• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. Golfing

      by , Yesterday at 07:45 AM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      I'm with dad William and John and we are playing some kind of golf but with bigger iron balls. Dad is giving William some piece of advice about not shooting too hard. William is really good and gets it just right. It's John's turn and he ruins William's ball and shoots it away with his own ball even though they are on the same team. John is sorry but William says it's okay. John accidentally shoots William's ball away again.

      Me and dad are driving a car with some problems.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    2. cxcix. Artistic "success", Helping a congregation/church, Cloaking vans

      by , 12-20-2020 at 02:57 AM
      17th December 2020

      Fragment:

      (left too long because of little opportunity to write)

      First bit. Looking at one of my art(ist) profiles. I feel sort of amazed, I have just over 250 people watching my profile, apparently.

      Another bit, in some church, near the end of a dream. I'm helping some women, mostly in their 50s and so on. They eventually tell me I can't be allowed to join their group officially as it is for women only but they tell me that because I helped them they can however offer me an honorific title or position.

      I feel pleased or satisfied, though I can't remember if I accept, but they seem happy either way too.

      19th December 2020


      Fragment:


      In the car with H. We're driving along some bendy and somewhat narrow road in an industrial estate-like place. Some van "uncloaks" in front of us at a corner. H is upset and surprised by this.

      Earlier bit; (recall faded too much) something about a large area of land owned by someone and cities on it. A mountain and atop it some castle? Night time. Lots of street/city lights in the distance. A semi mountainous region in general but a lot of water and rock outcroppings that are at least a couple of hundred stories tall, each.



      Notes:

      - Although I seem to remember the dreams from 17th of December were kind of long, the recalled portion has an interesting personal contrast between two worlds that are very different but are also very important to me.

      -- The profile watching count certainly comes from recent worries based off/around self-expectation.

      - The uncloaking van was certainly based off recently replaying through the Freelancer campaign but interestingly during the day there were at least two incidents with vans appearing a bit out of nowhere when we were on the road.

      Updated 12-20-2020 at 03:02 AM by 95293

      Categories
      dream fragment , side notes , non-lucid
    3. cxcviii. Old town DOTA

      by , 12-20-2020 at 02:50 AM
      9th December 2020

      Fragment:

      Some bits in the car with H. I remember it was night time. Vague recall relating to something BL-like too. (location recall faded and dream not visually present in my mind anymore)

      13th December 2020

      Dream:

      I am in some town, it is day time but nearly sunset. There's some downward ramp bit which leads out of town but there's a fence at the end of the ramp and I recognise this as being some kind of little construction supplies area. There's nobody around? (rest of this first dream bit recall had faded)

      Then I am in my old town. It seems kind of dark and I'm walking up the avenue next to the church but I'm on the road itself, not the pavement. Not a night sky, just a black one. (like in a recent previous dream)

      Things are RPG-like I note, and I spot some enemy players coming from the opposite way, toward me and from two opposing ends of the roundabout at the top. It starts to feel like DOTA and the view becomes more top-down too.

      I try to lure one of these enemy players over to my side/area and I make sure to stay at a certain distance from them (interface perception of attack ranges?). I sense an allied player is nearby too. Me and one of the enemies stun each other simultaneously and then the other enemy player comes in. I get the first one nearly dead kind of quickly but I too am near death and so I wonder why my ally isn't or hasn't been helping me fight.

      Friendly mobs come around from "behind" and I get the first enemy player killed, I'm very, very nearly dead and I retreat away. My ally finally joins in and distracts the second enemy.

      I get to our main base and am thinking about how my HP regeneration is so slow and how I should (could) improve my strength stat to better this. I remember thinking or noticing that I didn't buy any of the usual starting items like I should have, not even tango or branch.
    4. cxcvii. A painting I protect, a walk through town and a dark gothic place.

      by , 12-12-2020 at 02:46 PM
      7th December 2020

      Very fragmented:

      Me and H were getting some pipes out of an organ. It was a rank supposedly, but actually it can't have been more than an octave.

      Pipes were semi-stopped? With some blue felt inside the top to achieve this.

      Some other bit, something about water in a container; it looks odd inside. I drink some (why?) but it has weird fibres floating in it. I try to search online about it.

      But then we pour the water out on the floor and it's revealed that the fibres were half parasite things; they moved but incredibly slowly. Later I sweat them out through my thighs and I decide to use a H2O2 spray to kill them all and almost bathe myself in it too so it soaks into me and kills any remaining inside my body. I have doubts about what I'm doing and what is going on.

      At a mansion place, I'm with my family here. We're guests to some friend of dad. I remember paintings hanging on the walls. There are stone or white wood ballustrades and there's no ceiling or it's made of glass. The host eventually becomes very surprised when he learns (from a servant?) how much it had cost him to accommodate all of us here.

      An unknown man comes in, he's wearing a dulled red jumpsuit. He is a thief, I quickly observe but I allow him to continue and I say nothing. I do not dislike our host but yet I allow this thief to steal from him.

      But when he tries to steal a painting with strange colouring patterns on it, with the figure of a woman in a white-ish dress, I let him get away with it for a while before I start following him. I follow him into a corridor and jump on him and tell him he absolutely cannot take this painting because it's special to me. I think I'm angry? I ask him to take anything else except for this painting. I tell him that there are many other paintings in this big house and that many are by famous artists and can fetch far better prices on a black market.

      I have some feeling the painting is about my cousin T, but there was nothing identifiable on it that would indicate this. The visual recall is too vague.

      Then, we're all leaving. I am more wary about the thief now but allow him to continue with his subtleties. I see mom and my sibling T and three others from the family, squeezed inside a white or silver Peugeot. I don't notice which is side the driver is on. I try to find the car I'm supposed to get in, but I can't find it.

      Eventually I'm just walking around a town with dad and some more family. It's sunny, with a few clouds. Distant mountains kind of like where I live now, but sharper contours? But otherwise the area looks more like my native country even though it is a dream-generated place. In the distance I also see a thin but very tall smoke stack.

      Dad tells me this stack is for the purpose of "releasing the excess gas from the dormant volcano", and he refers to the volcano by name but I lost the recall of that name.

      We all cross a street at a crossing, except dad, who goes into an open manhole, with a warm orange glow coming out of it. I look in and there's a vertical climbing pole at the centre of it and it seems to go down a very long way, it's bright inside but a saturated orange dominates. I tell the rest I'll lag behind so that dad can catch up with us. I am across the road and there's some kind of cafe on this side. The rest of the family go in and through the cafe and out again on another side.

      (recall gap)

      Mix of several RPGs and reality. I kill a mob pack referencing something to Lord of the Rings. A unique and unidentified teal rarity ring drops and there's some kind of interface overlay even though I'm in first person.

      It's some kind of occult void ring. It distorts reality around it and I put it on, on my right hand I think. I'm in a room with pews, gothic windows and some kind of statues too maybe. Everything becomes dark except outside through the windows still seems bright, if dull. There's some kind of wind that I can't feel, but can see. Objects like the pews leave a trailing ghostly effect, with a dark, dark red after-shadow-image.

      I go to a piano. I realise there's two time limits now that I see at a top/central position of some UI. I was supposed to do something on the piano and don't manage to open some kind of secret passage in time.

      Then there's a cutscene about an ogre and a witch. There's animosity between the characters and there's an extreme distance between the two. Some dialogues? He loses all the will he had to kill her for some reason but still he rampages forward. While watching, I make note of the fact that there's some gold piled up in the side of some rooms as the ogre goes through these large underground gothic halls.



      Notes:

      - The ogre and the witch were very stereotypical in their representations.

      - The woman's painting had a dark background that contrasted her brighter dress. The painting had a rainbow-like spotty pattern all over it, like light scattering or something. It's similar to an idea I've had for painting but I haven't been able to attempt it properly.

      - Before falling asleep, I tried doing this active imagination thing and I remember getting a bit lost or carried away in it, especially as it made me get closer to falling asleep.

      - The smoke stack is like one where I live but it was taller than that; I'm not sure what the volcano thing could be about.
    5. cxciv. Through the forest with an ally

      by , 11-29-2020 at 10:27 PM
      29th November 2020

      Fragment:

      Some part about being in a car with dad and he had an accident or something and then stuff repeated itself. I think it was mostly a light collision but I lost the details.

      (recall gap)

      Another part where I'm cooperatively going around with another dream character (male, stronger?) and we need to reach some kind of extraction point but while avoiding a military presence that's nearby. There was an APC on a hill or bridge and some kind of gunship.

      I remember deviating from the straight trajectory we were on and finding a flatbed with a rocket turret mounted on the flat bit and used the turret to shoot the gunship down or whatever it was. I had a temporary cloaking buff that prevented my detection.

      This part had started off on top of a green-ish hilly type area. Then nearing the extraction point with the military presence there was a forest but there were lots of orange tones, dead leaves and leafless trees. Daytime all the way throughout.

      Then I carried on and met up with the other dream character I was originally with, we were in some city area not far. Grey-ish and concrete-y. There were pits? Some green liquid at the bottom of the pits. Vague recall of tall buildings and cracked foundations and cracked streets, which was where these pits or ravines were. I remember a cage at some point. Either I got stuck there or the other character did.

      There was more to the dream but I took too long to start writing and forgot too many details despite the relatively vivid details of the dream.



      Notes:

      - This dream was originally quite long. Recall has actually not been particularly poor lately, but my DJing has been lacking, mostly because I have been waking up too tired and lethargic and so if I do start writing the recall is usually fading or gone. Also often by the point I realise I could have written something down, I have already slept again since the initial recall or have simply not bothered because it has felt too tiring to try.

      - The area where dad was driving was thematically similar to the remainder of the dream.
    6. clxxix. Protecting a minister and film called "The End"

      by , 10-13-2020 at 06:36 PM
      12th October 2020

      Fragment:

      Somewhere in China. I was helping some kind of cabinet minister or something. I think I was his bodyguard and for some part of the dream we were in a silver car; the minister was the driver.

      I was constantly on the lookout for potential threats. Vague recall of having a weapon. I remember an underground area, a mix of some metro station I know (grey, dingy) and an underground car park or something.

      Most recall faded, but by the end of this dream sequence I was in a kind of transition where I was in my native country, in the capital or somewhere like it and near the water. On one of the quays? Something about catching a train.

      Some family members were there and I was trying to be the last one to get on the train to make sure nobody got separated. T and her sister were there.

      Not sure what part of the dream, but at some point I was selling guns, shotguns?

      13th October 2020

      Fragment:

      Dream about a film, called "The End", which was apparently the first in a series. There's a group of four people and they have to stop the four horsemen at the breaking of the last seal. There's some narrating? Not sure: "But what if one of the people, the wizard, didn't make it on time? What would you do?"

      This bit seems to be a replay of a previous dream section but with altered details. Vague visual recall of seeing the last seal break, implying the group failed.

      Before this, I was a child or teenager. I saw my reflection, of my younger self, on a metal blade of some kind.

      I had inherited a large wooden instrument from some African music player. I recall now the instrument looked exactly like a wooden organ pipe, but with tribal decorative patterns painted on it. (recently made a joke to H about one of these sounding like a didgeridoo)

      It was apparently up to me to find someone who would take on this instruments legacy, or I could take it on myself.

      I remember while I was younger I had to train weapon skills (vague recall of panel like classic WoW skills) and I was going to be training my unarmed skill, so I was going to spar with someone my age.

      Something about needing saturated fat first though, and eating some cereal rich in it and other stuff.

      There was a barge too... Maybe we were on it? Recall faded too much.

      Even earlier than this in the dream, dad and I in the middle of a city, like the capital. He'd left his car in a lane and we were on the pavement talking, but I get the feeling he'd left the car open, like he/we were getting back in soon.



      Notes:

      - I never used to have dreams about my younger self. But it seems they are starting to appear more often. I have an inkling as to why but I can't be certain and it's a bit complex.

      Too tired at the moment to make other notes on some stuff. Need to remember to edit this later.
    7. 6 Oct: Crime in the Arctic Circle

      by , 10-06-2020 at 10:32 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening astral projection

      I am a detective with a colleague working on a case somewhere in the Arctic Circle, on a small community. It's freezing hell and locals found a body near the coast. We try to collect some evidence, but the body is completely frozen and we can't do shit and nobody seems available to pick it up to the morgue. Then someone warns us of a polar bear coming towards us and we have to run. The bear goes to the corpse with the intention of eating it, we try to scare him away but then a pack of wolves comes from another direction and we just have to give up. Next day we find bits and pieces of the corpse, like an arm and a foot.

      Later on I am somewhere in Africa visiting some friends, but on arriving at their place, I encounter dozens of lions and lionesses either roaming around or lying down in groups here and there. I jump inside a car that is parked just outside their house and call out to someone. But their door is open and I fear the worst. I drive around and find more people I know and bring them in safely into the car. We are packed like sardines and some lions get more aggressive, so we get out of there.

      Updated 10-12-2020 at 08:30 PM by 34880

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment
    8. 4 Oct: Stories around actors and actresses

      by , 10-04-2020 at 08:12 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening astral projection

      I accidentally get cast for the pilot episode of some tv show. It goes well but the whole team finds out some illegality from the studio or producers and take them to court. We win the legal battle and get a millionaire compensation. But the whole project is disbanded and started from scratch by a new team and a new cast. We meet the new cast and it is full of legends, living and dead, like John Wayne.

      An article on a magazine about this portuguese actress who is a fascist and everybody hates. It says she got rich from selling some ideas to television or something, but I get insider info that she might have committed fraud and some person wants to show me the proof. My cousin Jo„o M. is driving me in a car along my friend Vera, my aunt Lisa and someone else. We stop at a club right after the exit of a highway to meet this person who is then taking us along in its own car. Jo„o asks his mom to let him stay at the club while we go wherever we're going, but she says "no way". We tell her to let him, because he is almost a man and he needs to grow up, but we also warn him about the dangers and tell him to keep an eye, particularly on cougars who might hit on him.

      With a study group at a library, one of the girls looks exactly like Emilia Clarke and I tell her that she'll be famous in the future. Everybody looks at me with strangeness and I tell them not to freak out ,but that I know stuff that will happen in the future and know that she will be the main character of a famous tv series that will be on the air for years. The girl first thinks I am insane but then starts liking the idea. But then I remember to ask her name and she is called Sofia Alves and I am like "oops". So then not to give her false expectations I tell her I am kidding and that she is actually just the doppelgšnger of that actress. But now she doesn't believe me as she is totally convinced I was telling the truth at first and she doesn't want the fantasy destroyed.
    9. clxxiii. Useless throttle, Art-cluttered room, Apocalypse

      by , 10-01-2020 at 10:06 PM
      1st October 2020

      Dream:

      In the van with H. For some reason, some part stopped transmitting power (to or from the engine). The drive shaft? Not sure, but it was still rolling and the engine itself was still going. But the van was only rolling (uphill, somehow) and couldn't accelerate, the throttle did nothing. We were rolling at about 40 in the middle of a town. H put on some hazard lights and other things and steered gently into a side bit stopped the van.

      Then something about a vest he had to put on and I was attaching some untinged leather straps to velcro bits? Two other people were here and we were talking to them. They were the ones that told H to put the vest on?

      One of these people was an artist and I don't remember what was said exactly, but I turned around at some point and now faced an alcove-type bit and all my paintings were there. I remember mentioning that there really weren't that many (I felt) but this small room still looked cluttered by them.

      Dream:

      Not sure how it started but some random character was the centre of it all now and there was this "ending of the world" thing going on. Some brightly coloured spheres went up in the air and then different things started happening but I forgot the details. I do remember some people and all their stuff, inside their houses, would get sucked/warped through reality into some kind of dimensional containers. I remember having a feel as if I could control some of what was going on, through a console? But otherwise I was not directly present or involved.

      Then some other part after it's all over. There's two anthropomorphic mice and they are wearing motorcycle-gang type leather outfits. They are talking to each other and one of them has a coin about half his size. It's supposedly a 30 cent coin from the USA but he mentions it would be worth several hundred now after everything that had happened. The coin was shiny. There was a filmic or cartoony characteristic to this scene, but I think it otherwise looked realistic.

      At some other bit in the middle of a ruined city. I feel more present in this section. I think something about how things didn't need to have turned out like this. I think to myself that if people had been more sensible, even with what was happening, there would be more to return to, or something to this effect. Neo or someone like him is here. He has a mobile phone and there are other people and there's now some kind of stigma (that I intuitively know about in the dream) about using this "old" technology and I remember a travelling section of the dream through or over the ruined city where nobody has guns or advanced technology but are all using improvised clubs.

      But this Neo character talks to someone using this mobile phone and the nearby characters get angry at him. He tries to be quick about it and tries to lose their attention? But the dream ends shortly after this I think.



      Notes:

      - I think the two mice were probably a reference to Biker Mice from Mars, a show which I did watch a bit of but not a lot, my siblings had watched more of it, I think. But I haven't really thought about it in years.
      - My previous entry also featured motorcycles.
      - It's possible that it's just imaginative leaking from daily life, as a few times we've been going past signs that mention motorcycle accidents.
      - The transmission/power issue with the van was probably related to a discussion I had this week with H in the van, in waking life.
      - The second dream was particularly long, but I lost many details on waking, in part because of motivation issues though.
    10. clii. Classroom Tomb

      by , 09-03-2020 at 05:17 PM
      21st August 2020 (DFLN Thread)

      Fragment:

      In the van with H driving around. We go through some industrial estate or warehouse district. We see people being gutted as we drive past, but we aren't concerned. We just think it to be in poor taste or something. Some of the characters that are being gutted, I recognise them from earlier on in the dream, feeling no pity for them because they were nasty; but I still feel this looks like an undignified death.

      Fragment:

      Some version of WoW, but set in a realistic city of some sort, half fantasy, half not? With H, I was taking some area from the Horde and for the Alliance. I remember going on some sort of bombing run and seeing diagrams of the region. I remember the Horde outnumbered us by a great ratio.

      Dream:

      At the end of a dream I was in some kind of classroom, in a school. There was a teacher and there were several other pupils. The teacher was first giving some theory on something. Some things like hardware and software programming were mentioned. I have some awareness of being kind of lying down on my back, and next to something.

      Then we're about to do something. The teacher moves, and I sort of sit up now. I'd been lying next to an old limestone tomb. We're apparently going to open it and examine the dead's objects of burial. Someone moves the lid open and I look at another one of the pupils, a girl. They don't realise it'll wreak and I instantly move my head away and breathe out, fully expecting a foul odour. But as the lid is fully removed, while I do get a whiff of something, it's very faint.

      This struck me as odd, but in any case the rest of the pupils started carefully removing items and analysing them. Someone next to me takes a piece of clothing from some bony hands.

      The teacher notices that something is off? The dead apparently has some kind of shawl, with a Discord logo on it and she says that it's impossible, since the body had been buried hundreds of years ago. I myself did not notice or see any such logo.

      But this leads her to suspect that the body is more recent than previously thought and now when I look inside the tomb, I see a naked white man, with fine white-gold hair, sitting up. He looks pale or lifeless as expected, I seem to recall. The teacher touches the forehead of the body to inspect the temperature and see how "recent" it was.

      The dream ended here, the doorbell rang and I had to go answer the door.

      Updated 09-03-2020 at 05:25 PM by 95293

      Categories
      dream fragment , non-lucid
    11. Another strange dream about the Reliant set in the present

      by , 08-21-2020 at 03:46 AM
      I had another strange dream involving my mom, sister, and the Reliant last night. Like the dream the night before, this dream was a mix of past and present.

      The dream started in the baggage claim of the local airport where I live. It was late at night and my mom, sister, and me were waiting for our baggage after arriving from somewhere. I am pretty sure the dream took place in the present time as my mom and sister were both like they do now and we were all wearing face coverings along with the few other people we saw in the terminal.

      After waiting a little while longer, we started seeing our bags come over on the conveyer belt. I am not sure where we were arriving from, but I pulled a lot of stuff off of the belt. All 3 of us had large black rolling suitcases and my sister and I each had our set of golf clubs. My mom and sister each also had a tote bag an purse, and I had a laptop bag.

      Once we had everything, I got a luggage cart to help us get everything out to the car since mom said she had parked in the long term parking lot and it was a bit of a walk. I loaded everything I could onto the luggage cart and then pushed it out of the terminal following my mom and sister. As we were walking out, mom noticed a sign saying all parking tickets must be validated at the kiosk in the terminal and griped that she had left the ticket in the car and would have to go back into pay.

      We walked past the parking deck and eventually got to the long term lot where mom had parked. When we got there, I noticed granddad's old Tan Reliant at the far end facing us. As we walked towards it, I asked mom why she had driven it rather than her Tahoe and she explained she would rather leave the Reliant parked in the lot for several days exposed to the elements.

      When we got to the Reliant, mom unlocked and opened the passenger side door and then walked around to the back to unlock and open the trunk. As I walked around to the trunk, I noticed some changes to the Reliant from earlier dreams which included the back seat being clean and usable and bumper stickers on the rear bumper I had added when I drove the car in high school. It seemed like a later memory of the Reliant in this dream than the one I had in all the other dreams when I was 15.

      While I worked on trying to figure out the best way to load all of our stuff in the trunk, mom unlocked the driver side door and got the parking ticket off the dash. She expressed being relieved that it was right where she though she left it. She then grabbed her purse from the luggage cart and headed back to the terminal to pay the parking fees.

      After several tries at re-arranging things, I was finally able to get the 3 suitcases and all of our carry-on items into the trunk. I felt like I had really accomplished something as I closed the trunk until I looked down at the luggage cart and saw that our two golf bags were still on it. I then had a sinking feeling knowing the only way I could get everything to fit in the car would be to put the golf clubs in the back seat and have all 3 of us ride up front. My sister was distracted in the front seat looking at her phone and never noticed me putting the golf clubs in the back seat.

      Once I had them in, I went to return the luggage cart to the appropriate place in the lot and then slowly walked back to the Reliant. When I got back, my sister was still sitting in the passenger seat looking at her phone and was zoned-out. I opened the door and asked her to scoot over. At first it didn't register what I was asking and then she gave me a strange look and something about she thought I was riding in the back seat. Once I explained about the golf clubs, she rolled her eyes and let out a loud groan and then unbuckled her seat belt and moved over to the middle seat. This was the first time in any of the car dreams I have had where I am riding by the window in the Reliant and my sister is riding in the middle.

      While we waited for mom to come out, my sister was griping about how stupid it was for mom to have driven the Reliant when her Tahoe would have had a lot more room for all of our luggage. I tried to sit as close to the window as possible so my sister could have her space, but there wasn't a lot of room. As I was getting ready to look at my phone, I looked through the windshield and saw mom walking through the parking lot towards us.

      When mom opened the driver side door, she told us that she had to go back to the terminal because she discovered she did not have her credit cards and remember she had put them in my sisters purse before going through security. She also asked why we were both up front and my sister snapped that the golf clubs wouldn't fit in the trunk and had to go in the back seat. Mom asked where my sisters purse was and I told her it was in the bottom of the trunk under the suitcases. Mom them closed the driver side door and walked around the the back and opened the trunk.

      While mom was still looking in the trunk, my sister unbuckled and then moved over towards the driver seat and said she needed to show mom where she had hidden the credit cards. She opened the driver side door, got out, and then closed it behind her. I was looking at my phone when I heard mom close the trunk and then saw my sister walking around the front of the car from the driver side to the passenger side. She then flung the passenger side door open and told me to scoot over to the middle. I woke-up from this dream as she was getting in the car, so I have no idea what happened after she got in. This was the first ever Reliant dream that ended before mom got back in the car and tried to start it up.

      Not sure if I am finally starting to figure out how to have control over these dreams or if I just moved out of that sleep cycle before it could go any further.
    12. Strange new dream in Reliant with my mom and sister

      by , 08-20-2020 at 03:37 AM
      I had a REALLY strange dream last night where I was riding between my mom and sister in granddad's old Reliant. This was the first time I have had any dream about this in over 5 months. What made this dream so strange was that is was set in the present time, but there were parts of the dream that incorporated memories of when I was 15.

      When the dream started, I was driving my Jaguar F Pace which is what I drive now. My girlfriend was in the front passenger seat and my mom and sister where riding in the back seat. We were definitely in the present day, because my face covering was handing from the rearview mirror and my girlfriend had hers on top of the glove box. I was driving all of us back to mom's house.

      When we were getting close to home, mom asked me to run her by the Gulf Station because she needed to pick-up the Reliant. I changed course and a few minutes later, I was pulling into the parking lot of the old Gulf Service Station where my parents used to have their cars serviced. As I turned in, I saw the Tan Reliant was backed into a parking space in the gravel lot in back facing out towards to gas pumps. Both the Reliant and the Gulf Station both looked exactly like I remembered them looking when I was a teen. When I looked in front of the station, I saw a line of people wearing face covering standing on X's 6 feet apart waiting to go in and pay. The station still had to old pumps I remember that did not give you the option of paying at the pump.

      As I pulled in, my girlfriend reminded me that she needed to run by the mall to pick-up some thing she had ordered and suggested I let her drive my SUV there and I ride home with my mom and sister. Since I really didn't want to deal with the mall, I agreed and got out and handed her my key fob. As she drove away, I walked towards the Reliant where my mom and sister were and discovered that I had left my face covering in my SUV.

      As I walked towards the Reliant, mom was pulling keys from her purse an unlocking the front passenger side door. She suggested my sister and I go ahead and get in the car while she went in to pay since the station was trying to encourage social distancing. She then opened the front passenger side door and then passed me walking toward the gas station to wait in line to pay while my sister stood beside the open door. I told her she could sit up from that I would be fine riding in the back seat.

      When I got to my sister, she rolled her eyes and pointed to the back seat telling me it was full of junk and we would all 3 have to squeeze in the front seat. I hesitated near the door waiting for my sister to get in and move over to the middle. While I was standing there waiting, my sister pointed to the tan vinyl bench seat and said "you're riding in the middle". I really did not want to have to ride in the middle, but didn't really feel like arguing with my sister and know we were only going a few miles and I would be riding between them for less than 10 minutes.

      I reluctantly leaned into the car and threw a box of tissues and umbrella that were in the middle of the front seat to the back seat and than sat down on the seat, scooted over to the middle, and buckled the tan lap belt around my waist. My sister then sat down beside me in the passenger seat, closed her door, and buckled her seatbelt.

      Not long after my sister closed her door, the car started to reek really bad. I looked through the windshield and saw that mom was still standing on and X out in the parking lot and knew there were still several people in front of her waiting to pay and that we would be waiting a while for mom.

      While we were in the car waiting, my sister kept talking non-stop. First she was talking about our dad who had passed way about a year ago and was trying to get me to share my feelings which made me really uncomfortable. As she kept on talking, I noticed her breath really reeked like it did in the earlier dreams and it was all I could to to avoid it. As my sister kept pressing me to share my feelings about dad's passing, I was finally able to change the subject by getting my sister to talk about some concerns I had about mom's wellbeing and staying safe during COVID. Because the line to pay was so long, my sister and I talked through several things while we waited for mom to get in the car. Since the conversation we were having was an important one, I was having an easier time dealing with her breath than I did when she was trying to get me to share my feelings about my dad.

      When I was talking to my sister about some of my concerns with mom, she poked my ribs with her elbow and told me mom was coming. I looked through the passenger side window and saw mom walking through the parking lot towards the Reliant. She got sidetracked for a little while when she saw a friend pulling up to a gas pump, but soon she was fumbling through her purse for the keys and then unlocking the driver side door, opening it up, and the sitting down in the empty driver seat on my left.

      Once she was seated, she put the black key in the ignition and the car made a buzzing sound until she closed her door. She then spent what seemed like forever getting all of the mirrors adjusted. As she was doing this right in front of me, I noticed that she was really starting to show some age. As she griped to me and my sister about how long the line was and how slow it moved, I got a whiff of her breath and noticed it smelled worse than my sisters did. I tried to speed things along telling my mom and sister we needed to get back to the house before my girlfriend got back from the mall since she didn't have a house key, but mom didn't get the hint and kept taking about the slow line.

      When mom was finally done adjusting the mirrors and talking about the wait to pay, she turned the black key in the ignition to start the car. The engine turned over several times but then was replaced by the annoying buzzing sound and a dash full of red lights. Mom turned the key a few more times, but each time the reliant didn't start up and I heard the buzzing sound and saw the red lights. I tried to suggest that we get someone at the Gulf Station to take a look at the car, but mom snapped at me that she could get it stated and didn't want to waste their time. She then started trying to pump on the accelerator before each crank, but the car still failed to start-up and I would hear the buzzing sound and see the red lights on the dash before mom again would try to pump on the accelerator and then turn the key. I started worrying that my girlfriend would get back to mom's house before mom could get the car started and snapped out of the dream while I was focusing more on what would happen if my girlfriend got to the house before us and less on mom trying to start the dream.

      This dream was really unusual because it was a combination of the present and the past. The dream took place in the current time with us living in the COVID world. However, the Reliant was just like it was when I was 15 and the Gulf Station looked just like I remember it looking as a teen. In real life, my parents got rid of the Reliant after I graduated high school and go a new car and the Gulf Station was torn down several years ago and replaced with a BP convenient store. I though it was really odd how this dream blended the present and the past together.
    13. cxxxiv.

      by , 08-10-2020 at 01:02 PM
      21st June 2020

      Fragment:

      My phone needed charging and I was at home with H. I went to get a charger for my phone and plugged it in; there was arcing/sparking and a flash.

      I opened the back of the phone and took the cable off it and saw that the battery had bulged slightly in one place. And the cable specs said it provided 2.9v rather than what it supposedly needed, 5v.

      Fragment:

      Some bit around my home town. I'm in the car, with mom and dad. Mom complains about being nearly 11:30 even though the dash says 10:30. Mom was complaining because we had to be there (at the destination?) and my siblings weren't ready or in the car with us yet.

      Dad took us to some cafe, or restaurant? Near where the pools in my old home town are.

      Fragment:

      In the kitchen at our current home. I was going to take codeine, but it had been prescribed for something other than pain, like allergies?



      Notes:
      - The part in the car with mom and dad is a typical scenario that might happen when we all still lived together, when I was a kid/teen.
      - At the time I'm making these notes (10th of August), I am on medication that means that I can't take codeine too; this would probably be a good cue for RCing since I know it would be dangerous to actually take the codeine currently.
    14. Saturday, July 11

      by , 07-27-2020 at 05:43 AM
      Iím in my car with Melissa, driving us somewhere. I think I need gas, so she tells me where to go. She tells me to go left through this roundabout and then to take a right, and I do so. I notice a car coming to the roundabout and think itís not going to yield to me because everyone assumes no one will take the second exit. Indeed it doesnít, speeding in front of me. Iím driving down a hill now. The area is very green, with many leafy trees and a large grass area. Thereís a large pond in the grassy area. We are now swimming in it, and the surrounding area doesnít seem as green anymore. A few people in kayaks pass us, too closely I think, and say not to fish/swim in here, humorously. I jokingly say we wonít. I think he meant not to submerge ourselves, which, looking at the murky water, Iím not going to do anyway. Weíre out now and on the sandy shore. Iím laying face down on either a towel or my shirt so I can dry off.




      Iím on my bed with Melissa and I think weíre each doing something separately. On my record player I am listening to a Brokedown Palace from 1972. Bobby is telling the crowd to shut up and says ďoh, I donít wanna singĒ to the melody of the song. I chuckle at the historical interest of it, and Melissa makes a comment too. Now I go out to see if the air is on. I think itís been running all night, same as the water. We also watch an animated movie with a twist ending or something that suggests a sequel.
      *Last night I meant to turn the water off but kept forgetting.
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    15. cxxi.

      by , 07-21-2020 at 01:28 PM
      11th May

      Dream:Earliest dream. I was in some place in the countryside, the dream was very vivid. I had my boots on, some pants, some t-shirt and my leather jacket. H was walking with me, I remember feeling the gravel beneath my feet.

      In the dream I was recognising the place. I'd been here before in some other dream. This prompted me to tell H about it and he sort of dismissed it and even though I tried doing some reality checks with my hands, I didn't become aware of the dream state.

      In my dream mind, this place wasn't exactly like how I remembered it from the other dream anyway. There was a gravel road and some buildings and some gravel plots along it, but the original place I was remembering had a normal road and it carried on, it didn't end abruptly like this gravel road. It reminded me of the southern areas of my country. There were pine trees and short grass that looked a bit dry. The dirt was fine and dusty and caramel coloured. The sky was a little bit cloudy but mostly clear and it seemed like the sun was setting. I remember looking all around me to try and identify anything from the original dream, but I felt there was nothing. The surroundings looked vast and vague at the same time.

      After walking along the road with H for a while, we eventually came to a very large gravel lot, like a parking lot, clearly meant for that use. I remember H telling me to wait here. He had to get some book, or something, from town? I said I'd wait. I didn't know what I'd do in the meantime and I had the feeling that it would be a long time. Then my awareness transitioned to some other place.

      A dream city. H wasn't here and though I have forgotten the dream plot exactly, there was something about a family that had to get to where I just was (the gravel/pine tree area). I was here to speed things along somehow? Something about a gang going after this family.

      Then details are missing; I remember getting into a car, a silver convertible and also trying to fix down a panel on the boot or something. Then the mom of this family, who was driving, started the car before I'd even sat down and put a seatbelt on. She raced through the streets and I had little balance, tipping backwards and holding the open and swaying door with my right hand. I was partially sat on her son's legs, eventually he managed to help me in, but it took a while.

      Some other part of the same dream. The chronology of the sequences is muddled. I went into a tall building and I remember carrying my black backpack and climbing lots of stairs. I didn't feel tired at all and my legs didn't hurt. Along the way, some young adult (early 20s) tugged on my backpack to have an easier time climbing. I resent that he'd done that but I said nothing and only gave him a look that made it clear to him not to do it again.

      The staircase was very much like the one from my university. Very narrow, but no lift at each landing. Eventually I got to a pretty high floor, and it looked like my virtual gallery in some sense. There was a high open space that my fear of heights creep in a little, because there were no railings at all. I remember wondering what H would think of that.

      Just behind the stairwell I'd come from, was a platform/floor and I climbed over its ledge without too much effort. It led down a dark unlit and narrow corridor. At the end of it was another stairwell, to my left. It went both up and down. There was a door directly in front of me. A white service door to my right after a short and narrow yard-long hall. Light came through the edges of this white service door and the stairs going up also allowed some natural light in from above, but not much, as it was still very dark in here.

      On the stairs, a bunch of young adults (early 20s again) were sat on the steps. They looked at me, but more like through me. I looked back for a moment, but then ignored them. I tried opening the door in front of me but it was well shut and locked. I went back through the narrow corridor I'd come from and then skipped over the gap with the stairs and took a left turn. My mind blocked out the open space with no railings.

      There were corridors and rooms this way. Many contrasts of dark and narrow halls with natural light from some windows. The floor was carpeted, not sure what colour, but I remember a cleaning lady. It just looked like a hotel in many regards but the rooms belonged to specific people who worked here or something, like an office area in a university. I can't recall the rest of the dream.



      Notes:
      - In many ways, the last part of the dream was just some mish-mash of my first university's building and my general concepts of offices and temporary living spaces. The presence of the people in their early 20s ties in with the "university" feel.
      - It can feel a bit annoying to ask H about the reality and have him only make me dismiss what I'm thinking about, though since then I have tried to imagine the situation occurring differently.
      - My leather jacket seems to have been a recurring feature for some recent dreams but I haven't found any particular reason why just yet, since I have not worn it in a long time. The only thing that comes to mind is that feels like a bit of a shame that I just let it sit unused for quite a long time, but on the other hand it is usually too hot for me to wear it.
      - Dreams where physical activity occurs are always refreshing for me in some mental sense. Being able to do intense physical activity such as climbing many flights of stairs can feel rewarding and the amount of inordinate pain I would get from doing it in real-life makes it feel like a waste of my energy and time. In dreams my low thresholds of pain don't really materialise and it is often the only time I get a break from feeling pain and discomfort throughout a day.
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