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This dream started out in the parking lot of a 7-Eleven where I was hanging out with a group of kids I had gone to high school with. They weren’t specific people; all I knew is they were part of my high school “group” so to speak. It was evening and we were hanging out when someone had the bright idea to go check out an abandoned building across town (which in the dream was Burbank, California). For some reason it sounded like a good idea, so we all hopped in a car and drove away.

After a 10 minute drive we arrived at the most ominous, dilapidated warehouse I had ever seen. I went in and walked up to the second floor only to realized that the group of people I had been with had vanished completely and that sunlight was spilling in through the dirty glass windows. “That’s strange,” I thought, “It was definitely just nighttime a second ago.”

All of a sudden a feeling of anxiety and fear overwhelmed me. I could sense a bad presence in the building. Water that had been spread out in a thin layer over the floor seized up into thousands of stubby stalagmites jutting from the ground. They weren’t frozen in terms of temperature but frozen in terms of time. I thought: “This is stupid, why am I so scared? After all, this is MY dream... This is my dream.”

Up until this point I was convinced that these events were actually happening because the dreamworld was so detailed and vivid. It looked and felt EXACTLY like real life. But now I understood! No wonder this dreamscape was so finely crafted and detailed, because I was fully conscious inside of it! In a normal dream experience, It’s as if your dream-self is extremely drunk: you’re not quite sure where you are, you can’t really control your actions, and you can only remember bits and pieces of what you were doing. When you’re fully conscious in a dream, you control EVERY action, think just as clearly as you do when you’re awake, and can observe and appreciate all aspects of the highly detailed environment your subconscious creates for you. It’s essentially being “awake” in your dreams, and that’s exactly what I was.

So immediately I teleported to get out of the abandoned building and ended up materializing in front of the recording studio where I work. I walked in to see my bosses and coworkers laughing and having a good time. I said hi to them and made some idle chat before leaving. I had a dream to go enjoy and I wasn’t going to spend it at work!

It was a beautiful sunny day in Burbank California as I walked down the street, enjoying the slight breeze and feeling the warm sun on my skin. I was still in shock and awe over how realistic and detailed this whole experience was. I walked for a good two blocks just relaxing and then the sky started to slowly oscillate between blue and green. I thought it looked neat so I decided to leave it be.

After I got tired of walking I figured it’d be fun to try and fly, but as I launched off the ground the dream started to get fuzzy and destabilize. I knew I was starting to wake up so I concentrated as hard as I could to try and hold on to the dream, which worked. I was back on the ground on Burbank Blvd where I had taken off.

I took off again, this time with much better results. I flew over Burbank and off through the mountains and eventually into a wide lush valley with a river running through it. Along the river banks were massive structures; huge orbs at least twice the Empire State Building in diameter. At their tops were patches of green lush trees with springs gushing out and down their sides and into the river. I flew around these for a while until the dream started to fade again!

After propelling myself back into the dream a second time, I thought my dream destabilization might have something to do with the abandoned building I had visited earlier. I teleported there to a room on the upper floor. This time it was an abandoned farmhouse rather than a warehouse, but regardless of the building it was the same location.

A figure came into the doorway. It was a little boy with deathly pale skin, dark hair, and blank piercing eyes that stared viciously. He looked like a male version of the girl from “The Grudge”. It had to be the source of whatever fear or anxiety was troubling me earlier. I didn’t even give him a second thought and immediately disintegrated him and erased him from the dream. Quit killin’ my vibe fool!

I then decided it was time to fly again, so I passed through the window and started to take off. For a brief moment I got stuck under the awning of a porch, but fortunately I braced my legs against the side of the house and pushed off as hard as I could, breaking through the wooden planks that were holding me in. I flew around what looked like the American Pacific Northwest for a while, enjoying the fresh air and the wide open spaces. Eventually, I decided it was time to wake up and took a dive bomb. It felt like I had a “crash landing” back into my body as I felt my consciousness slam back into it at what felt like mach 10. This woke me up with quite a jolt and immediately I opened up the laptop and typed the whole thing out. It was hands down my coolest dream experience to date. 100% awake and 100% cognizant while being 100% disconnected from my physical body.

WAKING LIFE DREAMING LUCID
BOLD IF IT FEELS PARTICULARLY SIGNIFICANT

This dream is from the night before the night before last


Book-ended Children

Children running down a sloping sidewalk that curved back and forth. Stone wall along the sidewalk. Cobblestone ground. My consciousness looking down on them as they ran toward “me”. Saying to myself I remember this, I remember reading this. My mom was showing me another reel.

There was something forced about what the children were doing. they didn’t like it but they did relatively well at pretending. I think I knew more about why, that it had something to do with the parents, but I don’t recall now.

Mom put on another old reel. it seemed to be of my father’s side of the family. I knew he would like to see it and wondered at my mom having it instead of him.

In waking life my father idealizes tradition and is also an extraordinarily creative and brilliant man. I think he idealizes being a child, simple carefree yet responsible times. He was a “hippie” black sheep in his family when he was younger. That side of my family had a lot of power that was used for massive capitalistic gains and political influence. There is corruption, greed, addiction, and yet amazing intelligence and creativity smattered around the people. I am curious and feel it is important to know more about this family history. It also makes me feel sick to think of knowing more. My fascination and desire to know the different sides of my family (and myself) usually wins out, though. Well, at least in the internal battles of which I am aware.

I watched the reel on an old contraption that displayed more like a television than a projector. My mom stood to the side, close to the moving picture.

Soft thwacking noises like an old projector. I could almost see the frames as they shuffled past, specks and lines of light flashing and morphing with them.

A man (I think a/the/[my?] father), somber and proud like in older photographs, sat on the right, looking at the camera. The children to the left of him in their sitting positions, and then sat a huge man in a tuxedo complete with tailcoat. The two men were like bookends, the children between them. We’d only been watching it a minute, and mom already wanted to change reels. I said no, I want to see them when they move. I said their body language would be very significant, would show me more about who they actually are. It felt intensely important and I was riveted.

The large, hulking man stood and walked to the right. Maybe 8 or 9 feet tall, who knows, maybe 10. Big, round belly, sloped shoulders. (He reminds me of the way my maternal grandpa looked when he was dying of cancer, that same kind of oval shape, but much more extreme, and more solid and thick.) I didn’t think he was a family member of mine. The father (it was my impression I think, though perhaps it was a waking reflection) stood and slowly walked to the right. I watched his body carefully (from where the audience would be if there was one) and couldn’t tell much about him from the way he walked. It was so slow, as if he was favoring physical pain. His stiffness swallowed up his personality.

There were a lot of dream characters projecting their personae in this dream, like they were conforming to older, more serious social pressures. Personae that were hollow yet strong. Weak, deep, and shallow and full of tightly woven rules.

I feel an association between the father dream character and my paternal great grandfather, father of my father's father. I never knew him. It makes sense, given my grandfather’s and his brother’s dichotomies, success and greed for one, creativity and susceptibility in the other. Or so I've interpreted and oversimplified.

The trickle of this history of family emotions is a reason I think this song taps a large body of water inside me.



“I am out here studying stones
trying to learn to be less alive
using all of my will to keep very still
still even on the inside

I've cut all the pertinent wires
so my eyes won't make their connections
I am holding my breath
I am feigning my death
when I'm looking in your direction

...when all the forbidden fruit is fallen and rotted
well that's when I'm gonna come down"

Even if they’re partial hogwash, I feel love flowing from new understandings.