Note: My first goal for the night, the one I used my WILD for, was to go meet MoSh and then we were going to go back and view a dream he had a while back where he was speaking to don Juan. In this dream don Juan had told MoSh he had a message for me, but I would have to find him first, and the instructions for finding him were in that dream if I could get them. Other goals are the same as other nights. I fell asleep with my light / sound machine and slipped into an unusually vivid WILD… I was in MoSh's inner world. I surveyed my surroundings and saw everything looked like it always does, nothing seemed out of place. Sometimes it is difficult to keep the beginnings of these dreams separate since the dreams where I go to get MoSh before doing anything else are starting to merge together in my mind. I found MoSh, and we went through a portal back to my inner world. MoSh and I emerged from the portal into the living room of my house, the first thing I saw was a cat running when we appeared suddenly. The cat, Amber, peeked around a corner as if to see if it was safe to come out, and seeing it was MoSh and me, she came back out right away. I booted up the laptop that was sitting on the couch and logged into the dream journal program right away. I searched through the list of MoSh's dreams and found the correct one, which was labeled "Don Juan At My Picnic Table," and clicked on that one. Everything was working smoothly as the hologram started up and we were transported to a virtual recreation of MoSh's dream. I looked around the area, nothing was remarkable, what I was looking at was a park of some kind with a picnic table there, MoSh was sitting on one side of the picnic table with what appeared to be an Indian shaman sitting across from him. The present day MoSh and I got closer so we could hear what was being said. I actually sat on the left side of the MoSh at the picnic table, and the present day MoSh was beside me, and there was a dark specter floating over the shaman… wtf? There was no dark specter… the day was bright and sunny, a great day for a picnic, and there was no sign of anything creepy… except for the dark fog seeping out of the… gopher hole?! That wasn't dark fog… it was a cute little gopher baring it's razor sharp fangs as it tore the head off of a small lizard and swallowed the thing whole… um… ok… my mind was running away from me a bit here… I focused my attention on the shaman, who I knew right away was don Juan, and listened to him and MoSh talking to each other. Don Juan was talking to MoSh about getting a message to me regarding how to find him, when don Juan said that he took a glance to MoSh's left, directly at me, as if he was looking at me. But that couldn't be, this was a hologram, it wasn't even like we'd traveled through time to view it in person. Don Juan's gaze strayed to the present day MoSh and then returned to the MoSh he was speaking with. MoSh said something about me not having the power to reach don Juan, but don Juan said it has nothing to do with power, what I was lacking was the belief in myself, I have too much doubt about myself to find him, which I thought was odd since I was now sitting across from him… I snickered, which somehow seemed to get his attention again… don Juan looked at me for a bit longer this time, I had the distinct feeling I was actually being watched, so I silenced myself, I wasn't here to interfere, after all… but I wasn't here at all! I put my attention back on don Juan right as a large black form with huge razor teeth reared up behind don Juan and was preparing to bite his head off, or that's what it appeared to be… I instinctive stood up and yelled at don Juan to look out, and right at that time don Juan leaned over to pick something up from the ground… the creature's teeth clamped down on nothing and the thing dissipated into the air like smoke. After that, the other MoSh was still not paying any attention to me, the present MoSh was looking at me strangely, and don Juan also seemed to be watching me… was this not just a hologram? Were we actually there? I didn't have any answers to those questions for certain, but it definitely looked like don Juan was responding to my actions… so now I just straight out asked don Juan if he could see me, was he actually looking at me like it appeared he was looking at me. He didn't say anything, but he focused his gaze right into my eyes briefly before looking back at the past version of MoSh. So he was seeing me! I had no doubt in my mind of that now, somehow he was seeing me, which would indicate this was not just a hologram. So the dream went on this way, the past MoSh and don Juan spoke a bit more, don Juan said something about telling me things then I could write them down… at the same time as I was seeing don Juan and MoSh talking in a park I was seeing someplace much more disturbing, a dark and dreary place with strange mutant creatures crawling through the shadows, often coming out and feeding on one another… I couldn't hide a look of 'yuck' when a smaller creature jumped on a larger one, tore into the stomach of the larger one, ate the soft tissue within, then ran off leaving the larger creature still alive, but inevitably dying an unpleasant death, and making the most horrible noises as it died… this caused me to not hear all of what don Juan and MoSh were saying to each other, but don Juan seemed to find my reactions interesting, as he looked over in my direction several times. Smaller ant like mutants, mouse sized ants, came out and began eating the creature before it had finished its slow demise, creating the loudest and most horrible cries of pain yet… Once the pathetic creature was dead I was able to return my attention to MoSh and don Juan, the latter of the two was looking back at me… I saw movement off to my left and looked over just in time to see MoSh disappear from the picnic bench, that must be where he woke up, and now there was something else there… sort of a version of MoSh, but it had razor sharp fangs and teeth, talons on his hands, and the eyes of a goat… meaning his pupils were horizontal and square shaped, looked really kind of creepy. That version of MoSh hissed at me like a snake and then made to bite me with his sharp fangs, I held him back from biting me, and then he disappeared just as the normal MoSh had done. I looked over at the present day MoSh, and he was looking over at don Juan… hadn't he seen what had just happened? Hadn't he seen the really creepy version of himself? I was getting the idea he hadn't, which seemed really strange that he could have missed it… Don Juan was looking directly at me now, no longer trying for the illusion that he couldn't see me, it was obvious to anyone looking that he was looking right at me… both of him were looking right at me… There appeared to be two of him, one lying barely beneath the surface of the other, creating a somewhat blurred image of him… I wondered if there was another don Juan within the inner don Juan… I looked closer and could see there indeed was, and another… and another… and another… and then I stopped looking deeper because it was starting to give me a headache… like looking into infinity. I felt like the dream was going to slip away from me, but that was the last thing I wanted to do… I looked away from the many dimensional don Juan and looked at my own hands, trying to stabilize my dream, and I did a double take… I had talons?! Or at least one version of my hands had talons… another had long red fingernails, another looked normal but had blue skin… ok, enough of seeing all of this, to stabilize the dream… I closed my eyes and used the time dilation method Allura showed me, and as I dilated time the dream stabilized. With the dream stabilized, I looked back up at don Juan, I asked what the message was that he had for me. He said nothing for a short time, and then, "The fact that you are here proves you already understand the message." I was sitting there looking at him with what was no doubt a blank look, the different versions of don Juan were responding differently, one was snickering, one had no expression, one was frowning, one was outright laughing his ass off, one was shaking his head, one was nodding, one was… ok… that was too many don Juans again… I was getting disoriented. He asked exactly what I thought I was seeing, I figured he meant the fact I was seeing many versions of the same thing, so that's what I answered, that it was different versions of the same things from multiple planes of existence. He said I was only seeing a few of the many ways that things are, but let's see if I was really seeing anything at all… Before I could put meaning to that, however, the scene around me changed. I surveyed my new surroundings and saw I was standing in a forest clearing (barren desert landscape) where there was one person there beside myself. That person looked like an Indian shaman (weird crazy old man) with long white hair hanging down to about the middle of his back (sticking out in every possible direction) and an old wizened face (with wild colored paint all over it)… I was seeing two versions of this person at the same time… Version One: I was in a barren desert landscape with very little sign of life anywhere, and the crazy looking shaman was staring at me with an insane look in his eyes. I focused on him for a bit, not sure what I was supposed to do about this situation, he attacked me with a wind spell, he formed a tornado and basically sent it at me. I jumped out of the way and flew over to the other side of the crazy shaman, looking at him to see what the best course of action was… and his spark was something I couldn't miss, so I would heal him. The song I thought I needed to use was Touch My Heart, so I focused on that while evading another wind attack, this one had wind blasts compressed so tightly that they were like spears, the song played through and golden energy flowed through the shaman, I had directed the spell to match the shaman's own energy. The song finished playing, the shaman looked normal now, he nodded at me and was gone. Version Two: I was in the forest clearing, there was an Indian shaman looking at me with a calm expression on his face, he also had an evil glint in his eyes. I wondered if he was up to something, I thought there was something strange about his aura, it seemed ice cold. I heard him chuckle, and then there was an explosion of activity as animals charged from every direction attacking me, they seemed to be under the shaman's control. They were innocent animals, I didn't want to hurt them, so I took to the sky to avoid an assortment of birds dive bombed me from the sky, to free the animals I would have to deal with the shaman quickly. I searched him, I figured I would find the spark, but I saw nothing… could that be? I looked a little deeper, still nothing, I looked as much as I could… I was attacked more, and I had still seen no sign of a spark in this man. Since I could see nothing to heal in there I just went for straight defending myself… He was attacking me with a staff that had a blade on each end as the animals continued attacking me from behind, I saw no choice but to counter attack with my Witchblade sword, and I ended up killing him. Once he was dead, the animals dispersed, then I saw a ghost rise from the body and both were gone. Ok… now things looked normal again, what had that been all about? I was going to say something to don Juan, who was there in front of me again, but I didn't get a chance to before everything changed again. I was inside a room now, that looked like the interior of an old type building that might have been used by native Americans… There was yet another shaman standing in front of me, he had long braided gray hair (long black hair pulled back into a pony tail) (I couldn't see his hair because of a hood over his head)… I was seeing three versions of things now… Version One: I was looking at the shaman with long gray hair that was in braids on both sides of his face. He attacked me with fire, forming a fireball in each hand and throwing it at me. I countered the fire with a blast of ice, to extinguish the flames so the place wouldn't burn to the ground with us in it… though this man was attacking me, he had a spark… so I would heal him. A ring of fire formed around the man, expanding to burn all in its path including me… I focused on the song Touch My heart, which felt right for this situation, and the healing energy flowed through the man. He nodded, then disappeared. Version Two: The shaman had long black hair that was pulled back into a pony tail, his eyes were creepily red and looked a bit crazed… He was attacking me with ice, throwing icicles at me like spears, I shattered them with my Witchblade sword while checking this guy for a spark, which I saw burning inside him, so I focused on the healing spell that felt right, and that one was the song Frozen by Madonna. The song played and golden energy flowed through the shaman, having the intended effect. This shaman also nodded his head and then disappeared. Version Three I was facing a shaman with blood red robes on, his face was mostly concealed within the red hood, but I could see his eyes, and they were burning like they had fire in them… it sounded like he was growling from inside the hood. I'm not sure if it was real or imagined, but I thought I saw fangs inside the hood, the light glinted off his fangs… He was attacking me with dark energy, it looked like his base energy was dark energy, he was throwing balls of dark energy at me. I deflected the energy balls back at him and he absorbed them back into himself. Now I could clearly hear he was laughing at me… I was about to start fighting him, but no… he also had a spark… I needed another healing spell… I focused on the one that seemed right for the situation, and that one was Until It Sleeps by Metallica. The song played through, and the healing took its effect as in the previous two situations. My Until It Sleeps spell was using dark energy, which was clearly the shaman's base energy, and the spell had automatically matched that energy. The stable dark energy flowed through the shaman, bring about the healing effect. Once healed, the shaman removed his hood, nodded his head, then disappeared. I was now back in the park with the present day MoSh and the don Juan from his dream. MoSh was looking at me strangely, I wondered if I had been gone very long, I wondered if it had even been noticeable that I had been gone… I looked over at don Juan, I was going to say something, but I didn't get a chance before five spirits appeared, the five from the shamans I had encountered, they were all standing in a circle around don Juan. One by one, the shaman spirits merged into each other until there was just one left, and he was no longer a spirit, he looked very solid. And don Juan seemed to know this man, it looked like they were friends. I wondered who this new man was, I wondered how he (they?) had known don Juan. The other man turned around and disappeared into thin air as he walked away, and then don Juan turned back to me. I was wondering what the message had been, I asked him… he said that if I was to examine the events of this dream more closely that the message hidden within would become clear to me. He said now it was time for me to wake up, I had been doing a lot of dreaming in just a single hour of sleep… just an hour? I wondered if that was possible, and then I woke and found I truly had only been sleeping for an hour…
This is the second dream I had on April 29th, 2010. Dream starts off with me and my friend Becky atop a mountain at night. It is night time and we are in a desolate mountain range as there are only forest covered mountains on either side of us as far as the eye can see in all directions. The full moon is our only illumination. There is an old Victorian style mansion halfway down the mountain so we walk there. Despite the remote location, the mansion is a popular destination for touists and the place is full of people. People come and go in and out of the building almost nonstop even though it is the middle of the night. The thing is though, that the sign advertising the mansion is considered cursed and no one will touch the fallen lettering on the outside of the building, even though everyone wants to see it restored. I think belief in curses is ridiculous so I go over and rehang the fallen lettering. Everyone, including my friend, now believes that I am now somehow cursed and will not come near me. In fact I am forced to leave by being chased off the property and have to wander the mountains alone. The dream kind of changes. My physical appearance changes to that of a young man dressed in primitive animal furskins rags and though I am still in the vast mountain range in which this dream started, my friend and the mansion (and all the other people) have disappeared and I am in the post-apocalyptic world that the first dream took place in - except it is a few hundred years later and things have gotten so bad that humans have reverted into primitive warring tribes living off the land. I wander through the vast mountain for ages, hungry and alone until I come across a small tribe of people living in some caves on the side of a particularily steep mountain. They are initially suspicious of me and keep my at bay until I convince them that I am unarmed, lost and hungry. I find out by chatting to a few people that the tribe are Goddess worshippers who have exiled themselves from the rest of the world so that they could practice their faith in peace since most of the other tribes still ascribe to the "archaic" patriarchal Abrahamic religions and still violently war with each other because of it. The chief of this tribe, an elderly lady who looks as old as the mountains themselves, tells me that they have revived the Goddess religion of human pre-history because the fighting between the warlike patriarchal religions are why civillization collapsed and brought about the apocalypse in the first place. They live on the seculded mountain range to avoid persecution. After talking to the chieftess I am welcomed to stay with the tribe and encouraged to participate in a competition of strength and skill between the men. The winner will be hailed as the Protector Hero of the tribe and be rewarded with the responsibilty of guarding the tribe's safety, which is a huge honour for them. I protest at first because even though my dream character has changed into someone other than the me of reality, I still think I am female even though I now have a male body. The tribe tease me for as a man it is appalling to them that I back down from a challange, but I have no idea how to explain to them that I have a girl spirit inside my male body. Someone suggests that I am a good candidate for Protector Hero because of my modesty (which is very Goddess-like) and every tribesperson seems to agree except for two. Amidst the men of the tribe a young, muscular man appears and challenges the tribe's eagerness to bless me without the trials of the competition. He seems a few years my elder, but is extremely handsome and my girlspirit instantly develops a crush on him. The other man is a shaman of the tribe who also happens to be the uncle of the challenger. I agree that it is not fair for any titles to be bestowed without testing the strength and skill of all competitors and insist that I am not participating in the challange anyway. The men scoff and say that I cannot refuse as it is the way of their tribe and as a new member I have no choice to comply lest I be expelled to survive on my own. The young man tells me his name is Atka and we set off immediately for the first challenge which is a deer hunt in a nearby forested valley. Every man is successful in catching a deer for the tribe to eat except me, partly because I have no idea how to hunt with a bow and arrow and the deer I was about to shoot at is quickly shot first by Atka who was hiding in some nearby bushes. I stalk another deer but it too is claimed by quick and hidden Atka. I score a deer finally but I am not strong enough to carry it over my shoulder like all the other men and have to abandon it where it lay. Atka, carrying a deer over each shoulder, jeers at me. He considers me an intruder and a rival - for he was the favoured candidate to become the next Protector Hero of the tribe until I showed up. I am determined to win the next part of the challenge, just so he'll notice me in a good way because my girlspirit is still going gaga over him. I am the only one to return to the camp without a deer. After we have eaten and night has fallen I am sitting alone by the fire, unable to sleep, when Atka's shaman uncle approaches me and tempts me with magical gifts that would supposedly assist me in winning the competition. When I refuse the magical gifts (because the dubious and suspicious offer is way too obviously a trick) he then offers to make the most beautiful woman in the tribe fall in love with me if I throw the challenge. When I too refuse that he becomes enraged and summons some shadowy spirits from the surrounding forest to attack me. I grab my bow and shoot at the shadows, but they are hard to see in the flickering light of the dying fire, and being noncorporal spirits, the arrows go right through them (though somehow they are able to hurt me). I begin shooting arrows in a panic in all directions and the shadowy spirits suddenly retreat as one of my frantic shots strikes the shaman in the chest. He howls in pain then quickly retreats into the night. I am afraid that I will be driven from the tribe for injuring one of their reveared shamans, (and be forever hated by the heartthrob Atka for hurting his uncle) but no one emerges from the caves to investigate the ruckus. The next challenge occurs the next day at dawn. The remaining shamans of the group (Atka's uncle is no where to be found, but equally no one save Atka seems to miss him and I am still too scared of being driven from the tribe to confess the events of the night) demand that all participants perform a miraculous event saying that if we are favoured by the Goddess that nothing is impossible. One by one all of the participants fail to do anything special and are eliminated from the competition until only Atka and I are left. I am to go first so I will myself into the shape of a fish and plonk myself into a nearby stream and start swimming around. Atka tries to one up me by transforming himself into an otter, leaping into the same stream and catching me in his teeth. He surfaces and shows off to the men who appaud wildly because not only am I trapped in his mouth as a fish, but I am also trapped in the body of the fish whilst he has a hold of me and he is yet able to revert back to his human form. He tosses me around in the air a few times to make his point before throwing me back into the stream, where I am able to finally revert to normal. The men all have a good laugh at my expense. Point to Atka. The next challange consists of Atka and I having to climb down the steep side of the mountain with no protective gear or ropes, pick a rare red flower that grows in the valley below and then returning up the mountain again. It is a race as well as a test of physical endurance. It is midday and the sun glaring down upon the bare mountain side feels like it is going to bake me alive because unlike Atka, I did not strip off my furskin top before beginning the challenge - add this to the extreme physical exertion needed to cling to the rockface I begin sweating like crazy. Though Atka is older and more muscular than I, he is under no stress whatsoever, even though I am ahead at first. Eventually my hands are sweating too much and my body too tired for me to carry on and I silently conceed defeat and start climbing back up the mountain. As I pass Atka, he strikes out with a hearty fist and knocks my block off, and knocks me right off the block. I am pretty sure I am falling to my death and though I am not scared I resign myself to my fate. I don't feel any anger towards Atka, though I do ponder the contradiction between the peacefullness of the tribe and his overly aggressive competitiveness. It is a long drop but when I hit the bottom I kind of bounce off something soft and coushy. I have landed on the rare red flower that I am supposed to retrieve except I have a new dilemma now because the flower is absolutely massive, being the size of a VW Microbus. I lay on my rose bed and contemplate for a moment what to do next (and enjoy the cool breeze while I catch my breath). Atka is still a ways up the mountain so I know I have time. Remembering how I transformed into the fish I climb off the giant rose and will myself to grow in size so that I am as tall as the mountains. I mearly have to pluck the rose from the ground (which is now the size of the nail on my pinkyfinger) and place it on the mountain ledge where the tribe is waiting. Atka is not yet completely down the mountain but he decides to copy me and lets himself fall off. Before he is able to grow himself large and copy my feat I am able to revert back to my normal size and land on the ledge where the rose is, which also shrinks to a normal rose size. The tribe welcomes my return and Atka begrudgingly follows shortly after. This round to me, but we are not done yet as there is one more challenge apparently. Before it can be explained Atka's uncle returns and accuses me of asking him to help me cheat as well as trying to kill him the night before. I don't have any proof that reality is the reverse and figure that the tribe will take the word of a respected shaman over the word of an outsider anyway. I also don't have proof that Atka punched me in the face and knocked me off the mountainside and my girlspirit is heartbroken because of what he did. I meet the accusations with bitter silence because I am angry, frustrated and despondant. Just as I expect, the tribe asks me to leave when I cannot refute the allegations. Still clinging the rose I retreived at the bottom of the mountain I am escorted by the men of the tribe to a path that leads away from the tribal camp and told never to return. Atka looks on without saying anything, his facial expression stern and unreadable. My girlspirt surges up one more time and I shyly offer him the rose, not sure how he'll respond to what looks like a guy offering him a flower. After a brief and almost akward silence, he accepts the gift and even smiles at me. Suddenly the mountain begins to shake violently and everyone is thrown to the ground. The shaking stops after a few moments and I stand and put my head literaly into a cloud. The mountain has doubled in size and now towers over all others in the entire mountain range. Everyone starts jumping up and down and cheers. Apparently I just passed the final challenge by allowing my heart to reugn over my mind, and thus elevated the entire tribe to Nirvana or something. It is revealed that the whole tribe knows about Atka and his uncle attacking me and the test was about forgiveness or something, which I did in the end and magically I am transformed back into a woman. The end of the dream becomes distorted and fragmented and I cannot remember anymore.
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