Recent DJ Posts

I'm posting from work and the music is so loud that it's fucking up my dream recall. I'm so annoyed right now.

Anyway. I had trouble falling asleep. When I finally did, I belatedly realized that Sleep Paralysis had settled in. And by belatedly I mean...I was dreaming about having it again. I 'wake up' in suffocating, absolute darkness. It feels like velvet. Sounds are muted. I recognize the heaviness in my limbs as SP, everything feels so strange. I swing my legs over the side of the bed but have to fight the impossibly extreme weight of my body and my eyelids. I shuffle languidly to the front door. Prickly unease raises the hair on the back of my neck.
Why is my bed in the living room?
Why is there a 3ft privacy wall between my bed and the front door.
I struggle to lift my arm to unlock the door but I can't figure out how it works.
Why is this so hard?
Maybe it isn't real...
I feel blurry and thick as my head bows forward and I rest my head on the door. Lucidity shifts into place but I'm so heavy. I flounder under the pressure but try to focus my will and go through the solid door instead of trying to open it. It feels so strange. I instead escape upward into my actual bed, but only for a moment.

My eyes drift shut and when I force them open, into that suffocating blackness.
No no no I think, not wanting to be here in this weird dream with the door I can't open.
I wake myself up and find I'm laying in my real life bed.
My eyes are very heavy, so I close them.
Right on the edge of sleep I hear a sharp, low buzz like a phone notification. It jars me upward a step. Was that my phone or my boyfriend's? I drift again and hear the buzzing sound twice more which I just realize it's part of the SP. I consider riding the wave down so I can have a lucid dream but SP Lucids at night are usually just nightmares for me, and this one feels off so, fighting the weight of my limbs again, I turn my head. It's enough to dispel the worst of the paralysis.


This music is driving me nuts. I really can't think straight.

The next part was about my sister's upcoming wedding. In the dream I go to the venue thinking we are just rehearsing but get an ugly shock when she tells me it's going to be in about an hour. It includes one wardrobe change for her, I'm supposed to walk in first, singing a song but she won't tell me what it is but insists that I know it? And that it's a very special song?
I wander off a few steps, anxiously singing to myself. I haven't done much singing lately so my voice is too soft and I'm worried about it cracking. AAAAH ANXIETY!
She's running through the whole thing quickly with the DJ who is also a priest, and tells us we should go check out the other room, because apparently after I sing, run back, and walk with her and the other bridesmaids, we're going to go on some sort of pageant walk to a second room where the reception is, followed by all the guests. I'm so confused.
I need to get changed but I don't know where my dress is. I break away from the sanctuary so I can find it. My sister thinks it should be in the other room with the other bridesmaids dresses. I take of down the green carpeted hall, glancing into every open door. It's so hard to tell which one is ours, there's activity everywhere. When I find the room, at the end of the hall on the left, I experience a fresh new anxiety because the room isn't remotely red. It's dirty and green and workmen shift thick floor panels around, flipping them over to expose the underside. They assure me it'll be ready, I remain silent in my extreme doubt. This wedding is going to be an absolute train wreck.

Somehow I end up outside. The parking lot is just an ugly field of churned mud and dead grass where all the cars are haphazardly parked. I forget what I'm looking for just remain confused and anxious for the duration of the dream.


The next part is just a fragment. Something about waiting for my boyfriend to come home from a supply run, and how we took refuge in my childhood home. He left me here alone, saying that the other person who went out will be back soon and he'll make sure nothing happens to me.
C also wants me to ask the other man something. Other Guy is always going out almost as soon as he comes back so I decide to wait in his room (next to the family room, what used to be my brother's room downstairs, and before that my dad's den). It's kind of cozy, there's a navy/scarlet/white woven blanket on the bed with red and blue sheets. I crawl onto the bed. I want to sleep but know the guy will be offended that someone else slept here.

The first snippet that i remember was, my pharmacist (D) and I were stuck (I think at work) during a nuclear fall out. People had instructed us to stay inside but he did't agree with it. I trusted him and we started to make our way outside as the bombs dropped. He was leading me frantically through the congested roads on foot when the explosion happened. It was loud as hell and it sounded close even if it wasn't. The hilarious part I realize now is that the geiger counter sound from the Fallout games started to fill my ears. And it wasn't a good feeling at the time. But I remember it increasing in tone rapidly then suddenly stopping few times. I think my fear had something to do with that, I kind of willed it to stop periodically because it was getting to be too terrifying, but I wasn't necessarily lucid.

Another snippet I remember was driving my old Ford Explorer up nearly vertical terrain.

Then at one point my husband had made me an elaborate (and heavy--painfully heavy) diamond ring. I don't even like diamond rings. Apparently a diamond in that ring had been someone's family heirloom melted down to be part of a new ring and they weren't happy with me when they found out. Didn't recognize that dream character but he was very cross with me.

I briefly remember my cat running out my apartment door and into a neighbors apartment. We (random dream characters) spent a long time looking for her and that for a one bedroom apartment, it sure had a lot of fancy corridors etc.

The weirdest dream I had is now vague in my mind. I know I was in the country side. My boss was there as well as my supervisor. I remember standing at some sort of makeshift counter working on God only knows what when someone hugged me from behind. I realized that my friend K had returned from her vacation. It was kinda weird because she isn't really the hugging type. And I enjoyed it far too much. She didn't let go for a solid minute. It was a really good feeling, a wholesome hug. And then at some point in the dream I had fallen victim to some sort of porcupine creature because I distinctly remember my supervisor (S) having to pull out quills all over my arms and face and legs with tweezers.

I just remembered another fragment: I was in a diner where the servers *ice* skated across the floors. Except the ice wasn't like real ice, it was like the surface of a waterbed and covered in rubber. Very bouncy and weird. Apparently I had just started working there and couldn't skate. Whoever my boss was had been teaching my how to skate. I remember him making me sit on his lap at one point and I felt really weird and kept trying to escape. He was a total creep.

Morning of January 2, 2019. Wednesday.

Dream #: 19,007-02. Reading time (optimized): 1 min.



My dream self is involved in fictitious associations with Cubitis (where I have not lived since 1978). Dennis (a half-brother on my mother’s side whom I have not seen in real life since 1994) is present. Several random people are present. It may be a vague association with New Year’s Eve.

My dream’s location eventually changes to being that of the backyard of the Loomis Street house. I am behind what seems to be a fence, looking west, in the southwest area of the yard. I am also vaguely aware that the “fence” is the foot of a bed that I am “sleeping” in, though I am sitting on my knees and leaning against it. It is metal and oversized, with vertical bars. Dennis walks on the other side, at least six feet away, walking to the left in my view. (This orientation is atypical, as waking orientation is most often to the right, though I am probably mediating his direction to prevent his presence from being an emergence factor.)

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A fence is a factor of reticular activating system mediation that concurrently defines the distinction between the imaginary dream self and the emerging conscious self identity. Here, it additionally correlates with the subliminal perception that I am sleeping and directly represents my dream self peering into the enigmatic space of preconscious activity.

In addition to [fence as RAS mediation], there is a factor of one of the “crucial three” [literal bed space emergence]. There is also the [preconscious simulacrum mode two] as Dennis.

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1.1

LD 111 - One-eyed Cat
I approach the front yard of my grandma's house. It's a warm summer day and there is a cat sleeping outside, in front of the house. It's a black cat with two large brown areas on both sides of the body, the colors change gradually, no stripes. The cat also has only one massive eye that is completely black, which I see as the cat wakes up on my arrival. I need no further proof that I'm dreaming, thanks cat.

I walk past the house and towards the forest behind it. The cat follows behind me. There is a fence and a gate that I try to phase through a few times, but no luck, seems solid. I open it instead and dream kindly lets me pass, even though I was doubting it for a moment. On the other side of the gate there's a small dirt path that goes around the forest a bit, not really used for anything. I walk into the pine forest and focus on what I feel. I feel a warm breeze. I pick up a pine cone and focus on it's texture for a moment before deciding to taste it. I thought that I hadn't really tasted much of anything in my dreams lately so it was high time for that. The pine cone tasted horrible, close to what it would taste in waking life I assume, very earthy taste. I snap awake.