car is getting too wet. In this semi-flat rocky area there are some waves of pure and clear water, not more than an inch high. The area is slightly sloped down away from the rocky alcove bit but the small waves of water still climb with ease.

      I talked to J about it and we discuss the underground water tables. I don't remember getting wet or feeling wet from standing in the shallow water.

      Then something about us driving elsewhere. J was in their own car and we were in ours. H gives me his phone so I can text her if needed. But I suggest it may not be a good idea since she'll be driving too. (S was seemingly gone from the dream at this point?)

      During the drive, I think we discuss food and how we should maybe stop for lunch somewhere along the way. I think we were going to but then we don't? I know that we do go past a place and I mention this and H remarks with "well, too late now" as we drive past.

      We arrive at a lab of some sort. They do advanced soil analysis here? We get into a conflict with the personnel because they are apparently doing something evil.

      There's a mini turret that tries to shoot at us but me and H approach it covertly and work to disable it. I end up simply disconnecting the neutral cable, not fully expecting it to work, but it does.

      I think we then confront some of the personnel/research team.
    6. ccxxix. Homes

      by , 02-20-2021 at 01:07 PM
      18th February 2021

      Dream:

      In a version of our home and street. The van is outside and it was open in order for me to do something?

      Our street looks like it's part of some city like Paris, I don't know. To the right and beyond where there's that intersecting road, there are much taller buildings. I recall something about having to wait. Maybe I have a backpack. Our front door is open. At several points throughout the dream I alter the colours of our house, both interior and exterior. I remember we have some kind of small tiled mosaic floor. I eventually become satisfied with a sandy colour scheme with red accents.

      I remember I see a dream neighbour down the street. He's walking a dog or something and I'm concerned about it pooping near our door, but in reality they are too far for it to matter.

      I don't remember what kind of day it is, maybe sunny but light looks overcast. At some point while I'm waiting I get into a random car across the street, it's red maybe? When I get in I'm suddenly on a first floor level, but I don't realise or care about this in the dream. I think at one point I see a man from one of the windows (right side of the car, I was looking out left initially) and we talk.

      (recall gap)

      The next thing I remember, I'm in a car with two people. I'm on the front passenger side, which is on the right (though I don't realise this in the dream). One person is a man and the other I can't recall. We're in a very busy area of a city like L but bigger, wider roads. We're on a four or five lane road approaching a very complicated and busy intersection.

      Me and the man are having a conversation. We're discussing building a computer while the lights are still red. He's apparently from the past and is asking me about how hardware prices have changed and I presume he means over the last twenty years.

      In the dream, I think I feel I was in a further future time than in reality. I tell him, some things like USB and other small accessory stuff are a bit cheaper, but not much. Otherwise most other things remain more or less the same but with very good specs.

      The lights at this intersection become green and we start going. On the right there's a diagonally intersecting road we're merging with, it has just as many lanes and it's busy too and then there's an ambulance trying to come across from the opposite direction. I am quiet for now to let the driver concentrate, but once we are out of the complex situation, we resume discussion.

      Fragment:

      Bins and recycling are being collected. I forgot to put things out? And I try to do it then seeing as I still think they're about to collect it. But I don't see the collecting hi-vis people anymore by the time I get outside. Some other people are here, they are looking through bags. They tell me they are from some charity, they mention it by name. I forget what we talk about but I recall they were looking for clothes primarily.

      Notes:
      - Both sections of the longer dream relate to home in some way. Present home, past home and past-would-be home, I feel.
      - The apprehension about the neighbour walking the dog may stem from the fact that lately dogs seem to have taken a liking to our door for doing their needs.
      - Somewhat related, the part about re-decorating the house may
    7. ccxxiv. Notes, Discord, Village

      by , 02-12-2021 at 01:12 PM
      10th February 2021

      Notes:


      Haven't made much effort to recall, though initial recall was decent. Lately I've still been struggling to get up, but managed to get up at quarter past ten today.

      Dream vividness has been a bit lower I think, though I can't say with certainty, possibly because I haven't been taking Vitamin B so much after re-reading up on B6's half-life.

      Trying to not fall asleep again, my mind became distracted with random drawing ideas for my characters. Part of my issue at the moment seems to be I can't manage to feel compelled to record anything in the morning, possibly made worse by the fact I'm not getting up at what I'd consider a "good time". Partly sunny this morning.

      12th February 2021

      Fragments:

      Bit about Discord. V sends me a message about some video, but the video link isn't on the private message, it's on my server. I think I wonder why he did this.

      I check out the video; it shows what I in the dream assume to be his school, a high school? My presence enters the video. In a classroom, there's some kind of exercise about characters drawn on the chalkboard and they resemble Pokemon or something. Recall is too vague.

      Another bit, outside in a town or village with H. We're getting in our out of the van. I remember narrow pavement and cobbled roads as well as a certain hilliness; it has a feel of my native country. Something political but entirely fictional happens in this dream segment; recall details are gone.
    8. Car dream where mom was really controlling and snippy

      by , 02-04-2021 at 05:10 AM
      I had the car dream set at granddads house again last night for the second night in a row. Like the dream I had the night before, it was really physically and emotionally uncomfortable. In the dream last night, mom was also really snippy and controlling.

      When mom told me to go ahead and get in granddads car and buckle to the front middle seat, as soon as I tried to argue about sitting in the middle and getting in the car before she was ready to go she snapped at me and told me that I could either get in the car and buckle in the middle of the front seat or I would be grounded.

      When mom finally got in the car and was trying to get it started after my sister and I had to wait for her for what felt like forever, she kept getting in my face and telling me that I needed to calm down. I never even said anything to her before she started telling me to calm down.

      When she discovered I stepped in dog poop, she screamed at me about not watching where I was stepping and not checking my shoe when I noticed the car stunk. She told me to give her my shoe so she could clean it and for me to stay buckled in my seat.

      After the battery went dead after she got back in, as I was asking if I could get out she snapped at me again and told me that me and my sister needed to stay in the car. I woke-up from the dream while she was looking for a jump start.

      Not sure why she was so snippy and controlling in this dream, but it made me fell even more uncomfortable.
    9. Car dream where I felt like I was squished in the middle

      by , 02-03-2021 at 05:19 AM
      I had another car dream last night set at granddads house. This is the first time I have had once since last week, and was the longest I have been without any since the dream started a few weeks ago.

      The dream last night followed the same pattern as the others I have had recently. The main change I noticed in last nights dreams from the earlier ones was that it was much more uncomfortable riding in the middle than in any of the other ones and it was really bothering me and getting me on edge that my mom and sister were both pressed-up against me and seemed to be repeatedly invading my space while I was stuck between them.

      While my sister and I were in the car waiting on mom to come out and get in, I could always feel her body pressed up against my right side. She repeatedly would put her head on my shoulder and her face right my mine. When I kept trying to get her to stop talking about granddad and how he was near death, she wrapped her arm around me so I couldn't ignore her and kept getting right in my face.

      When mom finally got in the car, I had her body pressed-up against my left side and my sister pressed-up against my right and I felt really squished. While she was trying to get the car started, both she and my sister kept invading my space telling me I needed to calm down, which just made me feel more trapped and on edge while I was stuck between them.

      When mom discovered I had dog poop on my shoe, I first had to deal with her getting in my face and getting after me for stepping in it and not noticing it while my sister was in my other ear talking about how gross it was and how bad it smelled. I had to keep dealing with her invading my space and whining about how bad it stunk while we waited in the car for mom to clean my shoe.

      When mom got back in the car, and I though she had finally been able to get the car started she leaned in front of me to adjust the mirrors while my sister invaded my space to change the radio to her favorite FM station and then started singing along to the song playing. I felt really uncomfortable having both of them in my personal space.

      I woke up for them dream right after mom discovered the car had cut off when nothing happened when the put it in gear and pressed down on the accelerator. My sister was leaning into my space while mom was turning the key and nothing was happening.

      I think this was definitely the most uncomfortable I have felt riding in the middle in any of the dreams I have ever had and really felt that I had no personal space and was squished between my mom and sister.
    10. Another night with the new car dream

      by , 01-26-2021 at 04:40 AM
      I had the car dream that I have started having again last night. The things I remember most from last nights dream were arguing with mom when she told me to go get in the car and when the car had the dead battery.

      When mom told me to get in the car and buckle-up in the middle, I first tried to argue about sitting in the middle trying to explain to mom that my sister could handle the middle better than me since she was younger/shorter/smaller than me but mom snapped at me that is was my sisters day to choose her seat today and that I got to have the font seat in her car yesterday and would get to choose my seat again tomorrow. When I then tried to explain that it would be really embarrassing for me to have to ride between them she told me that was the craziest thing she had ever heard and that she was sure no-one would noticed how we were seated.

      I then tried to talk mom into letting me and my sister go to the park that was a few blocks away rather than waiting in the car for her. I tried to convince her that this would be a better idea and that she could just come to the park and pick us up whenever she was done at granddads. She told me that she didn't think this was a good idea because she wasn't sure how much longer before she would be done and that the park was not on our way home. I kept trying to convince her to let us go to the park until she finally got tired of hearing it and got in my face and reminded me that she was in charge and that I was to get in granddads car and buckle-up in the middle seat now. She said she couldn't understand why I was making such a big deal about riding in the middle and waiting in the car, but that I needed to get a better attitude. I then went out and got in the car.

      While waiting with my sister, I remember she kept wanting for us to talk about granddad and share our feelings about him being sick and in the nursing home. I kept trying to get her to talk about something else, but this was all she wanted to talk about and the kept brining it up again whenever I tried to change the subject and kept trying to get me to share my feelings which I did not want to do.

      Once mom finally got in the car, I remember she was really snippy when she discovered the car had cut off when she tried to put it in gear. When I tried to keep telling her I thought the car was in drive and needed to be put in park in order for it to start, she would snap at me and get in my face and tell me to calm down, that she was doing the best she could. I kept trying to tell her this is why nothing was happening when she turned the key, but this just made her more frustrated and she ignored what I was trying to tell her.

      When the battery went dead after mom discovered the car was out of gear and tried to start it once she put it in park. I kept trying to talk her into letting me and my sister get out of the car while she looked for a jump start. I woke-up from this dream while mom was in my face telling me that she was in charge and that me and my sister were to stay buckled-up in the car. She was making it clear that I would not like what would happen if I did not do what she wanted me to do.

      In this dream, I really felt a lack of control as no matter what I tried to suggest or ask for I was stuck buckled to the middle of the front seat of granddads car.
    11. New vivid/recurring dream where I am riding between my sister and mom in granddads old car

      by , 01-24-2021 at 05:43 PM
      Over the last week, I have had some new vivid dreams involving me riding in granddads reliant with my mom and my sister. These dreams are different than the ones I was having last year as these are set at granddads house after he had to go to a nursing home and mom was trying to get his house ready to sell. These take place when I was 14 years old, about a year before the dreams I was having last year which were set in my parentís driveway the spring after granddad died. Like the earlier dreams these appear to be a stuck dream that always follows the same chain of events.

      The dreams I have had so far start with me playing in the backyard of granddads house. The yard looks just like I remember it looking when he had to go to the nursing home. Everything looked really overgrown and unkept rather than perfectly manicured since he had been too sick to keep up with it for a while.

      Eventually mom walks out of granddads back door and calls for me and tells me I to go ahead an get in granddads reliant. I ask why we are taking the reliant home since I thought Dad was picking us up, and she said he has a meeting and she had been wanting to move the reliant to our house anyway. I asked her how we could all fit in the reliant since she had the back seat loaded full of stuff and she reminded me it could fit 3 in the front seat and told me I was riding in the middle since it was my sister day to choose her seat and she wanted to be by the window. I asked if I could keep playing in the yard until she and my sister were ready to go and she snapped at me that she needed us out of her way for a little while and wanted me in the car NOW. That my sister would be right behind me and I needed to get in first since I was in the middle.

      As I walk towards the car, mom reminds me to buckle-up. I then walk through the front yead to the tan reliant that was covered in pollen and parked on the street in front of granddads house. I open the passenger side door and the sat down on the tan vinyl bench seat and then close the passenger side door and slide over to the middle seat and fasten the tan lap belt around my waist.

      As I sit in the car, I noticed that something really sinks but figure itís either all of the stuff that mom had loaded into the back seat or that the car had been sitting for several weeks. It is really in pleasant waiting in the car, in addition to the unpleasant odor itís really uncomfortable in the middle because the lap belt was snugly against my hips and my feet were stuck on the bump in the middle and my knees were bumping the a/c controls. I am mad mom is making me ride there since my sister is smaller than me and could get by better with less room.

      After I had been waiting for a few minutes, my sister is walking down granddads front walk towards the car. She had the same hairstyle I remember her having at that time when she was 10 years old and is always wearing a pink dress and tan sandals she liked to wear back then. She opens the passenger side door and then sits down in the passenger seat then closes the door and buckles her seat belt. Itís even more uncomfortable waiting with her in the car, because her body was now pressed against mine.

      We then have to spend what seemed like forever in the car waiting for mom to come-out. It seems like we have to wait a lot longer than we did in the dreams I was having last year at it was probably around 45 minutes to possibly an hour and is really unpleasant. While we sit and wait my sister always alternates talking about how bad the car smells and accuses me of tooting; rubbing it in that she got to choose the window seat and I was stuck in the middle; and wanting talk about how she fells about granddad being sick and dying and trying to get me to share my feelings on it. I try to change the subject whenever she talks about granddad, because it was too upsetting for me to think about or discuss but she just keeps bring it up again and again. She also keeps putting her head on my shoulder and smiling in my face while stretching her feet onto the glove box. I am super bored waiting for mom and kept focusing on my sisters sandals being the same color tan as the floor matts and glove box and blending in with them; the reflection of me and my sister on the windshield and passenger side window an how embarrassed it makes me feel that I was so much taller than her yet she is by the window and I am in the middle; and people walking their dogs down the street and hoping none of them saw me and my sister waiting in the car and noticed the embarrassing seating arrangement.

      Finally, after what seemed like FOREVER, my sister says ďI see mommy comingĒ and then turned my head to see mom locking the front door of granddads house and then walking around the back of the car to put something in the trunk. She closes the truck and then goes to talk to someone across the street from us. Eventually she unlocks the driver side door and then sits down in the driver seat on my left. I feel her body pressed against mine as she put the key in the ignition and then reaches behind me to put her purse in the back seat. I heard the annoying buzzing sound until she closes the driver side door. I felt really squished between my mom and sister with both of them rubbing against me.

      Mom thens turn the key to start the car but it doesnít want to start-up and after each failed crank there is the annoying buzzing sound and red lights on the dash. I get really uncomfortable being stuck between my mom and sister while mom keeps trying to start the car and it becomes obvious it is going to take a while. I start asking mom if I can get out. She just ignores me until eventually, she snapps at me and gets in my face and screams at me that I need to calm down; that she is doing the best she could; that if it wonít start itís not a big deal because dad could pick us up on his way home; and that I WILL stay buckled in my seat until she tells me I can get out.

      After she turns her attention back to trying to get the car started, she also notices that something really stinks in the car. My sister tells her that I have been pooting and I try to explain that it smelled before I got in. Mom says it smells like poo to her and tells me to check my shoes. I check them and discover I stepped in something. I ask my sister to let me out so I can clean them, but mom gets in my face and yells at me about stepping in poo and tells me to give it to her and she will clean it for me. I try to tell her I would rather get out and clean it myself so she can keep trying to start the car, but she snaps at me again and reminds me she is in charge and that she wants me to stay buckled in my seat. She is in my face telling me I need to calm down and have a better attitude when she gets back to the car as I take off my shoe and give it to her.

      She then gets out and closes me and my sister back in the car while she disappears back into granddads house with me shoe. As I sit and wait in the car with my sister, she is telling me how gross it is that I stepped in poo and is now just whining about how bad the car smells and asking me why I didnít check my shoes when I noticed something smelled before she even got it. I have to listen to this until we see mom walking back towards the car.

      When mom opens the driver side door, she hands me a wet paper towel and tell me to wipe down the bump I had my feet on with it and then hands me my shoe she has cleaned after I give her the paper towel back. She then goes to put the paper towel in granddads trash can while I put my shoe back on.

      Soon she is opening the driver side door again and then sitting back down in the driver seat. She starts pumping on the accelerator and turning the key. After several more cranks with the car not starting and hearing the annoying buzzing sound and seeing the dash illuminated with red lights, mom is finally able to get the reliant started. My sister immediately leans in front of me to change the radio from an AM news station to her favorite FM station and then turns up the volume and starts singing along to the song on the radio while mom is leaning over me to adjust the rearview mirror and then the passenger side mirror. It is really uncomfortable having them both in my space and itís annoying having to hear my sister sing along to the radio.

      Once mom has everything adjusted, she pulls the shift lever to put the car in drive but nothing happens when she presses on the accelerator. She checks to make sure the parking brake is not on and then reaches in front of me and turns of the radio and discovers the car knocked off. She starts trying to turn the key, but nothing happens except the buzzing sound and red lights on the dash. I notice the car is still in park and try to tell mom, but she snaps at me that she is doing the best she can and I need to calm down so she can concentrate on starting the car.

      After several more cranks, she discovers that the car is out of gear like a tried to tell her earlier. She snaps at me again when I remind her I had tried to tell her earlier. She puts the car back in park and tries to get it started again. This time, the battery sounds weak and after a few cranks, the car just makes a rattling sound and the buzzing and red lights on the dash are fainter than they really are.

      I reach to undo my seat belt, but mom snaps at me again and tells me that she is going to see if one of granddads neighbors can give us a jump start and says she wants me and my sister to stay buckled in the car. I usually wake up from the dream either arguing with mom about her wanting me to stay buckled in the car of after she has gotten out to look for a jump start. I do not know if she is able to find a jump start or if it works and we are able to drive the reliant home.

      As these dreams have progressed I seem to be arguing with mom more about her wanting me to sit in the middle, wait in the car, and buckle-up when I get in. When I try to argue with her, she just gets angry and more assertive that she is in control/in charge and that I am to do what she says. So far, my arguing has not worked as mom always makes me go and get in the middle seat and buckle-up.

      I am also trying to get more assertive about trying to get mom to let me out of the car when she is having trouble starting it, when she discovers I stepped in dog poop, and when the batter dies. However, this just makes her angry and she doubles down on her being in charge and that I am to stay buckled in my seat.

      In these new dreams, I find riding in the middle much more uncomfortable both physically and emotionally than I did in the dreams I had last winter. In those dreams, it was like I was along for the ride and in these dreams I want to be anywhere other than riding in the middle of the front seat of granddads reliant. I feel physically uncomfortable because of the seatbelt fitting snug on my hips; my feet being stuck on the hump; my knees bumping again the a/c controls; and my sister and then mom being pressed-up against me. I feel emotionally uncomfortable because I find it really embarrassing that I am in the middle riding between my mom and my younger/shorter/smaller sister. It also makes me fell really uncomfortable being squished between them and not having any personal space.

      If this dream keeps happening, I will try to start journaling changes I notice each time I have it to see if it starts moving in some other direction.
    12. ccxiii.

      by , 01-20-2021 at 03:54 PM
      20th January 2021

      Fragment:


      I am at a house much like H's old home. I am playing with W, the cat? He wants to go out but I want to touch his fluffy fur and eventually I do open a back door to the house and let him out. He hesitates and I prod him sort of gently with my boot. It's sunny outside. The grass is what I can only describe as a perfect colour and the back garden slopes uphill. I see someone arriving in a silver car, a woman. I look down but pretend I didn't see her arrive as I close the back door.

      She knocks and I reluctantly (?) answer. I have this feeling she just wants to sell something or whatever.

      Rest of recall is too fuzzy. But at least two or three separate instances of talking to people or answering the door where they aren't wearing a mask, and neither am I. On each encounter, there's a weird physical tangle, as if they fall forwards onto me, like they've tripped on something and on some level, all of this puts me on edge.

      One of those other instances takes place at our current home. Outside looks different but I can't quite place it anymore. It's also day time. A delivery from a truck or lorry? Interactions/dialogue with H at some point.
    13. Golfing

      by , 01-15-2021 at 07:45 AM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      I'm with dad William and John and we are playing some kind of golf but with bigger iron balls. Dad is giving William some piece of advice about not shooting too hard. William is really good and gets it just right. It's John's turn and he ruins William's ball and shoots it away with his own ball even though they are on the same team. John is sorry but William says it's okay. John accidentally shoots William's ball away again.

      Me and dad are driving a car with some problems.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    14. cxcix. Artistic "success", Helping a congregation/church, Cloaking vans

      by , 12-20-2020 at 02:57 AM
      17th December 2020

      Fragment:

      (left too long because of little opportunity to write)

      First bit. Looking at one of my art(ist) profiles. I feel sort of amazed, I have just over 250 people watching my profile, apparently.

      Another bit, in some church, near the end of a dream. I'm helping some women, mostly in their 50s and so on. They eventually tell me I can't be allowed to join their group officially as it is for women only but they tell me that because I helped them they can however offer me an honorific title or position.

      I feel pleased or satisfied, though I can't remember if I accept, but they seem happy either way too.

      19th December 2020


      Fragment:


      In the car with H. We're driving along some bendy and somewhat narrow road in an industrial estate-like place. Some van "uncloaks" in front of us at a corner. H is upset and surprised by this.

      Earlier bit; (recall faded too much) something about a large area of land owned by someone and cities on it. A mountain and atop it some castle? Night time. Lots of street/city lights in the distance. A semi mountainous region in general but a lot of water and rock outcroppings that are at least a couple of hundred stories tall, each.



      Notes:

      - Although I seem to remember the dreams from 17th of December were kind of long, the recalled portion has an interesting personal contrast between two worlds that are very different but are also very important to me.

      -- The profile watching count certainly comes from recent worries based off/around self-expectation.

      - The uncloaking van was certainly based off recently replaying through the Freelancer campaign but interestingly during the day there were at least two incidents with vans appearing a bit out of nowhere when we were on the road.

      Updated 12-20-2020 at 03:02 AM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
    15. cxcviii. Old town DOTA

      by , 12-20-2020 at 02:50 AM
      9th December 2020

      Fragment:

      Some bits in the car with H. I remember it was night time. Vague recall relating to something BL-like too. (location recall faded and dream not visually present in my mind anymore)

      13th December 2020

      Dream:

      I am in some town, it is day time but nearly sunset. There's some downward ramp bit which leads out of town but there's a fence at the end of the ramp and I recognise this as being some kind of little construction supplies area. There's nobody around? (rest of this first dream bit recall had faded)

      Then I am in my old town. It seems kind of dark and I'm walking up the avenue next to the church but I'm on the road itself, not the pavement. Not a night sky, just a black one. (like in a recent previous dream)

      Things are RPG-like I note, and I spot some enemy players coming from the opposite way, toward me and from two opposing ends of the roundabout at the top. It starts to feel like DOTA and the view becomes more top-down too.

      I try to lure one of these enemy players over to my side/area and I make sure to stay at a certain distance from them (interface perception of attack ranges?). I sense an allied player is nearby too. Me and one of the enemies stun each other simultaneously and then the other enemy player comes in. I get the first one nearly dead kind of quickly but I too am near death and so I wonder why my ally isn't or hasn't been helping me fight.

      Friendly mobs come around from "behind" and I get the first enemy player killed, I'm very, very nearly dead and I retreat away. My ally finally joins in and distracts the second enemy.

      I get to our main base and am thinking about how my HP regeneration is so slow and how I should (could) improve my strength stat to better this. I remember thinking or noticing that I didn't buy any of the usual starting items like I should have, not even tango or branch.
    Page 1 of 61 1 2 3 11 51 ... LastLast