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So it looks like my thoughts got extra muddled thanks to me being sick or something ?? (woke up with a slight cold)

and that meant muddled up dreams and weird nonsense. oh well let's see what fragments I have.

btw I'm putting all these under the same dream header because I know they all happened in the same "dream" because there were some consistencies, like I was always me and the setting was pretty often the same house, when it wasn't space.

Dream - Headcold
Fragment 1
my mom telling me to clean up a mess my brother made because he's a boy and I'm a girl; I consider this a feminist issue and, like a cool, rational human being, convince my brother to inflict upon me some grave injury such as a broken arm to prove something to my mother (at one point he was like "what if I stuck you with a pin" and I was like "no that's a lady injury and it would heal too fast" or something even though he was literally talking about stabbing it through my hand or something) ... I never actually got hurt

I should note that in that particular fragment everyone seemed pretty manic. My mom told me to clean up my brother's messiness and overrode my complaints with a bright, crazed smile, I determined to be badly injured as an "I'll show her!" sort of thing, and my brother gave off an eager, sadistic air as he tried to figure out how to break my arm. So apparently my whole head was just infected with a cold manifesting as irrational thoughts in both myself and my dream characters. Which is pretty neat, though seemingly obvious. it sort of shows the effect my thinking has on my dream characters, right?

Fragment 2
lots of space shenanigans; me and some others were up in space and sometimes drifting along and other times climbing into this little space shuttle

Fragment 3
some bit where I'm practicing breathing through my mouth without using my nose at all (I was doing pretty well and then it made me gag which is a new thing for dreams yay way2go me)

Fragment 4
me goin' to the 7-11 but what for ?? oh yeah I was looking for this really good chocolatey trail mix or cereal or somethin' but I couldn't find it

Fragment 5
ex-friend talking about how he's a Pokemon trainer while constantly having to spit (in the dream this didn't bother me much at all but now I'm like "gross")

SO LET'S SEE

first of all somethin' weird happened last night, I was drifting off to sleep and I suppose just sort of observing my thoughts (which is a concept I never really understood before but it seems to make sense in this context), and I started continuously knowing when my thoughts had shifted from IWL things that made sense to stories that seemed to be made up off the top of my head. I was just sort of ... listening to my own thoughts, and at some point that I couldn't quite pin down, they would start to get pretty crazy. And for some reason, rather than simply accepting this new development as "factual" (like most of my mind seemed to be doing), I would snap out of it and go "wait that's crazy". Hmm...

It was like part of my mind was the watcher, and the other part was simply dozing, and the dozing part would start to get invested in a story; I would catch myself thinking about something crazy, like maybe an IWL person who doesn't exist, or a story I once heard that I never actually heard, or a game I never played, but my dozing mind would treat it like something I was wholly familiar with, like an old friend. And I think what triggered the sudden realization that it was made-up was when I would think back for an instant, naturally expecting the memories to be a part of my recent past, my waking life, and that's when I would have this chill of "wait that was all just made up." And that happened like, three times in a row, and every time the chill was the exact same. So strange~

—

Now for the dreams. Don't remember too much, I know for a fact there were two separate dreams but since I can no longer remember what happened in which dream, I'm just putting 'em under one header.

Dream - lel my recall is so derpy lately gg
I guess rather than chronological order, I'll arrange this in the order of what I remember best. SO THEN...

Strongest memory would be the part where I was on a dark, fiery battlefield, lots of blackened earth, troops marching forward towards the enemy army or towards destruction or towards whatever waited over there. I was one of 'em, but I was a special snowflake; not exactly "just another soldier". I didn't really have a place in the dream, a prearranged role, no backstory. It was just me chillin' with everyone else, marching forward with everybody else.

AND USING ELEMENTAL CONTROL WHAAAAAT.

I wouldn't really call myself lucid but some part of my mind was naturally invested in the idea of controlling elements around me. And it wasn't really a feeling of "maybe if I do this I will be able to possibly get the elements to obey me", it was more like "hum-de-dum just gonna grab some fire from over there hm that's not very much oh well." Like, I had the confidence I needed, and there wasn't as strong a focus on "breaking the dream" or trying to use my expectations or anything like that. Quite natural.

So let's see I was walking forward and I think I tried to snatch a bit of fire from a fellow soldier's torch (think he was standing by the roadside), but I only ended up with a tiny flicker of flame. It survived for a brief moment, curled up in a ball of air that was cupped in my palm (I mean it was invisible air but I could feel something between the fire and my palm, holding it there). I think the reason I controlled it like that was because in general, when I imagine trying to control fire, I end up concerned that I'll lose control and get horribly burns and stuff like that. And my dreaming, non-lucid mind is apparently the part that likes to inventively come up with little solutions to those problems~ and new ideas for dream powers~ (as in, the psychic poke technique) aaah I love my brain :D

SO ANYWAY next I came to a surprisingly-untouched stream, clear water coursing through a channel in the black ground. I manipulated it a bit, lifting some of it out of the stream in a nice sort of curling trail, but I think my conclusion was that there was nothing I could really do with it, and also it felt sort of ... unsatisfying. Maybe it's just that water physics are so hard to render that I end up with a sort of approximation of water and it's not much fun manipulating an approximation? Who knows.

The third and last elemental control thing I tried was simply that I was still marching, when I noticed something burning coming up on my left. The start of a little wildfire, perhaps, and close enough on my left side that, as I walked past, I got a bit concerned that it might spread to me. So I waved my hand down at it, palm down, in a sort of calming gesture, and the fire almost completely extinguished. Really, given the size of it, it was sort of unexpected that the whole thing would be put out, but I got the feeling that it was easier to simply put a fire out than to try to control it. Fire is wild, but fragile, in my mind.

That was about the extent of that segment.

—

One of the only other things I remember is a brief bit where I was in a dark, rather small room with my parents (think there was a well-lit hallway outside it though), and then my shoe caught on fire. Or something like that happened. I was understandably upset, but my parents did nothing while I put it out myself (for a brief moment, the fire seemed borderline out of control, but it didn't hurt anything except my shoe). Afterwards, I examined the fire damage done to the rubber parts of my shoe with some disgust, irritated that my parents didn't care what happened to the shoes I've had for years and years. GEEZ.

—

UGH I keep getting such tantalizing flashes of how the rest of the dream went. But maybe the concepts just don't translate well to the waking world...

The only thing I really remember is that I was packing up to move, and going down to the basement to retrieve some stuff, and then there was something about a game or story. Impossible to retrieve now.

IMMA TRY TO HURRY UP AND WRITE THIS OUT SO I CAN MOVE ON TO OTHER LIFE THINGS

Dream - Chewed-up Story Part II
Basically, in this dream... the perspective was all screwed up (no offense, brain), so that while the main story held strong ("An Unlikely Friendship"), the two main characters kept swapping out. Player 1 alternated between being a black kitten, me, and the Agro horse from Shadow of the Colossus, while the Player 2 character was either a black dog, my brother, a sort of horse/dog mix, or the apostle Paul.

At least I think that's what happened.

Overall it was as though someone had taken a bunch of story elements, chewed 'em up, and then spat them out, and pretty much left the story like that. Or it was sort of like the storyline being in the middle while the characters and setting mutate by turns.

So it started off in a school or a facility of SOME kind, where a tiny black kitten was found, apparently dead. Then it started to move, and boom, suddenly it was unexpectedly alive. Huzzah. A large black dog took a liking to it, and they became unlikely friends.

Then there was something about my brother and I being in the facility (I being the black kitten character, him being the black dog character), which was now leaning more towards a boarding school. Don't really remember that part, my outline isn't very helpful.

And lastly there was some third phase where I had been replaced by the horse Agro from Shadow of the Colossus, and Ben had been replaced by a large dog. Except I was now talking to Ben about this story, which had apparently happened some time ago in the past, about how happy I was that this was a thing that had actually happened in real life. I was like man, it's so exciting that a horse and a dog actually became friends, even though it was way back in the medieval ages. At this point the large dog had a sort of odd mane that I remember stroking. Very unusual texture to it.

Last part was something about the dog having become the apostle Paul and angrily arguing with/holding off some other people in order to protect his companion. Or something like that.

THE TAKEAWAY FROM THIS is that my brain has become overexcited by story elements and needs to calm down. Or something like that. I don't really know. IM TIRED. I have to do Linear Algebra homework right now. hhhhhaaaaaaa. brain i love stories but could you please be more consistent next time~

yo it's 5 am let's do this *yawn*

(a hastily scribbled outline was here)

Thinking back as far as I can, the first chapter of the dream was something about me being on the second floor of a large castle. The outside was rather menacing somehow, probably because it was simply enormous, and the interior reminded me somewhat of a church I used to attend (third floor of WCF). I get the impression someone else was there and that there were some rules going on, but mostly what I remember is that my cat Moses was being super dangerous in his attempts to get from the second floor of the castle to the ground. It was something like, when he wasn't supposed to jump to the ground he'd end up falling off somehow, and when it was made totally clear to him that he wasn't allowed down, he jumped off in the most ridiculously daredevil and rebellious way a cat can manage; that is to say, it was a sort of flying leap. He seemed alright when he landed though.

There was also something about the second floor of the castle being able to view the ground floor (some open space in the floor idk architecture terms) but having prison bars, and there was definitely more structure to the whole scenario. There was a girl there, it was nighttime, and there was a bit of a Stone Harbor feel. And come to think of it there was some sort of longer scenario involving a whole bunch of other teenagers which had a bit of story and structure to it, and some clique hierarchy junk, but the best I can remember of that is simply that I, along with my female (dream) best friend, was in competition with some rude female who probably had some boyfriend arm candy, and ultimately I was victorious on some level. And I suppose it wasn't quite teen hierarchy junk as much as it was adults-and-office-related. So a bit of both.

The second chapter that I can remember ... involved something about a Roman slave type person, a rather ruefully cheerful man, and something about him carrying a plate that had recently had food on it past my (iwl) dad and some other guy, both of whom commented on it. If I had to guess, I would say the plate had just had some venetian turkey pie on it. Uhhh the architecture of the situation was a bit confusing as well. The slave guy came out of a back room sort of thing and walked by a counter which divided the short hall he was in from the room with the other two men in it, who were lounging in chairs. Man there was something really strange happening other than what I'm describing but it's either hard to remember or hard to translate to waking life terms. Basically though, the two men commented on the plate, saying something like "is there any of that left" because the food it referenced was so delicious, and the slave felt sort of awkward, and then there was something about the Bible. Or something. And a river of lava. The feel of this chapter was subordinate with a touch of outright menace and a helping (DO YOU SEE THE THING THAT I DID) of danger, compared to the previous one.

The last thing thing I remember before my alarm went off and I woke up was a dream that I was recording my dream. I was attempting to remember the different parts of the dream and starting to outline them in my head so I could remember them and write them down. But since I was still dreaming and not at all lucid, the information I was arranging was totally made-up (did not refer to any dream I had just had) and in non-IWL terms. Also I did not realize I wasn't awake and when my alarm went off I was genuinely surprised. So it would almost be impressive that I started writing down a dream before I'd even woken up and before my alarm had gone off, if the information did not look like (attempted translation):
• a person wearing a black, looseknit sweater thing
• holding a fishing rod that they are using to tease
• some third person (information not found)
or, in other words, total gibberish, even as dreams are concerned, and also incorrect.

But apparently my heart's in the right place. Also more proof that my mind sort of knows when my alarm is about to go off (since my mentality started to switch from "dreaming" to "recording dreams" shortly before I woke up), which is always very strange. I also remember that my feelings upon waking were something like "ahhh I'll remember all this when I wake up in the morning", but I decided to write it down anyway because those words really meant "I'm disoriented and lazy and I didn't ask to be in this 5 AM time-to-write-down-your-dream situation" and the fact of the matter was I was already starting to forget. Having a dream journal on here is pretty dang cool.