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Morning of December 3, 2017. Sunday.



This is a set of two dreams of the same sleeping period that need to be approached and studied as a pair, yet where my dream self in the second dream recalls and designates the first as a dream while supposedly being in a real scenario. My first dream is of my current conscious self identity while the second dream is not, which is very strange unless one fully realizes that the personified subconscious (dream self) has no intelligence or viable memory or awareness of time or space. There were other dreams that occurred between these two without any in-dream recall of either of the other two.

In my first dream, it seems to be late at night. I am in the front room (where my computer is set up in real life), though I am sitting beyond the right end of the desk where I have never sat in reality. My wife Zsuzsanna is also in the room (facing east towards our oldest daughter’s door), closer to the door to our porch. Despite the late time, our youngest son seems to be present as well.

In a short time, our oldest daughter enters the room through her room’s door. She says there is someone (an intruder) in our house who is following her. In the semidarkness, to my left, I vaguely discern a tall male figure also coming through her doorway. I consider that I must act to prevent him from doing any harm (though I do not know his intentions and he does not speak). I lift up my left leg, swinging it to the left as he continues into the room, which causes him to trip over it. This is a very strange event, because I perceive my leg as being almost as long as the width of the room (though my dream self perceives this as normal). Additionally, my sense of touch and momentum greatly increases as I feel the unfamiliar male trip over my elongated leg to fall to the floor. I soon awake with a distorted but vivid awareness of my physical body, with a soft hypnopompic kick.

In my second dream, I am in the back seat of a car, possibly also late at night. I am sitting next to the right window. My father (April 26, 1901-February 14, 1979) is to my immediate left and my mother (July 14, 1916-October 2, 2002) is to his immediate left. They appear as they did in the late 1970s. No one else is in the car. I have no recall that they had died and I seem to be about thirty or younger (though I am fifty-six in reality). I am not sure whose car it is. There is a lot of activity to my right. Across the street is a large two-storey house on the corner. The car is facing the intersection that the house is near, though is across the street from the house. I have a false memory that one of my older half-sisters on my father’s side lives there and that my father’s half-brother (Marvin P) is there with my half-brothers (on my father’s side) as well. (Marvin died in July 1965.) There are about a dozen people in the yard and it seems they are visiting my half-sister.

I talk about my first dream to my father and he nods, saying, “I have those dreams, too”. He goes on to talk about stopping intruders (in his dreams) with his left arm as they come through the doorway and making them fall down. My mother nods and indicates that she has also always had such dreams on a regular basis. My parents seem to have a genuine respect for my interest in dreams.

My parents get out of the car (from the left side) and go around the front of the car to cross the street to visit my father’s relatives. My father seems to want me to go but I decide to stay in the car. I soon wake.

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My first dream is simply a preconscious event with increased RAS dynamics. This means that my dream was rendered solely to create a spontaneous muscle reaction for biological purposes, at least partly to cause partial waking to change my sleeping position. Most of my current conscious self identity is intact here and my physical nature is greatly enhanced in the waking transition. Still, this dream has a real-life source based on an event of years ago when it was our oldest daughter who alerted me to someone “trying to break in”, though that was not actually the case, only that a large rock was thrown at our southwest window.

In my second dream, I am passive and in the back seat of a car, which means I am passive to the preconscious, which is not directly rendered let alone with any conflict. I am on the right, thus I am passively within waking orientation (and in fact, I subliminally choose to wake rather than remain within my dream, which could also relate to a need to change my sleeping position), which explains the passive nature of my dream. Talking with my deceased parents (unremembered as being deceased by my ephemeral dream self) about how they have the same recurring dream factors, while in a non-lucid dream, is intriguing, though without any real relevance. The dynamics of this dream relate to events from when I was only three years old despite the mix of erroneous ages of my parents and me.

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This pair of dreams is just a tiny example of how erroneous and skewed memory is in the dream state to the point of being an unexplainable enigma. In my first dream, I am of my present life in a well-rendered realistic sense. In my second dream, even in treating the first dream as a fully recalled non-lucid dream scenario, especially without realizing I am dreaming in the second, I inexplicably have no recall of my present life in the second dream. (My parents being present do not even trigger any sense of reflecting on my personal status). Yet, how could this really be the case if my first dream was fully of my present life and recalled in my second dream? It is a paradox. Since childhood, I have been trying to work out how such common dream state paradoxes are possible. It simply cannot be resolved in conscious afterthought.

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