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After some hours of sleep I awake for the second time. Birds are singing, there is heavy rain on the roof. Optimal for an SSILD session, I think. But during the first vision cycle images start to appear, so I switch to WILD and follow the imagery that densifies before my inner eye: an old room equipped with some furniture and a CRT TV. It only shows white noise first, then even on the TV images appear. I zoom in, trying to get myself sucked completely into the scene. My vision now shows a closeup of the TV and its programme. I can "switch channels" by turning pages like in a newspaper. A warehouse store catches my attention, it's a shopping location like Metro. I chose that to stay and finally manage to get into the dream with a full dream body which allows me to walk around. While I wander through rows of shelves with food and non-food products, I ponder what to do. Waking life mind is still strong, so I need to use that quickly. It's quite dark, so I will more light. It works! With more light, there seem to be also more DCs doing their business. I walk to to more quiet row and start my three step. I look at my empty left hand (which is properly sized, has only 5 fingers, even the lines are there and fingerprints), reach out with it and will an egg into existence. It appears, and it is sooooo small. Wtf will hatch from that egg, it's only the size of my little finger's pad?! I concentrate on that egg and in my mind I say "na dann schlüpf mal, kleines Ei!" (hatch!). It complies, with a funny sweet cracking sound a hummingbird makes its way out of the egg. Wings inflated, the creature is half the size of my palm and starts to hover in front of me soon after it got out of the shell of the egg. I laugh: How am I supposed to ride on that?! I manage after trying hard for some time to somehow resize it up to the size of a calf, it now reaches up to my hips. But getting onto that swirrling birdy proved to be difficult. Even more difficult is to control the animal sitting on it. It feels strange, I feel no connection. When riding a horse, I can feel it, communicate with weight, balance and intent - sitting on this bird is like it's not there, like sitting on densified, touchable air. The only impression I get is it being uncomfortable. With its size? Pondering how to proceed I lose the dream and awake.

It was very late at night, everything was very dark, and there was only small amounts of light projected from yellow lamps. It was some sort of sleep over to get together and try and improve our lucid powers, or something of the sort. The room was large, had a slanted roof, and there were bunk beds. Two of the teachers from my school came in and yelled at us for trying it, and telling us that it was a bad idea and irresponsible. I then remember being scared of something dark, like a shadow in my hallway which was just outside the room. I think this connects to the next dream, somehow. There is a large gap missing, though.

There was some kind of tournament about water guns and toys. The beginning of this is missing to me, but I know we were completing challenges of some sort. We were standing a platform like a bridge, over the top of a large pool, illuminated with green pool lights. I believe the objective of this test was to jump off the bridge and into the water (I remember SOMEONE jumping into the water). Watto or Toby was spending the time here with Michelle, who was dating someone else at the time, and the other was quite angry about it, and stormed off in the other direction, to my right, away from the edge of the platform. I don't remember jumping in, I think I loitered here for a while. The dream skips, and I have glimpses of walking a long a very dark field of grass. It reminds me a lot of school camp a few years ago.

The dream skips again, and now it is day, almost as though it was morning, the sun was shining through the trees very nicely. It was reminiscent of my friend Cameron's backyard, but slightly different. Everyone had waterguns, and were spraying each other with them. Even though it was morning, the water wasn't cold, and was quite pleasant. A lot of people were there, and Hamish sprayed me in the face with a large gun, or the hose. Jake thought he had a watergun, but turned out he had found a lawn sprinkler instead, and everyone laughed. This is where the dream ends.


Starting to notice a lot of my dreams contain references to water, perhaps a possible dream sign.

In the time I was having this dream, my friend f0rceez became lucid for the first time, and managed to teleport to me in his dream by thinking about my aura the way Hyu described. He found me standing next to a brick wall, with Toby, one of the people in my dream, who walked away when he arrived. He held his hand over his face to cover one eye, to draw my attention to the image of an eye, the symbol I use to remind myself to RC. I simply laughed at him, in his dream.

The image of the brick wall also appeared in my other friend's first lucid dream when they tried to find me, and I woke up that night with no recall of a dream, but the image of a brick in my mind.

Can anyone offer some advice as to what the brick wall may represent? I've been worried about having 2 days of no recall, and going 12 days without a lucid dream, but the wall appearing in two people's dreams associated with me? Perhaps I need to break it down.

This is the second dream I had on April 29th, 2010.


Dream starts off with me and my friend Becky atop a mountain at night. It is night time and we are in a desolate mountain range as there are only forest covered mountains on either side of us as far as the eye can see in all directions. The full moon is our only illumination. There is an old Victorian style mansion halfway down the mountain so we walk there. Despite the remote location, the mansion is a popular destination for touists and the place is full of people. People come and go in and out of the building almost nonstop even though it is the middle of the night. The thing is though, that the sign advertising the mansion is considered cursed and no one will touch the fallen lettering on the outside of the building, even though everyone wants to see it restored. I think belief in curses is ridiculous so I go over and rehang the fallen lettering. Everyone, including my friend, now believes that I am now somehow cursed and will not come near me. In fact I am forced to leave by being chased off the property and have to wander the mountains alone.

The dream kind of changes. My physical appearance changes to that of a young man dressed in primitive animal furskins rags and though I am still in the vast mountain range in which this dream started, my friend and the mansion (and all the other people) have disappeared and I am in the post-apocalyptic world that the first dream took place in - except it is a few hundred years later and things have gotten so bad that humans have reverted into primitive warring tribes living off the land. I wander through the vast mountain for ages, hungry and alone until I come across a small tribe of people living in some caves on the side of a particularily steep mountain. They are initially suspicious of me and keep my at bay until I convince them that I am unarmed, lost and hungry. I find out by chatting to a few people that the tribe are Goddess worshippers who have exiled themselves from the rest of the world so that they could practice their faith in peace since most of the other tribes still ascribe to the "archaic" patriarchal Abrahamic religions and still violently war with each other because of it. The chief of this tribe, an elderly lady who looks as old as the mountains themselves, tells me that they have revived the Goddess religion of human pre-history because the fighting between the warlike patriarchal religions are why civillization collapsed and brought about the apocalypse in the first place. They live on the seculded mountain range to avoid persecution.

After talking to the chieftess I am welcomed to stay with the tribe and encouraged to participate in a competition of strength and skill between the men. The winner will be hailed as the Protector Hero of the tribe and be rewarded with the responsibilty of guarding the tribe's safety, which is a huge honour for them. I protest at first because even though my dream character has changed into someone other than the me of reality, I still think I am female even though I now have a male body. The tribe tease me for as a man it is appalling to them that I back down from a challange, but I have no idea how to explain to them that I have a girl spirit inside my male body. Someone suggests that I am a good candidate for Protector Hero because of my modesty (which is very Goddess-like) and every tribesperson seems to agree except for two. Amidst the men of the tribe a young, muscular man appears and challenges the tribe's eagerness to bless me without the trials of the competition. He seems a few years my elder, but is extremely handsome and my girlspirit instantly develops a crush on him. The other man is a shaman of the tribe who also happens to be the uncle of the challenger. I agree that it is not fair for any titles to be bestowed without testing the strength and skill of all competitors and insist that I am not participating in the challange anyway. The men scoff and say that I cannot refuse as it is the way of their tribe and as a new member I have no choice to comply lest I be expelled to survive on my own. The young man tells me his name is Atka and we set off immediately for the first challenge which is a deer hunt in a nearby forested valley.

Every man is successful in catching a deer for the tribe to eat except me, partly because I have no idea how to hunt with a bow and arrow and the deer I was about to shoot at is quickly shot first by Atka who was hiding in some nearby bushes. I stalk another deer but it too is claimed by quick and hidden Atka. I score a deer finally but I am not strong enough to carry it over my shoulder like all the other men and have to abandon it where it lay. Atka, carrying a deer over each shoulder, jeers at me. He considers me an intruder and a rival - for he was the favoured candidate to become the next Protector Hero of the tribe until I showed up. I am determined to win the next part of the challenge, just so he'll notice me in a good way because my girlspirit is still going gaga over him. I am the only one to return to the camp without a deer. After we have eaten and night has fallen I am sitting alone by the fire, unable to sleep, when Atka's shaman uncle approaches me and tempts me with magical gifts that would supposedly assist me in winning the competition. When I refuse the magical gifts (because the dubious and suspicious offer is way too obviously a trick) he then offers to make the most beautiful woman in the tribe fall in love with me if I throw the challenge. When I too refuse that he becomes enraged and summons some shadowy spirits from the surrounding forest to attack me. I grab my bow and shoot at the shadows, but they are hard to see in the flickering light of the dying fire, and being noncorporal spirits, the arrows go right through them (though somehow they are able to hurt me). I begin shooting arrows in a panic in all directions and the shadowy spirits suddenly retreat as one of my frantic shots strikes the shaman in the chest. He howls in pain then quickly retreats into the night. I am afraid that I will be driven from the tribe for injuring one of their reveared shamans, (and be forever hated by the heartthrob Atka for hurting his uncle) but no one emerges from the caves to investigate the ruckus.

The next challenge occurs the next day at dawn. The remaining shamans of the group (Atka's uncle is no where to be found, but equally no one save Atka seems to miss him and I am still too scared of being driven from the tribe to confess the events of the night) demand that all participants perform a miraculous event saying that if we are favoured by the Goddess that nothing is impossible. One by one all of the participants fail to do anything special and are eliminated from the competition until only Atka and I are left. I am to go first so I will myself into the shape of a fish and plonk myself into a nearby stream and start swimming around. Atka tries to one up me by transforming himself into an otter, leaping into the same stream and catching me in his teeth. He surfaces and shows off to the men who appaud wildly because not only am I trapped in his mouth as a fish, but I am also trapped in the body of the fish whilst he has a hold of me and he is yet able to revert back to his human form. He tosses me around in the air a few times to make his point before throwing me back into the stream, where I am able to finally revert to normal. The men all have a good laugh at my expense. Point to Atka.

The next challange consists of Atka and I having to climb down the steep side of the mountain with no protective gear or ropes, pick a rare red flower that grows in the valley below and then returning up the mountain again. It is a race as well as a test of physical endurance. It is midday and the sun glaring down upon the bare mountain side feels like it is going to bake me alive because unlike Atka, I did not strip off my furskin top before beginning the challenge - add this to the extreme physical exertion needed to cling to the rockface I begin sweating like crazy. Though Atka is older and more muscular than I, he is under no stress whatsoever, even though I am ahead at first. Eventually my hands are sweating too much and my body too tired for me to carry on and I silently conceed defeat and start climbing back up the mountain.

As I pass Atka, he strikes out with a hearty fist and knocks my block off, and knocks me right off the block. I am pretty sure I am falling to my death and though I am not scared I resign myself to my fate. I don't feel any anger towards Atka, though I do ponder the contradiction between the peacefullness of the tribe and his overly aggressive competitiveness. It is a long drop but when I hit the bottom I kind of bounce off something soft and coushy. I have landed on the rare red flower that I am supposed to retrieve except I have a new dilemma now because the flower is absolutely massive, being the size of a VW Microbus. I lay on my rose bed and contemplate for a moment what to do next (and enjoy the cool breeze while I catch my breath). Atka is still a ways up the mountain so I know I have time. Remembering how I transformed into the fish I climb off the giant rose and will myself to grow in size so that I am as tall as the mountains. I mearly have to pluck the rose from the ground (which is now the size of the nail on my pinkyfinger) and place it on the mountain ledge where the tribe is waiting.

Atka is not yet completely down the mountain but he decides to copy me and lets himself fall off. Before he is able to grow himself large and copy my feat I am able to revert back to my normal size and land on the ledge where the rose is, which also shrinks to a normal rose size. The tribe welcomes my return and Atka begrudgingly follows shortly after. This round to me, but we are not done yet as there is one more challenge apparently. Before it can be explained Atka's uncle returns and accuses me of asking him to help me cheat as well as trying to kill him the night before. I don't have any proof that reality is the reverse and figure that the tribe will take the word of a respected shaman over the word of an outsider anyway. I also don't have proof that Atka punched me in the face and knocked me off the mountainside and my girlspirit is heartbroken because of what he did. I meet the accusations with bitter silence because I am angry, frustrated and despondant. Just as I expect, the tribe asks me to leave when I cannot refute the allegations. Still clinging the rose I retreived at the bottom of the mountain I am escorted by the men of the tribe to a path that leads away from the tribal camp and told never to return.

Atka looks on without saying anything, his facial expression stern and unreadable. My girlspirt surges up one more time and I shyly offer him the rose, not sure how he'll respond to what looks like a guy offering him a flower. After a brief and almost akward silence, he accepts the gift and even smiles at me. Suddenly the mountain begins to shake violently and everyone is thrown to the ground. The shaking stops after a few moments and I stand and put my head literaly into a cloud. The mountain has doubled in size and now towers over all others in the entire mountain range. Everyone starts jumping up and down and cheers. Apparently I just passed the final challenge by allowing my heart to reugn over my mind, and thus elevated the entire tribe to Nirvana or something. It is revealed that the whole tribe knows about Atka and his uncle attacking me and the test was about forgiveness or something, which I did in the end and magically I am transformed back into a woman. The end of the dream becomes distorted and fragmented and I cannot remember anymore.