Morning of March 17, 2020. Tuesday. Dream #: 19,447-02. Reading time (optimized): 3 min. Dream sequence 1 is predictable sleep-wake mediation of emerging liminality stemming from my instinctual recognition that dream state physicality is not real. An imaginary fence defines my skewed perception of potential liminality as a virtual barrier between sleep and consciousness. In this instance of the usual process, my dream incorrectly establishes that it is Halloween (an incidental association with the false identity of the dream state). Another error (to stop waking-life agreement) is that the fence on the west side of our house is not a solid wall. The events occur late at night. At this point, precursory liminality allows for my recall of Zsuzsanna (though the recall we have children initiates later in my dream). Additionally, as a result of the dynamics of this process, I have a viable recall of where I live in waking life (rather than the usual false setting). I am setting up a scarecrow, using some of my clothes, as a Halloween decoration. It is on the inside of our fence near the northwest corner. It is my instinctual analogy of validating my dream state physicality as false but still as a precursor to potential physical discernment. (A scarecrow has occurred as this signification in previous dreams, though statues and dolls are more common.) Dream sequence 2 is further activation of the foundational process as previously described and explained. It stems from physicality becoming a more emergent factor but also inclusive of disguised recall that I have a young daughter. As a result, an unfamiliar black girl (of about seven years of age) stands to the left of the outside of our front gate (from our porch’s viewpoint) where the mailbox is in reality (though it is not present in my dream). (Being near the mailbox location, despite its erroneous absence, is a factor of sleep-wake communication or, assuming enigmatic space is overlapping into my dream space, transpersonal communication, probably from our daughter.) She aggressively shakes the vertical bars of the fence, making an incredible racket. I tell her to stop, but she continues. “I’m going to get my gun,” I say through our open front door, though I am not serious. I want the unknown child to go away even though her presence is the result of deliberate summoning to vivify my dream, which it does, exponentially. (A gun is typically the result of the fictitious dream self attempting to maintain an illusion in contrast to the reticular activating system initiating, which is otherwise the natural progression of sleep-wake transitioning.) The child does not leave. I turn left to ask Zsuzsanna where the gun is. (Zsuzsanna sleeps on my left.) I have the false recall that I own a gun and that it might be on the DVD player (association with imagination, correlating with watching movies). The girl eventually leaves but comes back with her father. Dream sequence 3 establishes that emerging liminality changes the direction of my dream. The girl and her father are in our lounge room. At first, I see it as an intrusion. My dreaming status resets and loops with different events five times. In the third loop, there are about five members of the girl’s family entering our home, including her mother and an older sister. I am puzzled and ask them how they are doing this. One of them points at the outside of our front door, and I see that there is a silver key in the door’s barrel lock. Still, at this point, my dream has reset again, and the family is only now arriving on our porch. Suddenly, I recall that I have a young daughter (which eventually unlocks recall I have additional children). I think she might like to meet the unknown girl. I no longer see the people as intruders even though I did not ask them in. I look around, but I cannot find her. I ask family members where she is. Dream sequence 4 is the fourth form of liminality mediation when the unnamed man sits down on our couch to watch television. I notice that, as he is sitting down, a much older man than him on the television screen is sitting down, mirroring his actions, though he has a white beard while the man in our lounge room has no beard. I find this amusing, but I do not comment on it. The man on television, with his short white beard, correlates with my waking-life identity, triggering my waking. Overall, this is the same preconscious template as in thousands of previous dreams.
Dream - Lucid I was in a very large room with many people. The walls were a cream color. We were singing in some sort of choir. I was standing towards the front, and turned around to look behind me. There were people ducking and screaming. "It's a bat!!" I heard someone scream. I then saw a bat swoop down behind me. I was trying to get away from it myself, when it landed on my hand and bit me. It left three small puncture wounds on my hand. I was panicking a bit, because I knew I needed to go to the hospital. There was more to this one, but I can't quite recall. ~ I was working in a jewelry store. I went to open shop. I got there, and Rachel was there, too. Her parents owned the store (I worked for them at a coffee shop 7 years ago IWL). They were there as well. The store opened, and a girl I knew in high school, Amanda, came inside. I think she was returning something. I thought about it, and thought I had heard that her fiance' was dead. I didn't say anything to her, but approached her and gave her a hug. She didn't hug back or say anything, but I wasn't offended. I finished hugging her and walked the other direction. I then remembered that I had forgotten something at home. I asked Rachel's parents if I could run home and get it real quick. They said I could. I left the store. Then, I saw this scene of a stag in a beautiful forest. He was sitting in a tall grassy area. Sunlight was peeking through the treetops, and everything it touched shimmered. I then saw some glowing thing. I do not know what else to call it but that. It was a round shape and was glowing in faint rainbow colors, but you could mainly see white. There was another one in the back room of the jewelry store too. I think it also acted as a portal. Rachel touched it, and turned into a scarecrow. She could then approach the stag. She stroked his fur, and he let her. It then got to a point where I did the same thing. At first, I could see myself in third person being the scarecrow and approaching the stag. But then, it was first person, and I was stroking the stag's fur. At first, I was expecting him to run, but he didn't move a muscle. I started to speak with him. He spoke to me in a deep, male voice, talking about scarecrows and how we came to see him (he did not realize that all the scarecrows who had seen him were all different humans). We spoke of other things as well, though I can't remember. Eventually, I went back to the jewelry store. Then, I was shopping at a grocery store in the produce section. I was looking for grapefruit so I could eat it with my breakfast for a healthy kick. I saw these small fruits inside these circular holders, kind of like the ones cups are in at fast food restaurants. I went to pull one out, and it was cutting it into a square shape as I pulled it. I saw that it was a type of melon, so I decided I didn't want it. I went to put it back, but it wouldn't go back in now that it was cut; it kept sliding out. I then kept looking, and spotted a bigger white fruit in a similar holder, but I read the sign and saw it was cantaloupe. Ugh, why couldn't I find a grapefruit? Someone, a female I believe, came up to me and asked what I was looking for. I responded "A melon. No, a cantaloupe. No, a grapefruit." I think she showed them to me. I can't quite recall. ~ I was laying in my room, but it was a part of a much different apartment than the one I'm living in currently; it actually seemed to be a mixture of my apartment and my dad's old practice. It had many rooms all lining the same hallway on either side. In fact, my old roommate, Cherie', still lived there. So did her boyfriend, Jeremiah. I was debating on whether or not I had time to get up and shower. I then got up, and walked into a bathroom (there were a few bathrooms in this apartment). Jeremiah was in the shower. I got in with him and started washing my hair. We were laughing and having a good time. I think I put my arms around his neck. I noticed that the water was kinda cold. I guess he liked showers the way my husband likes them. I didn't mind the cold much (though I do IWL). I then had to get out, I guess Cherie' was coming home and was going to shower with him. I had only washed my hair though, and still needed to shower more. I saw my reflection in a mirror of my hair. It was already dry, and looked very wavy and shiny. I figured I could get by with just shampooing my hair and it wouldn't be a big deal. I needed to wash my face, though. I couldn't get to my shower stuff anymore because Cherie' and Jeremiah were showering. So instead, I pretended that I had my bottle of face wash in my hand, and started to pump some on my finger. I felt nothing. I kept trying however; I put it on my face, rubbing it around. I felt it a little, but not much. It felt dry. Probably because it was. I then walked by another room, which was actually an office. I saw a computer on a desk in there. It had a flowery background. Now that I think about it, it really resembled my dad's old office, though the furniture was switched around. I saw my therapist in there. She smiled and closed the door. I guess she was working. I think the bathroom I normally used was in there. Crap. I then found myself showering in another bathroom in the apartment. I looked down and I was standing on a couch/lounge chair. It looked similar to this, only it had two cushions instead of just the one, and had a curtain-type pattern on top of the navy blue. I watched the water hit the chair. I then was out of the shower, and approached a mirror in the bathroom. To my surprise, I was looking at the reflection of a young skinny guy with a white tank top on and short, dark dreads. I knew who I/he was in the dream. At this point, I became semi-lucid. I noticed that behind me, stood...me. When I moved in the mirror, the guy me moved, but the other me, the girl me, was moving of her own accord. This part was extremely vivid. I then turned around and saw Cherie' was there too, but she also was a guy! She looked similar to me. I knew who she was supposed to be as well. I said to her "I wonder if I have a penis." I looked down to look. I didn't see a bulge. I did notice I was standing in a white bathtub though. I then pulled open my basketball shorts and saw...my vagina. I even saw my birthmark on my belly that I have IWL. Boo. No penis for me. Cherie' then checked to see if she had one, and she did. She said, in her voice, I might add, "I do. It's long enough to impregnante someone!" I saw a glimpse of it. It was hard. Damn, son. She was right. Then, either I woke up, or lost my semi-lucidity. ~ I slept super well last night, and I know there were more dreams, but I can't remember them all right now. I just kept thinking about how I needed to sleep more. I was dog tired.
Updated 08-06-2014 at 03:21 PM by 32059
Morning of March 31, 1983. Thursday. It seems to be very early morning in my dream; before sunrise. I am in an unusual composite location of a “compressed” (whereby an implied larger environment somehow fits into a much smaller one) and seemingly isolated cornfield and my sister’s backyard at Loomis Street. There seems to be the presence of a nuclear explosion (from the eastern horizon) in the distance and the sky grows red. There is eventually a strong wind. All I am mostly aware of at the main vivid point is the wind blowing against the scarecrow as if that were the last aspect of the human race that remained. The wind makes an almost human-like sound, but like a soft though eerie chorus. As I had learned after this (and the “clue” it seems to contain regarding the dreamer as a scarecrow, that is, non-lucid) atomic bombs and nuclear explosions in dreams are mostly little more than a metaphor for the waking process itself. This was validated later on when, when I was nearing lucidity, had the ability to “freeze” the mushroom cloud and thus bring about apex lucidity by stopping the waking process, and thereby my dream was extended dramatically (including increasing in vividness). In contrast to an atomic bomb ending the dream (or causing it to change in cohesiveness) and the potential for lucidity (again, unless stopped or “frozen”), a tornado can pull one in (as the Merkaba) into deeper lucidity. As often reflected on before, my childhood tornado dream (beginning of autumn 1970) represented, on one level, the merging of dreams and reality, with my joining (presumed counteracting or harmonizing - both now seem plausible) of the opposite whirling forces of the tornado and hexagonal merry-go-round - also a metaphor for activating a Merkaba akin to meeting one’s soulmate as well. In this case, the scarecrow as dreamer also adds to the atomic bomb representing the waking process in the dreamer now being a scarecrow with no potential to move back into the dream state. (It is fairly obvious like most dreams of this type and level of consciousness.)
Updated 08-24-2015 at 11:29 AM by 1390
Morning of March 31, 1983. Thursday. It seems to be early morning in my dream, just before sunrise. I am in an unusual composite setting of a “compressed” and seemingly isolated cornfield and the backyard of the Loomis Street house at the same time. (A “compressed” setting is where an implied larger environment somehow fits into a much smaller one, which can only be perceived as such in the dream state and is unresolvable in conscious afterthought. This is an incidental distortion of the dream state itself, as the subconscious self does not have a viable perception of either time or space, so it is unwise to pretend it has a meaning.) Soon, there seems to be the presence of a nuclear explosion from the eastern horizon. It is in the distance and the sky grows red, though I do not directly discern the mushroom cloud. There is eventually a strong wind. All I remain aware of is the wind blowing against the scarecrow as if it was the last construct of the human race. The wind makes an almost human-like sound, but like a soft though eerie chorus, though there is a female chorus in the final moments, which leaves the impression of a movie soundtrack. (I become aware of the meaning of my dream in hypnopompic disclosure, which I will clarify from here.) As I learn that my dream is autosymbolic of the dream state and waking process itself and not to be mistaken as relating to waking life (as my non-lucid subconscious self has no viable access to either my unconscious mind or conscious self identity), what are some obvious clues that reveal this? “Soon, there seems to be the presence of a nuclear explosion from the eastern horizon.” The sun rises in the east, which means in this case, the autosymbolism represents the dramatic cessation of the dream state and nothing more. (Additionally, red only dominates my dream when I have slept a little longer than usual. I have otherwise found no evidence of it having any waking life relevance when it occurs as such.) This is additionally evidenced by the “movie soundtrack” in the last moments, a common dream feature, as a dream becomes more vivid by way of the preconscious, not the unconscious (as dreams occur in REM sleep, when closer to consciousness). Another clue is the scarecrow. What movie seemingly revealed to be a dream features a scarecrow? Hint: “I think I’ll miss you most of all.” The personified subconscious (dream self) does not “have a brain”. It also does not have a real physical body. Ultimately, this dream is an expression of saying goodbye to Oz (the dream state). (There may also be a subtle association with vestibular system correlation, one of the most common dream causes, as a scarecrow is associated with scaring away birds as flight associations in dreams usually occur with biologically resolving genuine vestibular system dynamics with the illusory dynamics of the dream state.) On a final note, I do not see this as a bad dream, let alone a nightmare. (It occurred during sunrise, correlating with the autosymbolic content.)
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