All DJ Entries

1. It's nighttime. I'm sitting around drinking something with a friend, when suddenly I start to feel pretty bad. The dreamview switches to a close-up of my digestive tract, which shows itself to be swollen and red and close to exploding. This continues for an uncomfortable time, showing different organs, when the view suddenly goes third-person. My body explodes, splattering blood on the dream "camera" and causing an elderly couple to comment on my rudeness.

2. My brother, my roommate, and I are chasing the girls who live at my research station around the halls. Eventually they start to fight back, and I do parkour down the (IRL nonexistent) basement stairwell to hide from them.

1. I'm attending some sort of video game expo, watching a high-production pitch for a game that seems sort of a cross between Metal Gear Solid and Grand Theft Auto. During the demo, one of the military showpieces breaks. The presenter gets angry and shouts, "We'll make a fucking car!" A sports car proceeds to unfold from the wreckage of that showpiece.

2. I attend a showing of the movie "Beat It," a cartoon parody of Michael Jackson's life starring Wayland Smithers of the Simpsons in the main role.

3. I am taking part in the chorus of an opera, a modern-day production about the pirates of Africa. The pirate queen is making her grand entrance, cuing a major dance scene; I screw up my footwork, and although my fellows try to accommodate me, eventually the whole number turns to shit.

4. I'm walking around in Paris, France, when I see two men leave a nondescript building. I go to check it out, and find that the building is both unlocked and the French atomic research center. I do parkour down the stairwells of the building to find a top-secret biology paper (something about genetics, and text so a failed RC) lying about. I leave without incident and take the paper back to my rural research station, showing it to my professor K. (who reacts in IRL character).

1. I go to visit my friend P, who is living at the rural research station I currently live it IRL. We talk of nerdy things and eat cake in the library, nothing outrageous or illegal, and then my mom comes to pick me up. Out of the blue, P asks where we should do weed next time; I fear for my mom ever letting me visit the kid again, but he seems nonchalant.

2. While talking with P in the library about applications of force, I find a rocket launcher and use it to bring down a nuclear-armed helicopter. I go back in, then realize another chopper is on the way. This time the rocket fails, and I see the chopper fly up to drop its nuke. Not wanting to die alone, I tell P I have to go do something, and climb the steps to seek out a crush from the research station named V. She's walking to her car as I climb up, and from the stairs I call out for her to wait. When I get down, I explain the situation, and she agrees to let me not die a virgin. There is some confusion as to where we'll do it, but the dream ends before anything,