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I guess you get to an age where you no longer have nightmares, just bad dreams or dreams you didn't like. At least that's the way I see it now. So last night, I had a nightmare - bad dream - of sorts.
I went to bed really late, like 3am, woke up around 5am and as I didn't recall any dream for DEILD, I got up for about an hour.

For some reason I found myself in Joanne's house, living there with her, which would never happen in a million lifetimes.

Spoiler for why I hate Joanne.:

Joanne is the mother of my son Jordan, when I was a teen, I was of an unsavoury character and I spent quite a bit of time in prison. Whilst I was in prison, Joanne found a new boyfriend and at some point, she allowed him to beat my son, 2 at the time, to within an inch of his life. He is now a quadriplegic and only just short of brain dead. So I don't know why I would dream of her, let alone be living with her.

So I found myself living with Joanne, but for some reason another girl named Kate, who I was also seeing turned up, Joanne was out and so I let her in, but then Joanne returned. I explained who Kate was and that she was here and Joanne was fine with it - she always was a soft touch - however Kate wasn't too impressed though she made the most of it with a brave face. After they had spoken, Kate commented that she didn't know what to make of her now she knew she was Irish. I explained she wasn't Irish, in fact she was Scunthorpe born and bred, I said that she puts accents on to try and make herself more interesting to other people, to give herself some kind of personality if you like.

I decided to go out on my bike, but for some reason I didn't take my helmet, I had a hooded top on and thought that would at least keep the police off my back. I was speeding down the road when all of a sudden the steelwork of a building with a jet engine in the centre flew past me at incredible speed almost knocking me off my bike in it's wake. As I turned the bend I saw Carl from Poker waving me down and signalling the police were about. I was going quite fast and when I started to slow down, I noticed for the first time that there was snow on the ground and I had to be really careful. I got off the bike and stood talking to Carl and someone who resembled Shackles.
Shackles or his dream equivalent was saying how he rode all the time and how good he was, when I asked him what he was riding though, he said he's retired for now, which I thought was an odd thing to follow up with.

Scene change - We only own a shower and a very small back yard. Since forever, Diesel and Dutchess have been a nightmare to bathe, also not very fond of water in general. Well just recently, the past couple of summers, we've managed to get Diesel in the water with the aid of sticks, which he calls balls and is obsessed with, to the point that recently he has actually been swimming for a couple of seconds at a time. So yesterday was the hottest it's been this year and I got the idea to take them to the lake and give them a good bath. It was quite funny, but I think they actually both enjoyed it.

Joy and I were walking the dogs down the riverside and we found a place to bathe them. Dutchess went first as she is the least bother, usually just stands stock still until it's over, unlike Diesel who fights me all the way. Afterwards she was swimming in the water when she noticed a seal or sea lion, we'll say seal, she got out to play with it. It seemed to get nasty real quick and I shouted for her to come away from it, as soon as I said this, Dutchess turned into a seal, jumped in the water and started to swim with the seal. Joy then shouted that there were at least four or five of them. The whole scene had a feeling of dread about it, I told Dutchess to get out of the water which she did, as a dog again. As soon as the seals left, I got Diesel to come to me, I was stood in waist deep water with him and I was shouting for Joy to look, as I walked about in the water it got deeper and all of a sudden I stood on something sharp, Diesel was now panicking and I had to hold his head above the water and look at my foot at the same time. There was a yellow drawing pin stuck in my foot and it had some sort of logo on it, though I don't recall what.

We left the river side when both Diesel and Dutchess ran off in different directions, we panicked as we watched both of them encounter accidents, I saw Dutchess get hit by a car, and Joy said something had happened to Diesel, although she didn't say what, they were both lying on the floor immobile. Dutchess was crying and trying to move, but she could only inch along the floor on her belly, Diesel was having fits and convulsions. I didn't know which way to run. Diesel was closest by far, then someone shouted that Dutchess wasn't going to make it and I broke off towards Diesel. As I reached him, he was still fitting and as I moved in closer he fell down a shallow hole. I climbed in to get him and I noticed he'd turned completely grey - something I've dreamt before - I picked him up and cradled him, I was crying as I climbed out of the hole and thinking that I now had to get to Dutchess as quick as possible. I set off towards her, but I never made it. I woke proper at 8am shouting out loud "What an awful bloody dream...!"

I dreamed that Dani was having her birthday party at my house. We were scurrying around setting up during the afternoon, before she arrived. Mom saw a piece of paper taped to a wall that said

Denielle (sic)
(someone else's name)

And she said, "I don't like it when people shorten their names. I mean, if Daniel shortened his name, it would be Danny!" I did not appreciate her comments but didn't say anything - I kind of wanted to tell her to be respectful to Dani on her birthday, but decided just to let it slide.

I wanted to make some tea, so I put some water in the microwave, then went to my room to choose a tea bag. The tea bags were on my piano, just like they are in real life, but they were organized differently, kind of scattered, and some were on the floor. I also thought that there were some boxes I didn't remember having, but I was in a hurry, so I didn't think about it. I rationalized it by thinking that mom had been messing around with my tea. I picked a bag and left. When I got back to the kitchen, the water wasn't done boiling, so I wandered off.

I found myself near the front door (I think some time elapsed without me remembering) and suddenly I remembered that I had forgotten about the tea water. I sort of leapt and ran my way through the library (the floor was grass) to get back to the kitchen, but I thought that maybe the water hadn't cooled down too much.

The next thing I remember is sitting down on the floor of the library with Dani and my sister. Dani and I were sitting next to each other, and my sister was left and forwards of me, like this:

Code:

sister>
         ^^dani
      me

Between Dani and I there was an atmosphere of having been through a lot, with a lot of sadness but happiness at knowing each other.

Dani told my sister, "Did you know that Caleb proposed to me on date night?"

Apparently proposing (I think she meant asking out) on 'date night' was a very creative/adventurous thing to do. When she said this, I felt a complex emotion, with pride and sorrow and happiness, and I just kind of looked at the ground in sadness, but Dani was smiling a sad smile. My sister didn't really know what was going on, she was like a zombie or something.

Then we all got up because guests were starting to arrive. Dani went off to greet people, and I went to drink my tea and generally hide from everyone. There were tons of people, at least 150. Everyone was packed really tight. I caught glimpses of Dani walking around.

I stayed until midnight, then I had to go drive my little brother somewhere. We were driving until he said, stop here. I got out and we switched places so he could drive. There were colored plastic round things scattered across the road. It was dark and in a haunted-forest type of environment, but I wasn't scared. He said, I need practice at Rock Band, so go set up the cones. Apparently the little cones were Rock Band icons, and he wanted to drive over them to practice songs. He told me the song he wanted, and I was supposed to walk down the road and arrange the cones for a particular song. I thought, oh no, this is going to take forever. I started arranging the cones. Next thing I knew, I was waking up (in my dream still). I was disoriented, but my brother was there, saying, good job, I got enough practice in. Let's go home now. I was distressed because I had left the party early just so my brother could practice his video game skills.

When we got home, the party was over and everyone was gone. Mom was looking really tired. I asked her how long the party lasted. She said, until 6. I was confused because I thought she meant 6 PM, so I started to say "but--but-" but then I realized she meant 6 in the morning, which really surprised me, because I didn't know that I had been away for 6 hours. I was really upset that I hadn't been able to say goodbye to Dani, but Mom said that Dani had been so tired that she decided to spend the night at our house, so I thought, okay, I will see her when she wakes up. I started to help Mom clean up.

When I walked into the kitchen, there was one of those electronic picture frames that shows a slideshow. It was full of pictures from the party. I was very grateful that Mom had taken pictures. Watching the slideshow, everyone's hair was funny, so I realized that they had played some kind of crazy hair game where whoever had the craziest hairdo won. I wanted to see Dani in the slideshow but she wasn't in it. My brother was in there twice, which made me mad because he had been driving with me, keeping me away from the party, and he had actually been at the party, at the same time. I didn't understand how he did it, so I got mad. In one picture, he had a really big long-haired black wig, and the other picture was a video clip of him eating all the party food in fast-motion. There was also a picture of my sister with a really weird hairdo.

I went around the picture frame, which was sitting on the island in the kitchen, and started throwing away plates.

1. My dad had made a scavenger hunt for my mom, and I was helping her with it along with my little brother and sister. Mom was getting more and more emotional as we went, and by the time we found the last clue I could tell that the ending was going to be really special. I decided to wait behind, and told my siblings to wait too, so mom could experience the ending by herself. However, she got to a certain spot about 100 feet away from us and picked up a shovel and started digging, so I decided to go help her. About 45 degrees to the right of her from where I was standing, I saw a shovel under a little roof-with-no-walls, whatever you call those things. I picked it up (it was red) and turned to look at my mom, but she pointed to something that I couldn't see, because something was in the way, but I knew that it was a shovel. So I dropped the shovel I had and went and picked up the other one, which was blue. Then, I went and helped her dig. Buried maybe a foot under the ground was a red and gold chest, which was medium-size. We opened it, and dad had poured an incredible amount of love into this treasure chest. The love poured over us and completely overwhelmed us, and we both started sobbing. It felt amazing. After a minute or so, mom shut the chest. We all got in the car, which was parked a little ways away, and started driving. I was still crying uncontrollably. I was in the passenger seat. We pulled up to a stoplight in the left lane (but still on the right side of the road) and another car pulled up in the right lane. I was already looking out the window, so the car just pulled into my view. In the driver seat was a girl who was maybe in her 20's, but she was sitting on the front of the seat, and a young child was sitting behind her. They looked alike: they both had brown hair and kind of round faces. They both started looking at me, and so I covered my face because I didn't want to see anyone and I didn't want anyone to see me, but just as I was covering my face, I noticed the way the younger girl (she looked like she was maybe 7 or 8) was looking at me. It was a very interesting look, like she wasn't even human, it contained something like coolness or aloofness, but also compassion. Her eyes were very unnatural, or maybe the eyes themselves weren't unnatural, but they jumped out at me, so that I felt like she was actually floating in the space between the two cars, and they were kind of swirling. They kept changing color, from brown to green to blue, to slightly orangeish, to purple, cycling through a bunch of colors, but on certain colors they would sort of flare up, not in an angry sense, but they just seemed more luminous, brighter, and they peaked when they turned to blue, and I felt total understanding in her eyes. Her mouth seemed to say everything at once, but somehow it wasn't disapproving. It's hard to explain, but she seemed to be giving a commentary on everything in the world just by her mouth, and there was positive and negative, but the negative wasn't negative, and the positive was no different from the negative, and both sides sort of combined into an intellectual or at least informed expression of love that dizzied me with how intelligent and fashionable (not good-looking, but sort of... stylish) and somehow she was very beautiful in a strange, nonhuman sort of way, in the same way that you might call a cat beautiful. I think she was a cherub. I noticed all of this in the split second that I was covering my face, or rather I had already seen it but it took me a second to process it, so that by the time I was thinking about her I already had covered my face. And I was still crying, but I sort of slid my hands down my face until I wasn't covering my eyes, but I was still covering my nose and mouth, and we looked at each other, and... were in a sort of communion. During this second look, even her hair was changing colors, gold and dark brown and orange, it flared up just like her eyes when it turned orange, and she opened her mouth and I felt like I was going to die, and then my car started going, leaving the other car behind, but I was only partially aware that she wasn't even there anymore, because she was sort of burnt into my mind. The last thing I remember is my vision going dark, with her hair turning fiery red (she wasn't even there anymore, this was from the after-image) and turning into a blanket, which was flat like a floating square, but tilted a little bit, so that the right bottom corner was lower than the left one, and then it was coming towards me, enveloping my vision, and still rotating clockwise, until it totally covered me.


Definitely one of the best dreams I have ever had.




2. My second dream, after I woke up and went back to sleep, was much more prosaic. I was in a building, and I was standing there, and I was supposed to go somewhere, but I wasn't, don't know why, but anyway there was this girl, who looked kind of like a fish and a lollipop put together, sounds weird but that's the only way to describe her (she was kind of weird looking). She was doing the same thing as me, just standing there, and I had a feeling we had a lot in common. I said hi and we had a pretty long conversation which I don't remember, but I was thinking, we could definitely be pretty good friends, so I asked her what her name was, and she said "Legack". I thought, that's a strange name but whatever, and typed it into my phone, and said, let's swap phone numbers. She said sure, and told me her phone number (I don't remember it) and I typed it into my phone, and she typed mine into her phone, although I don't remember actually telling her my number. Then (I have an iphone, and when you're entering a new contact on iphone, there are like a million slots where you can type little facts about the person) I started scrolling through the facts, and they looked really complicated. They were all computer-programming-y, and had to do with how texting worked. For example, a lot of them were slots where you could type some code saying 'if this person says a, display it on my phone as b'. I was scrolling through them, saying, "okay, I don't think we need to do any of this" but she said "no it's important". So we stood there for a while, both looking at my phone trying to figure how to type the right codes in, but we couldn't really figure it out.

Don't want to post my dreams today, so I'll just jot down some notes so I don't forget.

1. mom waking me up
2. ian is 12 (dani)
3. quinn turns into a girl