All DJ Entries

A wild chain of false awakenings and DEILDs finally led me to a most interesting encounter with Wife's DC, who was even more irrepressible than usual. This was the first of two lucid dreams from last night's session with galantamine.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #46: The Blind Man, the Bully, and the Nerd

I'm in the kitchen with Wife. I'm talking to her but I'm almost completely blind. I'm embarrassed by my blindness, convinced that it's some side effect of the galantamine that I just took. Rather than seek medical attention, I try to slink up to bed so Wife won't know. Unfortunately, she keeps asking me to hand her things, and I flail around the kitchen knocking things over. "What's wrong with you?" she asks. I have a false awakening into...

...sitting on the floor of our living room as my 1-year-old son "R" runs around me. My vision is dim but I can see better than before. I'm still convinced that I'm suffering from some kind of bizarre galantamine side effect. R is sprinting around the room, pulling objects off of tables, knocking stuff over, and tossing various knickknacks into the recycling bin. I try to stop him, but he just laughs, squirting right through my arms when I try to grab him. He says, "This is so fun, Daddy!" and I briefly become lucid, remembering that he's way too young to speak like that.

I quickly wake up but keep my eyes shut and hold still for a DEILD... and I find myself lying in a bed in a room I don't know. I get up, ready to explore. A strange, gnome-like creature with a hooked nose hops off of the floor and gets in my face, waving his arms wildly about. He's about three feet tall, covered with warts, extremely agile, and very annoying. He brags to some unseen listener: "See? I can stop him from doing what he wants in this dream!"

I try to leave the room but the little gnome keeps hopping up in my face, cackling and poking at me. He jabs me in the eyeball and I get incredibly angry. I grab the gnome by the throat, push him to the floor and hold him there. He growls and kicks his legs, but he isn't able to move. Even though he's immobilized, I'm so out of control that I still punch him once, hard right under his left eye. I immediately feel terrible about this and release my grip, allowing him to scamper away.

I stand there brooding about this for a moment before the gnome walks back in. He no longer looks disgusting and infuriating, but just like a small little man. I tell him, "I'm sorry that I hit you. I didn't need to do that." He walks up to me, points at his blackened left eye and softly says, "Fix." I nod, touching his bruised skin, and the black eye immediately heals. "All right, hug it out," I say and I kneel down to hug the little dude. The dream fades...

I buckle down for another DEILD and in a few seconds I'm back in another bed room, although it's different from the last. I'm standing and Wife is here making the bed. "Hey!" I say. "This is a lucid dream. Quit making that bed and let's go play."

She keeps making the bed. "You can go do what you like, but this work still needs to get done."

I can't believe it. "But it's all a dream. You don't have to worry about whether beds get made. Come on, I've got lucid goals I want to work on."

She stops for a second, laughs, and looks at me, wrinkling up her nose a bit. "Lucid goals? What does that even mean? You better not be trying to arrange a threesome on the bed that I just spent all this time making!"

"Come on, get serious. You'll like this... I want to visit the Great Pyramid." Then I look at her, hold out my right hand and say, "You will come with me."

She laughs. "Oh my God, nerd! I can't believe you just tried to 'command' me. Is that the kind of stuff you do in these dreams of yours?"

I smile, amazed at how like herself she is and how much I'm enjoying her company. "I think I can do this, though," I say, and levitate her a few feet off of the ground. She looks amused.

I float her over to me and set her on the ground. When I try to kiss her she doesn't resist. I feel her fingers graze my left temple but then she turns to walk away. "I still need to make this bed," she says, as the dream fades.

The second of two WILDs that I experienced last night on galantamine. This dream was much longer than it sounds, since I was in the mood to watch, go slowly, and take in the scenery. Once again I asked a question of my subconscious, and the "answer" struck me as much more ambiguous this time.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #42: The War of the Wolves

The WILD drops me at a dinner party in a fancy house. All of the DCs here are in cocktail dresses and tuxedos. All are strangers.

I walk out into the night past a stone patio, looking up to admire the dome of stars above me tonight. Just past the patio is a sort of desert garden. It's a huge, man-made sandpit where well-tended cacti and yucca plants grow among carefully arranged boulders and signs that indicate the name of each species of plant.

I decide to ask my subconscious a question. "Should I ever try galantamine again?" I shout. There's no vocal reply, but a large, gray wolf creeps from around one of the boulders. He looks at me, saying nothing, but slowly baring his teeth.

My two Siberian Husky dogs (IWL pets) emerge from behind a boulder of their own, and charge at the wolf! They're much smaller than the wolf, but they unhesitatingly go after him. K (the female) lunges for his neck, but the wolf swivels his hind end around and parries her to the side. The wolf swats B (the male) in the face before pouncing on him and bringing him to the ground.

The fight is ugly and one-sided, but (fortunately) completely bloodless. My two dogs run off further into the desert and the wolf approaches me. I'm afraid of him, but try not to dwell on it. I extend my hand toward him, palm forward, as if to say, "Stop." He seems to sense that this is more a plea than a command, and he lunges at me, biting down hard on my hand! For a moment, the pain is alarmingly vivid, but I do my best to ignore it.

After a moment, the pain subsides and the wolf lets up his pressure. Silently, he turns and walks off into the desert. I walk further along, the coolness of the desert air quickly calming me. Eventually I happen upon a dark sea. By now I feel totally at peace. I stand on the shore and watch the waves for a while until the dream ends.

The first of two WILDs that I experienced last night on my first-ever trial with galantamine. Both of these dreams were very vivid and stable but had a much more somber, vulnerable feel than my usual LDs. Confidence was far, far below normal levels, which gave this dream a very different shape than most for me.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #41: This Mortal Life

I'm in a high-rise condo, looking out over a nighttime cityscape. I float to the window but it feels like it takes much more effort than usual. The beauty of the city below captivates me, though, and I spend a long while watching the headlights of the cars below as they travel the grid of city streets.

Outside of the condo is a bank lobby. All manner of friends and family from my waking life are wandering about conducting their business. I talk at length with different people I've lost touch with, asking them about what direction life has taken them. As I talk to each of them, they gradually grow old and tired, sitting down in chairs along the walls of the room. Once seated, the old version of the person looks away from me and lapses into silence.

The adjacent room is a grand ballroom where a group of perhaps two dozen strangers is having a cocktail party. The level of detail on these DCs is unnecessarily high, bordering on ridiculous. Shoulder blades shifting gently under the skin, moles, those subtle wrinkles that you don't notice in waking life.

I want to move on to a new location, and I think of the "Trinity" atomic detonation Task of the Year. I planned to portal, so I try to produce a portal gun with an over-the-shoulder grab I've used time and again to produce items. But I see my hyper-detailed shadow on the floor, and it's got nothing on its back. Sure enough, my hand comes back empty. I try this over and over, but after enough tries I have to give in. I try phasing through a pane of glass, but it's as solid as waking life. I try floating, but now I seem rooted to the ground. Even though I know that all of this is my dream, I just can't muster the confidence and belief necessary to put this into action. I feel like just another DC in my own dream.

Outside of the ballroom I spot Wife walking with my sister-in-law and brother-in-law. I join them, and she tells me that they're heading down to the vaults underground. I'm interested, and I follow them through a long series of tunnels. I spend much of this time trying to convince Wife to try out lucid dreaming, but she keeps insisting that she's got important business in the vaults to worry about first. As I probe further into this, the dream ends.

Details
cool down - 10PM - 11PM
sleep start - 11:25PM
wake up with trouble getting back to sleep - 4:20AM galantamine + choline
could not get back to sleep up for 50m
lucid dreaming - 5:15AM to 7:40AM even during light sleep, 2 lucid experiences

Another experiment with galantamine

Details
Migraine tonight, no chance of running the experiment, does help allow the galantamine to completely exit my system for the next night

The late period of Deep sleep around 5:30AM is a warning sign that this was a poor night's sleep

Another experiment with galantamine

Details
cool down - 10PM - 11PM
sleep start - 11PM
brief wake up with a little trouble getting back to sleep - 12:30
alarm - 5AM, galantamine + choline
lucid dreaming - 5AM to 7AM even during light sleep, 6 lucid experiences - attr: intense, dark, false awakenings, local

Nonlucid, Lucid, Partially lucid
April 6, 2012:

Slept for 4 hours, then took 8mg of GalantaMind

As I am going back to sleep, I feel my body get lighter. I crawl out of bed, out of my physical body. I can't see very well.
Suddenly I'm back in bed again. I feel like I roll over onto my back. I reach up and I can feel the ceiling with my hands, and I knock on it.

Now I can see and I am floating in my room. I see out the window that the sky is purple and then changes to dark blue.
Now I am in a room with carpet on the floor and walls, maybe the ceiling too. I am lucid.
The bottom part of the walls look rotted away. I go to what looks like stairs going down, but it's just a shallow hole in the floor.

Then I go into a bathroom. The toilet also has a carpet-like cover on the lid. I see my reflection in a mirror. It loos scary, like a zombie.
Now I am in a parking lot with no cars, surrounded by a chain fence and tall trees. A zombie falls from a tree into the fenced-in parking lot. I try to ignore it, knowing it can't bother me if I don't let it.
But then I go pick it up. it is just a plastic skeleton with a ridiculous looking smushed-in face.
I say "This isn't my best dream." I lie down on my back with the skeleton beside me. "But listen to that," I say. I can hear crickets and maybe frogs or birds. It is rather nice.
Then I wake slightly, back in my bed.
I don't move and I enter another dream.

This one involves flying while carrying three ladies. I discover that one of the women has both male and female genitals. We play around for a bit until I wake up again.

I am outside, in the front yard of my childhood home.
I say aloud "I'm on an adventure to help someone! I'm like Fin from Adventure Time."
It is dark out. I say "Too bad it's night time." Then I see the sun very low on the horizon and decide that it is the morning sunrise. Soon it is light out.

There are lots of animals around. especially a lot of cats near the house. I ask them if they need help. I move some object so they can get to some food. Then there are lots more cats around. I say to myself "I wonder if there really are so many cats outside our house. Surely there's no so much junk in our yard."
There are big piles of garbage around me.

I keep walking and find a shop full of glass objects on glass shelves. There are little bowls with figures on them and hanging glass shaped like people, like art mannequins. I break something by throwing it, but mostly just look at things.

I think of trying to smoke something and getting high. Probably because the glass bowls remind me of pipes. But instead I find a Chinese restaurant. I say "I can help finish soup."
I go to the owner, a little bald Chinese man, and ask him if I can help by cleaning the floors or washing dishes, or whatever.
He eventually agrees to let me clean the floor. This is not very exciting, but at least it is helping someone. We go to a room in the back. Employees are checking out.
We are about to get the mop when I wake up.

It is slightly disappointing that I didn't follow through, even though it would have been boring mopping a floor in a lucid dream.

dream : comments : lucid

7th of February, 2012

Another big one! Sorry they're so long- I just have to include everything for myself.

I took a Galantamind pill at 8:30am and tried to get back to sleep but failed miserably.
I went and lay on the couch and watched a bit of Jurassic Park and kept trying to doze off but the TV was keeping me awake and my brother kept disturbing me.



Then I had a false awakening where I looked at a clock and it spontaneously occurred to me I was dreaming. I went into the hallway and heard noises from a nearby room. It was dark inside so I tried to turn a light on which obviously didn't work. "Duh!" I thought and casually left.

At that point I found myself in a backyard and jumped onto the roof and was touching everything. The clothesline was higher than the roof which I thought was a pretty cool thing to randomly think up. I tried to fly a bit but couldn’t really control myself and landed in the back yard where I was rolling around with Nooks in clean clothes like a little kid.
I could still hear the TV playing so I yelled to increase lucidity and Nooks said “okay! SHUT UP!” and woke me up.

I attempted a DEILD while focussing on running and materialised outside a small block of apartment buildings surrounded by grass and trees. I was running still and realised that I needed to settle down and just sit and focus on relaxing for future endeavours, even if it did mean wasting this dream.

I went looking for a nice place to sit but everywhere was a bit too... urban.

I eventually settled on a little patch of grass near a tennis court. So I sat on down and just looked around at the sky and the dirt and my hands and the trees and the grass and the clouds and really focussed on my senses.
Nooks, Courtney and Byron joined me and I began to feel myself swallowing in real life so I dove into the ground but rolled around in blackness and came back to the same spot. Didn’t wake up though, so I suppose it worked. I sat for a bit longer then dove again into the ground.

SPLASH! I emerged from water in a bath with Nooks. Who had a Captain Planet mullet haircut. We had sexy bath times and then she started drowning and I was like “OH! I could have sex with her while she’s dead!” Then I realised that was really creepy and picked her up and took her into a bedroom instead. On our way, Jono came out with exactly the same haircut and I laughed.

So I sat on the bed and thought I could still hear the TV invading my dreams and watched as the wall glowed in time with the sounds. I noticed that there were little green glowing arrows on the walls as well, but still got bored pretty quickly and went out a window onto a deck.
It was night time and the decks were all interconnected. I had to ninja myself in and out of windows and over railings to get outside. While I was doing it, I was dictating out loud how I’d write it on DreamViews but I forgot on waking up.
Outside, my vision was a bit blurry so I commanded lucidity and it helped. After some insignificant stuff it was day time and a bunch of cloaked people were around. We were standing on a huge raised platform made of dark redwood. There were benches and small doors around that I didn’t explore too fully. The people started getting restless so I thought I’d show them who’s boss and I Fus Ro Dah’d* a bunch of them.

It was really funny and ineffective, like my brain couldn’t make it work so instead they just pretended it worked and jumped back making “ooh” noises. I got irked and made one guy fly up to the roof and attempted to make a fireball which sort of worked.
After that, the Imperial March started playing and I felt tough so naturally they followed me.
I went to a ledge and wanted adventure so I looked out over quite a serene bay. I saw an island and said “let’s go!” and flew to it.
I landed at a little boat which quickly turned into a buoy which I sailed to the island.
There, three identically dressed men were lying on top of each other in the sand. Wanting to just see what my dream could do, I pleasantly asked what they were up to. They replied they were trying to fix a telephone cable but had no mobile reception.

“No worries!”
I said I could help and lo and behold there was suddenly a giant pole on the island stretching upwards but all bendy. They began attaching bags to it for whatever reason and suddenly there was a highway over the island.
Mitchell and Jono were now there smoking weed. He offered me and Nooks some and I said sure but it didn’t eventuate.

“Wanna come over for breakfast?” Mitchell asked.

“Nah thanks. I don’t need food here.”

“Breakfast in bed then?” He continued.

I smiled. “I am in bed!!”

We walked about for a minute or two longer and then I moved my leg which woke me up in real life 15 seconds before my alarm went off.
Which was weird, because in an earlier dream which I now forget I’d said “PHONE!” just before Nooks’ alarm went off as well.



Oh. And by the way. I never went and watched Jurassic Park. That was all total false awakening.
It’s a bit annoying in a way because due to that, the rest of the dreams seemed a bit light, like I was trying hard not to wake up. I realised later that if I’d just let myself wake, I would have in fact been in a far more stable dream instead.

I do also hope I'm not becoming reliant on galantime to become lucid, though it does have a really good induction rate! I imagine if anything it's just helping me recognise signs... Hopefully.



*one of my lucid goals. Skyrim is awesome.

I was standing outside my home, and things seemed rather normal, but suddenly a space shuttle-like craft flew across the sky.
This made me realize that I was dreaming - and I did some stabilization techniques.
I walked towards the point in the sky, which the craft had passed by, but it was already gone. When I stopped trying to chase down the craft, the scenery had completely changed, and I found a small cottage. I went in and saw an old man.
I talked to him for a while, though I don't remember much of the conversation. I ended up asking him if he knew anything about my dream guide (since this has been a goal of mine lately).
He pointed me towards a bar/casino-ish establishment, by showing me a picture of their logo - it said "POKER" with each letter enframed by the outline of a card.

I went in the direction of the place, and finally found it. Though to my surprise it looked more like a cave than a house on the inside.
I walked through a corridor and found 4 people within. They seemed to be playing cards - seemed to be texas-hold-em. I greeted them when their game was over, and told them why I was here.
They told me about a doll, which was supposedly buried in the cave - which they figured could be related to my dream guide. I think my level of lucidity was rather low, as I didn't really question it, but rather summoned a shovel in my hands and started digging.
After a while, I did indeed find a doll - but it was made from what seemed like pumpkins and apples.
I digged a little bit further and found a hollow space filled with various types of fruit.

I awoke a few times during the dream, but was able to re-enter it by DEILDing - after this point however, I seemed to be too awake to fall asleep again.
The dream lasted for quite a while due to the re-enterings, and this is just an outline - the lucidity was rather low, but the contents sure were weird :/

Tonight I decided to try out Galantamine and Choline - which resulted in very vivid dreams and remembering more dreams than usual.

One of them, although not lucid, really impressed me. It was an FA and it went like this.
I woke up, looked at my alarm clock and realized it was almost 7 AM. I usually get up at 5:30 and go to work, so I panicked thinking I overslept.
I rushed to the shower, washed and when I stepped out I woke up (for real this time).
I looked at the alarm clock and realized it was only 3 AM.
It was a very short dream, but it was certainly the most vivid FA I have ever had - it seemed to incorporate what I read about Galantamine making you sleepy/drowsy during the day. (Making me think I overslept)


Anyway, on to the lucid!

I found myself standing in a two-room building, it was very small and I noticed I was dreaming, due to my vision being blurry/wavy - almost as if I was underwater.
I knelt down to stabilize by touching the carpet - first I looked at it, and my vision became super clear - it felt like I could see all the tiny details in the fabric. Then I tried touching it, closing my eyes to emphasize the feeling.

I struggled a bit to open my eyes, and I was afraid for a moment that I was waking up.
I succeeded and figured I needed to stabilize a little more.
I looked at my hands, my fingers were sort of squirming around making them seem snake-like.
I rubbed my hands together while looking at them.

The dream now seemed stable, so I went outside.
Outside I saw a bunch of DCs walking in a market-like square, I calmly walked around wanting to interact with one of them.
I finally picked someone to talk to, she was holding what seemed like a bag of bread - I walked up to her and said "Hi, how are you?".
She replied by saying "I'm having lunch!" and shoving me away with her arm - this surprised me a bit, and I woke up.

I stayed still to re-enter the dream, and I found myself back in the small house.
There was a girl with long brown hair, asking me which shirt I would like - a brown or a black.
The shirts had numbers on them, like the ones used at some sport events - turned out that's exactly what they were.
I chose the black one, not knowing that meant I had to take part in a long-distance run (I really dislike running!).

I went out and lined up for the event. When we started, I was lacking behind after a very short time.
I figured I could run faster if I expected to - this was my dream after all.
It took quite an effort at first, I had to really push my legs to move faster and faster, but after a while it seemed natural.
I ended up winning the race, and the excitement woke me up.

I re-entered the same dream a couple of times that night, but they were either very short or I don't remember a lot of detail.
When I finally woke up to get started with my daily routine, I found that the galantamine had not made me any more drowsy than usual - might be the excitement of having a very nice LD

7.30.11.GLD.movieTheater.cloudBattle.txt

i woke up and took:
G+C+1 Ltheanine + kril oil + 1b6

i couldnt get back to sleep, my gf and daughter kept waking me up. i took another l-theanine later.

i am trying to fall asleep and sort of passively wilding, watching the lights behind my eyes. a dream starts to form, but its very dark and doesnt feel 3d, it feels third person-ish. i let it go, but i keep my wits about me and every so often i try to move off, to separate myself, to feel or see my body, but i feel stuck.

... im at a huge outdoor concert, but my perspective is that of a video camera surrounded by heavy cloth looking out onto the drums. one of the TOTMs was to play an instrument in a lucid dream. i have being trying to incubate this by focusing on it before bed, either playing a huge concert or playing the piano (which i succesfully did non-lucid last night.) but i cannot move, i am frozen in the camera perspective. when i try to move again the scene shifts.

... and i am out in an impossibly huge concrete skatepark, again in third person. the concert is happening off in the distance, which i think is pretty cool. there are two guys on a longboard, but one of them has one foot on another longboard, and they are carving the huge banks. (just like me, half-asleep, still aware of my body, with one foot in the dream world) <there is no way, they are gonna make it, how is he still standing?> they head straight for me and the scene shifts again...

... i am in a movie theater, sitting along the wall with my gf, waiting for the movie to start. this scene is another step towards the dream. there has been some kind of technical problem and we are all impatient. (i find this to be a reflection of me WILDING and waiting on the dream to start.) i see my friend danny over by some tables and go to talk to him, still feeling my body and not quite "in" the dream, but getting closer.

he has been on a trip, as our recent (imagined) messages have indicated and we talk for a moment. my gf comes over, grumpy and pregnant, and impatient. (this whole time she is sleeping next to me, occasionally moving and making noises.) we find some seats, but i have to force another guy to move so we can sit together.

the image on the movie screen is too small (another comment on the WILD transition) and a guy's voice starts droning. now its more like a class auditorium. he is expounding on the virtues of some scientist, all his accomplishments. i focus on his voice. it gets louder and louder. i try to contain my excitement because i know the real show is about to start! his words starts to blend together and get louder and rumblier and more jumbled together. soon it sounds like a jet engine...

... and i am in!i feel a shift and suddenly motion. i am in a fighter at a tremendous altitude. i look out the window and see full color, 3d, lifelike clouds. i hear machine gun fire as we zoom close to a cloud bank and i see that it is actually some kind of enemy turret disguised in the clouds.

<how am i going to get out? i know, i am a paratrooper and they will "fire" me into the mothership! i can then have some fun before i teleport / fly out and take care of the TOTM or one of my other goals.>



i look out the window again and see a huge floating fortress come into view. it is brown and has long tentacles floating, there are other ships battling around it. just as they are about to lanch my "pod"...

my gfs phone rings and i hurtle back to my body with almost painful force.

ahhh life is so beautiful.