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    1. 16 Sep: Museum inauguration, whales and a catastrophe in New York

      by , 09-16-2019 at 09:41 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      Going with friends to a museum. It's some inauguration night. As soon as I arrive there I go look for a toilet and I separate from them. I see a sign indicating toilet on the 2nd floor. Some black kid is also going that direction but he keeps going up the stairs into the next floor, which is pitch dark. Even the area of the toilet entrance is very dark and I can barely see. I don't get to pee because the kid comes running and screaming that he is being chased by three African warriors with spears. I think it's probably actors hired to enact for the event, but when I hear their footsteps and see the shapes of these men, I also get scared and run after the kid. Back to the ground floor where there is light and other people we feel safe and the truth is they stopped chasing us, but the kid is still in absolute panic and holds on to me crying. I ask for his parents but he can't reply, he froze and says nothing. I go around with him on my arms, trying to spot someone looking for him. I think about going to the reception so they announce a lost kid through the speakers, but then spot my friends and my dad. They help look around. I then spot a group of black girls a bit older, but for some reason I feel that they might know him and ask them if they know the kid. They kinda know him and tell me he is with a white lady that runs a charity for orphan kids. They are from another similar group, both came together to this event. They lead me to her and she knows him but seems a bit spaced out, not worried at all about the kid. She wants to show me a scrap book she made all about herself, totally boring. I leave the kid with her, but I bonded with him so much I am thinking about looking how to adopt him.
      Meanwhile my dad finds another toilet where I could go, but there is a puma on the lose on that area, according to him. I don't see a puma but I see 3 or 4 lionesses running down the corridor and I jump on a balcony to escape them. They were not after me. They seem domesticated and I see them interacting with visitors and not even attacking their dogs, but I still prefer to keep my distance. So I go outside with my friends and there is an aquarium like the Sea World, with a series of tanks with whales. The whales are somewhat entertained playing a new game with balls with their trainer, but the tank is ridiculously small for so many whales. It has a canal that possibly connects to other tanks so we follow to see if they have better conditions on the next tank just to find a dying whale in a very shallow water area. We look around for help, but nobody is there, so we shout at people at a distance that a whale is dying. My dad mocks me because I say in English that the whale is thirsty, instead of saying she has no water. Anyway, the tank is emptying because something cracked it and the water got out. Soon after we hear a big explosion and behind us there is this iconic Wall Street tall building with with columns. A cloud of dust and smoke explodes to outside and debris are being projected in our direction. I say sorry to the whale that we can't save her and suggest we take the emptied canal as a shortcut to run away from the explosion. It is a good idea until we hear what seems the other tank uphill cracking and putting us in danger of being washed away. We run faster and get out of it. We reach some streets where everyone in panic dropped everything. I see a bunch of jewelry on the ground and pick it up. But then I realize it slows me down and say to myself that this greed will kill me. I still don't toss it out. I evaluate my safety, realize I am out of harms way and keep the jewels. Then we reach Central Park and it is all burned down to the ground and covered in ashes.

      Updated 10-09-2019 at 10:21 PM by 34880

      Categories
      non-lucid
    2. 22 Aug: My guru throws me a grenade and fire in a festival in Brazil

      by , 08-22-2019 at 10:12 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      I pass through a small secondhand fair. One lady is annoyingly wanting me to buy a book collection from her. I get away and enter a war game simulation area. But it turns real pretty quickly, as soon as I realize the bullets shot are real ammunition. I pick a gun from a guy on the ground, presumably dead and I go upstream along a river. End up in a garden with people dancing. No war here. But I was followed by a guy that threatens everybody with a grenade. He arms it and throws it at me. I try that trick from the movies, of kicking it away. But then Rinpoche comes out of nowhere once again, catches it and after throwing me a defying look, throws it back at me. I feel like "Whaaaat?" and panic a little bit. But almost immediately realize, with my absolute trust in my guru, that this grenade represents no danger and that I can do whatever with it. So I hold it in my hands and try to turn it into a lotus flower. Unfortunately all I succeed in doing is turning it into sort of a flower made of rags. I feel disappointed, but then Rinpoche approaches me and turns these rags into a tent and invites me to step inside it with him.

      With my parents having vacations in Brazil. We go to some festival which is in a semi rural and forested area in the outskirts of a little town. Soon after we arrived, we start seeing smoke from distant fires in the forest. We discuss how it might get dark sooner because of it. But we think we're safe. It seems very distant.
      I see banners from locals supporting Bolsonaro and I feel angry. I make a nasty comment and some man hears and he's not happy. I tell him that I love Brazil and its people, but I just can't accept that man they chose for president. Later we're walking through a street with restaurants and I spot some curtains of a place, on fire. Then look around and also see some vegetation on fire. As I raise the alarm, we notice there are fires spreading a bit everywhere, from sparks coming through the air from far away. We decide to grab our things and leave this area before it gets serious. But general panic ensues and to make things worse, as we head to the car in the parking lot at the entrance of the venue, there are landslides and large boulders falling onto the road we're taking and people are getting blocked. For a while I lose my parents in the crowd, but soon after my mom appears. As we find a safe way out, she complains about the things I chose to bring on our backpack and I don't get why she is commenting that until I realize we can't go back to our tent to get most of our stuff that we left behind and I feel awful for that.
    3. Thursday, July 25

      by , 08-03-2019 at 06:04 PM
      I am camping at Frenchmans with Melissa and I think one other. We are sitting around the fire pit, and there’s quite a bit of stuff set up around it, like we’re here for a while or just well prepared. I’m not sure if there’s a fire going or not. It seems to be dusk or nearing dark. I think I’m going to start the fire now. I put down some paper materials for starters, but then I can’t find any wood. I bring it up to Melissa, and she has a brief look of realization. She says she forgot to bring it. I’m not sure what to do, then Melissa says she saw some in the trailer. That does sound right, so I go to check. The trailer feels more like a big car, but still partially like a trailer. I climb in and onto what seems to be the back seats. It seems more like a bed, a bed that could fit about two. It seems kinda comfy, and I think about sleeping with Melissa in here instead. I find the firewood and it is all on top of two folded down seats, shaped almost like it is serving as the seats instead. I wonder if I should really be taking any if it is serving a purpose here. I think that most likely Opa placed it like this. I end up pulling a few pieces out, most smaller but one longer. The wood is darker in color, thin, and not very heavy.




      I am at work, going back on video to look for something, when I inadvertently see two guys arbitrarily grabbing Levis like they’re going to do a grab and run. I notice that one is wearing a backpack. Now I am out on the floor and right by them. I think just my walking by is enough to get them to drop the merchandise. They go over by men’s shoes and I think out an emergency exit door that’s open. Another man is standing by the door, sort of like a look out. He is wearing a white rabbit mask. It looks like a plain and rudimentary mask with just a strap on the backside, yet the effect is somewhat unnerving and intimidating. I don’t exactly want to go over there. I call Scott over the radio to see if he’s seeing this. From the way he says no, I assume he was not watching all along. I assume he’s pulling it up on camera now.
    4. 4 Jun: Flirting with the devil, Gilmore Girls and fire at my mom's

      by , 06-04-2019 at 09:31 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      Next door is a guy, which I believe to be a demon. He has a crush on me and has been trying to be my friend but I feel creeped out and have been avoiding him. Me and mom we go to his house on his absence, looking for some evidence, but we have to leave on a hurry and we forget a light on. I imagine him arriving and realizing what we did, and coming full force at us, so I decide going back and take a different approach in case he finds me there, which he does. I pretend to actually wanting to bond with him and say sorry for having entered his home uninvited. He is obviously pleased and invites me to stay. Not sure how well he bought it, but I end up spending some time with him, we watch something on tv and he gets uncomfortably close to me. I look at him and realize he is actually very good looking, with black hair and piercing blue eyes. I decide to focus on that and the fact he's been so friendly, but I can see his true nature just below his skin. I try to be compassionate, but at some point I argue that I really must go. I fear his reaction and for some time later at home I fear he will somehow come after me, like an obsessed psycho, but nothing happens.

      Watching the first episode of a new Gilmore Girls season, but so totally different from the original. Luke and Lorelai are divorced and she became a nun. Rory is blond. And the whole story is sad and boring.

      At my mom's and there is a lot of people with us. My dad is sick in her bed, my friend's daugther Leonor is eating lunch that I provided, but I leave her for a moment and when I come back she is eating a can of cat food. I am shocked at first but then ask her if it is any good. She says it's ok, but not very thrilled. I remove it from the table and scold her. Then some stupid guy is burning things with a lighter, since he heard many household products have flame retardants and wants to test it. He burns the tip of a bed duvet and then the mattress itself. I scold him hard and he just feels disapointed that things really don't go up in flames. But the fact is that they slowly burn anyway and the combustion of the mattress is spreading. I ask my mom for a fire extinguisher. She says the only one she has is being fixed. I then ask for buckets and ask everybody to help. By now, the entire mattress is burning inside and generating heat that is starting flames in the surroundings. We remove all covers and drench it in water and cover the outside flames to extinguish them. I just want to punch the stupid guy who did this.
    5. 8 Dec: Android friend, boat party, wildfires and mutant pet

      by , 12-08-2018 at 11:46 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      I have an android friend, Japanese looking, who I always treat as a human friend. Someday I have somewhere to go and leave her behind without an explanation and she resented me for that, felt treated like an appliance that would be just fine at home alone. She wanted to cut bonds with me. I gave her freedom to act as a human and live her life. Encountered her years later, on a boat, docked on an island, where there's a festival happening.
      She is still angry at me, had been living with guys who used her (I guess as a sex partner) but she had left them one after the other, tired of being constantly treated as an object.
      Very strong wildfires burst in the island leaving everyone in danger.
      In the midst of all these, there is a revelation of documents that finally show how much money Trump got from certain people and lots of people are celebrating his downfall. One lady wants to share the news on a megaphone, when a siren sounds loudly and flames approach the coast. Lots of people come take refuge in ships by the coast and becomes a nightmare to fit so many people in the boats. Chaos ensues and one guys tries to rape me in a dark corner, but I get helped by another guy whom I detest, but on that moment I even feel attracted to him.

      With a bunch of people, many familiar to me, still on a boat, but now things are calmer and on land there is some event with conferences and lectures. A friend of mine comes to tell me that such and such person can't make the lecture he or she was supposed to and they want me to do it instead. I ask about what and she says "Foucault" and I panic, because I know nothing about Foucault. She says they have a powerpoint on a computer and I just need to read it ahead and then follow it. I say no way, but I gotta try and help somehow. So I go running to the conference place, 15 mins ahead to try and read the material and get acquainted with the topic. People are already waiting in the lounge of the auditorium.

      I see an organ (keyboard) and a few chairs by the trash, go get my van to collect it and on returning I see a family emptying their house, so I ask them permission to collect the things they are throwing away. They are extremely nice and invite me to their house to see what they have and help taking it out. I am amazed with the place. I explain my work with charities and that I'd like to take all that I can, they help me pack in bags and carry it outside. They have amazing stuff. They have a weird mutant pet, like Nessie, in a lake outside that reaches inside through a balcony with his long neck. He really likes me and starts licking me. One of the kids says to let it give me a smooch, but others say no, no, because he'll rip my head off. Apparently he gets really excited with some smells and can bite someone's head off.
    6. From Parking Lot to Smoking Newspapers

      by , 10-23-2018 at 08:04 PM
      Morning of October 23, 2018. Tuesday.

      Dream #: 18,936-03. Reading time (optimized): 3 min. Readability score: 69.



      As my non-lucid dream self, holding no viable threads of my real-life identity, I become vividly aware that I am sitting in the back seat, on the left-hand side, of an otherwise empty car in the Village Shopping Center parking lot in La Crosse. It is nighttime. I become aware that the car belongs to my brother-in-law Bob. (I have not had any contact with Bob since 1994, over twenty years ago.) There are only two other cars present.

      An idea comes to my dream self’s fictitious mind that I should go to the driver’s seat and take the car back to the Loomis Street house. I am feeling very cheerful and confident. I get out on the left-hand side and go around to get in the front seat. (This is really about the typical initiating of subliminal control of the dream state and has nothing to do with waking life or “interpretation.”)

      I get behind the driver’s seat. It is difficult to close the car doors, and I try several times. They are flimsy and not like real car doors at all, but are about as efficient as a dream can make something that stems from vivid non-lucidity. (It would have been better letting the dream play itself at this specific point.) I have no idea how to start the car. I have no key. I first consider that it starts like a lawn mower, but I do not see a recoil starter assembly. There is a small metal lever on the left side, below the steering wheel. I put my foot on the gas pedal and wiggle the lever. Gasoline starts pouring from underneath the full length of the dashboard. That concerns me. I do not want to incur the risk of something catching on fire. I get out of the car, and two unfamiliar men get out of their cars and come over to help me. At this point, as the men check over the car, I anticipate an explosion (an attempt at subliminal dream control), and I tell them to move away, but nothing happens.

      I decide to walk to the Loomis Street house. On the way, walking east on the north side of Sill Street, I notice many boxes of magazines on the boulevard. It is a recurring situation where I realize I can take what I want (as I am deliberately though subliminally creating this scenario at its foundation, knowing it is a dream on one level), as it is left out for garbage pickup. It is also late morning. My non-lucid dream self does not register the impossible time change (as is always the case). I find a stack of magazines that are black-and-white collections of Nancy comic strips (by Ernie Bushmiller). Looking around more, I also notice stacks of interior decorating magazines, which I have no interest in at the time. This part of my dream comes from the lifelong practice of trying to initiate viable emerging consciousness threads by focusing on sustained reading skills of which do not ordinarily exist in the dream state.

      I arrive at the Loomis Street house. My sister and mother are there and seem healthy. My dream self has no recall that they are deceased. A minimal thread of my conscious self identity emerges, but it is rather odd. I vaguely recall the concept of marijuana from Nimbin, yet I have no memory that I have lived in Australia for over twenty years or of my real-life status. (Additionally, I would never try drugs in real life under any circumstances, another factor that validates my dream self is not my true conscious self identity.)

      I have some “marijuana” that I smoke with my mother and sister. It is rolled-up full-sized newspapers. There is trouble keeping them rolled up, and they burn with big flames, though I still suck in the fire and smoke. As I focus, I am astounded by my vivified perception, and yet I am not lucid. I start to become puzzled as I enter enigmatic space (a specific level of the dream state). I realize, though vaguely, that there is no marijuana and that smoking newspaper is odd.

      I start to wake, realizing what my dream self had been creating. Fire is the emerging consciousness and often part of the waking process. The newspapers, at least as related to reading them, are the attempt to sharpen my perception, as I had tried to do in the previous dream segment, but it did not initiate lucidity, only revivification.


    7. “You’re Johnny Blaze” (Fantastic “Ghost Rider” Dream)

      by , 09-18-2018 at 02:31 PM
      Morning of September 18, 2018. Tuesday.

      Reading time: 2 min 52 sec. Readability score: 70.



      Still aware of where my physical body is as I sleep, my illusory dream body rises and floats into our lounge room. I remember to focus on our porch for liminal space vivification (enhancement and sharpening of the midpoint between dreaming and waking). However, when I get to the entrance of the lounge room, there is no porch. My dream self is now implied to be corporeal but has distorted physicality. My legs are not viable, so I both fall and partly hover over the stairs, yet I do not wake. I get the impression of another physical form hovering above the ground, of which I bump. It seems to be an unfamiliar male, not very well defined. He is soon gone.

      My dream is extraordinarily vivid but does not shift to the highest level of lucidity. The neighborhood is of a different appearance. Directly across the street to the north are more houses. On the west side of the intersection, I see a flaming man on a flaming motorcycle of which is traveling quite slowly. He is going south. The imagery is eerie but wondrous. I feel a sense of otherworldly awe. The fire is beautiful and increases my awareness of the dream state.

      I anticipate his approach, as I think he will turn around and come back. He does, but eventually, the fire goes out, and he is walking with his motorcycle on my side of the street. As he is walking to the north side of the intersection, I boldly call out, “You’re Johnny Blaze.” He seems puzzled, and crosses back to my side of the street, approaching me. He is wearing a blue motorcycle racing jumpsuit with white stripes down the sides.

      He stands close to me to become Ghost Rider again. I realize he will be able to look deep into my soul and know all there is to know about me. The experience is incredible. It is as if the universe itself is looking into all areas of my existence and personal history. He is a man again, though his eyes are glowing with eternity, infinity, and universality. I notice that flakes of my skin seem to be falling away from the scar on my right thumb, as I look down at it. There is no pain or implied threat.

      Instead of any potential threat, he starts whimpering in appreciation of the life I have lived up to now. He hugs me and seems like a new friend. From here, my level of awareness shifts. I become less lucid as my dream changes into a different form, though the Johnny Blaze character is still present.

      My mother is present, but I do not recall that she had died years ago. She asks me what is going on. I say, “I knew it was a dream, so I went from there,” regarding my description of falling out the door into a vivified scenario. That is very odd though, as I am no longer lucid (yet saying “I knew it was a dream.”)

      As the waking transition starts, Johnny Blaze is no longer carrying the interconsciousness within the rendering. Still, I say, “Watch this,” only loosely expecting Ghost Rider to appear one final time.

      Instead, a wall, like that inside a house, intersects the street, and a door appears in it. There is the common indoor-outdoor ambiguity (the sense of being inside and outside at the same time). Some other dream characters, including my mother, Zsuzsanna, and me, go over to the doorway. Beyond it from our side, we see that Johnny had crashed into a row of wheelie bins and fallen over, though I realize he is not the same character as before, as the interconsciousness had left the dream state right after hugging me (in temporary coalescence and unification). He is on the ground, mostly on his back and turned a bit to the left, looking somewhat surprised and annoyed. I wake quickly from here, finding myself in the same physical position as Johnny had been.

      I should point out that I had held no thoughts of Ghost Rider, either the comic book or movie for a long time. Johnny Blaze was nothing like Nicolas Cage (or any other known actor) in my dream. He was an unfamiliar man of a more athletic build.


      Categories
      memorable , lucid
    8. Setting the Preconscious Avatar Afire

      by , 09-16-2018 at 07:01 PM
      Morning of September 09, 2018. Sunday.

      Reading time: 1 min 18 sec. Readability score: 63.



      I do not usually set the preconscious avatar on fire. It depends upon my acceptance of, and resonance with, the waking process (or how annoyed I might be about waking up in contrast to the more positive willingness) and whether or not vestibular system correlation is a factor of the transition.

      My conscious self identity is not present at the beginning. It starts with a typical bedroom induction. The bedroom is a variation of Gellibrand Street in Brisbane, where we have not lived for many years.

      Curiously, there are several other people in our bed with us, though I do not perceive them as intruders. (Our bed would need to be unrealistically wide to accommodate them, but I do not perceive it as such.) I am aware that the door into the bedroom is open, but it is to the left rather than in the middle of the opposite wall. (I am atypically sleeping on my right side, with my left more exposed to my real environment).

      Two unknown males step into the bedroom. I do not know their intent, but I assume it is intrusive. Having a vague memory of my conscious self identity but not my real-life status, I consider what I should do.

      Becoming aware that I am in the waking process of a dream, I become annoyed (as I had not used the induction process to sustain lucidity). I take hold of what is left of my dream self’s side of liminal space and create the intersection process, which is otherwise the choice to reenter deeper sleep or to wake. However, the feature is two rivers that cross each other perpendicularly rather than streets (though they are about the same size as urban streets). I mentally tie the preconscious avatar and his partner to a post where the rivers cross, mentally douse them with gasoline, and set them on fire. I deliberately fly up and out of the dream state much to my satisfaction.


      Tags: bed, fire, rivers
      Categories
      lucid
    9. viii.

      by , 07-26-2018 at 10:18 AM
      Non-dream stuff: Woke up at 8 but fell asleep again somehow, and the non-lucid dream fragment that follows was after I woke up suddenly at 9:40; I tried to not recall the dream too hard, with positive result:



      Fragment:

      Was going up a small 1-lane ramp at what reminds me now of a school I've been to in waking life. It was day and as I went up the ramp I was fiddling with a box cutter (specifically a black and yellow one I have in waking life) and there was a boy, maybe 10 or 12 in front of me walking the same direction. The light was suddenly changing as I caught up to him and it became night; there were trees and fences to the right and at the immediate left some short buildings; I could see where the road would intersect ahead;

      I said something like "hey, wait up", at first wondering if the sounds of the box cutter scared him, but he didn't seem phased by that. I remember he looked at me and smiled and I asked him "where's your brother? do you know?". The boy said "no, I don't know", and I kept walking along with him and we talked about something; we were getting to an intersection with a town road and suddenly he had a dog on a lead, I'm not sure what kind, but not small and with brown/light brown fur.

      When we got to the intersection, the dog started tugging harder and went to the left and then suddenly it was like they were gone and I walked in the same direction as they'd vanished; I seem to remember that now I had the dog for a few minutes and it was very playful and tugging all the time on the lead (reminds me of my own dog in waking life, though it didn't feel like my dog) and I remember thinking something about the dog playing with a policeman but then the dog was gone again and as I went down the road, over a bend, I saw that some 3 story apartment buildings were damaged;

      I started walking toward them instead and then I remember one of them was quite damaged, like from an explosion, but it almost looked like they were made of very large Lego. I went into a building and the first and second floor were on fire and I kept walking through, up some stairs and then saw like an "interface" notification at the top of my field of view; I mentally clicked it, and the fires nearest me simply got put out; I repeated this a few times before the dream ended. (I was woken up by the already present garbage truck coming closer and getting just slightly louder, and my partner getting up to check on his car)



      Some notes:
      • The area was reminiscent of my native country. This should have been dream-sign especially considering the absence of normal context, like the absence of my partner and my aimless wandering. I was the age I am now.
      • Other than me, the boy, the dog and the "imagined" policeman, there was nobody else in the entire dream sequence.
      • I was walking the whole time. At first this may not seem notable and though I did not feel frightened by anything at any point (such as by the fires, I was indifferent to the situation). And even if I had been afraid, it's not likely I would have run, but instead would have walked faster. This is reminiscent of real-life behaviour where I very rarely run if I'm in a public place, as it makes me feel self-conscious and observed, though the notion was not "consciously" present in my mind at the time in the dream.
      • I have the idea the dog may have been a golden retriever, but I have no clear picture in my mind.
      • I don't know who the boy really was, I think dream-generated, especially as I'm struggling to think of what his face was like and instead remembering the face of a boy in a game I've recently played.
      • I think that before the ramp the fragment starts with me going up, there was water and a pier or something, but I know it was related to the dream sequence that came before.
    10. Another lucid success, DILD!

      by , 07-25-2018 at 05:03 PM (Exterminate)
      My memory is failing me this morning. I remember a few dream fragments, but the full contexts are forgotten. Let's start with the interesting one.

      My family were all doing some sort of secret mission, and I decided to sneak into the van they were driving. Sadly I got caught and they treated me like a stranger and threw me out. I found myself at a gas station in the middle of nowhere, in a snowstorm. I felt something wasn't right. I was so sure this was real, but it just didn't seem like a normal situation I'd found myself in. I did a nose plug reality check, and sure enough I could breathe normally. I was shocked honestly. I have never had a lucid dream hit me this hard, but I just stood there for a bit taking in the scenery. It wasn't much to look at, but I was watching the beautiful snow all around, feeling the cold temperature of it all. I noted how vivid and real it was, and then I decided I wanted to get out of there and go to my dream hub. I walked forward a bit and then reached for the sky. I wanted to fly there this time. I started flying into the sky at what felt like a decent speed...until I looked down and realized I had gone only a few feet and was going very slow. I fell back to the ground and the dream ended.

      I had another dream that took place at the dream hub, but I didn't actually take notice of where I was. I was in a heated argument with a grouchy neighbor. He was very conservative, but very anti-trump. He was arguing something about tulpas and how demonic they are, and I tried explaining how they have nothing to do with magic or witchcraft. Tulpas are basically glorified imaginary friends. Anyway, I recall 2 or 3 vague arguments, but another thing that happened with him was a wooden fence between my house and his. I noticed it was on fire for whatever reason, and though I was trying to extinguish the flames, he thought I caused the fire.
      Tags: cold, fire, snow
      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid , dream fragment
    11. Tuesday, June 12

      by , 07-21-2018 at 08:58 PM
      I am hanging out in a house with Melissa, Daylen, and one other. I am not sure whose house it is. I am sitting a little ways from them, and Daylen is trying to be alone with Melissa. I am not sure why they need to be alone right now, and I’m not really angry, but it does make me feel a little weird. I look up and they are gone. I stay here for a bit, eating one of those glazed chocolate pies as well as one other sweet, but then decide to go outside and find them. This neighborhood consists of similar houses, one street that I can see, and an abundance of lush lawn. It is almost labyrinthine. I start walking along a narrow section of lawn between the houses and spot the three walking along the street up ahead. I crouch-run up to a chain link fence and get down behind it. Melissa is either in front or behind, not too near either of the other guys i now know they are trying to catch Katydids. In fact, two different ones fly up and land on my arms before flying off again. I now head back to the house, and these passages of lawn are now inside. This ‘inside’ seems to be a corridor (with walls of a house?) with the lawn as the floor. It does not proceed straight ahead, but turns slightly in both directions. There are openings along the walls, either to rooms or to full houses. I think that the floor being grass is for fire protection. I imagine a fire coming through here.
      Categories
      Uncategorized
    12. Stopping a Fire by Turning off a Light

      by , 06-18-2018 at 01:18 PM
      Morning of June 18, 2018. Monday.



      In my last dream of today, I enter a short but very vivid scene. I find myself back on the second floor of the King Street mansion, with no memory of my present life other than a subtle recall of Zsuzsanna being my wife. It seems to be the middle room of the east side of the house, where I once lived in real life. Moments before, I had full memory in partial wakefulness of where I was, but this is completely lost upon my short return to sleep.

      The room’s west wall is deeper into the room than the doorway, resulting in a short wall to the right of the doorway when entering the room (a fictitious feature which my dream self does not recognize as wrong). I notice an irregular hole in this wall of which is about a foot above the floor. This puzzles me. Over time, I start to realize that something inside the wall is on fire. It relates to the electricity. Smoke billows from the corner of the wall for a short time (which of course would not be possible as the bottom of the wall is solid to the floor). I sense that the wiring, farther inside from the wall’s outer surface, is on fire. I look at the hole and see it is somehow growing (though is not visibly on fire). (This does not make any sense, as is often the case with dreams. If the wiring is burning, farther back from the wall as such, how could the hole being growing larger on its own?)

      The hole grows downward, elongating and curving right, and soon resembles a reverse J-shape. The hole grows bigger, with a slight sizzling sound. It does not expand outward much, but “burns” downward (yet with no sign of flames) in a line. I decide I need to turn the light off. I flick the switch off and immediately wake.



      A light switch, as with a door, is autosymbolism for reticular activating system mediation of the sleeping and waking process. Typically light, lightning, and fire are consciousness augmentation and initiating the waking process. (Even in real life, if I accidentally drop something on my foot and become suddenly more aware, I will “see lightning”.) However, since early childhood, it has also become analogous to achieving lucidity and dream state revivification through non-lucid dream control or non-lucid manipulation. (Many forms of autosymbolism of reticular activating system mediation can be used to increase lucidity and, by way of the virtuous circle effect and with countless legitimized experiences, result in an entirely different dreaming process than many people experience, including continuous non-lucid dream control where bad dreams are very rare other than when biologically premonitory). In this case, its analogy is simply turning the potential for lucidity off and waking at the same time, as I had already slept a little too long this morning. Otherwise, fire is one of my most common dream features, especially of microdreams and very short dreams. (There will usually be at least one inconsequential microdream of a small fire at the beginning of every sleep cycle, which has been the case since early childhood.)



      Some people, when not wishing to achieve conscious awareness in the dream state, or simply wanting to return to sleep, will have dreams about trying to turn the same light off repeatedly, with little or no success, or of turning off a large number of lights in the same room, resulting in the room being as lit as ever. I have experienced this myself, and ultimately, it is hilarious, despite the intense frustration of the dream self.

      Categories
      non-lucid
    13. Phone on Fire

      by , 06-04-2018 at 11:27 AM
      Night of June 3, 2018. Sunday.



      This brief vivid lucid dream was triggered by a lapse into unconsciousness while I was contemplating liminal space while still semi-conscious. I was actually thinking about a telephone and its autosymbolic meaning in representing potential communication between dream self and conscious self, though was visualizing a rotary telephone sitting on a table with my dream self in the room and my conscious self on the other side of the wall. It is rendered as a simple sketchy diagram (with the correct waking orientation layout, the dream self room with the telephone on the left and my conscious self’s room on the right).

      Eventually, I am within a vivid lucid dream. Zsuzsanna’s cell phone is sitting on the top of the couch and very soon catches on fire for no discernible reason. I find this intriguing and immediately wake.

      No mystery here, as waking processes of shorter dreams since early childhood have often involved fire suddenly starting as consciousness initiation autosymbolism, not quite as common as vestibular system correlation though sometimes combined in waking process synthesis with such as a meteor or falling and burning airplane and many more forms of inherent autosymbolism of which is unrelated to waking life in most cases (other than when prescient or as a literal carryover).

      This is additionally validated by the cell phone being in the fictitious location atop the couch where I had just otherwise had my head in reality prior to going to bed (thus my lucid dream self was focusing on the last place my physical brain was before being in bed in addition to thinking about communication through liminal space of which the cell phone represented).


      Categories
      lucid
    14. Putting out a Fire Above

      by , 05-19-2018 at 10:58 AM
      Morning of January 3, 2017. Tuesday.



      In my dream, I am living in an unknown residence. I am only vaguely aware of my family as they are now. I am in a cold indoor environment in the wintertime (even though it is very warm in real life). To my right is a large hot water heater of an unrealistic design and which nearly reaches the ceiling. There is also a furnacelike feature near the top.

      I have an object that resembles a circuit board. A few wires are sticking out. By rubbing two wires together I can start a fire and make the room warmer. There is a ramp along the wall. After several attempts to get a fire going, a small fire finally starts. The entire circuit board is soon ablaze. I am enjoying it until I notice a couple of additional flames higher up that may or may not have come from my activity with the circuit board.

      There is an unfamiliar young male present at one point. He points out that the hot water tank is now releasing sizzling water. I unplug the hot water tank and the water stops squirting from various areas of the tank, especially near the top.

      I grab a white plastic bucket and fill it with water from the faucet. I fling it upwards but see that I will have to climb up to make sure all the flames are doused. When I get to the top near the ceiling I notice the top of the wall opens into another room. It is like an attic with a low ceiling. An older woman (of perhaps sixty) is sitting close to my side and an unknown young girl is sitting on a couch across the room and reading a book. The fire seems to be going out.

      I apologize to the unknown female but she does not seem angry or annoyed. Looking down at a table in the implied doorway of this unlikely room (though I think it is some sort of open vent that is not meant to serve as a door), I see a Gold Key “Star Trek” comic book (which is a real-life cover of a comic book I have not had in years). The top of the cover’s image is nearest me so is upside-down. There seem to be a couple of burn marks on it and it also appears mostly in grays.

      I say, “Oh, I have this comic book,” and the woman says, “I know, I gave it to you”. This puzzles me at first, but I do not say anything else about the comic book.

      “I had my gloves sitting there,” she says, indicating that she had a pair of gloves sitting on the “Star Trek” comic book. She seems to be implying that the fire had burned them up completely. I tell her that it is unlikely as there were only a few small flames which had gone out quickly. I slowly wake while wondering what else to say.



      Dream state and waking process autosymbolism fully explained here:

      Lucid dreams are not the same as controlled dreams. You can be lucid and not in control of either the dream environment or the dream body. You can direct and modulate the dream without lucidity. Dream control is a separate state than maintaining self-awareness in the dream. Lucid dreaming is not a “skill” (and for me has always been a natural state since earliest memory). Neither is dream control, though it does become fundamental upon understanding dream state autosymbolism and how RAS (reticular activating system) mediation works.

      My dynamic and transient subconscious self in non-lucidity, because of isolation from both my unconscious mind and my conscious self, does not usually possess viable memory of waking life or reasoning skills. The rendering of the hot water heater is a thread of the liminal awareness of my physical body being too warm in my real environment, and is rendered to my dream self’s right as I sleep on my left side (my right more liminally aware of the real environment as a result). The cool fictitious environment is a result of a liminal thread of the conscious desire to be cooler. Additionally, water is autosymbolism for the depth and dynamics of sleep.

      Liminal dream state awareness is inherent (a liminal realization of being in the dream state, yet without being lucid; a result of synaptic OR gating; my conscious self being aware I am dreaming while my dream self is not) and liminal dream control (the circuit board as autosymbolism for RAS mediation). Synaptic gating is triggered from the liminal awareness that water is sleep and fire is waking (achieving consciousness). However, I non-lucidly sustain and control my dream at this point before the preconscious factor renders a young male to caution me on modulating my dream due to my real-life environment being too warm. (This is a “primitive” but very important biological mechanism, just as the autosymbolic call to wake and use the toilet is). “I unplug the hot water tank”. I moderate my intent of dream state sustainment and reinduction, though I still have a tentative desire to sustain my dream by throwing water from a bucket.

      I decide to enter the waking space willingly. I liminally seek out the RAS bulwark and find the liminal space divider (that otherwise separates the dream self identity from the conscious self identity). This is rendered as the unusual opening into what is implied to be an attic and is a form of sustained doorway waking autosymbolism. The attic relates to higher thinking skills (and also has an association with the thalamus in contrast to RAS) that are only viable when awake. RAS personification (as the old woman) is rendered. The usual vestibular system autosymbolism becomes the focus but is rendered in static form as a “Star Trek” comic book cover, which additionally signifies the sustainment of the liminal space transition and the lessening of waking start anticipation (which is typically experienced as the falling sensation of which is solely biological). Additionally, I am in the timeless transpersonal stage where it could be said that the old woman and young girl are both versions of my wife Zsuzsanna on opposite sides of the timeline.

      Personified RAS (transforming into this dream’s emergent consciousness factor) talks about her gloves having been on the comic book. (The fire had gone out, as the waking alert factor is no longer needed.) This is subtle autosymbolism of the knowledge of dream state modulation, as hands and gloves represent potential control of the dream state. There is also the implication of the control of vestibular system dynamics in this case as evidenced by the gloves being atop the static flight symbol imagery. Gloves additionally augment the illusion of physicality. (The dream self does not have a real physical body, and a practice that some lucid dreamers utilize is looking at their hands as a “reality check” to see if they look unusual or have the wrong number of fingers.)


    15. Paris, The Beach, Or Something Simple? & Others

      by , 12-27-2017 at 02:31 PM
      12/27/2017
      Walking around some fancy big house decorated nicely. Sitting down and seeing my boyfriends ex-boss come in and sit sort of close to me. He asks me what I want for my birthday, and I keep saying 'I don't know'. He pulls out a plastic tube thing that can expand itself and there's a girl across the room and it stretches one end from her to me. He wanted me to tell her what I wanted. I imagined myself what it would be like to be on plane to Paris and in Paris. Then imagined myself on a beach in the sand,
      alone. The weather dreary with dark-ish clouds yet sunlight shining through. A bit chilly wind. The contrast of the image of it was beautiful. I was in a white sun like dress/beach dress. I finally said through the tin-can talk like device "Mani Pedi and a bottle of wine"

      TAUP E W Letters
      Dreaming of some kind of game where I had to choose a name and I chose "TAU P" or "TAUP E" and someone getting angry cuz the game wouldnt start because I had their name? I didn't care and kept trying to have "TAUP E"




      So I haven't been around in years. Gonna update some dreams I've had in the last few weeks right now, below.



      12/23/2017

      Went to my boyfriend best friends dads house and was in flip flops walking in muddy water. Was packing my stuff up from us staying there, and stealing Now and Laters and Suckers from a candy drawer to take with me. Something about my BFFE; possibly BF related.

      12/23/17 Fragments
      -My sister bought Vanilla ice cream, and was carrying it in a plastic bag up the steps to my porch.
      -Boy->Paranoia
      -Me in a towel at boyfriends best friends dads house, in front of lots of 'football' type guys/men I keep trying to make sure I'm covered by pulling my towel up.


      OLDER DREAMS START HERE; SOME CODED SENTENCES FOR PRIVACY.

      so my dream was we were all in NC.. we were at Gma's and there was a secret huge room in her house collecting old stuff over the years of ours. I wanted to go in there. Switches to everybody being there and i see Lil D with cigarette in her hand. I find out C slept with S and i stabbed her then burnt the house down but tried saving the kids. I got outside to the road and saw the fire through the window (silhouette) and then i ran back to try to get the kid who was going back inside but when i walked inside everything was fine/.alive no fire and all talking and what not. I thought I was going crazy again, and told C what happened.
      you can stop reading here.
      coded for myself:
      Switch to us being in a hotel room ( a nice one) and C has dinab weird tv.. music choice station 805 ? LOMF- smiles. i see dinab & ask; yes; chsbkapeirwu me frus. mad.


      dreams:
      i opened the front door and there was some guy sitting on the porch (i didn't see him though but his legs out my eye corner) and he was saying something but i couldnt make out what he was saying. i quickly shu the door and dead bolted and locked it. grabbed L and there was another guy in the house.. ran into our room and locked the door told C and me and L went in my closet and locked the door. C went and killed them with a knife. i somehow felt one of the bad guys knives and i was superly amazed at how sharp it was. dream over. (i seem to have woken up directly after this one)

      dream two:
      first of all-- L for real got tropical starbursts on halloween so ive seen them lately.. a two pack.. red and yellow)
      dream-- on halloween i gave some tropical starbursts ( a few) and she liked them. on christmas i gave her a huge bag and she was really happy.
      then something like... being in your van mom?? i think.. but anyway.. i was talking about how this tiny cup/glass still had melted ice and a tiny amount of water in it. was amazed the ice was still there.


      also some weird dream where i was walking through some weird camp like buildings that were really small and everyone door being open and i could see what each person was doing. then i had to walked back up through them all inside them.. cuz i guess there was doors connected them. i was on my way to my room i think??? i stopped by a room with 3 women who were in a women's club and were staying camping at the place. for some reason one of them was getting a mammogram done/preparing for it.]


      12/25/2017 - Fragment
      Dream about some kind of fire. Don't know.

      Updated 12-27-2017 at 02:41 PM by 16883

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