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#247 - DEILD Chain - 3:28 AM

I am in bed cuddling and talking with my ex-wife. I am very aware of the feel of her next to me and notice she isnt wearing much. I begin to want sex and make out. She moving on top of my and I try to feel her breasts under her night gown. She grabs my hands and pushes them away. She tells me that doesn't want to with her parents home. I look at her face more closely and she is beautiful and much younger. I think this must just be a memory: a time before we started fighting. I remember that we divorced and I feel bad that things went so badly between us. I want to ask her if she regrets it all but I am afraid to mention it. I remember my new wife and the love I have for her. I think how wrong this is and that thought partially wakes me up.

I DEILD and vibrations start. There is a short and deep electronic growling sound and the vibes become faint then are gone. For a second I worry that I woke up but realize I that just phased really fast. I have a knowing that I am in my old bedroom in TX but I feel my wife next to me. I don't realize until later that she is on the wrong side of me. I quickly get out of bed, but something has my right hand. I can't see very well and the thing feels like cloth tied to my wrist. I struggle for a second but then chose to ignore it. My hand some free but there is a slight feeling of something on my wrist still. As I turn to the bedroom door I see 3 ghosts in sheets looming ominously before me blocking my exit. Like usual, I begin to verbally rebuke them with a good tongue lashing, but this time the words catch in my throat and I can only gasp. I am afraid and start to panic but quickly calm myself. I remember that I am the master of my domain. I assume an authoritative stance and point at them. The three entities immediately turn back into mere sheets and drop to the floor. I step over them and make my way through a very dark house. I mostly navigate from memory of the place and make my to the front door. As I reach for the doorknob, I sense a presence behind me. I turn to see if it is the ghosts and sure enough one of the sheets is following me. This time without fear I reach a hand toward it. The sheet collapses and comes to into grasp. I tuck the sheet into my "inventory" and say out loud, "We can use you to scare someone later." Smiling, I turn to the door but wake up.

I Deild and have more vibes. I focus and relax. I begin to feel myself sinking into the mattress. I have a couple of episode where I try to open my eyes but feel like my physical eyes open. I confuses me and causes me to start over. I am annoyed and just begin some walking motions. I am back in the hallway totally blind. I begin crawling feeling the title on the floor. Soon, I run into the front door. I have difficulty trying to open so I phase. I get partially into it and wake.

Again, I relax into a DEILD. Vibes. More sinking. This time I try floating but can only manage a few feet. Now I spend a lot of time playing with feeling stuck in transition. I begin to get bored and even more annoyed. I go back to crawling but this time I Imagine crawling outside. I feel grass in my hand and focus on it. I hear something like a truck with no muffler pass close by. I wonder if that's really happening, but quickly dismiss it. I remember that I could hear the boxfan a lot a few minutes ago and decide it's probably a sound distortion.

Now, I focus on seeing through my eyelids and my hands appear in front of me. I continue crawling in the grass begin to get short glimpses of a several patches of flowers. Some red and some are yellow. I note the feel of them. Then, I stop feeling pissed off that I just can't get deep in the dream enough. I begin to feel like Gollum from LOTR the way I am crawling around. I make reflexivly a "gollum" sound deep in my throat as I attempt looking around. I ingore that little outburst as I try to visualize a scene. To my dismay, nothing happens. I roll over on my back and look up. I get a brief view of night sky with a moon behind some clouds then go blind again. I decide to give up and relax. I focus on the two sense I do have. I listen and begin to hear the sounds of a deep forest at night. I hear crickets, frogs and even something like whip-poor-will. I focus on that and begin feeling peaceful and totally relaxed. I begin floating up and down several times as I listen soothing sounds of nature. I wake again.

I DEILD. Again, I imagine myself walking. I am back in my old bedroom. I can see a little better now but not nearly good enough so I decide to just play around until the dream gets just a little more stable. I am feeling a little tired from so much focus and start to lose my train of thought. There is a vision of a ninja woman. I say something taunting her. I summon a blade but It's just a little knife. I have some internal dialogue and try again. This time, a dagger. Better but not enough. I regain my focus and I realize I have been reaching with my right hand from the left side of my waist. Maybe if I reach over my shoulder like I am caring on it my back, it will be a ninja sword. I reach and pull out a huge,shiny Daikatana. I am alone in my room but I begin yelling some random Japanese phrases. I have no idea what I am saying but can't control myself. The words sound legit like I know what I am doing. I see a black bookcase and slash at it. The sword seems to have become invisible but the bookcase smashes apart. I plant my feet and do a spinning slash at another object. I feel like my movements are fluid and precise like I have had some training. I still don't see well as my vision is very dim. I turn and see daylight through red curtains on my window. I slash at intending to cut only the fabric. I hear and feel it but the curtain seem to be undamaged. I am shocked and I stare at them a moment wondering what went wrong. I shrug this off and turn 90 degrees to my right. There is an entertainment center with an old TV. I do an huge over handed downward slash but there is no damage. I can feel the hilt in my hands but as I look there is no sword. I think, "What a total rip-off. Suddenly, I feel my wife roll over in bed and this breaks my concentration. I wake up totally..


I was pleased with this dream but also disappointed it didn't go the way I wanted. I got really bad insomnia after this and instead of riding it out I decide it was prime time to play some AC4!

I have a dream that I am traveling in a car with my wife, my son and her sister. I am riding in the back trying to sleep and have a LD but either my sister-in-law was too loud or she had the radio blasting. She was driving and my wife was riding in the passenger. The odd thing here is that my wife looked just like my ex. I find this confusing but I let it go for now because I am really just focused on getting lucid.
After some time we get home and I carry my son in. I just leave him in the car-seat for someone else and go straight to bed. The house looks like a meshing of my current house and the first house I bought with my ex. I lay down in bed and wonder why my ex with is us. I ask my self who I really love but I can't remember. I relax and the vibrations hit.

I become fully lucid now and remember the reality of now. I feel some anger toward my ex but let it go. I spend a lot of time in SP fun land. I transition out of bed several times but I am blind and wobbly. I fall several times and each time I just go with it and either dig into the earth or a wall but I always end up back in bed like repeat hell. Each transition is a struggle and eventually I just really and focus on the vibrations. I try to visualize but nothing is coming. At one point I hear my son crying. (fake I think) I get out of bed and try to go to him. But quickly realize I am still in SP.

I have a FA and try entering into my bedside DJ and quickly realize I am still dreaming.

I have another long SP episode and this time I relax and meditate. I pray asking God to help me. I ask that my vibrational energy increases and I enter into a higher realm. At this point I wake up for good.

I have several other vivid dream but none come close to being lucid. I felt really tired and had bad technique.

#202 - 4:42AM - DEILD

Something about joking with a cop. I am wearing basketball shorts and dress shoes. My wife laughs at me.

I wake up realizing I missed my WILD and DEILD

I feel light and floaty with no vibrations. After a second of waiting I try to move and am a little surprised that I am actually dreaming already. Again I am blind but this time I focus on seeing my hands close to my face as I walk around. My hands appear as dark shadows at first then its like someone turned the light on and I can see. I wonder around my house looking for Obama. I call out for him noting how my voice sounds a little afraid that I will call out in waking life and wake my wife up. My voice is loud, clear and echoing. I go to the other bedroom and look in the closet. Its all the wrong color and there is a lot of space behind the clothes. I call out hoping hes just hiding. I notice how different my voice sounds in here just like it would in walking life — a closed-in amplified sound. I appreciate that little detail for a moment then move on. At some point I remember looking down at my feel and see that I am still wearing my black basketball shorts and dress shoes. Seeing that I also have dress socks up to my mid calf was too much; I have to laugh but I continue on, hoping that if I ignore what I am wearing it won't be there.

I wonder to the back rooms and start calling out for Bush instead. I say, "Well maybe George Bush is around here then.... Bush! Where you at?" I look in the back bathroom but its void-dark in there so I past it up. I begin to feel tired of looking for a president to punch so I say, "Fuck it. I 'll just go outside and play." I walk to the living room and see the front door is open and the glass storm door is closed. Smiling, I run and dive head first through the glass. The door knob catches me mid phase and I get hung up for a moment. I have to push the door way to finish flying through the glass.

When I reach the porch, I stand up. I can smell rain and the air feels chilly. It's midday but there is a thick fog hanging at the tree top level. I jump off the porch and hover for a moment then land hard. I am a little shocked how solid that felt. I jump a few more times hovering and noting the birds-eye perspective of the front yard. I decide to focus-fly to a tree branch but can't get it to work. I shrug it off and see something like a red Dodge Magnum parked on the street. I immediately start punching out the windows for fun. The impact of it hurts a little and I feel like I cut my right hand. I can feel the sting of the cut but I really don't feel like looking. I really don't want to deal with blood right now. After I punch out all the glass on one side I decide to change modes and push my hand through the glass on the other side of the vehicle rather than breaking it. I feel like showing off to myself my control of the environment. I suddenly, wake up at this point.

2:00AM

There was a huge snake on my house and hanging off the tree. It had to be at least 20 foot long and 2 feet thick. I stuck the sharp end off my pickax in it's face. It falls to the ground. I don't want to touch it so I stick the pickax in its head again to drag it around to show my wife but the head pops off. As I examine the head it turns brown and dries up then becomes some kind of blue cloth. It's a ski mask.

The dream changes and we are at the creek. A couple sneaks there camping gear in from the other side. Some dude gets mad they didn't pay and confronts them. I just watch realizing I didn't pay either but we're not camping.

I try to sleep for another 30min until my 2:30 WBTB but I feel too awake. The alarm goes off and when I get up I feel really tired. I lay back down until 2:51AM and the have a mini WBTB take G and think about goals. I forget any induction and just fall back to sleep really fast.

#201 - 3:33AM - DILD

Obama is preaching at some familiar church. He says something about "You can't have a double seater." I say, "Yes you can." He's sitting in a chair behind the pulpit. Someone in the audience complains. He tries to clarify but it's all obvious lies. We all argue with him.

I have a FA and record the dream in my DJ. Then I hear a bunch of noise in the living room. My daughter is still up. I look and see my mom with my son. My dad is watching TV. I lay back down and hear the loud TV. I yell, "Some JACKASS has the TV up too loud. It would be nice is people could sleep!" My wife shushes me but I don't care. I'm too pissed off. The box fan is barely working and I try turning it up for sound. The TV is pissing me off and I storm into the living room and say something rude to my dad. He says, "I know I'm dumb." He had the old cabinet TV real close to the couch and I turn it to a barely audible level. I lay back down feeling so pissed off. I can't believe they are ruining my G night like this. Then I realize this is a common dream sign. (Disturbances when trying to get lucid) I do a nose plug and blow through.

I get out of bed but I am blind. I feel my way out. I bump into the table really hard. I get to the front door and have to unlock it. I step out but I am still blind. I pause, then find myself back in bed with no vibe I try spinning and rolling but it feels real. I am move my arms and I grab the wire frame headboard. A piece of it turns into a cold metal rope and I start pulling myself up. I feel like I am floating and I smile real big. Then I feel gravity shift and I am back in bed. I wait and clear my mind with mantra. I try looking into the void to form a dream but there is nothing. Then I visualize walking and the dream blinks on.

I start pacing around the house rubbing my hands. The dream feels real unsteady but it's brightly lit and full of DC activity. I think to go out the back but the dream starts to blur out. I wonder if my brain just needs time to finish rendering the scene. I try to stay in the living room since this area is the more clear. My mom is doing something in the other room. I try to think of goals but its hard. China comes to mind first but I realize now is not the time to travel. Then I remember fireworks. I see something just out the window. I reach through and blindly grab a bottle rocket. I quickly eat it feeling the wooden stick poke the inside of my cheeks and tongue. The bottle rocket crunches like dry leaves and then quickly dissolves. I turn and see my younger sister coming at me with a match but it blows out. She quickly turns around disappointed and walks away. I say, "Well commeer." I realize I will have no idea how to spell that later. (I still don't) She says, "The match went out." I decide I don't need a match and just blow out of my mouth. The bottle rocket shoots out with a fizzling sound a little smoke trail but sticks into the wall like a dart and does not explode. I feel disappointed with that and follow my sister into the kitchen. I see another bottle rocket on the stove and eat that one too. As I chew this one down I decide to ask my sister for another match thinking that would help but I quickly wake up smacking my mouth.

Comment: So I got tired of this heat plus other distractions reducing my ld count and decided to try with G

Preparation: I had pre bed insomnia, too wakeful plus nagging thoughts. Still, I decided against setting an alarm and going for a natural wake.

WBTB: Of course, I missed my desired WBTB but decided to go ahead. I was very sleepy due to the heat so walked around a bit. As soon as I took the pill and went back to the bedroom I saw this huge moth (a real one!) that came in last night and we couldn't catch it. It started flying around and caused me some additional wakefulness. I tried to ignore it and went to bed.

Started my usual induction mix and internal dialogue was fine but I felt too alert bodily to be able to fully fall asleep and be absorbed by those dreamlets/HI. Here are some that I remember, some were lucid, some not, I don't think it matters much in this case.

Mini-dream: I am somewhere and to my right is a guy that I identify as Xanous. He is holding some kind of a brush that I next take and inspect. White bristles, strange shape. I wake up. (Not much time to observe appearance, but in my mind it was him)

HI/dr: The head of state

HI/dr: The best lucid dreamers in DV [Names]

HI/dr: The tree of plenty from HMM game

HI/dr: A very large tropical plant plus other greenery

Micro-ld: I am standing on my grandma's balcony and it is night. I can hear nice music playing and look down to see a strange guy in front of the building. He is performing for a new place that has opened up just in front of grandma's. I have positive feelings towards the guy as he reminds me of a friend of mine. But most importantly I am very happy to have finally made it to a dream. The air is very stuffy and warm but I feel some kind of pleasant power in the air. I try to move my head to look around but meet some resistance as if my dream body isn't quite ready yet. I'm thrown out of the dream and into my super awake body.

I try to go back to sleep for some time but in vain so I give up and go to meditate in the other room.

I spend appx. 50mins meditating then go to the restroom. Moving from thought to thought and by means of association I remember my phone, see a quick phone image along with the thought, then another image quickly flashes by - the true location of my phone.

I have looked in the place two times but couldn't find it before. I decided to give it another try, this time a fully thorough search until I got out every little piece of crap from there. And at the bottom was of course - my phone!

Background: I bought a new phone but put it somewhere in a hurry in April, while preparing for guests. I totally forgot about it in May, looked for it everywhere in June, gave up in July and decided I would ask a DC where the hell it was. Asked a few times, got some nonsense and the best answer that came from DCs was "outside". Well, it was inside and not outside. Lol! Anyways, one task less.

#200 - 5:55AM - DILD - 3 of 3

I'm in the old recliner we just got rid of and it's in the corner of dining room with no table. My wife is talking to me about how she just wants to learn it to be able to change bad dreams. I excitedly say, "Wait a minute.... YOU want to learn to lucid dream?!?!" She walks into the kitchen not saying a word now. Then it dawns on me. "Oh, this is a dream." I feel disappointed now and don't seem to care to do much of anything.

I either briefly woke up or just fell non-lucid for a second here.

I am still in the recliner and my wife points out a window, "Why is the sky red?" I look and see the blinds are open. The sky looks overcast but it's not red exactly. IT'S PINK!I proclaim, "This is a dream!"

I wake up and try to recall the dream. Then I want to DJ but as I am entering it in my device I notice the letters look like gibberish and my vision is in and out. I realize this is my dream DJ so I stop typing and try to just DIELD.

I have a FA and walk into the kitchen. My wife is feeding our son mustard greens. I notice there is a puddle of some liquid under the table and pieces of cooked mustard greens on the floor. I become disgusted at the mess so I get a towel and start cleaning up. I leave the towel under the highchair and wait for them to finish sitting at the table with them.

Feeling bored, I start staring out the window. The sky is pink. I don't become excited this time. I don't say a word. I just slowly walk out the back door, rubbing my hands to stabilize. I notice my girls playing in the back room but I ignore them. When I get outside I remember my task to find NyxCC. I begin shouting, "Nixcy...Nixcy!" I try expectation to think she is just hiding from me someplace and I will soon walk up on her. There's no answer or NyxCC anyplace. Some truck passes by in the alley and I start walking there to look for her. I can hear the crunch of my shoes on the gravel as I walk. Suddenly, I can hear my wife yell, "Really?" I look back at the house expecting her to be at the back door but I don't see her. There is slight guilt that I just walked out on my family to go looking for some other woman. I want to tell her that it's not like that but I realize it really doesn't matter in a dream.

Then, I remember how I found CanisLucius one time. I try to summon a cellphone in my right hand but nothing shows up. I pretend to push something on my invisible phone and say, "Nixcy". When I put the phone to my ear I hear nothing so I repeat the step but this time I don't look at my hands and I begin to feel an actual phone. I put the phone to my ear and hear a somewhat low but very feminine voice. I think her voice must not be right but I just go with it. "Nixcy?" She answers with some nonsensical word groupings. I can't remember now but it was stuff like, Pandemonium Laptop and Parsnip Pretzels (I'm making that up but that was the gist of it)

The dream is staring to fade to dark but the audio sticks. I reply, "Whaaat?" only to get more gibberish. I think that I must have spoken out loud in my sleep now. To check it I say, "What the fuck?" I can still hear my feet crunching on gravel. I feel my wife roll over in bed and I wake up.

7:03AM

I am at some sort of diner theater with my wife. I have some problem with my meal and I am escorted back to the kitchen. Everyone is very kind and helps me out. I am given a wooded plate with a nice salad on it, though I keep thinking it's awfully small for a salad. Someone in the kitchen has a problem and an old woman starts pacing back and forth praying for her. I walk away and see another woman kneeling on the floor holding her hand. There is a broken plate and a little blood. The praying woman rushes over to her. I sympathetically suck through my teeth and say, "Ewwww. Ouch." I tell the waiter that was helping me that I will show myself out. I go through the doors that other people were not allowed to go. I ask if it's OK and no one objects. It a small area with several metal doors with labels. Mostly stuff like "Employees Only". I turn left and see an elevator. I push a button and it opens. When I get inside I instantly know that I am dreaming. I rub the shiny metal of the elevator and push the "1" button. As I wait for the elevator to open again the dream fades and I wake up.

#199 - 5:18AM - WILD - 2 of 3

I realize I drifted off too much and come back a little. I feel tense so I just focus on relaxing my body. I feel like I flatten out and sink into the bed a little. Then the vibrations come. I try to transistion and spinning but nothing will happen. Then I try just looking into the darkness. I see a spot of vision forming but I wonder if one eye opened. I open them for real and realize I was actually forming a dream so I close them again.

Suddenly I am fully lucid standing in the bathroom. My wife is in the next room saying some thing about getting two for one at Sonic. I say, "It doesn't matter. It's just a dream." She replies with, "Well, do you want to go or not?" Not having anything else in mind I decide to go along with this dream.

I move to the door but the dream skips to us getting into the car. Our car is not our car it is some crazy hot-wheels-looking sports car. As my wife puts our son in the car, I summon a key in my hand. I note the odd shape of it but don't pay it much attention. I notice we have manual transmission and I smile a little. The engine sounds beautiful and I peel out of the driveway driving like a maniac.

I at every intersection I peel out driving way too fast. I begin to feel guilty having our son in the car while driving like this but I assure myself that it is just a dream. At that moment I hear sirens and see a cop car on my six in the rear view. I really don't want to deal with this and for a moment I visualize doing something violent to the cop. But no, I don't want to do that either so I just choose to ignore it. The cop is not important. I notice I am driving really slow behind to cars and look back at the rear view. The cop is gone now.

I swerve around the cars and drive crazy some more pulling off several drifts. At some point I see a huge overpass highway in my neighborhood. I laugh at this and just keep driving on. Then, I realize we passed sonic and I do a smoky 180 drifting U-turn. I am about to pull in the parking lot but I suddenly wake up.

I am a little disappointed with this set of lucids. I just couldn't seem to keep the dream together for very long. I experienced multiple awakenings with mild insomnia. Still, it was a fun morning. I think I need to refine my WILD technique. I'm getting really sloppy with it.

WBTB time 3:00AM

#198 - 3:44AM - DILD - 1 of 3

I am at work and I know that it is very early in the morning. I feel like it has to be close to 4AM. I am really confuse why I would be here at such an hour. I hear music and my boss starts singing Wannbe by the Spice Girls. I think she sounds horrible and want to laugh at her. I keep thinking that I just need to get back to sleep if I want to take advantage of my Galantamine night. I think about the cot in the first aid room. Maybe if I ask I can take a nap in there. I picture the room in my mind but it is not right. I can't imagine why I would take G and then go to work during a WBTB. All of this is way too weird. Wait a minute. Maybe I didn't go to work after all! I do a nose plug and blow through. I let out a loud, "Whooopieeeee!". For some reason I think the task of the month is to grant a DC a wish. Was that an old one? I look around and can see the whole shop floor vividly. I spot a random DC man that I don't recognize. He looks a little like Chris but he hasn't worked here in years. I grab him by one shoulder and say, "Hey, tell me your wish." He won't talk and acts like he is purposefully trying to avoid me. At that moment I wake up.

4:32AM

I have a FA. My wife is talking to me in bed and I am a little annoyed because I was trying to WILD. I finally open my eyes and see that my head is at the foot of the bed and I am on my stomach. She is wearing an adult size blue long sleeve onesie. I give her a funny look and she explains that her mom bought it for her so she thought she should wear it at least once.

I try to in-dream WILD now and I get vibrations right away. I transition out of bed but it feels like I have two bodies. One in bed and one blindly walking around the house. I try to visualize but nothing will happen.

Suddenly I am non-lucid sitting on a couch and can hear some familiar country song. There is a random guy standing next to me and my wife in the the bed. I feel hot and notice I have jeans on. I get up to find a pair of shorts out of the dresser. I find my blue and yellow ones that I used to own a long time ago. I change in front of the guy hoping he's not looking. I'm just so uncomfortable right now. I wake up feeling hot.

#172 - 5:44AM - DILD

I was going for a second WILD this time but felt too tired to keep concentration. At some point my wife kissed when she left to go to the city wide garage sales and I tried DEILD. I don't know if I was successful as I felt like I as in and out of lucidity and forgot a lot of dream content.

There was something about my daughters coming in the room while I was trying to WILD. They kept interrupting me and I sent them out several times. I got on my laptop to check something in my DJ and laid back down.

I remember a lucid fragment of examining myself in the mirror and had the same long blond hair as my older daughter. My face looked the same only beardless. I noticed how similar we look now. I lose concentration and lucidity. I wonder why I chose to grow my hair so long. That must have taken me a long time.

The next thing I remember I was in an inmate in a prison. I have the feeling that I was lucid briefly and lost it. I am sitting down at the tables in the prison cafeteria. I look at my hands and notice that I have dark skin. I think about how a group of us kept trying to escape but always fail. I see a man near me that looks like Jerry from Parks and Recreation. I start crying and sounding a little like Chris Tucker and say to him, "Man, what I did wasn't even that bad... AND THEY LOCKED ME UP IN HERE IN ALCATRAZ!... whatchu in for?"
The man, Jerry, says matter-of-factly, "Nothing."
I cry some more, "See!? You didn't even do nothing and they locked you up toooooo! ahhhhhhh!"

Then a man in a suit sits next to me and whispers something to "Jerry" that I can't remember. Jerry stands up looking totally shocked and just keeps muttering "Yep" and "OK". What the suited man said didn't make sense and I looked to him for clarification. He turns to me and mouths the words, "He's free to go."

Then I am genuinely happy for Jerry and several of the inmates and I start congratulating him. Jerry continues to look shocked and slowly walks off. I shout something like, "Don't worry we'll all be at your house for diner tonight to celebrate!" Several of the inmates laugh because we all know that's unlikely.

Then I see a headless man in a t-shirt with bright red, yellow, and green stripes. He's doing a happy dance for Jerry and everyone treats him like he's just comedic relief. They laugh at him and shout out random heckles. I remember this sign from several of my dreams and become mildly lucid. I shout, "What does his neckline look like?" I want to see if he is smooth like he was born that way or if there is gore. I fly over everyone and look. Of course, he is smooth but looks like he is made of some fabric and stuffing. For some reason I get the urge to bite him there. It's is soft and spongy. Then, I get the idea to merge with him and disguise myself as a way out. I place my head in the empty place and our bodies become one. I continue dancing around and grabbing at my junk, making everyone laugh. For a brief moment I feel like I am grabbing another mans junk like a reach around. I pause feeling a little sick and lose lucidity.

Now, it's like I am totally disconnected from the dream and I feel like a fly on the wall just watching. The headless man is not me nor is he headless... He's the LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE fool from youtube! Anyway, he's just sitting in the drivers seat of a convertible riding long with some Hispanic police officer with a thick dark mustache. He reminds me of a character from Super Troopers or Reno 911. I get the feeling like they are a gay couple. They are talking to each other and the leave-Britney-alone-fool is crying about something while twirling his hair.

Suddenly, I say, "This is a dream. I am dreaming!" I am now sitting alone in the convertible in the back seat. I realize how disconnected I felt and look around. I just need to ground myself. It looks like I am near some businesses and a semi busy highway. I see a blue dumpster with a sign. I focus on the lettering and watch as it morphs and moves around. Then I look around again and I feel solid and stable. That's better. I feel fully lucid now and in control.

I get out of the car thinking of the China TOTY. I think that maybe if I climb over buildings enough I can repeat my last attempt. It doesn't seem to be working. I see a bright red building and decide to try one last time. Still it's just plain-jane-suburbia. I notice it's getting dark and worry that this is the beginning of the dream collapsing. I try not to worry about it and fly. I don't get up very far when I notice a storm cloud with vividly clear starry night sky above it on the horizon. There is a flash of lightning and the dream starts to get dark on me. I decide to quickly fall back down. I see a tan colored station wagon below and land on top, smashing it. I turn to look and start laughing. I say out loud to no one in particular, "Dude, look at that car! I totally smashed it!" I really study the car because I think I'll draw it later but the more I look at it the more non-car-like it becomes. I move on.

I notice that I landed in the yard of some housing complex or apartments. I see there are no trees and the wind starts picking up. I feel a few drops of rain on my face. I try to ignore the coming storm and focus on making a wormhole. My concentration weakens and my half hearted efforts fail me. I find the wind very distracting. But I remember my back up plan.

I'll summon CL and hitch a ride. I walk into the street and shout as loud as I can, "HEY CANISLUCIDUS! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PICK ME UP!" I wait a moment in the street rubbing my hands for stability. In a few seconds something like a red minivan shows up with bright headlights on. I stand waiting with excitement and put a thumb out so he knows it's me. The vehicle stops to pick me up. I open the door and climb in like it's now a bus or some jacked up truck. I look up and the top half of the driver is shrouded in darkness but I can clearly see shaved feminine legs. I climb the rest of the way in and sit down. I try to change the character into CL visualizing his face but as the light clears things up I see that it is a young attractive woman. She is petite and slender with dark short cropped hair. She looks like she is wearing something like a Laura Croft outfit and I admire her beauty briefly.

Confused, I ask, "Where is CanisLucidus?" Her response is garbled and sounds like gibberish and I try making sense of it but I think I get the gist of it. "You mean you already dropped him off at my house?"
Responds with a clear, "Yes."
"Ahhhhh... Well, just call him up on the cell and tell him to teleport in here with us."
She pulls a cellphone out of her pocked and dials. She says something sort of garbled again but it sounds like she is doing what I asked.

I look at the road now and see what we are driving down a long hallway with many doors. Each time we get close to one it opens. I notice there are many different types. Some white some brown. Some wooden. Some metal. Now I feel like I am running. I start to turn back to see If CL is with me but I abruptly wake up.


As soon as I open my eyes there is a bright flash of lightning in the room. I assume the storm woke me which explains my dream a little.

Next, I pretty much pass out hard until 10:30am with very little recall.

#171 - 4:41AM - WILD/OBE

I am too wakeful during my WILD so I turn on the irrational thought while maintaining focus on my face and back of neck. Soon that "feeling" alerts me and I focus more on my body. The moment I do that the vibrations start.

I transition out easily unhindered this time but I notice a strange sound. It's my own snoring. It sounds odd and half like apnea, like my breathing is obstructed. I think that I just need to adjust my pillow or roll over to my side but I don't want the dream to end so soon. I try to just ignore it.

I go into the dark kitchen and flip the light switch. Nothing. I try again and imagine the florescent lights flickering on. It works! I am now in the well lit kitchen and notice how everything looks pretty much the same. Including those dishes we failed to do last night. My throat feels extremely dry and I see a glass of water on the floor. I pick it up and drink it but it tastes something like warm spit. I realize I am probably just swallowing drool in my sleep. Either way it's gross and I instinctively get some more water out of the tap only to have the same effect. Good God this snoring is annoying. I try to even out my breathing but it only helps when I concentrate on it. I decide to try to briefly wake myself and roll over but I feel stuck in the dream and can't wake up.

My efforts put me back in my dream bed and I feel like spinning and I do so until I am standing next to my bed. (NOTE TO SELF: This may prove to be a useful way of teleporting if I can change my location by changing my expectations.) I can still hear my horrible breathing and it really distracts me from any goals I have. I think about just holding my breath until I wake up but the last time I did that was really painful. I decide to just wait this one out and play with the environment. It's really dark again and I wander into the bathroom. I decide to get some light in here by opening the blinds. The right one was only dark void but the left one lit up the room. I look around and notice the shower is actually on the window side. This is totally backwards but it doesn't matter to me. Then, the dream starts getting dark and I concentrate on the light. I close and open the dark side and now there is twice the light.

For some reason the snoring is so distracting that I just literally hang out in the bathroom. I float up and climb on top of the shower doors. Then I hang there as menthol kicks in. (Is this really the expectation now?!) I imagine my wife coming in and giving me a blow job. She doesn't show up but now I am really excited. I float into the bedroom. I try not to look at my side of the bed and don't worry about seeing my other body. I focus just on her. She is awake sitting up and ready for me with a warm smile. The light coming in from the window makes me feel like it's early morning. The rest of the dream is none of your business! But ultimately my snoring was so distracting that I didn't fully enjoy it as much as I could have. At some point I closed my eyes during my love making and the dream broke apart waking me up. That was a bitter sweet moment as I was enjoying the realism of the dream but I was so glad that horrible sound stopped.

This is the second time I have had breathing issues on my back during a lucid. Perhaps I should look into that!

#162 - 4:42AM - WILD

I WILD straight into a scene outside. I was thinking about the beach and I remember sand but not much else. I didn't really do any control that I know of and just went with the dream enjoying the hell out of every second of being lucid.


At some point I have an FA. My wife keeps talking to me and I think she is the reason why I woke up. I tell her to shutup and leave me alone but she ignores that. After awhile I tell her, "I will slap you in the face if you don't leave me alone." She keeps talking then... WHAM! I vividly feel my right hand connect with her face.

I freeze. She doesn't make any sound or seem to move. I feel totally awful that just hit my wife! I expect her to go ballistic on me but nothing happens. Then I realize this has to be a dream. I roll over a little to note the feel. Yep that feels like my dream body. Sluggish, numb, and a little slow.

I move close to my wife to apologize. I still feel so horrible. We cuddle we automatically have sex.(menthol?) We do it for several minutes then I realize this is sort of a waste of time. The sensation isn't very realistic and I really don't want to risk waking up or *eehem* make a mess.


This dream is super long and unfortunately I have a huge memory gap here as well.

I am outside what looks like my back deck. I see the ground and it has no grass. I decide to teleport out of here but have no real plan. Just thinking about a sliders wormhole causes the view of my privacy fence to distort into ripples but there is no light or color. I raise a hand and see a sheet of rainbow static and then it breaks like glass. I summon the sliders device and point it at the fence. A beam shoots out and makes a proper wormhole. It doesn't last for but a second. Too bad. I give up and decide to teleport by falling backward. I relax and do the "Nestea Plunge"

The scene goes black and I feel myself softly land in my bed. I feel disappointed. I wait and notice slight vibrations but wonder if that was just expectation. I RC again by slightly moving my legs. Yep that feels like my dream body. I throw my legs over the side and scoot out of bed. This time I feel slightly stuck but force through it. I stand up and feel a little wobbly at first but it straightens out. I begin to hear some strange whispering coming from behind me and it frightens me. I don't turn turn around to look. I just say out loud, "SHUTUP.". It stops. I notice how vivid my voice is and my awareness moves to my mouth. I marvel how I'm really in bed asleep.

I walk into the living room and start to head outside. Again, I can think of no real plan just enjoying the dream. I begin to think about how super long the dream has been and think back to the beginning. I feel like I have it all in memory but I may have been lying to myself. During my retrospection I really didn't pay much attention to where I was going and was surprised when a DC stops me.

He is standing there blocking my exit from the house. The really odd thing about him was that he was headless. I feel like I know him but I'm shocked and really creeped out now. I look closer and notice that he is an exact copy of me but with out a head. There is no gore where the head should be. There's not even a neck. It's just smooth skin from shoulder to shoulder with a slight dip where the neck should start. I command him, "Tell me what you represent!" No answer. I know that he doesn't have a head but this a dream and there is no reason why he can answer me. I poke him in the chest, "If you don't answer me I will throw you out of here."
I wait and stare at him were his head should be. Looking at his neckless torso was just too much.

Slowly, he answers in a small timid voice. "Second Contentment" (but it sounds like second contentiment)
I'm still a little freaked so I come on really strong here. Annoyed, I yell, "SECOND CONTENTMENT? WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN!?!"
After a moment, he even more timidly replies, "I don't know."
I notice the door is wide open behind him and the porch light is on. I step forward to move outside and he moves with me. When we get on the porch I say, "Well guess what? I lied. Get the hell out of here." I push him off the porch and he flips into the flower bed and vanishes into the darkness.

Thinking back I wish I had been a little more gentle with him and tried to get some better answers. For whatever reason this is a part of myself that needed some attention and I was a mean bastard. The whole thing was just so damned creepy that I couldn't take it. Maybe next time I can be more calm.

I step out into the street. The scene was getting dark and I really had to try hard to maintain visuals. It feels windy and I feel like my eyes are drying out. Suddenly I realize that my physical eyes are open and must have been open for awhile. I can see the bedroom door. I don't panic but close my eyes and focus on seeing on the back of my eyelids. after some focus I DEILD back into the dream.

I see the neighbor getting in a car but I ignore him. I start thinking how I can't remember any goals. The only thing I could think of is how I was thinking earlier in the day that it would interesting to fly into work during an OBE. I live only 7 blocks away in real life so why not? I start in that direction down the street.

I see a long rectangular shape in the distance at the end of the street where it Ts off. (This still may have been my door) I focus on that spot and feel my body get light. I put my hands in front of me and my legs back. I get the strange focus effect and zoom straight there. Then I fly up over the houses and into the parking lot at work.

For some reason there are several dumpsters in the way. I note four are blocking my path to the long walkway leading to the doors. Two are blue, one is red, and one is green. I weave through them crouched and sneaking. I stand up right when I realize there is no need to be sneaky. Now, I see the doors as I slowly fly to them. It is dark inside and only outside night lights are on. Let there be light. Let there be light. Let there be light. Soon I see some bright fluorescent lights flicker on. Alright thank you! I fly up to the doors and phase through the glass windows. I land upright inside.

I take a look around and let out a loud "WOW!" The entire production area in this part of the plant has been cleared out. Instead of brick and steel there is sheet rock that has been taped and mudded but still bare with no texture or paint. Someone has built a stage on the left and down on the other side the break room has been opened up into a concession stand. I see Glen and Steve down there eating and walk to them. Glen is eating nachos and Steve has fried chicken. Before I speak to them I notice a guy on stage. I didn't notice then but can't help but think that he looks like anderj101. He is holding a black electric guitar and is standing next to a black baby grand piano. He seems messing with some equipment and waiting for people to show up. I ask him, "What am I supposed to do? I can't work like this." I don't remember his reply but it wasn't helpful. I jokingly ask, "Can I have sex on stage?" (menthol?)
He laughs and says, "Hell yeah. I'll play Final Fantasy Pewter Shooter while you do it."
I notice I am walking among tables now and I have a empty metal coffee can in my hand. I am tossing it up and catching it and beating on it like a drum. Just being fidgety like in real life. I get within inches from him and turn my left ear. Laughing, I ask, "Can you repeat that? Did you say Pewter Shooter or Peter Shooter?"
He acts like he can't remember and mutters, "Hmm... Peter. Pewter. I don't know. I think it was pewter."
"Are you sure because I want to remember this so I can look it up later." For some reason I don't want to mention that it's a dream. It feels like my great secret and a joke on the DCs.
"I'll probably forget half this shit anyway."

I freeze. Suddenly I remember how incredibly long this dream has been. I freak out that I will forget all of it. With this thought I open my eyes.

I'm not entirely sure but I want to say this dream got on close to an hour. It's really impossible to tell though.

I later had some non-lucids

Work
I was running a strange braid machine at work putting green nomex on a cable. It turned into a big confusing mess.

The bar 5:58AM
I was in some swanky bar walking out. There was a table with a big potted plant. I walk around it to be block by the only table with a yellow table cloth. There was an old man sitting with a young woman at a connecting table. I say, "Oops sorry" and side step them. He looks annoyed. Then I stop and suddenly want some beer. I turn back to the bar.

There is a middle ages mixed race woman. I ask her for "2 Budweiser Lemon... No I mean Lime."
She looks pissed off and hatefully says, "You want 2?"
I nod
With a smirk she tell me, "That's $18.30" She turns to get them and I start fishing in my wallet for a 20. I start thinking how much beer I could buy and take home for $20. I look down and notice she already has 2 bottles open and ready with a yellow label. Lemon?. I think about running away but instead I reluctantly hand her the $20.

Much later I have a nice DEILD that I'll post separate.

Galantamine Dreams

I just had a series of false awakenings/Dreams that took me deeper than anything ive experienced before. I've recently been trying out the Galantamine/Choline combo from Dreamamins over the past week, and while I haven't become lucid while on them yet I always have false awakenings and intense Dreams anyway. What follows is the most intense series of Dreams and false awakenings I've had to date. What I've written is only what I could remember because by the time the last one was over, the first had already begun to fade from memory. I must admit that I felt a little trapped, like I was unable to wake from these Dreams but I kept trying, hence the amount of false awakenings. I liked it, It felt like separate lives...

In the first, I Dreamt that I was following Jeremy Renner around because he was some kind of secret agent. I don't remember exactly what happened anymore but I do remember that at one point he was being hunted by the Russian government, and at some point we walked into a room that had several people strapped to gurneys, all of them bled out and dead. There were two Russians in the room, I was given the impression that one was a doctor and the other was simply a killer. When I first walked in, i saw a larger man twitching on the gurney closest to me as though he weren't quite dead, but dying, and about six others who were dead. I also saw the killer Russian bent over a last victim slicing open their neck. As soon as they saw us, I became Jeremy Renner, or I should say, the secret agent. The Russian had two scalpels, but they were larger than they should've been and he came at me yelling and extremely intimidating. I found that at that moment I had two knives as well and we began to fight. He sliced and jabbed at me and I managed to deflect and protect myself rather expertly. This went on for a good minute and I began to think about the fight too much, and he sliced one of my hands forcing me to drop the knife. Then he tackled me and bit a chunk of my ear off, and the Dream went black, but I didn't wake up.

The next thing I remember is being in some kind of basement where people were working on something I'm still not sure of, but I remember there being farm animals there. I remember washing my hands with bloody plastic gloves on, and I remember seeing the smallest giraffe and gorilla ever. I mean tiny, just about a foot and a half tall, and they looked like they were made out of arts and crafts decorations but they were moving. I thought to myself how cute they were and that my girlfriend would want to see them so I tried to take a pic, but the other people there said that pics weren't allowed so I didn't take any, I just pet them. I was also warned that the giraffe bites, so I was trying to be careful with it, but every time I tried to pet his head he tried to take a piece of my finger off. Little bastard. Then I "woke" from this Dream.

I awoke to our bedroom and was a little disappointed that my Galantamine hadn't helped me to become lucid, again. I remember that I turned on the radio and started blasting P.O.D.'s here comes the boom out the window in response to our new neighbors being noisy jackasses. Then I remember my girl being in the next room and coming in to talk to me. Now, when I fell asleep before all these Dreams, my girls mom was supposed to come home for lunch while my girl is at work, this confused me because her mom wasn't home and she was, so I asked her what was up with that. She said she didn't know where her mom was and was carrying a pair of scissors in her hand. She was walking away from me and reached for something on the dresser, which I snatched from her fearing that she had done away with her mom and I was next. Tis isn't something I actually fear in real life but somehow was a concern in the Dream. When I grabbed it, it was the size of one of those poppers kids get that they throw at stuff, and it said TNT on it. The Dream faded and I was laying in bed.

The next Dream I remember was odd too but not so much. I had a false awakening and thought I woke up from the last Dream and that I was in bed. I even remember looking at the clock and seeing the time correctly, it was about where it should have been. The next thing I remember I was on the balcony of our apartment with the iPad, writing like I do, and our new neighbors were being jackasses again and he was messing with his truck for whatever reason. They like to do doughnuts in the middle of the night, but this time he did something else, he just peeled out and tried to take off but something, probably me, made his truck flip over. It landed on its top and was smashed to shit, I loved it. I loudly proclaimed YES! when this happened. I remember him getting out of the truck and he started yelling at me and I told him that's what he got for being a stupid jackass and that the next time it happened it hoped he didn't walk away from it. At this point he went into his apartment and I realized that I wasn't alone, there were people everywhere inside my own apartment. It was like our two apartments weren't separated anymore and every annoying jackass he hung out with was now sitting at my dining table, watching my tv, and standing on my balcony! My balcony was also smaller all of a sudden and I had to magically work my way around the other fools there to get inside. I even remember wanting to tell some dude to get out of my chair, but I didn't. When I made it to the kitchen, I saw my neighbor sitting there, crying. I went to go talk to him and I put my hand on his back and asked him why he was so upset, just to be nice, and he ended up asking me if I wanted to go outside and play racquetball with him to make him feel better. I said yes but that I would have to go put my IPad away and get my racquet. I stepped into the room that I thought was mine to discover a couple in there, under the covers, doing things.... I immediately told them to get out because I was certain I was in the right place and this was just too much. Then I took a look around and realized that it wasn't my room after all! I apologized profusely to them and grabbed my IPad before heading out. I was incredibly confused by this, I had no idea what was going on anymore, so i left the apartment completely to see if I was even in the right one. Turns out I really was next door, but the outside of the doors were decorated for Christmas... I knocked on our apartment and my girls mom answered in her robe. I asked her what month it was, and she told me it was November. She told me this as I walked into the apartment, and my neck was scratched by the wreath we had on the door. All at once I began to have trouble breathing, couldn't fathom that I had lost six months time, and dropped to my knees in disbelief at everything that had happened. This is when I finally awoke and realized that everything that had just happened, all four or five Dreams, had been just that. In less than 90 minutes.

I should mention that absolutely none of the reality checks that I tried worked, I did ask myself several times during the course of these Dreams if I was Dreaming. I was fooled every time. I think that since perhaps the Galantamine makes me more aware, my Dreams respond in kind. They are made more believable, to a point. If I was a master at ADA, then I would've had no problem becoming lucid, but for the level I'm currently at it was enough to trick me.

took:
- no 5-HTP before going to sleep
- 0 dose galantamine + choline
- no Piracetam when I got up
lucid dreaming: 0 lucid experiences
note:
- had a problem with the ZEO headband slipping off last night, this is the first time this has ever happened, so no chart today

took:
- no 5-HTP before going to sleep
- 0 dose galantamine + choline
- no Piracetam when I got up
lucid dreaming: 0 lucid experiences
note:
- still are some bugs with my ZEO USB setup, need a more subtle way to alert myself that I'm in REM
- the worst night of sleep, as the chart shows, with many outside factors disturbing my sleep all night

took:
- no 5-HTP before going to sleep
- 0 dose galantamine + choline
- no Piracetam when I got up
lucid dreaming: 0 lucid experiences
note:
- continued with my new ZEO setup, with USB attached to a laptop for real time night tracking. When the laptop reads REM sleep from the ZEO it triggers a sound to indicate that it's "LD time".
- unfortunately the software still needs a few more bugs worked out, the period while falling asleep has similar readings as during REM sleep