Recent DJ Posts

I was Celie from the Color Purple, and I was on the porch with Albert. I was wearing an outfit that I think she actually wore at some point during the movie, a blue plaid dress with an apron. the porch was mostly white, with a few chairs on it. It was outline by those fenclike porch things, with an opening in the middle direcly in front of the door, leading to the stairs. I didn't see from Celie's point of view, though I was her. My point of view was as if I was standing in from the viewpoint of someone standing in front of the porch, so that the porch, the house, and some of the surroundings of the house were in my field of vision. The house, as far as I remember,was outlined in white at the top, though there might have been some grass at the bottom.

I was serving him in some inspecific way, I could have been getting him water or something. Then, for some reason, the situation changed. All of a sudden, I told him "You're my servant now" or something like that. We were going to switch positions. He looked shocked and kind of angry when I said that, but he respected whatever authority I based my decision upon. I can't remember what that authority was or why the situation changed like that, but it did.

His clothes changed from the lounge-wear he had on before to clothes more similar to what I was wearing. Then, I thought about changing my clothes to reflect our new relative positions. I thought about my red dress and went into the house to find it and put it on.

Now, my point of view is Ceile's point of view. I go into the house, and what's inside is an extreme version of the living area of the suite I live in at college. My point of view is the same as if I'm entering my suite from the only door there is to enter the suite, although the doorway view isn't obstructed by one of the walls that make up the bathroom like it is in real life, and it's dead in the center of the suite instead of being closer to the left side.
I don't see the couches, the tables, or the microwave, though I do see a tall tan lamp (which we don't actually have in real life). The floorspace is way bigger, with the same green, brown, and other color carpet. However, all the doors to each suite are elevated: stairs run up the left and right sides of the suite to lead to the doors that lead to the two rooms. However, the positions are switched. Me and my roommate, on the left in real life, are now on the right, while the other two are now on the left.

As I come in, Olivia comes down the stairs from our room, smiling like she was just laughing about something. I think I asked her where the dress was, and she shrugged her shoulders or said I should just check my room. In any case, I checked my room and I couldnt find it. I headed up the stairs to the other room and Olivia said something like "it might be in there" but I didn't want to go through anyone else's stuff to check. So, basically, I never found the dress.

Something was going on in the dorm tho. I think I had made the transition from being Ceilie to being myself. There was something going on over the intercom that led me and Olivia to try and find these four thin, metal, pointed things that were hollow and apparently functioned as pens. We found the four, and we headed to this new place.

The new place had the floor and ceiling pattern of a cafeteria. There were tables right next to some railing, as if there were some stairs next to us and another floor below us, though I never saw that part. I was trying to find a table, and I looked where Olivia sat and found that all those seats had been immediately occupied by her friends, and I felt kind of sad. Then, I looked and found that tables were quickly filling up, and I hurried to find a seat.

I ended up sitting with that white girl from school that was the daughter of the healthcare teacher and her friend. I was not happy to be there, but they were nice enough. I still had all four pens, and Olivia needed two, so when we made eye contact across the room, I hurried over. Her face was so small: I didn't realize how far away from her table I had traveled. I handed her the two pens, and when I got back to my table, I see the white chick drawing with my pens, as if she's checking to see if they work.

So. This morning I had another lucid dream. I was in my backyard attempting to control the sky. Got a moon crescent to come out.

At this time, I now have a method to reliably induce lucid dreams almost at will. After freaking 7 years of hard effort and doubt, I am ready to move on to the next phase of mastering lucid dreaming: Dream Control & Stabilization. Each and every time I have induced a lucid dream, I lose lucidity about 30 seconds into the dream; maybe even less.

Dream about playing basketball again for coach Bryant and coach Atkinson. Rocky was on the team and dad came to watch. We were playing a shitty team but I only played first five mins then he took me about despite playing well. In some wierd court in like a ring below. My dad left at halftime because he couldn't stand the game and encouraged me to do the same. Then at half we started traveling to another game and had to apparently rode a train to get there. I had to pee and finally found a place where I peed for like 5 mins long. Then dream then transformed into something weirder. I was traveling around the whole dream setting in a mini train and the dream setting had different aisles of food which I sometimes grabbed. Hannes was also there.

Dream that I had to break up with Michi because she cheated on me with some random guy four times in an Ikea bed. Then we started talking about it at grandma G's house where a family party was taking place. We started inside but it was too loud so we moved outside near the lake when I started hearing aunt Stacy and my sister arguing over whose family makes more money. I took it really personally then yelled at them but they said they were only joking and looked really offended so I told them I'm just heated because of the breakup.

The dream takes place at the 15th Street house as some sort of reunion for all of the Mount Carmel classmates I had. John, Luke B, Jippy, and Lawrence are there and everyone is drinking and having a good time. We decide to all take an aerial picture of the class using a drone as a big group. Suddenly Jippy starts throwing punches at John C. John tackles him and lands some big punches essentially knocking him out. Then Luke. starts to attack Lawrence and even says he is on drugs. Lawrence beats him up pretty good and I then break up the fight. Luke tries to attack me but I tell him I don't want to fight and we shake hands. After the fight some girl comes up to me and says she is Luke's drug dealer and needs compensation for the fight. She also knows my sister and decides to call her to ask if she can get a blue something at a weird apartment with the same address as the 15th Street house. I call my sister to no avail and my mom picks me up from the party. We head to that apartment and on the way see Luke with his brother speaking fluent Spanish walking to the left of us. Several cop cars drive around us and we take a right. As we near the apartment, Luke comes at the car with a bat trying the break the windshield. My mom has her left window down so I tell her to roll it up and that she needs to run him over when he tries again. She does but almost rolls into the opposite lane with oncoming traffic. She gets ready to try again when I see Lawrence approaching Luke. Interestingly the road we are driving is closed off. I then wake up.

1. Flying with over 100 white doves feeling a part of them.
2. My husband is in an empty lot with a bunch of motorcycles piled up and he is pulling one out of the pile. I appear to be watching him from a tree? He looks right at me and has a look of fear that I caught him?
3. At least 10 children zooming around the neighborhood on their bicycles with dogs running alongside them (made me happy because I never see children playing).
4. A girl at work SK everyone was talking about her saying that she was in the hospital and wasn't coming out, I try to get to the bottom of it and start asking questions when I realize I am dreaming because I just saw her Friday and this is the weekend. Everyone is convinced she tried to commit suicide and I find out from my boss she died. Everyone acted like they didn't care and I was shocked! I was very confused and had a strong feeling something happened to her.
5. I was sleeping in my dream and woke up to several tablets on a long table next to my bed and they were all lit up, I started groggily staring at it without my glasses and trying to understand what was happening when only one word on the screen was changing, and it was a message to some woman's name that I don't remember. I tried to pay attention when I finally realized I was dreaming and wished I had gotten the message. Something told me it was OC at work and he had just passed away and had to get this message to this woman. Well hopefully he didn't die because I blew that by not remembering the message :-(.
6. I was sitting around a fire with a tribe of Indians or some kind of tribe when they sent me inside a cave. I go inside to one man in there with fire for light and he was giving me this beautiful armor to protect me. It was very fine chained golden armor that by appearance would not physically protect me but I got the feeling this was some other kind of protection. It was perched over a large rock and the man was putting it over my arms over my head when my dog kicked me and woke me up...grrr I guess I am not protected now?

To me Ryuuko is a major part of what motivates me to pursue lucid dreaming nowadays. She's a character I created for a shared dreaming RPG way back in early 2014, it's called Dreamsphere chronicles. I even made a forum for it but it just never really took off. Kinda bad, but it was a good and valuable experience anyways.
This journal is both a place for me to keep notes on her development, and to give context to my dreams involving her when I post them here.

The concept of Ryuuko has stuck with me through all the years though, up to this day, and will probably stick for many years to come. So I started working on her and establishing her in my dreams outside of said dream RPG.
When I created her I came up with a couple of requirements after which I designed her:
1. A very different personality from mine. From the beginning I wanted a character that had a substantially different way of living and looking at anything than I do, so it would give me a truly fresh perspective.
2. A very complex body. Rather than having a body that is simply humanoid (2 arms, 2 legs, 1 torso, 1 head) and thus easy to use I wanted something that would pose a serious challenge to control in it's entirety.
3. In accordance with the game I needed many different skills I could learn as time passes.
4. And obviously I wanted a body and person that would be pleasing to my personal aesthetic standards. Who wouldn't want that when designing a Dream-Alter-Ego?

In order to get something that was truly different from me, I first gave her the opposite gender of mine (so she's female), and then created her background and story in such a way to make her a 'blank slate'. In short for her story this means she's been created, was never meant to develop her own personality, but eventually did so anyway due to flaws in the experiment. At some point she develops a taste for freedom, escapes her birth place and that's when I would start seeing things from her perspective. Since it'd be considered amoral by the creators to restrain her, and since she'd be useless for her original purpose anyway they just let her go and started over.
The point of this weird story is to let her experience the world with an adult body, an adult set of predefined knowledge, but no actual experience and no real personality, so that I could witness the forming of her personality firsthand. And I'm doing my best not to set a direction myself.

Next was her body. Since I wanted something that would be truly interesting to use in a dream, a simple human body wasn't an option for me. So I designed her as a Dragongirl/Ryumimi, which adds 1 tail and 2 wings to the equation. Since that didn't seem enough I also threw in 6 auxiliary limbs, which roughly look like tentacles, which then again brings her total amount of controllable extremities from 4 all the way up to 13 (2 arms, 2 legs, 1 tail, 2 wings, 6 'tentacles').
Also she hears with her horns as opposed to hearing the way humans do, because I wonder how a notion like that might affect the senses in dreams.
As for her skin, her entire body is actually covered in thick armor-like scales, which in turn are covered by skin or even thicker exo-scales, so she has some decent protection even without separate armor (I tend to be invincible without any intervention in dreams anyway, so it makes sense to come up with a concept that explains the sturdiness to some degree).
All those features give her a whopping mass of around 185kg. In reality mass generally equals weight but since it's not about reality I placed her weight at around 30kg.
If you're not aware what such a sharp difference in mass and weight would cause, it allows her to fly and keep her altitude much easier as she would only need 30kg of lift, but she still needs to put in the effort of getting 185kg moving in the first place. She can reach high top speeds, and she can turn around on the spot quickly, but she's neither going to make sudden dashes, sudden breaks or U-turns.

Her abilities involve all sorts of things that are fun to do in a dream, flying, fire-breathing, exploding fireballs... stuff like that.
So yeah, the concept is probably kind of over-the-top but in order to make her the most interesting to implement in dreams that's exactly what I was going for.

As implied she's my Dream-Alter-Ego. That means that when I have (lucid) dreams I try to turn into her, experiencing the world around me not with my body, my thoughts and my perspective, but hers instead. So far I had some limited success in doing so, but typically there are many months in between any Ryuuko dreams, so I have a lot of work in the dream realm ahead of me.

Not so long about during the summer, I had a dream about a man barging into my sisters house while I was alone and had raped me, ever since then I was never comfortable staying alone. Later a couple months after around September I had dreamed again of another man raping me in his house in these sketchy apt near my house, which is weird because I don't know anyone who lives in those apts. about a night ago I had a dream that this man climbed through my window and had raped me, I had never seen this man and he beat me and poured the burning candle wax on my thigh. Ever since these dreams I have been so afraid and uncomfortable to stay home alone.

Saved poem elsewhere. Think it triggered a nightmare.

I was having a lucid when I saw my dad. I tried to talk with him, but he was pre-occupied. I felt like this may be my dad's spirit rather than a DC. He started telling me how water was overflowing and he had to take care of it. I wanted to talk to him. I said "Dad, do you realize what is going on? There is no water. You died a couple of years ago, and I am seeing you through a dream I am having." He broke down crying.

Last night bed around 8:30pm - 3:30am

DR:

I'm standing on a sidewalk where a bus top used to be, in front of the Bulgarian's house. I may be talking to someone in a truck. Another, white pickup drives by and as it slows down, it starts to aim and shoot some kind of a weapon. They stop in front of the car, one guy gets out and gets in a passenger seat of a truck they have been shooting at. They drive off with that driver still in a car, while I think passenger went to the attackers car. They are being kidnapped.

As soon as this started, I duck and sneak around the corner and I turn one more corner to get away and I hope they won't see me. I hope they were not after me. I watch them from behind the bushes.

Now I am at my friends house. They redid their living room into a restaurant. People are also sitting at the bar in other room at their house, which I thought they remodeled so they can live there.