Morning of December 20, 2010. Monday. This is a short summary of one segment only. On a clear mid-afternoon, I am at the top of a high hill upon which there are no manmade buildings or vehicles. I am in a peaceful field with green knee-high grass. There is a verdant forest on two sides, the one to my left being denser. A young girl (who is likely a young version of Zsuzsanna) of about ten, dressed in informal clothes including blue jeans, approaches from the sparser forest and cheerfully starts talking to me. She has binoculars and wants me to look through them. Looking through the binoculars after she passes them to me from my right, I see a large American eagle. It flies in various directions at about three different distances. After time passes, the eagle lands on a branch and looks in my direction, but not continuously. The binoculars seem to dissolve in my hands after it has landed on the branch. Eventually, time seems to pass, though only about fifteen minutes, and yet the girl seems a few years older when I see her again. She stands, holding a tall narrow wooden staff, in the middle of a white sandy pathway with trees on each side. This is RAS mediation via the personified preconscious as remaining passive (due to my willingness to watch the eagle through the girl’s prompting) for the rectification of vestibular system ambiguity (preparatorily symbolized by the eagle) in semi-lucidity. The field is autosymbolism for liminal space and the pathway is the emergent consciousness conduit. Being on the hill is autosymbolism for being closer to full consciousness. Zsuzsanna typically appears in my dreams more to my left if she is still asleep and to my right when she is awake, especially if up and walking around. This may be due to sleeping on my left side with my right side openly exposed to my real environment, where RAS mediation is dominantly directed. This is virtually the same waking symbolism, though with different details, as early childhood dreams, including the “Patches” series. It is in direct contrast to “Two Intruders Give Me a Talon” from 2015, where the dominant preconscious comes into liminal space, autosymbolized as the porch of our current home, to force me to grow a condor-like talon on my right hand for the non-lucid metaphorical rectification of vestibular system ambiguity, which is the biological factor of falling and flying dreams. Resupplemented Saturday, 27 January 2018. 2010DEC20(L3.1) Foundational affirmation: “I am the continuity of my greatest strength and most beneficial viewpoint.”
The orange bit is when I became lucid. I'm in a backyard that I've never been, I'm climbing on them and looking on the tops of the fence and every once in awhile I find a stack of money. Then my friend and some boy I don't recognize walks into the backyard and they ask me what I'm doing. I tell them that finding money on fences is how I make a living, they're are shocked by this, so I show them, I pick a spot on the long fence and I climb up a little and find a small stack of money and show them, they're intrigued but still shocked, we start walking away from the fence, and suddenly the boy has a pitchfork in his hands and is walking towards me, he first goes towards my friend but I jump in front of her, and it goes into my stomach but doesn't puncture me yet, I say to him "what the hell are you doing!" and then he say's "I'm sorry, I can't control it!", so me and my friend say it's okay, but then I run out of room to back up in and then the pitchfork impales my torso and goes all the way through, my friend gasps but I tell her it's okay, for some reason I don't feel any pain, but it feels like a sensation. We are interrupted by some man and he says we must go to the hill and watch the aliens arrive, the boy has disappeared, but me and my friend panic and go to the hill so we don't stick out for any reason and get in trouble. When we go to the hill there is so many people laying and sitting on blankets or just on the grass, me and my friend lay together really close anticipating a bad thing, (then everything, the wind the grass the people just get very vivid) and I hear something loud and horrible coming i think its the ship but before I see anything I become aware that I'm in a dream, and I think i prevented the ship from coming because I can just hear the awful noise and shaking sensation, then I turn to see my friend but she's gone so I realize I can get the heck outta here and I look at the grass then when I look back up I'm still at the hill and I get annoyed but all the people and noise are gone, I try it again and when I look to the light I'm in this really really small room with just a rug and Then I feel as though my lucidity is slipping so I look at my hands and my fingers go out like smoke and I rub my hands together and I guess I stabilized, I make a door appear for some reason, I don't even use it, then I remember I need to brake something (that's the only part of the totm I could remember for some reason) but there is nothing to brake, no window nothing, when I turn looking I see a small table that a lamp would go on and I try to touch it but it sort of acts like two magnets deflecting from each other every time my hand got near, so I sloppily swing my foot at it and it explodes with one touch and wood chips go in the air in almost slow motion and I think why is it less wood then was in the form of it being a table. then I want to try to fly, but when I try it's like I'm doggy paddling in water but I stay in the air where I doggy paddled instead of going back down.]and then my cat woke me up quite alarmed because he had to take a dump and the litter box is in the hallway.
dream : comments : lucid 24th of January, 2012 I've been on a trip the past couple of days and my dream recall was really bad during that time. Early this morning, back in my own bed, I had a huge dream. It went a little something like this: We were on a holiday in Sydney and staying at a super fancy hotel on the 7th floor. I went for a wander to see what the rest of the building was like and ended up gong to the toilets. I was surprised that they weren’t that nice. Somehow I spent like 45 minutes in there just talking to people and at one stage soap bubbles were everywhere and I sat in the urinal then freaked out. Coz I was sitting in a urinal. When I left and went back to the elevator, it stopped on the 5th floor and I noticed my family were in one of those rooms instead. Weird, but I kept going. I went up to the 9th floor- the top level of the building- which had a big spiral you had to walk up. At the very top there was an open area and it connected back to street level somehow. I continued on my little journey and went back downstairs and onto the street where I met up with Sean and Lina. At some point, perhaps before that, I noticed my friend Jon Lee owned a restaurant and I decided we should go there for dinner that night. Sean, Lina and I kept walking toward their hotel and then I realised I had no idea where I was. I said “You’ve lead me astray!” and we continued walking and found ourselves in an underground shopping area. There was a fruit market there, so we went into it. A woman was now with our group and she picked up fresh baked bread and bananas and I told her that it would be a delicious sandwich. While waiting in line, I jokingly tried to push in front of her by swimming (!) under her. She stopped me and was offended that I’d even try because she’d “already had 5 babies today!” “Quints?” I said. “Yo! Imagine having quints!” At that point the cashier girl suddenly had a huge cot full of babies that she was tending to so only one checkout lane was open. I went to buy two Cokes, but didn’t have any money so I left the line. On my way out, my grandfather was chilling on top of the greeting card display and said that it would be really nice if he and his friend (“the only one I have left!”) could pick us up from school and play with us and make us dinner. I said that we already had plans to dine out but he looked really sad so I agreed. I said “I guess it’s okay anyway, imagine if the restaurant had been attacked while we were there!” As I said it, I saw a scene of the restaurant being shot apart and everyone dying. I pretended to be dead and lay on the ground. So anyway, we went to this friend’s house of his which was on top of a giant hill and Acka introduced himself as me for some reason. I sat down and began reading the guy’s wine guide and said that Nooks would be really annoyed now because it means I’d take even longer to choose a good wine. Suddenly it turned out that two other people were going to join us for dinner and the friend didn’t have enough food as he’d only bought one giant fish. The dream changed around here- though I believe it was still connected- and I dreamt two dreams almost simultaneously. The first started out as if I was watching a movie. In segments, it told the story of a girl and a boy and how they’d always been together. It culminated in them sitting, in exactly the same position as an earlier segment, in suits in a limo. The other dream was that we were at a public scalping. Apparently the guy was Iranian, but he didn’t look it; he was just some fat, sort of sad looking guy. I’m not sure what he was in trouble for but he had to sit in this wooden structure a couple of levels tall with ropes attached to his head. The ropes went through this elaborate pulley system where the scalper held them at the other end and would pull them. As the (we’ll call him an executioner) executioner slowly started pulling the ropes I began to get emotional and started crying. I asked someone to ask the prisoner (coz he was Iranian and couldn’t understand me) if he was scared. He said he was terrified and somehow came down to ground level for his last request. His nose was bleeding from fear and I gave him a hug and told him to be brave. He said he wanted to hear his favourite song one more time and quite a nice song began playing. I think it spoke about second chances or something. The dream faded as the prisoner (now on a motorbike) rode back up to the top of the structure to be scalped. It was really intense at the time. At that point the earlier dream came back to the forefront and ended with a nice high angle shot of the guy getting out of the limo and walking into a crowd while "Where I Stood" by Missy Higgins was playing. I woke up and wondered why the hell that song was in my head as I don’t think I’ve ever even heard the whole thing.
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