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Morning of December 24, 2015. Thursday.



…And so now it appears that I enter my yearly stage where the heat of our environment has the most influence on my dream states, at least during certain times in the morning.

Yet again, twenty years or so of memories are seemingly randomly scrambled in the dream state (of course, only certain stages of certain dream states). I am at least living with my wife Zsuzsanna and our children but we are apparently living in some sort of altered version of the Loomis Street house (unlike any other altered version I had seen in any previous dream). A variation of the large reverse-L-shaped closet (that joins two bedrooms somewhat as a “hallway”) is mostly featured here.

At one point, there seems to be a small fire inside the wall, visible through a small hole. When I go to check out the possible source and exact location (and to see how far it has spread assuming it has) and check the other side of the wall, there is an odd “secret” panel built into the wall which I may or may not have known of before, accessible from the front small bedroom (but still hard to reach through to), where there are two cream-colored dials (similar to the design of a 1960s radio), one above the other by about four inches and around the level of my lower chest. Each dial seems connected to some sort of isolated door-latch-like feature slightly above it, in a shallow recess. I am aware, oddly enough, that each dial controls a particular door elsewhere in the house, one being the bathroom, I think, and another, a different bedroom. In order to fully get to the dials, I need to unscrew two screws at opposite vertical ends of the panel. The act of doing this is very “realistic” and palpable, as well as with no time distortions (or typical dream “shortcuts”). I put the two screws on a shelf in the closet at about shoulder level. When I notice a sink in the closet (as if for a bathroom) it does not seem out of place. Regarding the two screws, it seems one is sliver and one is gold. (On a side note, the act of unscrewing two or more screws with such an extreme level of focus, clarity, and tangibility, seems to be something that has only happened in my dreams over the past couple of years or so - it may relate to “opening up” other levels of consciousness though this is not certain.)

When I have easier access, the dials seem to be damaged from either lack of use or from the fire, which I do not presently see. There is some powdery substance around each small “latch” which seems to possibly be disintegrated wood or ash, seemingly causing the dial to not work as it should. I try to see if I can shut the relevant door located in another room by turning one dial, but it is difficult. I ask my wife to check, but nothing seems to be happening other than the other door slightly swaying. The remote shutting of a door in another part of the house by using a small dial built inside a wall is an intriguing concept and I think this is the first time it has featured as such in a dream (at least with more clarity). Still, how would I know when the door was actually open or shut (or locked) without a partner telling me from another room - otherwise I would have to wander back and forth numerous times (I think there is a “message” here somewhere). Apparently, if the latch-like feature above the dial clicks into a certain position (at “12 o'clock), I assume that means the unseen door in another room is shut - but again, it does not seem to work, the feel of the dial being too "soft” where it should probably click in its operation related to the other small feature.

I am annoyed by the failure of the dials to operate either door, either in opening them or in keeping them closed and possibly even locked. I eventually notice a large fire under the sink (with no doors under the sink) again, inside the closet, facing east, where the closet door is. The fire is “supposed” to be there it seems, but seems just a bit too large and shooting out from the sides somewhat. (Of course, there was no sink - or a furnace - in this closet in reality.) My friend Rick S is in the house, possibly just visiting us, and I ask him to turn down the thermostat while I still examine the dials. Eventually, in addition to the adjustment near the sink-furnace composite I realize that the two dials are probably related to the thermostats in two different adjacent rooms rather than what I originally assumed them to be for. No wonder there has been a fire. The dials need to be turned back counterclockwise to at least “10 o'clock” so that the fire and heat is not as extreme.

This dream is based on some real-life associations; firstly, the extreme heat, secondly, several of the doors in this house have always been problematic, opening up shortly after closing them (the back door and bathroom door in fact, needing to be locked to keep them closed - otherwise they will just pop open), and thirdly, one of the doors below the sink is off and needs to be replaced or reset with different holes and screws.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was standing in a corridor that looked like it had a wheelchair ramp built into it. The wall I faced was a window wall, extending all the way down the corridor. There may have been a hairpin turn along the wall to get to a tiny, glass-walled space before the exit door.

I probably stood right at the door, inside the building. Outside stood a family. They were all telling me goodbye. The family was white, kind of well-off-looking. There were an older dad, probably a mom, and a bunch of other people.

There were two little girls in the family, and I may have been attracted to the littler one. She may have been five or six years old.

I took some chance to hug the little girl. I had a feeling that if I hugged her, we could both share our feelings of attraction for one another in some secret way. I was sure she was attracted to me, too. But I didn't want to get in trouble for showing my feelings.

Later on I may have been in some cafe. I may have been sitting at a table with a white boy. The table we sat at was against a wall. I sat on one end of the table so that the wall was to my right. The boy sat at the adjacent end, so that he faced the wall.

He was probably gay. He was tall, kind of pretty. He had his hair shaved really close on the sides and then kind of flowing on top. He wore a grey jacket, and he may have had the collar of the jacket turned up.

The boy was kind of stuck-up, it seemed to me. I was pretty sure he hated me. I didn't want to bother him. But I was also kind of angry that he acted so stuck-up. I felt threatened, and I wanted to prove somehow that I wasn't threatened.

I was now back with the family at the door. The older sister was now talking to me. The older sister was maybe ten or eleven years old. She had blonde-brown hair and tan skin. She wore a white skirt and a turquoise tank-top.

The older sister told me that the little sister had gotten sick or something, so she couldn't hug anybody. So the older sister would have to hug me instead.

I knew that the older sister was attracted to me. I knew that she thought if she could just get a chance to hug me, she'd make me attracted to her instead of to her little sister.

I hugged the girl. She wasn't skinny, but her body, around her waist, felt strong. I did feel like I was attracted to her. But I didn't want her family to know. I didn't want to get in trouble.

I walked out the door with the family. I either held hands with the older sister or managed to do something with her like lift her up onto my shoulders, so she was riding on my shoulders.

Everybody in the family seemed pretty happy. For some reason, I asked the girl something either like, "If you knew this was the last day of your life, what would you do?" or, "If this were the last day of your life, could you truly say you've died happy?"

I was now back in the cafe with the tall, white boy. I had apparently asked him some question as well. He was writing something in a notebook. His handwriting was mostly capital letters, very blocky, in something like black, felt-tip pen. But he was also answering me. I had a feeling that he was finally coming around to liking me.

Then another boy sat across the table from me. He had olive skin and black hair, with his bangs kind of spiked down a bit over his forehead. He wore a brownish sweatshirt. He also seemed to be gay.

The first boy had at some point gone to open the door of the cafe so that some cool air could flow in. But the second boy sat next to the thermostat. He turned up the heat.

The first boy asked the second boy if he'd turned up the heat. The second boy said he had. It wasn't clear whether he'd done it because the open door was making him cold or because he wanted to keep the heat at a level that was sure to annoy the first boy.

The first boy stood up to go close the cafe door, assuming that if he did that, the second boy would turn down the thermostat. But as he stood up, the first boy said to the second boy, "You know, I'm really beginning to despise you."