• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. Thursday, July 23

      by , 10-27-2020 at 04:17 AM
      I am in a house with Brittney and Melissa. This house seems large. I am in or by a bed with Melissa and another, unfamiliar girl. They are both asleep. I know it’s only 6 or 6:30 pm, which irritates me. I get up and go find Brittney in another bedroom. I tell her about how this irritates me. This room is large and long. There is a step down after the bed and a sunken tub and fire pit before a sliding glass door. I walk over there and at first think the fire pit is another tub because it is sunken and empty. There are kids’ shoes outside the door, and it looks like a familial backyard.
      Tags: bath tub, bed, house
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    2. Modulating Dreaming Processes with a Calculator and a Robot

      by , 10-15-2020 at 07:19 AM
      Morning of October 15, 2020. Thursday.

      Dream #: 19,659-02. Reading time: 2 min 12 sec.



      My dream, in instinctual mode (but on the periphery of liminality throughout), transitions through the usual processes, but I carry a graphing calculator throughout my exploring and meandering. This aspect keeps my somatosensory dynamics vivid and sustains my overall clarity and perceptual awareness throughout most of my dream. I keep it in my right hand and enter numbers mostly with my thumb.

      In the main narrative, I walk through several areas of what seems to be a college campus in the late morning. I consider I am not supposed to be here, but I doubt anyone would notice or care. As I walk, I push random numbers on my calculator, which I consider some people might perceive as a cell phone. I do not look at the display and only vaguely think of random numbers to enter at different times. (It is mainly somatosensory focus holding me in the dream rather than cerebral. As I sleep, I sometimes habitually clasp the wooden slat of our bed’s headboard.)

      Eventually, I transition into the predictable “seeking the sleeper” mode. I find myself walking into the bedroom of an unknown person. As a result, associations with the physical immobility of my body (while sleeping) instinctually initiates. I cannot find a way to leave the room even though I had just walked in. The sleep personification resolves as an unfamiliar girl. She leaves her bed and talks to me. I tell her I have to find my house. She assumes I am a professor that should be living in the school and is puzzled by me calling the school a “house.” I tell her, “Well, I call where I live a house.”

      For a short time, I contemplate returning to deeper sleep. As a result, we walk to a staircase that leads down into a dark flooded basement. The girl briefly transitions into the Naiad simulacrum and talks about the process, but I decide to explore more. We continue to communicate as we find an exit from her bedroom that leads into the next predictable stage of dreaming, the parking lot setting.

      The sleep-wake personification appears as an unknown young male a foot taller than me. I consider if he will be a bully or remain friendly (especially as I am already in the last transition of the dreaming process, so he does not have to be imposing). My indecision creates a delayed and ambiguous behavior on his part as if he does not know how to act. He says something that comes out like gibberish. “What did you say?” I ask him. He does not seem rude or confrontational, but I still move on to the next process.

      I instinctually summon the process of attaining physical mobility (while still thumbing the calculator), that, of course, is imaginary while in the dream state (a fallacy that has occurred all my life when dreaming in this mode and is autosymbolic in co-occurrent continuity of the process rather than a false awakening). Although the man is not a bully, I mentally define, with engraved lines, the perimeter of a large square in the parking lot. As we watch, a Transformer robot begins to emerge until it is visible down to below its chest. In this analogy to moving into post-liminality, I walk on to the school building and soon wake.


    3. cxl.

      by , 08-18-2020 at 09:43 PM
      5th July 2020

      Dream:

      I remember being at home with H. We were trying to sleep but couldn't manage for some reason; I remember having slept for an unusually low amount of time in the dream, one or two hours only. On re-writing this entry here, I have a vague memory of seeing the red clock display something very early, maybe around 6AM or so.

      We got up and put some shoes on, etc. We went outside, it looked early but not dark, though it wasn't bright either. We had been invited to go to some neighbour's house for a dinner time meal or something. The area outside looks different from how it should. A mix of my home town and the place where me and H live now. There are some leftover and unfinished construction works.

      We went down the road and around the corner over on the left side of the street. There was an open bit, like a plaza/square and it had some small concrete storage units of some kind. They had metal doors and H used a key to open one and he put in a gem, looked like a Tiger's Eye.

      But the top of the unit was smashed and rubble was visible inside from the top. This apparently didn't bother H at all but I asked him about it. I think H wasn't understanding my point and I eventually dropped the subject as we walked away. Before we went to the next place(?), H needed to have a wee or something; so he was going to walk over to the commercial estate across the way from our street/home, but it looked like a different commercial estate that I know of in the area. (Note to self, refer to original entry)

      I think I wondered why not just go home since it was closer anyway. But I think H was going to do something else while there. So then I decided to wait outside this neighbour's house that I thought we were going to. I thought of knocking, but felt afraid of getting it wrong, so I didn't. I remember having passing thoughts about my boots, about how I should probably take them off as soon as we got in, so I wouldn't catch any of their stuff or furniture with my feet.

      I walked back to the end of our street. For some reason at that point, I took codeine. I don't remember where I got it from, my pockets? I remember then looking towards the shops area. There were people about but not many. I didn't want to stare at them for some reason so instead I just looked up at the sky just above. Cloudy, excessively blue-ish, dim. But all of a sudden I could see clouds moving very fast in our general direction. I thought this to be strange and looked away for a while and then when I looked back it had stopped.

      In the dream I attributed that as some hallucinatory effect of the dream-codeine I took. Eventually I could see H in the distance, coming back. H now had a short and bright red impermeable coat with a hood. Not unlike red riding hood but more modern, and less feminine/more unisex in appearance.



      Notes:
      - Like in another dream I recently caught up on, again, if I had this dream now and had taken codeine in a dream, this could now be a big alert that something was off, since at the moment I know that I must absolutely not take any codeine since it could be dangerous for me to do at present.
      - Re-writing this dream entry here only a bit over a month since the dream, I still have quite decent memory of the visuals.
      - In the dream, it was foolish of me to simply disregard the odd sky/cloud events as being a hallucination; that in itself should have been enough of cue for a RC.
      -- Likewise, looking away and back and having seen such a massive change should have been a good cue ordinarily.
    4. Wednesday, May 13

      by , 05-16-2020 at 05:11 AM
      I am in my bed at Mom’s. I am going to sleep or have been sleeping. I think Ryan lives here. He comes in here, and it is so dark that I barely see him but rather sense him. He exudes malevolent sarcasm as he says something to taunt me. He then leans over and kisses my arm, his lips sickeningly wet. Smiling as he thinks he’s won, he leaves with another remark. Now I think it is the next day. I am going to covertly find some boxes, pack my things, and leave within the day.
      Tags: bed, kiss, moving, sleeping
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    5. Thursday, March 26

      by , 03-29-2020 at 12:49 AM
      I am walking towards Lake Tahoe from Opa’s backyard (it is not actually the house’s backyard, but an expanse of land, seemingly all the way to the shore, fenced in, maybe 40 feet wide). It is full of larger rocks and water, like a drainage ditch, but with no perceptible slope. I walk on top of the light grey stones; there are enough to make this easy. I notice a couple walking not too far behind me. They seem to notice the ‘yard’ and the man comments ‘why would someone do that?’ or something similar, I think because it’s expensive. I get closer to the fence on the right side and on some larger rocks as the middle is thinning out. The fence is about to end in this direction, though it turns 90 degrees to the right. The fence seems to be a chain link with slats. There’s one wooden section though, which I am climbing on in my attempt to get to the lake. The couple is still nearby, and the guy mockingly says it’s illegal to just cross over now. I am now in a tree, with my foot in a crotch to rest my weight. I notice that the girl is blond and nearly flat chested, with a strapless, black bikini top on. I think the guy is blond too, and they both look somewhat older than me. They ask where to go from here (I guess standing on the ground with no problem, unlike myself) and I tell them I honestly don’t know. I see a section where the water has pooled in a shallower area. It is still and topped with numerous small spiderwebs. I tell them I wouldn’t really go that way. A few men appear and wade through the water with no problem. I say they can probably go that way now that someone ‘stirred’ up the webs, though I’m not entirely sure they’re listening. I think I’m down from the tree now.




      I’ve arrived at Dad’s house, and there is some get together going on. I go into my room to put some things down. The room is actually unfamiliar, but the bed is made with my Grateful Dead blanket. Sara is in here with me.
    6. xcv.

      by , 03-06-2020 at 05:28 PM
      Woke up at around 6:30 in the morning from a dream. Had other dreams later but was too tired to make even small mental notes of the details, so no recall for those dreams.



      Dream and awakening:


      I woke up in the dream, I was apparently sleeping on a bed with dad. It looked like some version of my bedroom in the old place but it looked like my parent's room a bit too. I was too hot and the covers, the bed, etc, everything felt too hot. I got up and saw this big red fan heater H has, it was on the floor next to the bed.

      I woke dad up and asked him why the heater was here and why it was on. I thought of turning it off but for some reason didn't. I concluded from looking at the heater or something else that the room was at 49C. I felt particularly unwell and remember shortly walking about the dream room before I woke up in reality. I don't remember sweating, just exhaustion really.

      In reality H was pressed a bit too much against me and I felt that the bed was far too hot. I thought we might have left the heated blanket on through the night, but seemingly it was off. I went for a wee that I didn't realise I really needed, after H also got up because of the noise I had made stumbling around.


      Notes:

      - This type of dream is very typical for when I need to wake up for some biological reason, in this case needing a wee.
      - Being in the same bed as dad was common when I was a child; I'd often get into bed with my parents in the middle of the night, usually sleeping between them. But I can't really remember why I did that anymore or what made me wake up in the first place. I don't recall any negative emotions from back then.
    7. lxxiv.

      by , 02-01-2020 at 01:13 PM
      Small parts of several dreams from today.


      Dream Fragment:

      My friend L tried to contact me. Somehow we were communicating by typing on our computers on notepad, on a shared .txt file, which we would save in turns to effectively "send" messages. Despite being a plain text file, I remember L used emojis, something she'd probably find pretty silly for the specific situation.

      I have forgotten most of this dream's content but I remember L had an overall feeling of concern, and equally I realised I felt somewhat neglectful.

      Dream Fragment:

      I was outside, in a mix of my old home area and of some other place more like where I live now. It was daytime, there were bits of settled snow here and there and the pavement looked completely dull to me at the time. There was a row of terraced houses on one side, with an inordinate amount of front yard space. The pavement was unusually wide too.

      I was out here with someone, either my aunt or my mother, or some kind of blend. There was this tiny ancient and ruined chapel and we were sort of investigating it for whatever reason and there was supposed to be a secret passage that we had to activate from the outside. We walked around it several times and eventually I pointed at this crude square shape covered by dirt and grass on the floor, which I'd noticed several times when going around the chapel's exterior, finally insisting that maybe it was what we wanted to check, as at this point I felt that any observations I made were being dismissed entirely.

      There is some sort of dream transition and there's a different feel to things, and I find myself sort of manipulating wall segments as if it were a strategy game; the placement ghost for wall sections changed dynamically based on whether I was placing it close to existing walls or apart from any walls.

      Dream Fragment:

      Something about a blonde or fake-blonde woman, lying in bed. She was reading a book about things she'd done right? Or about things she had to pay for. This was in some sort of birthday party setting. It felt cheesy and crowded, inside a bedroom that somehow reminded me of a hospital room.

      Dream Fragment:

      I was in bed with H, who was reading something on the phone. It was around morning time by the looks of it and I was lying in bed in a funny way, because I was also reading a magazine of sorts. But the magazine was about as thick as my thumb is wide. It had all sorts of articles, about everything and anything, though I've forgotten most of it now, I remember the last one I was reading before closing it and looking at the cover. That article was about how an older Spain had convinced everyone during the exploration of the Americas to "drink this swill" that we call cocoa and how it's rival neighbouring country of Portugal had done little during that time to stop it too. It was like a sponsored article about an anti-cocoa cult of sorts and I found it to be pretty ridiculous even in the dream. It mentioned they already had hundreds of followers and hoped to expand them greatly in the coming times.

      After I shut the book/magazine, I gave H a cuddle and that's the last thing I remember. Somehow I didn't realise the irony of the very dream-like situation at all.


      Some notes:

      • The text in the fourth fragment was very consistent. I remember reading and going back to re-read something I'd already read to make sure I was getting it right. In that dream I should have realised that no magazine would ever be so thick.
      • The magazine cover was a cream or khaki colour, with a picture of a large manor or something on a sunny day in the front, with some smaller squares of other scenic views.
      • I remember seeing bits and pieces of the book in the third dream by myself. It didn't make any sense, it was like a children's book but with tasks and questions. The pictures were all sort of life-like, but drawn.
      • The very first dream fragment was one of several that I could still vaguely recall from the early morning before I fell asleep again, the other three fragments being ones from after falling asleep again.
    8. Incredible Wealth, Gold Toolbox, and Partial Stone Maps

      by , 12-27-2019 at 07:42 AM
      Morning of December 27, 2019. Friday.

      Dream #: 19,366-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



      As a consequence of the typical synaptic gating of sleep that results in loss of wakefulness and memory, my dream self loses current waking-life identity, my most active but fictitiously altered recall (preconscious mediation) stemming from around 1985. I seem to be about twenty-five years old instead of fifty-nine. I remember the King Street mansion, but nothing yet outside of that factor, not even parents, relatives, or current family, and nothing pertinent about my life over the past thirty years.

      I am in an unfamiliar mansion owned by a wealthy family. I sense their house is about two blocks west of the King Street mansion. There are the man and his wife, their dark-haired young daughter, and a male servant living here. I marvel at the setting with its beautiful curtains and antique furniture.

      I will be living with this family as a result of my adoption even though my dream renders me as a young adult.

      Several well-known sleep-wake mediation factors occur. I am sitting on the rich man’s canopy bed in the late morning (with no one else around until moments later), and notice a small shiny gold toolbox on a table to the left of the bed. It is unlocked. As well as other valuable possessions, including a diary, there are several smooth white stones with parts of pictorial maps (in color) printed on their surfaces.

      The man (this dream’s main preconscious personification) walks in but does not seem angry about my invasion of his privacy. He sits on the bed and mentions how rare the stones are.

      His daughter (this dream’s vestibular system avatar) comes in and sits on the bed. The woman comes into the room but remains standing. The girl’s black cat jumps on the bed, and the woman refers to him as “Skywalker.”



      Sleep-wake mediation factors:

      Bed: Instinctual (though a frequent liminality forerunner as here) awareness of being asleep.

      Toolbox: Opening the toolbox (similar to using a door to either wake or vivify and sustain a dream) signifies synaptic gating and achieving consciousness. My dreaming experience significantly vivifies at this point. The mapping stones represent finding the way back to wakefulness as the part of the mind that organizes information initiates.

      Gold: This color only dominates a dream as a precursor to achieving wakefulness.

      Cat: Liminality forerunner (a summoning factor by habit since childhood). Cats always “land on their feet” (successfully mediate the anticipated “drop” into wakefulness).

      The girl: Somatosensory and proprioception personifications (and the resolving of physical ambiguity as my dream self’s body is fictitious in form and orientation) are typically female (as an instinctually summoned avatar). An important factor is the girl’s cat named “Skywalker.” It stems from liminal drop anticipation and the imaginary proprioception of the dream state and is flight-related.

      The woman, who is the only one standing in the last scene, is an incentive for me to wake and get up, as I begin to see her as Zsuzsanna as my (upper preconscious) reticular activating system’s waking alert factor initiates.


      Categories
      non-lucid
    9. Bed Escapades

      by , 12-19-2019 at 07:47 AM
      Morning of December 19, 2019. Thursday.

      Dream #: 19,358-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



      My dream results in reticular activating system sleep-wake mediation in a literal sense in this experience. Although I am in a bed, it is in a spacious unfamiliar business office. I am not tired or sleepy and had (in real life) gone to sleep earlier than usual.

      The first sleep-wake mediation personification is an unfamiliar woman, about sixty years old, sitting at a desk to my right. (The process typically begins on my right, the side more exposed to environmental sounds as I sleep.) Her desk is a few feet from my bed and facing me. Over time, I become slightly puzzled by the situation, but my dream self does not register it as illogical or intrusive. Still, I instinctually initiate wall mediation by using clothespins to put up curtains between my bed and her desk. At first, one of my curtains falls on her, and she complains. Eventually, she puts up curtains as well, and there is a space of about three feet between my curtains and hers.

      My waking-life identity is now more emergent (as it typically is as a result of wall mediation, which brings my dream self closer to liminality) and I realize that Zsuzsanna is sleeping in a canoe on the other side of the room to my left (as she sleeps on my left in reality, and most dreams render this factor correctly). I think I should be with her even though there may not be much space. (Despite the instinctual association with dream state reinduction with the canoe, there is no presence of water or wetness in this experience.)

      I go over and get into the canoe. Another canoe is upside-down over the top of the first. I enjoy being with Zsuzsanna, and although there is an increase in my perception of imaginary physicality, there is no discomfort in the restricted space. (We are in the correct orientation, though our heads are in the opposite direction as mine was at the beginning of my dream.)

      Later, an unfamiliar teenage boy gets into the canoe. After a short time, the secretary (still on the other side of the room), calls someone to come and get him. He is supposedly a juvenile delinquent, but I had not seen him as threatening.

      Zsuzsanna and I are soon standing in the room. There is a sense of peace. I watch her go to the door that opens to outside. An unknown man, only in shadow, remaining in the doorway, calls her by the wrong name (Laura), but she responds with unknown information of some kind. (Wrong names occur in my dreams to signify how the dream self is not a viable model of waking-life; obvious, as my dreams never render valid memories.)



      The use of a virtual door into or out of the dream state in sleep-wake mediation is common, and this is mediated by cortical arousal personification by way of preconscious simulacra and the reticular activating system. However, Zsuzsanna responding to this process rather than my dream self is intriguing.


    10. Thursday, November 28

      by , 12-04-2019 at 11:27 PM
      I am in my room and have gotten back some girl what has stolen. (She looks like the girl that put sweats in a bag and then a stroller the other day). She is in handcuffs and is casually lounging on my bed. When I look back over, I see she has gotten the handcuffs off. I am initially irritated, but she says they were hurting, so I have a little sympathy and try not to make a big deal out of it. I do trade them for a different pair. I am being pretty cool with her and also feel pretty confident. I sit with a clipboard and tell her it’s her chance to come clean on anything and everything. I try to sound lighthearted, rather than force anything, asking if she’s been hitting us everyday or anything like that. She says no and seems genuine. Scott is here now; I clasp his shoulder and say I miss him around here. He doesn’t say anything but takes on a genuinely sad expression.
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    11. A lot of pressure DILD

      by , 05-22-2019 at 09:41 AM (Inner World حلم Gamma Waves)
      I got out of bed and the strong urge to check under my bed occured. I check under my bed and say a man body underneath the dark corners of my bed. I felt shock and suddenly out of no where a hand comes and grabs my ankle and starts pushing inside the bed. The shock causes me to gain lucidity and I tell myself there's no way this can be really happening. So I tried to wake myself up but instead the dream scene changes. I still have lucidity and can see myself in a dark hallway where I saw on the wrote something about incest. I decided to run up the stairway and see no way to cross over. I then hear something behind my and decided to jump off a high point in the stair way to the bottom of the floor. Once I hit the bottom after feeling the gravity bring down. Everything went black and then I woke up and check my phone. My phone showed that the only friend I ever had deleted me and this caused me to feel a sense of dread. I then wake up again
    12. Thursday, March 7

      by , 03-19-2019 at 06:33 AM
      I am doing an escape room with Melissa, Brooke, and possibly Breezy. This place looks like an actual house, with a few rooms that we can go into. The house seems very tidy and sort of minimalistic, though not without adornments, and has an antiquated feeling to it, as if lived in by an older person. I get the sense of some sort of travel theme, aided by a huge map of the world taking up almost a whole wall. We are trying to escape now, and it seems like I’m doing a lot of it. It’s not that they aren’t or can’t, it’s just that I can excel in a small group of familiar people. I end up moving a bunch of hanging paintings. One has a clue written in red ink on its back side. Many reveal a tiny, circular light bulb protruding from the wall behind. I imagine that these will all light up later and serve as a clue one way or another. I like that the clues flow easily, even if somewhat too easily, and aren’t disjointed. I had moved a small realistic painting of a brown bear (the bear on a slight incline, seemingly in motion, very realistic, and cropped fairly close). One clue mentioned something ‘dreary’, which we noticed with some excitement was referencing a very large and impressionistic painting of people that looked dreary indeed. (*As I write this, I think it may have been moving this painting that revealed the map). I think we are supposed to place small pins in certain spots on the map. The map is now gone? and there are just little holes in the white/tan wall. There seems to be three different clusters of holes, and I think the pin needs to be placed in the correct hole. Melissa guesses the first placement correctly, after which a recorded voice from a speaker tells us we’ve gotten it correct. We try the other ones but never get a response. I end up telling our situation the female employee on the other end of the radio. She’s quiet for a second and then I hear her say to someone else “I have no idea.” I also don’t really know what there is for them to do when a piece of the game simply isn’t working. At this point, I’m thinking we’ll just have them tell us the answers to this part. I also notice that Melissa and Brooke seem to be off doing something else. I hear them talking and laughing in another room. Then it becomes more quiet, and I go look. Melissa is laying in a small bed in an alcove in the wall just big enough for it. I notice a gap between the far and the wall along the head of the bed (which is reminiscent to me of the sleeping quarters on a boat). Melissa looks grumpy, her face sort of flushed and pouting, her gaze diverted. I go to kiss her but she moves so that we kiss each other on the cheek instead. At this point, I notice that her eyes are a little misty. I was what’s wrong and she keeps saying nothing, etc. I finally get it out of her that she’s upset that the puzzle room is not working as it’s supposed to. It irritates me because it’s such a trivial thing to let yourself get upset over. I go back into the other room now, and I don’t think we even have radio contact with this girl. She said she was going to call the shoe room? This room is behind the other. There’s a writing desk and an old corded phone that I see but never hear. While waiting, I start opening drawers, but find nothing. I’m wondering how much further this puzzle room will go into the house. I notice a bathroom and a room or two off of this one. I never do hear the phone. Earlier, I noticed a timer with a green ‘70’. I thought that meant we were doing really well on time.




      I am at Walmart? with Melissa, buying only two things. We are at the end of what is apparently the only line, behind a family of four that looks nice enough but also a little privileged. The woman notices how we only have two items and offers for us to just throw it in with their stuff. I was going to use a gift card, and I’m not sure how much is on it exactly, so I’m not sure how that’d work.




      I am outside of a grocery store. I run up to the entrance, pushing a cart, and ask the younger looking boy employee if they do valet, with an absurd touch of humor. I then leave the cart and run inside to retrieve what I’ve forgotten.




      I am watching (on the news or some kind of video?) cars driving in both directions on a freeway through a snowstorm. Someone is commenting on how it’s almost been the worst winter when, sure enough, a car starts to drift and ends up impacting a school bus. Then school bus then takes out another vehicle and the whole thing exponentiates into an event that just made it the worst winter to date.
    13. Monday, February 25

      by , 03-02-2019 at 08:40 PM
      I am at work and entering the fitting room. I am not alone either; at least four other people are also entering at the same time. I notice a fairly dirty looking guy in his 20s and his female companion. He has long and shaggy brown hair (or dreads) and baggy clothes, and she has dark hair and pants and a somewhat skimpy purple tank top. The guy, with a sort of detached fervor, starts grabbing anything in reach on the folding tables (I notice a folded dress shirt) like he’s going to take them into the stall and steal them. I think he has not noticed that I work here. I say “hey man” kind of casually, which startles him and causes him to look guilty and remorseful. I think he leaves now, and I start checking the stalls. Most have a floor completely obscured by tried on and tossed clothes. One contains a man passed out or sleeping on the floor and amongst the clothes. I don’t even know what to do. Now I am helping ring up customers, and I notice the guy what was going to steal. He is actually buying a pair of black slacks.




      I am with Melissa in a bed. I think we are just cuddling and talking. Now out of nowhere it begins to snow. Almost immediately the roads are covered. (It looks like downtown, like the street parallel to the river and behind the movie theater). I offer to give her a ride wherever so she doesn’t have to drive in it. I think it’s out of the way or will create a problem with where the cars are, but I don’t mind going out of my way. Now, I am driving us somewhere. I think Melissa says something about the speed, as if I’m going too slow. Right after, the car violently slides out and then corrects itself after a tense moment.




      (I think this one was part of another dream that I can’t recall. It has a weird feeling to it). I’ve been watching a movie that is or is very similar to Hereditary. I have an image of Charlie’s decapitated head in my mind. It looks more animated and like it has more skin on the face, around the eyelids and lip areas. I think there is some distinct, enigmatic, seminal plot to this movie that I can’t stop thinking about.




      I am sitting at Melissa’s kitchen table in the seat facing the sliding door. At least Carlos and one other family member is here. They’re talking about late puberty? (like in their early 20s). I lift my bare leg up so they can see the hair on it and say “I haven’t seen my legs since like fourth grade.” It elicits some chuckles. I then feel slightly self conscious about putting my bare foot on their table.
    14. Thursday, January 17

      by , 02-02-2019 at 11:53 PM
      I am inside somewhere. There are 1-2 others here; I think they may be familiar [on second thought, they may be strangers - I can’t remember for sure, as I write this later in the day]. This is one room. It is large, cathedralesque, and has the impression of being somewhat ancient. I think there are tan stone pillars set against the walls. The far wall may be curved. It is dark enough for corners to be lost in deep shadows. There’s a body of water in here, the dark obscuring too its depth. There is a man here, closer to the far wall. He is white and I’m pretty sure bald and bare-chested. I think that he is going to really harm one of us (or Melissa?) in one way or another. It’s almost like this is some demented game and/or we can’t escape. We are/will be fighting him. There is blood dripping from one of my hands (*I noticed a cut on my knuckle last night and didn’t know how it got there). There is blood coming from elsewhere too (at this point, it almost looks more like a scene from a movie and like the blood may be on the lens?) I think this man ends up taking Melissa. There is now a screen that is playing a video of psychedelic visuals with weird and slightly disconcerting sounds. I and someone else watch this; it goes on for a while until finally we fast forward it. As it scrolls, I can see it continued until abruptly ending in end credits. Now, I am outside somewhere. This place feel familiar (possibly just in the dream). I think this is the Bay Area. There is a body of water, placid and sort of grey. It surrounds a chunk of land on which grows a large tree with pronounced roots. On the far side of the water is a small dirt bluff, out of which protrudes the end of a tube/pipe. A naked body suddenly slips out of it and into the water. It is Melissa, and she has a black blindfold on. I go grab her and carry her to land. She has come to now, and I talk to her. From what I gather, the weird psychedelic visuals were what she was seeing as she was passed out on the way from wherever to the end of the pipe.



      Melissa and I are lying in a bed. There’s a little bed to our left and on it are three little kids. I think they are ours. They seem joyful and content and around three years old.
    15. The Fence that was not a Fence

      by , 01-02-2019 at 12:09 PM
      Morning of January 2, 2019. Wednesday.

      Dream #: 19,007-02. Reading time (optimized): 1 min.



      My dream self is involved in fictitious associations with Cubitis (where I have not lived since 1978). Dennis (a half-brother on my mother’s side whom I have not seen in real life since 1994) is present. Several random people are present. It may be a vague association with New Year’s Eve.

      My dream’s location eventually changes to being that of the backyard of the Loomis Street house. I am behind what seems to be a fence, looking west, in the southwest area of the yard. I am also vaguely aware that the “fence” is the foot of a bed that I am “sleeping” in, though I am sitting on my knees and leaning against it. It is metal and oversized, with vertical bars. Dennis walks on the other side, at least six feet away, walking to the left in my view. (This orientation is atypical, as waking orientation is most often to the right, though I am probably mediating his direction to prevent his presence from being an emergence factor.)



      A fence is a factor of reticular activating system mediation that concurrently defines the distinction between the imaginary dream self and the emerging conscious self identity. Here, it additionally correlates with the subliminal perception that I am sleeping and directly represents my dream self peering into the enigmatic space of preconscious activity.

      In addition to [fence as RAS mediation], there is a factor of one of the “crucial three” [literal bed space emergence]. There is also the [preconscious simulacrum mode two] as Dennis.


      Tags: bed, fence
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