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Is this website dying? seems no one DJ's here after the spring competition...
On the last entry: The "drive by". I heard the Jamie voice in my head apologize for that or something. No! It's okay. I go stir crazy sometimes trying to figure how "real," what I am experiencing is. To show up on the day I post about something distressing... Nah, you threw me a line girl! Thanks.
BTW if Jamie reads these. Because of my situation at home, my cousin just offered me a room in Lethbridge, I can get my old job back, I'm on 3 delivery apps, and i have the basic skills to start a side business. You KNOW how mentally unhealthy my family is. It's triggering for me here. I understand I was put here for now, to be closer to your area, for a reason. I'll hold out for as long as I can. But, if it gets really bad here. I gotta run. I'll let ya know. I'd hate to because it seems like a phenomenal amount of progress has been made between us.
Anyway dreams:
Jamie is crazy
FA, get out of bed and I see it's hailing out and there's a big storm (It's also night time.) I don't think to RC. I hear my brother say he hopes Jen makes it home okay. I hear a crash and I hear Jamie's voice from the kitchen say, "Rob, come look!" I run into the kitchen and see Jamie (As Jen) standing behind my dad. There's an acoustic guitar smashes over him. Parts of the wood are stabbed inside his body and the strings are cutting him. He's awake but makes no sound. I keep asking, "Um Should I call an ambulance?" Jamie keeps saying while grinning, "No, I think he'll make it."
Remind me to NEVER really piss Jamie off... my god.
Work
I'm working in some large building with storeys. I'm new, but everyone is wearing Wal-Mart vests. I see Jamie as a different girl. and the nametag says, "Julie," I have false memories, of working in another town with a girl that looked like her name ,"Julia.". Jamie's eyes widen in fear and she runs past me. Her friend (The one I met at the metal party at the airstrip in didsbury.) says something like, "Oh I think she likes you. Just let her make all the moves on you, she will." and I'm like, "Okay, i'm pretty shy with that stuff anyway so it's nice when someone else takes initiative." But in the middle of the sentence the girl I'm taking to is replaced by a chubby woman with grey hair. She yells at me, "Stop talking and get to work."
bed
FA, Jamie and her friend walk into my bedroom. I see Jamie as Katelynn now (Great now my perception of her is off again). I'm like, "I haven't seen you in so long we should have a hug." (knowing it's really Jamie.) Jamie goes to hug me in bed but turns around and I hug her from behind. Her behind is literally on my you know what again. But her friend drags her off the bed an out of the room. (note: In addition to the voice, While going to sleep or waking up in the middle of the night or early morning. There is a phantom sense of Jamie with me. I experience hugs, and other things. And I have read other "Twin Flames" have gone through this as well. While I think I'm going crazy, I do find it comforting.)
Last night.
Two brief flashes
In one Jamie is prancing some other guy around in front of me. I start getting mad and Raven says something like, "She just needs healing"
in the second Flash. I'm watching peaceful energy go over Jamie. Her vacant, glassy eyes become whole again. She looks at me and smiles. and we grab our hands together.
Well, we got attacked again. I tried to get Raven to help but of course, her dream friends also got attacked, so she spent some nights trying to resolve that.
Suspected Jamie drive by again. This time outside my place as it was getting dark. The car turned down the alley where my backyard is facing. Although it was hard to see due to some branches, it was the quick head turn that was the give away, and the hair. This on the same day of my distressing post. Maybe she was checking on me? Different vehicle again... Maybe I'm just paranoid and seeing what I wanna see. Maybe she borrows a family or friends vehicle. This reminds me of a Tik Tok post Emily King made a while ago on this sort of thing: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMMqVB6sw/
[COLOR="#800080"]Warehouse[COLOR]
I was forced to work in a strange warehouse. There were these tiny rooms against a large wall but they were all connected. Everyone was supposed to go into the tiny rooms and do something I forget. I was put into a room and there was a tiny window next to me. I looked inside and saw two men being gay. Won't go into detail.
Then I had false memories of Jamie being with me earlier, but people had separated us.
This made me angry so I smashed through all the walls and knocked some people over. Some short black guy teleported to me trying to fight. He was jumping up and down really fast trying to be hard to hit. I put my hand on the top of his head to keep him there. He couldn't escape but then my memory fades.
The rest of the night I had 2 short dreams. I was trying to find Jamie but kept running into two women with cloth gags in their mouths. They kept saying Jamie was busy but to play with them. I wasn't having it
Next night.
Left on read
I was in a construction place with my dad and brother. I kept pulling out my phone and looking for messages from Jamie. There was an old message saying she needed space or something. Work was boring but when we had to leave, my dad was in a wheelchair and had an oddly shaped head.
Last night:
Maybe a dream about my Dog and some dogs.
Strange
Dreamed I was leaving work with some people. We all had separate vehicles. I followed them to some cul de sac area. We waited and chatted. Can't remember about what. I drove off but there was some confusion about who should leave first.
Drove into a downtown street like a cross between the two downtown's of Didsbury and Carstairs. There was all these people on the street blocking the way. Suddenly instead of driving, I was walking. It was night. I ran into my cousin, and said the one restaurant that I use for pickup was closed for the holiday. He mentioned a couple that were open. I asked about the one where Jamie worked (apparently she works at a bar in the dream). He said that I'm still not allowed in there, or something because of Her. Then he said it was BS because he heard Jamie say that she was okay with me, but the owner still wouldn't allow me in. Then my memory fades.
Seems Jamie is back to normal.
Jamie 1
Brief flash of driving in the country with Jamie in a white vehicle. This was daytime
Jamie 2
Brief dream of slow dancing with Jamie in a living room. There were disco lights flashing. Asuka seemed to be the DJ. The song was a really old song.
Jamie 3
I was in a backyard by a garden during the daytime. My dad was there and he said, " the girl that's arriving has borderline problems like you. You two would be a good match," not his exact words but something like that. In a muddy driveway a white pickup truck arrives and I see Jamie in the passenger seat. The driver I can't see but I feel it's her dad.
Losing control
I was in the backyard again. I was exploring a shed. I looked out a crack in the wall boards. I started tapping my chest hard. Not sure if it was an RC or not. I stepped outside the door and started getting dizzy. I began falling over but kept trying to pull myself up. I just kept fading more and more no matter how hard I tried to stay conscious. I was panicking.
Woke up and the Jamie voice asked if I was okay?
Fake Jesus
I'm walking in a tunnel inside of a big tower with a maze to the top. At the entrance is standing Jesus in a red robe. He looks like a guy cosplaying Jesus. We make small talk and begin the maze tower. Suddenly he's a British woman. We are jumping on these blocks that take us up the maze. I'm talking to him and almost say , "god dammit." When I miss a block. I say, " Oh wait, that's a sin right. Please forgive me." The British lady says, "Yes, that's a sin.". I jump and make it to the block . It looks like Jesus again and he's standing on a rotating block, so he has to jump to stay on it when it turns on it's edge. I can't make the jump so I ask him to pull me up. He hesitates and I insist he's supposed to help me. He grabs my hand but the block turns over and he falls on me and we both fall down the shaft.
Last night: no recall. Stress from getting into an argument with my dad where he thought it was okay to shove me. I had to go for a drive to olds to calm myself down until I was done with reliving all the trauma. Spent half an hour parked at the McDonald's and watching Tik Tok.
Jamie and me are getting attacked in dreams again. Can't we just catch a break?
What?
I walk into a large basement room. Jamie is there but looks like an older woman I've seen from Tik Tok with a big fat guy. He looks like the guy who was the husband of the Jamie look alike I saw in wal mart a while ago. Jamie teleports him away. I go to the bed, but it's not a couch, I sit beside her and say, "Hello." Jamie just ignores me. The dream ends.
Jamie's double
I'm in a basement but it looks different from the last one. I'm exploring different rooms but I come to a big living room. I see two Katelynn's sleeping next to each other on a mat. I instinctively feel one Is Jamie however. I pick one up and begin going to another room. I decide against it for some reason and put her back. I notice one of them seems to be a darker shade.
School
All I remember is being in a classroom with children. The teacher starts complaining to me that I keep falling asleep and snoring. I decide I'm dropping out. I go by the door to collect my shoes. One of my shoes is really worn and is torn in half. I begin walking across the field to leave and I forget the rest.
I wake up and ask the Jamie voice if she had any dreams about me? She said something like she saw two of herself. I drifted off then.
Jamie's Double 2
I am briefly dreaming from Jamie's perspective. I'm in a dark room like the one with the two Katelynns I look down on a sleeping mat and I see myself, and also myself (Me, Robert the author.) I see them both between long strands of brown hair that are dangling down.
I consult Raven the next day that I am having two problems: 1. There's a Fake Jamie in my dreams. 2. I'm not seeing Jamie as herself, but other people (Jen, Katelynn, older lady) Raven agrees to help.
Last night:
again?
Brief dream where Jamie is next to another woman and being a little too friendly with her, and I'm jealous and angry.
Other dreams were random non lucids. They seemed really long but I can't remember much. none of them had Jamie in them.
Hotel
I'm in the hotel again but I can't remember what happened. Just lots of rooms with lots of people.
Busy
I'm with lots of people but we are going around town and doing things, can't remember what.
Recycling
I'm with my brother but he has a truck. We are by a beach, kind of like Sylvan lake. I take these bags of bottles and load them into the truck. some guy comes up to me and says he wants to buy the truck. Then I notice the bags are gone. I accuse him of stealing the bags. He says he just wants to buy the truck. I just get mad or something and talk to other people about him and eventually he leaves. I then talk to my brother about the guy.
Mainly remember 2 dreams. One from each night.
What
I'm with Jamie and Asuka at a theme park or something. We are climbing some stairs that go way up. It seems to take forever to get to the top. At the top two people are waiting. One is that annoying girl Gina, from Tik-Tok... The one who got famous making funny faces and saying, " No Chick-Fil-A sauce?". Jamie seems to know who she is, Jamie looks at me and gives a devilish smile and ditches out the door. Me and Gina go through and the "ride." Is actually just flying. We both start flying and I see Jamie. Me and Gina start singing an 80's song. I think it's the love theme from,"Ghost.". While I do like 80's, I'm not a particular fan of that song, but I sing along anyway. When it comes to a high pitched part in the song, I stop. Gina looks back at me and laughs. Don't remember after.
Lucid
I'm in a basement with a bunch of people. I test gravity and Become lucid. I want to look for Jamie, but as I move around, I lose the dream.
Confusing
I'm in the basement again. Asuka is there and some children. My brother's girlfriend is there but is hitting on me... Fucking ew. Too tall/manly/ short hair. But I somehow sense it's Jamie. Not sure why she looks like that in the dream. She is holding my hand first and I go to sit down on a couch. Jamie goes to sit on my lap. But she sits right on my... You know. My memory fades after.
Nothing much else to report. The head voice relationship thingy is really stable, compared to how it was months ago. I am pleased.